


Rebel Anarchy

by Kilo8



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood and Gore, Borderlands: Borderlands 2, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 186,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28493727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilo8/pseuds/Kilo8
Summary: With no one left and no place to call home, the last surviving rebel fighter from a ruined world begins his journey to avenge his planet and comrades; to Pandora: where he plans to hunt down the leadership of Hyperion, the cause of his misfortune. However, he and the rest of Pandora will soon be thrown into a storm of anarchy when a certain redhead shows up with her robot.(NOTE) The main Borderlands 2 storyline doesn't start until chapter 5.
Relationships: Gaige (Borderlands)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	1. The Path of a Rebel

**Author's Note:**

> So to those who might have read this on FanFiction.Net, know that this is just a reposting of my story. For those of you who are new, welcome to one of the craziest borderlands stories you'll ever find. We got everything you would expect from Borderlands story, and more! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the mayhem and insanity.

(Note) I'm only doing this for chapter one.

** Stories text formats **

"Talking"

'Thinking'

" _Echo/Radio_ "

' **Krieg's inner voice** '

X-X-X

It was early in the evening on the lawless wastes of Pandora. A cloaked, hooded man crouched atop a small hill by a ragged tree, working at a slab of metal. A light blade sprang from an emitter on the back of his glove as he used it to etch words into the plate. After some time, the man finally stepped back and looked at the slab of steel before him. He ran his eyes over the letters that he had carved, as the metal popped and cooled from the heat. It read "Here lies Colonel Reyt Barkov. Freedom fighter, revolutionary, Mentor, and father figure. May he find his freedom in the next life." The cloaked man kept staring at the slab, even after it cooled off and stopped glowing. After a seeming eternity, the man let out a world-weary sigh.

Turning, he walked over to a large boulder close by and looked over his gear. Grabbing a backpack, he started stuffing items in. SDUs, the food he managed to scavenge, components, and some tools that he managed to save. He threw the bag over his left shoulder and grabbed the last item, a long object wrapped in a cloth, which he slung over his right shoulder. Sitting next to the boulder was a glowing white and blue wolf made of semi-transparent hard-light. It was about the size of a large dog, with golden eyes that managed to convey sadness despite their artificial nature. As the man finished getting everything together he stopped and gazed into the distance, over to what was left of the now smoking scrap pile that used to be their ship. He was more than sure anything of use had been destroyed when one of the remaining fuel tanks exploded an hour after the crash. He was just lucky he wasn't inside of it.

He looked one last time at the grave marker by the tree. After about a minute he spoke to no one but the dead. "Well, wish me luck." He turned to the wolf, "Well, ready to go boy?" The wolf gave a low whimpered bark. "I know boy, we'll come back and visit again." The wolf gave a bark in acceptance. "Okay. Let's go then." He said as he turned and started walking into the wastelands of Pandora. While the wolf started to follow, it faded into a swarm of light that quickly dissipated.

About an hour later, the man was still walking through the frozen wasteland when a beeping sound came from his pocket. He pulled out his ECHO device and saw it was an alert for one of the few ECHOcasters that he was subscribed to. Seeing who it was put a smile on what little of his face could be seen. He pulled out some earbuds but only put the right bud in so that he could still hear his surroundings.

Gaige: " _Hello my faithful subscribers, all twenty-three of you anyways. So some big news, in a few months the Eden 5 Youth Science fair will be here again and this time my science teacher Mr. Bakers has made entry mandatory for everyone in our class. Pfft, I was already planning on entering anyway, this is just extra credit on top of it, and now I also get to whoop Marcie's butt at the same time! HELL YEAH!_ "

An older male voice in the background suddenly chimes in.

Gaige's Dad: " _Gaige dear, what have I told you about being too loud?_ "

Gaige: " _Sorry Dad!" She yells back. "Anyways, so I was thinking about maybe doing something with robotics. You know something that "Marcie Halloway" would have no chance of ever understanding. Although knowing her, she'll probably just have daddy buy everything for her project._ " She said in a mock high pitch voice.

Gaige: " _I haven't decided what kind of robotics I'm going to do though. I mean there's your military, service, medical, construction, prosthetics, the list goes on and on. I got a few ideas though. I was thinking something with claws maybe_."

The man chuckled at this as he kept walking while he continued listening to the maverick inventor. " You've got it easy Gaige." He said as he continued to walk on.

X-X-X

The sun was slowly, but surely, starting to rise over the wasteland as the man continued onward. It had actually been about two days since the man had crashed onto Pandora, but apparently, a day on Pandora was about 90 hours; so the nights were about 45 hours long. During those two days, the man had yet to find any settlements or signs of civilization other than an old 'Welcome to Pandora' billboard by Dahl, along what was probably a road that had long since been buried under the ice and snow. That didn't provide him much help other than a possible general direction as his Echo device couldn't lock into the planet GPS network, which was Hyperion controlled, so there was no way to access it until he found and hacked a fast travel station.

To top it off the man only had another two days' worth of rations before he ran out of what he had managed to recover from the crash. He decided that it was time to try out some of the local game and get a head start on his survival needs, as his mentor taught him. He spent about an hour looking around the frozen wasteland for any animals or edible plants, with no luck whatsoever. He was about to give up and just try again later when suddenly he heard a screech above him. He looked up to see a... Flying snake? His HUD identified it as a Rakk.

"Well it doesn't look like it has much meat on it, but beggars can't be choosers."

The man was about to go for the wrapped object slung on his back when an explosion went off, disrupting the silence of the tundra. He turned to see a pillar of smoke rising up and the sound of gunfire in the distance. He looked back again to see that the Rakk was flying away from him. He just sighed in defeat before he started to run in the direction of the firefight. "Someone is gonna regret making me fight on an empty stomach." He muttered as he pulled the clothed wrapped item off his back.

X-X-X

'It was supposed to be a simple job, pick up info from the informant, bring it back to Sanctuary, and give it to Roland,' he thought. Cpl. Reiss was ducked down behind his wrecked Runner as over several dozen Marauders and Psychos were peppering away at his position with weapons fire, shouting their typical insults, threats of death, and promises of cannibalism. "I'M GONNA EAT YOUR EYEBALLS!" he heard one such Psycho shout out. And to make matters worse, all he had was an old Dahl handgun, as his assault rifle was thrown out of the Runner when he had crashed.

Reiss was wearing an old set of gray Crimson Lance armor with a black undersuit, brown pants, and steel-toed combat boots. His helmet was the same gray as the rest of this armor and had red lenses for his eyes. The whole helmet looked like it had gone through several wars with how many scratches and dents were in it. On his hip was a Tediore quick charging shield, which was just as busted and useless as the Runner. His ECHO device was also ruined, which meant he couldn't switch to any of his other weapons or even call for help. This also meant that his ammo was severely limited, so all in all, he was fairly fucked.

"Well, things can't get much worse," he muttered before a rocket flew just half a meter over his head and impacted a large stone jutting out of the ground about 20 meters from him.

"Time for killing~!" he heard someone with a somewhat deep voice yell in an almost sing-song tone.

"Oh no". He said as he glanced over the wreckage to see a Goliath hefting a Vladof rocket launcher under its arm with a midget riding on its shoulders. "Great job Reiss, you just had to say it." He said out loud, firing off rounds in what was most likely his last stand.

Reiss and the Bandits continued to exchange fire with each other until a rocket nailed the wrecked Runner, which sent it and Reiss flying several meters into the air, slamming Reiss into another boulder. He was dazed from the impact; the radio in the car must have turned on because he could hear it crackling through different channels as if it was stuck on scan. It took a couple of seconds for his vision to clear up, but when it finally did, he found himself staring down the barrel of a Jakobs triple barrel shotgun that a Marauder had leveled at his face, "Finally something to kill!" he yelled, grinning maniacally.

Before the Marauder could pull the trigger, Reiss watched as the Marauder's head exploded. Moments later, the sound of a powerful gunshot rang across the tundra... Reiss heard a loud metallic 'ping' sound followed by the sound of a gun being reloaded above him. Reiss looked up to see a figure in a ragged looking cloak loading a fresh ammo clip into an odd-looking rifle that was partially covered in a ragged cloth. From what Reiss could see, the rifle seemed to resemble something out of an ancient World War 2 movie.

"Alright... which one of you assholes decided to start shooting and scare off my breakfast?" the cloaked man said in a calm voice. A thought seemed to cross his mind. "Or is it dinner… How do you even tell time on a planet with 90 hour days?"

The bandits all stared at him for a moment in shock and confusion. Some of the bandits actually looked like they were pondering the question he asked. The short-lived silence was broken by one of the Psychos who yelled, "You're gonna be my new meat bicycle!" And with that, all the bandits started shooting or throwing any sharp objects they had at the intruder while Reiss scrambled to a nearby rock outcropping for cover.

Once he got there Reiss looked back to see the cloaked man firing from the cover of another outcropping, when a rocket hit near him and engulfed him in a cloud of dust and smoke. The Bandits stopped firing as the smoke and dust hung in the air. Everything was quiet for several seconds as the bandits looked at each other. "Did we get him?" A Marauder asked out loud. A moment after the Marauder uttered his question the newcomer bursts out of the cloud as his tattered and burnt cloak falling away. He fired at several bandits close to him, hitting them either in the head or double-tapping them in the chest with surprising accuracy. In a swift motion, almost too fast to be seen, he reloaded the rifle and ran for one of the bandit trucks, letting his shield soak up the damage from any shots fired at him. He jumped on the hood and fired twice at the turret gunner, who snapped back from the shots before his dead body slumped into the turret well. Just as the man was about to jump down a Psycho midget with a buzz-axe jumped him from behind, grabbing onto his back.

"WAH-HAAAA! YOU WEREN'T HERE BEFORE! WHAT HAPPEN! WHO ARE YOU!" the midget wildly screamed as it waved it's buzz-axe around and slapping the side of the man's head with his other hand. After a moment of panic, the man grabs one of the midgets outstretched arms with his left hand, and throws the midget over his shoulder, slamming it into the truck bed. He brought up his rifle and slammed the butt of the rifle into the screaming midget's face. The force of the impact was enough to crush the mask the midget wore and shatter its skull. "AAAAGH! Auuuugh! AHHHH!... I die now." The midget said before it went limp.

The man took a second to catch his breath until he heard a Psycho yell, "He was gonna be my new hat!" Bandits started charging at him from both sides of the Technical. He turned to the group on the left and tossed a metallic sphere into the air towards the bandits yelling, "Time to play fetch boy!"

The sphere, which was about the size of a baseball, started to glow, as a white and blue light began to gather around it and taking shape. In seconds a glowing white and blue wolf that was about the size of a tiger formed in front of the bandits. Its golden eyes shone out like stars in the desert environment, but only for a moment. Finding its first target, the wolf's eyes turned red. It leaps forward and slams into a Psycho, pinning the man to the ground. The wolf quickly starts ripping the bandit apart with its razor-sharp fangs. The Psycho could only yell out "Oh God, oh God!" In mere seconds the Psycho was ripped to shreds. The wolf slowly turned to look at its next victim, a Marauder standing several meters away. "What the hell is that?!" The Marauder yells before the wolf snarled and pounced at the Marauder.

Reiss turned back to the man and continued to watch him as he jumped down from the truck and fired away with his rifle, which only seemed to have about eight shots, but he was making each shot count as each round killed a bandit. Just as he was putting down another bandit, a group of three Psychos started to rush from behind. Seeing this Reiss yelled out to the man, "Watch your six!"

In less than two seconds the man spun around, slung the rifle, swapped to a Vladof pistol, and began unloading a hail of lead into the Psychos. The first two Psychos were cut down by the rapid-fire weapon, the third Psycho, however, got close and jumps at the stranger, buzz-axe raised over his head, ready to strike the man down. "GET READY FOR BAD TOUCH!" the Psycho yelled, attempting to attack the man before he could realign his aim. Instead of standing there in surprise, though, the man charged at the psycho, letting him close the distance between to punch the Psycho in the gut with his left arm before the axe could strike him. The only thing was, it wasn't just a punch he hit the Psycho with, as Reiss noticed the tip of what appeared to be white and blue glowing blade protruding from Psycho's back for a second until it dissipated and the bandit fell to the ground.

Not missing a beat, the man swung his pistol to his right and shot another approaching Bandit in the head. As that Bandit collapsed to the ground, it's rifle accidentally fired off a shot, managing to nail the Goliath in the head and knock it's helmet off.

'Oh crap' Reiss thought as he watched the Goliath's skin turn red. Throwing away his rocket launcher, in a fountain of blood, it's skull-like head popped up out of its body attached to an elongated it's blind rage it threw off its midget rider.

"Mistake! BIG GODDAMN MISTAKE!" He yelled, charging the man. "Die for me, BITCH!"

The man starts running the other way in a sudden panic as if he's never seen a raging Goliath before. 'He must be from off-world,' Reiss thought. The man ran and jumped over a group of bandits by another Bandit Technical and kept running. These bandits, who had just been watching the fight, were now fully focused on killing the man. They were so focused in fact, that they didn't see the raging Goliath coming at them till he jumped straight at the truck and landed on top of it, crushing both it and the bandits in the turret and truck bed. This caused the vehicle to erupt in an explosion that showered a few of the nearby bandits with fire, metal, and blood. The Goliath quickly got back up and began beating down the last few bandits around the wreck while the man and his... Light wolf, started dealing with another small group of bandits.

After the Goliath finished killing its remaining comrade in a fit of rage the Goliath, or GOD-liath as it was now labeled on anyone's HUD, had rapidly grown to almost twice its original size after killing a dozen or so Bandits. The Goliath turned and spotted Reiss, "I CAN'T BE STOPPED!" he yelled as it charged at Reiss.

Reiss attempted to move only to trip on a small rock, causing him to fall forward. He rolled over and looked up to see the GOD-liath only a few meters from him, ready to smash him into a bloody pulp, when the wolf jumped over Reiss from behind and tackled the raging brute to the ground. The GOD-liath tried to punch the wolf only for his fist to pass through the wolf's head. He stopped in confusion, then tried to punch it again and again with the same results as before. "WHY CAN'T I HIT THE PUPPY!" the raging hulk yelled. The Goliath got up from the ground, throwing the snarling wolf off of him as he stood.

Just as the GOD-liath managed to get on it's feet again the wolf reared around and sunk its fangs into the GOD-liath's leg, it's claws then seemed to extend to several times their normal length and digging into the ground and rooting it in place. This left the GOD-liath pinned to the spot as he attempted to shake the wolf off. As the GOD-liath was distracted the man jumped up on it's back, grabbing on to its long neck and attempted to snap it by throwing all his weight into it, only to find that it had no effect.

"HAHAHA, that tickles, but you no strong enough to break my neck!" the GOD-liath yelled.

"Then try this instead," The man said as a 30 cm long, white and blue energy blade formed from a device on his arm. With a quick slash, the man severed the brute's head from its neck. The headless GOD-liath just stood there frozen for several seconds as blood spewed from what was left of its neck like a fire hose. the man jumped off and the wolf let go of its leg, letting the brute fall forward as several pieces of loot fell to the ground with it. The head rolled over to Reiss's feet and stopped in a way that caused the head's still open eyes to stare back at him. Reiss didn't know how long he was staring at the head until it was suddenly kicked away by the man, sending it flying into his blown up Runner.

Reiss looked up at the man that had saved him and was able to truly take in his appearance. The man was in either his late teens or early twenties with jet-black hair, blue eyes, and light tan skin. He stood around 180cm tall and was wearing a tight-fitting gray and black soldier's uniform with a metal chest plate that was pockmarked with dozens of nicks and dents. The armor piece appeared to have a faded emblem, a blue silhouette of a wolf howling towards the sky framed in a white hexagon on the left side of the chest plate, over his heart. On his left shoulder was a small wedge-shaped, bare metal shoulder pauldron that had several gashes in it. On his left hip was a device, which looked like an overly modified SDU. Connected to the back of his belt was a black cape-like cloth with blue trim on its bottom edge, which reached down to just past his knees (Think of the kama's that clone ARC troopers wear in Star Wars). He also had on gray military pants with well-worn knee pads and a set of metal plates that covered the front of his lower legs. a pair of well-worn combat boots protected his feet. His forearms were covered by some kind of small devices with small touch screens, which connected into backhand plates on his fingerless combat gloves that appeared to be the emitters for the energy blade. In his hands was the rifle from before; now that Reiss was closer he could tell that it was a Jakobs rifle, but it was unlike any Jakob's weapon he had ever seen. It was about a third of the length of your average Jakobs sniper rifle, but it didn't have a pistol grip or a scope on it, and it appeared to be clip feed from the top and had a rifle strap on it. As noted earlier, it looked more like something out of an old war film (think of an M1 Garand rifle only with the color styling of a Jakob's Hammer Buster).

"So bud, tell me, who are you and what was so damn important that you picked a fight with over three dozen armed and crazy thugs?" He said.

It took Reiss a second to gather his thoughts, "I- I didn't pick a fight with them. They ambushed me. They're bandits, that's what they do here on Pandora. As for me, I'm Corporal Reiss from the Crimson Raiders. I was on my way back to Sanctuary after an important pickup."

The man looked at Reiss for a few seconds till he asked. "Crimson Raiders? Like the Crimson Lance? because that would explain the armor you have."

"Well, yes and no. You see after the fall of Atlas, those of us in the Lance that were stationed here were abandoned on Pandora with no way to get home, let alone off this hell hole. So when Hyperion came to Pandora in force," Reiss noticed the man's eyes narrow in anger at the mention of Hyperion, but he continued on. "Many of us decided to join up with Roland and formed the Crimson Raiders to fight back against Hyperion, as they didn't care who we are. Handsome Jack sees everyone who lives on the surface as a Bandit, even the innocent."

The man thought about it for a moment until he extended his hand to Reiss. "Kai," He said.

"Sorry?"

"My name is Kai, rebel fighter, and sworn enemy of Hyperion."

Reiss looked at his hand and then back to his eyes. He could see the kindness in them as well as the look of hardship and pain, the kind of look someone only gets after years of hard fighting. After a moment Reiss finally took Kai's hand and the fighter pulled him up.

Just then they both heard a low growl, they turned to see the wolf, which seemed to have shrunk to the size of a German shepherd, staring at Reiss with killer intent in it piercing red eyes. "Uuuh, is he going to...?" Reiss stammered, taking a step back. Kai looked from Reiss to the wolf. "Hati, stand down boy. He's not the enemy."

The wolf looked to Kai for a moment and then back to Reiss as its eyes turned back to their earlier golden color. Hati just continued to stare at Reiss for several more seconds with an 'I'll be watching you' glare. The wolf then started to dematerialize in a shower of light until all that was left was a floating sphere that promptly flew back into Kai's waiting hand.

"Sorry about Hati, after everything we've been through, he finds it hard to trust anyone," Kai said as he placed the sphere into a slot on the device on his left hip.

"Seem a little testy for a program," Reiss said, eyeing the sphere.

"He's an AI, and a smart one at that, but when my mom programmed him she made him a little overprotective of me." He said with a chuckle. "Parents. Am I right?" His expression saddens a little, as though he was remembering a bad or painful memory until a loud shrill caught their attention.

They turned to see the Psycho midget that had been riding the Goliath standing among it's fallen comrades. Unlike most midgets, this one had on a golden Psycho mask and had long red dreadlocks. For his clothes, he had an armored chest plate made from an old stop sign, spiked shoulder pads, and black leather pants with foreleg guards made from license plates. In his right hand was an old Maliwan fire pistol; in his left hand was a beat-up machete with dry blood stained on it.

"You assholes kill my men and my BFF Mong-da." He said in a high pitch voice as he pointed the machete at the dead Goliath. "You have no idea who you scatterbrains are fucking with! I'm the one who showed these men how to live, how to fight, how to survive. I alone banded them together-" the midget continued to rant as Kai and Reiss watched in confusion.

"Well, this is interesting."

"What is?" Kai asked turning to Reiss.

"It appears what we have here is a Psycho midget that has a couple of extra brain cells."

"And we should be worried because...?" Kai asked leaving the question hanging as the midget was now on some rant about his origin story.

"Oh no. I wasn't implying that this is a bad thing, it's just something of a rarity to see. Usually, these little guys can't even make a logical sentence, and here this one appears to have formed a whole road gang." Reiss said not taking his eyes off the midget.

"I see," Kai said looking back to the midget.

"And so I, Blood Rage the Mighty, leader and founder of the roving Blood Rakk's, protectorate of the Frozen Plains of the Outlands, declares that you all will die by my-."

The midget, or Blood Rage, as he called himself, never got to finish what he was saying, as a single gunshot rang out and hit him square in the middle of his head; piercing through the mask he wore and causing the back of his head to explode like a melon. The weapons he was holding fell from his grip as Blood Rage's body collapsed seconds later alongside several pieces of loot. Reiss, who had ducked at the sound of the gunshot, looked and saw Kai had the smoking muzzle of his rifle pointed at where the midgets head had been.

"Well that was disappointing, and here I thought we were going to have a boss fight or something."

They were both quiet for a few seconds as Reiss tried to process what just happened.

"Okay… Well, do you think any of these trucks still work?" Reiss asked, breaking the silence.

Kai looked around the shattered battlefield until something caught his eye. "That truck looks like it can still work.'' He said as he pointed to a blue-green Bandit Technical with a saw blade launcher that was flipped on its side.

They both spent the next forty minutes flipping the truck upright and replacing a blown tire on it.

As the two fighters were finishing up the repairs, Reiss finally asked Kai something that had been bugging him. "So are you here just to fight Hyperion or are you here to be a Vault Hunter? because you look like the type of person who would."

Kai stopped and shot Reiss a confused look. "What's a Vault Hunter?" he asked as Reiss looked at him in shock.

"Wait, you've never heard of the Vaults? Ancient alien vaults that hold weapons, treasure, and who knows what else, bringing the adventurers that hunt down these vaults for fame, fortune, and power? Hell, even Handsome Jack has most of Hyperion scouring the planet for the vault's location." Kai just shook his head, leaving Reiss dumbfounded. "How have you never heard of the Vault? Where have you been all your life, stuck under a rock?"

"No, I've been fighting for freedom on an outer rim colony world that has been basically cut off from the rest of the Galaxy for the last ten years."

"Oh." was all Reiss could say. It was quiet for about a minute after that.

Kai slowly looked at Reiss, "So Jack wants this... Vault?"

"Yeah, that's the main reason he came to this hell hole of a planet. Hell, it's the main reason why anyone would come here anymore, other than to escape the law."

Kai appeared to be thinking about this new information while tossing the tools into the back of the truck. "So just to be clear, if I were to track down the vault, I could stop Handsome Jack from getting it contents, and then I could possibly use it against him and the rest of Hyperion," Kai asked.

"Basically, of course, none of that matters unless we can retrieve the Vault Key from Jack. He stole it from a scientist named Tannis, who lives in Sanctuary now. Actually, you never answered my first question as to why you are here. Do you even have a plan or a place to stay here on Pandora?"

Kai leaned against the truck and thought about it till he finally shrugged. "Not really, my partner who I came here with had the plan but he… he died when we crash-landed," He said in an uneasy tone.

Reiss could see from the hurt look on his face it was someone close to him. "Who was he?"

"My mentor, and basically my father figure for the last few years. His name was Barkov, Col. Reyt Barkov. To put it simply, he cared for those he trusted while also being a grade-A hardass to all of those around him." Kai said with a small smile.

"He sounds like my old drill Sergeant from basic."

"He basically is one, but imagine if instead of the basic few weeks you had with that guy imagine that time stretched out over nearly seven years," Kai said. Reiss visibly shuddered at the thought as Kai chuckled. "If it weren't for Handsome Jack, he and a lot of other people I cared for would be alive right now," Kai said somberly as he just stared into the distance.

"Well, since you are interested in fighting Handsome Jack, you could tag along with me to Sanctuary, it's the best place for anyone who comes to this hell hole to start again." Reiss told him. "And besides, would you rather stay out here and sleep outside in the wilds of Pandora or go where there's a roof over your head and a hot meal."

Just then they both heard a low growl, Kai looked down and grabs his stomach. "Looks like one part of you is on board," Reiss said with a chuckle.

Kai just shook his head. "Traitor," he muttered to his stomach.

Reiss climbed up into the driver's seat and turned to Kai. "The way I see it, you saved my life today, so I at least owe you a place to stay and a good hot meal, maybe even a spot in the Raiders. So what do you say?"

Kai thought about it for a few seconds, until his stomach started to growl again and he just sighs. "Okay, okay, I heard you the first time, damn traitor," he said as he walked around and climbed into the turret. He then paused and said, "You know that whole growing up, leave the nest and start a new chapter of your life deal that everyone goes through when they get older?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Never expected mine to be this level of fubar," he flatly said.

They both looked at one another and started laughing as they drove off.

X-X-X

After several hours of driving, joking around, and stopping to take pictures of funny road signs, the two travelers finally managed to get to Sanctuary. They pulled up to the outer wall and called the guard on the comm box outside. Kai looked around and saw several buildings off to the left of the gate.

"Hey Davis, open up would ya," Reiss said into the comm box. "How many times do I have to tell you, it's Lt. Davis, CORPORAL!" came a voice from the comm box.

As Reiss began arguing with this Lt. Davis over the comm set, Kai kept looking around the area until he till noticed some movement by some old buildings off to the left of the gate. "Ugh, Reiss," he said as Kai pulled his rifle out.

"And another thing, you still owe me three hundred bucks from the last poker game," the guy on the comm said as several Psychos started to come out of the huts.

"Reiss!"

"Oh, sure I'll pay you back after you give me that Torgue shotgun you still owe me from the week before," Riess yell into the comm box.

"REISS!" Kai yelled.

Reiss whipped around and yelled "WHAT!"

Just then the truck explodes from a grenade, and he could hear several Psychos yelling. "Oh," was all Reiss uttered before turning back to the comm box.

"Uuugh Lieutenant, we could use an exit here, the neighbors are getting rowdy again," he said.

"Right, one second," they heard on the comm box.

Several seconds later the gate opens up just wide enough to walk through, "GO!" Kai yelled as they both rushed through the opening as bullets started to whizzed by their heads. The gate slammed shut several seconds after they got through.

It took them both seconds to catch their breaths till Kai spoke up, "Seem like a nice area around here."

Reiss glanced at him, "Yeah, until you disturb the neighbors, then it becomes a madhouse."

They then started walking towards Sanctuary, which was sitting on a spot of land across a massive gorge that seems to encircle the whole city. As Kai was walking across the bridge he could see a guardhouse with a shield generator on top. He could also see a guard in green Crimson Lance armor standing on an observation deck that Reiss waved to. The guard response in kind by flipping him the bird.

"I'm guessing that's Davis," Kai asked.

"Yup, don't worry, he's nice once you get to know him."

They approach the gate and met another guard in red Lance armor, minus the helmet. "Cpl. Riess," he greeted.

"Pvt. Jessup," Reiss responded.

Jessup looked over to Kai. "Who's this kid," Jessup asked to Kai irritation.

"This is Kai, he saved my life from a bandit ambush. He's interested in fighting Hyperion, so I'm taking him to meet Roland."

Jessup looked at Kai for a few seconds then just shrugged his shoulders and turn to the gate controls. It opened up a few seconds later and they walk in. The first thing Kai saw was a blond-haired man covered in grease arguing with someone next to a rusted truck outside of an auto garage. They just kept walking past them, up the stairs, past a med clinic called Zed's, until they reached the center of town. In the middle was a large metal monument-like structure that didn't seem to represent anything Kai could think of. They continued on past the monument to a building with Crimson lance banners hanging in front of it.

"Nice place," Kai said.

"It is what it is. Come on I'll introduce you to Roland." Reiss said.

They walked past another guard outside the door, but before Reiss could open it himself the steel door flew open and a man with dark hair in a doctor's uniform with a name tag reading Dr. Zed on the front left side of it and a medical mask over his mouth came rushing out and quickly turned around.

"Oh come on Tannis, I just need it for a short time," Zed said.

A second later he ducked as a glass test tube shot out from inside. "If you think I would ever let you use my equipment again after what you did to my centrifuge, then guess again. Now leave, I have work to attend to and I don't need to be bothered by any of you fools." said a woman who walked out and stood in front of the door.

The woman was about 5.6 with ghostly pale skin, likely from so much time indoors, with very short dark brown hair and a pair of gold-tinted goggles on. She was wearing an open red leather jacket and a matching leather choker on her neck. Under the jacket, she has a white shirt with a brown leather top cut off at the midriff over it and wore light gray pants with knee-high leather heeled boots.

Reiss then decided to spoke up. "Hey, Tannis is Roland in?"

Tannis looked at Reiss, then rapidly waved him off, "Yes, Yes, he's in the war room." She said in an annoyed tone as she started to turn to go back inside only to pause and pulled up her goggles revealing her light green eyes as she looked Kai over. She leans in a little and took a few sniffs.

"You're from off-planet, you smell oddly." She said before walking back inside as Kai stared after her for a few seconds.

"Uuuh."

"Yeah, that's Patricia Tannis, it's best not to bother her... or make eye contact for that matter... come on." Reiss said as they entered.

The first floor was a large room with several lockers, bunks, and a Lab Tannis was working in... if you could even call it a lab. They went upstairs and went past what appeared to be some more living quarters till they got to a room with a large vault door and more bunks. The next room they came too had several monitors mounted on the walls and a holo table in the center. There were two soldiers talking to a dark skin man who had a sturdy muscular build, wearing a black beret with the Crimson Raiders logo on it, black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and tan and rust camo pants with a knee pad on the right leg, a foreleg guard on the left leg and a pair of combat boots. The soldiers saluted and left the room before Roland turned to the newcomers.

"Reiss, it about time you got back. What happened?" Roland asked.

"Well, that's an interesting story," Reiss said.

After Reiss gave Roland the package he had picked up, he started to explain to Roland everything that had happened till the end of Kai's fight with the bandits. "And if it wasn't for Kai here, I wouldn't have made it back, sir."

Roland turned to Kai and approached him. "So, it looks like I owe you for saving one of my best men, and I thank you for that," Roland said. "Wasn't a problem sir," Kai said. "The only question I have for you is why did you come to Pandora, and what are you going to do now," Roland asked.

Kai looked Roland in the eyes for a moment in silence, Roland noticed that he seemed to grow rigid, and his eyes show a spark of anger, and regret, but there was also determination and conviction as well.

"I came here with my friend and mentor who… Died after we had crashed landed here. A Hyperion patrol caught us while we were on our entry approach and they shot us down. As for why we had come here, it was to hunt down Handsome Jack and several other individuals in his corporation, put an end to his reign of terror, and stop him from getting to this Vault that I keep hearing about, sir" he finished.

Roland cocked an eyebrow. "Any particular reason for this conviction son?"

Kai not taking his eyes away from Roland's took a breath. "Handsome Jack and Hyperion took everything from me. Hyperion came to my world in force and took control of it, so we rebelled against their occupation. For the last 10 years, I have fought beside my friends, family, and my fellow citizens for our planet's freedom. We were winning to, until Jack came to power that is. After that, all bets were off. Jack's tactics were cruel and sadistic, in the end, I am the last surviving member of our cause, and of my world. I'm the last man standing if you would. If what you're asking is if you can trust me, sir, then know that all I want is for Jack to pay for all of his crimes."

Roland looked Kai over again. He could see the conviction in his eyes, but he was also a little concerned with the anger he could see within, but he saw no deception. 'I'll have to watch out for him in the future', he thought. 'That kind of anger and determination could get him hurt or worse.' He kept looking him over for a few more seconds till he finally smiled and held his hand out.

"Well then, in that case, welcome to the Crimson Raiders, Vault Hunter", Roland said as Kai took his hand and shook it.


	2. Spark of Anarchy

Pandora. . . Too most the word pertains to the ancient Greek myth of Pandora's box, a box that is said to hold all of the known evil in the world. These days, however, the legend of Pandora takes the form of a planet; a planet filled with poisonous plants, deadly creatures, inhospitable wastelands ranging from blazing hot to cold as hell, corporations run by megalomaniacs trying to kill everyone, and bandits, lot and lots of bandits. To anyone visiting Pandora they would be facing all of these threats plus more; a world of pain, suffering, and likely death. As for those who already live there though… It just another Tuesday.

Kai was firing away with the machine gun in the turret of a Runner, while Reiss was driving like a mad man as three bandit trucks were chasing them across the frozen tundra.

"Reiss, I thought you said they only had one truck!" Kai yelled over the gunfire.

"Hey, I was just as surprised as you, who knew they had friends coming over!" Reiss yelled back.

They were on a recovery mission to retrieve a shipment of medical supplies that were stolen by the Cross Chop gang two days before. They had managed to steal the meds back, but now they were both running for their lives from a group of bloodthirsty bandits who were shooting at them with bullets, flaming saw blades, and explosive barrels.

"In front!" Reiss yells. Kai turned to see two more bandit trucks blocking the road ahead.

"Any ideas," Reiss yells.

"You're the driver! I don't know the way around here. Just get us out of here" Kai yelled back as he kept firing on the ones behind them.

Reiss took two seconds to think before he spoke up, "I got an idea, so hang on." Reiss turned left and took the Runner off-road over a hill.

"Ugh, Reiss where the hell are we going," Kai asked as he glanced to Reiss.

"Just trust me."

Kai heard a loud metallic thunk and looked back to see a saw blade stuck in the rear of the Runner. "Crap," Kai muttered as he swiveled the turret around, took aim at one of the three trucks following

them, and opened fired. The driver of the truck tried to avoid the incoming fire, but a lucky shot managed to bust through the windshield and clip the driver in the shoulder. This caused the driver to swerve and run into a large Stinging Cactus. Although both the impact and the discharge of the cactus didn't destroy the truck, everyone in it was either knocked out or killed by the electrical shock emitted from the plant.

Kai didn't even have time to think about his accomplishment as several tracers whizzed by his head. He looked over to the other Bandit Technical that was painted blue with a catapult turret and saw it throw something at them. "Incoming!" Kai yelled as he ducked to avoid an explosive barrel that flew over his head, missing him by mere centimeters. The barrel landed in front of the runner and exploded causing the vehicle to pop into a wheelie as Kai yelled out in surprise, but the front quickly fell back down and they kept moving.

"What the hell are you doing back there man, that almost hit us!" yelled Reiss.

Kai popped back up and began firing at a blue Technical with several Psycho midgets in the rear. He quickly manages to hit two of the midgets, knocking them out of the truck. After several more seconds of concentrated fire on the hood of the truck, it exploded and flew off the side of the road.

Just then the two Technical's that blocked them off before had caught up with the last technical.

"Great... hey Reiss, how we doing man?" Kai yelled as he kept firing.

"Well, I think you might want to hang on. As Scooter would say, things are about to get extreme." He yelled back.

"What are you talking-"

Kai didn't even finish when turned and saw the cliff they were rapidly approaching. "Reiss what hell are you doing!...Reiss!... REIIIISSSSSS!" Kai yelled as Reiss activated the Runner's boost and they flew off the cliff edge.

Kai kept screaming in panic for several seconds while Reiss was laughing like a madman. Kai didn't stop screaming until he suddenly felt the impact of the Runner landing on another cliff across the canyon. Their Runner skidded to a stop; both Kai and Reiss looked back to see that they had only just barely made it across, and judging from the tire tracks in the snow that started it only half a meter from the edge of the cliff. Just then, the three remaining Bandit trucks chasing them flew off the cliff on the opposite side at full speed. Only, their truck's were too heavy and didn't have the speed needed, so they fell short and either impacted the cliff or fell into the canyon; screaming and yelling profanities all the way to their doom.

Kai got out of the Runner and walked over to the edge and looked over, the canyon was about 50 meters across and was easily over 200 meters to the bottom. He could see the now burning and crushed Bandit technicals littering the bottom. He looked back to Reiss who had gotten out of the runner, even though he still had his helmet on, Kai could tell he was trying to hold in his laughter.

"You knew about this, didn't you," Kai said as Reiss finally busted out laughing.

"You should have seen your face when we landed man, that was hilarious!" He said as Kai walked back to the Runner.

"Shut up man, that wasn't cool," Kai said as he started to work on pulling out one of several saw blades out of the Runner.

"Come on, we're alive aren't we, and we managed to take out five bandit trucks in the process. So what are you complaining about."

"You could have told me there was a cliff on the other side!" Kai yelled as he managed to yank out a saw blade and fling it into the chasm.

"Yeah I could have, but then it wouldn't have been as funny, and I got this awesome ECHO recording of it." He said as he held up an ECHO pad showing a replay of Kai's reaction. Kai was surprised by this. 'When and how did he manage to do that?' he thought.

Kai's surprise quickly turned to anger, until a thought came to mind and a sly grin crept across his face. He pulled Hati's photon emitter sphere and lightly tossed it in the air, and after a quick flash, Hati formed and landed next to Kai in his normal mode. "Hati," Kai said calmly as the wolf looked at him. "Fetch," Kai said as he pointed to the Echo Reiss was holding. Hati turned and began to growl at Reiss as his eyes turned red and he grew in size, shifting to attack mode.

Reiss began to slowly step back. "Oh crap," Reiss immediately booked it the other way, a second later Hati began to give chase, "DAMMIT KAI!" Reiss yelled as he ran for it. Kai just sat down on top of the runner and watched the show.

X-X-X

Three hours later the two friends managed to get back to Sanctuary and delivered the meds to Zed. So after reporting their mission's success to Roland, they decided to go get a meal at Moxxi's. "Still can't believe you had Hati chase me down." Said Reiss. Hati who was in his normal mode, or low power mode so that he can stay active in his physical form for longer periods, gave a bark as they walked into the bar. The bar, called Moxxxis Red Light was one of the larger buildings in Sanctuary, once they walked through the entrance there was a row of booth seats that wrapped around the front of the room and the left side with several standing tables spread about. On the right side was a stage with a Torgue brand karaoke/junkbox machine which was blasting music. Lining the walls all around the room where star shaped light which cycled through On the far wall from the main entrance was the bar with several skag skin seats lining the front of it. Of course that was the least of their focus at the moment.

As soon as they walk into the bar they both saw Moxxi, who was dealing with a rough looking customer. "Say that one more time, I dare you... sugar," she said to the man.

The man she was talking to was some local tough guy who would hang out at the bar every once in a while. All Kai knew about him was that he was an asshole who is so foul-mouthed that he makes a trash dump look more inviting, and that he had a mean left hook. "I said, you and those bitches you call waiters can all suck my big fat-" Before he could finish Moxxi grabbed the guy by his hair and slammed his face onto the bar top, then she lifted his head up to face her.

The man had a dazed look and was bleeding profusely from his nose, which was bent out of shape; he also had a good sized gash on his forehead. Moxxi inspected the damage and gave the man a smirk, "Oh dear... that looks like it hurts, here have a cold one... it will make you feel better." Moxxi grabbed an unopened beer bottle by the neck and pulled her arm back. With blaring speed Moxxi belts the man across his face with the bottle as it shattered from the force of the impact. The man is ripped out of her grip and falls to the floor in agony as the whole left side of his face started to bruise and bleed from several cuts. Moxxi, who still had the broken neck of the bottle in hand, leaned over the bar to inspect her work. "Well, got anything else to say, sugar?," she said in a sickly sweet tone as she pointed the broken bottle at the man.

The man merely moaned in pain. "I thought so, mouth off about me all you want but if you talk about my girls like that again, or ever dare touch them, I'll introduce you to Rubi," she said as she chucked the broken bottle into a trash can. It was only then that she noticed Kai, Reiss, and Hati standing nearby.

"Well hello boy's, are you having a good day?" She asked with a smile.

If one were to describe Moxxi, or in this case as Reiss would, she is the dream for the majority of men. She had ice green eyes and raven hair that reach to her shoulders, with part of her bang coming down covering her right eye, and She had on a heavy white makeup on her face with a hint of pink blush, and weirdly all of the makeup worked for her. She was wearing a short purple ring masters outfit with gold trimming that framed her hourglass figure and ample breasts, and showed a large amount of cleavage. It also had slits going up the hip which were high enough so it teasingly showed off a little bit of her underwear on her side. She had a matching top hat with several colored feathers in the rim, along with a queen of hearts playing card. She also had mismatched, thigh-high stockings with the right being a black fishnet and the left being black and white stripes thigh-high. She completed the outfit with a pair of white leather, high heeled boots.

One thing that always confused Kai was that since Moxxi always wore a heavy amount of makeup on her face, there was no way to really guess how old she actually is. But considering the hourglass shape of her body that most men would worship, and the fact she's had two kids who are both well into their twenties, if not older; Kai had to peg her to be somewhere around her mid 40's to mid 50's. Age aside though, Moxxi knew how to fight and inflict pain as she had just demonstrated.

"Hati bit me in the ass. Damn mutt," Reiss muttered the last part, which made Hati growl in an annoyed tone.

"Oh, come now," Moxxi said as she made her way from behind the bar. "How could anyone be so rude to someone with such a cute face." She said as she squatted down and gave Hati a good scratch behind his ears. "Who's a big killer, you are! Yes you are!"

"Okay Moxxi, don't spoil him. I swear if you could feed him you would be feeding him Rakk steaks and bullymong ribs every day." Kai said as he and Reiss took a seat at the bar.

"Well, the big boy deserves them after he ran out those ruffians that got far too frisky for their own good. Hati, you will always be my big, strong, powerful, hero." She said giving the prideful wolf a pat on the head before moving back behind the bar, only to stop halfway. "Hati, could you be a dear for me and drag the trash out," she asked as she motioned to the unconscious man on the floor. Hati gave a nod and bite the collar of the man jacket and slowly dragged him out to the street.

Moxxi turned back to Kai and Reiss with a smile. "So boys, what will it be this evening?"

"Rakk burger and a Maliwan black label." Reiss said. "Same, but a lemon soda," Kai said. Moxxi nodded called out the orders to one of her waiters and went back to work just as Hati came back in and sat down near Kai's feet.

"Thanks dear." She said sweetly to Hati.

"What did that guy do anyways?" Reiss asked.

"Oh Smith, he just got drunk again and started to harass my waiters. Just the usual, until he started to getting overly hands on with Abby. So as you boy's saw, I had a little "talk" with him." Moxxi said as she started cleaning the blood off the bar.

"Hows is Abigail, she isn't shaken up or anything?" Kai asked.

"She fine, I gave her the rest of the evening off though." she said as Moxxi got back to work.

Ten minutes later Moxxi served them their meals. "Eat up boys."

"Thanks!" They both responded.

Reiss pulled off his helmet so that he could eat. He had short blond hair and dark brown eyes. His face was a bit square but well proportioned with a small scar across his left cheek he got from a bandit during his time as a Crimson Lance soldier.

"Seriously man, why do you wear that helmet, all the time. I've been here for four months now and I only seen you take that thing off when you eat and sleep, hell sometimes you sleep with it on. Take that thing off more often, it's not like you're ugly or anything under there."

"I have to agree with Kai, you are a looker Reiss," Moxie said seductively with a hungry look in her eyes that made Reiss freeze up like a deer caught in the headlights. Moxie gave him a wink and a smile before she strutted off to the other end of the bar. Kai just chuckled at Reiss's reaction and went back to his burger.

X-X-X

They finished up and left Moxxi's soon after. As they were headed to their place for the evening Kai thought about some of the things that have happened since he first landed on this great big ball of death. After joining the Crimson Lance, Kai had little to no luck as a Vault Hunter. He tried doing research and tried to track down several leads about the vault's whereabouts with Tannis's help. So far he's had zero luck finding the Vault, and since Jack already brutally stole the vault key from Tannis several years before, there was nothing he could really do to ease his irritation.

As a Crimson Raider, however, Kai has been making a name for himself with the people of Sanctuary, amongst Hyperion, and several bandit gangs. He had even gotten a bounty put on his head from Hyperion for trespassing, theft, assassination of Hyperion employees, destruction of corporate property, and vandalism. The bounty itself is worth fifty-five billion credits, which is not bad according to Roland. Reiss had also managed to acquire a bounty himself worth fifty billion.

Reiss and Kai have both been running raids together on Hyperion convoys, weapon depots, and even a prison break to free several members of the Crimson Raiders during the last few months, as well as ran the occasional odd jobs for the people of Sanctuary. During that time he and Reiss had become good friends. Reiss had even let him stay in the extra bedroom he had at his place, especially after Reiss heard that Tannis had been trying to take apart Hati's holo-matrix while he was staying at HQ.

Since Reiss was one of the first people to scout and cleared Sanctuary after everyone evacuated New Haven after the Wilhelm incident, he and several others got first dibs on claiming space. So he chose one of the small tower apartments at the town's center across from the command center. It was a small two-floor unit, with the kitchen and a small den on the first level and two bedrooms and a shared bath on the top, apart from a slight draft issue with the buildings heat system and the need for a fresh coat of paint, it wasn't too bad.

Despite the age difference, Reiss and Kai had become good friends during their time working together. Actually, Moxxi described their relationship to be more like brothers than just friends, of course when you're fighting man-eating wildlife, bloodthirsty bandits out to kill anyone not as crazy as them, and a tyrannical CEOs with a nearly endless supply of killer robots that he's able to drop down anywhere on the planet in a line of sight to Helios, it helps to forge such friendships.

They finally got home and immediately Reiss sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to Bossanova's Murder Rally. Hati went over and sat down next to him to watch as well. Kai on the other hand, went to get out of his gear and grab a shower. About twenty minutes later, after he had finished his show and changed into something more relaxing, he grabbed his tool kit from his room and came back downstairs, and took a seat at the small kitchen table.

"Hey Reiss, let me look at your gun, you mentioned during the ride back earlier that it was jamming up some."

Reiss pulled out and tossed him a Blue grade Dahl React SMG with a fire element that Kai caught and quickly began disassembling. About an hour later, Kai was finished with the repairs and was starting to reassemble the gun when his ECHO chimed with a notification. Kai looked at his ECHO and saw it was an alert that Gaige was about to start an ECHO cast in a few minutes.

"Is that another ECHOcast alert form that Mechro what's-her-name that you been cyberstalking?" Reiss said.

Kai frowned at the comment. "It's not cyberstalking if I'm just watching/following her channel," he retorted not even looking up at him.

"But you are chatting with her after almost every one of her ECHO shows, that's stalking in my book." Reiss counter.

"Says the guy who follows all of Moxxi's late-night ECHO shows, and has them all recorded on that old toaster you call a computer AND follows all of her social media pages."

"Uuugh, how do you-," he started to ask.

"You had me remove several viruses from your computer last month, remember. You've haven't deleted your browser history in months man," Kai said as he glanced at Reiss with a sly grin. "You are into some kinky shit." Reiss just smiled and chuckled sheepishly, as Kai looked back to the SMG.

"So when are you going to ask Moxxi out, ever since she found out what you really look like underneath that helmet she's been doing nothing but dropping hint after hint around you man. She's basically carpet-bombing the innuendos at this point" Kai asked.

"Yeah, I've noticed. It's just, how do you even approach a woman like her?"

Kai looked back at him. "You're asking me about dating advice? Reiss, you do realize that I've spent most of my life-fighting in not one, but two separate resistance movements since I was nine. What makes you think I have any experience in asking out a woman, especially one like Moxxi."

"Sorry, didn't know why I asked, but I still want to know why you follow that girl's ECHOcast and then chat with her," Reiss asked as he turned to look at him.

After a moment Kai just leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Well, for starters, I consider her a good friend, or pen pal at least. The second reason I listen and chat with her is because… because she talks about her life often... the type of life that I will never be able to have. My life has revolved around fighting for so long that I don't even know if it's possible for me to have a normal life. But when I listen to her it gives... gave me hope. Hearing Gaige talks about her "average" life on a peaceful planet has always given me a bit of hope that I might be able to have a peaceful life like that outside of all this. All the fighting, all of the battles, and the destruction and death, a chance to be normal." he said with a small smile.

Then Kai's face darkened a little "Of course, now my home is nothing more than a lifeless wasteland, and I now live on one of the most hostile planets in the known universe; so now it just a dream, all because of what that bastard did," Kai said quietly as his mind went back to that day filled with screams.

"Kai… Kai… KAI!"

"What!?" Kai said as he was shaken out of his thoughts and looked up to Reiss and Hati, who were both staring at him with worried looks. "You okay man, you locked up for a minute there?"

"Yeah. I- I'm fine. I just got lost in…"

"Lost in "that" memory again." Reiss finished.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You don't need to say sorry brother. Just remember, it wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, I know… it's just-"

"Kai! It wasn't your fault, now go listen to your damn ECHOcast before I beat the guilt out of you," Reiss said as he held up a fist as Hati barked in agreement.

Kai paused for a few seconds then nodded, then snapped the last few pieces of the SMG together.

"There, that should fix the jamming issue, also I oiled it and cleaned it," Kai said as he tossed the gun back to Reiss and got up.

"Awesome, it was about time for me to clean it, thanks."

"Alright, well I'll see you in the morning. Come on Hati."

Hati and Kai left for the stairs as Reiss sat back down on the couch. "Hey, Reiss." He looked back over to Kai. "Thanks man."

"No problem, now get out of here, I'm trying to watch the race."

Kai went to his room quickly after that and climb into bed with Hati curled up at his feet. He tuned his ECHO pad (Note: ECHO pads are like ECHO devices, but they look like a small tablet.) to Gaige's, or as she called herself, Mechormancer's ECHO channel and watched the countdown clock till the show started. After about two minutes the counter finally reached zero and a "LIVE" icon popped up in the corner with a picture of Gaige encompassing the screen.

The image showed a headshot of a teenage girl with fair skin, emerald green eyes, and short, copper red hair tied into short pigtails with what appeared to be a pair of clamped rubber hoses. She also had a set of work goggles sitting on her head with gold-tinted lenses and a collar/choker made of leather with nuts and bolts used as studs sticking out of it. One could say Gaige was trying to pull off some kind of cute grease monkey/punk rocker look.

Gaige: " _Hello, subscribers!" a notification beep in the background. "Uh-mmmh, both of you. Hmph._ "

Kai frowned at this, he knew that Gaige had been losing more viewers lately, but he didn't think it would get this bad, he felt bad for her. Gaige's subscriber count peaked at about 122 about a year and a half ago, but ever since a particular five-hour long rant about how Marcie was a not good toad-faced lying bitch, the number has steadily declined. It was actually pretty funny in his opinion, but he suspected someone was using that to slander her.

Gaige: " _The science fair approaches, and I've got more updates. I just started work on the third revision of the DT project, and while I was tinkering, I sliced my arm with some sheet metal – not a big cut, it barely goes like, halfway to the bone - and it occurred to me, I could just jet the wound with an Insta-Health and get back to circumventing the Turing chip with a Hecker circuit re-integrator, OR I could kill two birds with one stone. See, I could never figure out a good method to quick-summon the DT, but as blood began to spurt from my forearm, I realized it: a cybernetic limb!_ "

Both Hati and Kai looked at each other with "Say what!?" expressions on their faces.

Gaige: " _I could program all of DT's digistruct data into one robotic arm, and use that to summon DT at any time, any place! So I figured, what the heck, and I sliced off the rest of my arm with a particle saw._ "

Kai just faces palmed himself. "Hati, it official, She's crazy," Kai said as Hati barked in agreement.

Gaige: " _And my dad's all like, "Uhh! Ohh! Uhh!" And blood's like, going everywhere. But a few hours and a few pints of blood later, and I built a metal arm strong enough to smash concrete!_ "

The sound of concrete being smashed could be heard in the background.

Gaige: " _Ha ha ha! Yes! So metal! Oh, and I'm trying to do devil horns with my robot arm right now, but it not really working right now because like… fingers… it's a… whatever… Point is, Marcie and her stupid fusion reactor are not going to have–_ "

The sound of a notification chimed in the background.

Gaige: " _What the hell? Sorry, my newsfeed just picked up an article with Marcie's name on it. Yuellaghh~. UHH. "Local student Marcie Halloway has made a technological breakthrough which will change the face of law enforcement forever." Hm no, I don't think so. "Her new invention, which she calls the Crime Buster Bot" – wait, WHAT? Uh, hello, that is my design. HOH! Marcie ripped off my science fair project idea! Okay, no. "Crime Buster bot will use digistructing claws, thermo-sonic lasers, and quantum duplication to help law enforcement agencies subdue dangerous criminals"?! Marcie, what the hell?! She completely ripped off MY DT design, except… instead of using it to stop bullying, she's giving it to the galaxy's most corrupt police force! Marcie! You are such a_ ( Kai and Hati wince as they heard the sound of glass and other things being smashed ) _DAARGH! You complete tool! And the name, that name sucks! "Crime Buster Bot"? Bitch, are you kidding me!?_ "

The sound of a door opening in the background could be heard, Kai figured it had to be her dad.

Gaige's Father: " _What going on in here? I can hear you from across the house._ "

Gaige: " _Dad, now is not a good time._ "

Gaige's Father: " _Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, why don't you-_ "

Gaige: " _Marcie Halloway ripped off my robot's design, used them to build fascist security bots for the cops, and now she's going to try to win the science fair with MY IDEA!_ "

Gaige's Father: " _Oh… You're going to take that bitch down, right?_ "

Gaige: " _You're damn right! I'm going to upgrade my bot, and I'm going to win the heck out of that science fair! It is SO ON!_ "

Gaige's Father: " _That's the spirit! You put your mind toward your little DT project, Marcie won't stand a chance._ "

Gaige: " _Don't call him DT anymore, dad. His name…_ ( the distinct sound of a digistruct summon was suddenly heard in the background. ) … _is Deathtrap_."

The ECHOcast ended as Kai leaned back. "Well, that was interesting."

Hati gave Kai a deadpan look. "Alright fine, it was crazy, but you can't blame her for going all rage mode there, her project was ripped off by her mortal rival. Hell, if someone stole your designs and made a crappy copy version of your program, it'd be an insult to…" Hati's face drooped in memory.

"Sorry boy, it's still too soon I guess."

Kai glanced down at his ECHO pad and decided that maybe he should check up on her. Kai pulled up his contacts, which now consisted of only about a dozen people, and selected Gaige's contact, and sent a chat room invite.

X-X-X

Gaige was cleaning up the mess she made in her room from her destructive outburst when she heard another alert on her computer. "Great, what did Marcie do now?" Gaige said as she drops some trash in the trash can, and went over to her computer to see it wasn't her news feed, but a private chat room invite, from. . . R3bel_Wolf! Out of all the subscribers she's ever had R3bel_Wolf was the only one she ever regularly stayed in contact with and is one of her only two remaining subscribers. She immediately sat down, accepted the invite and began typing.

Mechromancer: Wolf! How are you doing?

R3bel_Wolf: I should be asking you the same thing after that ECHOcast.

Mechromancer: Oh, you heard that?

R3bel_Wolf: I think half of this galaxy heard you. My ears are still ringing by the way.

Mechromancer: : P

R3bel_Wolf: Don't you go giving me that face.

Mechromancer: Ha, ha, make me!

R3bel_Wolf: Fine, if you're going to be this rude I might as well take my leave, good night.

'Oh shit' Gaige thought. Up until about five months ago Wolf and her would chat after a show or play online games together about 2-3 times a week, but then he just went offline out of the blue. For the next two months Gaige didn't hear anything from him, when he finally did come back online he just seemed a little... lost. It was as if some part of him was taken or he lost something. They still would chat, but it not as often as they use too, so to have him up and leave made Gaige freak out a little.

Mechromancer: NOOOOOO! Don't leave a girl in need.

R3bel_Wolf: Oh, you "need" me? Mech, I didn't know you thought of me like that. ; )

Mechromancer: What!? NO, NO, NO, that not what I meant!

R3bel_Wolf: Ha, ha.

Mechromancer: You asshole.

R3bel_Wolf: Ha, I'm a wolf, what did you expect. Anyways, I heard you have been having issues with patent infringement from the local competition.

Mechromancer: Please don't remind me about that bitch. I'm just so pissed! She just has daddy buy her everything she wants, and she just wants to make my life miserable. To her, I'm just a plaything.

R3bel_Wolf: She is just a sad little idiot who has to make herself feel important by putting other people down, but at the end of the day, she can't even lift a finger without her daddy paying someone to do it for her. Whereas you are able to fend for yourself and you are a hundred times smarter than she'll ever be.

Mechromancer: Thanks, Wolf, you always know just how to cheer a girl up.

R3bel_Wolf: It's what I do, but now I have to ask, was it really necessary to for you to chop off your whole arm!? Don't you think that was a little extreme?

Mechromancer: Hey I needed to incorporate that summoning rod somehow. Plus I can smash concrete now, FUCKING CONCRETE!

R3bel_Wolf: But couldn't you have just made a glove with the emitter built into it, and just have the main unit strapped to your back in a small pack. It would have been easier to maintain and you could have kept the arm.

Gaige stared at the screen and reread what Reb3l just typed and thought about it. 'Is that even possible? It actually is a fairly simple idea when you think about it. Sure I would have to miniaturize the emitter somehow but aside from that. . .' "Shit," she said to no one, "I hate it when he is right."

Mechromancer: Why is it that you always make things easier "after" I have done it the hard way.

R3bel_Wolf: Because you're a jump first ask questions later type of girl when it comes to science and badassery.

Mechromancer: . . .

R3bel_Wolf: Oh quit your pouting, you know it true.

Mechromancer: I'm not pouting!

R3bel_Wolf: Yes you are, I can see it in your text.

Mechromancer: Why do you do that to me?

R3bel_Wolf: Cause it's fun.

Mechromancer: I really hate you sometimes.

R3bel_Wolf: But not all the time.

Mechromancer: Ugh, you can be too much, you know that? Whatever, besides I need to come up with some new tech for Deathtrap.

R3bel_Wolf: Right, by the way, love the new name for DT. It will definitely strike fear into those who cross his path. As for upgrades, I vote nuclear missiles.

Mechromancer: Woah, nuclear missiles, are you crazy. I'm trying to impress the judges not incinerate them.

R3bel_Wolf: Then explain the laser eye you gave Deathtrap.

Mechromancer: Shut up, but seriously, I need some ideas.

Gaige spent the next hour going over several ideas with R3bel_Wolf to improve Deathtrap. She knew from past chats that Wolf wasn't a scientist like herself, but he was still smart and knew his way around an SDU and several other pieces of tech. Eventually, after an hour of brainstorming, they both admitted to being too tired to stay awake.

R3bel_Wolf: Time to clock out for the night.

Mechromancer: Yeah, I still have school tomorrow, yeaaaaa.

R3bel_Wolf: Well that sounds like fun.

Mechromancer: What, you're not going to school?

R3bel_Wolf: As my name also implies, I'm a rebel.

Gaige smiled as a devious plan started to form in her mind, she just has to set it up right.

Mechromancer: Ooooh, so you're a rebellious bad boy, me like.

R3bel_Wolf: Okay, down girl, but seriously with what I do, school isn't much of an option.

Mechromancer: What do you do then?

R3bel_Wolf: AH, NO! School night. Bed. Sleep.

Mechromancer: Oh come on, not even a tiny hint, you never tell me anything about yourself. : (

R3bel_Wolf: You! Bed! Now!

Mechromancer: R3bel! I didn't realize you were so bold! I don't know what to say, this is so sudden.

Wolf didn't respond for the next several seconds.

R3bel_Wolf: WHAT!?

R3bel_Wolf: NO NO NO! That not what I meant!

R3bel_Wolf: I wasn't even thinking about that!

Mechromancer: So what does that mean, you don't like me. Did you ever like me?

R3bel_Wolf: WHAT! Of course I like you.

Mechromancer: You do, that mean you do love me.

R3bel_Wolf: WHAT!

R3bel_Wolf: Gaige, where did is this coming from!

R3bel_Wolf: What with the sudden escalation.

The messages suddenly stopped and for about a minute, he didn't type anything else. Gaige was about to ask if he was still there when she got a response.

R3bel_Wolf: Wait a minute.

R3bel_Wolf: Are you pulling my leg…

Mechromancer: . . . . Maybe. : P

R3bel_Wolf: GAIGE!

Mechromancer: HA, HA! I wish I could see your face right now. You must be steaming from your ears!

R3bel_Wolf: Just go to bed already. I think I'm getting a headache.

Mechromancer: Fine, I had my fill of laughter at your expense anyways.

R3bel_Wolf: Yay for you…

Mechromancer: Alright, well I'm going to bed. Night Wolf, thanks for the help.

R3bel_Wolf: No problem, have a good night.

Mechromancer: BTW, -100 Badass points from you! Bye.

Gaige closed the chat before Wolf could reply with a rebuttal, as she laughed at a mental image of someone cursing out at his computer, considering what she just did. She and Wolf would play this little game between one another. If someone won a match or did something awesome they would earn several or more Badass points, if they did something stupid or embarrassing, they would lose some points. To lose such a large amount would certainly make him mad. Currently, the score stood at 7625 for Gaige and 7610 for Wolf after his recent point reduction, meaning Gaige was in the lead.

After she finally managed to calm down, Gaige decided to get ready for bed. Fifteen minutes later she was laying in bed thinking about her day, but her thoughts kept coming back to her friend R3bel_Wolf. She had been chatting with him for about 4 years now. At first she thought he was nothing more than an overly interested fan of hers or a cyberstalker at worst, so she decided to air on the side of caution for a while, a whole year in fact. She finally started taking him seriously after he helped her modify an SDU so that it could store food at cold temperatures, turning her modified lunchbox into a handheld refrigerator.

So after that, Gaige began chatting with Wolf more often. He never gave her his real name or even told her what planet he lives on, claiming it was too dangerous if anyone knew of it. She even started to randomly trying to guess his name about a year ago, she had gotten through most of the H's so far. All that she really knew was that Wolf was a boy, considering certain things he would say in their chat, he was at least 18-20 years old, and lives on a planet somewhere in the Vega Cluster on one of the smaller colonies there. He's also fairly smart, most of his knowledge seems to relate to weapons, but he also knew how to encrypt data, repurpose SDU's, and to a certain extent encode an AI. It was actually with his help that Gaige was able to create a good base code for Deathtraps custom OS.

The bottom line, though, was that Wolf was still mostly a mystery to her. They shared the same interests, she could have serious discussions with him, talk about the latest episode of some show, share funny videos they each would found, and talk about theoretical uses for AI and robot design; they would even play together online games. He also seems to know just what to do or say to make her feel better when she was feeling down.

"Uuuugh" Gaige moaned, 'I'm starting to act like one of those love-struck teenagers from one of those sappy teen cyborg, ninja, vampire romance novels,' Gaige thought. 'But then again, what girl could resist a little mystery? I honestly hope I can meet the real Wolf, someday,' she thought before she drifted to sleep.


	3. Birds of a Feather

It was a late evening at about the twilight period as some Pandoran's called it, and the stars were slowly creeping out in the sky above. As always, Pandora's only moon Elpis was high above, giving off a soft glow on the forest in the valley below as it's light was mixed in with the oranges, blues, and purples in the lightly clouded sky. It would have been a beautiful and scenic sight if not for two things, the first being the sight of Helios Station, Hyperion's giant H-shaped space station that has been sitting in front of Elpis for the last few years. The station equipped with a Moonshot cannon as Roland said they called it, was mainly meant for Planetside supply drops, but it could also be used to launch either pods with Loaders in them to any point on the surface of Pandora that was out in the open, or just be loaded with an orbital strike round to blow up any unshielded position. It was also just a constant reminder of Hyperion's presence on the planet, and an eyesore.

The other reason was that there was a Hyperion research and supply base in the middle of the forested valley which tarnished the incredible view. The only other thing that could be said about the ruined scene was the sound of two guys quietly talking in a small camouflaged foxhole.

"So she just cut it off without a second thought?" Reiss asked.

"Yup. Of course, she now has a badass robotic arm that can crush concrete. She built it herself, too." Kai paused for a second as he stared through his sniper scope.

"Surveyor drone crossing in front to your right, it's starting to get a little close, you got it?" Reiss glanced up from his scope then re-aimed his corrosive Maliwan sniper rifle. "Yeah, I see it." A few seconds later he squeezed off a round which blew the drone's right wing off. They watched it plummet down in a death spiral straight into the river 40 meters below them.

It had been about a week since Kai last chatted with Gaige, and he and Reiss were currently overlooking the Hyperion research and supply base from a clifftop about a kilometer away. Roland and a dozen other Crimson Lance soldiers were currently raiding the base to steal a shipment of weapons that came in on a transport earlier while Kai and Reiss were providing sniper cover for Roland and his team when they finished inside the base and had to make their escape. So, for now, they were just talking to pass the time as they waited in their little outpost, which they had been camping in for the last three days until they were needed.

"Good kill, and the rest of the base has yet to be alerted from the looks of it." Kai said.

"Must mean Roland and the others have already scrambled the bases comm network." Reiss said. He then glanced at Kai. "So, when are you gonna ask her out."

Kai sighed and shoved Reiss in the shoulder as he laughed. "Not funny man, how many times do I have to tell you, it's not like that. Even if I asked her, too, no sane person would leave life on another planet like Eden 5 to move to Pandora, just for a date. The only people who come to this death trap willingly are adventures, runaways, and criminals. I would never ask that of someone, especially someone who already has a good life, even if they don't think it a good one."

"Yeah, can't blame you there, I would never want to bring anyone I knew to this hell hole if I could help it. It's bad enough with the wasteland environments and the dangerous wildlife always trying to kill you, but then you add in Hyperion, Psychos and all the crazy people here who would rather shoot you than give you the time of day? Forget it." Reiss said as he looked back through the scope of his rifle.

They laid there for a minute quietly 'til Reiss spoke up, "But you do like her though, right?" He asked, as Kai just sighed. Suddenly, there was an explosion at the rear of the base that caused a chain reaction as several large fuel tanks at the rear of the complex exploded and took out a Hyperion supply barge that was parked on a landing pad.

"Well, I guess that the signal." Kai said, "Subtle."

" _Eagle's Nest to Crow's Nest, are you guys ready?_ " came Mordecai's voice over their ECHO's. He and another Crimson raider by the name of Samson who was one of the few people in Sanctuary with any formal sniper training were in a position about 700 meters to the right of Kai and Reiss's position on the cliff, creating a crossfire coverage of the base.

"We're ready to go." Reiss responded. "Just slag them and we'll knock 'em dead."

Kai looked down the sight of a Vladof sniper that Mordecai had lent to him for the operation. Of course, Kai had modified it without asking him. Instead of firing at full-auto, he had modified it so that it could be set to semi-automatic. While this doesn't change its base performance, it did mean that the rifle was now much easier to control and aim. Of course, if he needs to Kai could still switch it to full-auto with just a flip of the safety.

Just then they heard Roland's voice came over the ECHO, "Eagle, Crow's Nests, we got enemies following us, prepare to provide covering fire!"

" _You boys heard the man. Open fire_." Mordecai chimed in as he started to open fire with a Slag sniper rifle, hitting multiple enemies around the base. Reiss, Samson, and Kai started to fire on any of the Loaders and armed Hyperion Combat Engineers that Mordecai had slagged but not killed in the first shot.

" _Crow's Nest, I lost sight of an engineer with a rocket launcher near the Eridium pipes, do you see him?_ " Samson asked over the ECHO.

"I don't see him, do you?" Reiss asked. As Kai scanned the area with his scope he noticed a blur of yellow moving by some crates.

He zoomed in and saw that a Combat Engineer had climbed up onto a supply container and was lining up a shot at one of the trucks being loaded. Without thinking, Kai aimed, squeezed the trigger, and fired, watching as the bullet entered into the engineer's neck several seconds later. The force caused the engineer to spin around and drop the launcher as blood started flowing from his neck as he tried to grasp his neck and stop the bleeding. In a frenzied panic he took a step back too far and fell off the crate.

"Got him." Kai spoke up.

" _Good shot Crow two._ " Mordecai said. The number of targets quickly diminished after that, and the Raids quickly began loading the crates onto the trucks they were stealing from the motor pool.

"Well, it looks like we're almost done here guys." Kai said over his ECHO. Just then, Reiss noticed something on the horizon coming straight towards the base.

"Oh shit." Reiss muttered.

Kai looked to where Reiss was looking and saw several JET Loaders coming in to make an attack run on Roland and his team who were in the open as they were loading the trucks. " _Oh, son of a... you had to jinx it, Crow two! I'm going to fucking punch you after this!_ " Mordecai said.

"Fine, fine, shoot now, blame later!" Kai yelled as he and Reiss started to concentrate fire on the first two Loaders. Kai shot at the first one and managed to hit it and knock it off its attack run, but it didn't go down and instead peeled off, leaving a smoke trail as it left. The next one Reiss shot at and hit on the side of its torso. It tried to peel off but the acid-coated round quickly caused it too much internal damage as it tried to pull away. It engines suddenly flamed out causing the Loader to fall and crash into the ground a few seconds later in a very satisfying explosion.

The next wave consisted of three Jet Loaders, which Mordecai and Samson quickly started to fire at. Mordecai destroyed the first two in quick succession, while his partner nailed the last one after firing two rapid shots. The one Kai had missed landed and took cover, but that was the least of their problems. " _Moonshot, incoming!_ " Samson yelled on the comms.

They both looked up to see three moonshot pods come roaring down from the sky and impact in the middle of the compound. As the dust cleared, the first two pods released WAR Loaders, but as for the third one...

" _What the hell is that thing!?_ " Reiss said. It looked like a Badass Loader, but it was nearly twice the size of one and had three auto-cannons on each arm clustered into a set around the shoulder joint. Unlike all other Loaders, this one had a head on top of its torso that looked like an armor-plated box with a single red eye. Also, instead of the normal Hyperion yellow paint job, it was mostly painted green with a yellow stripe going vertically across its front, and several white stripes banded around the ends of each barrel. The last thing to note was that it looked as though there were several extra armor plates tacked onto several different parts of its body.

It suddenly crouched into a steadied stance and the auto-cannon pods expanded. It then began to fire at several Raiders including Roland. The shots barely missed them as they all scrambled for any cover they could find. The shots, however, found a home into the side of a small cargo truck, causing it to explode in a shower of burning shrapnel that rained down on those nearby. The ECHO was suddenly filled with screaming as one of the Raids, from what Kai could see, had a large piece of steel going through his left shoulder pinning him to the crate he was hiding behind. The new Loader had effectively cut Roland and several others off from everyone else.

" _STAY DOWN PEOPLE!_ " Kai heard Roland yell on the comms. Just then there was a burst of static on the comms, and then he spoke.

" _Hey kiddos, guess who! No, wait, I'll give you all a few hints considering how small your brains are. I'm incredibly smart, extremely rich, and I am the single most handsome man in the universe!_ "

" _Handsome Jack_." Roland spit out the name with venom.

" _Ha, ha, that right, it "meee"! I see you and your gang of boy scouts have met RD's latest toy, they called it the Super Badass Loader. Yeah I know, it's not all that clever, but we're going to making like, a million of these guys, so you know, what's the point. Oh and also, you're going to be dead soon anyway. Fun fact, this particular unit was a late prototype model with more armor than the final production version. I figured hell, why let a sweet ass weapon sit in some storage container when I could use it to rid myself of a damn thorn in my side. So have fun Roland_." Jack said with a cynical voice at the end.

" _Dammit! Stay in cover everyone! All sniper teams, nail that thing!_ " Roland shouted on the comm.

Roland and his team couldn't seem to damage the new Loader, they couldn't even damage the eye, which on previous models had been a big weak point. Adding to the fact that there are already two badass loaders flanking it, making it near impossible for anyone to take a shot, as they would cut down anyone who tried.

Those on the sniper teams weren't having much luck either, as neither team could get any clean shots, plus it didn't appear to have any weak points, as all the normal weak points seem to have been reinforced. Mordecai groaned in frustration, " _Ahh DAMMIT! Roland, we don't have any good shots, and I don't think any of us have anything powerful enough to punch through that armor_."

" _Let's try this then!_ " Yelled one of the Raiders on the infiltration team. Kai could see a man run out from cover hefting a Torgue rocket launcher.

" _Mitch, NO!_ " Roland yelled, but Mitch had stopped in front of the Loader and quickly took aim. The raider fired twice at only 20 meters away and both shots nailed the massive Loader square in the face causing it to stagger back. Kai could hear Mitch give a triumphant cheer over the ECHO. But as the smoke quickly cleared, the Super Badass Loader could be seen already picking itself back up with only minor scorch marks on it.

" _Oh crap_." Mitch said, as the Loader aimed at him.

" _MITCH, RUN!_ " Roland yelled, but it was too late. The Loader opened fired and was turning Mitch into mincemeat in a matter of seconds as everyone else watched in horror. In the span of five seconds, all that was left of Mitch was a massive pile of blood and chunks of flesh spread out all along the ground, while the Loader with its six smoking gun barrels just turned away to find another target.

" _DAMMIT! Is there anything we have that can stop this thing?!_ " Roland yelled.

Kai thought about it for several seconds then he began promoting a special command on his HUD, but he still needed some help. " _Roland, I might have a solution but I need you to get that bucket of bolts to look in my direction. Hit it when it stops firing. It looks like this thing suffers from the same barrel overheating issue that the regular WAR Loaders suffer from_."

" _Kai, what are you planning?_ " Mordecai asked.

"Sir, just do it, please, there's no time to explain. I need you to slag that bot on my mark." Kai said on the comm.

" _Alright kid, but if this plan goes sideways-_ "

"It won't, trust me." Kai said as he readied to shoot.

Roland and two other raiders flanked to their left around several supply crates 'til they were behind several large pipe pieces. They waited until the Super Badass Loader had to cool it barrels after firing. When it finally did, they began firing on the two other WAR Loaders. The closest one was shot apart piece by piece, starting with the guns, then they shot out its leg servos, causing it to collapse under its own weight. The other one started to fire on them but Roland threw a grenade that managed to stick to the Loader's front just to the right of the eye. Three seconds later the grenade exploded, sending the bot to the ground.

Kai activated the command which, thanks to a "Large" amount of techno wizardry, caused the next round in his sniper rifle to charge as the barrel started to glow green with corrosive energy and give off a low hum. Kai looked and saw the Super Badass Loader turning towards Roland and the other Raiders with him, which in turn made it face in Kai's direction.

"Now Mordecai!" Kai yelled.

The hunter fired off several shots from his rifle that effectively doused the SB Loader with slag. A few seconds later Kai fired a single shot that left a glowing green trail as it flew 'til it nailed the Super Badass Loader dead center of its chest. Thanks to the effects of slag, which weakens whatever it touches, the bullet was able to pierce the armor. A second later the bullet exploded, causing the Loader to suddenly lurch back from the force as a small part of its chest was blown open, the acid from the bullet beginning to dissolve everything it touched. The Loader then began to shudder violently as it's internal components were being eaten away and causing irreversible damage, a fact that became apparent as white smoke started to spew from several points on its body. A few seconds later it starts lumbering aimlessly around the area as if it were drunk, and nearly tripping a few times.

" _WHAT?! What are you doing you piece of junk! What the freakin matter you!?_ " Jack screamed.

"It dying plastic man, isn't it obvious?" Kai replied with a grin.

The comm was silent for a moment, 'til he heard Jake's voice seeping with rage. " _I know you! You're that damn Polarion piece of shit that's been causing my men so much trouble for the last four months. I should have known that was you're doing. Still using that Armor Buster tech you got, I see._ "

"Well, if it helps to make your life miserable then why wouldn't I use it? By the way, I'm not very impressed by your new toy, it breaks way too easily, just like all of your other toys." Kai said with a cheeky grin.

" _Haha, I swear, you kids today, acting like bandits, vault hunting, causing mischief and mayhem. Well go ahead, give yourself a nice pat on the back. You may have won today, but I'll end you just like I did the rest of your comrades back on Polaris!_ " he said as his tone got dark.

Kai froze for a second, not in fear, but anger as he thought about all the things that man had done to him. Suddenly, he felt someone grab his shoulder. He looked to see Reiss staring at him with a concerned look. Kai nodded to him, a little shaken but still good.

"Wow Jack, you killed a planet full of people who only wanted to make a fresh start, have families, and live a peaceful life without worry. How does it feel to have stacked yourself up next to history's greatest tyrants?"

" _Woah woah woah, I'm no-_ "

Before Jack could continue Kai interrupted. "Hati, playback please."

After a second of static everyone on the comms heard a dark voice " _You may have won today, but I'll end you just like I did the rest of your comrades back on Polaris!_ " There was silence for next several seconds.

"Yeah, just keep trying to convince yourself, facelift." Kai said with a smile as he activated a special program on his ECHO that started to jam Jack's signal.

" _Why you little, I-I-_ " His voice started to overlap and got distorted as static soon took over and blocked Jack out.

"Let me guess, you just used the program again?" Reiss asked.

"Yup."

"You gotta get me a copy of that program, man." Reiss said.

"I'll make you one later. Hey, Roland, you good down there?" Kai called on the ECHO

" _We're good, we're just loading up the wounded and the last of the guns now_." Suddenly everyone hears someone yell "Moonshots" in the background. Kai looked up towards Helios station and could see several dozen projectiles coming in fast. " _Right, forget the rest of the guns people, we're moving out now! Sniper teams, bug out, and meet at the rendezvous point_."

" _Got it, Roland, see you back at base._ " Mordecai chimed in. " _Reiss, Kai, get to your extraction point and we'll pick you guys up_."

Kai and Reiss quickly gathered their gear and began making their way through the forest. It took several minutes but they finally managed to arrive at an old dirt road. About three minutes later, Mordecai and Samson drove up in a Bandit Technical they had... acquired on their way here several days ago.

Mordecai, who was standing behind the driver's cab in the truck bed stood at about 189cm and had black hair that spiked out from the back of his head with a red bandana covering the rest. He had on a pair of green-tinted goggles he always wore that made it impossible to ever see his eyes and had a pointed beard that same color of hair. The rest of his attire consisted of… well, Kai wasn't really sure. He had on a tight short sleeve coat but it was mostly covered as his torso appeared to be wrapped in a red cloth, and on his right shoulder was a metal shoulder pad. He also had on an old pair of faded gray digi-camo pants, and strapped to his back was a sword in a leather scabbard.

Sitting on the roll cage of the driver's cab was Mordecai pet bird, Bloodwing. She had blood-red eyes and was covered in a mix of bluish-gray and white feathers and with all whitish-grey feathers around her head with a raptor-like beak. Her legs were long, very long, and each had several 2 cm long talons on each foot that could tear through steel like it was tissue paper, as Kai had seen first hand a month ago when Bloodwing mauled an armored Psycho.

Pvt. Samson was wearing the same type of Crimson Lance armor as Reiss, only his was painted in a forest digital camo pattern.

"Someone order a taxi?" Samson said cheerily from the driver's seat.

"You all should have called for an ambulance instead." Came a synthetic male voice from behind them.

Everyone looked behind them to see a Hyperion Hawk trooper wearing black armor with a pair of blood-soaked talons painted on the top of his helmet walk out of the woods. He was carrying a Tediore rocket launcher tucked under his left arm and a Hyperion pistol in the other hand aimed at them. Following him from the woods were three more Hawk troopers in normal Hyperion yellow. One had a Torgue assault rifle, the other two had Hyperion SMGs.

Everyone stared at the man silently for several seconds 'til Reiss spoke up. "Ugh, okay who the hell are you all, and what's with the get-up?"

Morde just let out a sigh"Guys, meet Hyperion collection and repossession officer 3512, AKA Zager, as well as being a collective pain in mine and Bloodwing's ass for the last 11 years." Mordecai said as Bloodwing gave an ear-splitting screech in anger.

"You too, Blood, now wait right there like a good prize." Zager said.

"Prize? Mordecai, what is he talking about?" Kai asked curiously.

"Zager here has been trying to steal Bloodwing from me ever since we first ran into each on Arpeggio II during one of my hunting expeditions. Zager likes to... Collect things during his jobs. Mementos of his jobs if you will. But he has never been able to get her, which has driven him mad, so he's been chasing me across half the known galaxy trying to kill me and steal my girl here."

"And today I finally get what I want, to kill you and take your bird. And just for the hell of if I'm going to kill the rest of you as well!" He yelled.

"Woah, Woah, time out, me and my friends here aren't involved in this little rivalry, grudge, whatever it is. So there is no need to go all trigger happy on everyone here, besides Mordecai." Kai said raising his hands.

Zager points the pistol at him, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you and your friends, minus Morde of course."

"Of course."

Kai saw Mordecai giving him a 'what the fuck' look, as was Samson, but Reiss didn't even flinch at his notion. 'It's good to have a friend who knows how you work.' Kai thought.

"Look, here's what I'll do. For our freedom, I will give you this." Kai pulled Hati's Holo sphere out. "This is a decoy projector. Once it scans you, it will project a 3D hologram image of you that will act as you have programmed it. You can even deploy it to fly around and it can be respawned after a short charge time. As for what you do with it, either give it to your boss for a nice bonus or keep it for yourself, it's all up to you. So what do you say, interested?"

Zager stared at it for several seconds. "Show me."

Kai smiled and lightly tossed the sphere into the air, there was a flash a second later and a large, angry, blue glowing wolf landed on top of a shocked Zager. "WHAT THE HELL!?" He yelled as Hati started digging into his armor with his claws and teeth as the other three Hawks looked on in shock as

they tried to figure out what to do, giving everyone else the distraction they needed.

"Come on, move it, we gotta go!" Yelled Mordecai as he jumped into the turret and started firing sawblades at the Hawk troopers. The troopers dodged the burning blades as Kai and Reiss quickly leaped up and climbed into the truck bed. Kai turned and whistled, Hati looked up and immediately ran back to him and jumped into the truck just as Samson gunned the accelerator and they tore off into the woods.

"KAI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Mordecai yelled.

"Personally, I would call that a well-executed distraction." Reiss said cheerfully.

Mordecai looked back to Kai. "Kai you no good, backstabbing, son of a bitch!" He said with anger in his face until his expression turned around as he began to laugh. "I'll work with you anytime, man." Morde said with a smile.

"Hey guys, I'd hate to ruin the moment buuut, we still have a problem." Samson said.

Everyone else looked back to see the three Hawks flying after them and quickly catching up. "We got them on the run now!" Yelled the lead Hawk.

"Crap." Said Reiss, as he pulled out his Dahl SMG while Kai pulled out a Torgue shotgun and Morde swiveled the turret around. They started firing away, but the Hawks were easily able to either dodge or tank the hits because of their shields.

"Hati! A little help!" Hati turned and opened his jaw towards the incoming Hawks, a small sphere of electricity quickly formed and fired from his mouth, leaving a blue trail. It flew out and was drawn to the nearest Hawk trooper. Upon hitting the Hawk, his shield broke. This was Hati's Mjölnir skill, which lets him launch a guided electro bolt at his target and deliver a hefty electrical shock. It also had a chance to stun the target and/or scramble any electronics for several seconds. This latter effect is what was currently affecting the Hawk as he tries to maintain control, but Mordecai took the opportunity and fired several saw blades at him. One blade struck and wedged itself into the Hawk's left leg, which further damaged his leg boosters and caused the Hawk to suddenly veer left and slam face first into a tree, causing an explosion of blood, guts, and fire.

"Good shot, Mordecai!" Reiss yelled. Kai took a second to assess the situation when he noticed something.

"Guys, where is Zager?" Kai asked.

Everyone suddenly heard the sound of another booster and felt something land on the truck. "Oh shit!" Yelled Samson in shock. Everyone turned to see Zager standing on the hood of the truck, his armor was now gouged in several places from Hati's earlier attack. He had also replaced the rocket launcher with a two-sided short sword he had drawn. At the same time, two more Hawk troopers flew over and joined ranks with the remaining two.

"Son of a… Samson, keep driving. Reiss, Kai, deal with the remaining troops. Blood, cover them. I'll deal with Zager." Mordecai said as he got out of the turret and pulled his own sword. "And Kai-"

"I KNOW! I KNOW! You can punch me for jinxing us later." he yelled as he quickly reloaded his shotgun.

With that, Zager and Mordecai began to clash on the hood of the truck as everyone else but Samson kept fighting the Hawks. Hati kept launching Mjölnir's as fast as he could, but the rest of the Hawks had wised up to the danger of the energy missiles he shot and were avoiding them. Kai kept firing away with his shotgun and managed to land a few hits, but none of them were doing any kind of real damage. At the same time, the Hawks were firing back with their own gunfire.

"Dammit, we're doing jack shit. They're moving too fast!" Reiss yelled.

"Well, I'm open to any ideas." Kai yelled. Hati then barked several times. "What did he say?" Reiss asked.

"He said focus fire and keep the target from moving." Kai said as he looked back to Reiss.

"Why not?" Reiss replied with a shrug.

They started focusing on a single Hawk who had a Hyperion shotgun and quickly whittled down his shield. Hati followed with another Mjölnir, which the Hawk was unable to dodge and it hit him square in the face. The damage from the combined fire of the three of them caused the Hawk to be set on fire by Reiss's SMG electrocuted by Hati's attack, and mauled by Kai's explosive shotgun blasts. He started screaming as his body basically turned to ash before he could hit the ground.

"Alright, onto the-" Before Kai could finish, Hati started to flicker and whimpered. Three seconds later, his image de-rezzed and Hati timed out as his Photon emitter respawned into the storage unit on Kai's belt. "Shit, Hati has to recharge." Kai said, gritting his teeth in frustration.

The remaining three Hawks saw this and pressed the opening. Reiss noticed this and yelled "HEADS UP!"

The first Hawk drop-kicked straight into Kai, sending him flying into the front of the truck bed near the turret and putting him into a daze for a few seconds. The Hawk took this opportunity to quickly level his SMG and began fired at Kai, but Reiss kicked the Hawk, causing him to drop the SMG off the side of the truck, though not before Kai's shield failed and two rounds tore through his left shoulder. "AUUGH! DAMMIT!"

Reiss and the Hawk faced each other each pulling out a combat knife. The Hawk struck first but Reiss blocked and punched at the unarmored section of the Hawk's stomach with his left hand, knocking him back a few steps. Reiss went for a slash with his knife but the Hawk brought up his left arm and deflected it with the arm gauntlet then went in for another jab. Reiss twisted his torso to the left, barely dodging.

As Reiss knife fight continued, Kai pulled out one of the insta-health he started keeping in his pack. Before he could inject it into his wound, several green-tinted bullets hit the metal next to him. He looked to see another of the Hawks flying at him with a corrosive Dahi assault rifle with a bayonet on it. Kai could tell he was going for the kill, so he dropped the insta-health and picked his shotgun back up fired at the Hawk several times. The Hawk shot as well and hit Kai, but the hits were absorbed by his shield, which had recharged a moment before. The Hawk, however, took the full brunt of four explosive shots from the Torgue shotgun which killed him and knocked him out of the air.

Kai dropped the gun and grabbed the vial again, quickly jabbing it into his shoulder, the solution swiftly beginning to heal the wounds. Kai grabbed the shotgun to reload it, only to notice that it been damaged by the acid from the Hawk's assault rifle, rendering it useless without major repairs. Just then, Reiss fell next to him as the Hawk trooper he was fighting jumped on him and attempted to bring a knife down on Reiss. Reiss grabbed both of his wrists and put all of his strength in holding the knife away from him.

"A little- ugh- help here." He grunted out.

Kai swung his arm over and activated his hard light blade a second before he hit the Hawk, slicing clean through both of the Hawk's elbows. The Hawk starts screaming, "MY ARMS! MY ARMS! WHY!? I NEED THOSE FOR THE SOFTBALL GAME SATURDAY!"

Reiss tossed the now severed arms away and pulled out a Tediore pistol, shoving it into his face and putting two quick shots into the Hawk's head. The dead Hawk fell on top of Reiss 'til he shoved the body off of himself. Both men took a second to breathe, but this was cut short when Zager suddenly went flying over both of them and landed on the ground behind the truck, which quickly left him in the dust.

"Till next time, asshole," Mordecai yelled as he slid down and took a seat between Reiss and Kai all three watching an angry Zager fade into the distance. Reiss then suddenly asked, "Hey Morde, where's Bloodwing?"

As if on cue, there was a loud, sickening thud that shook the truck as the last Hawk landed on top of the other dead Hawk, this one covered in blood, scratches, and lacerations all over, his helmet and several pieces of armor were missing. His face looked like it lost a fight with a weed whacker. A few seconds later, Bloodwing flew down landed on top of the pile of corpses and gave a victorious screech.

"Good job, girl. Samson, take us home." Mordecai said as he slowly pulled out a flask of Rakk ale and took a swig from it, then handed it to Reiss who took a swig, too. It was silent for the next several seconds, until Mordecai suddenly twisted around and threw a heavy punch into Kai's stomach with as much force as he could muster. "GUUH! SON OF A BITCH MORDE!" Kai yelled in pain as Reiss just laughed at his misery.

X-X-X

Up in Helios station, a man in a massive office with an equally massive window view of Pandora was yelling in anger at his monitor. The man had brown hair with one little streak of gray in his bangs, which were swept to the left. His eyes were odd, as his right eye was a light baby blue, while his left was a light green, but his appearance only got stranger from there. His face was of a lighter skin tone than rest of his body, making it seem almost inorganic. It was also extremely chiseled in all the right places, but on both temples and his chin where what appeared to be metal latches. Altogether, his face appeared to be a mask.

His outfit consisted of an open dark bluish-gray blazer with the sleeves rolled up. Beneath that, he had on a brown vest with a yellow shirt underneath. He had on dark jeans with a Digistruct weapon holster hanging off the right side of his belt, and wore a pair of brown skater shoes, giving him an overall business casual look.

He was currently looking at the main computer screen built into his desk, which looked like it had raspberry jam dripping down the screen.

"Damn that piece of Polarion shit! How? how is it possible for that twerp to not only jam a Hyperion ECHO signal, but then send this fucking virus into my computer, which not only makes my screen look like someone smashed raspberry jam all over it BUT ALSO MAKES THE CAPPUCCINO MAKER IN MY DESK DISPENSE THE DAMN STUFF! HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK!?" Jack yelled in rage. He pressed a button and buzzed his secretary.

" _Yes Jack, what can I do for you?_ " A lady said on the other end.

"Hey sweetcheeks, first, I need someone from the IT department to come fix my computer terminal and my cappuccino maker. Second, I want the bounty for Kai the Rebel to be increased to three hundred billion, and I need you to edit the charges list to also include asshole, hacking, and the desecration of my CAPPUCCINO MACHINE!" He yelled.

" _Y-Yes, sir. Of cours_ -"

"Honey, honey. How many times do I have to tell you… Call me Jack. Handsome Jack." He said sweetly.

" _Um-ah, y-yes sir, I mean Jack! Anything else… Jack?"_

"No, no. That will be all for now babe."

He sat back down and sighed. A few seconds later a small compartment opened and a cup of steaming raspberry jam lifted out of it. He stared at it with disdain. "I fucking hate raspberry."

X-X-X

A few hours later four men, a wolf, and bird sitting on top of said wolf walked into Moxxi's bar all tired, sore, and covered with blood, minus Samson and Hati since Samson drove and Hati was just a light hologram that was cleaned every time he reactivated. Roland was at the bar apparently waiting for them, but when he turned to look at the group he was surprised by their appearance. "You guys look like hell. What happened?"

"Zanger, plus five Hyperion Hawks." Mordecai said with a blank face.

Roland was quiet for a moment as he processed the info. "Right… 'nough said... Moxxi, let's get these guys all a round of drinks, on me." He then motions for them to follow him, "Come on, let's grab a table."

Samson parted ways with them at that point in favor of joining several of his buddies by the dart board, while everyone else took a seat in an empty booth.

"You seem chipper, did something happen?" Mordecai asked.

"Yes, in fact, something did happen, we just managed to acquire about 20 Torgue rocket launchers, two boxes of Longbow grenade mods, and several crates of brand new Dahi assault rifles."

"Really? I thought it was supposed to just be some Hyperion SMGs and shotguns." Mordecai said in surprise.

"That what we thought as well, but apparently there must have been a clerical error, and we got today lucky." Roland said as Moxxi delivered their drinks.

"Well, in that case, a toast to the fool at Hyperion who has graced us with this bountiful harvest of high-grade military weapons." Said Reiss, as he raised a glass.

"To the fool!" *Clink*

Everyone took a swig of their own drink, and before anyone could set down their drinks Roland raised his bottle. "And to the loss of our comrade in arms, may he find peace. To Mitch."

"To Mitch." Everyone else said with a more somber expression. Everyone had taken a drink of their beverage, or in Mordecai's case down the rest of his and asked Moxxi for another.

Mordecai then turned to Kai. "By the way Kai, I'm gonna need that sniper rifle I lent you back."

"Aww, do I have to? I like this rifle." Kai said with an innocent grin.

"Come on man, you promised you would return it." Mordecai said getting a little pissed.

"Relax, I'm just screwing with you, although I did modify it some." Kai said as he pulled the rifle out and passed it to Mordecai, who gave him a scowl of annoyance before he started studying the rifle. After he looked over it for about a minute he finally looked at Kai in disbelieve. "You modified a Vladof sniper rifle to be able to switch between semi and full automatic fire modes? How? You have to be a corporate weapons engineer to pull that off."

Riess jusst let out a luagh. "You're joking, right. This guy is always messing with a weapon when we're not on the job. Of course, he almost never touches an uncommon grade weapon, unless it's necessary. And as for the white common grade weapons, well..." Reiss said as Moxxi brought over another drink for Mordecai.

"I would rather pick up a stick and stone before I picked up a white weapon. Their accuracy is so bad you can't even hit the broadside of a barn with one at point-blank range. It's like my aunt would always say, if it's white, it ain't right." Kai said. Roland, Mordecai, and even Moxxi all looked at him with surprised expressions.

"Uh, what?" Mordecai asked.

"Just ignore it, it's like a verbal tic he has when anyone offers him a common weapon." Reiss explained.

The three of them looked at Kai with a mixture of confusion and surprise. "Uh, right… so explain how you learned to modify weapons." Roland asked.

"I knew a retired weapons smith back on my home planet who used to work for the Jakobs corporation way back. He was part of the group of elderly who would babysit for me and the other kids who were all too young to fight or help out in any major way. So one day, Mr. Dixon started teaching me how to fix and modify weapons of all types since I had nothing… is something wrong Mordecai?"

Mordecai just sat there staring at Kai in disbelief. "D-Dixon? As in Patrick S. Dixon, Jakob's most notorious weapon designer, Ten-time shooting champion for corporate marksmen competition?! The man who supposedly shot and killed a whole Atlas wetwork's team from over 1500 meters with a rusty Jakobs sniper rifle without a scope? THAT DIXON?!"

"Jeez, I never realized how infamous old Wind Snapper was." Kai said before he took another sip of his drink.

"Mierda santa! It is him! The stories he must have told you, the knowledge of all his work. He was my idol, the reason I got into competitive shooting as a kid in the first place. I even own several weapons he has made. They are the best guns I own. That Siah-siah Muckamuck I showed you last Thursday was one of them."

Kai just laughed. "Yeah, I know. I recognized his handy work immediately. That was just a toy compared to some of the things he's made. I've seen all his best work." He said as he glanced to the wrapped rifle that he had set next to the booth.

"You got to tell me about some of his better stuff."

"I'll do you one better." Kai said as he picked up the rifle and unwrapped it, as soon as Mordecai saw what it was, he froze.

"Is-is that a Mythic weapon?" Mordecai asked longingly as he stared at the rifle.

"A what?" Moxxi asked as she and Roland both had on confused expressions.

"A red rarity or Mythic weapons, are one of the hardest types of weapons to acquire. While Legendaries and Pearlescent weapons are rare and powerful, they're still made in small quantities, like two or three hundred, making it hard to find one. But Mythics are on a whole other level of power and accuracy. It takes years to craft a single one and the designers will only use the best materials and or technology to make it. At most there may only be two or three of a particular mythic weapon ever made. Some are prototype weapons while others act as a sort of masterpiece to show off a designer's skill. Each Mythic weapon is a work of art." Mordecai said as he stared at the weapon in Kai's hands.

"Jeeez Morde, if you like it that much, why don't you just marry it." Moxxi teased, while Mordecai just kept staring at the rifle.

"What's it called?" Mordecai asked.

"This is the Clementine, the single best weapon that Dixon has ever made and the only one of it's kind. It has twice the muzzle velocity of a typical Jakobs rifle and a bullet shot from it is capable of penetrating several unshielded opponents. It is accurate out to about 900 meters if the shooter has a good enough eye. It's only drawbacks are that it's unscoped, has only an 8 shot ammo count, and it makes a loud ping when the clip ejects. Other than that, it's the best weapon I've ever owned and it has gotten me through more fights than I can count." Kai said with a small smile as he remembered those days back in that workshop with the old man.

"And before you ask Morde, there is nothing in the whole damn galaxy that you can offer me to ever even consider trading it to you. Not a damn thing." Kai said pointedly at Mordecai who had his mouth open looking like he was about to speak, only to close his mouth slowly with a look of slight disappointment.

"Wow Kai, I've never seen you so defensive." said Moxxi.

"Well, it's one of the few things I have from home, and Mr. Dixon gave it to me after my first mission, as a gift, saying that it will protect me." He said as he somberly looked at the rifle."

Everyone was quiet for a moment after that. "How about a genuine Atlas Chimera and-"

"Forget it, Morde!" Kai said, causing everyone else to laugh.

Kai was about to say something else when Roland cut in. "I hate to break up this conversation, but I have another mission for all of you."

Around of groans came from the other men. "Seriously Roland, we just spent the last three days camping in the wilderness just to cover your and everyone else's collective asses. You're welcome by the way, for an operation that took you all of thirty minutes to complete." Mordecai said.

"Yeah, I mean can't you give us at least one night to clean up and sleep in our own beds?" Kai pitched in.

"Sorry, but we got word that a Hyperion Engineering team guarded by a small squad of commandos have set up a listening post out by Devil's Ridge. With it, they can easily intercept our comm traffic and-"

"Put our operatives at risk." Mordecai answered with a groan.

"Right, so we need you to destroy the outpost as soon as possible and gather any intelligence you can find."

"Well, let's get this over with. Kai, get the truck, Reiss stop by Marcus' for ammo, I'll get-."

"Actually I have another job for you Mordecai. Meet me in the command center in 20 minutes." Roland said.

"Ugh, fine. Later guys, come on Blood, we got work to do." Mordecai said. As he got up, Bloodwing gave a cry and jumped off of Hati's back and flew onto Mordecai's shoulder as he walked away.

"So I guess that just leave the two of us for this job… Great." Kai said depressingly.

"Well I can let you two recruit one other person for this job, but do it quick, you need to get this done ASAP." Roland said as he slid out of his seat and left, Moxxi also took that moment to go back to work, leaving Kai and Reiss by themselves.

"Well this is just great, so any ideas on who our third will be?" Kai asked.

Reiss just shrugged as he looked around the bar until someone caught his eye.

"Actually, I do have an idea. I'll be back in a few minutes." Reiss said as he got up and rushed over to the other side of the bar, leaving Kai alone.

He let out a sigh, pulled out his ECHO and started going through a few things until he glanced at the time and date and realized what today was. He chuckled as he leaned back. "Well, I hope things are going better for you, Gaige." He said with a grin.

X-X-X

At that same moment on the other side of the Galaxy on Eden 5, Gaige, who was covered almost head to toe in blood was standing in the middle of an empty school's auditorium in a state of complete shock. The room looked like a war zone as all around her were smashed up science projects, flipped tables, and blood and guts were strewn all around. DeathTrap was floating next to her with his Digistruct claws active and ready to protect her from any more possible threats, while Gaige, who was now covered in blood and guts could only stare at the spot where Marcie Holloway once stood only a minute before. Her mind was racing with hundreds of thoughts a second as her mind tried to process everything. After another minute, the realization of what her creation had just done finally dawned on her. "Aww, crap." She muttered.


	4. Anywhere But Here

Gaige was standing outside and looking up at an interplanetary cargo shuttle that was currently being loaded at a local civilian spaceport. She had her hair in her trademark pigtails and work goggles sitting on her forehead. She was wearing a blue sleeveless jacket that was zipped down to the top of her stomach and had a red t-shirt with a stylized skull in the middle underneath. The right sleeve of the shirt was also torn at the top of the stitching and halfway around. On her right hand, she wore a red fingerless glove and a red leather bracelet.

She had on a red skirt that ended a little above the knees, and had a large bike chain acting as a second belt. Hanging off the right side of the chain belt was a small black metal lunch box with a cartoon skull and crossbones painted on it, and a motor piston hanging from the left. On the back of her hip, she had a holster with a hammer in it. On her legs, she had on a pair of black and white striped leggings and a pair of light blue high neck sneakers. Finally, strapped to her right shin was another leather holster that had an adjustable wrench in it.

It felt strange to her to be standing there when only a few hours ago she was just a normal high school student. Up until today, her life had been fairly normal. She had two loving parents who supported her interests and have always been there for her. She was an excellent student who excelled in almost all her classes… except for history, and English literature... and poetry. Sure, she didn't really have any friends or even a boyfriend for that matter, but that's never bothered her. Her life may not have been perfect, but she was happy and mostly content with it. That was before. Now, Gaige was a wanted fugitive for the "murder" of her classmate slash life long enemy, Marcie Holloway. Now, she was about to leave her home star system for the first time to go to one of the few places in the known galaxy where the law won't chase her, Pandora.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard several people approaching her. Gaige turns to see her parents walking over to her. Her Mom, Paige, had short red hair and brown eyes and had on a simple green dress that extends past her knees. Excluding her heels, she was only a little bit taller than Gaige. She was trying to put on a strong front, but Gaige could tell she was just barely holding back in light of the current situation.

Her Dad, Gabriel, had dark brown hair and deep green eyes and had on dark jeans and an old Dahl leather jacket. He was also trying to keep himself composed, but unlike her Mom, he was doing a much better job. He handed Gaige a small rucksack, which she put on as he spoke up.

"So I talked to the captain, and he has agreed to take you to Pandora. It should take you about a week to get there. Once you get there you need to figure out where to go from there, but I suggest one of the larger settlements not controlled by the bandits. From what I can tell, Sanctuary seems like the best option, and it's where most of the Vault Hunters seem to congregate to, so you should be safe there."

He opened up the right side of his jacket and dug in the inside pocket pulling out an old Dahl handgun that Gaige recognized immediately, and handed it to her. The gun consisted of all Dahl parts with the exception of the grip, which was a Jakob's grip made out of dark mahogany. It also had a laser sight mounted under the barrel. While the grip was wood, the rest of the gun had a bare metal gray finish that was somewhat polished. It also had numerous little dings and scratches in it from years of use. The final detail was an engraved image of a falcon on both sides just above the safety. The image showed it with its talons out and wings spread as if it were frozen in the moment before it struck.

"Dad! T-that's your Rogue Smuggler! It's your favorite gun, I can't take this!"

"No Gaige, I need you to take this, and I need you to keep it with you at all times. Now, I've told you about my old days in the Dahl military dozens of time, right?"

"Not really."

"Right… well, I would be dead a hundred times over if it wasn't for this gun. So I need you to promise me no matter what you will never go anywhere without it, okay?" His hands started to shake as he tried to hold back the flood of tears. "As long as you have this gun, I know my little baby girl will be safe." Her father said.

Gaige looked at the gun in her hands. After a moment, she pulled the hammer out of her hip holster and replaced it with her father's gun.

With tears now in her own eyes, Gaige looked to her father, then wrapped her arms around him in a hug as she buried her face into his chest. "Thank you, Daddy. I promise that I'll never go anywhere without it."

At this point, Paige lost her composure and the floodgates opened up. "Oh my dear baby girl is leaving home!" she cries as she pulled Gaige from her father and into a back-breaking hug that lifted her off her feet. "Why does my baby have to leave! There so much still left for you to experience. Your Prom, graduation, college, a career, your first boyfriend!" Her Dad scoffed at that last one.

"But those damn Holloways stole that from my baby!" She said with cold venom in her voice as she protectively tightened her hug even more. "I swear they will pay for stealing my baby's future!"

"Mom... can't... breath." Gaige gasped out to no avail.

Her father tapped his wife's shoulder. "Paige dear, you're going to squeeze our baby girl to death before she can escape at this rate."

Paige suddenly dropped the hug and Gaige fell back onto her feet as she gasped for air. "Thanks, dad."

"HEY!" they all turn to see an old man with a white beard in a dark green flight suit and an old leather bomber jacket standing several meters away. "You all better hurry up, we'll be lifting off in five minutes."

"Right, thank you." her father said. The captain nodded and walked back to the ship.

Her mother then pulled out a thick envelope. "There's about ten thousand dollars cash in here. It was all I could scrounge up before you left. Hopefully, this will be enough to get you to Sanctuary, and possibly set up for a while."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll try to make it last." Gaige said as she stuffed the envelope in her sack.

Once she put her pack back on, she looked to her parents who were standing next to each other in each other's arms looking at her with sad smiles. "Well, this is it." Gaige said.

"Yes it is dear. We're sorry we couldn't do more for you." her Dad said.

"Just be safe and be sure to call us when you get there dear." her mom said.

"Of course mom…" Gaige nodded and began to walk away, but after several steps, she stopped and turned around. She suddenly ran back and wrapped them both in a hug as they hugged her back. "I love you guys and I'll miss you both." She said as tears started to ran down her cheeks.

"We know dear, we love you too." her Mom said. "We'll miss you as well. Be safe for us." her Dad said just as the shuttle's engines started to power up. "You better get going dear." her Dad said. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before letting go. She then gave her mother a peck on the cheek and received one in return. Gaige turned and start running towards the shuttle.

"AND FIND YOURSELF A GOOD BOYFRIEND!" She heard her mom yell.

"PAIGE!" Gaige heard her Dad yell in dismay.

Gaige just smiled at that last remark as she jumped onto the loading ramp and ran inside.

Her parents watched as the shuttle took off and rocketed off into the night sky a minute later. "There goes our little anarchist. Do you think she'll be okay, Gabriel?"

"She'll be fine."

"Reminds me of the old days. You the handsome rogue and his gorgeous mechanic, fly around the galaxy and running from the law."

"She's just like her mother." Gabriel said.

"Well, she has my brains and good looks, and your physical prowess. With that combination, I have no doubt she'll do fine." Paige said.

"Why would you ever have to worry about her? Besides, she has DT to watch her back."

She sighed as they continued to stare at the spot that the shuttle finally disappeared at. "Of course now she just needs to find a nice, young, dashing, rogue for herself."

Gabriel just groaned, "Dear Lord Paige, are you trying to give me an ulcer?"

X-X-X

It was night time in Sanctuary… or at least it appeared to be, as it was actually about late afternoon by Pandoran time. If one were to listen they would hear lots of laughter coming from inside of Moxxi's bar.

"So there he was, running for his life when this guy pops out from behind a corner and clotheslines him with a large wrench he found. He then tells the this Hyperion commando, "Oy, where ya off to, chump? Just sit back and watch the star way, why don't ya?" Then he takes the wrench and golf swings it into the guy's face, knocking the SOB out cold along with a few of his teeth." Reiss states as Kai and several Raiders at the bar laugh as he finished his regales of their most recent mission.

"Well, what can I say, the man looked like he could use a nap. I just helped him along." Said Michael Mamaril before taking another drink of his beer. Michael was a brown-haired man who always wore a pair of silver aviator sunglasses. He had on jeans with a red stripe that ran down each leg 'til they stopped and wrapped around the knee caps. He also had on a long sleeve coat and a maroon leather vest over that. Michael was another Vault Hunter who worked out of Sanctuary, although he spent most of his time out in the waste. He would come back every so often to rest, talk to Tannis about leads, and resupply. When he did, he usually stayed a day or two before going back out into the waste. He would also pass off some pretty good weapons that he no longer wanted when Kai saw him.

Reiss had asked him for some help with their mission to destroy the Hyperion listening outpost since they need a third man for the job. Today was the first time either of them saw him fight and Kai had to say he was impressed. Michael even managed to capture one of the commandos they fought so that he could be interrogated for info.

Michael finished up his drink and got up from the bar. "Reiss, Kai, I have to say that was fun but I need to get back on a hot lead I have about a possible vault location."

"Of course man. If you need any help just give us a call." Kai said as they bump fists. "Oh, and keep the SMG, it works for you."

"Thanks. Well, later everyone." He said loudly as he walked out.

Reiss took the now-vacant seat as Kai turned back to the bar. "Well, that was fun." Reiss said.

"I know, right? We should have asked him to tag along sooner, it was nice to have help from someone who can actually shoot straight."

"Hey!" Reiss said in mock disbelief before he punched Kai in the shoulder. Kai just laughed at his reaction.

Just then Moxxi came out from the backroom in a hurry and came over to them. "Kai, your girlfriend is in trouble."

Kai stopped drinking and looked at Moxxi. Reiss also perked up at this in confusion. "When did you get a girlfriend, man? More importantly, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't nor have I ever had one. Moxxi, what the hell are you talking about?"

"It Gaige, Kai. She's in trouble with the law!" She said. Kai's mind came to a grinding halt.

He was about to ask what she meant when his ECHO beeped. He quickly pulled out his ECHO and saw that it was a notification that Gaige's ECHO-cast was about to start. Kai put his ECHO pad on the bar for everyone to listen to as it started.

Gaige: " _Umm… so, hello… huh… my… twenty thousand subscribers. Wow! Okay. Ha, ha… Okay. So you may have heard on the ECHO news bulletins Deathtrap may have… slightly, uh, killed… my classmate Marcie at last night's Science Fair_."

Kai looked up to Moxxi as Gaige started explaining how things happened. "DT did what?!" Moxxi and Reiss shushed him as they both kept listening.

Gaige: " _So, things were looking good. I was looking really brilliant. Unfortunately, I forgot that Marcie's dad has more money than God, so he bought off the entire judge panel. So Marcie's project won first prize and I earned… third place_." She laughs in disbelief.

Kai quietly muttered, "That damn bitch."

Gaige: " _Okay anyways, Marcie started gloating. She started pointing and laughing at me and then she… pushed me. It's… ok, that's when things got. . . messy_." She said, with her voice now sounding distressed.

" _Deathtrap recognized Marcie as a threat, so he gave her a quick slash with his digistruct claws. No big deal. That's what it supposed to do!_ " She then takes in a deep breath of air.

Gaige: " _And I must have miscalibrated… them last night when I was... adding the discord circuits… cause the second his claws touched Marcie's skin she kind of… like… um… okay, she exploded. She's like… everywhere! It… skin… things, uh eyeballs, I don't know, it was gross! Anyway, sorry. After they finished cleaning up Marcie and the auditorium I was escorted to the principle's office. Which I've never been to before, and I found out I wasn't getting expelled or arrested for what Deathtrap did to Marcie._ " She stated as her breathing grew more rapid.

Gaige: " _I'm being expelled AND arrested for what Deathtrap did to Marcie, and Marcie is not getting any sort of recourse for what she did to me, which is a serious shove, and I am traumatized because, ehhh…_ " She takes a deep breath.

Gaige: " _I called my Dad and got him to create a distraction. He's very brilliant with things like that and I'm not going to go into details about it, but let's just say it involves a golf cart and a lot of gasoline - Good job, Dad. - so that I could slip away. So, anyway, long story short, I'm currently ECHO-casting from the cozy confines of a trans-planetary shuttle. Dad and I figured I should probably head somewhere where the cops and their, hmm, "Crime-Buster Bots" couldn't find me. So… so after a teary farewell… I love you, Mom, Daddy! I grabbed a ride to Pandora_."

At that moment everything just stopped for Kai. 'Gaige is coming here. HERE! To this planet!'

Gaige: " _Which, I-I mean… I-I-I've always been kind of interested in Vault Hunting, but who knows? Maybe here my talents will actually be appreciated and I won't go jail for being brilliant. Third place. I mean, seriously! Bastards_."

The ECHO ended and Reiss and Moxxi looked at Kai. He was still too stunned by this revelation. "She coming here… to Pandora." Kai said in disbelief. Reiss gave him a slap on the back.

"Come on buddy, cheer up! Your little girlfriend is coming here, you should be excited." Reiss said.

"EXCITED?! Reiss, I told you already, I didn't want her to come here! That the last thing I wanted to happen!"

"No, you said you wouldn't make her come here. Well, you are not the one making her come here." Reiss stated.

That didn't really help settle Kai's doubts any, as he just laid his arms on the bar top and buried his face in them. "Holy Crawmerax why, why does she have to come to Pandora of all places?" he groaned.

Moxxi, who had been quiet up till that point, placed a hand on Kai's shoulder. "You know what I think Kai, I think there is a scared girl who just had her whole life turned upside down, inside out, and throw out a window. And now she is coming to one of the scariest and most dangerous planets on this side of the sector, if not the whole galaxy."

"Moxxi… you're not helping." Kai said with his voice being muffled by his arms.

"And… She has a friend on that same planet who deeply cares for her. A friend who can also help her out in this time of need. So stop moping and step up to the plate, sugar. Your friend needs you right now more than ever."

Kai was still for a moment 'til he let out a sigh and turned his head to the side to look at her. "You know Moxxi, you should have considered a career in counseling."

"That's just another responsibility for a sexy bartender."

Kai got up and started heading for the door, "I need to go call a friend. Reiss, I'll see you later." Kai said before exiting.

Reiss just chuckled as he turned back to the bar. "Things are about to get a whole lot more interesting around here." He said as he went back to his drink until Moxxi grab the bottle by the neck and took it from his hand. She then drank the remaining half of the bottle in one go, as Reiss stared at her. When she finished, she set the bottle back on the bar and leaned in close to Reiss.

"Not as interesting as tonight's going to be for you, cutie. All of this reminder of young love has got me very... thirsty." She said seductively. At this point, Reiss's brain broke and was desperately trying to reboot itself. Moxxi grabbed the dumbstruck man by his hand and slowly guided him to the backroom, which leads to her apartment above the bar.

X-X-X

It had been several minutes since Gaige had ended her ECHO cast and she was currently going through another round of crying her eyes out. Although the shuttle was equipped for a crew of 15, there were only about eight people crewing the ship, so she had a small cabin to herself.

'All by myself.' she thought. She was scared out of her mind. The farthest off world she had ever been was the school field trip to one of Eden 5's moons, and now she was flying halfway across the known Galaxy to one of the most dangerous planets in existence.

She kept thinking about if her parents would be okay. Even though she was now off the planet, the fact is that they aided and abetted a wanted criminal. 'Criminal. Never thought I would be using that word to describe myself.' she thought. 'I just wish I didn't have to leave my parents behind. I could only imagine how mom must feel right now.'

She continued to sit there wallowing in despair' til her ECHO pad beeped, she ignored it at first but it beeped several more times and she was getting annoyed. Gaige finally picked it up to see that R3bel_Wolf was sending a chat request. She stared at his name. While she'd never met him, let alone seen his face, he was the closest thing Gaige had to a best friend. It suddenly dawned on her that even though she had left everything else behind, Wolf was still the one thing from her old life that remained. 'But do I really want to talk to him now?' After several minutes of deliberating, she decided to accept the invite as she had nothing better to do, and it couldn't hurt to chat with someone.

R3bel_Wolf: Gaige! I was afraid you wouldn't answer. Are you alright, are you hurt?

Mechromancer: Hey Wolf, I'm fine, I'm just hiding away in my cabin right now. So what up, how has your day been? Do anything interesting?

She figured she'd try and joke with him.

R3bel_Wolf: Oh-no Missy, you ain't fooling me with that nonchalant routine today.

Mechromancer: A girl can try.

R3bel_Wolf: True, now for real, how are you. I heard your live ECHO-cast.

Mechromancer: I figure you would, I'll be honest this whole thing has been. . . Traumatizing.

R3bel_Wolf: I can only imagine, I mean 3rd place, Gaige you must be devastated.

Gaige stared at the last message in confusion.

Mechromancer: What?

R3bel_Wolf: Yeah, to spend all that time on DT and to only get third place… Do you want me to go over to Eden-5 and kick those bribe-taking SOB's asses and then shove that cash down their throats! I'll do it! No one cheats my friend and gets away with it!

Gaige cracked a smiled and chuckled a little at this.

Mechromancer: Now who joking.

R3bel_Wolf: Who said I was joking?

Mechromancer: You would do that?

R3bel_Wolf: I take my friendships very seriously, just say the word and POW!

Mechromancer: You would go across the galaxy to beat the crap out of a couple of money grubbing jerks who would crush a high school girl's hopes and dreams just to get a few extra credits. Aww, that so sweet of you.

R3bel_Wolf: There the Gaige I know. Feeling better?

Mechromancer: Yeah, a little bit. Thanks.

R3bel_Wolf: I do what I can, now then how are you holding up?

Mechromancer: I'm scared Wolf, this is all happening so fast. And this is the farthest I have ever been from home in my life and I'm alone. Sure I have DT but that isn't like having someone around. Then I'm also worried about my parents if the cops find out they help me escape they might be thrown in jail.

R3bel_Wolf: I can understand, although that brings up the question, what the hell did your dad do? He used a golf cart and a lot of gasoline. I've got to know what he did, there gotta be an interesting story there?

I giggled and then began telling the story for the next several minutes.

Mechromancer: So when he got near the center of town he jumped out when the cops weren't looking and then started remote controlling the golf cart from his ECHO device, a little feature me and my mom built into it for his birthday about ten years ago. He kept controlling it for ten more blocks till he ran it into the "Crime-Buster bot factory that was next to the police station, causing it to explode and taking the factory out of the picture as well as over half of their new bots!

R3bel_Wolf: DAMN! Your dad sounds like a real badass.

Mechromancer: Yeah well, he try's. I never did figure out where he acquired such a set of skills. He said he was in the Dahl military for a time, but he never talks about it.

R3bel_Wolf: Odd, but still your parents sound awesome.

Mechromancer: Yeah, well what are your parents like?

For about a minute there was no response, she started to wonder if she may be asked the wrong question. Here he was trying to help her and now she probably just brought him to her level or worse. Finally though, to Gaige's relief, a message appeared.

R3bel_Wolf: Both of my parents are dead, my father died when I was 9 and my mother died earlier this year.

Mechromancer: Sorry I did mean to bring up such memories.

R3bel_Wolf: It fine.

R3bel_Wolf: Let just not go into details today, please. Besides, I'm supposed to be helping you today.

Mechromancer: Alright.

R3bel_Wolf: So how are you doing with the fact that DT... You know.

Mechromancer: That my creation not only killed my mortal enemy and classmate but did it right in front of me, causing me to be covered in the blood and guts of said mortal enemy and possibly traumatizing me for the rest of my life. Oh yeah, I'm great!

R3bel_Wolf: That bad huh.

Mechromancer: Oh and to top it all off I'm now a criminal, wanted for said death of my classmate, and because of that, I had to leave my home, leave my parents, my PLANET! And I'm not sure if I'll ever see my home or family again. Oh, and am now on my way to Pandora, all because of that stupid BITCH Marcie! Sure Pandora's an awesome and badass place where I can let myself be as crazy and destructive as I want and I'm hyped that I'm going to be a Vault Hunter and go on awesome adventures, but I'm scared. This is all happening so fast it makes my brain swelling to the size of a bus!

Mechromancer: I mean, I'm going to a new planet where I know nobody! And on top of that, I am a wanted criminal that has a 61 billion dollar bounty on my head!

Mechromancer: I'm going to be all alone.

Gaige looked away from the screen as the waterworks started again. She kept crying for several minutes. It felt good to vent and get all of the frustration out, but it still hurt to think about it. She then heard another notification from Wolf. She turned and looked back at her ECHO pad and the message she saw confused her.

R3bel_Wolf: What the hell! That bounty is bigger than mine!

R3bel_Wolf: Oh crap, I sent that.

R3bel_Wolf: PLEASE IGNORE!

R3bel_Wolf: That was a joke.

R3bel_Wolf: Shit.

R3bel_Wolf: I just don goofed.

"He has a bounty? What the hell?" Gaige whispered.

Gaige: What do you mean "your bounty?"

Gaige: Start typing Wolf.

R3bel_Wolf: There nothing to talk about.

Mechromancer: Wolf are you a criminal!?

R3bel_Wolf: No.

Mechromancer: . . .

R3bel_Wolf: Maybe.

R3bel_Wolf: It depends on how you look at it.

Gaige: Wolf, I have known you how long now.

R3bel_Wolf: 4 years.

Mechromancer: Right 4 years, and you've helped me with a lot of things and we have chatted for a long time, so that has built you a lot of trust in my book.

Mechromancer: You probably know far more about me than anyone in this Galaxy. However, that trust is on a knife's edge right now, and I'm not sure if I should associate myself with a wanted criminal.

R3bel_Wolf: But aren't you a criminal now?

Mechromancer: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT BUSTER!

Mechromancer: I know almost nothing about you, and the first time you've slipped up, I learned you're a criminal, for what, I don't know. Now any normal person would have already left this chat and blocked you. However, considering all the times we've chatted, I'm willing to giving you one chance to explain yourself, and not just what this bounty is about. Oh no, I want to know everything.

Mechromancer: And depending on your answer, I may or may not cut all ties with you. Now as I said before, start typing.

Gaige stared at the screen and waited for a response. About thirty seconds went by when she started to consider following through on her threat when the typing indicator appeared next to Wolf's name.

R3bel_Wolf: Fine, I guess considering the situation I might as well tell you now. I was going to open up anyway considering everything that happened to you, just not in this manner. Just give me one moment.

Several seconds later a shared file appeared from him. Gaige was pondering what it was when the file suddenly opened by itself. Several windows appeared on her screen, some with code, some with numbers. It was all too fast for her to read as the windows all completed their tasks and closed.

Mechromancer: What did you just do?!

R3bel_Wolf: I just encrypted the chatroom. Call it paranoia, but after some of the shit I've been through... Well better safe than sorry, plus it's just as much for your protection as it is mine.

Mechromancer: Okay.

Mechromancer: Well so are you going to keep stalling or am I leaving?

R3bel_Wolf: Right, I guess I'll start with the beginning. What do you know about a planet called Polaris?

Mechromancer: That it was a colony world on the edge of frontier space. A Hyperion survey team stopping for supplies stated that the planet was hit by a solar storm that killed everyone.

R3bel_Wolf: Well that partially true. Everyone on Polaris was killed by radiation, but it wasn't a storm. It was Hyperion that killed them all, all except for myself that is.

Mechromancer: What? Why?

R3bel_Wolf: Well because when Hyperion came originally, they tried to take over everything. You see, while the colony wasn't owned by any major corporation, we did do business with a few, you know minerals, crops, a little industry. We also had some orbital mining operations as well. Nothing big but, pretty good for a small colony that was only 56 years old. But when I was about 8 Hyperion came and said they were buying the planet. Well, no one liked this because it would cut income severely and it would mean that the Colony wouldn't be able to apply for representation as an independent planet as Hyperion would control the infrastructure.

R3bel_Wolf: So the population protested, of course, this didn't accomplish much. Then in one town, during one protest, a group of Hyperion soldiers opened fire on a crowd of civilians. Dozens were killed and this led to several riots. Hyperion then basically declared Marshall law and closed off the planet. Things kept escalating until it became a straight up war. By the age of 14, I had started to fight with the Rebels.

R3bel_Wolf: Then at just a few months after my 19 birthday, while I was off planet on a recon flight, Hyperion razzed the surface with a radiation weapon. Everyone ground side was hit by the radiation. And well...

Wolf messages stopped for a minute.

Mechromancer: I think I get the idea as to what happened. So what did you do after?

R3bel_Wolf: Well after that, my mentor who was on the ship with me at the time, decided we need to get away. We both wanted to strike back at Hyperion, so we went to the one place where we could do that, Pandora.

Gaige looks at the message again and stared at the message in utter shock. The only person she considered a friend is on Pandora, the planet that she was currently heading to. 'This is a joke, right?'

Mechromancer: You're joking. Right? Are you saying you are on Pandora right now?

R3bel_Wolf: No, I'm not joking. Remember those 2 months where we didn't chat. That was when I got here and I wondered around for a few days after I got here till someone I met helped me get to Sanctuary. As for the month after, I just need some time. It's not every day that your home planet is all but destroyed.

Every gear in Gaige's head had come to a grinding halt at this point. The guy she's been chatting with for the last several years is not only on Pandora now but in Sanctuary. Then there was the fact he was this rebel fighter from a now dead planet.

Mechromancer: So if you're on Pandora, what do you do now?

R3bel_Wolf: I've continued the fight against Hyperion and Handsome Jack. I mean, I really have nothing else, technically I'm a Vault Hunter, but as of late there hasn't been any clues to its whereabouts of the Vault. It also because of my fight against them that it why I have a bounty on my head.

Mechromancer: You're a Vault Hunter? Don't you have to be a badass to be one?

R3bel_Wolf: HEY! I am a badass for your information.

Mechromancer: That has yet to be seen.

R3bel_Wolf: That a little cold.

There weren't any more messages for about a minute, until Wolf broke the metaphorical silence.

R3bel_Wolf: So, do you have any other questions. Or are you going to disappear forever? Please don't. : (

Gaige thought about it for a minute as she read his explanation again. She had no reason to believe his story, nor did she have any reason to not believe it. The only thing that Wolf really had going for him was the fact that they've chatted so much over the last few years, his help with a few tech problems she's had, and that he hasn't tried anything funny like asking for her address or for her to meet him some place. So at this point, it was either trust him or walk.

Mechromancer: I have one last question. What is your name?

R3bel_Wolf: It Kai.

Mechromancer: . . . What, no last name?

R3bel_Wolf: Huh?

R3bel_Wolf: OH! Sorry, it Solgard. For some reason, nobody seems to use their last names around here on Pandora, so I sort of forget to use it when introducing myself these days.

Mechromancer: That weird.

Mechromancer: I guess, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now.

R3bel_Wolf: Thanks, Gaige.

Mechromancer: But I am going to punch you if we meet as punishment for not telling me all of this sooner.

R3bel_Wolf: I can accept that.

R3bel_Wolf: Wait with which arm? Your real one or the robot arm that can break concrete?

R3bel_Wolf: And where!?

Mechromancer: That for me to know, and for you to find out.

R3bel_Wolf: Crap, I walked into that one.

Mechromancer: As well as a 500 Badass points deduction.

R3bel_Wolf: Now that just cold.

R3bel_Wolf: Anyways thanks for trusting me.

Mechromancer: I said I'd give you the benefit of the doubt, not trust you. . . YET. If we do meet, I'll be armed and you'll have to deal with DT if you try anything funny.

R3bel_Wolf: Fair enough. Actually on that note, apart from DT, are you armed?

Mechromancer: As in my left arm.

R3bel_Wolf: . . . . Weak. Minus 50 points.

Mechromancer: U suck. Anyways, Why do you want to know?

R3bel_Wolf: Gaige, Pandora is an incredibly dangerous planet, you have to realize that. Even more, most people you meet will likely try to kill you.

Mechromancer: It can't be that bad.

R3bel_Wolf: The first thing anyone ever said to me when I got to Pandora was, and I quote, "You're gonna be my new meat bicycle." So tell me would you want to come here unarmed now.

Gaige had to admit that didn't sound very welcoming.

Mechromancer: You've made your point. My Dad gave me his Dahl handgun. A Rare grade one to be exact.

R3bel_Wolf: Personally I would have preferred you have at least an SMG, or a rocket launcher, but that will do as long as you don't go looking for a fight.

R3bel_Wolf: So what now.

Mechromancer: Now, you're going to start answering some long-overdue questions I have for you, and some new ones. First, why the secrecy, and why now?

R3bel_Wolf: Well, I didn't want to put you in danger. As long as you didn't know the real me I didn't have to worry about any enemies coming and using you as a way to get to me or my comrades.

Mechromancer: Then why risk chatting with me.

R3bel_Wolf: Chatting with you and listing to your ECHO-cast help me stay sane. It hard to do that when you're fighting day in and day out.

Mechromancer: Okay, I guess I could see what you mean. So you're a Vault Hunter and a Rebel fighter?

R3bel_Wolf: Yup.

Mechromancer: THAT IS SO COOOOOL! What your gimmick.

R3bel_Wolf: My what?

Mechromancer: Your gimmick. You know, that special ability or skill that sets you apart from other Vault Hunters, like for me I've got a robot arm that can digistruct a floating killer robot with a laser eye and energy claws. Or from what I read there was one who was an archeologist and he would use a whip, there also a super soldier in green battle armor who could lift a tank. There was also that former police ranger who is said to be so tough was able to knock out a hundred bandits with a single roundhouse kick, or that hunter who has a really rare bird that could take on other elements! Stuff like that.

R3bel_Wolf: Oh, I know that last one, that Mordecai and Bloodwing. I've done a few joint ops with him.

Mechromancer: You know a Vault Hunters!

R3bel_Wolf: Several actually, I can introduce you to them. As long as you don't go full-on fangirl around them.

Mechromancer: HEY! I'm not like one of those "Darklight" Series or "Synced-Up" fangirls!

R3bel_Wolf: Those were oddly specific examples.

Mechromancer: SHUT UP! And stop insinuating.

R3bel_Wolf: HA! Anyways, my gimmick, let's see. Well, I have a pair of special vambraces which can create hard light blades. Although they have several severe power limitations so they can't stay active for long.

Mechromancer: That sounds cool, but that doesn't seem like much.

R3bel_Wolf: WHAT! Oh come on, it like dual laser blades! It like the Sith Lord in Star Wars Episode 28!

Mechromancer: Now you're just being a rip-off. Minus 250 Badass points.

R3bel_Wolf: Oh really, that again!

Mechromancer: You are not impressing me.

R3bel_Wolf: Fine, you want badass! I also have an A.I. that can form a hard light body to look like a wolf so that he can aid me in battle.

Mechromancer: . . . Okay, now that actually pretty fucking badass. Plus 1000 points.

Gaige continued to chat with R3bel_Wolf or Kai for several more hours as he would answer every question she asked about himself and some of the stories of his time with the Raiders. Pretty soon though Gaige had to admit that she was getting tired.

R3bel_Wolf: So when will you reach Pandora?

Mechromancer: Well I left last night so about 6 days?

R3bel_Wolf: I see.

Mechromancer: Any advice?

R3bel_Wolf: We have plenty of time to make plans but your priority should be to get to Sanctuary ASAP! And don't trust Hyperion.

Mechromancer: Right.

Neither one of them typed anything for about a minute, 'til Gaige finally gathered up the courage.

Mechromancer: Hey Kai, before I log out, I just want to say thanks. Thanks for being there for me, and for letting me know that someone is there on the other side of . . . All of this.

R3bel_Wolf: Hey it what any good friend worth their weight in gold would do.

Mechromancer: Thank you… BUT DON'T THINK I FULLY TRUST YOU YET!

R3bel_Wolf: Of course. Chat tomorrow? Same time?

Mechromancer: I'll be waiting, I've got nothing else to do. Later.

R3bel_Wolf: Later.

~Chatroom Terminated~

Gaige laid down on her bunk and sighed. All of her worries, doubts, and fears that had plagued her several hours earlier were now almost non-existent. She still had her doubts about Kai, if he was really anything like he said he was. but for now, she was happy that she possibly had at least one friend on Pandora.

Never in all her life had she been so eager about something. She was now starting to get excited about going to Pandora. As sleep finally started to take hold of her, one last thought entered Gaige's mind. 'I wonder if he's cute?'

X-X-X

Elsewhere, someone logged out of the chat room they had been spying on. 'Well, this is an interesting development.' A woman quietly thought to herself.


	5. Welcome to Pandora Kiddo - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note, I'm going to be adding a loot guide for some of my original weapons in this story, so take a look. Anyway, with this chapter, we enter into the main BL2 storyline. So sit back, relax, and watch the Mayhem.

The world around her felt cold and desolate, and even with the numbing cold around her, she felt sore. Gaige's memories slowly began to trickle back.

It started early that same day after she landed on Pandora. She got off in a small spaceport town called Starzz Town, apparently, it was one of only three places where none corporate shuttles could still 'safely' land on Pandora without worry of Hyperion. This is only because of the town's insane Anti-Air network that protected it from Hyperion moonshots attacks. It also had several Buzzard squadrons that would patrol the surrounding airspace. Only certain crafts are given clearance to land there. Although the skies were mostly safe, the streets were fairly lawless. Gaige didn't stay long and got on a train heading North East towards a town called Rough Iron Ridge. From there Kai was supposed to pick her up. _Suppose,_ being the preferred word.

She had been sleeping in one of the vacant cars when several Hyperion Loader bots busted into the train car and tried to kill her. Gaige was holding them off fairly well with Deathtrap's help until a forward train car EXPLODED and derailed the whole damn train. Which led to Gaige's current situation.

As Gaige's mind was still waking up with a throbbing headache that was killing her, she began to hear voices.

Most of the voices were muffled for some reason. The most she could tell was that one had a high-pitched robotic voice and then someone speaking in what sounded like haikus. She tried to move only to feel pins and needles shot through her body, but it was enough to get someone's attention. The next thing she knew, she felt something being brushed off her till her head was dug out of what she then realized to be snow.

Slowly her sight came back as she felt someone prop her up, a quick look around and she found that she was currently in the middle of a frozen wasteland surrounded by wrecked train cars and other rubble. It was also then she noticed who had dug her up.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Gaige looked to find a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties crouched down in front of her. He's had brown hair done in a sort of crew cut, pale blue eyes, and light tan skin. Over his left eye was a white rank Chevron. He was wearing a modified tan brown Dahl uniform, and on his right shoulder, he had what looked like a camera mounted on it. He also had olive drab cargo pants and a pair of combat boots. Around his neck was a necklace with a diamond ring hanging off of it.

"Ugh, I think. I just feel have pins and needles shooting all thro- OW!" She yelped. She looked to see someone in a black armored skin tight suit with a helmet on. In front of his face was a red hologram Zer0 as well as one painted over his heart. He was jabbing an insta-heal into her right arm.

Almost immediately Gaige felt most of the pain and soreness she had been feeling fade away, although she was still cold. "What happened," she asked.

"Train was a trap / Many enemies came and attacked / Handsome Jack destroyed it." the man in the combat suit said with an eerily robotic voice.

Gaige looked at him in confusion. "Did he just speak in Haiku?" Gaige asked.

"Yes, yes he did. Can you get up," The Dahl soldier asked?

"I think so." Gaige said as she slowly tried to get up. The two men by her quickly helped her up, after she got on her feet she took a quick inventory of her gear. She still had her rucksack and her dad's gun which was in her back holster, but when she went to check her ECHO she found that it was fried. 'Just great,' she thought. With her ECHO fried she couldn't summon Deathtrap as part of his Digistruct program was processed by her ECHO. Gaige could only sigh at this discovery. She then looked around and found that there were several other people there as well.

The first was a woman with short blue hair styled in a bob-like cut, blue lips to match, pale skin, and three little blue dots under her left eye. She had on a skin-tight yellow and black combat bodysuit with only a right sleeve. Her left arm was covered in blue tattoos. She also had on blue pants with gray patches on the knees and sides.

Gaige wasn't sure what was up with the siren tattoos. She had heard of Sirens, there could only be six of them in the universe at any given time and each one could have incredible powers. She had also seen a few girls at school get Siren tattoos to try and look cool. With that in mind, Gaige knew there was the possibility she was a fake.

Next to her was easily the tallest one there. It was a man who wore a gas mask with only his left eye visible. He had no shirt on, a pair of orange baggy pants, and a harness around his shoulders with a tube running into his left arm under a crude metal gauntlet. He was the only one visibly armed with what appeared to be a large... 'buzz, saw, axe? Buzz Axe?' she thought.

Finally, the shortest member was a man with bluish-black hair and accompanying beard, who looked as if he was mad. He had on a ragged burnt orange t-shirt and jeans, and a pair of leather boots with spurs. Over his shoulders appeared to be ammo belts, and what Gaige suspected to be a pair of digistruct converters. How he got one let alone two of them was a mystery as one unit could buy a small ship.

"So who are you kid?" the soldier asked.

"Gaige. What about all of you?"

"Well, I'm Axton, ex-Dahl Commando. Mr. Haiku there in the suit is Zer0, the chick with the tattoos is Maya. The big scary Psycho by her is Krieg, and finally the shorty here is Salvador." the now name commando said.

"HEY! I ain't short! Punta." Salvador yelled.

"Well, you actually are," Axton said, he was then nailed in the back of the head by a snowball. Axton turned to see Salvador smiling at his deed. This quickly turned into a shouting match which Gaige and the other watched for a few minutes until till she got fed up.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone looked at her, surprise at the sheer lung capacity she had to have for that yell. "Can we just please go somewhere else now, someplace 'warmer' perhaps," Gaige said as she pulled her hood over her head.

"AGREED! SEEK THE WARMTH LIKE THE FIRES THAT BURN THE FLESH!" Krieg yelled.

'Great, you've probably just scared that girl half to death,' said a voice in Krieg's head

"Uuuh,"

"It his way of talking, he doesn't mean it in the literal sense. . . Most of the time." Maya said.

Right, so any ideas as to where we should go," Gaige asked.

"You can come to my place!" An annoying robotic voice nearly yelled behind Gaige, causing the girl to jump and fall over on her butt in surprise.

When she recovered she looked behind to find a small yellow wedge shaped robot with a single glowing blue eye, spindly arms that stood on a single wheel. Gaige couldn't believe it, it was a fully functional Claptrap unit. From what she knew, almost as soon as Handsome Jack became the head of Hyperion he supposedly shut them all down as his first act. "What… the... hell?" Gaige asked.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am a CL4P-TP steward robot, but my friends call me Claptrap! Or they would if any of them were still alive. Or had existed in the first place! Oh! I've got something for you!"

Claptrap went over to a dead body and pull something out of its pocket.

"Here take this ECHO communicator I didn't loot from one of these corpses! It comes with a class twelve heads-up display, complete with a minimap!" Claptrap said as handed it to Gaige. She looked it over before she equipped it and saw it was an older Dahl military grade ECHO, it even had a few more features like a motion tracker. It wasn't bad but it was slower than her previous model.

"Now come, come, friends. Let's get you all inside." Claptrap said. Axton quickly pulled Gaige back on her feet. Everyone then started following the little robot as it continued it's ranting.

"Man, this is great! Now that I've met several mighty Vault Hunters, I can finally join the resistance in Sanctuary, take vengeance against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I stop thinking out loud! . . . I wonder what it's like to have a belly button?"

Nobody was sure what to do, or if they should trust the little robot until a fuzzy image of a woman appeared on everyone's HUD.

"I'll explain everything soon, but know this - you're alive for a reason, and I… am here to help you," came the voice of a young woman.

They all look at each other. "You all heard that too, right," Salvador asked. They all nodded, except for Claptrap who appeared to not receive the message even notice that something had distracted everyone. Finally, Axton just shrugged and followed after Claptrap. Everyone else followed suit.

It took a few minutes to get to Claptrap place which was made out of an assortment of ice, scrap, and a LOT of old Claptrap parts. They finally made it inside and Gaige immediately took a seat by the furnace as Claptrap went somewhere to get more fuel for the fire. Everyone was silent for the next few minutes, till Gaige spoke up.

"Sooo, you guys were going to be Vault Hunters too?"

"Yup, I'm just looking for fame, glory, and adventure," Axton said as he was checking several boxes for anything useful.

"I'm here because it sounds like fun." Salvador chipped in.

"I seek the challenge / the chance to test myself/ to see my strength," Zer0 said. Everyone looked at Zer0 with various looks, until Gaige looked over to Maya and asked, "What about you?"

"Me, I'm trying to find out about my siren heritage," she said quietly.

"Wait, so you're actually claiming to be a real Siren. How do we know you're not just one of those posers with a decent tattoo." Axton asked accusingly.

"What! You yourself saw me using my powers on the train." To Maya's annoyance.

"Yeah, that whole fight is a little fuzzy. I think I may have hit my head when we got blown up." He said sheepishly.

"Well if you are one, why not just show us now," Salvador asked.

Maya stretched her arm out at one of the Claptrap bodies sitting at a small table that was set up to look as though it playing poker. She had a look of concentration on her face, and soon a was clenching her teeth in frustration. "Augh! I can't, I must have overused my power when I tried to shield us all from the explosion," she said. "I didn't think I'll be able to use my powers for a little while."

"Right~ sure. Whatever you say," Axton said sarcastically. Maya gave him the finger as she glared at him.

"What about you big guy," Axton asked Krieg. "Must follow the blue flower! Protect the flower," He nearly yelled out.

"What?" Axton said. Gaige was just as confused.

"Right, well how about you niñita?" Salvador asked.

"I'm only an inch shorter than you shortly," she muttered since he just called her little girl.

"What?" Salvador asked.

"I said I don't really want to talk about it." Everyone looked at her skeptically, till Gaige gave a small sigh. "Let just say, I made a mistake and now I'm wanted. So I came here to hide and become a Vault Hunter. I'm currently trying to get to Sanctuary to meet up with someone."

"Really, does little red have a special friend waiting for her or something." Axton teased as he came over and ruffled her hair.

"Stop that! It not like that, he just a friend."

"Oh, so it a 'he' now." Maya chipped in.

Before she could respond Claptrap rolled back into the room with a few cardboard cutouts of Handsome Jack and tossed them in the furnace.

"Sorry about the mess. Everything Jack kills, he dumps here, bandits, Vault Hunters, Claptrap units. The bot said as it tosses another cut out into the flames. "If I sound pleased about this, it's only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I'm actually quite depressed!"

"Awwww, you poor thing," Gaige said as she gave him a pat.

"Now, the creatures around here are dangerous, none more than a Bullymong named Knuckledragger. Killed everyone I know. He's just one more reason you've gotta help me get out of here. I keep a few pistols in the cabinet over there for emergencies but, in here, we should be pretty safe."

Just then there was a loud roar as everyone looked around till they realize it came from above and looked up. A giant blue-skinned creature with white fur in several places, four massive arms, and short legs swung down through a hole in the ceiling. It then swung around the smokestack, falling right down towards Gaige. Axton thinking quickly grabbed the back of her hoodie and pulled her out of the way of the creature, which landed next to Claptrap.

Claptrap screamed and tried to run but the creature picks him up in it claw then shoved one of it other claws into Claptrap's eye and tore it out. The beast then jumps up and climbed out of the same hole it came in through.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that was Knuckledragger," Maya said as she got up from her cover. Gaige got off of Axton as they both fell back in the rush. While everyone else was looking at Claptrap.

The guns, the guns in the cabinet. He said as he pointed to a cabinet lying in a pile of snow and junk.

Axton walked over to the cabinet and opened it to have several pistols falling out. All of them were common grade guns but right now it was better than nothing. Everyone gathered around for a weapon when. Axton held a Tediore pistol out for Gaige. "No thanks, I already got one." she then pulled out her dad's gun and held it up to show.

"Damn, where did you get that?" He asked.

"My dad gave it to me. I'm just glad he had me store it in a normal holster or else I would have lost it." Gaige said as she grabbed some ammo.

They soon left Claptrap's place and started walking through the frozen glacier. They didn't have too much trouble as they followed the little robot and only had to deal with a few Bullymong's. About ten minutes later, as the group was pulling Claptrap out of a snowbank that he got stuck in, everyone's ECHO devices came on as a familiar voice was heard.

"Hey, kiddos. Jack here. president of Hyperion."

"Oh, well if it ain't the glorious leader himself. By the way, you missed all of us." Axton remarked.

"Well, you can't blame me for try to kill off a bunch of scumbags."

"Ugh, no. You're the scumbag, Gramps," Gaige said.

". . . What the. Who the kid?" Jack asked sounding both confused and irritated.

"That for me to know and you to find out you self-centered asshole."

Everyone was a little surprised that Gaige had the balls to insult a man who could literally kill them with the push of a button.

"Great another brat with a mouth," Jack muttered. "Look, lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunters shows up. Vault Hunters looks for the new vault. Vault Hunters gets killed, by me. Seeing the problem here? You're all still alive. So, if the lot of you could just do me a favor and off yourself, that'd be great. Thanks, Pumpkin." Jack said before he disconnected.

"Well that was interesting," Salvador commented.

"Let's just get the annoying robot out already," Axton groaned as walked away.

They soon managed to pull Claptrap free of the snow and continued onward. After cutting through an old Hyperion supply container they came to a large open frozen cove with a crashed Hyperion barge sitting up on the side. Claptrap suddenly stopped and started looking around frantically.

"Oh! My eye just switched back on!" He said excitedly. "I see several tough-looking minions and an incredibly handsome robot... Which means that whoever has my eye," he said as he started to get more frightened. "Is very close."

Just as he finished everyone heard a roar echoing around them. "LOOK!" Maya shouted as she pointed to a ledge. Knuckledragger was standing on a ledge above them, and on his chest was Claptraps eye. he turned and grabbed an old wrecked car then lobbed it at the group.

"Scatter!" Axton yelled and everyone immediately ran to get out of the way. The car hit the ground and exploded in a large fireball. Salvador was caught by the explosion which sent him barreling through several Bullymong piles till he stopped in a snowbank.

Axton yelled out to him, "Hey shorty, you dead?" Salvador's arm popped out of the snow with a raised middle finger in response.

Meanwhile, Gaige and Zer0 were both firing at Knuckledragger from behind the cover of a pile of wreckage, while the creature was throwing chunks of ice and metal at them and the others. Zer0 and Gaige both ducked as another large ice shard flew over them. "So any ideas"

"Go surround the target / Attack it from all sides / Then eliminate the target," the masked man said. Gaige just stared at him for a second. "That seems rather simplistic."

"I know it is / We need to act fast / Now get to work."

"I think my intelligence has just been insulted," Gaige muttered as she ran to the left of the creature. She went to jump over a pile of junk in order to get in position, only to discover Pandora had weaker gravity. "WOAH!"

She managed to keep her balance and land on her feet. "What the hell just happened?" Gaige yelled.

"Gravity is slightly lower on this planet," Maya yelled over to her. She took a few shots before she continued. "Though Pandora is about the same size as most inhabitable planets it only has about four-fifths the gravity of most."

It was at this moment when Knuckledragger charged at Maya who had been distracted. Maya saw this and back up into the cliffside as she kept firing her Tediore pistol which did little to the Bullymong's tough skin. Gaige also saw this and fired at Knuckledragger as well, but her shots didn't slow him down either.

Knuckledragger was about to plow headlong into Maya when Krieg jumped in the way and stopped the creature's charge. One of Knuckledragger's claws tore into Krieg's left shoulder, but Krieg didn't even seem to be phased by the wound and took that moment to pull out his Buzz Axe. "TIME TO BLEED!" He yelled as he brought the ax down on the mong's lower left arm. The blade started to saw through skin and bone as blood began to gush out. Knuckledragger let out a thunderous roar of pain as it used its free second right arm to punch Krieg, knocking him back. Knuckledragger looked down at its now dead arm, the arm was now nothing more than a limp bloody slab of meat hanging off of the creature by a few tendons. In an act of fury, the large Bullymong grab its useless arm and ripped it off, causing more blood to spray out and drench the snow red.

"Well, that just gruesome," Maya said, as she looked like she was about to throw up. Knuckledragger then proceeded to throw the arm away which hit Salvador who was just getting out of the snow. Salvador was knocked back into the snow pile by the force of the impact.

"Can someone give me a hand… Oh, wait. Never mind, I already have one." he yelled as he held the dismembered limb out of the snow pile.

Back to the fight, Knuckledragger jump up to the top of the cove. On the walls of the cove, there were several holes which Monglets started coming out of and jumped down to attack.

"Oh god! They're coming outta the wall-sphincters!" Claptrap yelled as he ran around flailing and screaming in terror.

As that happened three Monglet's had singled Gaige out. She had just finished reloading her gun when she noticed. Gaige took aim at the first one and fired at the first mong, nailed it in the head with the second burst. Gaige then fired several shots into the second Monglet and killed it, while the third one lunged at her. Gaige tried to shot it but only got two shots off before her gun clicked empty. "Crap!"

While the Mong was still in the air, Gaige quickly cocked her left arm back before threw a punch that intercepts the small creature square in the chest. It was the first time she had ever punched anything other than inanimate objects with her robot arm, so upon contact her fist sank into the little mong's chest, crushing the front of its rib cage. The rest of the inertia quickly caught up though as Gaige ended up launching the Monglet twenty meters from her till it hit the side of a crashed Hyperion barge with a loud bloody splat. Gaige stared at the spot it had impacted, and then looked down at her blood-covered robotic fist for several seconds. "...Neat."

In her moment of distraction, another Monglet jumped on her back and started to yank at her hair. "OW! OW! OW! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" she yelled as she struggled to get the small beast off. One of its claws raked her right arm making several scratches that started to bleed.

"SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS LITTLE BASTARD!" She cried out.

"Hold on niñita!" She heard Salvador yell. She suddenly felt the Monglet getting knocked off of her and heard it wailing as it went flying back over the cargo container they came through. "Uh, thanks, Salva- did you just use Knuckledragger's severed arm to hit that mong?" she asked Salvador who was holding the arm that Knuckledragger had ripped off. "I lost my gun, I had to use something," Salvador said with a grin before Gaige chuckled and turned back to the fight.

Most of the Monglets had been dealt with at that point when Knuckledragger decided to jumped back down and charged Zer0. It slams into Zer0 and sent him flying into the glacier wall. The assassin fell the ground and slowly tried to got up on his hands and knees as Maya ran over. "You okay?"

"This is getting ridiculous/We cannot keep this up/We need a plan." Zer0 said as he reloaded his weapon.

"Well, we're all open to suggestions!" Yelled Axton who was being whipped around by Knuckledragger while Gaige had started firing away nearby to try and help him.

"I got a plan, GIVE HIM THE RED!" Krieg yelled as he jumped from his cover charged at the massive beast. As he ran, Krieg throws his buzz-axe, only to surprise everyone as he seemingly pulls another one from behind his back and chucked it as well. The first one hits and embeds itself into the chest, just right of Claptrap's eye. The second one lodged itself into Knuckledragger's right upper arm causing him to drop Axton. Knuckledragger gives a roar of pain as Krieg grabs the other two arms and held him in place.

"Attack now!" Axton yelled as he, Maya, and Gaige started to fire at the same spot on Knuckledragger's left side. Zer0 charges around and takes several slashes at the Bullymong's right with his sword. Knuckledragger lets out another roar of pain until there was a loud, wet 'thwack' and the beast finally falls over dead as Krieg steps back. Everyone looks to see Salvador walk up to the dead beast and take a triumphant pose with his boot on the beast's head and the arm he used to club it with propped over his shoulder. Gaige immediately pulled out her ECHO and started recording.

"I am Salvador the Gunzerker. Vault Hunter and Beast Slayer! Bow before my might!" He yelled.

"Says the guy who got knocked on his ass twice," commented Axton causing Salvador's ego to deflate right there, as everyone but Zer0 laughed a little.

"That cold man."

After Gaige and Krieg used some inst-health to heal up their injuries the team search through the loot that Knuckledragger dropped, which wasn't much. They found Claptrap eye and Gaige offered to fix him right then and there but Claptrap rudely replied that optic surgery should be left to an expert, much to Gaige's irritation.

They made their way up to the barge which Claptrap tried to open, only for it to go into lockdown. Thankfully Angel who revealed herself to be an AI open the door. Inside they looted all the crates but the only noteworthy thing was an old Jakobs shotgun which Salvador laid claim too since he lost his pistol. After that, they all began to make their way to Liar's Berg.

X-X-X

In a small town called Rough Iron Ridge, Kai was sitting in his Runner by the train station. It wasn't a big town, only about twenty people live there. Hyperion didn't even bother the town because of just how small it was, the only reason it exists in the first place was that Dahi used to have a mine in the area. It had been almost two hours since Gaige's train was supposed to arrive. Now an hour late wasn't too strange but two, now Kai was getting worried.

His ECHO beeped and he quickly answered, "Gaige?"

" _No man. . . Wait, she hasn't arrived yet?_ " Reiss asked on the other end.

"No, and it's been almost two hours since her train was supposed to arrive."

" _Damn, well have you heard anything from her_."

"Not since she landed this morning. I've tried calling her ECHO a few times but it keeps saying it out of service range."

" _Well, there's not much we can do. Are you going to stay there,_ " Reiss asked.

"Probably, Roland said he didn't have any missions that needed our attention for a few days."

" _Well, I'll tell you what, if you haven't heard anything from her by morning I'll come out and will go looking for her,_ "

"Thanks, man. By the way, did you need anything or why did you call?"

" _Oh, just checking in, anyways I got to go. I've got plans here_ ," he said.

"Plans? Since when do you have plans?"

" _Since none of your business, that when_."

"Woah, touchy. Alright, we'll talk later then."

" _Alright, and Kai._ "

"Yeah Reiss?"

" _I'm sure she fine_."

"... Yeah, thanks, man. See you later."

" _Later_."

Kai ended the call and looked to the sky and sighed. "Dammit Gaige, where are you."

Kai then heard something and looked around till he saw Hati sitting next to the Runner, gnawing on an arm from one of the Bandits they killed earlier. "Hati! Spit that thing out, you don't know where it been!"

X-X-X

After about six hours of navigating the glacier, the band of Vault Hunters finally reached Liar's Berg. After killing about a dozen Bullymong's outside the gate Claptrap rolled over to the control box and tried to get in. After a minute he activated the comm box.

"Hey, Hammerlock!" Claptrap yelled into the control box. After a few seconds, a man who sounded stressed answered back.

" _Spectacular! first Captain Flynt's bandits attack, THEN Claptrap shows up! I must have been horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of treatment. Oh, wait, who are all of you?_ "

"Ugh, where all Vault Hunters sir," Axton replied.

"Vault Hunter's? OH thank heavens! I say, Vault Hunters, could you kill Flynt's men for me?"

Everyone looked to one another, Axton looked back to Claptrap. "Sure why not." He said as he got his Dahl pistol ready. The gate started to lift up… only to fall off it rail and fall over. This revealed about two dozen Marauders standing around the town. Both groups stare at each other for several seconds.

"... Vault Hunters! Let's wreck em!" yelled one of the marauders. They all began to spread out and open firing while the Vault Hunters did the same. "RED RUUUUUM!"Krieg yelled as charged straight in and started to hack and slashing several nearby Marauders with his buzz axe.

Gaige started trading shots with a pair of Marauders behind cover. After emptying the clip she ducked down behind an ice wall and started reload her Rogue.

"Come on out, little bitch!" She heard one of the Marauders yell. Gaige was about to retort when everyone's ECHO devices came on and Capt Flynt spoke.

"Got a proposition for ya, Vault Hunters. You give up, we'll just shoot ya in the head. It'll be quick, clean, and a hell of a lot less painful than what Handsome Jack'll do to ya." Flynt said over the ECHO.

"Pfft, fuck that," Gaige yelled as she shot a burst at one of the Marauders in the head. This cause the Bandit's head to explode in a bloom of blood, flesh, and bone. She quickly shot the second Marauder in the chest several times before he dropped. She was about to cheer when several pellets from a shotgun winged her right shoulder. She cried out in pain and fell over in sudden shock. She looked to see another Marauder with a Bandit shotgun with a large butcher knife like bayonet blade, aimed at her.

The Marauder pulled the trigger only for a loud clank to be heard. The Marauder tried to pull the trigger several more times only to finally realize it was jammed. Instead of trying to fix the jam the Marauder opted to charge at Gaige with the shotgun raised over his head so that he could strike her with the blade. Reacting to this Gaige tried to shot the Bandit, after four panicked shots she heard a click as she emptied the clip. She didn't have time to reload as the Marauder was now two meters away. She raised her left arm and managed to block the blade, mentally thanking her Mom for the pieces of ship grade titanium she gave her to build the outer casing of her arm. Then the Marauder stomped his boot into Gaige's stomach which caused her to yell in pain. "Aww, you gonna cry baby," the Marauder taunted.

"No, you are!" Gaige kicked her foot up and nailed the Marauder in the family jewels, as Marauder was attempting to bring the shotgun up to try and strike her again. The gun fell out of his hand as the Marauder started hitting the high note of a baritone as he screamed in pain. Gaige moved back and reload her Rogue, as the Marauder started to recover. "You damn bitch, I'm gonna-,"

BA-BANG! *

A trickle of blood started to run down the Marauder Jacket from the two newly formed holes right where his heart was.

"But... I'm so… cool," he said before he fell back dead into the snow. The snow around him started to be stained red as blood spilled out.

Gaige was panting and trying to catch her breath when she heard Claptrap give out a freighted shrill. "OH NO! Bullymong's!" yelled Claptrap.

About a dozen Monglet's and adult Bullymong's were jumping down from one of the glaciers cliffs that surrounded the village. 'Crap', Gaige thought as she got back up. She saw the shotgun the Marauder had dropped and decided to pocket it up and stow it before she got back in the fight.

She runs over to Maya who firing away with a newly acquired fire element Tediore SMG at several Marauders who were still fighting. Gaige was going to assist when she sees an adult Bullymong rushing Maya from behind. "MAYA! BEHIND YOU!"

Maya turned around to see the Bullymong's launch itself at her. Maya throws up her left hand as her tattoos started to glow. To Gaige's shock, a sphere of energy suddenly encapsulated the creature and it appeared to lock it in place. With a smirk, Maya lazily hosed the trapped Bullymong with her SMG causing it to burst into flames as it quickly began to screamed as it burned. The energy that entrapped the beast dissipated a few seconds later causing the creature to fall, only it never reached the ground as it turned to ashes.

Maya looked over to Gaige to find that she was gawking at her. "Holy shit! You really are a Siren!"

"Yeah, I know. Cool right." Gaige could only nod in response.

"Hey, ladies, less talk more killing!" Axton yelled as he ran by, several Bullymong's came chasing after him.

"Should we help him," Gaige asked.

"Nah, I'm still mad at him for calling me a fake. Let go help Sal with those last few Marauders," Maya said pointing to Salvador. He was for some reason standing on top of the town's bed and breakfast in a shootout with several Marauders all around him. Apparently, he ran out of shotgun ammo and had opted to chuck ice at them.

The fighting continued for several more minutes until everyone had finished off all the Marauder's and the Bullymong's were killed. Axton was mad at Maya for not helping him, but only got a few mild cuts and bruises for the Bullymongs attack so he just sucked it up. As everyone gathered back together Claptrap popped up out of a snowbank. "Are they gone?"

"All the bad meat sacks have fed my blade!" Krieg yelled as he waved his ax.

"Excellent! Hey, Hammerlock! Since my minion just saved your town, you wanna do your bestie Claptrap a favor and repair my eye?"

" _Yes, I suppose I am in your debt now, aren't I? Come to my shack, and I shall restore Claptrap's sight. First, I shall shut off the electrical fence for you_." Hammerlock said begrudgingly.

"Alright, vamanos, minions!" Claptrap yelled as he rolled towards a gated house.

" _Vault Hunters, please let Claptrap go first_." Hammerlock seem to say on only the Vault Hunters ECHO's

"I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually. Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's rib cage!" Claptrap yelled before running into the fence. Claptrap suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree as electricity arced across his body until he was fell back smoking with his tray popped open.

A few seconds later the door to the shack on the other side of the gate opened up. A man marched out he appeared to be in his 40's. He had a large bushy mustache that seemed to connect to his sideburns, and had on spectacle glasses, with a shattered right lens. His outfit consisted of a modern version of a Victorian style Safari outfit and had on a bush hat. The most noticeable feature was that both his right arm and leg were replaced with robotic prosthetics. Both seemed more skeletal in their appearance than the prosthetics Gaige's.

"Greetings, Sir Hammerlock at your service," He said as he gave everyone a salute.

"I must give you my apologies," he said as he jogged down to the gate and opened it. "but when Claptrap speaks, I feel my brain cells committing suicide, one by one."

"I think I can relate compadre," Salvador said.

After he opened the gate Zer0 gave Hammerlock Claptrap eye. Hammerlock took the eye and began to reconnect the wires and then screw it in. After it was in everyone noticed Claptrap was still off.

"Is he broken?" Maya asked.

"Hmm," Hammerlock thought. After a few seconds, he suddenly bashed his metal fist on the Claptrap body. This appeared to fix the robot as his eye lit up, and he quickly hopped back up.

"Ha-HA! I am ALIIIIIVE!"

"Oh dear, he talking again," Hammerlock groaned.

"Minions! Now I've got my eyesight back, and you're all far uglier than I remembered!" He said which earned him several vulgar responses. "Time to join up with the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary! This glacier's full of nothing but murderers or jerk bags, like that Hammerlock dude!"

"I'm standing right here, 'dude'!" Hammerlock remarked before turning back to the Vault Hunters. "Well I imagine the lot of you must be tired and starving, luckily I happen to have the keys to the inn. So just let me fire up the generator and I'll get you all a nice meal."

Everyone agreed that they could do with some rest and a meal. So the Vault Hunters all followed Hammerlock, talking about their kills and other things they did during the fight. Gaige was bringing up the rear when she noticed the Marauder she had shot in the heart. There was blood seeping into the snow turning it red and the smell of iron.

Gaige then looked around at the other bandit's she had killed. As she stared at the Bodies the realization of what just occurred started to settle in, of what she just had just done. "I-I killed them. I... killed these people." She then covered her mouth and dropped to her knee, she tried to hold it back but found herself throwing up what little she had in her stomach onto the snow.

Hey Gaige what-, GAIGE!" Maya screamed as she tried to run over and help the girl, but Axton stopped her. "What are you doing!"

"Relax, she fine. Just give her a few minutes. The kid needs to deal with this alone right now," He said as they watched Gaige throw up again.

X-X-X

It had been almost ten hours since Gaige's train was supposed to arrive and there was still no sign of her or any word about her that matter. Kai had been regularly texting her every hour… Or less.

Kai then noticed the old man who operated the station walking over towards him from the station. He seemed like a nice enough man from what few words they had exchanged earlier. Old as he may be though, just a quick looking at his body's build and Kai could tell the man was strong enough still to punch the head clean off a bandit. "Got any news for me old timer?"

"A little bit. It seems that Hyperion has the tracks closed off for their use. Some Express train or something." The old man said.

"Dammit Jack, what are you up to now," Kai mumbled.

"That not all," The old man commented. "According to word from down the line, there was a derailment of one of Hyperion trains."

This didn't give Kai a good feeling. he silently hoped Gaige didn't accidentally get on that train, but he couldn't be sure. "Any idea when the rails will be fixed?"

"Could be a few days, could be a month." Hyperion control's the area where it derailed," The old man said.

"Where would that be?" Kai asked.

"The frozen glaciers near Liar's Berg."

Now Kai was worried. Liar's Berg had been overrun by Hyperion a few months ago. The only person he knew that was still there was a hunter by the name Sir Hammerlock. Kai had talked to him a few times and had done a job for him once but he really didn't know too much about him. Well other than the fact that he once tried to make a pass on Reiss on a particularly drunken evening according to Lt. Davis and Moxxi.

"Well, thanks for the update sir."

"No problem kid." He said as he shuffled back into the station.

Kai was about to try Gaige for the… Well, he didn't know how many times now when his ECHO started ringing. He looked and saw it was Reiss again.

"Reiss, what up?"

" _Roland called, we got jobs to do_."

"Seriously, we were supposed to be given the next few days off."

" _Yeah well, this is an emergency, plus Roland is out to meet with one of our contacts. Anyways we had a few bombardments earlier that overtaxed the shield, so now the power core needs to be replaced. On top of that our usual supplier is currently out of stock. So now we have to steal one from the old refinery up north that the Gas Guzzlers control_."

"Right, I can meet with you in about ten hours at the end of Dahl turnpike 4."

" _Sorry, the core only half the problem, three of the field emitters are also in need of replacement. So you are going to have to hit the old Atlas Outpost near the Rakk Hills to get some_."

"Crap, I hate that place. Who brilliant idea was it to put an Outpost near an area that has over forty fucking Rakk hives," Kai asked.

" _Some five-year-old someone decided to make an admiral_."

"Right, I forgot how fucked up Atlas's military structure was. Well, I guess that means we're each going solo-" before Kai could finish he heard a soft moan in the background. "Reiss… What was that?"

" _Nothing! Just ugh, one of my videos_."

Before Kai could retort he heard a familiar voice speak up. " _Reiss come back to bed dear, you left me all alone. And it just so 'cold' without you_ ,"

Kai was silent for several seconds till he finally asked. "Moxxi? Is that you?"

" _Kai? Oh hello, Kai, how your day been sugar_."

"Wait but this would mean… HOLY SHIT REISS! You did! You finally manned up and asked Moxxi out! I'm proud of you brother." Kai nearly yelled.

" _Ugh, thanks, but actually-_ "

" _Actually~ it was me who made the first move, sugar_ ," Moxxi said proudly.

"Wait, but That would mean… Aww shit, I owe Roland a hundred bucks now. Dammit!" Kai yelled.

" _Wait, you and Roland made a bet on which one of us would make the first move!? What the hell man!_ " Reiss yelled as Kai could hear Moxxi laughing in the background.

"Actually that was just a side bet, I still won a bit of the group pot. Which reminds me Moxxi, Mordecai bet you guys wouldn't get together before the end of next month."

" _Ha, shows him. Morde missed his chance with me, besides I feel like I've won the jackpot with this cutie. The things this man can do with his tongue just make me_ -"

"MOXXI/ _MOXXI_!" Both Kai and Reiss yelled, as she just chuckled.

"Right, well then I better get going then. Be safe Reiss,"

" _You too. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Did you hear from Gaige yet_?" Reiss asked.

Kai sighed, "No, and the station manager told me that there was a Hyperion train that derailed near Lairsburg so the tracks are blocked, so at best she still stuck at a station down the line, at worse..."

" _No, Kai she is alive. Don't you dare start thinking the worst, okay. After all, we're talking about a girl who has the balls to cut off her own arm and then the skill to build a robotic one in it place. After hearing that, I'd be willing to bet she can handle herself_." Reiss said reassuringly.

" _I got a call from Hammerlock last week. Some of the Bandits in the area damaged the fast travel in the town. He was trying to fix it last time we talked but said it could take up to two weeks before it's fixed… Tell you what, I'll make a few calls for you and see if I can find anything about your friend's whereabouts_."

"You would do that Moxxi?"

" _Of course sugar, you're a dear friend and Reiss's little brother. So it only makes sense that I would help you out._ "

"Thanks, Moxxi, Reiss I'll talk to you later."

" _Right, be safe man._ "

"You too," Kai said. He looked over to the station and yelled. "Hey, old timer!"

"What do you want kid," the man yelled as he walked out onto the train platform.

"I have to go and deal with a job. Could you call me if you hear anything else about the train or the repairs."

"Sure kid, it not a problem. By the way, you're a Raider right?"

Kai looked with an arched brow. "I am, why do you ask."

"Just thought I'd ask. Keep the fight up kid."

"Heh, thanks old man," Kai yell as he started his Runner and quickly sped out of the town.

X-X-X

Gaige was currently sitting on a bed in one of the rooms in Fillion's Bed, Breakfast Bullets. She was working away on a spare part in an attempt to fix her gear so that she can be able to summon DeathTrap again. Even if she got the gear fixed tonight it will take anywhere from a day or two to finish loading the programs into her new ECHO.

After the adrenaline had finally worked its way out of her system the reality of her actions had finally dawned on her. She had killed another person, several people in fact. She wasn't sure what to think about it, sure they were just bandits out to kill her but they were still human, right?

She kept wishing she could contact Kai and ask him but since her original ECHO device was destroyed she didn't have any of her contacts other than her parents which she had memorized. On top of that, the connection to the ECHOnet was none existent out here. So since she couldn't call Kai to ask for his help on the dilemma, or to pick her up for that matter, she continued to try and distract herself. So far it wasn't working all that well.

Suddenly the part she was working on cracked in half and fell to the floor.

"Dammit" She yells as she throws the other half of the part in frustration at the wall. Gaige hears heavy footsteps and looked up to see Axton in the doorway.

"You okay kid? I thought I heard you yelling."

"I'm fine, I'm jus-just frustrated, and stop calling me kid," Gaige said as she picked up another part.

"Mhhh, I see."

He watched her work on the part as he leaned on the doorframe, this continues for several minutes till he spoke.

"Today was your first time, wasn't kid?"

"What are you talking about."

"The first time you killed someone."

Gaige froze on the spot unsure what to do or say. With a sigh, Axton came in and sat down on the bed next to her. "I know that look Gaige, don't try to hide it. God knows how many times I've seen that look."

Gaige drooped her head in shame as she thought about it more, mentally trying to stave off the impending conversation she knew was coming.

Look I get it, you're scared. You killed someone for the first time and you are not sure how you should feel about this. You have to understand that nothing in life is as simple as you think, especially here on Pandora. I hate to be blunt but for now on it going to be live or die out here."

"I don't know what your life was like before or why you choose to come to Pandora, but any kind of normal life you knew is over out here. I mean, when I was in the Dahl forces I thought I killed a lot. But the first day I got here I killed twice the number of people I did then in my first four missions out of training. God that was a crazy fight, the Bandits just kept coming and coming. Hah, this one moron who I caught off guard tried to rush me with a butter knife and…"

He only then noticed that Gaige had brought her knees into her chest and had buried her face into them. Axton mentally cursed himself as rub his neck as he tried to think of something to say. "You're not very good at this are you, tonto."

They both look to see Salvador standing in the doorway with Maya and Krieg peeking in behind him.

"Look, I'll admit that I may not be as smart as most people, but if there are three things I know it fighting, killing, and it how to deal with the effect of killing another person."

"Didn't you say that killing is the only fun thing to do on this planet." Maya chimed in.

"Well bandits mostly, but you have to understand that bandits are just mindless murderers and escorias.

"...Escoria?" Gaige asked.

"He means scumbag," Maya chipped in.

"What she said, and who's gonna miss a scumbag. Plus I swear these bandits must have their own New-U stations because there never seems to be an end to them. There like Threshers, you can kill a whole nest of them than a week later they're back in force, damn tentacles worms." Salvador muttered. "With that said, it wouldn't surprise me if you ran into the Bandits you killed again."

"Anyways there this old man back in my home village, he was an old gunslinger who could put a bullet between the eyes of a Skag from 300 meters from the hip, 700 meters if he actually aimed down the sight. I asked him once when I was little if he ever thought about the people he's killed. And do you know what he did?"

Gaige shook her head before Salvador continued. "He turned to me and told me of course he did, but if that person was a bad man who would kill without reason then they didn't deserve a second thought. I'm not saying you'll never ask yourself if you're a bad person, but I am not going to ask myself if it is right or wrong when you know the guy you killed will try to kill you without question. And plus, if it to protect your friends and loved ones, then it doesn't even matter."

Gaige reflected over Salvador's words. After a minute, Gaige finally got up and walked over to Salvador, and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Thank you Sal."

"Anytime niñita." he said as he returned the hug.

Gaige stepped back and wiped away a tear. "I think I'm ready for some dinner now."

"Come on, we saved you a bowl of Hammerlocks stew," Salvador said. Gaige nodded as she wiped a few tears from her eyes, as Salvador guided her out of the room while everyone else followed them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rebel Anarchy Loot Guide
> 
> Note: All gun statistics are based on Level 50 weapons stats.
> 
> The Clementine:
> 
> Manufacturer: Jakobs
> 
> Weapon type: Assault rifle
> 
> Weapon Grade: Red/Mythic
> 
> Flavor Text: When ya pull a gun, kill a man.
> 
> Description: A weapon with a powerful punch and higher than the normal damage of a Jakobs assault rifle. It shots have nearly twice the velocity of a normal Jakobs weapon, giving it rounds the ability to penetrate several unshielded Targets ( Similar to Zer0 B0re ability ). Rounds also have a 35% chance of ignoring shields and if it does penetrate the shield it gains a 100% Crit bonus. While it is a powerful weapon, it has several drawbacks. It can't be fitted with a scope so one is strictly reliant on iron sights. Also, the clips ammo count cannot be altered whatsoever by personal skills, class mods, or Relics. The Clementine still retains the Semi-auto fire ability as any Jakob's weapon. Also if the round does bypass the target's shield it cannot penetrate and hit another target like with unshielded targets. Finally, it cost 2 ammo for each shot as it needed the extra material to construct the more powerful rounds.
> 
> Appearance: The Clementine looks like an M1 Garand rifle, the texture is similar to that of a legendary Jakob Hammer Buster rifle.
> 
> Stats:
> 
> Damage: 28547
> 
> Accuracy: 95.0
> 
> Fire Rate: 17.9
> 
> Reload Speed: 2.8
> 
> Magazine Size: 16
> 
> Bonuses:
> 
> 100% Crit bonus
> 
> 100% Crit Bonus when the target's shield is penetrated.
> 
> X-X-X
> 
> Rogue Smuggler:
> 
> Manufacturer: Dahl
> 
> Weapon type: Pistol
> 
> Weapon Grade: Blue/Unique
> 
> Flavor Text: Han shot first.
> 
> Description: The first round of the weapon will have a 300% critical hit bonus. If the first shot earns a Crit every shot after will have a 50% critical hit bonus. Also, the Burst Fire only has a two-shot burst instead of the typical Dahl three-shot burst.
> 
> Appearance: The Rogue Smuggler has a polished gunmetal gray finish, while the grip is made of dark mahogany wood. There is an image of a Falcon with its talons out and wings spread as if it were frozen at the moment before it struck engraved on both sides. It parts consist of all Dahl parts with the exception of the grip which is a Jakobs grip, and a laser sight mounted under the barrel.
> 
> Stats:
> 
> Damage: 8216
> 
> Accuracy: 94.0
> 
> Fire Rate: 11.3
> 
> Reload Speed: 2
> 
> Magazine Size: 16
> 
> Bonuses:
> 
> 300% Crit Bonus for the first bullet in a mag
> 
> 50% Crit Bonus for each shot after the first shot, if the first round hits.


	6. Welcome to Pandora Kiddo - Part Two

It was the third day since Gaige had arrived on Pandora, and the Vault Hunters finally felt ready to strike Flynt's base. They decided to spend the day before gathering supplies and gear since the only good weapons they had was the uncommon Tediore SMG that Maya stole off a dead Bandit, an uncommon Jakobs rifle that Zer0 found in the trash of all places, and Gaige's Rogue Smuggler. Plus there was the fact that none of them had shields. Upon this observation, Hammerlock suggested they get some shields at the old Crimson Raider outpost. While they were at it, he offered them several other jobs that he would pay them for.

So they went about business, which consisted of killing a lot of Bandits, killing a lot of dangerous creatures, killing a midget riding a Bullymong, and getting a lot of loot. On top of that, almost everyone had managed to get their personal tech working, all except for Gaige's. She was still waiting for the files to finish installing on her ECHO, meaning that DT was still out of action for now.

"Alright, guns," Axton asked.

"Check," came Zer0 as he loaded his uncommon Jakobs sniper rifle he got from Hammerlock.

"Ammo," Axton continued.

"Heh heh, check," Salvador said as he chuckled sadistically as he was pocketing several cases of assault rifle ammo.

"Shields?"

Maya gave Krieg a light Siren boosted punch to the chest causing the area around the impact to flare with energy. "Ha, that tickles my rib cage," Krieg said.

"Shields are a check," Maya said.

"Okay, tech?"

Gaige sighed, "All except for mine," Gaige said disappointingly.

"Right… Look Red I'm sure you're robot will be ready. But for now, will make do with what we have." Axton said.

"I know, I just wish I had DT here," Gaige said as she loaded her Bandit shotgun.

While her combat experience was starting to grow, fighting in general, was still very new to Gaige. The others had decided to take it upon themselves to try and teach her some relevant combat skills. They were all just thankful she knew how to at least operate and properly use a weapon. Though they suggested that she stick with a shotgun for now though. As everyone found out the day before, her aim with any other weapon aside from her dad's gun was... lacking.

Just then Hammerlock came into the bed and breakfast. "Excellent, I see that you are all almost ready for your impending and climactic fight with Captain Flynt and his men. Anywho, when you all are ready just talk to Claptrap, and he'll lead you to Flynt's ship,"

"Wait? Aren't you coming as well?" Gaige asked which caught everyone else attention and they all turned to the man in question.

"As much as I would enjoy fighting alongside each of you, I have to stay here and fix the Fast-Travel station. That could take me a few days to finish." Hammerlock replied.

"Why it's not like anyone lives here anymore," Salvador pointed out.

"True, but you never know when you might need to come back here. I myself will probably make an expedition out here again to observe the effect of frigid weather on a Rakk Hives," Hammerlock reply, which caused Salvador to pale.

"Are you insane amigo! Why would willing get close to a Coño monstruo!?" Salvador said, only to be suddenly whacked in the back of his head by Maya. "Don't you dare use such a disgusting name!" Maya said.

"But it true, if any of you saw one you would all also say it looks just like- OW!" Salvador yells as Maya hits him again.

"Ugh, I don't speak Truxican, so can someone tell me what-" Gaige started to ask.

"NO," Maya curtly replied as everyone but Sal looked at her.

"While one the one hand I do have to agree with Salvador's observations," Hammerlock said, which earned him an angry glare from Maya. "Um, I have to agree with Maya that such a name is very immature. Anyhow, I wish you all good luck on your mission and hope to see you all in Sanctuary very soon. With that, I bid you a good day." Hammerlock quickly left leaving everyone in the room.

No one said anything for a minute as the tension was still thick in the air. Gaige finally broke the silence and asked. "Could I seriously get a translation here?"

Salvador opens his mouth before Maya pointed at him. "Tell her and I'll liquefy your brain," Maya said causing Sal to quickly shut his mouth.

Several after everyone had finished gearing up they went outside to find Claptrap sitting by the bounty board.

"So Claptrap, what can you tell us about Captain Flynt," Axton asked.

"Flynt and I have had a gentlemen's agreement in the past. I give him the loot from the bodies Jack ditches in the glacier, he promises not to torture me for hours at a time, then he does it anyway. But that ends today! We're gonna take him out, steal my ship back, and sail to Sanctuary!" He exclaimed.

Axton and everyone looked at the robot in a waiting manner. "What, that it. No tactical data, no preferred weapons or tactics.

"Ummm, nope. Not really. Besides your just going to shot him in the face anyway. So with that said, Let's go this way!"

They started making their way out of the town when Captain Flynt's came over the open ECHO channel.

" _Here's what's going to happen Vault Hunters, my first mate Boom Bewm is gonna kill ya, Jack's gonna pay us, and I'm going to play hopscotch in your chest-cavity_."

"Well that was a colorful description," Maya said.

"Be careful taking down Boom Bewm. He's one of the 'Ripper' clan. As in, flesh ripper. I don't have to tell you why they're called that." Claptrap said.

"Yeah, just spare us the details," Gaige said as the ECHO came alive again. Only this time it was to everyone's displeasure, Pandora's number one asshole.

" _Hey! How- Ah, these pretzels suck… So, how's your day been?_ " Handsome Jack asked.

"Well it was fine till you called pendao," Salvador said.

" _Sorry about that, it just we all haven't really talked much since I left you all for dead. Speaking of dead, I found some very interesting info on all of you. Especially you kid, or should I say, Gaige. I have to say the report on you was hilarious. To think you're the one who brutally killed the Holloway family's only daughter with a floating death robot. At a high school science fair of all places. Just wow_ ," he said as everyone could hear him slowly clap his hands.

"Wait is he talking about the same Holloway family the owns Edan Three through eight?" Axton asked.

" _The one and the same, and they have put quite the bounty on her head too. I mean my goodness that a lot of zeros. Anyways, I gotta go. I just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I'm rich. So, you know. That's cool. Kay, bye_."

Gaige looked to everyone else who staring at her. "So you killed the Daughter of one of the richest man in the universe… Why?" Maya asked.

"You think I wanted to kill her, sure I may have wished she was dead several times but I didn't want to kill her. It was accidental. She shoved me and DT reacted with a slash, which… which caused her to explode,"

Everyone stared at her for several seconds till Salvador burst out in laughter. "That is awesome niñita, now I can't wait to meet this robot of your."

"Wait, so you guys aren't disturbed by this?" Gaige asked.

"Not really, I mean I'm here because I used a dignitary to find and blow up an enemy base. With the dignitary still inside. Really, they should have given me a medal for eliminating the weasel." Axton said thoughtfully.

"I killed the man who helped raise me when I found out that he and the order he was part of were actually using me as a tool of fear to control a planet's population," Maya said.

"Damn, that heavy," Axton said as Maya nodded.

"I am an assassin / I kill for a living / and I enjoy it," Zer0 said.

"I once killed an entire clan over a simple bar tab, that was a good fight, I actually ran out of ammo," Salvador said as his thoughts drifted back to that bloodbath. "Good times,"

"I paint Bandits red and blue," yelled Krieg.

"You see Red, we each have done way worse things, besides from how you explained it, it sounds like that bitch got what was coming to her," Axton said as Zer0 and Maya both nodded in agreement."

"Huh, well I guess if you guys are cool with it," Gaige said.

"Enough, chit chat! I want to shot something already," Salvador said.

After hiking through two Ripper outposts and eliminating the bandits occupying them. They finally reach the entrance to Boom Bewm ship and got on the deck.

Not even five steps on to the deck and Claptrap suddenly starts freaking out. "It's Boom-Bewm! AHHHHHHHHH!" Claptrap yelled.

They all saw a man in a head to toe hazard yellow suit with a welder's mask with multiple blades sticking out of the top of it. He also had a fire hazard sign strapped to his chest and had several grenades on his belt and what appeared to be several rockets strapped on his left wrist.

"Light the fuses, bitches!" Boom yelled before taking a quick action pose. At that same moment, a small midget in a similar outfit and a jetpack flew by in a superhero pose. Seconds later sparklers start firing off behind Boom as he threw his right fist up. "I'm ready to BLOW!" he yells as he took a seat in the control chair of a large double-barrel cannon turret.

"Boom-Bewm are actually two separate people!"Maya said.

"Forget that, that a fucking capital ship turret!" Axton yelled before everyone glanced to Claptrap. "Oops, I forgot to mention that, didn't I. Sorry minions."

"Dammit Claptrap, get to cover," Axton yelled as everyone ran behind cover as Boom fired both cannons.

Gaige, Axton, and Maya got behind an oddly place smokestack, while Zer0, Salvador, and Krieg took cover by as similar smokestack on the opposite side closest to the bay. Bwem flew over and started randomly tossing grenades everywhere. "Well, any ideas oh glorious leader," Maya asked.

"Well as long- "

Boom*

"As long as that cannon is operational we can't get to him. Maya, could you Phaselock that thing."

"Oh sure, let me just, Oh wait, it a hundred metric ton turret attached to a damn ship!" Maya yelled.

"Well sorry for asking, l wasn't expecting there to be a fucking battleship turret! So if you have a better idea just say it." Axton yelled back.

"Remove the head of the metal beast," Krieg suddenly yelled from his cover. Gaige peeked a look at the turret. "Krieg, do you mean Boom?" Gaige asked over the ECHO.

"Cut the yellow from the metal, then gut the yellow from all it meat!," He yelled back as the three looked at each other. "Yea, YEA! Krieg right, all we need is to do is knock him off that turret, then we can-," Before he could finish they all heard something drop down by them. They turn to see a live grenade next to them as they heard a laughing midget flying away.

"Oh shit," Axton muttered as Maya and Gaige jump up, each run in opposite directions. The grenade exploded and throw Axton five meters in the air before he landed flat on the deck face first. His shield took the brunt of the blast but he was feeling the fall. "I'm gonna feel that one later," he muttered as he slowly got back up.

On the other side of the deck, Zer0 had come up with another plan. "I shall distract Boom / Salvador will flank and attack / Krieg will cover you,"

"Finally a plan I can get behind," Salvador said as he cocked his Vladof assault rifle. "You got my back crazy man?" he asked Krieg.

"Time to go duck hunting!" Krieg yelled as he waved around his Tediore shotgun. Zer0 ran out of the cover and started running at Boom as he traversed his turret to take aim at Zer0 and fired. The first round flew too high and missed. The second round, however, sailed right through Zer0 and exploded several meters behind him.

"WHAT! Why you no go BOOM!" Boom yelled only to suddenly find a hail of bullets hitting him as Salvador started Gunzerking with his Vladof assault rifle and a Bandit SMG. "NOW, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!" he yelled.

"Way you damn little- OW," Boom yelled as Zer0 reappeared and fired a sniper round into his chest. His shield ate the round, but he still felt the force of the impact.

Gaige and Maya saw this and took the opportunity to also fire at Boom until Axton who had been supporting from the middle yelled out. "Psychos Incoming!" About a dozen or so Psycho's started to rush out onto the deck from the wheelhouse.

Bring her attention to the new threat, Gaige fried and nailed one of the Psycho's in the chest with a blast from her shotgun. A second Psycho jumped at her from her left. She managed to jump away causing the Psycho to miss as his ax buried itself into the deck. The Psycho tried to pull it out only to find the ax was stuck. He turned to Gaige and was silent for a few seconds. "LET'S AGREE TO DISAGREE!" He yelled.

Gaige lifted her shotgun and blasted him in the face. "Damn Psycho's," she muttered. Just then she heard something hit the steel deck and an explosion went off a few meters behind her. Her shield took the damage but reduced it to ten percent. She looked and saw Bewn flying away from her yelling boom several times over. She quickly to cover and found Maya also taking cover. Her right arm had a large bleeding gash that ran diagonally from her shoulder to her elbow. "Maya! What happened!"

"Bewn flew by and distracted me with several grenades. I had to roll out of the way to dodge them but I ran into a Psycho and got this." pointing to the wound.

"Bewm nearly cooked me with one a second ago," Gaige said as she picked up an insta-heal and jab it into Maya wound. "Have you tried Phaselocking him?"

"Was trying to while Axton's turret was covering me but he just moves too fast, and several Bandits attacked me at once," she said as Gaige finish patching her.

Just then there another set of explosions, they both looked to see Salvador trying to get up, while Axton was running over to help him up. " Oh no," Maya said. Gaige looked and saw Boom bring the turret to bear on both Sal, Axton and now Krieg who was also running over to assist. "GUYS LOOK OUT!" Gaige yelled. But it was too late, Boom fired and both rounds hit right next to them. Krieg was thrown back by the explosion, and Maya pulled Gaige down to avoid the falling shrapnel. A few seconds later they looked back over. They saw Zer0 dragging Krieg to cover, but… but there was no trace of Salvador or Axton.

"Salvador/Axton!" Gaige and Maya cried out.

They all could hear Boom taunting, "BOOM, BOHOHOOM, BOOM! Ha ha hahaha!"

Gaige gritting her teeth pulled out an unmodded grenade. Using her left arm she threw the grenade as she yelled out, "Eat your own medicine you BASTARD!" The grenade flew and pegged Boom in the neck causing him to gasp in pain. He didn't notice as the live grenade fell to his feet a rolled to his left a little before it exploded. While the explosion didn't destroy the turret it did hurdle Boom into the air screaming. He soon landed at the rear of the ship.

Gaige reloaded her shotgun and started running towards where Boom landed only to have another grenade fall in front of her. "CRAP!" Gaige yelled as she jumped back. She just managed to get out of range of the main blast, but the edge of the explosion dropped her shield to half strength.

Maya rushed out in front of Gaige to cover her as more psychos started to come out. "Move it!" Maya yelled as she fired at the psychos with her SMG.

Gaige ran back behind the small barrier and started firing to cover Maya's retreat. She quickly joined Gaige as they continued to fire on the Psychos. "What now?" Gaige asked as she ducked down to reload and let her shield recharge.

"Well, with Boom gone all we have to do is shot down Bewm and eliminate these Psychos," Maya said. Not even three seconds after she finished there were several explosions that even killed two Psycho in the process.

They both looked to see Boom jumping back to the center of the deck. "Boom, bitches! I live!" he cried out in triumph as he raised his Torgue assault rifle in the air.

Gaige turned and glared at Maya. "Congratulations Maya, you've jinxed us."

"But I… you know what, fuck it." She held up her left arm and Phaselocked Boom in one of her energy fields. But before she or Gaige could fire, several Psycho's decided to charge at them. Bewm also landed on one of the smokestacks and began raking the area with explosive shotgun fire. Gaige threw another grenade and took out two Psycho's when it went off. That didn't slow down the rest of them as the Psychos all kept charging while yelling all kinds of crazy things. "French me, mommy!" Yelled one before Gaige shot him in the face, and then another and another. She quickly ran out of shotgun ammo and switched to her Rogue Smuggler. "Running low here," Gaige said as Maya fired her Tediore SMG, seconds later she threw it at a Psycho and blowing up in a small explosion right in his face. But the gun didn't respawn in Maya hands like it normally would. "Shit!" She said as she pulled out a Jakobs assault rifle. "Running low as well."

It was at that moment Boom was released from his prison, he immediately pulled out a Torgue MIRV grenade. "Bizoom!" He shouts as he throws the nade at them. Both women could see the grenade fly towards them and they realize even if they tried to run they would be shot by Bwem or minced by the Psychos.

"BATTER UP MEAT SACKS!" Krieg yelled as he ran in the way and swatted the grenade back to it sender. It exploded halfway back and rained several grenades down on some of the Psychos. The ensuing explosions of the child grenades tore four Psychos apart. Krieg then viciously charged into the group of remaining Psychos as he yelled, "The blue flower has taken my beating heart and my heart alone."

Gaige and Maya stared at the ensuing carnage as Krieg began to slaughtering the Psycho's as he started to sing Ring around the Meat Locker until Zer0 ran over to them.

"Krieg has the minions / Maya will end the flyer / Red will assist me," Zer0 said as he passed some SMG ammo to Maya.

Gaige looked between the two Vault Hunters. "Hey, I've been wondering. Is Red like a new nickname for me that you all voted on or something."

"Yes," Zer0 said before he charged forward after Boom, leaving both women shocked as it wasn't a haiku. "That was weird," Maya said as Gaige nodded in agreement. Another explosion snapped them back to reality and they both got back to the fight.

Zer0 started firing his Jakobs assault rifle at Boom while Maya went after Bwem. Gaige ran to Boom right side while he was distracted and pulled out her last grenade. "Hey, firecracker!," Getting Boom's attention. "Special delivery!" She yelled as she threw the cooked grenade. The grenade flew and exploded a meter in front of Boom which knocked him back several meters into a random steel beam sitting on the deck. "Lost mah shield!" He yelled. Gaige was about to charge in to finish the bastard off when she heard something land near her. She turned to look only to be given a full blast of explosive shotgun pellets that knocked her down and stripped her own shield.

Gaige looked to see Bewm in front of her about to unload another round to finish her when a Phaselock suddenly encapsulated him and lifted him two meters into the air. "What the, Nooooo! Let me out! Let me out! The nightmare has me!" Bewm yelled in a panicked frenzy. Before he could say anything else a hail of red tracers started peppering Bewm and quickly set him on fire. Gaige didn't dwell on what was happening and began firing with her Rogue as Maya continued to fire. The combined fire overload Bewn shield, but the fire continued as the midget screamed. A few seconds later the Phaselock ended and dropped the perforated, burned, and blood-soaked midget onto the deck in an undignified and bloody mess.

"Finally, that guy would not stay still," Maya said as she came over and help Gaige up. "Get down!" Zer0 yelled suddenly. Gaige and Maya quickly jump over behind one of the steel beams for cover as several rockets flew by and went off. "You killed my Boom buddy, now I'm gonna strangle you all with det cord!" Boom yelled as he started firing wrist rockets in every direction.

Gaige could see that his shield was back up, she thought about what to do. "Maya, are your powers charged?"

"No, I need another minute."

"Just distract him / I am in position / I have him. " Zer0 voice filtered through. The women looked at one another. "Got any more grenades?" Gaige asked. "Yeah two," she replied seeing where Gaige was going with this.

Maya handed her one of her grenades and they both moved back from the barrier and got ready. "One," Maya said as the both thumbed the primers, "Two, THREE!" Maya yelled as they both chucked their grenades. Boom who at this point was in a blind rage didn't notice the grenades landing next to him. They both went off and throw him across the deck into the side of the turret.

Maya and Gaige tried to rush out and surprise him but Boom just continued to fire guided wrist rockets at them as he got up. "Boom for you! Boom for you! Everyone gets a BOOM! UGH!" He suddenly yelled out.

Boom looked down to see a blue and black blade piercing through the front of his chest. He looked back up towards Gaige and Maya before his gun fell from his hand. "Boom, Boom, go… Boom…" he said before the blade was retracted and he fell forward to reveal Zer0 standing behind where Boom had been stood with a bloody katana in hand.

"Boom has been slain / as for our good friends / avenge they have been." Zer0 said.

Gaige fell back onto the snowy deck and let out a breath that she had been holding. Maya sat down on a nearby steel beam to catch her breath as well. Krieg who was finished with the Psycho's walk over next to her. "I can't believe it, only three days into this adventure and I watched two friends be killed," Gaige said.

"Gaige, don't beat yourself up, there was nothing we could have done," Maya said.

"I know, it just," she choked a little as tears started to form. "Do, do you think they suffered."

"A blast like that / it would have been quick / it would've been painless," Zer0 said, as he and Krieg both bowed their heads.

"Little man and G.I. Joe in better place now." Krieg said as everyone remained quiet. Which only last a few seconds when a gruff voice suddenly cried out.

"Aw man! The fight already over! You guys could have at least left me one or two Bandits! Not cool, amigos."

Gaige bolted up and looked around. Over near the entrance to the ship stood Axton and Salvador. Both of whom were perfectly fine.

Axton gave a long whistle as he inspected the area. "Damn, looks like a fucking orbital bombardment hit here," Axton said. "Hey, are you guys all- OWF!" Both he and Salvador were tackled to the ground by a red sobbing blur who had an arm locked around each of them.

"I can't believe it! You're alive! You're both actually alive!" Gaige happily cried out as she hugged them.

"Easy Red, I won't be alive for much longer if you don't let up with *cough* the robot arm," Axton coughed out as Salvador chuckled.

"How are you both alive? We saw Boom shot you with the cannon," Maya said as she looked at them in shock. Axton and Sal got Gaige to let go of them so they could get up.

"Well, one second everything went BOOM!" Salvador stated.

"The next we found ourselves back in Lair's Burg by the fast travel station. We then just ran back here as fast as we could," Axton finished.

"By the Fast-Travel… Wait are you saying you were teleported?" Maya asked.

" _No, they did actually die, they were just respawned,_ " came a female voice.

"Angel? What did you do?" Maya asked.

" _I hacked into Hyperion's New-U system the other day and enter all of you into the system, with a discounted rate might I add._ "

"Couldn't Hyperion track us that way?" Maya asked.

" _No, I made sure that your files were all encrypted and hidden from Jack or anyone else. If anyone does see the files, all they'll see is a couple of employee insurance policies for some random person_." Angel said.

"Damn girl! You are awesome!" Gaige said.

" _Thank you, Gaige._ "

"So does that mean we're like... immortal?" Salvador asked.

" _As long as you're in range of a New-U station, yes. Of course, I would advise that you avoid any reckless behavior and start abusing the system. No one is really sure how multiple deaths and respawns can affect one's mental psyche_."

"Uuuugh,"

"You can't be killed / but try not to die / or face more problems," Zer0 said.

"Oooh, okay." Salvador nodded in understanding.

" _Now find Claptrap and continue on to Flynt's base_."

"Alright then, Claptrap where do… Where's Claptrap?" Axton asked.

"Hey guys, hello. A little assistance here."

They went to the source and found Claptrap pinned under some rubble. It took them a minute to dig him out of the rubble.

"Many thanks minions. Wow, that guy sure said 'boom' a lot. Hey, it looks like he dropped a few grenade mods, be sure to equip them!" he said as he pointed to several items that Boom and Bewm dropped.

At the mention of loot, everyone rushed over to get a piece for themselves. Out of everything they found the best item was the Rare Torgue MIRV grenade which Axton claimed. Gaige walked over to Bewm and picked up an uncommon Torgue Stalker shotgun. It was only slightly better than her current shotgun but Gaige couldn't complain. She then shuffled through the grenade mods till she found a random uncommon Vadof grenade with white markings. 'Not the best but better than nothing' she thought as she equipped the mod without even looking at its stats. She then turned back to everyone else.

"So, are you guys ready to move out," Axton asked as he finished reloading his assault rifle.

"I'M RARING TO GO!" Salvador yelled excitedly.

As everyone walked over to where Claptrap was while Gaige was smiling to herself. 'that fight was awesome. I can't wait to tell Kai about it… I wonder what he doing right now. I hope he isn't too worried about me or something.' She thought.

X-X-X

At that moment Kai was cursing his luck as he continued to unload his Vladof spin-gun into a massive badass Rakk Hive. Unlike a normal Rakk Hive, this one was of the wooly variant that only appeared in this region and had a large horn on its head that it would use to try and spear its opponents. It also occasionally… breathed fire, which was a new one on him from what he knew about this breed of Rakk Hives. All the while, it kept releasing hoards of Kamikaze and Fire Rakks.

"This is some major bullshit!" Kai yelled as he ducks into one of the buildings. He quickly began to reload each of his weapons as he heard the fire Rakk's bombarding the building.

Just then his ECHO rang and he answered without looking. "This better be good because I'm kind of busy here," Kai said as he chucked a homing grenade out a window in the hopes of killing a few Rakk's.

" _Well, what crawled into your ass and died?_ " Reiss said.

"A Badass Wooly Rakk hive, THAT WHAT!"

" _A Rakk Hive? Why would you go into the fields_?" Reiss asked.

"I didn't, the bastard decided to set up shop in the middle of the outpost and it somehow has mutated so now it breathes fire! FUCKING FIRE!"

" _Oh… Well that sucks._ " Reiss said.

"No shit Sherlock!" Kai yelled as he finished loading a Vladof RPG. He then proceeded to kick out a window and fired almost a dozen rockets at the Hive's head. This caused the hive to shudder out a thunderous roar. "That right, Eat it ugly!" Kai yelled before he heard a beep that signaled that Hati was ready. Not even hesitating he tossed Hati's photon projector out the window. Hati materialized a few seconds later and immediately gave a spine-shivering howl that could wake the dead before charging at the Hive.

" _Was that Hati? He sounds pissed._ " Reiss said.

"Well, this would be the fourth time he has been called out in this fight and his last two outings. The first was cut short by its fire breath, and the second… well, it stomped him." immediately Reiss started laughing his head off.

" _That is hilarious. I'm so rubbing it in his photonic face later._ "

"Was there a reason why you called, because I'm kind of busy here." Kai said as he threw another grenade out the window.

" _Right, I'm finished here and have the new core. I stole a Bandit Stinger and I'm heading back to Sanctuary, unless you need some help_?"

"No, no, I got this. I'll see you back there tomorrow... Wait you got a Technical Stinger! How?" Kai asked with interest

" _I'll tell you after you get back and I get Scooter to load it schematic into the Catch-a-ride. Alright, I'll leave you to your business, try not to have too much fun without me. Later man,_ " Reiss said before terminating the call.

'Fun? That is the last thing I'm feeling right now!' He thought.

Just then he heard Hati give a warning bark from outside. Kai looked outside to see the Rakk Hive was looking right at his build and was drawing in a large breath. "Fuck!" Kai yelled as he ran for to the other side of the building just as the Rakk Hive unleashed a massive wall of flames that poured into the building. Before the flames could reach him Kai jumped and curled into a ball and smashed through a window. Though his foot caught the side of a barrel outside causing him to eat the dirt. Not even a second later a ball of fire exploded from the window.

Kai got up after the fire had died down and looked back at the burning building before he let out a tired sigh. "It like Morde always says, the only good Rakk is when its served on a platter."

X-X-X

The Vault Hunters had finally managed to reach the upper levels of Ripper's ship slash base see as it was partially impaled on a massive iceberg. The ship itself was some kind of converted cargo ship with sails and a massive metal dragon head on the prow that would shot a large stream of fire every few minutes.

After they had defeated Boom and Bewm they all had to bust through a nearby gate to reach the main base. Claptrap had the idea of using the cannon to blow it open. Salvador immediately called dibs and had fired before Claptrap finished explaining his instructions and moved out of the way, resulting in Claptrap being launched into the Ripper's base.

They then proceeded to kill all the guards on the other side of the gate, which was easy with the cannon. After which the Vault Hunters gunned their way into the main base where they killed every Bandit between them and Claptrap. When they did find Claptrap, he was being beaten by a group of Bandits.

While everyone else wanted to watch for a few minutes which Gaige could understand, She and Maya killed quickly killed the Bandits and freed Claptrap. After that, they had to fight their way into the ship itself, where they all discovered one of Claptrap's weaknesses. Stairs. So after fighting another four dozen Bandits including a dozen who were in a room that… Well, it better not to mention the purpose of such a disgusting room. But after that, they finally reach an elevator platform and were able to hoist Claptrap up to them. Leaving them to where they were now.

"So, what the plan this time Maya," asked more to Axton than anyone else since he had more or less been nominated leader at this point.

"Considering that we have six armed Vault Hunters all loaded to the teeth…" he glanced at Gaige who was sulking at the reminder that DT was still down. "Mostly loaded anyway… sorry, Gaige. I figured we would just wing it."

"Work for me amigos," Sal said.

They jumped down onto the deck which had dozens of large floor vents scattered everywhere. They looked around and saw nobody around. "Maybe we can just sneak around and steal Claptrap ship bef-," but Maya was interrupted before she could finish as Claptrap rolled out in front of everyone and yelled. "Come on out, Flynt! Your Claptrap unit has returned!"

Suddenly pillars of fire started to erupt from the vents all around them. Both Krieg and Zer0 had to jump out of the way of a vent they had been standing on mere seconds before.

"Claptrap, what the hell did you do!" Maya shouted. Claptrap pointed to the top of the command structure, everyone turned to notice a large man sitting on a throne at the top getting up. He was wearing a baggy yellow and gray heavy work suit of some type with thick gloves and boots. On his left shoulder was a spiked shoulder pad. Finally, he wore a metal helmet that looked like a knight's helmet with two demon-like horns protruding from the forehead and a cross shape cut out in it, the only thing they could see were two glowing eyes.

"It's our new torture dolls, boys! LET'S TURN UP THE HEAT!" He yelled waving an anchor that he drew from his back.

"Oh SPHINCTERS! I'm so sorry Captain Flynt sir. Please don't burn me again!" Claptrap yelled as he scurried off while everyone else started to fire at Flynt.

Flynt quickly leaped off the tower and fell ten meters to the deck. In his right hand was what looked like an oversized bandit assault rifle with a blast shield around the barrel and a nozzle with a lite flame. As he landed with a thud several hatches opened on the deck as killer Marauders and flame headed Burning Psycho's climbed up onto the deck.

"Aw shit," Axton said. "Krieg, Gaige engage the Bandits. Zer0 support everyone with sniper cover. Sal and me will support Maya who will trap Flynt when she can, and we will gun him down." He ordered as everyone quickly jumped into action.

Zer0 took up a position near the front of the ship and started sniping Bandits left and right. Krieg ran into the horde and started chopping Bandits left and right with his ax and occasionally shooting them with his shotgun while Gaige covered him. Axton, Sal, and Maya started to engage Capt Flynt. Of course, that's easier said than done. While Maya could Phaselock him it didn't hold him for very long. On top of everything else, the vents would all spew fire every few minutes or so meaning everyone had to watch their step.

Gaige was just killing her thirteenth Bandit when Sal flew by and impacted the mainmast before falling to the deck. Gaige holstered her Rogue and ran over to help him. "Sal! You okay?"

"Ugh, yeah niñita, I'm fine. That pedaho is one tough hombre. We just keep shooting and shooting but he doesn't go down. Plus fire doesn't seem to work on him." He said as he pointed to Maya who was firing away with her Jakobs rifle since her SMG was fire-based. Axton was nearby and throw his Sabre turret out again.

"GAIGE, LEFT!" Sal yelled. Gaige whipped her Rogue out and pointed straight at a Marauder and shot him twice in the head. "How many of these guys are there?" She asked as Sal got back up and picked up his guns.

"Oh stop complain, this is fun and you know it!"

A vent two meters from them suddenly bellowed another column of flames. Several seconds after it stop" Krieg came running by with his right arm and back on fire while yelling, "The voice tells me to pound my flesh on the deck!"

' ** _No! I told you to stop, drop, and roll!_** ' yelled Krieg's inner voice, as Sal and Gaige watched him run by. Then two Burning Psycho's came running after him. "Yeah, I'll have to get back to you on that, Sal," Gaige said, as she started to ran after Krieg and the Psychos.

She caught up to Krieg and found him rolling around on the deck trying to put the fire out as the Psychos were danced around as they watched him burn. "Feast your nose on the scent of freshly cooked meat brother!" One said. "I call dibs on his face!" the other said.

Gaige pulled out her Torgue shotgun and blasted the one Psycho in the back. This caused the other one to jump and turn around to see Gaige. "You killed my twin! Now I will eat you!" *BANG* The bandit's head exploded as Gaige shot it.

"Ugh, I'm no one's dinner asshole. Krieg, you okay?"

Krieg had some first and second-degree burns on his right arm. "I need blood drink," Krieg stated.

"Wh-what do you mean by blood drink?" Gaige asked slightly off-put by Krieg's chosen words. The next thing she saw was Krieg pulling out his Bandit pistol and shoot it several times over her head causing her to flinch. "What are you trying to do, scare me to death!" Gaige yelled. Krieg just pointed behind her.

Gaige looked behind her to see a Psycho shot several times laying on the ground. ". . . Oh, ugh thanks, Krieg,"

' ** _Okay now be nice and tell her you're welcome._** ' Krieg's inner voice said to him.

"The voice in my head says to tell you No problem, little blood flower," Krieg said causing Gaige to raise an eyebrow.

' ** _Ugh, nice one. Will be lucky if she gives us the time of day after this one,_** ' Krieg's inner voice said.

It was then Gaige noticed that the dead Psycho had dropped a red insta-heal vial. "Was this what you meant by Blood drink," she asked as she picked up the hypo and held it up. Krieg grabbed the vial and held it over his right arm. Then he crushed it in his hand and let the red liquid wash over his wounds which quickly began to mend itself.

"Thanks, lady of red for the blood juice," Krieg said before he whipped out his ax and ran back into the fight.

"That guy just a big child," Gaige said to herself. There was a sudden explosion back towards the stern of the ship. Gaige looked to see a smoke cloud dissipating. Stand in the middle of the cloud was Captain Flynt, but he didn't look normal. His body had flames dancing all over him, yet they didn't seem to burn him.

Axton threw his Sabre turret out again and he started firing burst after burst with his Dahl assault rifle while the turret also shot. However, all of the shots seem to have little to no effect on Flynt as they all seemed to just bounce off of him. Flynt began to run towards Axton and pulled out his anchor. Axton saw this and immediately jumped out of the way as Flynt barreled through his turret causing it to shatter. Flynt then brought his anchor down and slammed it against the deck. This caused a concussive shockwave that knocked Axton several meters away.

Before Flynt did any else, a fury of bullets started to hit him in the back. He turned to find Maya holding a smoking Jakobs rifle. It was only after Maya finished shooting that Flynt fire shield wore off, while Flynt turned to stare at Maya. Maya realized the spot she was in and just nervously laughed, "Maybe we can just… Talk about this."

After another pause, Flynt brought his rifle up and shot a stream of fire from it. Maya being near a large torn section of the deck jumped over the side to avoid the fire and fell down onto one of the lower walkways they had climbed up before. Of course, this meant Maya would have to run all the way back up to the top.

Salvador took this opening and started to gunzerking with his assault rifle and SMG.

Flynt tried to fire back but was quickly being overwhelmed while Salvador just laughed. "HAHAHAHAHA! EAT LEAD PUTA!" Salvador yelled happily. A second after saying that Salvador was suddenly engulfed by a Pillar of fire from the vent he had mistakenly walked over. When the flames receded Sal was standing there with burns all over his body. "...Ow" he said before he fell over dead and his body began to dematerialized as it was being sent to the nearest New-U station.

"Not again Sal," Gaige said disappointingly.

"Gaige! Focus!" Axton yelled to her as he started to get up.

"Oh, right."

Gaige started to unload with her shotgun as Axton swapped to a bandit SMG. Gaige emptied the magazine and quickly started to reload when she heard something to her right. She looked to see a Psycho running at her with a fiery buzz ax. "Come to me, my pasty cake!" he yelled as he leapt into the air. Before Gaige could react a bullet pierced the top of the Bandits's skull and knocked him away from Gaige. She looked around for the source of the shot and saw Zer0 up on the mast with his Jakobs sniper in hand. "Thanks, Zer0!" A smiley face emoji appeared on his helmet before he turned to continue shot the other Bandits on deck.

Once Gaige finished loading her shotgun she ran over to flank Flynt as he was trying to barbeque Axton. She swapped to her Rogue and took aim at his head. Axton had managed to deplete Flynt's personal shield a moment before. So She quickly took the chance shot out several two-shot bursts aimed right for his head. But to Gaige's shock, the round just bounced off of his helmet without even leaving a dent.

"What the hell!"

"Gaige his helmet is too strong. Don't go for the headshots," Axton yelled from behind a crate.

"Now you tell me!"

Flynt turned and fired his assault rifle toward Gaige. She starts to run for the nearest cover, while Axton starts to shoot at him to no avail. "Get back here Little girl! I'm gonna have fun torturing you!" Flynt shouted as he chased after her.

As Gaige ran she pulled out a grenade and chucks it behind her without looking. About three seconds later instead of a boom Gaige heard a loud bang and what sounds like falling glass. She stopped and looked back to find an unexpected surprise. Flynt was now standing immobile as he now looked like an ice sculpture. A horrifying, nightmare-inducing ice sculpture that is. Axton walked over and looked at Flynt as Gaige stared at the frozen pirate with a dumbfounded expression. "How the hell did I do that?" Gaige asked. Axton looks at the grenade mod on her belt and quickly grab it.

"HEY!" Gaige said as she tried to grab it back, but Axton held her back with one hand as Gaige flailed for it.

Axton looked at the mod for several seconds. "Huh, this is a Vladof cryo grenade. Where did you get this?" He asked as he handing it back.

"Off of Bewm," she said as she clipped the grenade back to her belt and looked back to Flynt. "Hey, you think I could win an ice sculpture contest with this," she asked jokingly causing Axton to chuckle. It was then that they noticed that the vents started were starting to shot fire again and it was also at that moment that they both realized Flynt was standing on one such vent. A second after realizing this a tower of flames sprang up and engulfed Flynt, while Gaige and Axton shielded themselves from the sudden heat. When the flames ended they both looked to see Flynt standing there unfrozen and seemingly unphased by the fire and ice.

"Oh fuck," said Axton.

Flynt pulled his anchor and slammed it down in front of them and knocking them both back several meters. "You think a little ice will stop me! Think again Vault Hunters!"

Both Axton and Gaige got up quickly as Flynt started firing with his assault rifle. "Well chew on this then!" Axton yelled as he tossed his turret out again. Flynt raised his anchor to use as a shield to block some of the fire. Gaige pulled out another grenade and throw it right at Flynt. Unfortunately, Flynt saw this and merely took a step back letting the cryo grenade sail by and land several meters away from him, where it exploded harmlessly.

Trying again, Gaige pulled her last grenade and aimed lower so that it would land at his feet. "Nade out!" She threw it a second later and sure enough, it landed by Flynt's feet. However, it was at that moment when Flynt decided to go pyro again. The heat combined with the sudden cold caused a sudden explosion of steam that blanket the area and blinded both of the Vault Hunters.

"Where is he?" Axton yelled.

"I don't- OWF!" Gaige suddenly found herself being nailed in the gut by side of Flynt's anchor which set her flying back into a wall. Though the impact was absorbed by her shield it completely depleted it. She also lost her shotgun somewhere in flight. Gaige shock off the shock and looked up to find Flynt standing over her.

Gaige tries to reach for her Rogue but Flynt stomped his boot down to painfully pinning her right arm down. Gaige began to scream out in pain as the steel boot dug into her skin. She tries to punch his leg with her robot arm but this did nothing but seem to annoy him more. She could hear Axton and Zer0 yelling her name in the background as she looked up at Flynt's red eyes. 'I'm so fucked' Gaige thought. She knew that thanks to Angel she would be respawned but she still didn't want to know what it feels like to die.

Flynt lifted his anchor over his head and could now hear Maya and Salvador's voices in the distance. Everything seemed to slow down as Flynt started to swing. Gaige not wanting to see this shut her eyes tight and throw her left arm out in a vain attempt to block the incoming attack. It was at that moment she heard the familiar sound of a Digistruct, and then the sound of metal impacting metal as she felt the weight of Flynt boot coming off of her arm. Was she dead? Had she already respawned at a New-U?

It was then Gaige heard several familiar electric whistles and beeps. Gaige's eyes shot open and looked up to see a stunned Captain Flynt with his raised anchor being held by a large metal claw that belonged to a large floating, legless, robotic torso with a single glowing red eye. "DT!" Gaige screamed ecstatically.

"Wha- what the hell is this!" Flynt stuttered with fear in his voice as he took several steps back.

DT pick Gaige up by her hood and gently set her on her feet. "This is DeathTrap or DT for short. He is a Mechanized Anti-Bully Deterrent unit designed by myself to protect me from scum like you. DT," the robot looked to its creator giving an affirmative whistle. "Now then, rip this Ripper a new asshole boy," Gaige said with a smile.

"Wheraaarrr!" DT responds as he ripped the anchor out of Flynt's hand and punched him in the chest, knocking him back several meters. "What the fuck!" Flynt yelled. "Screw it! I'll kill all of you, and then I'll hang your entrails around my cabin like tinsel!"

"Not happening tin head! Light him up DT!"

DeathTrap fired a concentrated stream of electricity from his mono eye at Flynt, at the same time Gaige pulled out her Rogue Smuggler and started peppering him with bullets. Flynt aimed his gun at Gaige and shot a jet of flames at her. DeathTrap quickly moved in front of Gaige to shield her from the attack. While this didn't do too much damage to DT, it did give him the appearance of a demonic monster as flames danced on his body. As soon as the flames stopped, DT rushed forward towards Flynt and drew his left arm up as three glowing Digistruct claws formed. He came down with a diagonal slash that ripped into Flynt's suit. Flynt was still standing but now breathing heavily as Blood spewed from his new wounds. "Ugh, dammit BITCH! I'm gonna rip your heart out and crush it in front of your eyes!"

"You're welcome to try asshole, but you'll have to get through DT first! Finish him, boy!" With that DeathTrap unleashed a fury of slashes with his claws for the next several seconds. Flynt tried to go into his pyro form to protect himself, but this did little to impede the onslaught. After about twenty seconds DeathTrap stopped its attack. Flynt looked like he had a fight with a shrapnel-filled blender and lost. His right hand was cut off, he had several dozen cuts and even some scars on his helmet. Only his left eye could be seen glowing in his helmet.

"You all will rue the day you crossed paths with Captain Flynt, mark my words, you will all choke on my flames before this day- UGH!" DeathTrap trap stabbed all six claws into Flynt's torso and lifted him into the air as Gaige walked over. "Choke on this asshole," Gaige lifted her Rogue and put a single two-shot burst into Flynt's neck. Everyone could hear him choking on Blood as it poured from the new hole. Several seconds later, he stopped moving and his body went limp.

After several more seconds of silence, DeathTrap deactivated his claws and let Flynt's body fall to the deck whereupon impact several pieces of loot fell off of him. "HELL YEAH, THAT WAS SO HARDCORE! DT you are the bot! Show me some metal!" She said as she raised her robot hand up. DT happily gave her a high five as everyone else rushed over since Flynt's other minions were all either dead or had run off.

"That was awesome Senorita!" Sal said.

"Metalman makes nice meat popsicles," Krieg said.

"So this is the robot you've been talking about," Maya said.

"Yup. Everyone meet DeathTrap or DT for short. DT meet my new friends."

DeathTrap wave to them and gave an electronic warble hello. A second later there was a beep and DT dematerialized. "What happened?" Axton asked.

"What happened?" Axton asked.

"Oh, he just timed out. Like your turret. He'll be ready again after about a few minutes. Now, who wants loot!"

Everyone cheered and started running around and collecting what they could find. Gaige found an uncommon Hyperion SMG to along with the shotgun she had lost, and a unique Bandits pistol called Flynt Tinderbox. But since she still had her dad's gun she gave it to Maya since her Tediore SMG wasn't as cut out for the job as she thought.

After Claptrap met up with them he opened the door to the main superstructure in order to get to his ship. Inside they found part of Flynt cabin, where they found a red chest which they opened immediately. It had a rare Vladof spinigun called a Severe Minigun, which Salvador laid claim too. Krieg nabbed a rare Bandit triple barrel shotgun called a Red Stedy Room Clener. Axton even stole several Ripper flags calling them trophies.

Soon after they all boarded Claptrap boat at the rear of the Ripper's ship and quickly set off for Sanctuary.

_Several hours later_

With nothing to do for till morning as Claptrap told them all that the boat ride would take about fifteen hours, Gaige decided to pre-recorded the events of the day for her ECHO-cast. She had made one the night before where she managed to get everyone to introduce themselves. So she went to the ship's cargo hold to find a good quiet spot to record. Once settled in she didn't wasting any more time as she hit the record button.

"Hello, subscribers, Gaige here on the third day of my adventure on Pandora. It about 2120 Hours GST (Galactic Standard Time) and it's the middle of Pandora's night cycle. Anyways so I've had a crazy day today. Just straight off the wall through the roof crazy. So it started with us all gearing up." It took about ten minutes for Gaige to sum up the events of the day. "And now I'm sitting in the cargo hold of Claptrap boat on my way to Sanctuary with the other Vault Hunters. We should be landing in Three Horns by the morning and then it a two-hour walk there, so yeaaaa..." She paused for a moment as she thought about Kai. "God, I hope he isn't too worried… wait. Ohh, that right, I forgot to mention that!"

"So before the whole Marcie incident, sorry again. I had only two subscribers left, one of them being…" She was about to say his name when she remembered Kai wanted to keep his name on the down-low. "Uh, R3bel_Wolf who I've known for the last few years. He the one who helped me program DT's AI program and a few other things like the power to flow rate on DT claws. So he's been a good friend to me. Hell he a best friend really, who could always find time to chat and whatnot. Of course, I don't actually know him in person or really much about him even after all of this time. I imagine you'll be putting in the comments section, "But Gaige you shouldn't talk about personal stuff to random people on the ECHOnet!" or "Gaige he could be a predator,". Yeah yeah I know, I broke a major rule or whatever of the ECHOnet, and I know he could be lying to me. But I don't care. I'm willing to give him a chance considering a lot of things he told me and how much he has helped me over the years. Besides I have guns, I have DT, and he doesn't know I have five badass and heavily armed Vault Hunters with me. Let see any creep try anything now."

"Sorry got off track there. So during the trip to Pandora after I put up that first ECHO after the 'incident', Wolf invited me into a chat room and tried to help me as best he could… That is a major understatement, he literally decided to divert my focus by dropping a WTF bomb on me that blew my mind! He lives on Pandora! That right, he's on fucking Pandor-"

"GAIGE! What have I told you about that kind of language young lady," interrupted Axton's voice from outside the cargo hold. "You're not my dad Axton. Now go back to polishing your gun or spooning your beloved turret." Gaige said as she walked over to the hatch.

"HEY! I don't spoon my-" but before he could finish, he was cut off when Gaige slammed the hatch shut.

Gaige walked back to the crate she had been sitting on. "Sorry about that, Axton tends to act just like a second dad. Where was I, right. So yeah, Wolf lives on Pandora, I won't go into details for, reasons. But he's been helping me prepare for the different things to expect on Pandora. He lives in Sanctuary which means I might be able to meet him tomorrow, hopefully. If everything works out I'll get him to chat on my next ECHOcast, and I'll upload it along with the rest of the ECHO's I've recorded. which you are listening to right now anyways."

"He probably worried sick right now, because of Hyperion I can't connect to him. Plus I haven't been able to access my account to reload all of my data and contacts so that doesn't matter anyway. Damn you Jack Ass, for EMPing all of my stuff. And thanks again Mommy for the military hardened electronics for my arm. Oh and the titanium, that saved me big time on day one. Well, I guess I'll leave it there for this episode. Till next time everyone. Gaige out."

Gaige ended the recording and slumped back against the crate with a sigh. Letting her mind just wander a little. "So are you still serious about meeting this friend of yours," Gaige heard Salvador suddenly say. Gaige jumped in surprise and looked around the hold. When she didn't see anyone she got up to look around. When she walked by a large crate and find Sal sitting down on the floor with a large cloth laid out in front of him with a small tool kit. On the cloth was his new Vladof spinigun, completely disassembled and neatly laid out on the cloth. He was currently cleaning the barrels with an oiled cloth and a ramrod.

"Sal? How long have you been here," Gaige asked.

"About thirty minutes now."

"How did I… You know what, forget it. What are you doing here?"

"Uuugh what does it look like cleaning my guns."

"And where did you even get these cleaning supplies, everyone's gear was destroyed during the train explosion?"

Salvador held up a small SDU card. "My Abuelo gave it to me a long time ago, it a Dahl grade SDU meant for protected storage. Fireproof, waterproof, and EMP proof." Sal said with a grin. "I never go anywhere without it."

Gaige eyed the chip for several seconds before looking back to the short man. "And you never thought of storing a backup weapon or two in there?"

Salvador thought about it for a moment before he facepalms himself. "UUUG, estúpido. How did I never think of that." He was quiet for a moment and then just shrugged. "Whatever, can't change the past. Say, when was the last time you cleaned your guns, niñita."

"Ugh, I haven't yet," Gaige answered.

Salvador gave her a serious look. "Do you even know how to clean a gun?" He insinuated more than asked.

"Of course I know how to clean a gun. My dad won't even let me fire his gun before I know how to break it down and clean it."

"Do you know how to break down an SMG, a rifle, or any other weapon for that matter."

Gaige didn't say anything as her silence told Salvador everything he needed to know. So he gestured for her to take a seat and handed her a cleaning rag. "My Abuelo taught me almost everything I know about guns and told me to always clean a gun after a long fight or if you just looted a new one. So take a seat and give your gun a good cleaning," he said as he gestured for her to take a seat. Gaige thought about it for a moment until she finally sat down across from him and pulled out her pistol. Gaige then began to break it down and clean it as they both sat in silence for several minutes.

"So you never answered my first question," Sal said.

"Which was?"

"That friend of yours, you still serious about meeting him," Sal asked as he started to clean a gun barrel.

"I… I don't know. I mean yes I want to, but I'm also nervous that it could just be a big lie," Gaige said.

"Hmm… Oil please," Gaige passed him the gun oil before continuing to work on the inside rails of her gun. "Look, I may not have the experience with making friends and meeting new people. . . In a good way. But I do know you'll never know unless you don't try. And I hate not knowing. Besides, it sounds like he's the type of person you should at least give a chance."

"Yeah, and I intend to at least give him that," Gaige said as she started to reassemble her gun.

"Besides, it like you said, you're now friends with five badass Vault Hunters. If he tries to mess with you will just beat the little shit to death,"

"Nobody will mess with our team's mascot!," Came Axton muffled voice from another part of the ship as they could Maya and Krieg cheering in agreement.

"Wait, how did Axton and everyone hear us and when did you guys decide I was the team mascot?"

"For the first question, this boat isn't very soundproof. Second, we all voted on it this morning while you were still asleep," Sal said with a grin. The look of shock on Gaige's face quickly turned from embarrassment to anger. "I am so going to kill Axton." Gaige said.

"Wasn't me sister, Zer0 was the one who suggested it," Axton muffled voice said from someplace again. This shocked Gaige for several seconds. "You expect me to believe that Zer0, the quiet stoic ninja assassin, was the one to suggest that I should be the team mascot. You must think I'm crazy to believe that," Gaige said. There was a robotics cough that caught her attention, she looked to the other side of the hold to see Zer0 sitting in meditation.

"It is all true / I nominated you little red / I don't regret it," Zer0 said as a smiley face appeared on his helmet. Having been surprised once again it took several seconds for Gaige to recompose herself. "Wh- when did you get here?"

"Z been here since before I was, your just not that observant niñita," Salvador said with a chuckle as red LoL text flashed across Zer0's helmet.

"I hate you guys."

"No, you don't." Sal responded as he finished reassembling his weapon.

"Yes I do," she huffed.

"Want me to show you how to break down and clean an SMG."

". . . Yes," she finally said as she pulled out her Hyperion SMG. And soon Gaige was lost to the interworking of the weapon. Over the next few hours, she cleaned several other weapons as Salvador and Zer0 who joined in, decided to teach her how to break down, clean and reassemble several weapons different weapons. Eventually, they decided to call it a night as everyone knew it would be an eventful day tomorrow.

X-X-X

It had been several hours since Kai had finally killed the Wool Rakk Hive. It took all the ammo he had and most of the ammo he found in the base. But the Hive was now rotting away in the middle of the base, much to his disgust. The place already smelled like the Trash coast, and it was only getting worse by the minute.

He had been searching every corner of the base for the emitters with no luck, not even a trace. And he couldn't have Hati help since he was on an extended recharge as he had overclocked his CPU. This meant that Hati would be out of action for the next thirty to forty hours at least.

Kai walked out of the base and sat down on an old Atlas crate sitting just to the left of the entrance. He sat there for several minutes trying to think of where else he could find emitters. "Dammit!" He suddenly yelled in frustration. "Where the fuck are those damn emitters!" He yelled as he punched the top of the crate. This caused the crate to suddenly pop open which throw the rebel off.

"Owww" he moaned as he grabbed the side of the crate and slowly got up. As he was getting up he looked into the crate. Sitting in the crate were eight brand new shield emitters all still in their original protective casings. Kai could only stare at the emitters as the irony of the situation set in.

"... Dammit."


	7. Lost and Found

It was about midday when the Vault Hunter's ship crashed ashore at Three Horns Divide. They all picked themselves up, then quickly got off the boat and started moving inland. After several minutes of walking along the base of the cliffs along the shore, they came upon a cut through that looked like it would lead to the top of the cliffs. It was only about 5-6 meters wide and on top of it there was a rickety looking bridge made from random parts and pieces of steel that spanned the gap. As they approached the path they heard the sounds of motors and gunfire. "Look!" Maya yelled out. They all looked up to the top of the cliff where she was pointing to see a truck race over the bridge. It slid to a sudden stop on the other side, where its turret then rotated around and fired several rockets at the bridge, causing it to explode and collapse into the chasm.

Axton's ECHO, which was set to scan, suddenly picked up a nearby transmission. " _Sanctuary is off limits. You Bloodshots can stay in your hole."_

" _I SEEEEE YOUUUUU!"_ Yelled a bandit in the other truck, which then jumped the gap.

The other man, who on the ECHO ID came up as Cpl. Reiss just sighed. " _Awesome… Why don't you boys run on back to your hellhole of a camp?"_

" _Oh! Good idea! I think we'll just turn around and head on back to our - DIE!_ " He yelled followed by several gunshots.

" _Pandora is a violent and dangerous place. Sanctuary is… slightly less so,_ " Angel's voice suddenly said on their ECHOs.

"Nah, it's just Thursday," Salvador said.

"Really? What's Friday like then?" Gaige asked.

Salvador just started to grin. "So much Carnage...," he said to himself mainly as Angel continued.

" _Anyways, with that bridge out, you'll need a car to reach the city gate. Get to a Catch-A-Ride_ Station _."_

"Well, you heard the lady," Axton said before he and everyone started moving again.

The next hour involved them getting up the path and fighting their way through a dozen Bullymongs. When they reached the Catch-A-Ride station Gaige tried to hack it, but after several failures, they had to raid a nearby Bandits camp for a part which would let Angel hack it. They digi-structed three Runners which they used to jump the gap that Reiss had created. They then had to travel through a Bullymong infested cave, and after another few minutes of driving, they had all finally reached the gate to Sanctuary. Of course, they first had to deal with the local Bandits who were trying to demand that they be let in, that was fun. They had only just finished the fight and while everyone else gathered up the loot, Axton went over to the call box and rang it.

" _You're never getting into Sanctuary, you Bloodshot skaglicks!… Wait you're not Bandits_?"

"Nope, we're all Vault Hunters." Axton replied.

" _Vault Hunters!? Hold on, let me patch you into Roland_."

After a few seconds a man voice came on everyone ECHO's. " _Ah so you're the Vault Hunters I've been hearing all this radio chatter about._

"You've heard about us?" Axton asked which drew everyone's attention.

" _There has been talk of a group of Vault Hunters who faced Handsome Jack and lived all along the northern shelf and three horns. I assume that's all of you."_

"I guess you could say that."

" _Name's Roland, I used to be a Vault Hunter like you, until I formed the Crimson Raiders. We'll catch up when I get back to Sanctuary. For now, I need your help. My men tell me Corporal Reiss hasn't returned with the power core we need to keep the city's shields running. Bring Reiss back to Sanctuary, and you'll have earned your place in the Raiders."_

Before anyone could say anything Angel once again, come on their ECHO'S.

" _Roland's contacted you? Good. Listen to what he says, he can help us defeat Jack_ "

"Well this is just great. I mean I'm freakin starving here man!" Sal yelled.

"Sal didn't you just eat that Pimentaco in the Runner like five minutes ago?" Gaige asked.

"You actually ate that thing?" Axton said with a hint of disgust, as Maya seemed to turn slightly green just at the mere thought.

"It was pretty good, which reminds me, did you guys eat the ones in your cars? If not, can I have them?" Sal asked. At this Maya just ran around a corner and threw up.

"What wrong with her? Was it something I said?" Sal asked.

"Yeah, let's go with that," Gaige said

After Maya finished dry heaving the group got back in their respective Runners and began following the marker given to them on their ECHO's map. After driving several klicks past the Bullymong cave they came through earlier they arrived at the location. They all got out and found a smoking bandit truck that looked as though it had been hit by an RPG. Axton ordered everyone to spread out and look around. As everyone was looking everything started to shake and tremble, and when it stopped, their ECHO comms came on with a familiar, smug voice.

" _Handsome Jack here, reminding you all not to worry your pretty little heads about those earthquakes. See, with every tremor, my drills get closer to the Vault, to freedom, order, and safety for all of us. Except for you asshats in Sanctuary_."

After several minutes Gaige was looking in the wreck for any clues when she heard an electronic whistle, she looked back to see Zer0 holding up an ECHO pad. Everyone gathered around before he played it.

" _Got the power core, Bloodshots… blew the bridge… I'm hit... I'm gonna try and lose them in the Marrowfields_." the message cut off a second later when they heard an explosion. "This doesn't sound good," Sal said.

" _Reiss is in trouble? Dammit - we're spread thin enough as it is. Find him, soldiers_."

Axton noticed Gaige was in deep thought from the expression on her face, the kind you have when you're trying to remember some piece of info that slipped your mind. And it had something to do with this guy he was betting.

"Gaige, you got something to add."

"No, it's just the name sounds familiar."

"No time to ponder / A life is at stake / We need to move," Zero said as he pocketed the ECHO.

The Marrow Fields weren't far from the wreck, but several large bones blocked off the Runners so everyone had to continue on foot. As the team looked around they kept finding clues everywhere from spent shells, a few dead bandits, even several shot up Bullymong corpses. They all kept following the tracks until they started to hear the sound of bandits laughing. Zer0 pointed at a rock gap with a path that everyone immediately ran through.

They quickly rushed up the path towards the yelling. When they turning the corner they saw four Psycho's, including a huge badass Psycho pounding and kicking a man in grey Crimson Lance armor who was laying in bloody snow.

"Assist that man immediately!" Axton shouted. Everyone immediately jumped into action. Maya Phaselocked a Psycho and Gaige began peppering him with SMG fire. The Badass Psycho was surprised by this and looked up only to see. . . Krieg throwing a laughing Salvador right at him. Sal landed feet first into the Psycho's face and knocked the Badass over. "EAT MY FISTS PUTA!" Salvador yelled as he jumped back up on top of the Badass and began pounding the Psycho in the face. Krieg quickly rushed in to join in the fun! Axton shot the third Psycho several times while Zer0 ran in and slashed the last one with his sword.

After all of the Psycho's were eliminated the group rushed over to the Reiss. Maya started to use her powers to try and heal him but for those who could tell from experience, he was in bad shape.

"Vault Hunters!? Didn't think I rated that much of a rescue," Reiss said.

"Roland said you were making some kind of delivery," Axton asked.

Cough* "Bloodshots. One of those psychos ran off with the power core, took it to a nearby Bloodshot camp. Without it, Sanctuary will be defenseless. You need to get it back. (Cough), Aw, hell. Moxxi is gonna kill me for this." He said looking at his wounds.

Axton looked over to Maya who was still trying to heal him, while Gaige was helping ZERO making tourniquets for his wounds.

"I can stabilize him for now but he needs a doctor, quick," Maya said.

"Forget about me, you need to get that power core, without it Sanctuary is dead."

Axton continued to ponder the situation as looked over to Gaige when he had an idea. "Hey Red, you have a driver's license right."

"Pfft, I'm an eighteen-year-old school girl, what would make you think I didn't have one. . . Why?" She asked looking at him questionably as Axton began to grin.

Five minutes later, they all watched as Gaige sped off in one of the Runners with Reiss in the turret, as they both raced off towards Sanctuary. As everyone else stared after them Maya spoke up. "You think she'll make it in time."

"I don't know, but personally, I don't want the kid around for what we're about to do," Axton said as he and the rest of the Vault Hunters turn around towards the camp.

"So what are we about to do?" She asked.

"Find the bloodshot camp / find and retrieve power core / Get vengeance for Riess," ZERO said more sadistically than usual.

"I see," Maya answered.

Axton pulled the charging bolt on his Dahi rifle. "Right then, now that that's cleared, let go honer a good man."

X-X-X

As they speed across the frozen wasteland for Sanctuary, Gaige was trying to drive as fast as she could without ether flipping the Runner or tossing Reiss out of it.

"Hey Reiss, you still with me back there."

"More or less" he grunted.

He was silent for another minute until he randomly asked. "Isn't your name Gaige?"

Gaige, to say the least, was surprised by this and lost focus for a few seconds.

"GAIGE!"

Gaige snapped out of her stupor only to immediately swerve to avoid a random wrecked car they were heading for.

"Sorry! You okay?"

" Yeah, I just don't think I can take many more jolts like that."

"Sorry. How did you know my name?" Gaige asked back.

"I…. I heard your friends say it, I was just. . . Validating."

Gaige had the odd feeling that wasn't entirely true, but who was she to question a dying man. But that did make her think of something else.

"Hey Reiss, in case you don't... You know. Do you have anything you want or... need to say."

Reiss was quiet for a moment as he thought about it.

"Yeah. Ugh… A favor actually."

"A favor?"

"Yeah, watch after... my Brother... for me"

"Your brother, who's your brother… Reiss.. REISS!"

Gaige realized that he must have finally blacked out after all the blood that he's lost. Fearing that she was going to lose him she decided to screw safety and floored the pedal.

"Hang on Reiss, we're almost there!"

Five minutes later, Gaige pulled up to the front gate of Sanctuary jumped out, ran to the call box and started mashing the call button. After twenty seconds Lt. Davis finally answered.

" _Dammit bandit, I told you to. Wait you're one of the"_

"Whatever, just let me in!"

" _Woah now, I can't just let you in little girl, I have to first scan you, get a photo, run it by Roland and-"_

DAMMIT SHUT UP ALREADY! Reiss is in my Runner, 'BLEEDING OUT', and you're giving me the tenth degree! YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR MY ROBOT FRIEND IS GONNA SHOVE HIS CLAW SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WON'T SIT FOR A YEAR!" Gaige roared.

" _Oh shit! I'm opening it! I'm opening it!_ "

Gaige heard the gate unlock and saw it begin to open, she quickly hopped back into the Runner and sped through the gate as soon as it was wide enough. On the other side of the gate, she could see Sanctuary which was sitting on the other side of a large gorge. Gaige raced across the bridge past a lookout post where a man in dark green crimson Lance armor yelled: " _The next gate is open, wait in front of a place called Scooter's Garage._ "

Gaige quickly pulled through the main gate into the town to see that she was in a small roundabout, so to avoid crashing she mashed the brakes and drifted to a stop by an auto garage. She hopped out and started to check on Reiss, she felt for a pulse and found he still had one. 'Thank god he's not dead' she thought just as she heard hurried footsteps. She turned to see a black-haired man with hints of grey in it wearing a doctor uniform with a name tag that said Dr. Zed and had a blue medical mask over his mouth come rushing down some nearby stairs. Behind him were some more guys in crimson Lance armor only thiers were white and had a red medical cross on their shoulders and helmets, and they were both carrying a stretcher.

"How's the patient?" The doctor asked.

"He alive but bleeding badly, he was… I don't even know where to start, he's been shot up, beaten, stabbed, it a fucking mess."

"Was he conscious at all since you found him?" He asked.

"Yeah, he blacked out on the way here, about ten minutes ago."

The two medics finished getting Reiss on the stretcher and started hauling him up the stairs. Zed followed them and Gaige followed him to a building at the top of the stairs with a neon sign ontop shaped like a syringe saying 'Dr. Zed's'. Once inside the medics put Reiss on a surgical table, where one of then immediately ripped Reiss's helmet off as Zed went to work. Gaige meanwhile, not knowing what to do, stood in a corner as she watched them work.

"I hope his brother gets here soon."

X-X-X

About ten minutes after Gaige had arrived another Runner rolled through the outer gate to Sanctuary. It stopped by the guardhouse outside of Sanctuary. Kai got out and walked up to the platform with a box in hand.

"Hey Davis, I got the new pulse emitters that we need." Kai says as he set the parts on a table as Davis staring at him. "What is something on my face man?… Helloooo, earth to Davis"

"What are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Ugh, finishing my mission, and delivering the parts. What else would I be doing?" Kai stated as he pulled out the parts and set them on the table.

"No, why are you here when Reiss is at Zed's!"

Kai froze for several seconds till he turned to Davis with a face of fear and confusion.

"What do you mean he's at Zed's!?"

X-X-X

Gaige was trying to gather some more insta-heals as Zed had instructed as he and the medics were frantically trying to save Reiss. Just then blood started squirting into Zed's face.

"Clamp that artery now! Kid, the fridge, I need another bag of B negative, on the double!"

Gaige ran to the fridge and fumbled with several bags of blood and… other organic parts till she found a bag behind a jar with what looked like a kidney. She tossed the bag to one of the medics who started hooking it up. Zed finally fixed the blood leak he was working on only to curse as he finds another one.

"There just too many!" Zed muttered as he grabbed the insta-heals Gaige passed him. "I'm gonna need more clamps soon. Kid, cabinet behind the curtain to the left."

As Gaige rushed over and started digging through the cabinet when the hatch door to the clinic flew open as a young man about her age rushed in with focus solely on Reiss.

"Doc what his condition." The young man asked.

Zed finished the part he was working on and took a few seconds to step back and observe Reiss condition. He looks to the man and shakes his head. "I'm sorry Kai, I can't fix this. There to much damage and he's already gone through three pints of blood in less than twenty minutes. There just no way I can keep up with that amount of blood loss, he has minutes at most".

The young man frantically tapped his head in thought. "What about the New-U station, we can scan him." but Zed cut him off before he could finish.

"He's a former ATLAS employee, you know that means Hyperion already has his DNA and mental scans on record. And we both know Hyperion locked out and canceled all Atlas employees from the system years ago. I'm sorry Kai but... you need to stop thinking about how to save him and start thinking what to say to him… It's time to you said your goodbyes while you can."

It was quite in the room as Gaige watched from out of sight behind a set of curtains. "That's Kai!?" She whispered to herself. She didn't know what to do, here was one person she just met for the first time less than an hour ago who was dying, and now the one person she been waiting to meet for the last week now was just a few meters from her. Gaige and everyone else were snapped out of their train of thought when they heard a weak cough from the table, everyone looked to see Reiss was awake.

"Hey, can't the 'cough, cough' dying man get a word in."

Kai rush over to the table, "Hey man, how you doing?"

"Worse than I look if I had to say. Sorry, I don't think I'm gonna make it for drinks at Moxxi's tonight." Reiss weakly said. "Man this sucks worse than the time we fought that mutant badass Skag with the tentacles."

"Don't even remind me of that," Kai said as he physically cringed at the memory.

Reiss chuckled at his reaction. "Damn, I was going to ask her to marry me. I've got my mom's old ring, a plan, and everything to make it special."

"Oh yeah, and who would you have roped in to be the man of honor."

"Well, you of course. You're my brother in arms after all."

"Reiss… I don't, I don't know what to say."

"You'll say it would be an honor you damn asshole!" He jabbed as Kai just chuckled.

"Would it? It sounds more like I'd be your bodyguard who's job it would be to stop all of the jealous and/or angry SOB's who want to kill you for taking Moxxi."

"It 'cough' wouldn't have been that bad."

Kai just gave him a deadpanned look. "Scooter."

Reiss thought about it for a second. "Okay, you got me there." He said as they both laughed a bit till Reiss began coughing again. A few seconds after the coughing fit passed Riess looked back to his friend. "Hey, just do me a solid, watch out for Moxxi for me, knowing her, she won't take this well."

"Of course man, I swear nothing bad will happen to her, I'll even tell her you died after taking down half of an army of Bandits by yourself. Make you sound as badass as possible." Kai said as Reiss weakly chuckled.

"Yeah, I would appreciate that. Just one more thing." He quietly said forcing Kai to lean in to hear. "You know how to pick them brother, so take care of her and treat her well. I already told her to watch out for your sorry ass."

"Riess, come on, Moxxi already treats me like a little brother."

Reiss just gave him a cocky blood-covered grin and chuckled. "Wasn't talking about Moxxi you lucky bastard."

A look of confusion came over Kai's face. "What? Wait, then who?"

"You'll see. Ugh, don't got long, remember to watch Moxxi and your own ass, or I swear I'll come back and haunt your ass till the end of time."

"You don't need to tell me twice, man. Save me a seat at the poker table in hell man." Kai said.

"Was already planning on it, now if you'll all excuse me, I'm just gonna go to sleep now… Wake me up when I'm... no longer... on Pandora... anymore." he said as he closed his eyes. A few seconds later the heart monitor flat-lined leaving everyone standing there in shock.

Kai simply stared at Reiss, while Zed and the medics all bowed their heads in respect. Gaige silently began to cry to herself as the silence encompassed the room. It was only then that she realized what Reiss words from before meant. Kai was the 'brother' Riess wanted her to watch out for. He was the one he wanted her to protect.

After several minutes Kai finally got up and grabbed Reiss's discard blood stained helmet that had been dropped and forgot on the floor. Kai slowly started to move towards the door only to stop and turn to Zed. "Thanks for trying Doc." Kai said. Zed just nodded before Kai walked out and closed the bulkhead door behind him. Gaige was trying to figure out what to do next when Zed coughed to get her attention.

"Now while I do appreciate the extra company from time to time now isn't exactly a good time for us. So if you could just..." Gaige realized what he was implying and nodded before she moved to the bulkhead. Gaige quickly left the clinic and found herself out on the street. She quickly looked around for Kai and just bearly noticed him going around a corner, so she quickly followed after him. She kept following for several minutes as he slowly walked through the town. Finally, Kai went into the open doors of a bar called Moxxi's Red Light. Gaige quickly snuck in behind him and hide behind one of the booth seats near the door.

The bar was more like a large club with how it was setup. In one corner there was a stage with a monstrous karaoke machine by it. On the other side of the room where several slot machines, dartboards, and two old billiard tables. On the far wall from the door was the bar itself and behind it was a woman standing behind it cleaning a glass.

From what Gaige could see she had shoulder-length brown hair, blue eyes and had on a lot of makeup giving her face a near perfect white complexion with a bit of pink in her cheeks for a light blush. Her outfit was that of a purple circus ringmaster's uniform with a top hat with several feathers and a queen of hearts card sticking out of it the gold band on it. Her outfit also showed off her ample bust with a bit of a black lace bra sticking out some.

Kai walked over to the bar and took a stool."

Moxxi raised an eyebrow and look Kai over for a few seconds. "Okay sugar, first, what have I told you about coming in here covered in blood and guts. Second, why do you smell like fire, brimstone, and a Rakk apocalypse? Third, why do you look like someone killed your puppy or something?"

Kai looked at her with a sense of doubt till he slowly unclipped Reiss's blood-covered helmet from his belt and gently placed it on the bar top in front of him. Moxxi stared at the helmet in confusion, until she started noticing small details such as some chipped paint here, a dent there. They were details she had seen for years, enough to recognize the owner of said helmet.

She glanced up at Kai then back to the helmet several times till the realization set in. The glass she had been cleaning fell and broke on the ground as she slowly slumped back using the back bar top for support.

"No… No… No, it can't be. Kai this is a joke, right? Right?"

At this point, Kai got up and walked around to the other side of the bar as tears started to form in Moxxi eyes. Kai was soon standing in front of her with a somber gaze.

"Mox... I'm sorry but… Reiss… he didn't make it."

At those words the floodgates broke as Moxxi buried herself into Kai's shoulder as she began sobbed, Kai wrapped arms around her as he kept quiet. This continued for about ten minutes, several of the waitress who had been around watched, some in shock, others crying themselves.

Finally, Moxxi appeared to be claiming down as she slowly pulled away from Kai, revealing her utterly ruined makeup. "Do you know how he died, were you… were you there."

"When he died, yes. Zed tried his best but..." Kai bowed his head for a moment as he collected himself. "As for how it was caused, I don't know. Roland had sent us on separate missions…" He was silent for several seconds. "I actually don't know who did this or who even brought him in. I only just got back from my own mission twenty minutes ago."

"Did he say anything before...," Moxxi tried to speak but couldn't find the words.

"He… He loved you Moxxi. He was actually… he had a ring, a ring, a plan, everything." Moxxi gasped when she heard this as she began to tear up again.

"Oh God. He- he was going to… oh god... Damn… DAMMIT! Why is it always the good ones!" She yelled.

Kai's face still had a despondent look as he brought Moxxi in for another hug as she started crying again. This continued for several more minutes with Moxxi occasionally letting out a curse between her sobbing.

"Where is. *Sniff* where is his…"

"Zed's probably moved him to the morgue by now, but I'd wait a bit. It wasn't… pretty," he said. "Anyways, I think I'll take my leave now, I need time to… reflect," Kai said before he turned to leave.

Gaige hid behind the seats again as he passed, she watched him go out the open doors and keep walking till he turned for the center of town. Gaige had gotten up and hidden behind the archway by the door. Her mind was racing with hundreds of questions and imaginative scenarios as to what could happen if she tried to approach him. Would he be happy, would he be mad once he learned she didn't get Reiss here in time? Would he even react at all? While she was thinking about all these things, she never noticed the shadow that fell over her from behind.

"Well, what do we have here."

Gaige jumps in surprise giving off a loud 'EEEP!' She turned to find Moxxi standing there, arms crossed with an angry look in her eyes which was only made more fearsome by her ruined makeup and her near bloodshot eyes from her earlier crying session. With a stern gaze, she looked over Gaige, till she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.

"Who are you and why are you stalking my favorite little Vault Hunter. And you better answer truthfully because I'm not in the mood for any Skag shit."

Gaige wasn't entirely sure how to respond to this question as she nervously looked everywhere but at Moxxi.

"Well, we're waiting." She said as several waitresses suddenly surrounded Gaige, trapping her in.

"I ugh. I ugh." She stuttered trying to come up with an answer until she finally broke down.

"I DON'T KNOW! I only got to this planet four days ago and I've had to kill hundreds of creatures and bandits just to finally get to this city. Only once I get here my companions and I are sent back out to save someone, only once we get there, we find the poor guy beaten and shot to a bloody pulp. Then I am elected to drive him back to Sanctuary to try and save him. Not only did the guy not pull through after everything that happened, but I also had to watch as he dies while his best friend, who happens to be Kai! The friend I've been waiting to finally meet in person for the first time, and instead, I had to watch as his best friend died right in front of him. And now I have no idea what to say to him, or even how to approach him after everything that has happened because I consider Kai to be my only friend I ever really had and I just watched him get emotionally crushed, and I'm scared he'll hate me because since I was the one to bring Reiss here he might blame me or say I wasn't fast enough getting him here or, or that I didn't get to him in time, and, and, and."

At this point, Gaige's legs gave out as she slumped to the floor with tears in eyes as she developed a slight case of the hiccups as she gasped for air. Moxxi looked too her waitresses in surprise and looked back to Gaige. She was also mentally asking herself how did a girl of her size have that kind of lung capacity. Then Moxxi had a sudden realization.

"Are… are you, Gaige, by any chance?" Gaige looked up at Moxxi as the tears kept pouring out and gave a weak nodded before another hiccup escape her throat. "Oh dear, it's going to be one of those days. Girls close up for the day and someone grabs some ice cream from the freezer, we're all gonna need it."

After a fifteen-minute cleaning and lock up, and a much-needed fix of one person's makeup, Gaige found herself sitting in the middle of one of the large circular booth seats flanked by Moxxi and her waitresses. The first one was Abigail, a long-haired brunette with teal blue eyes. Next was Susan, who had short blond hair, light brown eyes, and a light coat of freckles over her nose. and Trixie was a dark skin woman with raven hair in a pixie cut. If it weren't for the fact that they were on Pandora, Gaige would have bet they would be the popular girls in any high school or be supermodels by now. Gaige just finished a bowl of chocolate ice cream and gave a satisfying sigh. "Thanks, I needed that."

"Considering all the skag shit you've been through today, it's understandable dear." Said Trixie.

"So now that you've calmed down, I want details, what happened to my dear Reiss." Moxxi said with a somewhat venomous tone. So Gaige quickly started to explain the events to them leading up to the point when Reiss died in front of Kai and herself. Moxxi was tightly gripping a glass in her hands on the table and had an ominous vibe coming from her.

"I'm sorry for your loss Ms. Moxxi, I can't really imagine how you must feel about this."

"First please just call me Moxxi dear, second, it's fine. This isn't the first time I've have had to face the loss of a loved one like that. I just want to make the bastards pay for what they did to Reiss." She took a deep breath and calmed herself down before speaking again. But that's a problem for another day, right now we have to deal with your... boyfriend problem."

"Bo-boyfriend! He's not my-"

"Dear, you've traveled halfway across the galaxy to meet him," Abigail interrupted. "You obviously love him."

Gaige's face turned red in sudden embarrassment "What, no! It was just a 'cosmic' coincidence that he was here. The reason I left was-"

"Cosmic coincident, oh, I like how this story is starting," Trixie interrupted.

"I'll get the video camera and popcorn!" Susan said gleefully.

"Girls," Moxxi said with a slight sternness as the waitresses all giggled.

"Look, Gaige, let me ask you this. When you found out Kai was here, what did you think, why did you trust a person who you never met."

Gaige stopped and thought about it, She wasn't entirely sure herself. "I'm not sure, till recently all I even knew for sure about him was that he was a boy, and he competent with tech to a fair degree, I had no real reason to trust him other than the fact that he helped me with some of the tech for DeathTrap. He also the only person I can talk to when I have an issue I didn't want to talk to my parents about. We play games together online, talk about music and movies, and whatever else is relevant. If I had to call him anything right now I'd have to say he my friend. He the only friend I've ever had, the only person that I've come to trust. Does that mean I love him, don't know, don't care right now, I just want to help my friend right now, like he's helped me so many times in the past."

The others just looked at her for a moment until Susan spoke up. "Two hundred bucks says they're dating by the end of the month." Gaige just groaned as the others laughed at her expense.

Moxxi finally stopped laughing. "Let's settle down girls, we're not planning the bachelorette party… yet." She said with a sly grin which garnered another round of giggles for her waitresses.

"Okay, are you all done? I want to help my friend sometime before the end of the universe." Gaige stated now thoroughly ticked off.

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a bundle. Considering how much that boy has lost in the last year, I think the best thing to do is to just be there for him. You know comfort him, have him know that someone there for him. Get him to open up, God only knows what it took to crack him the first time.

Gaige looked at her questionably. "What do you mean for the first time?"

Moxxi and the others realized what she just said and looked to one another then back to Gaige. "How much has he told you about his past," Moxxi asked.

Gaige quickly explained to them what Kai had told her during her chat with him over a week ago. Leave a worried look on Moxxi face. "It looks like he gave you the watered-down version."

"What do you mean," Gaige asked.

"Well, when his planet was just attacked, he was forced to watch it for above with no way to help. From what Reiss had picked up, he had to listen to the screams of the people he knew dying."

Gaige honestly didn't know know what to say at this point as she averted her eyes to her empty bowl. "It sadly gets worse from there." This snapped Gaige's focus back. "He mentioned to you that his mentor was with him right." Gaige nodded. "Well, he didn't say what happened to him. When he and his mentor reach Pandora they encounter a Hyperion patrol which shot them down, and caused them to crash land… His Mentor was killed in the crash."

Gaige gasped at this as her attention was now solely focused on Moxxi. "So he literally just lost everything."

Moxxi nodded, "From the way he talked about his mentor, well this mentor, he had two, he was like a second father to him. And all he had left was the clothes on his back any gear on him or from the ship and a rifle from his first mentor, who was a grandfather figure, that he never let's get more than a meter away from him when he's out and about."

"There's also one other issue, Kai… Kai is one of those people who will bottle up grief and let it eat away at him. As for why he does that to himself no one knows, but I'm just afraid he'll do something stupid or spiral into a pit of self-despair."

"Sooo what should I do? Give him a hug, because I don't think that will be enough," Gaige said

"That's a start, but I think you might want to also…"

"Give him a show." Abigail interrupted.

"A little third base action." Trixie pitched in.

"I'd just jump him and drag him to the nearest bed," Susan said causing all three waiters to giggle.

"NO! God no! Ugh, you girls and your..." Moxxi cleared her throat to reassert her command of the conversation. "No, what Kai needs right now is a friend and a shoulder to cry on." Moxxi noticed Gaige's sudden bout of nervousness as she slightly shuffled in her seat.

"Which means our new friend here will have to go over there… By herself."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think I'm ready for this." Gaige said.

"But didn't you just say you wanted to help your friend," Trixie said.

"Yeah, but I thought maybe one of you were going to maybe help me… make first introductions."

"Stop whining already and just women up girl, your friend just lost his only best friend he had, and is all alone. Now you have to fill in those shoes and see him through this." Susan said. " Besides it not like Kai gonna bite you." She paused then a devious smile crept up on her face. " At least not at first." Which caused Gaige, as well as Abigail and Trixie, to start blushing as red as Gaige's hair.

"Susan, stop that. Besides if anyone would bite you it would be Hati." Abigail said.

"Who?"

"Not important, look, Kai is probably been sitting in that apartment that he shared with Reiss, all alone. Now get over there and help your friend." Moxxi said as she got up and began pushing the young girl to the door.

"But."

"I know you're nervous, but it won't be that bad, now come on, go to your friend."

"But I don't know where he's at…" Gaige said

Moxxi realized her sudden oversight and quickly pulled out a small notepad she uses for orders and wrote down the direction. She then escorted her to the door. Just before Gaige left, she turned to Moxxi.

"Thank you for the help Moxxi, but will you be alright yourself?" She asked concerningly.

"I'll be fine dear, I've already have my own friends here for me. Besides, it would make me feel better that someone was with Kai, knowing him he probably trying to bottle up his grief, and I worry about him as though he were my little brother." Moxxi said waving her off.

"Moxxi, he nineteen. Said Abigail.

"Details details. Now, run along, Sugar."

"Alright, thanks Moxxi!" She said as she ran down the street.

After she disappeared for sight Moxxi gave a long sigh. "Trix, get me the bottle of the strong stuff we keep locked under the bar, and a box of tissues, it going to be a long night." She said sadly.

X-X-X

After Kai had returned home he had removed his gear and drenched himself in the shower for nearly thirty minutes till the water became ice cold. After getting out and changing, he went to the first floor and just sat on the sofa. After a while, he started to mindlessly clean a Tediore pistol that had been lying around. His mind was at a complete loss for what to do.

It was only in the last two months that he finally was getting over the loss of the Colonel and everyone else from before. Once again he was unable to do anything but watch as the people he cared for died in front of him.

"Goddammit! Why!" He yelled as he throws the pistol at a wall. Before it got to the ground it gave a small explosion that didn't really damage anything but it did knock over several things while the gun re-digistructed onto the coffee table.

"Crap".

As he began cleaning up the mess he thought about Reiss again, the memory of Reiss body on the table covered in blood. That only served to get him more down, he sat down and leaned against the wall as he continued to think. The worst part about the situation was that he was alone, sure he had Hati, but due to overclocking the power unit on the hard light projector the other day during his fight with the hive, he had to let the unit charge and reboot, which would take until till tomorrow at the latest.

Kai continued to sit there for several minutes when he suddenly heard a knock at the door. Kai ignored it at first, but after several minutes the knocking turned into a pounding. "Great, probably Roland with his 'cheer up soldier' talks again." He said as he mentally facepalmed himself for letting that memory creep up again. The man knew how to rally an army of freedom fighters, but he was no good with a one on one. "I coming, I'm coming," Kai said as he got up and walked to the door.

Kai opens the door expecting Roland or someone, but who he found caused every cell in his body to freeze.

Standing at least a whole head shorter than him, was a girl with orangish-red hair tied into pigtails. Her outfit consisted of a red skull crested t-shirt with a blue hooded vest worn over it that was only zipped up about halfway. She had a short red skirt with two belts, or a belt and what appeared to be a large bicycle chain wrapped around her waist with the odd tool or part hanging from it. She had on a pair of black and white striped leggings and blue sneakers and what appeared to be an ankle holster for a wrench. The two biggest features she had was a robotic left arm and that her green eyes that could make emeralds look as dull as mud. Features that Kai knew belong to only one person.

"Gaige?"

Gaige looked him in the eyes and gave him a small smile before she suddenly cocked back her right fist and punched him in the face. The second after it connected Kai's world faded to black as he fell back onto the floor with a thud.

Gaige stared at Kai's unconscious body for several seconds until she grabbed her right hand and hissed in pain. "Damn that hurts… How the hell does Sal make that look easy?"


	8. Heart, Soul, and… Stomach?

Kai was looking down at the world below him as it's mountains, green forests, rivers, and lakes all slowly passed by his viewport. A transparent hologram screen suddenly appeared in front of him and superimposed an image near a mountain. He could see several dozen containers and prefab structures. "I've got what appears to be a Hyperion Loader outpost at grid 57.6062° North, 173.4828° West. Looks like they're getting ready to move on New Bergen again."

"Log it for now and we'll call it in once we land," said a man with a heavy Russian accent who was at the helm. He was an older man, easily in his mid-fifties, but he had an air of danger around him that made it feel like he could kill a man in a heartbeat for so much as just glancing at him the wrong way. His hair was a mix of black and grey, which could be seen poking out of his old black Vladof beret. Along the right side of his face was a large scar that went from the edge of his right eyebrow to the side of his chin and his eyes were Hazel. He was wearing a heavy grey military jacket with several Vladof unit patches on each sleeve and matching combat pants. He also had a photon emitter unit hooked to his belt, and always had some kind of Vladof pistol in a hip holster.

"Alright, pup, we have just two more orbits till we can land," Ryet said.

"Finally, we've been at this for nearly twenty hours now. Why do you even volunteer us for these damn recon missions, couldn't one of the pilots do it?" Kai said as he punched in the data.

"Call it a part of your training, you never know when you may need space skills in this universe. Now quit complaining or I'll have you clean the engines with a toothbrush."

"Damn slave driver," Kai muttered.

"What was that!"

"What was what?" Kai responded with a neutral face.

"Tsk, umnik (smart ass)."

Suddenly the sensors beeped and Kai quickly turned to check. "Got something coming out of hyperspace, one hundred kilometers off our port at grid four seven," Kai said as he checked the new data coming in.

Sure enough, a large hyperspace rift opened up in space and a Hyperion heavy cruiser exited the rift, which disappeared a few seconds later. The cruiser looked like any of the other half dozen cruisers, but this one had been heavily modified. Where there would have been turrets, now sat several massive sensors arrays, and the hangar bay on the bottom of the vessel had been extended out several meters for some reason.

"What the hell is that thing, Colonel? Some kind of new spy ship?" Kai asked.

"No idea, never seen anything like this… this is something… new," Ryet said with a concerned tone.

Before any more observation could be made the cruiser's hangers opened up and several racks extend out. A second later over two dozen large missiles shot out and started moving towards the planet at hypervelocity.

"SHIT! It an orbital bombardment!" Kai yelled.

"Forget running silent, broadcast a warning on all frequencies, NOW!"

Without question, Kai grabbed a headset and activated comms as Ryet continued to observe the missiles. "This is Shadow Star to everyone planetside. Hyperion has launched an orbital missile strike! Repeat, inbound orbital strike over the Usath continent. Initial observation counts over two dozen missiles."

Ryet handed him a note with several names listed on it of observed possible targets, as he quickly moved back to the pilot's seat and strapped in.

"We've confirmed and counted thirty-eight missiles and believe high probability targets include, New Bergen, Reynir, Antden, Gil, Frost Lake, New…" Kai eyes suddenly widened as he read the next name, New Yukon.

"NEW YUKON! TAKE COVER, REPEAT EVERYONE IN NEW YUKON TAKE COVER NOW!"

"Moy Bog!" Ryet said.

Kai looked back out the window just in time to see several purple flashes engulf the window.

X-X-X

Kai suddenly bolted up, breathing heavily. Then the pain started to settle in. "Ahhhg, why does it feel like I just went five rounds with a Bruiser," Kai mumbled as he stretched his jaw. It was then that he realized he was sitting on his couch… And remembered that something small and red had knocked him out, he was still a little fuzzy on the details.

He heard something moving behind him and in a rapid motion, he drew his sidearm, a rare Maliwan shock pistol at the moment, and leveled at the source of the sound. What he didn't expect was a scared, yet cute, yelp in response.

"Dammit Wolf, don't scare me like that! And get that gun out of my face!" Gaige demanded.

"Gaige!? W-what? How are you here? Where were you?"

Gaige just crossed her arms, with an irritated look.

"Ugh, what's wrong," he asked nervously.

"Gun."

"Huh?" He looked down and realized he still had his gun drawn and aimed at her and quickly put it away. "Sorry about that, old habits."

Kai finally took in Gaige's present state, she had on a loose purple t-shirt with a red anarchy logo that looked spray-painted on. While wearing black sweatpants and black and white striped socks. Her hair was undone and reached down to her shoulders and looked like it had been recently washed as it was still wet.

"Well, are you going to say something," Gaige said in an annoyed tone.

"Umm, I would say good to see you, but if I recall correctly you punched me in the face. Soooo."

"I did say I would punch you in the face when we meet."

"Right… Did you use the robot arm?" Kai asked as he pointed to her arm.

"No, I decided to give you a pass considering everything that happened today."

"What do you-,"

"I know about Reiss."

Kai froze in mid-sentence as he stared at Gaige, while the events of the day flood back to the front of his mind. "How do you know about that?"

"I…" she started to say, as her demeanor seemed to sadden some. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I was there, I'm the one who brought him in."

He looked at her with a stunned expression which quickly turned to a serious one. "Who did this to him," he asked.

"Some group called The Bloodshots; they chased him down, shot him, and stole a power core from him. Then several Psychos stayed to beat on him, for how long I don't know…God, there was so much blood. The leader of the group I came with had me rush him back here in a Runner," she said as tears started to form in her eyes.

Kai had a hollow expression as he stared at Gaige, although he wasn't really focused on her at the moment as his fingernails dug into his palms. He then walked around Gaige and head for the stairs.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Gaige asked as she quickly followed after him upstairs.

Kai went into his room, not caring to close the door as Gaige followed him in. The room wasn't overly big, on one side there was a workbench/computer desk with a disassembled Torgue rifle and several tools and parts lying out. On the opposite side, was a heavy weapons locker that looked like it had been modified. The far end of the room curved into a half circle window and had a bed built into the left part of it.

As Gaige continued to take in the room, Kai walked over to the locker and punched in a code. Two separate compartments opened up, the first had what appeared to be a high capacity Digistruct storage unit. The other compartment was a normal gun locker with several weapons. Immediately, Kai began pulling out ammo and weapons and setting them on his bed. It was only when Kai pulled out a Torgue Rocket launcher from the storage unit that Gaige snapped back to reality.

"Woah hold up, what are you doing with all of that artillery?" Again Kai ignores her as he keeps pulling out more weapons. "Hey, are you listening to me," she asks as he opens a drawer and pulls out several grenades. "KAI!"

Kai stopped and turned to Gaige, "What?" He said sternly. She immediately saw the anger in his eyes, but she could also see a look of remorse and pain as well.

"What are you doing, why are you getting all of these weapons out!? What are you planning to do, take on an army or something!?"

Kai stared at her for a moment before he turned and started to check the Maliwan SMG in his hand. It took Gaige a moment to realize she had hit the mark. "Oh, holy shit, ... You're planning to take on that whole Bandit gang by yourself, aren't you!?... Kai are you INSANE!? Reiss wouldn't want you to do this!"

"You don't know that," he said as he turned and put the SMG down.

"I'm pretty sure your friend wouldn't want you to wage a war in his name."

"And what do you know about my friend!" He yelled as he turned to face Gaige. "What do you know about what he wanted! He was my comrade, my partner, my friend, MY BROTHER!" Kai shouted. "He was the first decent person I met on this hell hole of a planet, he gave me a place to stay, helped me join the Raiders! Then we fought together in the fields, mission after mission, against everything this planet had to throw at us, and at the end of the day, he always had the time to help me in some of my darkest hours. So tell me, what do you, a little school girl who has never been to another world, has never had to fight for your life, never had to face death in the face know about my friend!"

"I, ugh-"

"That's right you don't know because your life is perfect! You know NOTHING!"

"AAAAAHHH!" Gaige screamed out in anger as she punched Kai in the gut with her robot arm, and since this arm dished out a lot more force than her previous punch, it easily caused Kai to fall back. Plus, he didn't have his shield on, which meant he felt the full force of the punch.

"Ugh, Gaige! What the hell-" he started to say until Gaige jumped on top of him, straddling his torso while punching him repeatedly in the face with her right arm.

"SHUT… UP... YOU... IDIOT!"

She stopped and stared at him as she tried to control her breathing. Kai had a bleed split lip but he seemed more shocked than anything as he stared back.

"Don't you dare say that! For the last two weeks, I've gone through more shit than most people my age will ever go through in their whole lives! I watched my classmate be killed by my science project, RIGHT IN FRONT ME! I was covered in her blood and guts! Then I had to leave my home and family because I apparently became a wanted felon and had to travel halfway across the Galaxy to hide from the police on the most lawless and deadliest planet in the known universe. But it doesn't end there, oh no, I'm only just getting started. Not even two hours after landing, I'm nearly killed by Handsome freakin Jack himself who blew up a whole train, his own fucking train, in an attempt to kill me and several Vault Hunters! After which, me and the survivors had to traverse a frozen glacier for half a day where hundreds of creatures were all out to kill us. I had to fight a three-meter tall Bullymong named Knuckledragger for Christ's sake! And when we finally got to some scrap of civilization we have a fight with a group of crazed Bandits, where I shot and killed my first person with my own hands!" Gaige yelled as tears started to form in her eyes.

"Sure they were all just murderous bandits as Sal put, but they were still human. Of course by the end the next day I was used to it, after killing at least fifty more Bandits! After which I had to watch two of my new friends get killed as I could only watch! Thankfully they came back thanks to being in the New-U system. Then we fought this Bandit Lord, who nearly would have killed me if it weren't for DT finally coming back online! Then today after finally reaching Sanctuary's gate and thinking that I'd finally be able to meet the only person I have ever called a friend in person, I find myself being instead sent straight out again to find Reiss. When we did find him, he was basically a bloody pulp, and then I'm the one everyone chooses to race him back here. After I finally did get him back here, I had to assist in the surgery, only you know what happens while I'm there, the one person I wanted to meet barges in and I find out that it's his best friend who is dying on the table." Gaige yells out as her tears are now raining onto Kai's chest.

"And there I am, having to watch as your friend dies in front of you. Finally, after an hour of panicking and a stern pep talk from that Moxxi woman, I finally got the courage to come visit you. Of course, ignoring how I just punched you first, I told you about what happened to Reiss, and what do you do. You start loading up like some bad action movie star getting ready for a fucking suicide mission!"

"Gaige, I'm not going-"

Gaige socked him with another punch to his left cheek.

"I told you to shut up you blasted idiot. The only thing that been keeping me from having a complete and catastrophic mental breakdown was the idea of having at least one person on the other side of this crazy adventure that I know. On top of that, Reiss basically asked me as one of his dying wishes to keep an eye on his brother. And I also promised a very distraught woman, who just lost said man, that I would make sure you're alright and don't go off and do something completely STUPID! So if you think I'm going to let you go out there and get yourself killed then think again, or I swear I'll break your legs before you even reach the fucking door!" Gaige finishes as she stared straight into Kai's eyes.

After several seconds she asked,"Well! Say something dammit!"

"Uuum, breath."

Gaige only then realized she had basically forgotten to inhale during her whole speech. Of course, the oxygen deprivation finally caught up to her as she fell backward while she rapidly tried to catch her breath. Kai slow sat up and leaned up against the workbench as he wiped away the blood from his lip.

After about a minute or so Gaige finally started to catch her breath back and propped herself up across from Kai. "Got any… thing else… to say… or am I gonna… have to break… your legs," She panted.

"You hit like a girl."

Gaige chuckled and snorted a little. "I'm sooo going to get you back for that later."

Kai just chuckled for a moment, then he glanced over at the pile of weapons he had laying on the bed. "Shit, what was I thinking, trying to take on the Bloodshots stronghold. I probably wouldn't have even made it past the main gate without expending half my ordinance. Let alone get past Bad Maw." He said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just be glad you have such an awesome friend like me," Gaige said as she wiped away the tears that still stained her face.

Kai gave a sigh and looked at her. "God, I must be the biggest ass for yelling at you like that."

"I'll let it slide this time."

"Did both Reiss and Moxxi ask really ask you to watch out for me?" Kai asked.

"Yeah, of course, I don't think Moxxi meant I should have punched you several times when she told me to check on you."

"I swear, this must be what it feels like have siblings with Moxxi and Reiss around." Kai expression then saddens as he lends his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "Shit… he's really gone. My best friend and basically my brother in all but blood is actually gone," He said. "And he just got the girl to… Hell, he was already planning on asking her to marry him…. Dammit man, why did it have to be you."

Gaige watches him and thought he might start crying as he kept berating himself. But after several minutes of him just sitting there, he had yet to shed a tear. This confused Gaige as any normal person would have been balling their eyes out by now, but then an idea occurred to her.

She slowly got up and went over and sat down next to Kai's on his right side, if he had reacted to this move he didn't show it. "You know, I think I get you. You're acting like one of those cliché hero types who try to put on a strong face so that others don't think you're weak... Kai, we're not even out of our teens yet, we can't be holding in baggage like that. So I going to tell you something that my mother always tells me in… these types of situations. Screw those who judge you, it's okay to cry."

Kai slowly looked to her, and slowly Gaige wrapped her arm around his shoulder, giving him a smile. Finally, after another minute, Kai slow began to weep for the first time in a long time.

X-X-X

The remaining Vault Hunters had finally brought back the power core and entered the city. They decided to go to the Medical Clinic to see if Gaige was there and see if Reiss had pulled through. They entered the clinic where they meet Zed.

"Well hello there strangers, what can I do for you."

"We're here to find our friend and see how Cpl. Reiss is doing," Axton said.

Zed just looked down and shakes his head. "I'm sorry folks, he didn't make it, there was just too much damage and blood loss. He died on the table about an hour ago."

Everyone had a reaction to this, including Zer0 who had a sad face appear on his mask.

"Considering the damage we saw, I'm not really surprised," Axton said somberly. "By chance did you also happen to see where our friend who brought Reiss in went?"

"Oh, the little Redhead? She was helping out as we tried to save Reiss, but I kicked her out shortly after Reiss died. Needed to clean and prep the body," Zed replied.

Axton was about to ask where she went when Salvador suddenly let out a pained groan. "I'm not feeling too good amigos." He suddenly claps his hand over mouth and attempted to locate a trash can or something, but soon he just threw up a putrid green and brown sludge right there on the floor.

Everyone else had mixed reactions of disgust at this, but Zed just stared for several seconds before asking. "Son, what have you eaten today?"

"Well, I had three of those awesome Pimentaco's we found in the Runner's," Sal said before heaving another load onto the floor.

Zed stared at Salvador in disbelief, then he slowly walked over to a control panel by the door and punched something in. Several seconds later the door slammed shut and there was a hiss of air as the room pressurized.

"Uh Doc, what are you doing?" Axton asked.

"Sanctuary health code number three, anyone who eats something made by Scotter must be quarantined for a minimum of twelve hours of observation. Sorry to do this to you all on your first day here, but it has to be done."

The Vault Hunters all turned to Salvador with various levels of anger in their eyes/helmet. Sal just nervously chuckled.

"Ugh, sorry." He said before he suddenly slapped his hand over his mouth as he started to turn green. Zed, handed him a bucket as he heaved into it.

"UGH! It like my insides are being baked in a volcano!" Salvador yells before planting his face in the bucket again.


	9. A New Day in Sanctuary

Gaige slowly began to wake up as the sun filtered through the window into her face. Her eyes were still closed but she was mentally aware of 'where' she was. She had stayed with Kai the night before; he basically cried himself to sleep after a few hours and Gaige had also fallen asleep on his shoulder. She was still too sleepy to be embarrassed at the moment and was content with just going back to sleep… at least until she heard a feral growl.

Gaige's eyes shot open and she found herself staring straight into the face of a pissed off looking wolf with red eyes. 'Oh crap, crap, crap,' she thought. The wolf was too close for her to try and summon DeathTrap, and as for her guns, they were sitting on a table downstairs.

"Um, nice doggie," she said only for the wolf to snarled at her making her yelp. This in turn cause Kai to stir a little which reminded Gaige of his presence. "Ugh, Kai," Gaige said quietly. He didn't react to this so she tried again a little louder. "Kai!"

"Wha," he mumbled as his mind started to stir.

"Kai, I hate to disturb you but there's a very angry wolf here, and I think he wants to eat me," Gaige said nervously as sweat starts to form on her brow.

Kai then stretched his arms before finally opening his eyes a little. He looked over to Gaige and then to Hati. It took his brain several seconds to finally register what he was looking at, as his eye widens in response. "HATI! She's friendly! Friendly!" Kai yelled.

Hati quickly turned to him and made several low woofs and barks. "Yes, she is dammit! For crying out loud boy, she's the one we've been waiting for! What's wrong with you?"

Hati gave several more woofs. "Well in her defense I did sort of agree with what she did," Kai said as he rubbed his chin. Gaige, who had been trying to make heads or tails of the conversation, finally realized what Hati was mad at.

"Wait, is he mad at the fact I punched you when you first answered the door?"

Hati turned and gave Kai a 'what's she talking about?' look. "She… may have also dropped my ass... with one punch... when I opened the door." Kai said.

Hati looked to Gaige for a few seconds then looked back to Kai and gave a small bark. "No, she didn't use the robot arm," Kai said reluctantly… Hati then began to snicker at Kai. "She caught me off guard, I had a rough day after…"

Kai looked down as Hati also dropped his head. Inwardly Gaige was starting to panic, she didn't want Kai to fall into a state of depression. Before Gaige could speak up however Hati lurched forward and bit Kai's hair and began shaking his head.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Hati that hurts!" Kai yelled.

Hati gave a rough growl.

"I am not an idiot!"

Hati growled and barked some more again.

"Wait... he said that."

Hati let go of him and opened his mouth and the sound of an old rewinding tape came out, then they both could hear what sounded like a TV in the background and Reiss talking... " _Hati, we may not always get along, but could you do me one favor. Watch out for Kai incase I… *Woof* Yeah, bite it… Make sure he doesn't do something stupid, keep him level-headed… And doesn't mope around. If he does, bit him."_

_*Woof, Woof*_

" _Thanks, man... OH COME ON SCRAP SURFER! How could have let him pass yo-" *Bzzzt*_

Hati looked back at Kai, and gave several more woof. Kai blankly stared for several seconds until he let out a sigh, "Even from the grave you crazy S.O.B... Thanks, buddy, I needed that. And thank you, Gaige." Kai said.

"Me? Why?", Gaige replied, slightly shocked.

"Well, you did stop me from doing something stupid, reckless, and more than possibly suici- YEEEEYOO!" He yelled as Hati bit him again. "Hati! What the hell, I'm trying to have a heart to heart and you just- OW! Oh that's it! Get over here!" Kai yelled as he tackled the wolf.

Gaige continued to watch for the next several minutes as the boy and his wolf continue their game of roughhousing. The scene finally peaked when Hati manage to pin Kai down while he just sat on his back with a smug face. Hati let out a few grunts. " I will never admit to the fact! NEVER!" Kai said before Hati took a paw and shoved Kai's face into the floor. "You know this means war, right?!" Kai's muffled voice said.

At this point, Gaige lost it and started laughing. For a few seconds, Kai was stunned by Gaige's laugh but quickly recomposed himself before she noticed. Of course, before he could say anything Hati just huffed and got off Kai's back before he dematerialized. Gaige stopped laughing and her eyes grew to be as big as dinner plates as she watched the wolf disappear into a thousand little lights that all quickly faded.

"What just happened?!"

"I told you before, I had an AI wolf made from hard light," Kai said as he got up.

"It's one thing to hear about it, its another to see it! Where's his projector!" Gaige asked as she jumped to her feet and looked around the room.

"It's on the desk next to-*VVVHHHM!* . . . The mouse." He finished as he looked to see Gaige had rushed over to the desk and was now looking over the projector.

"A Crystalline matrix projector, a VM5j processor, an actual Ano-Might Micro supercapacitor! This is so metal! How do you recharge him in the field!" Gaige asked.

"Uhhh, thermal thread, it's sewn into my clothes. It can pick up heat which is then converted to energy to charge him. He can be charged by just body heat alone."

"That's awesome!" She said excitedly. "How about his name. Is it an acronym for something."

"No, it's the name of a mythical wolf from Viking mythology who would chase after the moon to devour it. His full name is Hati Hróðvitnisson, the name means _he who hates_. The reason my mom named him that is because when she programmed him she overclocked his friend or foe subroutine, so when he sees Hyperion troops or Hyperion anything he would just go on a rampage if not watched. That or if someone tries to hurt those he considers a friend or ally."

"That's so B.A!... Is that why he looked like he was ready to bite me, because I attacked you earlier?" Gaige asked.

"Basically."

"Huh," Gaige said as she thought over everything until she realized something. "Wait, your mom made him?" She asked as Kai started putting away the guns he pulled out the day before.

"Yes, she did. She was part of a team that were all researching hard light and it's possible application. Hati was at first a mere pet project she started, in the most literal of terms. She wanted to make me a pet since my dad had horrible animal allergies, which meant I couldn't have a normal pet."

"So instead you got a fully sentient wolf who would kill a person if ordered to?" Gaige said with a questioning look.

"As I said, original he was to be a pet, but then the occupation started and my dad was killed. My mom wasn't one to actually go out and fight, and she was more than sure I would join the rebels when I grew up. So she wanted to be sure someone always had my back and would watch out for me if I was away." He said with a smile as he finished putting the last weapon away.

"Hati may be a short-tempered pain in my ass fairly often, but he's also the most reliable friend I've ever had next to Reiss… Which, by the way, I still plan on wreaking that Bloodshot camp that killed him." Kai pointed out. Making Gaige glare at him. "Of course I'll actually come up with a plan before I do. Maybe I could possibly get some of the other Raiders to help." he said to himself as he started pondering the thought.

"Something tells me that's already been taken care of." said Gaige..

Kai raised an eyebrow at this. "What do you mean?"

"Well the new friends I came with had to go to that Bandit camp anyways to retrieve the power core that they stole from Reiss. They're all trained fighters in one way or another annNND OH SHIT! I forgot about the others, Sal must be worried sick!"

X-X-X

-Somewhere in Sanctuary-

"I still don't feel quite right amigos," Salvador said as he and the others had now been searching the town for Gaige for almost three hours now.

"Shut up Sal, it's your fault that we're in this mess," Maya said.

Salvador just grumbled till he noticed something and tapped Axton on the arm. "Hey, check it out! They got a bar here, let's get drunk!" Salvador cheered, as he ran for Moxxi's.

Axton and Maya glanced at one another, and both just shrugged as they, Zer0, and Krieg followed the short man.

X-X-X

-Back at Kai's Place-

"Hmm, you said they're Vault Hunters, right?"

Gaige nodded.

"My guess, their ether at the Raider's HQ or, like any other Vault Hunter who just got into town and has no place to go, they are hanging out at Moxxi's. My bet is they're at Moxxi's," Kai said.

"Really, you think they would just go right to Moxxi's. Why?"

"Are you telling me none of your new friends are the type to hit a bar as soon as they see one?"

Gaige thought about it for a moment, until she sighed and muttered "Salvador" with a sigh.

Kai just chuckled at her response. "Tell you what, I'll go make us something to eat real quick, and then I'll help you look for them." Kai said as he started walking to the door.

"Yeah, you may want to put a hold on that," Gaige said with an apprehensive tone.

Kai turned to her and raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well after I took the liberty to treat myself to a _much_ needed shower, I decided to raid your fridge. Ether your food is all expired or someone is experimenting with bio-weapons, and I'm more inclined to say that it's the latter."

Kai cringed a little. "I guess me and Reiss had been eating at Moxxi's a bit more often than usual. Well, it looks like we're going out for breakfast, my treat. Go ahead and get ready, we will leave in a few minutes." Kai said as he left to got to the bathroom.

Gaige thought about it for a few seconds, 'Is it really okay to go out and eat when I should be looking for my friends?' Then her stomach gave a large growl. . . "Screw it, I'm hungry, we'll deal with it later."

-20 minutes later-

The Vault Hunters we're all gathered at one of the booth tables in Moxxi's, and most of them were either eating or drinking… or both.

"So let's see, we have been around town twice now and no one but the doc has seen her and no one knows where Gaige is. We're missing something… Maya can you maybe I don't know, detect her with your powers?" Axton asked.

"Do I look like a Jedi or something? My powers don't work that way." She replied angrily, making Axton flinch.

"Where could she have gone? / it is crucial we find her / I'm worried for her" Zer0 said ominously.

"Aww, and here I was afraid you guys didn't care about me."

Everyone turned and found a healthy Gaige standing in front of them in her usual outfit with a big grin on her face.

"GAIGE!" Everyone cheered. Axton reached out and pulled her in for a hug.

"Where the hell were you, little lady!? We've been looking for you all morning!"

Gaige quickly got out of his grasp looking a little disheveled. "Wait, what do you mean this morning? What were you doing last night?" Gaige said in a hurt tone as she quickly straightened her outfit.

"Sal here got us all stuck in quarantine at Zed's because of those pemintacos he ate made him sick." Maya said.

"Well that a stupid thing to do." Came another voice which everyone turned to. Kai was standing in front of the table with Hati in his normal mode to Kai's right.

Everyone was silent for a moment till Sal finally asked. "Who the hell are you?"

Gaige snapped her attention back to the moment, "Oh right! Everyone this is the friend I was telling you about, Kai."

Kai gave a smile, "Hel-." There was a flurry of weapons being drawn, cocked, and quickly shoved into Kai's face. "lo? . . . Ugggh, I come in peace," Kai said as he raised his hands to show peaceful intentions.

"GUYS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Gaige yelled in panic and anger.

"We're just making sure you're safe, after all, we don't know what this boy's intentions are for our group mascot." Axton said.

Kai raised an eyebrow and looked to Gaige. "Mascot? Really?" he asked with a grin as Gaige's face to turn red in embarrassment. This lasted until they all heard a growl, they looked to see Hati had grown in size and was now in attack mode next to Kai. While Hati looked ready to jump in and rip out everyone throats, he knew well enough that they would still be able to shoot him before he could even killed two of them.

"Easy boy," Kai said to Hati while trying not to move too much. "Look I get it, you all obviously care about Gaige to, but this is ridiculous. Besides, I don't want any of her friends getting hurt."

"And what makes you think we're the ones who will get hurt?" Salvador asked.

Kai looked over to his left and everyone looked in the same direction to see Moxxi behind the bar with her favorite gun, a Maliwan pistol called Rubi, aimed at them. Next to her, we're Susan and Abigail, who both had purple Maliwan SMGs, and Trixie with a Creamer rocket launcher.

"I'd suggest you all dial the heat back, after all, a lady doesn't like to make a mess," Moxxi said as she glanced at everyone. "But I will be forced to, however, if you don't point those guns away from one of my favorite customers." Moxxi said with a hint of venom in her voice.

"Plus, for every bullet, you guys fire at him will equal the number of slashes you'll each get from DT." Gaige added in.

After a moment of contemplating, Axton lowered his rifle. "You drive a hard bargain Red." The other Vault Hunters followed Axton's lead and lowered their weapons till Zer0 was the only one left with his sniper rifle out. "Zer0, come on man, this needs to be a group effort." Axton said.

After several more seconds, Zer0 finally put his rifle away, as Moxxi and the girls put down their own weapons. Kai was finally able to let out that breath he was holding. "Thanks, Moxxi. Thanks, Gaige."

"Anytime hun, we can't let our favorite customers be killed in my own establishment," Moxxi said as her waitresses all nodded. "Now what can I get you this morning?"

"Two of my usual." Kai said.

Moxxi nodded to Abigail who went to work, as Moxxi turned back to everyone. "By the way, how are you feeling Kai?"

Kai gave a drawn-out sigh. "It… Hurts, but it helps to have a friend around." He said as he looks to Gaige who gave a small smile. "Especially when said friend knocks some sense into you, both literally and figuratively."

Moxxi cocked an eyebrow and looked at Gaige. "What does he mean by 'literally' Gaige?"

Hati who had reverted back to his normal mode started to snicker as Gaige felt like she was being stared down by a mama bear. Everyone else was also nervous by the sheer tension that suddenly seemed to fill the room. Moxxi glanced at Kai and noticed the busted lip he had. "I'll ask again. What does he mean?" Moxxi said even more sternly.

"Ughhh…." Was all Gaige could utter.

"I was acting like an idiot Moxxi," Kai interjected. "After she told me what happened to Riess I… I started getting ready to face the Bloodshots. Gaige tried to talk me down, and I said some things I regret saying now. She then proceeded to snap and punch me in the stomach with her robot arm, jump on top of me, and repeatedly punch me in the face till I saw the errors of my ways."

Everyone was silent for several seconds till Susan spoke up, "Told you she'd jump him on the first night."

Everyone but Kai and Gaige descended into hysterical laughter. Gaige pulled her hood up to try and hide her blushing face as Kai merely sighed and shook his head and muttered "Radi Boga". After several minutes of laughter, everyone finally calmed down and Abigail came with Kai and Gaige's orders. They both grabbed some chairs and joined the others at the table.

"So, Gaige. Are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Kai asked as he bit into his toast.

"Oh yeah! Well, this is Axton, our resident ex-commando." Gaige started.

"Sup." Axton replied.

"Maya, one of only six Sirens in the universe." Maya just waved.

"Salvador, the man of many guns, punches, and vulgar insults." Gaige continued.

"Hola, amigo." Sal said before letting out a loud belch.

"Zer0 our assassin," Gaige continued.

Zer0 just sat there and stared at Kai.

"One of few words… Also, most of his words are in haikus or hologram emotes." Gaige added.

"Why haiku's?" Kai asked.

"We've asked but then he answers us with a really confusing haiku, anyways our last member is well... we're not entirely sure what he is, but this is Krieg." Gaige concluded.

At that moment, a conversation was occurring in Krieg's mind. **_'Alright, now just be calm, and say hello to him.'_**

"I greet you with all of my blade's happy blood, and hope we make the gold monsters that haunt me bleed like a river of hate!" Krieg growled out.

Kai looked at Krieg with a surprised look. **' _Oh, great first impression. Now he'll think that we are-'_**

"Well then, I'm sure will find the bastard that did this to you." Kai replied.

Everyone was silent as they tried to process what just happened.

 **' _Did he just… Ask him something else.'_** Krieg's inner voice implored.

"You read the screams that fill my wind tunnel?" Krieg asked.

"Yes, I can understand you, mostly anyways; otherwise I can at least get the gist of it." Kai responded. "Let me guess, a Dr. Royd."

Krieg's eye widened in shock only to narrow as he growled in response. "Meat bag lied. Said it won't make blood curdle. Smashed think box in two and head voice won't stop!"

' _ **If I did, you would probably kill anything that moves!** ' _Inner Krieg replied.

"Wait, back up, you can understand Krieg? How?" Maya asked.

"From my homeworld Polaris, which Hyperion invaded and occupied for about ten years. During the early days of the Hyperion occupation before any real fighting broke out several hundred civilians were kidnapped and experimented on. Most who survived had almost no ability to control themselves and had to be put down. As for the few who didn't have their minds scrambled so badly they were only just a few notches up from a mindless killing machine. We found out that those few who retained some of their sanity had a case of split or multiple personality disorder, typically the more insane side is the more dominant one that takes over so we had to learn how to understand them. Oddly enough it's not too dissimilar to Psycho speak. Anyways, it sounds like your buddy here has the former considering he seems to allude to only one other personality. That about right?" He asked Krieg, who nodded before Kai continued, "They were all experimented on by a Dr. Royd, a big shot Hyperion medical doctor and researcher… Krieg by chance, is that bastard on this planet?"

"... Yes." Krieg replied shocking everyone else at the uncharacteristically simple and clear response that lacked his usual insanity.

"Well, if we find any leads about him, count me in on the hunt. I want to get some payback for myself, as well for fellow comrades he tortured."

Krieg jumped up from his seat and grabbed Kai and brought him into a bone-crushing hug. "New murder buddy!"

"Urk! Gaige. Help. Can't... Breathe." Kai said in a raspy voice that caused everyone to laugh.

After Gaige finally freed Kai, they all spent the next hour talking about each other, how Gaige and Kai met, a bit of his past, and finally they told Kai about their adventure on the southern shelf.

"Damn, that's a cool way to start your first week on Pandora, so what do you all plan on doing now?" He asked them.

"Well I was thinking about starting up a little restaurant in town, you know to settle down, find a girl, and what do you think! We're here to hunt for the Vault!" Axton replied.

Kai leaned back into his chair before speaking again. "Well... unless you either have a spare Vault key or a way of taking down Handsome Jack, then I'm sorry to say this, but you're shit out of luck."

"What do you mean?" Salvador asked.

Kai quickly explained to the Vault Hunters about how Jack had stolen the Vault key, and without it, they were basically screwed even if they found the Vault.

"Well, that sucks," Maya said, before looking back to Kai, "Hey Kai, by chance, can you tell me where I can find a former Vault Hunter by the name of Lilith? The main reason I came to Pandora was to learn about my Siren heritage, and I thought talking with another siren would be a good start."

Kai cringed and gave Maya an uneasy look as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Yeeeah, about that. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Lilith was killed over three years ago during the Hyperion attack on New Haven... Sorry."

"Oh. I see." Maya said with much disappointment. This left everyone in a depressing mood as they now had nothing to do.

"This set-back annoys / And Jack keeps angering me / I need a challenge."

"Well, perhaps I could help you with that good sirs and ladies." Said a familiar voice.

They all looked to see Sir Hammerlock standing in the doorway to the bar with his hands behind his back and a new swatch of Bullymong fur coming out of his hat.

"Hammer! Your back! Love the new hat decorations." Kai said, pointing to the swatch of Bullymong fur.

"Why thank you Kai, and where would your dear friend Reiss be at? He's usually with you when you come here." Hammerlock obviously said.

The mood dropped right then as the memories came back.

"He's… he's no longer with us." Kai said dropping his head a little

"Oh what do- Oh. Oh dear... When did he-?"

"Yesterday. The Bloodshots ambushed him, and Gaige and the others here tried to save…" Kai seemed to choke up a little. Gaige quickly rested a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

"I'm so terribly sorry my friend, he was a good man, a true friend, and a noble badass." Hammerlock said trying to lighten the mood, to no avail.

After several silent moments, Maya decided to finally speak up. "Soooo, Hammerlock, you said you had a job?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Hmm... oh right! Bully-mong. Rubbish name, isn't it? I'd like a better one before my almanac goes to print. Search some Bullymong bone piles, will you? I'll learn something about their diets, and come up with a catchier name for the beasts. Also go ahead a kill a few dozen or so. It will help to have some more references on how they fight, and I'll pay you all a nice bonus for each one." Hammerlock finished.

They all looked to one another and with several shrugs, Axton turns back to Hammerlock. "Why not, it not like we have anything better to-"

Axton was interrupted as the streets of Sanctuary filled with the sound of an air raid siren.

"What's going-" Maya started to ask until there was a deafening 'thump' of something impacting above them. With the exception of Kai and Hammerlock, all of the Vault Hunters jumped for cover. There were about a dozen more impacts before they stopped; the siren died off soon after.

"What the HELL was that!" Gaige yelled as she got out from under the table.

"That would be a Hyperion moonshot bombardment. Jack typically hits us with one at least once a week." Hammerlock said.

"Actually, he increased it since you've been gone. More like two or three times a week now." Kai said.

"Well that can't be good, good thing we have the shield to protect us. Well then, you all better go rearm and prepare for your excursion. I'll call you when you get there, and give you any further instructions then." Hammerlock said. He was about to walk away when he stopped and turned back.

"Oh, I almost forgot. There's also a rumor of a bandit who lives out in the Marrow Fields called Savage Lee. He was supposedly raised by Bullymongs and now leads a pack of them."

"Really? You actually believe that Urban legend. Come on Hammerlock, you can't be serious." Kai said.

"I swear upon my honor as a hunter and a gentleman that he is real." Hammerlock said as he placed his hand over his heart and stood rigid. "I've seen him with my own eyes too."

"Right, just like the tooth fairy, or Terramorphous." Kai said.

"Hmph. Well if the rest of you see him, try and observe him. He would make a truly interesting find. Well then, good luck Vault Hunters, and have fun." Hammerlock said before walking away.

"Well, it not my ideal job, but a job's a job." Axton said. He was about to say something else when everyone ECHO's came to life as a message came through the open ECHO channel.

" _Bandits of Sanctuary, this is Handsome Jack here, just wishing you a good day, and to remind you of your inevitable defeat. But there is a silver lining, I hear there are some new Vault Hunters who have arrived in your city. So just turn 'em into me, and you'll be rewarded."_

The Vault Hunters all looked to one another with nervous glances. "Don't worry, nobody would do that here. At least nobody with half a brain cell." Kai said. "Nearly everyone here has a bone to pick with Jack."

Just then Axton's ECHO came on.

" _Hello Vault Hunters, made it to Banditville, huh? Well done!"_ He said as clapping could be heard, _"It'll be nice to see a few friendly faces when I'm burning that place to the ground."_

"Get close to Sanctuary, Jackass, and the only thing you'll see is a bullet with your name on it just before it nails that piece of plastic you call a face." Kai said, as cold as ice.

" _... Well, well, well if it isn't the wannabe freedom fighter. I have to say I really 'enjoyed' that last prank you pulled; so much in fact that as a reward, I've raised the bounty on your head."_

"Really! Oh boy, how exciting, I can't wait to see the new bounty poster! The old one just doesn't catch my good side." Kai spat back.

" _Well I hope you enjoy the new renown, now why don't you just go back to your planet before - Oh! That's right, I destroyed it along with all your friends and family."_

"Not all of his friends, shitface!" Gaige loudly replied.

" _Wait is that… WHAT!? Did you know that little!? . . . I thought I told you to find everything about them!"_ Jack yelled to someone.

" _What do you mean you didn't find a connection, you're supposed to be able to-... You know what fuck it, FUCK IT!... *Sigh* Sorry about that, so you two know each other. This will just make things more fun for me when I come a knocking. So you idiots all better strap in, because Jack's coming, and there nothing you can do about it."_

There was a pause for a moment before Jack spoke up again. _"Oh, and I've decided that I will tell all of you my secret later on. Once you've all earned it."_ he said before the line went dead.

Everyone just sat there for a minute without saying anything. "Well that just happened," Maya said before turning to Kai. "I'm guessing this isn't the first time you and Handsome Jack have butted heads."

"Hardly, the last time I had a run in with the Handsome Jackass, I destroyed a prototype Loader he tried to use to kill Roland." He paused for a moment, "I also sent a computer virus to him again, the same one several times now." he said with a grin.

"Right, well we better go load up before we go." Axton said as he was about to get up.

"Hold on, before we go do anything, do any of you have any Hyperion weapons with you?" Kai asked.

Everyone looked at him. "I've got a few, but I was just going to sell them." Maya said.

"Same here." Axton said.

"Umm, I currently have a Hyperion SMG equipped." Gaige said.

"Okay, well you're all going to have to drop those off at the Raiders HQ."

"What? Why?" Maya asked.

"Because they need to be checked for bugs." Kai answered.

Everyone just stared at him.

"Bugs? As in a listening device, bug? Your joking, right?" Gaige asked.

"Isn't that a bit paranoid man?" Axton said.

"Not really, to date we've found about seventy bugs since we started screening them. We've also have been finding tracking chips in the more recent batches of weapons."

"Jack really that crazy to go to such lengths?" Salvador asked.

"Actually this strategy has been used for years, way before any of us were even born. But I've never seen it used on any other weapons other than Hyperion's own weapons. Some corporate legal BS." Kai replied.

"I can confirm / Found these devices before / An unnerving find." Zer0 said.

"So what, you guys just toss or destroy every Hyperion weapon then?" Axton said.

"Pfft, fuck no. We refurbish them and put them to use, that or sell them to Marcus. A gun is a gun after all so why toss it… Unless it's a white rarity. If it's white, it ain't right." Kai said getting a few questioning looks.

"Well, why don't we split up and deal with both tasks separately. One group takes the weapons to the Raiders HQ, and the others go get ammo and any other supplies we need." Axton said. "Me, Maya, and Salvador will-"

"Uuugh, actually I need to go see Zed again. My stomach is still a little… ugh, loco." Salvador said.

Axton gave a sigh. "I told you that drinking right after having your stomach pumped was a bad idea." Axton replied. "Right, Zer0, take Salvador to Zed's. Gaige, you go-"

"I'm going with Kai!" Gaige interrupted. Axton frowned at this but Gaige just rolled her eyes. "You're not my dad Axton, and besides, if I can drop him on his ass twice in one day I think I can handle him."

"Wait, I thought you said you only got him once." Maya said.

Everyone was silent for several seconds until they heard Hati start snickering uncontrollably. "Oh shut up you damn mutt." Kai grumbled, causing Hati to snicker even more.

The Vault Hunters all paid Moxxi, left the bar, and split up to run their separate errands. Axton, Maya, and Krieg left for Raiders HQ to take everyone's Hyperion weapons there and check out their housing. Salvador and Zer0 went back to Zed's to get something for Salvador's stomach. Kai and Gaige, meanwhile, were off to get ammo and a new gun to replace her Hyperion SMG.

After they both left they went down the block from Moxxi's until they reached a dead-end alleyway. "Where are we going anyways?" Gaige wondered aloud.

"Marcus Munitions, your one stop shop for all your killing needs." Kai said as they walked down a set of stairs into a room which was fairly small with only two vending machines and a customer counter with a large set man behind it looking over a Jakobs revolver. Another man was there In front of them.

"This gun doesn't seem to work, can I have a refund?" The unknown customer said.

"Hmm, I dunno" the large man hummed as he looked it over. He suddenly brought it up and shot a round into the guys left kneecap, causing the man to fall over while screaming in pain as he grabbed his leg.

"Looks like it works too me." The man behind the counter said as he gave the other man a sly smile, showing off the gold tooth he had.

Gaige at this moment had attempted to pull her gun but Kai just grabbed her arm. She turned to him and he gave a small shake of his head before looking back to the scene.

"You shot me! You shot me you BASTARD!" The man yelled.

"Nobody cares, now scram, your bleeding on my floor." The large man said. The local quickly stumbled back up the stairs and out of the store.

"Why does nobody understand the phrase 'no refunds.'" The man said to himself.

"Because you're too much of a cheapskate to put it on a sign." Kai said.

"Ah! Kai, it's been awhile. Heard about Reiss, it's always a shame to lose a good customer."

"Well, you could be a little nicer about it, Marcus." Kai said with a bit of anger.

"Eh, whatever…. Who's the shrimp?" Marcus asked as he pointed at Gaige.

"I'm no shrimp." Gaige pouted.

"This is Gaige, a friend of mine who just arrived in Sanctuary. We're here to get some ammo and upgrade her gear."

Marcus rubbed his chin, "I see, well let see what you have to work with." Gaige brought out all of her main weapons, and Marcus took a look at each. He spent extra time on the Rogue Smuggler. "This is a nice weapon you have here. Would you be interested in… selling it." Marcus asked with a greed ridden smile.

"Hell no!" Gaige replied, as she quickly grabbed the pistol and holstered it. "I will never sell this as long as I live!"

"Fine, fine. From what I can tell you have an okay set of weapons. However, you don't have any elemental weapons other than your cryo grenade, and that shotgun. you could swap either the shotgun for something, or sell the rest of your weapons and I can get you a new uncommon and a decent rare weapon, if it in your budget. Any particular elemental weapons you'd be interested in?" Marcus finished with a small smile.

"Uuuugh..." Gaige looked around unsure of what to say.

"You've never even fired an elemental weapon, have you?" Marcus asked with a deadpan expression.

"Only the grenade mod I have, and I didn't even know it was an elemental." Gaige said sheepishly.

"Well then, you arrived at just at the right time, I got a little job for the both of you. I just got a brand new batch of Maliwan elemental weapons. You want to help me test them out. I might let you keep one as payment." Marcus said.

Kai and Gaige looked at one another till they both shrugged their shoulders. "Why not, we got the time." Kai said.

Marcus soon met them in the indoor shooting range with two crates marked Maliwan. He opened the first to show about a dozen pistols of various colors. The next box had several SMGs and one more item.

"Is that a corrosive laser?" Kai asked as he looked over the weapons.

"Came with the order as a bonus." Marcus said.

"Nice... Actually, these guns look better than your usual stock. Where exactly did you get these Marcus." Kai asked with a slight glare.

"I ugh, well, ugh, uh-hem! Let's get started shall we." Marcus said

He pressed a button next to one of the shooting booths, which wheeled in the targets from out of the shadows downrange. However, instead of a paper target, a chained up Hyperion commando with a ball gag in his mouth was brought in.

"What the hell!?" Gaige said in shock.

"Oh hey, that's the bastard that Michael hit in the nuts with the wrench last week."

"Yup, we didn't get much out of him though. He tried to kill himself by gulping down a bit of Eridium dust. However, that combined with the regenerator Zed hooked him up to heal him caused him to develop an insane healing factor. You can shoot him all you want and he'll just heal back to normal in seconds."

"... Huh, that's cool, what's the catch." Kai asked.

"His long-term memory is fucked, he remembers everything from his past but can't make any new memories. His short-term memory is still there, but his mind resets every ten minutes. You can't really interrogate a guy who heals instantly and can't remember anything after ten minutes. Plus if he's disconnected from the regenerator, he'll go into a seizure; so some of the Raiders decided to put him here for target practice."

"Isn't this a bit cruel and inhumane even by Pandoran standards?" Gaige asked nervously, as both men were being surprisingly calm about the situation.

"Not after what you hear him say." Marcus stated as he walked over and removed the ball gage.

"HYPERION IS GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU FUCKERS! AND THEN JACK WILL PISS ALL OVER YOUR CORPSES, AND THEN KILL ALL THE REST OF THE BANDIT SCUM ON THIS ROCK!" Then a sinister smile crossed his face. "But first, I'm gonna break free, kill you two, and then ass fuck that little red-headed bit-OMF!" He choked as Marcus shoved the ball gag back in his mouth.

"God, you're annoying. Any questions." Marcus asked.

Gaige stared at the Commando for several seconds until she narrowed her eyes, held out her hand and asked, "Give me a gun."

"Alright! Let's try out the fire weapon first, eh?" Marcus said as he came back over and handed her a Maliwan fire pistol.

Gaige took aim and fired several times into the Commando. After the third shot hit the man he suddenly burst into flames and began letting out muffled screams of agony.

"Wow!" was all Gaige could say.

"Yup. Fire weapons are extremely effective against flesh, but they're crap at destroying shields." Marcus said with a grin.

"They're also great tools for when you have to start a fire like for a campfire, burning a Varkid nest, or… I don't know, burning down a trailer park."

"Why would you say that?" Gaige asked.

Kai just shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know… but for some reason, I feel like we will be doing that in the future."

Gaige nodded then grabbed another gun from one of the crates, as Kai started testing some weapons himself. The next gun that Gaige pulled out was an SMG with a glowing blue barrel. At the same time, Marcus hit a button and a shield formed around the Commando, who's ball gag had fallen out of his mouth because of the fire damage it took.

"HA! I've got a shield fucker! What now?!" the Commando said.

"This Hyperion fascist thinks he's safe cause he's got a shield. Spoilers: he isn't," Marcus said "try shooting him with it."

Gaige took aim with the SMG and fired, and quickly bullets began pelting the shield which was quickly depleted. The following bullets hit the Commando directly and he began to scream in agony as he went into a spasm. "Fu-u-u-uck yo-u bi-i-i-tch!" He screamed and twitched.

"Take that, Jack-lover! A few good hits from a shock weapon will zap a shield away quicker than you can say 'buyer's remorse'!" Marcus said with a laugh.

Gaige looked at the gun and then back to the crispy Commando. Slowly, a sinister grin grew across her face. "Ohhhh…. I like this gun."

She slapped in another magazine and started pelting the Commando again and again. After the fifth mag she dumped into the bastard, Kai began to notice something. "Gaige, why are you losing accuracy?"

Gaige looked at Kai then back to the Commando and saw that half of her shots had missed. "Oh, that, that's because of my Anarchy skill. It basically takes the kinetic energy from my recoil and stores it in a capacitor in my arm as stacks. These stacks then, in turn, boost the damage of my weapon, however, the more stacks I have the harder it because to shoot accurately because the charge causes interference with my arms gyroscopic sensor, making it harder to stabilize my firing. Also, for some reason, I lose all my stacks when I reload a gun that still has ammo left... I don't know why though."

"And this affects all weapons?" Kai asked, intrigued.

"Well, Hyperion weapons have that reverse recoil which counteracts it some, but other than that the only weapon that I can shoot accurately with is my dad's gun."

Marcus and Kai stared at her for several seconds, till Marcus spoke up. "Look, I don't have time for any of that damn techno-wizardry, okay. Now, what else. Ah yes! Armor!"

Marcus pressed a few buttons on the control panel again and a chained up Hyperion Loader rolled up next to the Commando.

"Armored targets, like these damned Hyperion robots, can take a lot of damage. It'll take way too long to break through armor with bullets alone! Armor is resistant to most damage types… unless you've got a corrosive weapon."

He said as he handed Gaige the corrosive laser.

Gaige took aim with the laser at the Loader and fired. A green beam sliced through the air wildly and hit the target, Gaige stopped firing after about a second. "Damn! For a laser, this thing has some major kick. But it's still so cool!"

"There are three types of lasers, blaster (rapid or shotgun spread), Railguns, and continuous beam lasers like the one you have there. This one can shoot a constant stream till the cell is depleted, but as you saw for yourself, they kick like a bucking Bull Horned Skag. Also, all laser weapons are elemental weapons, fire are the most common type. Though personally, I would love to have a Cryo laser." Kai said.

"Let's continue on with the test, try shooting the Loader again." Marcus interjected. Gaige took aim again and properly readied herself for the recoil this time. After a few more adjustments she fired. While the beam moved around again, Gaige managed to keep it on the Loader. As the beam persisted, the acid-infused energy beam began to rapidly melt the robot's armor. A few seconds later the hips and legs fell off, leaving the main torso unit strapped to the pole. "See how the acid eats through the metal? I must confess, I love corrosive weapons. Next up explosive!" Marcus said as Gaige handed the laser back.

"Explosives aren't an element." Gaige responded.

"Yes, it's an element; don't question it. Don't you have Torgue weapons on you?" Marcus asked. Gaige nodded and pulled out her Torgue shotgun. "Now, Explosive guns do… okay damage to all enemy types, but they have a sizable blast radius. Go ahead and try it out on both targets."

Gaige took aim and fired at the Commando. It took several more shots to break his shield, but once it was down Gaige could see the Explosive pellets tearing him up. She reloaded again and fired at what remained of the Loader. Its weakened armor buckled under the force of the Explosive and failed after five shots. "Woah, that was fun." Gaige said excitedly.

"See? The damage wasn't amazing, but it's equally effective against shields, armor, or flesh. But really, who cares? Explosions! Now, let's try out these new slag guns!" Marcus said as Gaige put her shotgun away and then picked up a pistol with a purple glowing barrel. "Slag is a bit more complex. If you slag your enemy, all NON-slag damage will hurt even more! Here, slag this chump." Gaige fired the full three shots which, while they penetrated the Commando, didn't do much damage. "Good, now switch to another weapon."

Gaige set the Maliwan pistol down and pulled her Rogue Smuggler out. She didn't bother to aim for the head and just shot at the torso. This time, large chunks of flesh were being torn out by each shot."

"How the hell is that even possible?" Gaige asked.

"Slag a weird element. No one really knows how it works or why it works. Now we have one more element, Cryo." Marcus said with some excitement in his voice.

"What's to know, it's a gun that freezes." Gaige said.

"There's more to it than that. While Cryo does temporarily freeze targets, it also has some similarities to slag. If you shoot at a frozen target, you'll do more damage and even more damage than that on critical points. But, unlike slag, it also causes damage to the target… Plus, it's so satisfying when you shoot them in the head and their whole body shatters." Marcus said as he looked up with a dreamy look in his eye.

"That actually sounds awesome." Gaige said as she shouldered the SMG. She fired a burst at the Commando and after about seven hits his body began to ice over. "That's sooo cool! Pun fully intended." Gaige said with a smile. She swapped to the Rogue Smuggler again and fired several bursts at the Commando's head. However, after dumping the whole clip, he didn't shatter. "Heeeey! What gives? I thought you said he would shatter."

Both Kai and Marcus were pondering this as well. "Think it has something to do with his regeneration?" Kai asked Marcus.

Marcus just shrugged in response, "I don't know. But at least now I have a good target to charge extra for," he said with a grin. "I know a few Raiders who will love this guy."

"Always thinking with your wallet, eh Marcus?" Kai said as he put the last weapon he tested back in the crate. "Well they all check out… Except for this SMG, scope seems off a little."

"Well then I guess it's time for your payment. Pick any one of these guns, minus the laser." Marcus finished as Gaige had opened her mouth to speak only to close it in disappointment. Gaige looked at all the weapons, and after about a minute she chose a rare Maliwan shock SMG.

"Remember, if you want to purchase any elemental weapons like these, you could always buy some from your friendly neighborhood arms dealer." Marcus said as if reciting his own vending machines.

"Only if we want to break the bank." Kai said.

"Kai! My prices are always fair and reasonable." Marcus said with mock hurt in his voice.

"You tried to sell me an assault rifle with a cracked scope for half a million bucks first time I came here." Kai said matter of factly.

"It was a fine weapon otherwise, though."

"Not that fine." said Kai, while shaking his head.

"This is what I get for selling to a gunsmith's apprentice. Just get out of here already, I've got work to attend to."

They both quickly bought some ammo, Gaige sold her extra loot, and then they left to meet with everyone. As they were walking to the town center the both began talking about the possible application of different elements with different weapons when Kai suddenly bumped into something. He looked down to find a short yellow robot in front of him.

"Sorry stranger, I was just looking around for... MINION!" Claptrap cheered when he noticed Gaige. "Minion, where have you been? I was going to show you all a shortcut to Sanctuary, but you wandered off."

"Wait, you knew a shortcut!" Gaige said in shock, but Claptrap ignored her.

"Hey, who's this guy." Claptrap said pointing to Kai.

"Oh, right, this is my longtime friend Kai, Kai this is-"

"Hyperion CL4P-TP general purpose Robot, but you can call me Claptrap. How would you like to be one of my new minions."

Kai just continued to stare at Claptrap for several more seconds until he whipped his Maliwan pistol out and shoved it right into Claptrap's eye.

"AaaAAAHH!" Claptrap screeched in panic.

"WOAH! KAI!" Gaige yelled as she grabbed his arm and forced it up. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

"Ugh... oh geez, look at the time. I got to go!" Claptrap said as he quickly rolled off.

"GET BACK HERE YOU DAMN TRASH CAN!" Kai yelled as he broke free of Gaige's grip. He was about to run after the robot when Gaige grabbed the back of his jacket collar with her robot arm and yanked, causing him to fall flat on his back. Kai groaned and looked up to see Gaige pinning him down with her foot. "Gaige, what the hell? Why would you save a Hyperion robot?"

"Claptrap is a friend, an annoying friend maybe, but still a friend!"

"Why the hell would you trust a Hyperion robot after what Jack... almost…. did," he slowed down.

Gaige was confused as to why he suddenly stopped talking and was about to ask what was wrong when she noticed Kai's face getting red. This perplexed Gaige for several seconds until the reality of the whole situation dawned on her. Immediately she jumped several steps back and held her skirt down as her face was blushing as red as her hair.

". . . You looked, didn't you." Gaige asked, in a small voice.

"Ugh… It was an accident." Kai sheepishly said as he sat up.

Gaige glared at him for several seconds until she suddenly charged at him. Just before reaching Kai she brought her left leg up and then kicked forward. All Kai saw was black and white stripes with a cute skull image before Gaige's foot impacted his face.

X-X-X

About ten minutes later the rest of the Vault Hunters were waiting in the center of town for their last two members.

"Where are they? They were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." Axton asked.

"Relax hombre, Gaige can take care of herself." Salvador said, as he was shaking out one of his boots.

Maya was leaning against a newsstand, Zer0 was curiously looking over a chunk of Eridium he and Sal had… 'found' at Zed's, while Krieg was repeatedly tossing his ax in the air and trying to catch it. Finally, their last two members walked up to them.

"Where the hell were you two?" Axton inquired. "And what happened to your face?" He asked Kai, who was holding an insta-heal coated cloth to the side of his face.

"We ran into Claptrap, and I tried to kill it. But as I tried to chase after him I…" he glanced to Gaige who had an angry pout on her face and still had a strong blush. "I tripped and hit some steps… With my face."

Axton and Maya looked at them both questionably, Zer0 locked his gaze upon Kai, Sal started grinning after a few seconds observing the situation, and Krieg then spoke up. "Kill buddy saw the gates to heaven and was burned by the wrath of fire!" Krieg said with a laugh as he danced around.

"It was an accident! So shut up." Kai said angrily.

"Wait, what did he say," Axton asked raising an eyebrow while Maya covered her mouth to hide her laughter after realizing what Krieg meant.

"Can we just go already, I wanna kill something." Gaige said causing Kai to cringe a little.

X-X-X

About thirty minutes later they had all gone out to a Fast-Travel Station in Three Horns Divide, got their instructions from Hammerlock, and split into two teams. Kai and Gaige were with Salvador and Zer0 originally, but when Hammerlock asked them to shoot a few dozen projectiles that the 'Ferovore's' threw out of the air, Sal and Zer0 decided to split off to find and corner a Ferovore slinger. So Gaige and Kai slowly walked along near the outskirts of the Marrow Fields.

Kai looked over to Gaige, who still appeared mad at him. After another five minutes of silence, Kai sighed and turned to Gaige.

"Look, Gaige, I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. . . look, it just kind of happened." Kai said as he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

Gaige glanced to him as they continued to walk. "I'm not mad at you for that Kai."

"Wait, so you're not mad at me for seeing up your skirt?" Kai asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I am mad at that," she said as more blush painted her cheeks as she slightly turned her face away from him. "I accept that that was partially my fault. No, what I'm mad is that you tried to kill Claptrap without a second thought."

"Oh." was all Kai could say. He thought about it for a minute after that. "Why? It's just a Hyperion Robot."

"Claptrap isn't "with" Hyperion anymore! He his own person... robot, whatever. Besides, I like him, unlike most people, who find all found Claptrap units to be straight up annoying and problematic I find it enduring that this one can still be friendly. Really though, you can't blame a robot for how it was programmed, you can only try and fix it or curse the programmer."

"Okay, so everyone hates them but you, I still don't see why you stopped me." said Kai, not yet understanding.

"Ugh, Okay, let me explain it to you. As annoying as Claptrap can be, he's still a sentient being, unlike the average Hyperion loader. Maybe not, living like you and me, but he still has his own will from what I've seen, like Hati."

Kai looked over to Hati, who was scouting about twenty meters in front of them. Although Hati was programmed to protect him, he still showed a surprising amount of free will compared to many of the other AIs made in his mother's lab.

"Plus, he's a lot like you." Gaige said.

"Like me? How is that tin can anything like me?" Kai asked in disbelief.

"Well… Okay, maybe "like you" isn't the right words. He… shares a similar past with you, Claptrap is the last of his kind, and it's all Jack fault."

"What do you mean?" Kai asked with genuine curiosity.

"The first order that Jack made after he took over Hyperion several years ago was to literally kill off Claptrap's entire product line. The Claptrap you met is probably the last of his kind, just like you are the last of your people."

That actually hit Kai hard. He was about to kill a robot that basically lived through a genocide quite similar to what he had seen and ironically, in a sick and twisted sort of way, both events were caused by the same person. It honestly didn't sit well with him.

"Okay, so I may have jumped the gun a little." He noticed Gaige glaring at him. "Okay fine, a lot, but you have to understand by this point, I'm basically hardwired to shot, kill, or destroy anything with a Hyperion logo; especially robots. I've been fighting Hyperion Loaders nearly every day for three years since they became Hyperion main frontline unit." said Kai.

"And I get that, but do you always have to go with the shot first ask later mentality?" Gaige asked with a tilt of her head.

"Okay, I'll only use that if said target is in Hyperion yellow... Excluding Claptrap."

"Is this also part of the reason why you had everyone either toss or give any their Hyperion weapons to this Tannis guy."

"Woman actually."

"Really?"

"Yep. She's also smart like you, of course, she's also a little..."

"Crazy?" Gaige inserted.

"I was gonna say social challenged," Kai remarked. "But getting back on topic, I take that the moral of the story is: be nicer to Claptrap or you'll rip me a new one with your robot arm."

"Exactly." Gaige said with a cute smile.

Suddenly their ECHO's crackled to life as Hammerlock came on. " _Bloody balls! "Ferovore" is trademarked! RRGH! Sod it! I'm so sick of coming up with names for them. You know what? "Bonerfart." All of them, that's right, we're calling them "Bonerfarts" now. Just kill a few of them or something. I don't care anymore."_

Both Vault Hunters stopped and looked at each other. After a few seconds, they both started laughing uncontrollably.

"Really!? Bonerfarts! I don't think I can take them seriously anymore." Kai said.

"I'm so posting this on my next ECHO!"

Just then they both heard a howl from nearby, Kai looked around and realized Hati wasn't in sight anymore. "Hati found something, come on." He said as he rushed for the source of the howl with Gaige chasing after him.

After a minute they rushed around a large boulder and found Hati locked in combat with a man. He had on an old Psycho's mask and a makeshift helmet out of a… Bonerfart's skull. He didn't have a shirt, but he did have a pair of shoulder pads and leg guards also made from bone. And in his hand was a rusty axe.

"Holy skaglicks! Savage Lee is real!?" Kai said.

"I did not expect this." Gaige added as they watched Lee and Hati fight.

" _My goodness, you found Savage Lee! Engage him in combat so that I may be able to study his behavior and combat skills… Then proceed to kill him."_ Hammerlock added excitedly _._

"Kill him!? Hammer, isn't that a little extreme? I mean, he's just a-"

"I'm gonna feed you to the pack, then wear your bloody ribcage like a corset!" Lee yelled/interrupted.

Kai just casually turned to see Gaige's dumbfounded face. "I… I shouldn't even question you guys anymore about who to kill when you tell me to." She said.

"Yeah. It makes things a lot easier" Kai replied.

Suddenly they both heard a yelp and turned to see Hati de-rezzing as Lee started to jump around cheering like a madman, only to stop when he saw the Vault Hunters. They all stared at one another for several seconds, until Lee let out an animalistic war cry and charged.

"Incoming! Kai yelled as he pulled out his Maliwan pistol and fired three shots while Gaige pulled out her new SMG.

Two of the three shots hit the unshielded man in the chest, but it did little to stop him. Gaige fired her SMG, and though her accuracy was skewed, about a dozen rounds found their mark. While this had more of an effect, it also didn't slow him down. In an act that completely surprised Gaige, Lee leapt at them from ten meters with his ax raised to strike at her. Before he could hit her though, Kai rushed In front of her with his left light blade active and parried Lee's attack. This caused Lee to stagger as he landed, but he quickly recovered to block a left slash from Kai. Using his strength, Lee forced Kai back causing him to fall backward.

"GAIGE! A little help here!" Kai yelled at her as Lee tried to chop him again, only for Kai to parry the ax with his right light blade.

Gaige snapped out of her stupor and brought her SMG up and fired. With her only being about four meters from them, accuracy meant little, as more than half of the rounds hit him. This time the shock effect started to affect Lee as he started jerking around on the spot. Kai kicked him in the stomach, causing Lee to stagger back. A few seconds later and the shock effect wore off, and Lee looked around like an animal seeking its prey, only to see both Gaige with her SMG and Kai with his Torgue shotgun out and aimed at him.

"Any last words, animal?" Kai asked, coldly.

Lee looked at them for a second and then threw his head back and yelled. "WAAARGH! WAAGH WAAGH! WAAAAARGH!"

Kai and Gaige glanced at one another, then decided to finish it. They were both about to fire when suddenly...

WRRRAAAAAAAH!*

. . . "What the hell was that?" Gaige asked.

As if on cue, a nearby wall of ice was smashed open, and a massive Bullymong… or Bonerfart, stood there at more than four meters tall. It had several bones made into a crud armor that covered its arms and head. It had scars all over it, which suggested that it had seen more than its fair share of fighting, and it was staring straight at the Vault Hunters.

"Oh boy... a Super Badass." Kai said sarcastically.

"Well, at least there's only one." Gaige said.

Just then a second Super Badass Bonerfart of similar size and armor jumped out from the opening and roared. Kai just slowly looked over to Gaige with an irritated look.

"Oh come on! You can't blame me for that!" She said as he leered at her for several more seconds.

The Bonerfarts stared them both down as they held their ground. "What's the plan here," Gaige asked.

"Well in a situation like this there really only one option… TACTICAL WITHDRAWAL!" he yelled as he grabbed Gaige by her left hand and started running in the opposite direction. The Badass Bonerfarts roared and chased after them.

On a nearby cliff, Zer0 and Salvador were watching the two young Vault Hunters.

"Shouldn't we… You know, help them?" Sal asked.

"No."

"Why not? Looks like they could use the help."

Zer0 was laying down near a ledge with his sniper out so he could observe them "Red needs the practice / Need to see what Kai can do / Just enjoy the show."

"Aww, but I want to fight the badasses." Salvador griped.

Back with the other two, Gaige looked back to see the two beasts rapidly catching up on them. "Kai they're gaining on us! We can't run forever!"

"I know Gaige!" He yelled as he noticed several stinging cactuses up ahead. At the same time, he heard Hati's recharge indicator. "Which is why now we attack!" He slid to a halt, turned around while pulling out Hati's photon projector, and threw it with all his might. The projector sphere flew straight and true as it pegged the lead Bonerfart in the left eye, causing the beast to fall forward and slide some. Its partner stopped and looked at the other one as it roared in pain. As they were distracted, Hati materialized behind them and jumped on the distracted Bonerfart's back and started digging in with his claws and teeth as the creature started thrashing about. As this happened, Gaige had stopped and watched the fight unfold in front of her, until Kai suddenly yelled. "GAIGE! Stop gawking and start shooting!"

Gaige snapped her attention to Kai who had pulled out a rare Dahl assault rifle with a slag barrel and started firing at the Bonerfart he hit in the eye. Gaige then realized what needed to be done and raised her left arm to summon DeathTrap. "Time to cause some trouble buddy!" Gaige yelled as DT Digistructed next to her.

Deathtrap immediately flew towards the Bonerfart Hati was engaging while Gaige ran over to assist Kai. Gaige pulled out a grenade and prepared to toss it at the creature, "Nade out!"

Kai looked and saw it was a Cryo grenade in her hand. "Gaige no!" but Gaige already threw the grenade which soon landed at the stunned beast's feet. Two seconds later there was an explosion of ice and mist that covered the creature.

"What are you so worried about, I got it." Gaige said.

"Gaige! Cryo doesn't affect Boner- ah fuck it! It doesn't affect Bullymong's!" He yelled as he looked around, trying to figure out where it was. They both heard a roar and the Bullymong came charging out of the cloud with sheets of ice stuck to its fur. It had two of its arms held in front of it in a protective manner as the massive creature charged at Kai.

"SHIIIIIT!" Kai screamed, as the Bullymong crashed into him and sent him flying back into a snowbank.

"KAI!" Gaige yelled.

"I'm okay." a muffled reply said from the snow.

Gaige turned back to the Bullymong. "UrrAAAAAAAGH! SUCK ON AMPS YOU BASTARD!" Gaige yelled as she started firing with her SMG.

The Badass Mong roared as the blue bullets pelleted him. It jammed one of its arms into the ground and pulled out a chunk of ice and lobbed it at Gaige. The shard of ice went wide, however, and overshot her as the creature's depth perception was shot.

This continued for twenty seconds till the Bullymong started rapidly lobbing ice shards. As Gaige dodged one, another finally nailed her in the shoulder causing her shield to flare. While it wasn't depleted it was now only at twenty percent.

"Crap!" Gaige yelled as another projectile hit next to her. She began to run for any cover when she saw Kai setting something next to what looked like a pair of fucked up cacti.

"Gaige! Draw it between the cacti, and don't touch them!" Kai yelled at her. Before moving away from the strange plants.

Not having any time to ask, Gaige slide to a halt and started dashing for the cacti. The Badass Bullymong tried to halt and turn as well, but its larger mass caused it to stumble and lose ground. Gaige made it about halfway before the Badass Bullymong got back up and chased after her and quickly closed the distance. When Gaige ran between the cacti with the Bullymong only two meters behind her, the badass Mong slammed into to the two cacti and suddenly roared in pain as both of the stinging plants discharged into it.

Gaige, who had turned to watch, noticed Kai about thirty meters away, as he quickly unwrapped a rifle he had on his back. At that moment, the cacti both ran out of juice and the Bullymong was looking at Gaige.

"Gaige, get down!"

Gaige dropped to the ground as Kai fired off two quick shots, both shots hit one of several Torgue shotgun magazines placed at the base of one of the cacti. This resulted in the few magazines all detonating in a rapid chain reaction, which caused the left cacti to fall over on top of the enraged creature, pinning it.

Gaige slowly got up and looked at the Bullymong, it looked as though the creature had been killed. Kai approached the creature with his Clementine out and without a word, he stopped a few meters in front of it, aimed his rifle at its head, and...

BANG BANG*

Two new bullet holes could be seen in the skull armor that the Mong wore.

"Okay, now that that's over where is the other-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the Bullymong he just shot burst up from beneath the pile of crushed cactus and snow and knocked Kai back with a backhanded swipe. Kai rolled next to Gaige who helped him up.

"How is that possible! You double tapped it in the head at point blank!" Gaige said as she started firing with her SMG.

"That helmet must be made from Rakk Hive bones! It as tough as a slab of concrete!" Kai yelled as he started firing his rifle.

"Concrete?" Gaige mumbled as she looked at her robotic arm then to the Bullymong. "Kai cover me!" She yelled as she bolted towards the Mong.

"What the? GAIGE!" He yelled as she rushed in. "Argh DAMMIT!" He then started firing as fast as he could to distract the giant creature.

Gaige closed the distance and was looking for a way to get above the creature when the Bullymong suddenly raised its two upper arms over its head, then brought them down and slammed the ground.

"OH SHIT" Gaige yelled in surprise. The hit sent out a shockwave that knocked Gaige fifteen meters into the air. At the Apex of her flight, Gaige looked around quickly only to notice that she was directly above the Bullymong. 'Perfect', she thought.

Using her body mass she managed to flip herself over so she was now aimed head first at the one-eyed Mong. As she started to fall, she quickly cocked her left arm back. "Falcon PUNCH!" she yelled as she shot her fist forward and smashed it into the creature's head. The force of the impact caused the bone Armor to fracture and break. The Super Badass Bullymong fell over as Gaige jumped off before it hit the ground.

Kai stared at the girl in disbelief as Gaige looked back at the Bullymong and then to him.

". . . I AM AMAZING!" she yelled before she started to go into a sort of victory dance. Kai continued to watch until he noticed something.

"I'm a Badass, I'm a Badass, ooh ooh. Come on Kai you're not gonna, WHAT THE!-"

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG PING!*

The snow tundra was silent for the next few seconds as the sound of the gunshots reverberated all around.

Gaige slowly opened her eyes after shutting them during the initial shot. She quickly patted herself to check and found she wasn't hit or injured. She looked to Kai who was calmly reloading his Clementine.

". . . What. The . FUCK WAS THAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME KAI. WHY THE-"

THUD*

"...Huh?"

Gaige looked to the source of the sound and nearly had a heart attack as she saw one of Bullymong arms barely half a meter from her. She looked behind her and found the Bullymong head had eight new holes at different locations. Gaige also noticed that it was still breathing. Kai walked over and brought his rifle up to its head.

Bang Bang* . . . *Bang*

The Mong finally stop breathing as Kai turned to Gaige. "You okay?"

"Ugh, yeah. . . Um sorry for yelling at you." She said with her head hung slightly.

"It's fine, at least it's finally dead."

It was silent for a few seconds.

". . . What happened to the other one?" Gaige asked causing Kai's eyes to widen.

Before anything else could be said there was a loud thud behind them. They both immediately spun around with their weapons at the ready.

"What?" Kai said.

"The fuck?" Gaige finished.

They found themselves looking at the severed head of the other Bullymong with a blood-soaked Hati sitting on top as he happily wagged his tail. DT who was also soaked in the beast's orange blood was floating next to him. Hati gave a happy bark to the Vault Hunters.

"Damn… Good job Hati." Kai said.

"Yeah, you to DT." Gaige said.

DT nodded before dematerializing into blue pixelated particles, Hati gave several quick barks before also dissipating.

"Well, that was fun… By the way, um, thanks for… you know… saving me." Gaige said.

"Not a problem Gaige, just watch out for now on. This is one of the most dangerous planets in the known Galaxy after all."

Just then their ECHO's came on. " _Bravo! Bravo Vault Hunters! You managed to slay two Super Badass Bullymong."_ Hammerlock said with bravado.

"What, you're not calling them Bonerfarts anymore, Hammer?" Kai asked.

" _My publisher says I can't name them Bonerfarts. So I guess we're sticking with Bullymong, It really isn't that bad of a name. Besides I have plenty of data from the video your ECHO'S and your friends ECHO'S recorded."_

"Well, that's good at… Wait, what do you mean our friends?" Gaige asked. She felt Kai tapping her on the shoulder.

"Ugh, Gaige." he pointed.

Gaige looked at where Kai was pointing. On a clifftop about a two hundred meters away, she could see Zer0 and Salvador. "Hola!" They both heard Salvador yell from the cliff as he waved.

"How long have they been there?" Gaige asked.

" _I believe they have been watching the whole time."_ Hammer replied.

Gaige just stared at the two distant Vault Hunters with a blank expression until she held out her hand to Kai. "I need a gun with some range." Gaige said causing Kai to grin.

Back on the cliff, the two other Vault Hunters were still watching.

"You think they'll be mad at us for not helping?" Sal asked Zer0.

There was a sudden whizzing sound as something passed near them.

"Was that-"

The sound occurred again, only this time it went through Zer0, seconds later the hologram failed and disappeared leaving Salvador alone on the cliff.

"Shit!"

Salvador started to run as sniper rounds began to fill the air around him. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY LITTLE SENORITA! OW! MY ASS!"

X-X-X

It had been several hours and the sun was slowly setting as the end of both the normal day and the longer Pandoran day in Sanctuary, yet Moxxi's bar was packed as the funeral/wake for Reiss was well underway. There were dozens of Raiders and Vault Hunters that Gaige and the others met, such as Bill Runner the Truxican Ranger, Master Sergeant, and many more.

Gaige just finished talking with another Vault Hunter when she noticed that Kai wasn't around. So she decided to go looking for him. As Gaige walked through the crowd she spotted the others. Zer0 was talking with a male Vault Hunter who looked like a Samurai. Salvador was trading stories with several Raiders. Maya was chatting with a man who looked like an archeologist. Axton was talking about weapons with the Master Sergeant, a tall man in dark green battle armor, while Krieg was having a knife throwing competition with several people, and was doing pretty good by the looks of it.

Moxxi was still standing in front of the bar talking with several people, wearing a black dress that was a 'little' bit more modest than her usual attire. Only a little though, as it still showed off her assets. In her arms was a bronze urn with Reiss' name carved into it. Apparently while visiting Kai's apartment to see Reiss's room she found his will, which stated that he wanted to be cremated and then have his ashes hidden in Moxxi's Bar so that he could always be close to the woman he had a crush on. However, Moxxi rejected this and said he would instead have a shelf all to himself on the back wall behind the bar so that he'd always be able to watch her 'pretty little ass' as she had put it.

Gaige looked past Moxxi and saw Kai sitting at the bar. So she walked over and took a set next to him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yes, and no. It's still hard to really accept that he's gone, but at the same time, I at least get to give the man a proper funeral. A 'lot' of people from my planet will never get that chance, hell my mentor, the one I came here with, all I could do for him was dig a small grave with a tombstone made from a piece of our ship's hull." he said before looking over to Moxxi who was talking to one of the older Raiders.

Moxxi soon started to weep again making her makeup run even more, the raider gave her a hug.

"Think she'll be okay?" Kai asked.

"Not sure, I've have never experienced any kind of loss like this." Gaige replied.

"Not even your grandparents or anything?"

"All died before I was born." Gaige said, and Kai just nodded in response and went back to looking at Moxxi.

"So why the quick turnaround for the funeral?" Gaige inquired.

"Well, it's partially because we're always dealing with Jack or some Bandit clan. We have to be quick about this sort of stuff, most of the time we just have a toast, a few words and add a photo to the wall of the fallen comrades that Moxxi set up a few years ago. Of course, this is a pretty big turnout for one man. Hell, we even got a dozen Vault Hunters who usually only show up here maybe once every two or three months." Kai said as he motioned to all the different people around the bar.

As they both continued to watch everyone Gaige noticed that the waiters were going around with trays of filled shot glasses. As they passed everyone was taking one.

"What's going on?" Gaige asked looking at the trays.

Kai looked over to waitresses and saw what they were doing. "Oh that, it's an old tradition that my people did for fallen comrades back on Polaris, it calls for everyone in attendance to take a shot of Vladof Platinum Star Vodka. Reiss said he wouldn't mind such a send-off once so I asked Moxxi and the girls to have this prepared. Come on, I need to make a speech." He said before moving towards the bar. As he did he passed Trixie and grabbed two Vodka shots from her and gave one to Gaige.

He went behind the bar and pulled out a stool that was kept behind the bar. Using it as a step he was able to stand up over nearly everyone. "Attention, can I have your attention everyone," Kai said. It took several seconds until the bar was quiet.

"Thank you… Comrades, friends… loved ones. Today we stand here together to honor not only a fellow soldier, not only a friend, but a fallen member of our family, Reiss." He said proudly. "He was more than just another Raider; to some, he was a great comrade that we would gladly stand with and fight alongside with. To some, he was a friend who would brighten our day, to others, he was a brother, separated only by blood. And for a few," he said as he turned to Moxxi, "he was the single most important person in their lives. The one that filled the void we all have. So to all of us who knew the man, and have been touched by his existence, let our family make a toast to his memory and always remember him." he said, raising his voice.

"TO REISS!" Kai cheered.

"TO REISS!" everyone else including Gaige cheered in return.

"AND MAY WHATEVER DEITY HE BELIEVES IN SEE HIM SAFELY TO THE OTHERSIDE!"

With that everyone drank there shot. Gaige took hers and as soon has it went down she felt as if her throat was on fire. As Soon as Kai finished his shot he slammed the glass on to the bar top. Dozens of other people followed suit, slamming their glasses on whatever surface they could find.

"Right, now that that's over I'd like to say thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of the evening. Now if you all will excuse me, I'll be taking my leave for the evening."

"What! Why would you be leaving so soon?! The wake is still going." Gaige asked. This caused several people to laugh. Kai just sighed and looked over at Moxxi.

"Moxxi, you know the drill. Also, have a good evening, and sorry I can't stay." Kai said to Moxxi.

She nodded in response. "Right, well then, I'll see you all later."

He looked forward and seemed to suddenly freeze on the spot.

"Uhh, Kai? Are you okay?" Gaige asked.

He didn't move a millimeter or even blink for a few seconds. Then he started to sway a little until he finally tilted just a little too far and collapsed behind the bar.

"KAI!" Gaige screamed as she rushed behind the bar. Nearly everyone else was just laughing at this point, while Gaige shakes him. "Kai! Kai! Dammit, Kai wake up!"

"What's the matter with him?" Axton asked as he leaned over the bar to look.

"Oh, nothing. This is just what happens when he gets drunk." Moxxi said.

"Wait, how many did he have?" Gaige asked.

"Just the one." Moxxi said.

Gaige turned and looked at Moxxi in confusion, "Just the one?" She asked in disbelief, to which Moxxi just nodded.

"The poor boy can't even handle a single light beer, and that shot will knock him out for at least ten hours."

"You mean that this "guy", can't drink worth shit without passing out! That's hilarious!" Salvador yelled throwing his arms out. His left arm hit a Raider, who in turn was knocked into another armored Raider who spilled his beer on two Vault Hunters.

"What the hell! This was a new jacket you bastard!" The Vault Hunter tried to punch the armored Raider but he was able to dodge, the punch instead hit Krieg in the back. Krieg turned to the man. "Yeeeessss, AGAIN!" Krieg yelled as he punched the man in the face.

' _Don't kill them, this is just for fun. For fun…'_ his inner voice said with a sigh. With that Krieg threw himself at one of the other patrons as a brawl quickly engulfed the bar.

"What the hell is going on?!" Gaige yelled as she watched the calamity.

"It simple niñita, this is what a Friday night on Pandora is supposed to look like!" He said as he jumped up onto the bar top and turned to the fight. "THIS IS WHY I LOVE FRIDAYS!" He yelled before he jumped forward and cannonballed into the fray.

Gaige decided to stay down as Moxxi and her waitresses quickly joined her. "Well, At least nobody is shooting." Susan said.

"Is this normal!?" Gaige asked.

"Fights like this occur at least once every month or two." Trixie said as a beer bottle flew over them and hit the back wall.

During all of this Kai wasn't even stirring as he laid there on the ground out cold.

"So what now?" Gaige asked. Moxxi and the girls looked at one another and nodded. Trixie opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Old Jakobs number five whiskey, while Susan handed out shot glasses to each of them.

"Really? We're going to drink."

"Nothing else to do sugar." Moxxi said as Trixie poured some whiskey into her glass, then poured Gaige one.

"A toast girls, to old friends lost, and new friends gained." she said as she and the others looked to Gaige.

Gaige looked at the glass and back, after a moment of silence (between the girls) she finally gave a shrug. "Why not." she said before gulping down the glass.

"Atta girl," Moxxi said before refilling hers and Gaige's glass. "To Gaige, welcome to Sanctuary!"

"Welcome to Sanctuary!" They all cheered as they clinked their glasses together and drank as the fighting continued all around them.

X-X-X

**Bonus 1: Pandoran Anatomy**

Zer0 and Salvador.

Salvador and Zer0 entered the clinic and noticed Zed in the corner with a Hyperion engineer strapped to a surgical table.

"I'M STARVING! I WANT TO EAT YOUR BABIES!" the engineer yelled as Zed turned to the man with a large syringe in hand.

"Son, this might sting a bit." Zed said before plunging the syringe into the engineer's chest as he screamed out in pain.

Salvador leaned over to Zer0 and whispered. "If I ever need surgery, just kill me." Zero nodded in response.

It was then that Zed noticed them. "Oh hello again, didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"My gut is still giving me trouble, I just need a pick me up for my stomach doc." Sal said with an arm across his abdomen.

"I see, well drinking all those beers right after getting your stomach pumped will do that to you."

"Ugh, how do you know-"

"Your breath has enough alcohol to get a skag drunk from five meters away." Zed said blatantly.

"Okay so I may have had a little to drink." Salvador said with a shrug.

"Three pints of Raak Ale / A bottle of year old Scotch / Two shots of Moonshine." Zero summed up.

"As I said, only a little." Sal said with a grin.

Zed just sighed and shook his head. "He's just like Mordecai," he muttered to himself. "Anyways, so you want something for your stomach, right? Well, let's see here."

Zed started rummaging through a cabinet till he pulled out a small bottle. He turned and tossed it to Salvador. "There you go, antacid. Should do the trick just take-," but before Zed could finish, Salvador downed the whole bottle. ". . . A sip. Right... Well, that will be a hundred bucks."

"A hundred bucks!? What a rip-off!"

"Well, you did drink the whole damn bottle. However, I would be willing to do a trade."

This peaked Salvador curiosity. "What kind of trade?"

Zed jabbed his thumb towards the engineer. "Roland's boys caught this Hyperion jerk bag tryin' to sneak into the city. Looks like they messed up his lungs. Dude needs surgery, bad. You're gonna be my operatin' assistant." Zed said as he turned away from them and organized the surgical tools.

"Bad idea." Zer0 said. Salvador whipped his head to Zer0 and gave him a 'what the fuck' look, only to receive a LOL hologram in return.

"Oh, it will be fine," Zed said as he turned back to them. They both snapped their attention back to Zed, pretending that nothing just happened. "Now, why don't you both just come over here and help me out."

After a nervous glance, they both slowly walked over to the table. Zed handed Salvador a scalpel and pointed to a spot. "Alright, make a small incision just below his sternum, but be careful, we don't want to nick the coronary artery."

Slowly, Salvador took the blade and made a small cut into the exposed skin. "Hey, that was easy." Sal said happily.

Just then the engineer started to groan in pain. "Ugh, did you give this guy anesthetic, doc?"

Before Zed could answer the guy started to scream in pain. "Oh shoot, I knew I forgot something. Just keep looking around inside and I'll get the meds," Zed said before walking to a back room.

"WAIT! Doc you can't leave me like this!" Salvador yelled.

"You'll be fine, now take a look around his insides and see if anything looks off." Zed yelled from the storage room.

Nervously Sal started to poke around the engineer's inners as Zer0 watched. "Be careful not to nick the liver," Zed yelled. This caused Sal to lose his concentration and… Stab the liver, which caused a stream of blood to start shooting out. This also made the engineer scream even louder causing both Salvador and Zer0 to panic. Salvador slowly tried to remove the scalpel.

"Also, watch out for the intestines they move around a lot." Zed yelled just as Salvador got the scalpel snagged on said organ. This caused the engineer to yell even louder. This got Zer0 to start panicking as he looked around frantically.

"Z! Hold him down!"Sal yelled as he was trying to dig through the intestines to find the scalpel. After twenty seconds of searching, Sal finally grabbed ahold of the small blade. "Got it!" He said. However, in his panic, he yanked it out only to cut something else.

"Uh-oh." Sal said as a vile brown and yellow liquid started seeping through the incision.

"And whatever you do, don't mess with the stomach, because that just a whole mess in itself." Zed said while still seemingly oblivious to the screams of agony.

The engineer was going insane on the table as he thrashed about. "THE POWER OF JACK COMPELS ME! MUST EAT! ANYONE! EVERYONE! NEED TO EAT! I NEED TO EAT!" the engineer screamed as he somehow started to break his bindings.

Upon seeing this Zer0 rushed at the engineer, drew his sword, and slashed him horizontally from his left shoulder to his right hip. The engineer stopped screaming and smiled creepily. "I taste the blood, it's so delicious!" He said before falling back onto the table dead. When he did, a glowing purple rock slipped out of his wound and fell onto the floor where it rolled over to Zed's feet. Zed looked at the scene for a few seconds before shrugging. "Eh, close enough." He then bent down and picked up the glowing rock. "An Eridium shard? For- HOW many times must I tell you idiots? You can't get slag powers by swallowin' this stuff!"

Zed took a second to breathe before addressing the Vault Hunters. "That shard ain't no good in the black market, it isn't refined yet. You could probably take it to that Tannis lady on the other side of the town," he said as he tossed the shard to Zer0 who snatched it out of the air. "She's really into that Eridium stuff when she ain't actin' all hoity-toity cause she's got a "real" doctorate. Oh, and lemme know if you're lookin' for work, I got stuff needs doin'. Now move along, I need to clean up."

Salvador nodded and he and Zer0 quickly exited the clinic, after the door closed Zed looked at the dead engineer. He moved closer and glanced over the insides, then gave a disappointed sigh. "Darn, one day, as God as my witness, I will find a useable spleen."

Salvador and Zer0 just stood outside of Zed's door silently for a moment. Both of them had splotches of blood in several places, and also wore an expression of confusion, or in Zer0 case a hologram question mark. Finally, the silence was broken by Salvador.

"Zer0… Amigo… I said it once, I'll say it again. If I ever need surgery, just kill me. I never want to be under that doc's knife."

". . . Hai, Salvador-san." Zer0 nodded as they slowly started walking to the meeting place.

X-X-X

**Bonus 2: Crazy Science… and a Chair.**

Axton, Maya, and Krieg approached the Raiders HQ where the guard spotted them approaching.

"I was wondering when you Vault Hunters would be stopping by."

"Well one of our guys got us all locked in at Zed's after eating something…" Axton paused as he tried to find the right word while Maya started to feel sick just from the memory.

"Say no more, here let me get the door."

After thanking the guard, the trio walked into a room that smelled of chemicals and burnt bacon.

"Holy cow, how can anyone breath in here." Maya asked.

"I feel _delightful_." Krieg said.

"Well, that's because you're wearing a gas mask," Axton retorted.

They then heard someone talking nearby and looked to see a dark brown-haired women walk from behind a pile of papers and some lab equipment with an ECHO in hand. They figured that this must be Tannis.

"As I've said, Roland, now that Jack has the Vault Key, it is only a matter of time until he opens the Vault. Also, I require a new ventilator - this lab smells of bacon. Bacon is for sycophants, and products of incest." she said.

Axton looked over to Maya and gave her the universal sign for crazy by twirling his finger by his ear. Tannis shut off the ECHO device and sighed only to then notice the three Vault Hunters.

"Oh, hello, Patricia Tannis, I'm guessing you three are the new Vault Hunters that just-" She stopped as her eyes then landed one Maya or more particularly, her siren tattoos. "Oh! You're a siren! Well, this is an exciting day! I've only ever met one other Siren in person before! What kind of powers do you have, pyrokinetic, gravity, mind control!"

"Um, I can create small subspace pockets that let me capture, hold and interact with anyone I choose. I call it Phaselock."

"That is astounding! Dimensional manipulation, how truly fascinating! My, and what interesting hair you have, is it really blue?"

"Um, yes it is. And thanks… I gue-" before she could finish Tannis cut her off.

"Can I take a sample?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't worry, I just need say. . . A large lock of it about this long." She gestured with her hands.

"I'm ugh… I'm going to get back to you on that."

"Oh, that's fine, there's plenty of time for that, plus I'm very busy at the moment. So what might you three need?"

"Um, well Kai told us we needed to bring our Hyperion weapons here to be checked." Axton said hesitantly.

"Right, right, let me show you where to put them, the only reason I'm being this nice is because if I don't show you then some buffoon will break something, and I'll have to fix it." Tannis said as she, Axton and Maya follow her up the stairs. Krieg however stayed and continued to look around.

After a few minutes, he was looking at a locked cage door with a Dahl weapons chest behind it, when he heard a noise that sounded like furniture being moved.

_**'what was that?'** _

"Don't understand. Anyone here for a tingler?" Krieg asked, looking around the room.

There appeared to be no one around. Krieg was just about to ignore it as nothing when he heard the noise again. This time he looked up to find a… a Chair… planted on the ceiling.

"Why hello Mr. Chair, what your name?" Krieg asked.

' _ **Why are you talking to a- wait, what, who?'**_

"Oh, it Clork, hello Clork. Do you want to be a murder buddies?"

_**'We're talking to a chair. And it's talking back...'** _

The chair suddenly rattled on the ceiling, while somehow defying the laws of physics by not falling down.

"YEAAAA,That's two new murder buddies this sun!" Krieg shouted.

_**'. . . It's official, we have gone off the deep end.'** _


	10. The Spirit of Fire

It had been several days since the Vault Hunters had arrived at Sanctuary and they've mostly gone on random missions, from simple deliveries all the way to hunting down assassins. Currently, Kai, Tannis and a few other high ranked members of the Raiders were in the command center chatting with Roland via ECHO.

"And that basically what been going on sir." Finished a Raider named Captain Miller.

" _I see. Kai, anything else to report yourself?_ " Roland said

"Nothing really other than the fact that the new Vault Hunters and I did clear out those Assassin's that you posted about on the bounty board yesterday."

" _Good, that's one less thing to worry about._ "

"Speaking of worry, when will you be back sir? You've been gone for over a week now," Miller said.

" _I'm on my way back now Captain, I'm just_ -" Suddenly the sound of gunshots filled the background. " _Ah, dammit. I'm being attacked, I'll see_ -" the transmission sputtered and then suddenly cut to static.

"Roland, ROLAND! . . . Shit! Someone get him back!" Captain Miller ordered.

A raider began frantically typing on a control screen. After several minutes he turned and shook his head. "It's no good sir, we lost the signal."

"Well, what now?" Kai asked.

"Roland left very specific instructions to use plan B if he disappeared," Miller said.

"Isn't plan B that cockamamie idea that Scooter came up with?" Tannis asked.

Kai and Miller looked at each other then back to Tannis. "Your point?" Miller said.

"Ugh, forget it. Do whatever you need to do, I'll just be in my lab focusing on real issues." Tannis said as she walked out of the room.

Miller turned back to Kai. "You better go see Scooter. I'll keep an ear out here in case Roland calls back."

"Got it sir." Kai said as he turned to head out.

"Oh and take the new guys with you. They should still be asleep, but they can help." Miller called after him.

"Yes, sir!" Kai said as he already had an idea how to wake them.

Gaige was currently was slumped over the workbench in her room having a… mostly dreamless slumber.

"Muuuh, fear my ultimate creation, mmmah Mega DeathTrap… Ha... ha... ha." Gaige mumbled. Everything was peaceful and quiet until the silence was suddenly broken by the sound of several shotgun blasts outside of the room.

"AH!" The young Mechromancer screamed as she bolted up, causing her to fall back onto the floor. She quickly scrambled back to her feet, pulled out her Rogue Smuggler and rushed out of her room into the hallway. She looked around and saw the others were also up. Salvador was in his normal clothes and had a Tediore SMG and a Vladof fire pistol in hand. But his hair looked frenzied and he was missing his left boot. Maya had a Dahl SMG in hand and was only in her combat bodysuit and was missing her cargo pants. Krieg was dressed and had his buzz axe out and ready. Axton had his new E-Tech pistol out and was only wearing his boxers which had Dahl weapon silhouettes colored in black, green and brown, to look like a camo print.

Everyone looked around alert and confused until they all heard someone laughing. As one, they all turned to see Kai at the end of the hallway with a Tediore shotgun in hand. "I have to say, I'm impressed with everyone's overall reaction time. Although some of you aren't dressed, sooo, I have to give you all a three point six out of five. *TWACK* OWW!" Kai yelled as Zer0 appeared behind Kai and smacked him on the top of his head with the flat side of his sword.

"Enjoyment from another person's misery / This is unbecoming of a true warrior / Don't interrupt my sleep." Zer0 said. He was already in his suit with his helmet on, which surprised no one. When not on a job, Gaige, Axton, and Salvador had tried several times to take a peek at Zer0 without his helmet. Of course, every attempt has been met with painful failure, from booby traps, bullets, or other sharp instruments. He once even rigged the door to the washroom with a Bandit lectrik grenade when showering, much to Salvador's and Axton's shock.

Axton yawned as he safetied his pistol. "Alright kid, so what's up with the boot camp wake up call?"

"Roland has gone missing." Kai stated causing everyone to suddenly be alert.

"Roland gone missing!? How?" Maya asked.

Kai quickly gave them all a quick rundown of the ECHO call and the current situation.

"So what's this 'Plan B'." Salvador finally asked.

"Get the city airborne." Everyone stared at Kai as they waited for the 'Gotcha' but it never came.

"Wait, you're serious? Do you know how stupid that sounds?" Axton asked, astounded at the absurdity of the idea.

"I have to agree with Axton Kai, that is probably the most stupid thing you've ever said," Gaige said.

"And yet it's true." He said as he put the shotgun away. "Believe me, I had the same reaction when Reiss first told me of this plan. Look I'll tell you about details on the way to Scooter's. Go ahead and get what you all need. And Gaige."

"Yeah?"

"You've got something stuck to your cheek," Kai said as he pointed to her left cheek

Gaige brought her hand up to her cheek and felt something stuck to her, she peeled it off and looked It, it was a lug nut. Her face lit up in embarrassment as she heard Maya let a giggle slip out. "I'm uh... I'm... just gonna go get ready." She said as she backed into her room and quickly shut her door. She then heard several of the others laughing outside.

"I can't believe that just happened," she muttered as she leaned against the door and slid to the floor.

" _Well it could have been worse._ " came a voice that made Gaige jump up and look around.

After realizing no one was with her she randomly asked out loud. "Angel? Is that you? Where have you been? Wait, how are you talking to me? I stuffed my ECHO under my mattress since it kept going off every minute with a new subscriber or a comment.

" _I'm connected to your audio implants._ "

"Wait my Whisper implants still work!?" She exclaimed as she reached for her ear. Several months before the 'accident' had happened Gaige had secretly gotten a new set of Maliwan X9 Whispers, a small set of ear implants that allowed her to listen to calls, music or any other ECHO hands-free and without anyone noticing… if you were careful. Gaige had spent eight months of her allowance to get herself a pair, against her parent's wishes. But it had only taken them about a week to figure out she had gotten a set. She was grounded for the next month, but luckily they were gracious enough to let her keep them. "I thought they were broken after the train wreck!"

" _No, your Whispers were just incompatible with your current ECHO unit. However, I was able to fix that issue with a few program updates._ "

"Oh cool! Thanks! Now, where have you been? We haven't heard from you since we reached Sanctuary."

" _Yes, sorry for not talking to you and the others. I've been trying to figure out the best course of action in regards to the finding the Vault. Now what's going on, I only patched myself in near the end of your conversation to see your._ "

"Please don't remind me. Anyways, Roland got attacked and is now missing, so we're all going to help Kai and this Scooter guy with some plan B which supposedly involves making the city fly.

" _Crap. I mean, uhm, darn. If Roland has been captured then the Crimson Raiders won't stand a chance. You and the others need to find him, he's crucial to the fight against Handsome Jack._ "

"Well, first we have to get this city to… fly. Seriously how does that even work!?" She asked as stated to charge her clothes.

"I _'m sure your boyfriend will tell you and the others_." Angel said which caused Gaige to freeze as she was changing her shirt.

"Wh-what did you say?"

" _I said your boyfriend will tell you._ "

"He not my boyfriend! Why does everyone keep saying that!" Gaige said as her face reddened.

" _Well, he is kinda cute. It not that hard to imagine you two together. Oh, you could even get one of those shipping names, like Kage, no… Kaige! That's perfect!_ "

"You are really into this, aren't you?"

" _When you're an AI who can access almost everything on the ECHONET and has watched all the good stuff, you tend to run out of good entertainment options very quickly_." Angel replied dryly.

"Right…" Gaige said awkwardly, her blush still coloring her cheeks. "Well, I better get going."

" _I'll contact you if I have any useful information_."

"Right. Thanks, Angel."

**X-X-X**

After Gaige finished getting ready she came down to find that everyone but Kai outside the HQ and ready. Gaige decided to try out a new setting on DT and so summoned him.

"Why did you summon DeathTrap?" Maya asked.

"I'm testing out a new low power mode. It cuts off most of his weapon systems, but it should let him be active for about twenty minutes or so. I just want to test and see how long exactly. Got the idea from Hati's low power mode." Gaige said as she hopped onto DeathTrap's outstretched right claw. DT then lifted her up so that she could take a seat on his right shoulder.

"Bow before me! I am your new queen!" Gaige said in a mock royal voice causing everyone to laugh.

"Alright your majesty, enough ordering around the peasants, we got work to do," Kai said as he walked out of the HQ with a small box in hand. He pulled out something from the box and tossed it to Gaige. She caught it and looked to find a ration bar.

"This will have to do for breakfast until we're all done," Kai said as he handed out one to everyone.

Gaige ripped the wrapper open and took a test bite from her bar.

"Ick!" Gaige spat, very unhappy with the bar. "This has no flavor, how can anyone eat this?!"

"It not that bad, at least they don't taste like wax, like the Dahl ration bars. Hey Kai, I'll take another." Kai tossed one to Axton, who quickly pocketed it in his pack. "You each should keep an extra one or two on you, believe me, these things are your friend on long-ass missions or I firefights."

"They've saved me on several botched recon missions." Kai said as he tossed an extra one to everyone.

Gaige pocketed the extra bar and looked back to Kai. "So where are we going anyways?"

"Scooter garage, it down by the main gate. Come on." Kai said as they started making their way through town.

As they all walked, Axton went ahead and asked, "So what the story on this crazy plan you claim to be real?"

"Well you see, Sanctuary is actually built on an old Dahl mining ship. Their biggest one in fact. Now, while the ship is nowhere close to being space capable any longer after years of abandonment and neglect. However, the main anti-gravity drive has been fixed and is in good repair. So theoretically the ship should be able to lift the city off the ground and keep it airborne for… Well, years."

"And how is making the city fly going to help?" Sal asked.

"Because it's better to be a moving target than a stationary target," Kai replied as they came to the front of the garage. "Now just a word of warning, Scooter can be a little… Weird... So try not to shoot him. Okay?" Kai said as he grabbed the door and lift it up.

Immediately the Vault Hunters were met with the smell of oil, grease, alcohol, and several other indistinguishable, but disturbing scents. The garage was fairly large and had a second level area along the back. The ground floor had several wrecked vehicles in different states of repair laying around, and all kinds of tires and car parts heaped up in piles. In the middle of the room, there was a man with his head down sitting on a chair with his legs propped up on a large tractor tire on its side. The man in question was apparently awoken by the door opening and groggily looked up. He looked to be only in his mid to late twenties and had a fairly squarish face. He also wore a green trucker's hat that had the silhouette of a posed large bodied women on its front. He was wearing a dirty old green shirt with a dirty yellow work vest, and tan work pants. He looked around until his eyes landed on DT.

"Oh, crap, is you Hyperion? I heard all of you are robots and you eat metal out of the garbage and stuff. Knew you wired death machines would be coming for me once Roland went missing. If you're here to kill me you should probably know," He then suddenly jumped up onto the tire, pulled out a wrench, and started to threateningly wave his arms about as he yelled, "You'll never take me alive, you robotic sumbitch!"

Everyone just stared at the man as he stood on the tire in what could only be described as a poor attempt at an action pose.

"Dammit Scooter, quit screwing around, we got work to do!" Kai yelled as he walked in.

"Kai? Oh man, if you're here then these guys can't be Hyperion. . . Wait a minute! Well, hang me upside down from a telephone pole, cover me in honey, and leave me to a slow death at the hands of hungry spiderants, you all ain't Hyperion robots, you're Vault Hunters! Just one Vault Hunter is like a unicorn! But with all of you, it like a herd of unicorns all riding go-karts on a rainbow road through space!" Scooter said with a sweeping gesture.

"Scooter, focus." Kai snapped his fingers several times to get his attention back. "Roland is currently presumed missing, remember."

"Oh yeah. Right. I heard a few them Crimson Raider dudes talkin' about that. Does this mean we're going ta initiate Plan B, or, as I like to call it, Plan Turn-this-city-into-a-floatin'-ass-fortress-of-airborne-awesomeness. B."

"Yes. Yes, it does Scooter." Kai said with a nod.

"Aww sweeeeet! I been dying to do this! But first, we got a few things that need to be done. I got some fuel cells around here. You'll need those. Once you find them head to the center a' town and plug those fuel cells into the ignition primers," Scooter said.

"You said a few things. What else is there?" Kai asked.

"Oh, and you'll need this here eridium." he said as he pulled out several glowing purple bars.

"And why would we need eridium for this?" Kai asked as he grabbed the Eridium and pocketed it.

"Well, your gon' need a third fuel cell, which is why I gave you that there rid-rock, you can buy the last cell from Earl's black market."

"Aww skaglicks." Kai mumbled as Scooter continued. "If there something you need, then you can probably find it at Earl's. Careful though, Earl's crazy, he ate one of my cars once." He said to the others.

"Wait, he ate a car?" Salvador asked.

"Yea... The whole car... Just with, like, a fork... It was awesome.

Nobody could respond to that for a moment till Axton finally spoke up. "Whatever, we can all contemplate how a person could have eaten a car later, right now we got work to do. Kai, do you know where this Earl person is?"

Kai gave a small sigh. "Of course I do, he the same guy I go to for my SDU's. I can get it from him since I know how to deal with him. Also, he tends to be a bit of an asshole."

"I'll go with him." Gaige said.

"Of course, you would." Axton muttered to himself as he rolled his eyes. "The rest of us will find the other fuel cells and meet you in the town center. Just remember kid, no funny business." He pointed to Kai.

"Are you insinuating that I have a gutter for a brain Ax? Besides she would be better off hanging with me than being around Scooter." He said as he jabbed his thumb towards the man.

"Hey, you're a Siren right, think maybe I could see _all_ your tattoos?" Scooter said with a cocky grin.

Maya just groaned and then walked away, while mumbling something about control and not shooting. Axton looked back to Kai. "Fine! You made your point."

"Thank you. . . And try to make sure she doesn't kill Scooter." Kai said, pointing to Maya. "He still has his uses."

Kai and Gaige soon left the garage and were either walking or floating in Gaige's and DT case to the other side of Sanctuary. "So what the story on this Earl guy?" Gaige said

"Crazy Earl? Well, he's crazy if you haven't caught on. He also a recluse with a heart the size of a walnut, maybe even smaller. And I don't think anyone has ever seen him outside before."

They arrived at an armored door near with a worn-out doormat outside that read 'God bless this house and my' and then had a silhouette of an old twentieth-century assault rifle beneath that.

"Hmm, cozy," Gaige said dryly.

"The funny thing is, that the most inviting thing about this place." Kai said before he knocked on the door. The sound of someone shifting through junk could be heard with the occasional muffled swear. Then the slide on the door (I'm not sure what you call that part) opened and Gaige could only see the man's eyes from her angle.

"Whatchu want? Oh, it's you." The man said with disdain. "I don't have your order yet so get out of here!"

"I'm not here about that Earl, Scooter sent us, he said you got a fuel cell.

"Just buy somethin' and I'll toss in that crap fuel cell. Just touchin' it made two o' my fingers rot off. And I only accept Eridium, cash is for clowns!"

Kai sighed and then looked up to Gaige, who still sat on DT's shoulder. "I don't need anything here right now so how about we upgrade your ECHO's storage deck? Anything you want, Ammo for a particular weapon, more grenades, backpack space?"

Gaige thought about it for a moment. "I think I'll take an SMG upgrade."

Kai nodded and then inserted the Eridium into a small hatch by the door which snapped shut. A few seconds later it opened again to reveal a new SDU and a very old fuel cell that looked as if it was leaking, considering the amount of corrosion on it. Kai handed the SDU to Gaige but was more than hesitant about the fuel cell.

"Hey Earl, you wouldn't happen to have some heavy gloves… Would you?" Kai asked cautiously.

"Sorry, you're on your own, chumps!" Earl said with a laugh before he slammed the slide on the door shut, followed by the sound of a heavy mechanical lock.

"Dammit, Earl!" Kai yelled as he kicked the door. Sighing, he looked back to the old fuel cell with a look of displeasure. "Well fuck."

"I can hold it." Gaige said.

"Gaige, I'm not going to let you hold an acidic, possibly radioactive fuel cell without some kind of protection."

"Uh helloooo."

Kai turned to Gaige and saw her waving her hand. Her 'robotic' hand. ". . . Oh. . . That could work."

Gaige was about to hop off of DT shoulder's when he let out several whirls and whistles. "Seriously?! It has even been twenty min-" Gaige was cut off when DT suddenly de-materialized into a blue pixelated cloud causing Gaige to fall down on to her butt. "Oww. . ." Gaige groaned as she rubbed the small of her back. "Looks like I still got work to do on DT." Laughing, Kai offered the girl a hand.

"Man, this sucks. How do you get Hati to stay active for so long? A robot should be easier than a hard light construct." Gaige complained as Kai pulled her up.

"My mom was the one to do that little bit of rigging actually. I'll show you what she did later, although, I don't know if that trick will work on DT. But that can wait, go grab the fuel cell, we need to get this to Scooter." With that Gaige went and grabbed the fuel cell with her robot arm. "Awesome. Hey Scooter, we got the fuel cell." Kai said into his ECHO.

" _Got the last cell? Kickass. Just jam it in ta fuel injector in the center of town. . . Say, Maya, you look smart, why don't ya stay here and 'supervise'... *BANG! BANG!* AH! IM SORRY! *BANG* OW! WHAT THE HEL- *BANG*_." With that, the ECHO cut off.

"Yeah, I figured that would happen," Kai said.

"Why didn't you warn Scooter instead then?"

Kai looked at Gaige and then grinned. "Because it's funny to watch Scooter getting his ass handed to him."

They reached the town center a few minutes later and found the others inserting their fuel cells into the other two injectors. Kai and Gaige went over to the remaining injector: a small hatch on the ground that sat in front of the Sanctuary monument.

Kai popped the hatch and Gaige inserted the fuel cell. As soon as she placed it in the hatch automatically closed and a small pylon raised up. "So, do you think this will actually work?" Gaige asked.

"Who knows. But knowing Scooter, this will probably either work or blow up in all our faces."

"Wait, what?"

"Hey, Scooter! We're ready here," Kai said to his ECHO, ignoring Gaige's question.

" _Thanks for cyclin' all that stuff for me. Third-degree burns are best taken in shifts. Now, to see the fruits of your loins, this city's gonna FLY!_ "

The town slowly began to rumble as a low electrical hum began to build in the air and the letters on the center monument began to glow a deep blue. Then a massive jolt shook all of Sanctuary, and the whirling hum started to quickly fade.

" _…Or, not. Damn. Well, now we REALLY gotta find Roland._ " Scooter said.

"So what now?" Salvador asked.

Before anyone could respond Kai's ECHO beeped. "Kai here."

" _Kai, you and the Vault Hunters need to get back to the command center. We just got a message that you all may want to hear._ " Captain Miller ordered, his voice grim.

"Wonder what the message is about?" Axton said as he and Zer0 walked over.

"Maybe it's Roland." Salvador suggested

"If it was Roland, the Captain would have told us." Kai said with Axton nodding in agreement.

They all quickly arrived back at the HQ and made their way to the War Room where they found Captain Miller. "Kai, Vault Hunters, how did plan B go?

"Well as you can tell we're not flying, but Scooter didn't blow us all up, soooo, eh." He shrugged.

"I see. Well, we just received this message a few minutes ago." He said, pressing a button on the holo table.

The voice that came out of the speakers was deep and heavily distorted. " _This is the Firehawk. Come to Frost Burn Canyon or people will die._ "

The room was silent for several seconds until the speakers in the room came on again. " _The Firehawk? You mean the mass-murderin' bounty hunter?! Oh, crap! If the Firehawk's got him, Roland is in DEEP. You gotta get to Frostburn Canyon and rescue his ass!_ " Yelled Scooter.

"Agreed. Vault Hunters, the Raiders will secure Sanctuary, while you go help and rescue Roland. Any questions?" Miller said.

"Ugh yeah, I got one. Who this Firehawk?" Maya asked.

"Who the… Right, you guys haven't even been here very long." Miller scratched the back of his head. "The Firehawk is supposedly this sadistic inhuman monster who hunts Bandits and then tortures them to death."

"That doesn't sound so bad."Salvador said.

" _They say one time a random Vault Hunter winged the Firehawk with a bullet, just winged him! And he straight up ate the sumbitch alive. Like NOM NOM NOM!_ " Scooter said.

Salvador gulped nervously at this thought.

"Right. Anything else we should know?" Axton said.

"Well, Frostburn Canyon is home to a rather… particular bandit cult is known as the Children of the Firehawk." Kai said causing Axton to groan in displeasure.

"Don't tell me, they just love their fire weapons and are resistant as hell to them in return." Axton asked, predicting the theme of the bandits. Both Kai and Miller just stayed silent which was all the answer they needed, causing Axton, Maya, and even Salvador to groan. "Son of a bitch. Right, equip your fire immunity shields if you got them." Axton said.

"Is it really going to be that bad?" Gaige asked.

"A frozen canyon filled with fire weapon loving bandits, then we have to fight a psychotic bandit murderer…" Kai said.

"Sooo, it one of those Tuesday's then?" Salvador said.

"Oh yeah… I fucking hate Tuesdays." Kai groaned in affirmation.

X-X-X

An hour later, the Vault Hunters arrived at Frostburn Canyon.

"Welcome to Frost Burn Canyon, everybody. Stay on your guard because the Bandits here are both crazy and tend to set themselves and everyone around them on fire." Kai said.

"What bandits?" Gaige asked.

Sure enough, there wasn't a sound in the canyon except for the wind.

"Is it just me, or is it too quiet?" Axton asked.

As if on cue there was a massive explosion in the distance that shook the canyon, causing chunks of ice to fall off the canyon walls. Gunfire and more explosions could be heard in the distance, quickly followed by several screams of terror as a Burning Psycho who wore a skull-like mask ran by yelling, "They want to eat my uncooked flesh!"

He was quickly followed by three Psychos with Bloodshot tattoos. "You'll warm our cold bellies!" The lead one yelled as the chased after him.

". . . Now everything's it too loud… I preferred it when it was quiet." Axton said, as he predicted that there would be a lot more firefights in the near future.

"Bloodshots!? What are they doing here?" Kai exclaimed in surprise and anger.

Angel said something on Gaige's Whisper, which Gaige quickly elaborated. "Maybe they heard about Roland being captured and are attempting to kidnap him for their own."

Kai looked at Gaige in surprise. "That actually makes sense." Kai said as he thought about it.

"Well, whatever the case is we're going in." Axton said. "Now which way should we go?"

" _The Bloodshots probably left landmarks for their reinforcements_." Angel told Gaige. "Try looking around for one. Those should lead you to the Firehawk."

Gaige nodded and took a look around till her eyes landed on a wall that had a Bloodshot logo painted on it. "We could follow up those marks." Gaige said pointing out the paint marker. Kai was about to say something when everyone ECHO'S crackled to life.

" _Step off, Vault Hunters! This is between the Bloodshots and the Firehawk! Once my boys bring his ass back to me, he's gonna pay for every Bloodshot he killed! We're gonna string him up from his own freakin' intestines!"_ Said Flanksteak, the leader of the Bloodshot according to the ECHO's ID.

" _Well, That was… Needlessly graphic_." Angel said to Gaige.

"How did he know we were here?" Maya asked.

"Who knows? now come on we're wasting time." Axton said

About thirty minutes later, after fighting off Bloodshots, Children of the Firehawk members, and a lot of hungry Spiderants, they all reached a large open section of the canyon which was filled with all kinds of walkways, structures and lots of Bandits. There were Bloodshots and Firehawk worshippers all over the place duking it out in a full-on melee.

"That's a lot of Bandits." Stated Axton.

"There must be at least a hundred of them! I've never seen so many bandits in one place!" Kai said.

Gaige observes the whole scene until she noticed someone. "Who's that?" Gaige asked pointing out a particular bandit.

Everyone looked to see a large nomad with an old gas mask, brandishing what appeared to be an oversized Bandit spinigun with a belt-fed that was attached to a large metal backpack. He was laughing like a madman as he unloaded at the pyro Psycho's that charged him. "Suck on lead fire lovers! You ain't got shit!"

"Rad Max! What is he doing here!?" Kai said in shock.

"You've fought him before?" Axton asked.

"About a month after I got here. One of our scouting parties was ambushed by him and a dozen Bandits. He killed three in the scouting party and two more of the rescue team. I myself took a nice shot to my gut… I was held up at Zed's for almost a whole week." The last comment made Salvador wince.

Just then the fighting was disrupted as a loud booming voice roared out over the sounds of the battle. "WHAT DO YOU WANT KINDLING!?" All of the fighting stopped for several seconds till a burning psycho started chanting. "Matchbox! Matchbox! MATCHBOX! MATCHBOX!" Slowly all of the other members of the Firehawks started chatting as well.

"Uh, Kai? Sal? Do either of you know what going on?" Maya asked nervously.

"No idea, but I don't think it's going to be good." Sal said.

"And I've only heard about this in passing, supposedly, this guy is the right-hand man to the Firehawk or something," Kai said.

Just then a large Goliath landed in the middle of the canyon with an earth-shattering crash. The Goliath had on an orange welder's helmet with blue flames painted around the edges, wore a large silver fire suit that appeared to have been stitched together in several places. His hands were covered in what appeared to be metal boxing gloves with several holes in them. There were also several pipes running to them from what looked like two large upside-down acetylene gas tanks strapped to his back. The Goliath smashed its gloves together with a resounding "GONG" which produced several sparks that ignited a set of fireballs that encased his gloves. "MOTHER! Bless these fists with your fire, so that I may share your warmth!"

Max brought his gun to bear on the Goliath apparently named Matchbox and started firing at him. Matchbox just rushed in at Max with no regard to his safety or the bullets flying at him and threw a fire punch that slammed into Max's gut and sent him flying back a good ten meters. Max dropped to one knee as he clenched his abdomen, but Matchbox quickly followed up with several rapid one-two punches. After the fourth set of punches Rad Max was set on fire, he dropped his gun and stumbled back in panic as he attempted to put the flames out.

"This one is for Firehawk!" Matchbox yelled before he leaped into the air several meters and came down with his right fist pounding the ground causing a large blast of fire to explode out and engulf everything in a three-meter radius, including Rad Max. When the blast died down everyone found Matchbox standing in the middle of a blackened circle with his right foot resting on the chest charred remains of Rad Max.

"The nonbeliever is now one with the flame! WHO'S NEXT?!" Matchbox yelled casing the Firehawk Bandits to cheer.

The Vault Hunters just stared in shock at the crazed Goliath. "Okay, does anyone have any ideas so that we don't get viciously murdered by the fire boxing Goliath?" Gaige asked.

"We could scale the pipes over there and try sneaking around them." Maya suggested as he pointed to some large pipes.

"Hmm, that could work… Alright then. Zer0, start looking for a way up, Sal I want… Where Sal? Axton asked as everyone looked around.

"Uh, Axton." Gaige said, tapping on the Commando's shoulder and pointing down the hill. "I think I found him."

Everyone looked to where Gaige was staring only to see that Salvador had charged about twenty meters down the hill front of everyone with both his Dog shotgun and Ferocious Minigun held up in his hands. "HEY FEO! I'LL TAKE YOU ON!"

Matchbox turned to the new challenger and slams his fist together again. "VAULT HUNTERS! Burn them from the sacred home!" Matchbox yelled causing all the children of the Firehawk to look at them, as well as the remaining Bloodshot Bandits. Salvador just grinned from ear to ear before letting out a battle cry as he ran into the canyon with his guns blazing.

"Dammit, Sal!" Axton yelled as he pulled out Dahl assault rifle before chasing after him.

"Save some blood candy for me!" Krieg yelled as he followed suit.

Everyone else just stared for several more seconds till Kai let out a sigh.

"What's the matter?" Gaige asked.

"Oh, just lamenting the fact ever since you guys got here it's just been one crazy thing after another. Then again it could just be because it Tuesday." After a few seconds of silence minus the sound of fighting just ahead, Kai shrugged before he pulls out a purple grade Maliwan corrosive SMG. "Screw it. LERROOOY JJJENKIIIIIIN'S!" Kai yelled as he charged in.

Gaige, Maya looked to Zer0 only to find he had already disappeared, they looked at each other, and Maya finally shrugged. "What the hell, come on Gaige, we can't let the guys and your boyfriend have all the fun." Maya said as she ran in.

"WHAT! He is not my boyfriend!" Gaige shouted as she chased after Maya.

They both rushed over to the leftmost platform. The walkway in question had over two dozen Bandits from both the Bloodshots and Children of the Firehawk trading blows. Without even hesitating Gaige blasted the closest Psycho with two shots of her recently acquired green rarity double-barreled Jakobs Shotgun. Maya quickly followed up and shot up a Burning Psycho with her Corporate Commerce SMG, the electric rounds that impacted the Psycho starting to shock him for several seconds until he was basically de-atomized.

"Duck!" Gaige yelled, causing Maya to drop as Gaige blasted another Bloodshot psycho who was about to attack her. Maya stretched her arm in Gaige's direction as her tattoos glowed and a small sphere of energy formed in her palm. Gaige heard the familiar sound of a Phaselock and panicking Psycho behind her. Gaige whipped around and blasted a trapped Firehawk Psycho that had tried to rush her in the face. The Psycho's head exploded and the body immediately fell to the platform.

"Thanks." Gaige said as she began to quickly reload as they both ducked behind some cover.

"So... why did you call Kai my boyfriend, I mean, you're the second person to say that today." Gaige asked, blasting an uppity Psycho.

"Who was the other?" Maya asked as she chucked a grenade over the cover before loading her own gun.

"Angel, she patched into my ECHO and WHISPER units. She was even trying to come up with a couple name for us." Gaige said as she stood up and fired several times at the group of bandits before ducking back down.

"What, like Kaige?" Maya asked, sending a barrage of bullets downrange and was rewarded with several screams of pain.

" _That exactly what I suggested!_ " Angel said as her voice suddenly piped in on Maya ECHO.

"Oh hey, Angel. Good to hear from you. So you suggested Kaige as well?"

" _Yes, I did, I think it's cute_."

"Great, now I have to listen to this in stereo." Gaige mumbled as she swapped to the Rogue and popped two Bloodshot Psychos in there faces. "Do you two have to gossip right now?"

"Oh come on Gaige, we're just messing with you." Maya said before she Phaselocked a suicide Psycho. The grenade he had primed fell to the ground next to a Nomad and a marauder, and exploded a second later, launching both bandits off of the platform and off the cliff. "It's all in good fun, even though you two would make a cute couple."

" _She's right, you two would be adorable_."

"Come on, you're seriously doing this now." She said suddenly as she grabbed a Bandit who jumped over their cover. "In the middle of a FUCKING. FIRE. FIGHT!" She yelled as she punctuated the last three words with a robot arm-powered punch to the Bandit's face before tossing him off the side of the platform with the cliff.

"I think someone is trying to cover up the fact she has a crush~." Maya said in a sing-song tone as she pulled out a Vladof TMP and unloaded it into a flame Nomad trying to sneak up behind them.

"I do not have a crush, nor have I ever had one!" Gaige yelled as she unloaded her shotgun into a Bruiser and then swapped to her SMG to finish him off. Of course, Maya noticed something else during this.

"Wait, are you blushing? Oh my gosh, Angel she actually blushing! That's adorable." Maya gushed.

"Mayaaa!"

" _Girl, I'd hate to interrupt, but DUCK!_ " Angel yelled. Both women ducked as several rockets flew over them and nailed a group of Pyro Psychos instead. They looked to see a Nomad with a Bandit rocket launcher.

Maya activated her power and trapped the Nomad before he could fire again causing the Nomad to panic.

"What is this crap!?" The Nomad yelled in panic and confusion as he was lifted into the air. Gaige shot at him with her SMG but then the magazine ran out of ammo, so she drew her Rogue and finished him off with several quick bursts, as soon as the Nomad died the Phaselock broke and his body fell back onto the platform. "Alright, let save the talking for later." Maya said.

" _Agreed._ "

"I hardly call it talking." Gaige grumbled as they continued to move.

As they progressed forward across the platform Gaige heard someone yell behind her. She whipped around to see a pyro Psycho about to club her face in when a snap and splat filled the air as the Psycho head exploded in a blossom of blood. Gaige looked to the source of the shot to see Zer0 up on a high cliff holding his Fremington's Edge sniper rifle. Gaige was about to wave thanks when she noticed a Bloodshot Psycho sneaking up on Zer0.

"BEHIND YOU!" Gaige yelled as she pointed at the Psycho. Gaige saw Zer0 turn in time to see the Psycho's buzzaxe coming down at him only for the weapon to pass right through him causing the Psycho to stagger in confusion. A second later a blue-edged blade pierced through the Psycho's torso. The Psycho looked down at the blade and yelled "INCONCEIVABLE!"

Zer0 then pulled the sword out and quickly side kicked the Psycho in the back launching him off of the edge of the cliff. "My whole life was a joke!" the Psycho yells before impacting the ground.

Gaige saw the whole thing and was awestruck by the show of badassery. "I really need to ask Zer0 to teach me some moves."

"Gaige! Focus!" Yelled Maya as she Phaselocked a Marauder while shooting another charging Firehawk Psycho at point-blank in the chest.

"Oh, sorry!" Gaige said as she raised her left arm and deployed DT. "Alright buddy, let's get to work!" Gaige said as she and DT rushed back into the fight.

As Gaige and Maya fought up above, Kai was fighting below with Axton and Krieg on the ground. Currently, they were dealing with a large group of Bloodshot Bandits who had them pinned. "Can someone tell me why these bandits seem coordinated!?" Axton yelled as another grenade exploded nearby pelting them with snow and dirt.

"There must be a commander or someone leading." He was interrupted when his shield suddenly broke which was followed immediately by a loud *TWANG* "AHH, SON OF A BITCH!" Kai yelled as he fell over grabbing the right side of his face.

"Kai! Krieg cover us!"

"There's no barbecue until I say there's a barbecue!"

Axton looked over the wound which consisted of a good sized cut across the right side of Kai's face. "Hold still!" Axton said as he took an insta-heal and shot some of it into the wound. It quickly began healed and Kai soon gave his jaw a quick roll to test it.

"Thanks, Ax. Where's my gun?"

Axton looked around and found the gun in question, which from what he could see part of the casing had been ripped off by the bullet and had then struck Kai. "Damn, and I just bought that yesterday too." Kai said as he pulled out his Clementine.

Just then they heard Salvador yell, "HEADS UP!" Kai and Axton looked up and Krieg turned to see a large fireball flying at them.

"Balls of cooking!" Krieg yelled.

"RUUUN!" Axton yelled as they all scrambled to dodge the fireball. When it hit it exploded with the force of a Torgue grenade and throw all three men into the air. They land on the ground several meters away and start to pick themselves up. "So this is why you hate Tuesdays." Axton groaned as he brushed himself off.

"Hey, Axton."

"Yeah?"

"I found their commander."

Axton looked to see a Nomad Taskmaster who was wielding a Torgue assault rifle and a massive shield.

"More meat bags!" Krieg said as they were also flanked by a dozen Bloodshot Psychos and Marauders. Kai, Krieg, and Axton got back to back, both Kai and Axton raised their weapons while Krieg pulled out his buzz ax in his left hand and his Judge pistol in his right. "Yup… This is exactly why I hate Tuesdays." Kai said as he pulled Hati's photon projector out.

"GET'EM!" The Taskmaster yelled and the three Vault Hunters, the Psycho's and Bandits all opened fire on one another

As that fight was taking place Salvador was duking it out with Matchbox, or was trying to. Both opponents were of such a difference in size it caused the match to drag on. Salvador was smaller and faster than Matchbox, however, Matchbox's large size seemed to make him able to take large amounts of damage, and from what Sal could see, he would also set himself on fire periodically, which seemed to regenerate a little. But on the other hand, Matchbox was slow and primarily used his boxing skills to attack. His only ranged attack were the fireballs he could launch from his gloves, and a pyro ground pound which shot out a firey shockwave.

"Quit dodging heretic!" Matchbox yelled as he performed another ground pound which unleashed a pyro blast that Sal barely dodged.

"No thanks compañero, I don't want to end up like one of me abuela's roasted skags." Sal retorted as he pulled out his Vladof assault rifle, and with his Thre Dog he already out he started Gunzerking. As Salvador unleashing a lead storm at the Goliath, Matchbox raised its fist to guard his face. Matchbox then started to charge at Sal who realized this and tried to move out of the way. However, Matchbox managed to wing him as he passed which threw Salvador several meters into the air.

Salvador slammed against a large pipe with a thud before sliding to the ground. "Ugh, I'm gonna feel that… oh, mierda." He said as he looked up to see Matchbox charging him again only this time he swung a fired covered left uppercut. When the punch connected it launched Sal into the sky again. He flew up for several long seconds until gravity slowed him down and started pulling him back to Pandora. "OH SHIT! HEADS UUUUP!" He screamed.

This caused Maya, Gaige, and the remaining Bandits on the walkway to all lookup. Sal slammed down on the walkway which caused it to groan for several seconds before the supports gave way, making it collapse and everyone on it to fall down onto Krieg, Axton, Kai and the Bandits they were fighting. After a minute, the dust and smoke cleared, revealing a pile of scrap metal, wood, crushed Bandits, impaled Psychos on bars and scaffolding, and a pile of tangled Vault Hunters.

"Ouch, my back." Said Axton.

"Does anyone see the piece of metal poking me?" Kai asked.

"Sorry, that my arm, ouch." Gaige moaned.

"HEY! Who touched my butt!" Maya said.

All the Vault Hunters were suddenly thrown away in different directions as Krieg burst from the bottom of the dogpile. "WHO WISHES FOR A BLOOD SALT SANDWICH!" Krieg yelled in anger.

DeathTrap, who avoided the fall thank to his anti-grav unit floated down to help Gaige up, giving her a worried werble. "I'm fine DT, really."Gaige said as she got up.

Kai was watching this nearby and turned to Hati who had also dodged the collapse and was currently snickering at Kai expenses. "Seriously, why can't you be a bit more considerate like DT over there?" Hati gave him three small bark in response. "Well screw you, man."

"Uh, guys?" Maya said alerting everyone.

Everyone looked around to notice that the Taskmaster and two Bruisers were pulling themselves from the rubble. They all then heard something behind them and turned to see Matchbox standing about twenty meters away. "Mother has blessed me with this holy mask." Matchbox said as he pointed to his mask. "And in return for her blessing, she demands that I burn all the unbelievers. To fuel her rage. To-"

"OH JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Sal shouted as he fired his shotgun… Which nailed the mask and knocked it off of the Goliath's head. Everyone including the Bandits all froze as they stared at Matchbox who stared at the now mangled mask.

"Sal, tell me you did not just-" Kai started to say before he was interrupted by Matchbox screaming to the heaven

"AAAAAAARG!" Matchbox yelled as his body began to bulge. "You broke my prized possession! That, makes, mE... ANGRY!" He screamed out as his neck extended out and his head ignited in flames, yet didn't seem to burn him. "BURN FOR ME!" He yelled as jumped into the air ten meters and slammed on to the ground causing a massive fire Nova which knocked everyone back several meters. It also managed to cause both Hati and DT to time out.

"DAMMIT SAL!" Axton yelled as he scrambled to get back up. "Did you have to blast the Goliath's helmet off!"

"Sorry, I was angry with all the Rakk shit he was spewing!"

"Maya, Sal! Deal with the assholes on our six." Axton said as he tossed out his turret. "The rest of you, with me!

"Let's start the hurt party!" Krieg yelled as he charged forward and lept at Matchbox with his ax raised over his head. Matchbox, however, blocked the strike with his metal glove and countered with a heavy left hook, knocking Krieg away.

Gaige and Kai moved to the left of Matchbox, Gaige was firing away with her Shock SMG while Kai was using the Clementine. Axton flanked right and was peppering away with his assault rifle. In response, Matchbox began shooting fireballs from his gloves which Axton proceed to dodge by jumping behind a tent. Several shots then nailed Matchbox in the shoulder as Kai tried to draw his attention.

In response, Matchbox turned and punched out two fireballs at Kai. Kai dodged the first one but the second fireball hit him square on. His shield took the brunt of the damage but it still knocked him back. Gaige had switched back to her shotgun and was peppering Matchbox with shots as Axton also joined in. The raging brute then did something surprising, ran forward and then jumped and body slammed the ground. The three Vault Hunters stopped as they stared confusingly at the Goliath. Just then they saw a shield form around his body, he then got up and revealed a Tediore shield and a Torgue shield embedded into his chest.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Axton yelled.

"This is a new one." Kai said worriedly. "Gaige! Get your SMG back out and strip those shields quick!"

"Got it!" She responded as she immediately followed the order and pulled out her shock SMG and started unloading.

Kai also fired with his Clementine at him, and while most shots were soaked by the shields, several shots managed to pierce the shield and inflict damage to Matchbox directly thanks to the weapons extreme projectile velocity. Of course, this is only marginally effective since with the two shields combined only about two out of every eight shots were making it through. Axton also fired with his Dahl Heavy Carbine, combined together they quickly depleted the Tediore shield. Matchbox yelled and charged at Kai and Gaige, but with him closing the distance it made it easier for Gaige to land shots with her shock SMG which depleted the other shield even fast. That was until it did deplete and all of a sudden there was an explosive shockwave that engulfed Matchbox and launched both teens back.

"GAIGE! KAI!" Axton yelled as the teens fell to the ground. He chucked out his turret and ran left to set a crossfire and get Matchbox attention.

As that was happening Kai and Gaige we're picking themselves up. "Kai... what the hell was that?"

"A Torgue Nova shield. Once depleted they set off an explosive elemental nova in all directions." Kai said as he picked up his rifle.

"For the last time, explosives are not an element." Gaige said.

"What DT's stats?"

"Still needs another 3 minutes. What about Hati?"

"Two minutes." Kai said as he shot a full clip at Matchbox. "At least with his shield down we can damage him now."

"AHHH!" They both looked to see a Bruiser suddenly crash into Matchbox knocking them both over. They looked over to see Sal and Maya standing over the corpse of the Taskmaster and the other bruiser with Sal holding a smoking Bandit rocket launcher in hand. "Opps." was all Sal said.

"Well, that was helpful." Gaige said.

"No. No, that the opposite of helpful!" Kai said with a horrified expression on his face.

"What do you mean?"

They both heard a scream as they looked to Matchbox who was standing over the weakened bruiser with Matchbox arms raised over his head. "DIE FOR ME NON BELIEVER!" Matchbox yelled before brought down his fist and slammed the Bruiser's head. What shooked Gaige and the other Vault Hunters other than Kai and Salvador was when Matchbox suddenly grew a quarter in size and all of his wounds started to rapidly heal up.

"Uhm, okaaaay… WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" Gaige yelled in panic.

"Oh crap! He went badass!" Kai said. Just then both of Matchbox shields recharged and covered him up. "Correction, a badass with fucking dual shields!" He yelled as Matchbox kicked the corpse of the Bruiser which flew and slammed into Krieg knocking him down again. Maya then throws a Phaselock around Matchbox, this worked and trapped him… for all of two seconds before he flared his gloves which caused a fire Nova that exploded and freed him from his prison.

"Crap, Phaselock doesn't work on this guy!" Maya yelled before she rolled to her right to dodge a fireball Matchbox had thrown with twice the speed as before. He then lunged at Salvador with a burst of speed and brought a killer uppercut to him launching Sal up at and then through a platform wood until he came back down with a resounding thud top of a metal platform. ". . . Ow."

Gaige and Kai had duck down behind a large pipe as Matchbox began throwing fireballs in every direction. "Okay, again, what the hell just happened?!" Gaige yelled at Kai.

"Well, like you saw earlier when a Goliath helmet is knocked off they go into a rage. However the more opponents they kill the stronger and bigger they get. It like that movie you know with the magic knights who all fight each for power and love to yell when they kill someone. High something? HighSword! Yeah, that's it." Kai said as he swapped out his current grenade mod for a Tesla mod. "Found that out my first day here on Pandora." He stood up and threw the Tesla to the Goliath's feet where it deployed and began to consistently shock him, but to very little effect.

Matchbox jumped and landed near Axton and Krieg and performed a ground pound. The fire nova that ensued blasted them both them back. "FUCK! That didn't even phase him." Kai said. Suddenly both of their ECHO beeped, the teens looked at each other and grinned.

"Party time?" Gaige asked with a grin.

"Party time." Kai affirmed as he held up his holo sphere. They both jumped over their cover and deployed their partners. "Get him Hati!" Kai yelled as the wolf materialized into existence, ready to rip flesh free from its bones.

"Rip him a new one buddy!" Gaige yelled as DT charged forward.

Both constructs reached and surprised Matchbox who was turned away at the moment as Hati went for his right arm and DT tried to stab his left with his digistruct claws. Matchbox shields took most of the damage but they still held as Matchbox quickly countered with a left cross that knocked both constructs back. DT immediately reacted by firing an electrical laser from his eye, at the same time Kai and Gaige began attacking again, forcing Matchbox to stumble back. Hati took this moment to charge a Mjölnir and fire it at Matchbox, the combined attack not only took out the first layer of his shields but also overloaded the Tediore shield as it primary core exploded in a small fireball leaving a charred piece of scrap embedded in Matchbox chest.

"UuuuuUUUUAAAAGH! I'LL BURN YOU ALL TO ASHES AND DUMP YOUR REMAINS INTO THE WELL OF INFINITE FREEZING!" Matchbox screamed. Gaige and Kai looked at each other for a few seconds before they both shrugged and continued to fire. At this point, Maya, Axton, and Krieg also joined in with as they all concentrated there fire on Matchbox.

"Everyone get back, his last shield is almost depleted, watch out for the Nova!" Axton yelled as everyone slowly backed up.

"DAMN YOU CURSED VAULT HUNTERS!" Matchbox yelled before he jumped straight up into the air a good ten meters.

"He's going for a slam!" Maya yelled.

"Not on my watch!" Salvador yelled as he started to Gunzerk with his weapons.

"SAL NO!" Axton yelled, but it was too late. Just as Matchbox came down to perform another Nova his Torgue shield was depleted by Sal's gunfire. Seeing this Kai yelled "GET DOWN!" before he and Gaige jumped behind a nearby rock. The result of the shield and the attack was a massive explosion of fire that engulfed everything in ten meters and sent a shockwave all around the canyon.

Kai slowly got up from behind the rock he and Gaige ducked behind and checked the area. Everything was either blown away, burned to a crisp, or both. It looked like a bomb went off.

'Which is basically what happened.' Kai thought as he watches both DT and Hati dematerialize. He then looked down to check on Gaige, "Hey, Gaige, you okay?"

"Ugh, did we win?" She asked as she uncovered her ears.

"BURN FOR ME INFIDELS! FOR I AM THE FIREHAWK'S DIVINE WRATH AND SHE DEMANDS YOUR INCINERATION!" An unscathed Matchbox yelled as he started to run towards the two teens.

"CRAP!" they both yelled as Kai fired his Clementine and Gaige drew her Rogue, yet their weapons were having little effect in stopping him. Matchbox was now only six meters away when a large amount of gunfire started to strike his right side making him slid to a stop. Everyone looked to see Axton with a common Vladof assault rifle out with his turret deployed next to him and Krieg firing away with a bandit SMG. "STAY AWAY FROM MY MURDER BUDDIES!" Krieg yelled.

"Uh, yeah what he said!" Axton yelled.

Matchbox turned to face the larger threat as he prepared to charge when Gaige realized something as she looked at the Goliath. "Kai! The tanks! Shot the fuel tanks on his back!" Kai immediately understood as they both raised their weapons and fired like crazy. At first, their rounds seemed to just bounce off the tanks until one round hit the fuel connector that linked to both tanks at the bottom with a resounding metallic ping.

The bottom of Matchbox's fuel tanks suddenly ignited in a violent plume of fire that spewed out of the damaged pipe. This sent Matchbox in a panic as he looked left and right in an attempt to see behind him. "WHAT'S HAPPENING!" Matchbox yelled as he began to shake violently. The flame kicked into high gear as the pipe failed and ignited both tanks into a thunderous jet of flames that detonated in a blast of superheated smoke. In reaction to this, Kai quickly grabbed Gaige and threw her behind a collapsed platform before throwing himself over her as a wave of superheated smoke and fire washed over them.

After about ten seconds the flames stopped and the noise died down. The wind soon blew away most of the smoke to reveal that both Kai and Gaige were unscathed. Kai slowly got up and looked at Gaige. "You alive?"

"A little crispy," Gaige groaned as she noted that her shield only had about five points let on it current capacity out of its full twenty thousand. "But alive." Gaige looked at Kai and noted that her HUD showed that his shield was barely holding even with the fire immunity she knew it had. It then occurred to her, had he not thrown himself over her, she surely would have been burned, if not worse. "Uhhh, thanks for the save Kai."

"You would have done the same." Kai said as he helped her up.

Gaige looked around to see the now scorched ground all around them, she also noticed all the other Vault Hunters were picking themselves up. But what she didn't see was Matchbox. "Uh where's Matchbox, did he explode?" she asked as they both looked around. After a few seconds, they both heard a loud but quickly growing distant laugh as they both looked up and went slack-jawed.

"MOTHER HAS BLESSED ME WITH THE FLAME WINGS! I ACCEEEEEND!" cried out the ecstatic Goliath as he quickly flew up into the sky faster and faster like a rocket.

"... Well, now I've seen everything." Gaige said as she stared at the accelerating Goliath while also pulling out her ECHO to recorder the sight.

"Gaige, believe me when I say, that phrase means Jack fucking shit on this planet." Kai said as they both continued to watch as Matchbox flew into the sky. Soon the others all come over to also watch as well.

"Damn, for a big guy, he sure is going high." Sal said.

"Just how much fuel does that thing have?" Maya asked.

"I'm more interested in what he was packing in those tanks." Axton stated.

"Meat man flies like an unladen swallow!" Krieg said.

They all continued to watch until they could no longer see his vapor trail. "You think he made it to space?" Gaige asked. Not even two seconds went by before the entire sky was lit up by a massive blinding flash of light, causing the Vault Hunters to cover their eyes. After about twenty seconds, the light died down some and the Vault Hunters were able to open their eyes. To everyone shock there was now an ever-expanding fireball in the sky. After about another minute the explosion died off leaving a massive red and orange transparent nebula in the sky.

". . . Well, that just happened." Kai said.

"That's all you have to say?! That was fucking awesome!" Gaige yelled.

Their ECHO's suddenly came to life as Scooter's voice come on. " _DUDES! What in tarnation was that! I thought the world was coming to an end!_ "

Kai active his ECHO and spoke up. "Scooter, we live on Pandora. If the end of the world did come to Pandora, it would be something far more epic than just a simple nuclear explosion. Now as to what just happened, we just launched a Goliath into space, and from the looks of it we added a new stellar phenomenon to Pandora's upper atmosphere." Kai said.

Scooter was silent for a moment until the next thing he 'yelled' was so loud it caused everyone to wince. " _DAMN~! You guys are FREAKING CRAZY! Did you find Roland yet?_ "

"Not yet, we got held up by the locals here and some visitors in the area." Kai said as he and everyone check their ears.

" _Well, I think I got plan B almost ready._ " The sound of something being electrocuted could suddenly be heard in the background, followed by a high pitched yelp of pain.

" _Ugh, Scratch that, Claptrap just tried to... 'integrate' with one of ta generators. . . Yeah, this is gonna take '_ ah _while. Scooter out_!"

"Well, that was interesting." Zer0 said.

"Yeah… Wait, ZER0! Where the hell were you during that fight?!" Axton inquired after his initial surprise.

Zer0 merely pointed his thumb behind him towards the entrance to the canyon which everyone looked to. There was well over seventy bodies of sliced up Bloodshot Bandits and mutilated Spiderants all over the place.

"AW MAN! You're beating my kill count!" Salvador yelled only to receive a wink face emoji in return.

"Well, we better get moving." Axton said.

"WAIT!" Salvador yelled.

"What now?" Axton said as he turned to the short man.

"What about all the loot?!"

"What loot?" Maya asked. "Matchbox's last nova and his lift-off blew away any- *THUD* . . . Loot?" She looked down at her feet to see a common Maliwan slag SMG had just fallen in front of her. Maya and everyone then looked up to see a small cloud of loot falling from the sky all around them.

"Huh. . . That's new." Kai said.

So with that everyone quickly began running around and gathering up what loot they could find for the next several minutes. Kai just watched as nothing really seemed to catch his eye. "Hey, Kai why are you not grabbing anything?" Gaige asked.

"I don't really need anything right now, plus I don't see anything of interest."

"What about a new SMG? Isn't that one on your back damaged?" she said as she pointed out the damaged corrosive SMG.

"Maybe, but then again I don't see any blue or purple grade SMGs laying around."

Gaige looked around until her HUD marked a weapon as blue. She ran over and picked up an SMG with a set of magazine's coming off of the body on either side. The front of the SMGs body was a bright blue which faded in a checkerboard pattern into a solid maroon with a hexagonal pattern at the rear. "How about this?" Gaige yelled back to Kai as she picked up the gun and held it up for him to see.

Kai took a quick glance at the gun before giving a frustrated sigh. "Gaige, how many times do I have to tell you? Bandit weapons are no good."

"I know, but it sooo cool looking, and it…. Wait this says it made by Scav… What's Scav?"

This piqued Kai's interest, so he walked over to Gaige who handed him the weapon. The weapons stat appeared on a holo-screen in front of him and stated that the weapon was called the 'Skavenged Fast Talker'. As he looked down the list of stats he noted some interesting stats such as the ridiculously high ammo capacity and fire rate. He also noted the fact that the weapon had a red text tag on it which from what he learned during his tutelage with Mr. Dixon told him that the weapon had been heavily modified and could have a special trait. Eventually, he reached the bottom and sure enough, the Scav logo was posted in the corner. "Well I'll be damned, it is a Scav weapon."

"But what is a Scav?"

"Scavs or scavengers are basically Bandits who live on the Elpis, Pandora's moon. From a few reports the Raiders have received, most of the Scavs have been killed off by Hyperion after the Lost Legion was uprooted. Their weapons are a little bit better, but that's mostly because they made them from starship. Still cobbled together mind you, but it a better quality of scrap. Although this one seems a little more-"

Before he could finish a badly burned and bloodied Rad Max suddenly burst from some nearby wreckage. "DIE!" He screamed as he fired wildly with his machine gun. Before anyone else could react Kai had shouldered the SMG he had in hand, aimed, and fired… Everything. The moment Kai pulled the trigger the SMG unleashed a storm of lead that had no end in sight. Max was feeling every bullet as he was being pelted by more than a dozen bullets every second, causing blood and bits of flesh to splatter all around.

After about eight seconds of continuous fire, Kai's SMG finally clicked empty as the last round was spent. Kai lowered the weapon as he and Gaige took a good look at what _remained_ of the still standing nomad. Max's torso was riddled with more holes than a block of Swiss cheese, with blood dripping out of each one. "I'm… gonna… slaughter you… all… ugh." Rad Max quietly said before falling over dead. As soon as he hit the ground several pieces of loot fell off and around his corpse. Kai just looks at the SMG in his hands.

"Uh, could I maybe have that back?" Gaige asked hopefully.

Kai gave Gaige a deadpan glance. "You want me to give you a weapon that not only has an OP fire rate but a has a magazine the size of Salvador's ego?"

"HEY!" Yelled Sal nearby as he was already trying to pick up Rad Max's machine gun.

"Especially after that "Near Enough' mishap back at Southpaw."

"It's called "Close Enough" not Near Enough! And it still needs to be tweaked." Gaige said with a cute pout.

"Yeah, well until then no high mag weapons that can kill all of us. Besides, I think I'm starting to like this gun." Kai said with a dark grin that promised pain and destruction to all those on the wrong end of the barrel. "Especially after I start tinkering with it."

"Fiiiine… But I call dibs on all of Rad's loot. Minus that big gun." Gaige finished as Salvador finally managed to lift said gun with the ammo backpack on only to fall on his back because of the sheer weight. Gaige then ran over and started looking through the loot, as Maya walked over to Kai side.

"Good call about not letting her have that gun. I can still feel that ricochet round that hit me in the arm." Maya said, rubbing her arm.

"At least It was just your arm, she nailed me twice, and one almost got me in the balls." Axton said as he and Krieg walked over while looking at a Corrosive Tediore SMG he had in hand.

"Is Red scavenging a good brain fart?" Krieg asked.

"Oh relax man, they're bandits, I doubt she'll find anything that danger-"

"HELL YEAH!" Gaige shouted as she suddenly jumped up with an assault rifle in hand. It was a Rare Vladof spinigun but this one was painted a sage green and had a large red star painted on the body just behind the grip. There was also a reddish-orange glow on the barrels ends and at several other spots on the body which suggested that the weapon was a fire type. "My first assault rifle! This is some metal!" She said as she shouldered the weapon and started looking for a target.

Krieg just looked to Kai who had a blank look. "Of course I could be wrong."

"Easy Red, let's not get to carried-" Axton started to say only for Gaige to shoot off several lasers. One round bounced off of a pipe thanks to her Close Enough skill and flew right past Axton and singed his hair some. ". . . Away." Axton finished with a slightly cracked and nervous voice.

"Huh, an assault rifle that shoots lasers… That's interesting, if not worrying." Maya said with as she observed Axton's still smoking hair.

Gaige, on the other hand, had stars in her eyes as she looked at the weapon in her hands again. "Hoh! It shoots lasers!? This… This is… This is AWESOME! Thank you almighty robot policeman!" She cried out as she started hugging the weapon.

This comment garnered a few raised eyebrows from everyone as they watch the happy teen. "Ugh, Gaige, I thought you weren't religious… and who the hell is the almighty robot policeman?" Kai asked who received a confused look from the girl in question.

"... Ugh, I don't know. It just sort of, came out."

Everyone stared at the redhead until Axton let out a sigh. "Screw it, we got a Resistance leader to save." He said as he motioned for everyone to move out.

"Ugh, guys? A little help here?" Salvador said as he tried to lift the machine gun. "Guys?"

Fifteen minutes later after, killing some badass Psychos, avoiding several fire traps and finally convincing Sal to abandoned the oversized machine gun, the gang was now restocking their ammo at some conveniently located ammo and medical vending machines in a cavern.

"So what's the plan?" Maya asked as everyone finished reloading.

"I was thinking we go in as two teams. One will focus on distr-" before he could finish the sound of several explosions suddenly reverberated through the cavern alongside the screams of dying Bandits.

"This way!" Sal yelled as he started sprinting towards the sounds. Everyone else quickly ran after him leaving Axton alone.

Axton stood there for several seconds until he gave a sigh. "Or we could all just follow the crazy midget that smells like a Chuna 2 mega dump… HEY GUYS, WAIT UP!"

It took a minute to reach the end of the cave which lead to a cliff that had several round platforms suspended off of it. There were signs of a fight all around as there were Bloodshot corpses, scorch marks, and lots of spent bullet casings. "Alright, everyone stay close and watch for hostiles." Axton said as everyone nodded.

They slowly approached the main platform and could hear the occasional burst of gunfire which was followed by the screams of death. There was also random purple and red flashes that lit up the area. Those seemed to cause the most screams, which unnerved most of the Vault Hunters.

As they approach the main platform they could see two Bruisers looking around in every direction. "Where she go!?" One of them asked. "I don't know!" The other yelled as he fired several shotgun blasts in random directions.

Everyone then heard a rumble that began to quickly build up when a red and orange flash suddenly struck between the Bruisers. The following shockwave cased both Bruisers to explode into bits, as blood and body parts flew all around. However, what really grabbed the Vault Hunter's attention was the woman who appeared where the flash had occurred.

She was crouched down on her left knee and had her left fist bashed into a small crater on the ground from where she hit it. Her body was glowing in a fiery orange and had a pair of fire wings coming from her back. The glow around her body started to subside showing her pale skin. She stood up and turned around to the Vault Hunters revealing a familiar set of tattoos on her left side of her hip and her left arm. Her hair was a deep scarlet with it lightening up near the ends, with her eyes being pink with a slight glow. She had on a maroon tank top with a shortcut, with a brownish-grey vest that was cut at the midriff and wasn't zipped up, and a pair of brown fingerless gloves. She wore skin-tight pants with knee-high combat boots with metal guards tide to the front of them.

" _It can't be_." Angel said in Gaige's Whisper. " _The Fire Hawk is_ -"

"Lilith?!" Kai suddenly asked.

Lilith just looked over the Vault Hunters for a few seconds till a cocky smile graced her face. "Sup."

**X-X-X**

**-Bonus-**

As Matchbox flew higher and higher, he kept laughing. So many things were happening to the happy Goliath, he was flying, he was leaving that forsaken planet he had called home for the last twenty-three years, and he was doing it all on the flames of the Firehawk! "Thank you, mother! Thank you for this blessing! Let me spread your words of warmth to the universe!" He yelled as he shut his eyes to bask in the glory of his god's blessing. . . Only to then slam into a low orbit Hyperion observation satellites which caused him to explode into a massive nuclear fireball. An effect that many people saw, or felt.

On Helio's station, Handsome Jack was working on some paperwork in his office when there was a flash of light that lit up the whole room. He turned and looked out the window to Pandora and saw a bright flash of something.

"What the?" He mumbled before reaching for the intercom. "Sweetcheeks, get me the station control room on the phone… Sweetcheeks? Hey! Are you even listening to-" before he could finish a jet of Raspberry jam to shot out of one of the many compartments and splashed Jack with the equivalent force of a fire hose. The force was so great that it knocked him off his out of his chair and into the window. After several seconds he slowly slides down the glass and onto the floor, he lied there for several seconds before he wiped the jam off his face.

"I… hate… raspberry." Jack muttered with detest.

In another part of the Galaxy in a stuffy board room. "And so we have seen a four percent increase in sales in outer colonies in sector seven." Droned on a boring looking businessman to a room with a dozen old, well-dressed but equally, or more, boring businessmen, save for one man.

This man had no shirt on and looked like he could bench press a bus was drumming his fingers on the table in boredom. He gave a small sigh as he wished for something AWESOME to happen as the one businessman continues to talk about another financial report. That was when he felt something, a disturbance in the universe, a disturbance so big it had to be one of the craziest, most badass of awesome things to ever happen in the known universe! And as he had learned, crazy and badass things like this are always followed by even more crazy and badass things. He knew he had to seek out this epic source of badassery.

With that, the man suddenly jumped up and ran for the door, just before reaching it someone spoke. "Mr. Torgue, just where do you think you're going." Said a stern voice that belonged to the company president Smith, the current head of the Torgue corporation.

"I JUST FELT A DISTURBANCE, SOMETHING SO F*CKING BADASS, THAT IT DEMANDS MY IMMEDIATE PRESENCE!" Mr. Torgue screamed.

"Mr. Torgue, you cannot do as you please, and you are not allowed to leave. We have several armed guards outside to make sure to stay in this meeting. Now please sit down, we have to discuss our next promotional which involves you working with our company's new mascot. Billy the Bullet." Mr. Smith said gesturing to a guy in a cartoonish bullet suit.

". . . . . Hmm."

Outside the building on about the 284th floor of a massive skyscraper in the middle of a megacity Billy the bullet suddenly came flying out of a window with the large muscle man now identified as Mr. Torgue surfing on Billy's back. "F*CK YOU LOSERS. TIME TO FIND THE SOURCE OF ALL THAT BADASSERY! WEEEH WAWA WAAAAAAH!"

Back on Pandora, in the frozen wilds of the Tundra Express, Mordecai was watching the explosion above him in total shock. "I really need to lay off the rakk ale." With Bloodwing chirping in response.

Next, to him, a young wide eye girl stared at the spot where the largest explosion she had ever witnessed had just occurred a moment before. With a hint of maniacal glee in her eyes, a large and happy smile graced her face. "Do it again! Do it again! DO IT AGAIN!"


	11. Myths and Legends

**X-X-X**

**_\- LAST TIME ON REBEL ANARCHY -_ **

_As they approach the main platform they could see two Bruisers looking around in every direction. "Where she go!?" One of them asked. "I don't know!" The other yelled as he fired several shotgun blasts in random directions._

_Everyone then heard a rumble that began to quickly build up when a red and orange flash suddenly struck between the Bruisers. The following shockwave caused both Bruisers to explode into bits, as blood and body parts flew all around. However, what really grabbed the Vault Hunter's attention was the woman who appeared where the flash had occurred._

_She was crouched down on her left knee and had her left fist bashed into a small crater on the ground from where she hit it. Her body was glowing in a fiery orange and had a pair of fire wings coming from her back. The glow around her body started to subside showing her pale skin. She stood up and turned around to the Vault Hunters revealing a familiar set of tattoos on her left side of her hip and her left arm. Her hair was a deep scarlet with it lightening up near the ends, with her eyes being a pink with a slight glow. She had on a maroon tank top with a shortcut, with a brownish grey vest that was cut at the midriff and wasn't zipped up, and a pair of brown fingerless gloves. She wore skin-tight pants with knee high combat boots with metal guards tide to the front of them._

_"It can't be." Angel said in Gaige's Whisper. "The Fire Hawk is-"_

_"Lilith?!" Kai suddenly asked._

_Lilith just looked over the Vault Hunters for a few seconds till a cocky smile graced her face. "Sup."_

**- _AND NOW THE CONTINUATION_ -**

Lilith suddenly fell to one knee, which Kai immediately reacted to by rush forward to check her. "Maya!" Kai yelled causing Maya to snap out of her shock and she quickly runs over.

Lilith looked up at Maya as she came over and looked her over. "Huh, been a while since I've seen another Siren." She said before turning to look at everyone else. "Howyadoin'. The bandits call me the Firehawk, but the name's Lilith. I'm with the Raiders, like you. I keep the bandits in line so Roland can focus on taking down Jack. Anyway, long story, lots of internal bleeding." She suddenly groaned and leaned forward a bit.

"Are you hit anywhere, is anything broken?" Maya asked as she and Kai checked her over.

"Oof. I'm fine, I just need a pick-me-up. Get me some Eridium, will ya? I should have some in one of my strong boxes." She said nodding to one of the other platforms. Gaige and others ran over and started checking the boxes until Sal found a chunk of it. They quickly brought it back to Lilith.

"Is this what you need?" Sal asked holding out the glowing rock.

"Yeah, that's the stuff. Give it here?" Lilith said as Sal gave her the rock. Once it was in her hand she clutched her hand around the rock and began to squeeze it causing both the rock and her tattoos to glow as the rock was absorbed into her hand. Almost instantly all her wounds seemed to heal as her body seemed to absorb the eridium. "Ahh. Thanks." As she took a second to revel in the energy. "Bet you're looking for Roland, huh? He's not here, the Bloodshots grabbed him. Made 'em cocky, too; they never came after me this hard."

As soon as she finished the sentence there was an explosion behind her as a vent over the platform blown open. A few seconds later several Psychos dropped down one of them pointed his buzz axe at Lilith and yelled "Yer days of meltin' my meat bicycles are over!"

Lilith just chuckled a little before turning back to everyone. "Now the real fun begins. I'll see if I can't phase blast a few of 'em for ya." She said before she disappeared in a flash.

The next several minutes involved a large amount of slicing, dicing, shooting, burning, shocking, and melting all of the Bloodshots as they attempted to raid the cavern. Throughout the fight, Lilith used her Siren powers to kill off several dozen Psycho's and Bandits. It all finally came down to two badass Psychos. "They killed our toys brother!"

"UNFORGIVABLE!"

"Let's pound their souls and make sweet cranberry jam!"

"I LOVE JAM!" The other Psycho screamed as they charged. . . Into a firing squad.

"EAT LEAD PENDAO!" Salvador screams as he and the other Vault Hunters all began to unload hundreds of rounds into the one on the left. As for the other Psycho, Lilith appeared in front of him in a flash and grabbed his head. With a blast of energy, the Psycho's face began to violently melt into a puddle of putrid slime.

"Damn, that is nasty, girl." Gaige said as she held her nose.

"Maybe, but you have to admit it was pretty badass. I'm feeling pretty tapped out, can someone get me another chunk of eridium." Lilith asked as she kneeled down to rest. After about a minute of looking, Axton found another chunk and gave it to her. "Much appreciated." She said as she absorbed the rock.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you just do?" Maya asked.

Ahhhh. Yeah." Lilith said as she looked over to the fellow Siren. "Since the Vault opened, my Siren powers have been getting a little... awesome, thanks to this Eridium stuff. No idea why. Now, let's talk about rescuing my boyfriend." She paused and thought about it. "Well...ex-boyfriend."

"Before the Bloodshots grabbed him, Roland was getting intel on the Vault, and what Jack plans to do with it. You all will have to find him since I need to head back to Sanctuary, keep the city in one piece while Roland's away. But first, I'm gonna teleport you guys into the Bloodshot Stronghold, that's where they're keeping Roland. You'll catch 'em by surprise and have a real advantage. It'll be great. Hold still."

"Ugh Lilith, I don't think that a good-" before Kai could finish there was a flash that blinded everyone. When it ended they all looked and realized that they were still in the cavern, only now they were on a walkway off to the side of the main platforms. Then everyone but Maya suddenly bolted in different directions as the sound of bile being thrown up could be heard. Even Zer0 ran behind a rock to throw up.

"...I just moved you all, like, ten feet, didn't I? Sorry. I'm still getting used to this. Reminds me, though, Bloodshot Stronghold is full of real tough customers. So you might want to gear up some. There a few items at the end of the cavern there that that should be useful."

"Will take that under advisement," Maya said as she looked over to her suffering friends.

"Well, I'll see you guys when you get back to Sanctuary. Kill some Bloodshots for me." She said cheerfully before suddenly teleporting away.

After another minute or two everyone got back together and headed down through the cavern Lilith pointed out. The Vault Hunters soon reached the end and found a large red chest near an opening that put them up on the cliffs near where they entered the canyon. Sal unlocked it, causing the chest to automatically open up. What they found garnered several reactions as the content of the chest consisted of several stones in various shapes. The only thing of note was the fact that they glowed a little.

"Oh boy! I always wanted one of these!" Salvador yelled as he quickly snatched up an angularly shaped stone with slits of orangish-red crystals threading it.

"Wait what so special about a stone?" Gaige asked as the others (except Kai) also had confused looks.

Sal just grinned as he held the stone up in his open palm. "This... is an Eridian relic." He said as the stone began to levitate as a glowing red aura cloud seems to start spinning around it.

"Woah." Gaige whispered as everyone stared at the relic with fascination. Sal then took the relic and placed it in his ECHO storage deck and walked over to a large boulder. "Sal what are you-" Maya started to ask when Sal suddenly started to yell as he brought his right fist back and then quickly lashed out at the boulder. Upon contact, a large set of spider web cracks formed around the impact point.

"WOAH!" Everyone but Kai and Zer0 yelled in shock. "It grants super strength! That is AWESOME!" Gaige yelled.

"I guess you can call it that." Sal said as he walked back to the chest as he picked up another relic that was spikier than the rest. "But note, strength isn't the only thing." The relic in hand activated and several blue auras spun around it. "This one an elemental relic, a fire booster to be exact. It increases the power of fire weapons and attacks.

"And any of us can use these?" Axton asked.

"Yup." Kai said as he opened his inventory and pulled out his own relic. "This one an Allegiance relic. It boosts several stats of the Vladof weapons, such as recoil and even mag size… Don't ask how it works, because I can't explain why it works, just know it does work."

"Can you use them in conjunction?" Gaige asked.

Kai and Sal glanced at one another. "It's… Possible, but very dangerous. The last guy I saw do it was a Vault hunter who used a Vitality relic in conjunction with a strength relic, he turned into a three-meter tall green skinned raging monster. . . before he exploded." Kai said.

"I saw a Bandit once try using a Resistance relic with an Elemental relic, that bastard turned into a puddle of slime." Sal said as he turned a little green at the memory.

Soon after the rest of the Vault Hunters each picked their own relics. Axton took Dahl allegiance relic, Maya grabbed a Resistance relic that boosted resistance to shock, Zer0 took an Aggression relic that boosted his snipers and SMGs damage. Krieg took an Elemental Relic that boosted fire element attacks. Gaige to her slight disappointment had to settle on a Protection relic that boosted her shields recharge rate and capacity by fifteen percent. After which they quickly left and head to the Bloodshot dam.

**X-X-X**

[One Hour Later]

The gang was sitting outside of Bloodshot stronghold in four Runners as they stared at the front gate. "Is anyone even home?" Maya asked.

"No idea… Axton?" Gaige asked.

"I don't know." Axton said from his Runner.

" _Hunh… Nobody seems to be around_." Lilith said over the ECHO.

"No, they're there." Kai said in a bored manner as he checked his sidearm, an uncommon Jakobs Leather Revolver. "These guys are just straight-up lazy when there's nothing to shoot or gut."

" _Well then, just drive up and honk your horn. Maybe this won't be so hard after all_." Lilith said over the ECHO. She had made it back to Sanctuary and was now providing command support.

Axton shrugged his shoulders before he honked his Runners horn.

Their ECHO's came on again as the gate began to lower. " _Yeah, yeah. I'm opening the gate_." Said a very lazy sounding bandit.

"Holy skag licks! It working!" Sal said causing Kai to flinch as his gut knew what was going to happen next.

" _Hold it, idiots!_ " Came Flanksteak voice. " _That don't look like one of our technicals! They're here for our hostage, get em!_ "

With that several ports opened on the wall of the gate entry as dozens of guns began firing on the vault hunters. "RETREAT!" Axton yelled as he and everyone else quickly spin their Runners around to get away.

Once they were safely away the gang stop to regroup and check for bullet holes. "Well, that didn't work." Sal said.

"Because you FUCKING JINXED IT!" Kai yelled as he jumps out of his Runner.

"Well, what now?" Maya asked.

"Storm the rampart like a flying coconut and land on their doormat of blood and hate." Krieg yelled. Everyone looked to Kai for a translation.

"Like the initiative in your thinking buddy, but I don't know where we would find a catapult on such short notice." Kai said.

"Wait, didn't you tell me those Bandit Technicals have catapults, couldn't we snag one of them?" Gaige asked.

"Yes, but believe me it a pain in the ass to get one. Plus we could have already had one in the digistruct system if 'someone' wasn't always blowing them up before we could scan the ones we stole!" Kai said.

" _Hey! I only accidentally destroyed four of the Bandit trucks you and Reiss brought to me_." Scooter said. " _The fifth one was not my fault_."

"You just let Earl eat the fifth one! You didn't even try to stop him!" Kai yelled.

"Wait, you mean that cranky old man ate a whole Technical!" Sal said. "I know you said he ate a car but how do you eat a truck!?"

"You don't want to know\ _You don't want to know_." Both Kai and Scooter answered.

"Actually, wouldn't it be easier to just sneak in by having a technical truck, instead of launching ourselves at high velocity?" Maya asked. "After all, we just need it to look like one of there trucks from the sound of it."

Everyone was silent as they processed Maya's suggestion. "That could work." Axton said.

" _My sis out in the Dust might be able to hook yall up with a set of wheels_." Scooter put cut in.

"An interesting idea there / very simple and very effective / plus it much safer." Zer0 said.

" _Then it's decided, get to the Dust and meet up with Scooters sister_." Lilith said.

Kai just sighed. "Well, this is going to be fun."

"Why do you say that?" Maya asked.

"It's about a two to four hours to drive to the Dust over rough roads, that are patrolled by several bandit gangs." He gave a dejected sigh and climbed back in his Runner and started strapping in. "Well, let's go. This is gonna be a looong trip."

Gaige was about to get back to Kai's Runner when she noticed Krieg was still standing where he was when he suggested his idea. His head was drooped down some, shoulders slumped and his one eye showed a disappointed sadness. "Aww, you really want to try the catapult, don't you."

Krieg just nodded a little. "It was a good idea, just not the best time for it… I'm sure will find a situation where we'll need to use a catapult."

Krieg looked at Gaige for several seconds until he suddenly grabbed her and brought her in for a hug. "Thanks for tingling my spine little red!"

"Ugh. No- no problem… I think. Could you please stop crushing my spine." Krieg let go, letting Gaige fall back on her feet. "Thanks."

"Hey! Come on you two, we're burning daylight." Axton yelled for his Runner.

**X-X-X**

[Four Hours Later]

It was a quiet picturesque scene in the desert canyon as the sun set ever so slowly, bringing the day to night. The peace was suddenly broken as several Runners roared by… Along with the sounds of the Warren Zevon song, "Werewolves of London". Hati was riding on top of Kai and Gaige's Runner between the two with his tongue flapping in the wind. As the song would hit the howls Hati would joyfully howl in tune with it.

Gaige was in the turret recording Hati with her ECHO as well as sending a live feed to Maya who was driving the Runner behind them. " _Oh my gosh, this is just so funny!_ " Maya said.

"I'm so posting this when I make my next ECHO." Gaige laughed as Hati howled again with the Aa-hooo.

It had been several hours since the convoy left Threehorns, and the four Runners were driving along a cliffside road. Axton was leading the group in his Runner, followed by Kai and Gaige, then Maya and Krieg, and finally Zer0 and Sal.

" _So if I keep doing what I've been doing, I'll earn these badass points you two have been talking about?_ " Sal asked Kai over a separate ECHO.

"Basically, almost anything you do will get you badass points. In fact, Gaige made a program that helps us keep track of said achievements with your ECHO on her way here to Pandora. It's fucking awesome!"

" _Really! Sweet!_ "

"Hey guys, I think we're here." Axton said over the comms.

Kai and Gaige both looked to see in the distance what looked like a junkyard with several structures and a large sign saying _Ellie's_ standing next to it.

"Wow, didn't expect her to be up and running this soon." Kai said.

"This place looks like it been here since the big bang." Gaige said. Before Kai could respond, Scooter's voice cut in.

" _Finally Made it to the Dust, huh? You guys have been off the ECHO fer hours, thought you mighta got brained or something. But you ain't, so yay…and stuff_. " Scooter said.

" _Geeez thanks for being so worried scooter. But anywho, we can see Ellie's place now._ " Axton said over the ECHO.

" _Right on, I'll talk to y'all later, still working here. Oh and no messing with my sis!_ "

They all soon drove into the junkyard and dismounted their vehicles. It was then that they noticed that they seemed to have arrived during the middle of something as they could see a large woman with short light brown hair was over by the car crusher. She had on an orange shirt, workman overalls with a tool belt around her waist, and a pair of red sneakers.

Over in the crusher was a tied up marauder sitting in a Bandit Technical who was struggling to get out. "I should have killed your fat ass when I had the chance!" The tied up Marauder yelled.

"Sorry, what was that? You gotta speak up!" The women said as the gates on the machine closed. Only two seconds later the crusher slammed down causing a spray of blood and oil to shoot from the machine seams.

"Heh, that was awesome." The women said before turning around to find she had an audience. "Oh, howdy! I didn't see ya there! Name's Ellie. My brother Scooter told me you was comin'! Don't get many visitors around here, especially not ones so cute." She said looking at Gaige. "Love the outfit."

"Thanks." Gaige responded.

Ellie then turned to Kai. "Kai!" Kai suddenly tried to run but she grabbed him by the jacket collar and dragged him in for a hug. "Give me a hug." She said as the others could hear several of his bones cracking.

"Good to see you too Ellie. Now can you please stop hugging me, I can't feel my * _crack*_ spine!"

"Oh, sorry!" Ellie said as she let go of Kai.

"So why did a girl like you set up shop way out here in the middle of nowhere?" Salvador asked.

"Well, I was staying in Sanctuary till a few months ago, but after several disagreements with my ma and brother, I decided to come out here and set up shop. After all, I'd rather be building awesome shit then serving drinks at her bar with these three toothpicks she calls waitresses." It was silent for several seconds as a random tumbleweed rolled past everyone.

. . . "MOXXI'S YOUR MOM!?" All the Vault Hunters (including Zer0) yelled out.

"Ha, that reaction never gets old, kind of reminds me when you found out." Ellie said to Kai.

"Ellie you had your fun with me, so please, let me enjoy this." Kai said with a cheeky grin as he snapped several pictures of everyone dumbstruck faces with his ECHO.

"What the!? KAI! You better delete those!" Gaige yelled.

"Nah, I think I'll upload them to your ECHO channel." Kai said causing Hati to snicker.

"What! Noooo! Give me that ECHO!" Gaige roared as she started chasing the rebel and his wolf as they started a game of keep away. Ellie and the rest of the Vault Hunters just watched with different levels of amusement.

"So is this normal now, because I've never seen Kai like this?" Ellie asked.

"I guess, it's been little arguments and banter here and there." Maya said as Gaige deployed DT which actually made Kai start running as Gaige ordered him to zap him. DT followed without question as lighting bolts started shooting out at Kai.

"So y'all are tryin' ta rescue your pal Roland from the dam, huh?"

"Yeah, but they open fire on anything outside." Axton said.

"I betcha could fool those Bloodshots if you drove up in one of their custom trucks."

"That actually the plan." Axton replied.

"Awesome I got one right over yonder that I… Crushed with the driver still inside." Ellie slow finished saying as her brain caught up with what she said.

"Seriously Ellie!?" Kai yelled as he was holding Gaige off with one arm. "Scooter already destroyed every Technical we've managed to capture and you just crush one without a second thought! We don't need you to start doing it too."

"My bad. Well, I got a vanilla technical in the shop and most of the parts we need. Just gotta doll it up with some more bandit trimmin's. spikes, blood, skulls, that kinda thing. You could probably scavenge that stuff from the bandit patrols around here."

Gaige suddenly grabs Kai outstretched arm with her robot arm and twisted it forcing him into a painful arm lock. "OW! OW! OW! OKAY, OKAY! UNCLE! UNCLE!" He said as he dropped his ECHO which Gaige quickly snagged. "Damn that hurt. So we just need to go back out and destroy a few bandits trucks, sounds easy enough. How long will it take you to get the Technical ready once you got the parts Ellie?"

"Weeeeell, about ten to twelve hours."

". . . Seriously? Will be here all night! It already six." Salvador yelled.

"I should also mention that my fast-travel station started updating about an hour ago. And yall know what that means." This earned a lot of groans from the more talkative members of the Vault Hunters.

"Great it'll take thirty hours at least for that thing to rest. Will have to drive back to the dam." Axton yelled in frustration.

"No sense in complaining about it now, let's go." Maya said.

"Actually, Kai could you maybe do another job for me." Ellie asked.

Kai turned back to Ellie with an inquisitive look. "That depends, what is it, how long will it take, and who or what do I have to kill?"

"Well it a payback job for my new assistant, Logging, he's over by the garage and can give you all the details ."

Kai thought about it and then shrugged. "Why not. Gaige should probably come too."

"And why are you volunteering me for a job?" Gaige said as she hands back his ECHO, which was cleared of the photos.

"Call it training, after all, you're still the greenest fighter here."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Axton said.

"The rebel makes a point / training will help her grow stronger / it will straighten her resolve." Zer0 said.

"Well if Zer0 thinks it a good idea then I'm okay with going." Gaige said making Axton sigh in defeat.

"Oh come on! You listen to the ninja but not me!" Axton said as he jumped in his Runner.

As the others left, Kai and Gaige both walked over to the garage and saw a man in mostly black with a helmet and pilot oxygen mask on. "Would you be Logging?

The man looked at the teens and seemed to scuff at them. "Yeah, what's it to you."

"Ugh, Ellie said you have a job."

He seemed taken aback for a second. "Oh, my mistake man."

"No problem, so what the job?"

"I'm in the danger zone, man. My buddies at Goose's Roost kicked me outta their buzzard squad, and now they're celebratin' with a round of psycho head volleyball. I want you to steal their balls, and burn their net!"

Kai and Gaige both arch an eyebrow at this. "Okay… we'll just be going then." Kai said.

About thirty minutes later the young Vault Hunters were parked below the plateau where the bandit camp was located. "Any ideas on how to get up there, because DT can't float that high."

Kai looked around until he noticed something. A cheeky grin appeared on his face. "Oh, I may have an idea."

[ 2 minutes later ]

"KAI YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!" Gaige screamed as their Runner raced up the side of a rock spire while Kai was laughing. Just before the end of the spire, Kai hit the engine booster which rocketed the car off the edge. Gaige was screaming at the top of her lungs as they fell towards the plateau. Several seconds later they landed and bounced into the air again and then landed on top of one of the Buzzard launch towers that were scattered around the camp.

A woozy Gaige climbs out of the turret and slid off the side of the Runner. "I think I'm gonna hurl again."

"This is nothing, try jumping off a cliff while several Bandit Technicals chasing you, all the while their launching burning saw blades and explosive barrels at you." Kai said with a fond grin.

Before Gaige could retort the silo doors began to open only to suddenly halt as they got caught on the runner.

"Hey Squid Eyes! The door won't open." The teens heard someone yell below them.

"Then fix it already StinkLips!"

"But something is covering it!"

Kai motioned Gaige to pass him a grenade, quickly she pulled out a cryo grenade and tossed it to him as he pulled his Vladof Tesla. He quickly opened pulled both pins and dropped the grenades into the opening, then he quickly jumped off the silo as the teens run.

"Hey Squid Eyes, look, pineapples!"

"What's a pineapple!?"

A second later there was a large blast of fire, electricity, and ice that spewed from the top of the silo and also caused the already damage Runner to explode as well. "Why did you just do that!"

"That a Buzzard tower, those aircraft I was telling you about, they store them and launch them from there. So each one we destroy helps us out."

"Okay, but you also destroyed our ride." She said as she pointed to the now fiery scrap pile that was a Runner.

Before Kai could answer his ECHO activated. " _You're in the camp?_ " Loggins asked.

"Yeah, we just blew up one of the Buzzard silos, some guys named Squid Eyes and Stinklip."

" _HA HA! You really are a cowboy. Now snag those volleyballs and get some jet fuel!_ "

"Okay, how hard can it be to find a few Volleyballs and jet fuel on an airbase?" Gaige asked.

[20 Minutes later]

"YOU JUST HAD TO SAY IT GAIGE!" Kai yelled as another Buzzard barely missed them on a strafing run.

"OKAY, I GET IT ALREADY! GET DOWN!" Gaige yelled as she pulled Kai back by his jacket as several Torgue gyrojet rounds knife through the space he had occupied a second earlier, followed by machine gun fire.

"Thanks." He said as he got back up to look for the source of the fire. He saw a large buff shirtless guy with a crew cut, camo pants, rusted dog tags, and aviator sunglasses with a Torgue spinigun in hand, and a random Marauder next to him. Before either teen could shoot back a wooden wall next to them burst open as Hati in full battle mode flew out and tackled the shirtless dude to the ground with a snarl. Hati then viciously bite down on the man's throat and immediately pulled back, which completely ripped it apart in a spurt of blood. Before the Marauder next to him could react Hati attacked him. "Good boy Hati!" Kai yelled.

"DANGER ZOOOONE!" Yelled two Shirtless guys armed with large wrenches as they jumped over their cover. Kai immediately dropped his gun and activated his right Holo blade to block a wrench swung at him. Then in a swift motion, Kai brought his other arm up and around and activates his other blade just before he slices through the guys right arm.

The buff bandit screamed in terror for a moment until Kai twisted around and used his momentum to slash the guy's chest open, effectively killing him.

As for Gaige, her bandit had kicked her, knocking her assault rifle out her hands. She quickly recovered and threw a punch with her robot arm, however, the guy managed to not only dodge the attack, but quickly grabbed her arm effectively rendering her defenseless, and lifted her off the ground. "LET GO OF ME ASSHOLE! I SWEAR YOU'LL REGRET IT!" Gaige yelled as she tried punching with her right normal arm.

"Ha ha ha, that cute. She thinks she's tough, isn't that funny Dogman… Dogma-GA ACK, CAAA!" The guy gagged as a glowing blood-covered light blade shot out of his mouth. Gaige, who had been mostly desensitized by such scenes was still shocked by what just happened.

Kai step to the side while still having his blade jammed through the guy's neck, just left of the spine. "Ok, Mr… whatever your name is, I want you to let go of my friend or else you lose your head."

Immediately the guy dropped Gaige who fell to the ground. "Good." Kai suddenly twisted the blade a sharp ninety degrees as there was a sharp *CRACK* as the buff bandit's body went limp. Kai deactivates his blade which caused the body to just fall to the ground as he held his hand out to help Gaige. "You okay?"

"I just got to say, that was badass as hell… If not a little scary."

"Sorry about-" *BOOM* They both ducked as the Buzzard flew by again. A second later several more bandits started firing from the other side of the camp. Gaige picks up her Ol' Painful and started spraying red lasers at the remaining bandits. As Gaige was covering them Kai quickly opened his inventory and swapped out a weapon. When he closed it a Vladof rocket launcher appeared in his hands. He waited as the buzzard slowed to come back around for another pass. When it finally did Kai fired two rockets. The first missed, but the second one nailed its left engine and exploded, sending the Buzzard into a flat spin as it flew over. It eventually flew out of sight, but a resounding explosion told him that it had crashed and burned.

Before Kai could do anything else Gaige yelled."Out of grenades." He looked to see there were still three bandits hiding behind cover still. He pulled out a Tesla grenade and chucked it between the Bandits, a second later there was a pop as the grenade deployed as the three bandits were being fried where they stood. Two just fell over dead while the last one began to disintegrate until there was nothing left but his gun. Kai checked his HUDs minimap and saw there were no more enemies nearby. The only movement was Hati who was walking back to them.

"You good?" Kai asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." Gaige answered.

"You Know, I got to ask, but why didn't you use DT?"

"I already deployed him."

"So then where is he?"

[ Fifty Meters away and to _Rob Zombie_ \- _Dragula_ (Start about 0:50) ]

"NO! NO! NO! AAAH!" A bandit screamed as DT slashed the guy's chest open with his claws. He then grabbed a nearby Psycho and ripped his head off before crushing it in his hand. DT then started spinning around rapidly with both his arms stretched out with his digistruct claws and diced several more Psycho's and bandits that had charged him.

[End song, back to the Teens]

"Don't know… So did we get them all?"

"DANGER ZOOONE!" Yelled a Buff Marauder as he ran from around a building, he was shooting wildly into the air with a Tediore pistol. Kai didn't even flinch to this as he whipped out his Jakob Leather Revolver and shot at the Marauder straight in the chest without looking and knocking the guy straight on his ass... Only the guy got back up three seconds later.

"He's not dead." Gaige said nonchalantly.

Kai looked at the guy in surprise. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He put both hands on the grip and unloaded the revolver into the guy, however, this didn't even finish the bandit off. "Oh for crying out loud." He picked up the Fast Talker he had dropped and unload about half of the mags into the guy before he finally went down.

"And you're back to sucking." Gaige said with a smirk causing Hati to snicker while Kai's ego seemed to deflate.

He pulled out the revolver again and looked it over. "It's just not the same." Kai said as he marked the weapon as trash and throw it back into his inventory.

"Why do you go through so may sidearms anyways?"

"I used to have an old two shot Jakob revolver before I got here which I had used for years. However I happened to leave it at the base before I left, so now I keep trying to find a replacement. However, nothing seems to fit. They're either too weak or to inaccurate for me." Kai said with a sigh. "Damn I miss that gun."

Just then their ECHO's came on as Loggins made his presence known. "Woah! You guys really splashed those suckers, yeah! Come on back!"

"Well, before we leave, I'm going to look around and collect some loot." Gaige said happily.

As Gaige went looking for any loot Kai just walked around to see if there was anything useful. As he passed by another set of shacks he noticed a red Dahl chest sitting between the buildings. He walked over to the chest and activated it, After several seconds the chest lid and various shelfs opened up. "Woah!" was all Kai could say. This quickly caught Gaige's attention.

"What? Did you find something?" She asked as she walked over.

"Yeah, you could say that." Kai said as she finally reached him.

"Well, what is- Woah." Gaige said as they both looked upon the chest content. While everything else was just green weapons, there was one item that stood out from the rest. A legendary laser, with all stock Tediore parts, minus the scope which was a Maliwan. It was painted a light forest green with a dull red trim with various writings on it. Finally, there was the classic white Tediore name painted on the side of the barrel in large letters. The stat card that came up identified it as a Min Min Lighter.

"That is so cool… What does it do?"

"I have absolutely no idea." Kai said as he picked it up. He pulled out a power cell and slapped it in to receive a slight hum from the weapon. "Okay, now we just need a target."

"DUCK, NOOOO!" They both looked to see a Psycho that they had seemed to miss as he seemed to be panicking near one of the shirtless dudes they had burned. "He was so young! Full of heart and passion for the skies above."

As he continued to monologue Kai shouldered the laser. "Well, that convenient."

"Wait!? You're not seriously considering blasting the guy when he's down like this!? He actually sounds more human than-"

Before she could finish the Psycho screamed. "WE STILL HAD TO DIVE BOMB THAT ORPHANAGE!"

Kai looked to Gaige. "You were-"

"Iretractmypreviousstatement!" She quickly cut him off.

Kai just shrugged and then fired. A light blue ball of energy flew out of the barrel… At a very underwhelming speed. Even the Psycho was able to see it and walk to the left to get out of it way. Of course, as it passed him it did let off several electrical arcs that hurt the Psycho and made him scream out "Ouchie-wowchies!" But the round just floated by bounced off a metal wall and flew several more meters until it popped in a small electrical burst.

Gaige looked to Kai and then to the lightly damaged psycho. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! THAT WAS SO PATHETIC IT MAKES CLAPTRAP LOOK LIKE A REAL THREAT!"

"Uh, Gaige, I hate to tell you this but Claptrap is a threat. An accident prone threat." Kai said.

"You know what I meant!" Gaige snapped back.

The bandit took this chance and started charging the Vault Hunters. "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M CHARGING AT YOU!"

Kai started firing as fast as he could, only to discover to his dismay that the weapon had an abysmal fire rate. After several shots the Kai realized it he wasn't doing jack, so as with any Tediore weapon, when in doubt, throw it. He threw the rifle with all his might and managed to peg the Psycho in the chest where it exploded in a large electrical burst. However, when it cleared it revealed that the Psycho was still standing. "TINGLY!"

The laser respawned in Kai's hand while Gaige just rolled her eyes and pulled out her Rogue Smuggler. With one quick well-aimed burst, two slugs were placed into the Psycho head, instantly killing him.

Kai looked at the Legendary weapon with disgust. "What a piece of fucking crap! It shoots slower than a slingshot, eats ammo like a starving pig, and can't even kill a single damn PSYCHO!" He yelled as tossed it with all his might with the reload function off. As Kai kept cursing out the designer, Hati decided to go retrieve the laser, as he knew Kai would regret wasting valu- . . . Semi-valuable parts.

After several minutes of looking the wolf found the weapon near the stone hill that the camp wrapped around. Only that wasn't the only thing he found. Letting out a long howl Hati grabbed both Kai and Gaige's attention, as they soon ran over. "Hey what is- oooh no. We are not keeping that piece of crap." Kai said pointing at the Min Min Lighter.

"I don't think that why he called us." Gaige said as she looked at what Hati was looking at. Kai turned to see a carved stone archway that leads into the rock face, it had ancient carvings that seemed to depict several battles. The teens glanced at each other and then back to the tunnel. "You go first." Gaige said.

"What?"

"You, go, first."

"What, afraid of the dark?" Kai asked mockingly.

"No, but I am weary of a spooky ancient tomb with Murphy knows what in inside."

"Who's Murphy?" Kai asked only for Gaige go just shrug. "But seriously, you have a floating killbot that can spawn out of your arm. Why would you be afraid?"

"Just go already!" Gaige said giving Kai a small shove. Kai quickly caught his balance, then slowly began treading into the tunnel with Gaige and Hati following. It went on for about fifty meters until they came to a circular ornate hull. Hati increased his power in order to light the room. There were even more etching in the stone walls which depicted warriors, kings, dragons, and more. They all walked in to get a better look, but when their feet touched the first step on the platform there was a flash.

When the group could see again they found lit torches on the wall, they could see the outer walls had several statues of old kings encircling the room. And in the middle of the room under a shaft of light was a stone pedestal that had a carved dragon with ruby eyes twisting around it. And sticking out of the top of the pedestal was a beautiful long sword with a gem-encrusted pommel.

"Woah." The teens said in tandem as they stared.

Without any other warning, a deep and ancient voice filled the room. " _Who dares enter the Hull of Greatness. Home of the greatest weapon the world has ever known and forged by the great wizard council. Held by heroes and kings who-_ "

As the voice continued Kai quietly spoke up, "Well this is new."

"You've been saying that a lot today."

"It Pandora, there a new surprise around every corner."

" _SILENCE! Do thou not seek the sword EXCALIBUR! The greatest weapon to ever be wielded by man! Capable of tearing any shield or armor asunder, to freeze all who touch it! To leave any. . . . Are you two even listening_?" The voice asks as Kai was looking over the Laser rifle while Gaige had started cleaning out the sand between her robot fingers.

"Yeeeeah, as interesting as this sword sounds it just doesn't compare to a gun, or an AI companion. Plus, when it comes to melee Gaige has her super-strength robot arm and I have these." Kai active the hard light blade on his left hand.

" _What!? How did you do that? I sense no magic in you_."

"It's called technology, and anyone can use it with the right understanding." Gaige said.

. . . " _This is all very strange_."

"You do have to admit this whole situation is the strangest thing we've ever come across." Gaige said.

"Not for me."

"Really?" Gaige asked curiously. "Then what is?"

Kai took a thinking posture. "Well…"

**X-X-X**

**-four months ago-**

In the middle of nowhere, there was a cobbled-together outdoor amphitheater. On the stage where dozens of Psychos, Marauders, Psycho Midgets and a Goliath all dressed in costumes representing inanimate objects, such as feather duster, a wood clock, forks and knives, a candlestick, and the Goliath as a teapot. All of who were dancing and singing in tune.

_"Be our guest"_

_"Be our guest"_

_"Our command is your request"_

_"It's ten years since we had anybody here"_

_"And we're obsessed"_

_"With your meal"_

_"With your ease"_

_"Yes, indeed, we aim to please"_

_"While the candlelight's still glowing"_

_"Let us help you"_

_"We'll keep going"_

_"Course by course"_

_"One by one"_

_"'Til you shout, enough, I'm done"_

_"Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest"_

_"Tonight you'll prop your feet up"_

_"But for now, let's eat up"_

_"Be our guest"_

_"Be our guest"_

_"Be our guest"_

_"Please, be our guest_!"

All the bandits bunch up at the middle of the stage with the Psycho in the candlestick costume in the front.

At the top of a small hill facing the stage Reiss, Kai and Hati were all staring at the sight in front of them with different expressions. Kai was dumbstruck and had a visible twitch in his right eye. Reiss who actually had his helmet off and held under his right arm had a more focused look on his face. As for Hati, he seemed to be fairly happy as his tail was wagging so fast it left a glowing afterimage in its wake.

". . . I wonder where they got the costumes?" Reiss quietly ask just as Kai lost it.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"

**X-X-X**

[BACK TO PRESENT]

Gaige and the voice were both quiet as Gaige stared at Kai.

. . . "Seriously!?/ _Seriously!?_ "

"I was just as surprised as you… If not more." Kai said.

" _ENOUGH NONSENSE! Do thou not understand what is going on! Why are thou knights here if not for the great sword, the most powerful weapon on Earth!_ "

". . . Earth? Where on Pandora man." Kai said.

" _I… Wait, Pandora?_ "

"Yeah, it's second most dangerous planet after Promithia." Gaige said stepping forward.

" _But, but how? The chamber should have been teleported. . . OH, THAT SENILE BUFFOON! HE WAS DRUNK SPELLCASTING AGAIN! . . . I guess that explains why no one found this place for so long. What year is it anyway?_ "

"It's 2874." Kai stated.

" _...Oh zounds. Give me a moment._ "

The teens waited for about a minute until the Voice spoke again. "This is inconceivable, the mystic aether is dark, I can't seem to contact any other great mystics… Wait, there a message here."

What sounded like an answering machine beep was suddenly heard as another voice filled the room." _Hey guys, its me the Mystic supreme of the Mist. Anyways I'm just leaving this message to inform any guardians or sentient relics that me and the other wizards are leaving and going to the dimensional plains of Enoxis. Big party were having for a few thousand years. Vlapan is making his thousand-year drunk potion! If you can make it come along, as for you guys still guarding your items or what not… Well, good luck to you. Later~. Hey Duleas, how about I show you a "real" wand!_ " There was then the sound of a phone being cut off which was quickly followed by silence in the room for about a minute.

"Well, that was a dick move." Kai said with Gaige nodding in agreement.

"And I didn't need to hear that last part." Gaige said with a look of disgust.

" _Actually this isn't that surprising. Those Wizards were always a bit loopy, and I've just spent the last TWO THOUSAND YEARS GUARDING A BLOODY SWORD THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS THANKS TO THEM!_ " After a few seconds, the voice gives a sigh. " _Well, there's no one else I can detect, although I'm picking up something called the. . . ECHOnet?_ "

"Oh, that a large database that spans the six galaxies."

" _Six galaxies? What's a galaxy?_ "

"Oh man, you've got a lot of catching up to do." Gaige said.

The next half hour consisted of the two teens give the voice a rundown of how to use the ECHOnet and a brief summary of human history over the last thousand years. " _So let me get this straight. Humans have not only traveled to the stars but have also conquered six of these. . . Galaxies, and now fight wars with guns?_ "

"Yup." Gaige said.

" _And you two are_ -"

"Badass Vault Hunters." Kai replied.

" _Wait, what is a badass?_ "

"Someone or something that is insanely strong or powerful who also does really awesome feat's. Like killing a Psycho with their bare hands." Kai said.

"Snipping a large Bullymong off a cliffside." Gaige followed up.

"Walking away slowly as an explosion is going off behind you without looking back!"

"Oh classic! How about saying an epic one-liner before the kill like, "It's been revoked", or "Hasta la vista, baby!" Gaige said in an as masculine voice she could.

"Good one, what about fighting super evil villains bent on world domination or total destruction."

"I guess, but that can be a broad category. Plus it not explicitly needed."

"That true… But Handsome Jack does count for that in our case." Kai quickly retorted.

"Pfft, without question."

" _Okay, okay, you've made your point. So you Vault Hunters are like knights in this day and age._ "

"The teens looked at each other for a few seconds till the looked back at the sword alter since that seemed to be the only thing to for them to look at when the voice talked.

"I guess you could say that, I mean we're both fighting against a form of evil to protect people. . . I guess you could say we do a little bit of good and a little bit of bad." Kai said. "Oh and none of that over the top chivalry crap. That not a thing anymore."

" _Hmm, I see. And you go on these quests to find the Vaults?_ "

"As well as kill alien creatures, fight bandits, take down evil mega-corporations. That sort of stuff." Gaige said as Kai casually check his ECHO.

"Oh look at the time. Well, we better get going. We have to find a way back to our friends since our ride was destroyed."

"By your doing." Gaige muttered.

"Like we were going to get that Runner off of the silo anyways, let alone the cliff."

"Whatever, let's just go, I'm getting hungry."

" _Wait! You are not even going to try and pull the sword? It's an excellent weapon_." The voice said.

They looked back to the pedestal. "Why are you so interested in us trying to take the sword?" Kai asked.

" _Because it's your destiny!_ "

. . .

" _Uh, isn't thou at least interested in trying. . . To see if you are worthy?_ "

. . .

" _Alright, fine! I'm basically trapped here, with nothing to do until someone worthy enough is able to pull the sword out of the stone. Then I can see what they do throughout their life until they died, and then the process repeats. It was enjoyable the first few times but after you've seen several great heroes become kings, or free their people, things get boring. Course, it the only thing I have so. . ._ "

"Ahh, boredom, our generation's mortal enemy." Kai said.

"Well, you do have access to the ECHOnet now, so that should keep you more entertained." Gaige added.

" _I guess, but I still need to pass the great weapon on_."

"And again were not interested in swords. I mean, why would we use one when we have guns that can shoot dozens of round per second or rifles that shoot fire lasers, lightning bolts, or acid." Kai said.

" _Hmm… What of the weapon in your hand young sir_."

Kai looked at the Min Min Lighter. "This thing, well it is technically classified as a legendary weapon, but from what we've seen it nothing but a piece of junk. Worst laser weapon ever."

" _And you both desire one of these laser weapons?_ "

"It be cool." Gaige said.

" _Hmm, let me see… Ah HA!_ "

There was a flash of light from the sword that blinded them for several seconds when they could finally see they found the sword replaced with a new weapon. The weapon still had a blade on it only now it looked like a machete. Going up from there the weapon had a Hyperion railgun design (All Hyperion parts) and had a metallic steel blue finish. It was also noticed that the barrel was giving off a cold mist. The biggest thing they both noticed was the orange rarity marker coming from the weapon. They both observed the weapon for several more seconds until Gaige shouted out. "I CALL DIBS!"

"I SAW IT FIRST!"

"YOU ALREADY GOT ONE!"

"THE MIN DOESN'T COUNT!" Kai yelled as they both pushed and shoved each other as they raced towards the weapon. Gaige gave Kai a shove with her robot arm forcing him out of the way.

"IT'S MINE NOW!" She was about to reach the top step when she felt a tug on her skirt, she immediately stopped and looked behind to see Hati holding the back of her skirt in his mouth. Gaige had to grab her belt to prevent it from falling. "Oh, that is SO LOW!" She yelled in anger as Kai walked past.

"Losers weepers."

Kai was close enough to now see the weapon card to see the weapon was named the Excalibastard. He grabbed the grip of the gun and gave it a good tug up. It didn't budge. He gave it another, and another, until finally, he was pulling it with both hands and all his might, yet it never gave. "What the hell, it did even budge an ACK!?" Kai yelled in surprise as Gaige shoved him aside.

"MY TURN! Leave it to a woman to get the job done." Gaige said as she rubbed her hands together before she grabbed it with her robot arm. She started pulling and as before nothing happened. This repeated several times until she finally tried to plant her feet on either side of the weapon and put her whole body into it. After several seconds of this her hands slipped and Gaige was launched back several meters on to the stone floor.

"Oww… What the hell mysterious voice!? Why can't we pull it out!"

" _I was afraid of this. You both are not… I guess the term now would be Badass enough to pull the weapon out_."

"Okay, Gaige I can understand since she only been at this for a month."

"HEY!"

"But how am I not badass enough. I've been fighting almost five years now! So what hell… actually, now that I think about it, we never got your name?"

" _I am the Great Enchanted Frost Per-_ "

"AH, AH! No crazy titles!" Gaige butted in.

" _Umm, I don't have such a name._ "

". . . Okay, we're just gonna call you. . . Sam." Gaige said.

" _I don't know if_ -."

"Sam it is! Anyways, so why can't we pull the gun?" Kai asked.

" _Originally the great weapon only the purest of heart remove it from the stone. Someone righteous and just, however with how thou described the world as it is today it was decided to… Change the requirements to one badass enough_."

"Wait a minute, you decided to change the requirements or the weapon decided to?" Kai asked.

" _The weapon has a pre-ordained directive to seek the purest being. In this case the purist badass_."

"Soooo, we just need to get more badass. How hard can that be." Gaige said.

" _Well, I've actually already prepared for that. I found this Badass points system in your ECHO device and have already repurposed it so anyone with this program will have all badass things they do automatically tracked. It should take about ten thousand badass points for either of you to pull the gun from the stone._ "

"Ten thousand, pfft! We're already three fourths the way there. That will be easy." Gaige said as Kai nodded in agreement. After Gaige had joined Sanctuary, the Teens had been racking up the point between each other so the score now stood at Gaige 7832, and Kai at 7841. With those numbers in mind the two teens were grinning in anticipation at the challenge. 'This is gonna be easy!/This is gonna be easy!' they both thought.

" _About that… I've had to clear all your previous points_."

"... YOU'VE WHAT/YOU'VE WHAT!?" They both yelled at the top of their lungs.

Gaige slowly slumped to her knees as she started to mumble, "My points… All of my points… Gone."

"WHAT THE HELL SAM! WHY WOULD YOU CLEAR OUR SCORE!

" _Let me ask you, how did you acquire most of those points. Was it through honored combat, or child games_." Both teens were silent at his accusation. " _I rest my case. I will, however, give you each about two hundred points to start since you good sir and fair maiden did manage to find this place._ "

"Yaaaay/Yaaaay." The two teens lazily cheered.

" _I'm sorry, but you both will have to prove your selves in order to hold the great weapon. So go forth and be as badass as you can. Now leave, I have a lot to do._ "

Gaige took this moment point towards the laser. "Now wait just a minute buster! I'm not leaving until you give me back all-." But before she could finish a great wind blasted the Vault Hunters as they were picked up and thrown from the chamber.

It was silent for a few moments until Sam sighed. " _Well now that that's over, I need to make some calls_."

The sound of a dial tone could be heard followed by a ringtone for several seconds till Sam got an answer. " _Grand protector of the solar flame… Yes, it is I. . . no no, it's still under my guard for now. About that though, we may have a situation that the other guards might not be aware of_."

Outside of the cave, the sound of screaming could be heard as both Teens and the wolf were thrown out of the cave before a large stone door came down and closes it shut. Gaige gets up and turns to the entrance. "ALL OF MY HATE! YOU HEAR ME! ALL OF IT!"

"Well, that was interesting." Kai said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Well, we might as well head back." As he started to walk off.

"How? You blew up our ride, remember." Gaige said causing Kai to stop in his tracks. He just stood there for several seconds in thought as he glances around until his eyes settled on something on nearby causing him to slowly grin.

"I think I have an idea."

{Back at Ellie's Garage]

"See, I told you it would be easy to get the parts." Ellie said.

The five tired Vault Hunters glared at Eille as they were anything but happy with that statement as their Runners behind showed their troubles. Zer0's and Salvador Runner was riddled with bullet holes from front to back. Maya and Krieg's was scorched and had dozens of saw blades sticking out of it. Finally, Axton's Runner was a combination of the previous two and was on fire still.

"Yeah. Right. Easy as fucking pie." Axton said as his Runner exploded in a fireball behind him without his care. "Hey, where's Gaige and Kai?"

"Haven't gotten back yet."

"I talked with them a good bit ago. They finished up the job so they should have been back man." Loggins said as he picked through the parts.

"I knew she shouldn't have gone off with him." Axton mumbled. "Alright, let spawn a few new Runners and go look for them."

"Oh relax amigo. She's fine, she a tough kid." Sal said.

"Besides, the two might be having some alone time." Maya said with a sly smirk as she insinuated the thought, causing Axton to groan. It hadn't gone unnoticed by everyone that Axton had sort of developed a big brother relationship with Gaige. Of course, this made Axton a little dubious about her hanging out with Kai. And made it all the more fun for the others to tease him.

"Aw come on Ax, they're probably just looting the place." Sal said.

"I still say we go out and look for them."

Before the argument could continue the sound of an engine slowly started to fill the air. "BUZZARD!" Loggins yelled as he dropped the parts and pointed to a lone aircraft heading towards them.

The Vault Hunters all pulled out their guns and took aim, but then Zer0 yelled, "Hold it!" Everyone looked at him like he was crazy until they each began to hear something over the noise of the buzzard.

"Slow down already!"

"It's fine."

"Where are you going! Turn left!"

"Oi! No back seat driving!"

"I'm not in the back… Woah, woah, PULL UP! PULL UP!"

"SCATTER!" Axton yelled causing everyone to run just before the Buzzard hit the ground. It bounced and came down again and slide about fifteen meters cutting a deep rut in the ground before coming to a stop. Everyone looked at the downed aircraft as they heard movement.

"You did that on purpose!" Gaige yelled.

"We were fine." Kai said.

"Not the point! That's the second time today you've taken me on a batshit insane ride!" Gaige yelled as she walked out from behind the wreckage.

"Well you have to admit, it was fun and badass… And look we both got ten Badass points out of it." Showing the points on his ECHO.

"Where the hell have you been?" Axton inquired. "You both should have beaten us back here, and what's with the Buzzard!?"

"Kai crashed the Runner and blew it up along with a Buzzard tower. So we after we finished we stole this buzzard to get back. Oh and we also found this cave that contains a legendary weapon stuck in a stone and a disembodied voice told us that only a pure badass can pull out the weapon. So now we have to earn ten thousand Badass points in order to pull said weapon from the stone."

Everyone stared at them in suspicion. "I call stalker shit on that." Logging said as he said what everyone else was thinking.

"What, it's true!" Gaige said.

Axton just shook his head in frustration. "Screw it, let's just go eat. I've had a crazy enough day already and I don't need anymore." Axton said as he turned and walked away.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

[1 Hour Later]

Everyone had finally gotten something to eat and were now doing their own things. Maya was meditating, while Krieg kept an eye on her from a distance. Axton was somewhere setting up a hammock. Zer0 and Sal were cleaning their weapons. As for Kai, Gaige wasn't sure where he was. It took her about ten minutes to finally find him up on top of the roof of the garage. From what she could see, he had disassembled the Min Min Lighter and was attempting to understand it's mechanics.

"Hey."

Kai looked up in surprise until he realized who was there. "Oh hey, Gaige."

"What are you doing with that gun."

"Trying to get an understanding of how it works. I've have only managed to get my hands on a few lasers, so it's a weapon type that I have very little understanding of there inner workings." He said as Gaige took a seat against the wall next to him.

"I would have figured it would have been more than that." Gaige said.

"Ha, not really, the first time I got to take a crack at a laser was with my mentor when I was thirteen. Someone from unit four had managed to scavenge an early version of a Hyperion railgun laser. Anyways, we had started to work on it to see how it worked and if there was anything we could use from it. However, we barely got the access plate off before we accidentally crossed a capacitor with another wire and the damn thing started to overload the power pack. It would have blown up in our faces if Mr. Dixon hadn't chucked it out a window in time." He chuckled.

"Who's Mr. Dixon?"

"He was my mentor, the man taught me almost every I know about weapons smithing. He was also the one who built my Clementine, gave it to me as a gift." He said fondly as he picked up said rifle next to him.

"Sounds like you miss him."

"Yeah, he was like a grandfather in many ways… A grandfather who could shot a flea off the back of a running Skag at eight hundred meters."

"Daaaamn, I would have loved to see that... Did he also…" Gaige started to imply.

"Died during the attack on Polaris?" Kai finished as Gaige nodded. "No, he died several months before the razing of old age. He was one of the few that have actually been buried in the last ten years of the rebellion."

This caused Gaige to furrowed her brow as she thought about what he said. "Wait, I thought you said your mentor died during the crash landing here on Pandora, how could he have died then and before the attack on Polaris?"

"Oh, right. I sort of had two mentors. There was first, Dixon who had taught me everything I know about weapons, and cared for me as my mom continued to support the rebels. Then there was Col. Ryet who trained me as a fighter and I would often accompany him out into the field."

"Soooo, one was like your teacher and the other a drill instructor?"

Kai was silent for several seconds as he stopped working on the laser. "Drill instructor would be an understatement for Ryet, but yeah. That's basically it."

"What about the rest of your family?"

Kai sat his rifle down and lend back against the wall as he stared up into the night sky. "All dead, I never really knew my grandparents but from what mom told me neither side seem to like the other. I also had an aunt and uncle with a little cousin, she was about five or six years younger than me. . . Unfortunately, we believe they were all killed on Anchorage Four, one of several orbital mining platforms Hyperion attacked and destroyed early on."

"And your parents? How did they..."

"Die? Well as I've told you, my dad died when I was nine. He… He was part of the initial group of protestors that fought for our right to stay independent. He was always like that, a firm believer in freedom and personal rights. However the Hyperion commander station there got fed up with the locals protest and ordered his troops to open fire on them. He stated that is was in defense against aggressive elements of our populace." He said with disdain. "My mom was working at a lab that was developing hard light technology, she made Hati at that lab."

"Speaking of, where is that wolf?" Gaige asked.

**X-X-X**

[ Playing: "Bodies" by Drowning Pool ]

In the music blasted garage below Ellie was laying underneath the Truck she was building while Hati was sitting next to a nearby toolbox.

"Socket wrench."

Hati grabs a wrench out of a toolbox by him with his jaw and passed it to Ellie waiting hand.

Ellie grabbed it and immediately sounds of tool work could be heard.

"Torch." *THOOOOOO*

"Hyperspanner." *BZZZZZT, TINK*

"Baloney sandwich."

Hati ran over to a nearby cooler and knocked the lid off with his nose. He then grabbed a wrapped parcel out if it and ran it back to Ellies waiting hand was. The sounds of her gobbling down the sandwich for several second until a resounding belch came from beneath the truck. "That was awesome. Thanks boy."

WOOF*

**X-X-X**

"Okay… Anyways, you were saying about your mom."

"Right, well she was part of a hard light research team that was studying practical uses for the technology. As I stated before she developed Hati as a pet for me, she pitched it to her boss as "the perfect pet for every child as it doesn't eat, doesn't shed, and doesn't pee or poop." The company saw the marketing potential as the kid got a pet, and parents don't end up with a mess or allergies."

"That actually sounds like a good idea."

"Of course after the massacre, my mom began to make Hati more combat capable as a way to protect me. During one of the early test run several Hyperion goons tried to seize the lab. . . That mutt killed seven armed and trained Hyperion soldiers in a minute. So since then she and her colleagues have been building combat holograms for our troops. Most were just basic wolves, copies based on Hati's core program, but she made all kinds custom variants, Lions, bears, snakes, gorillas. . . Even a dragon." He muttered the last part.

"And she also died during the attack… Are you sure, maybe she-"

"No… I know she did."

"How can you be sure though?"

Kai looked Gaige straight in the eyes. "Because I saw her dying." Kai said.

**_ ~Flashback - 5 months before.- _ **

Ryet and Kai were staring out the window at the planet bellow as they watched the explosions die down leaving a purple pinkish cloud of unknown gas spread across the surface of the planet at each impact site. "What the hell?! Is that a bioweapon?" Kai asked the old warrior.

"I don't think so." Ryet muttered.

Before Kai could ask there was a beep for the comm system. " _Shadow Star, come in. Repeat, Shadow Star come in. Kai are you there?"_ Came a female voice that Kai immediately recognized.

"Mom!? Mom, what your stats, what going on down there?"

An image appeared on the screen of a woman who appeared to be in her early fifties. She had shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes. From what they could see she was wearing an old lab coat with a name tag that said Linda on it. "It's a radiation weapon, scanners are going crazy and levels are continuing to rise."

"Are you safe? Can you get to the bunker?"

" _It wouldn't matter, the bunker wasn't designed for this. And the radiation is already close to lethal levels and still rising! At this rate, we will only have minutes left, maybe even less_."

"Mom, just hang on, we're coming to get you!" Kai said with a panicked voice.

" _NO_!" Linda cut him off.

"But-"

"Ryet! As a mother, I order you to get my son away from here and keep him safe."

Ryet just stared at the screen for several seconds until he gave a nod and turned to the flight controls. "Of course Linda, warming the hyperdrive."

"Ryet, what are you doing!? We need to go help them!" Kai yelled as he turned to the man.

"And what would we do boy!" Ryet said, not looking back to You heard her, at the rate the radiation levels are rising, she be dead within the hour, we can't go back!"

"That insane! Do you just expect me to abandon her and everyone!"

Ryet continue to typing on the screen as he started plotting a hyperspace jump. "Colonel we can't just run!" Kai yelled as he moved to shutdown the hyperdrive. The next second Kai felt a fist contact his face which sent him flying to the back of the ship thanks to the low gravity. Kai rubbed his jaw only to look up and see Ryet standing over him with a cold glare.

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO! THAT IS ALL WE CAN DO! IF WE GO BACK NOW, WE WILL DIE! IF WE GO BACK THEN THERE NO ONE TO CARRY ON POLARIS'S MEMORY! IF WE GO BACK THEN HYPERION WINS AND EVERYONE WHO DIES WILL BE FORGOTTEN BY ALL THE GALAXIES!" Ryet yelled. EVEN IF WE WENT RIGHT NOW, WE WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH FUEL FOR ANOTHER EXIT BURN.

"But!"

"Kai." He looked over to the screen his mom was on. "It's already too late anyways. Radiation levels have already passed the lethal levels and are still rapidly raising." she said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Kai got up and stared at his mom. "But… mom."

"It's fine Kai. I've watched you grow up from my little baby into a fine man. As long as your safe, I can accept *cough* my fate." She started coughing some more and covered her mouth with a rag. When she pulled it away, everyone could see blood on it.

"Mom…" As this happens the ship sensors gave off an alert which Ryet immediately went to look at. "Der'mo, the cruiser has spotted us and are trying to move into weapons range!"

As Ryet quickly got back to preparing for the jump. Linda finally stopped coughing. "Listen to Ryet Kai, he'll know what to do and how to stay safe. And Hati, I know you're listening, so I want you to watch my boy *cough, cough* for me."

"Mom." Kai could tell that she was now really starting to feel the effects of the radiation on her body. But even with the growing pain, his mother still put on a caring motherly smile. Your father would be proud of you. Hm, you actually look just like him."

"Cruiser is attempting to get a lock on us, thirty seconds to jump!" Ryet yelled.

Kai was barely keeping it together at this point. "Mo-mom please, don't give up. There got to be something you can do. Modify a shield, uh grab one of the old Hyperion space suits the supply center has. Just don't leave me."

Coughing* "Kai, It's okay. You are more than ready for this. Just live a good life, that's *cough* all I ask… I love you Kai."

"Mom!" Before he could say anything else, the ship made the jump into hyperspace. This simultaneously cut off the connection leaving Kai staring at a blank screen. Slowly Kai slumped to the ground where he sat for several minutes. After a moment he finally yelled out as he punched the floor.

**_~Flashback Over~_ **

"Damn… That's… I really don't know what to say about that." Gaige said as she was now sitting next to Kai and was leaning her head into his left shoulder which Kai only just realized to his shock at her closeness. "How did you get over that?"

"Downed half a bottle of vodka, and knocked my ass into a three-day blackout. Then when we stopped for refueling at a way station I got most of my anger out by getting into a large brawl with a gang of space pirates."

Gaige lifted her head and just stared at him for several seconds. "That is the stupidest story you've ever come up with."

"It's true." Kai opened a pocket and fished out a small tin and opened it. inside were several old photos, he quickly pulled one out and handed it to Gaige. She gingerly took it and looked at it. To her shock, it was a selfie of an old man with a scar who looked happy yet still had that look that told her don't fuck with me or I'll shove something nasty somewhere that you won't like. Gaige guessed that this was Ryet but her attention was quickly drawn to what was behind him. There was a large dog pile of pirates all mangled and bruised black and blue. Laying at top of the pile was an equally bruised Kai who looked as if he would blackout any second. But even so, it appeared that he had enough strength to lift his head, smile and raise one triumphant fist in the air. Sitting next to him was Hati who had what appeared to be a bloody peg leg in his mouth.

Gaige stared at the photo for several more seconds. "What the actual fuck!?" She yelled.

"Language!" They both heard Axton yelled from below.

Gaige just ignored it and turn back to Kai. "So you took on over two dozen pirates by yourself?"

Kai rubbed the back of his head as he looked the other way since Gaige had moved her face close to his own. A little too close for comfort. "I was pissed. Besides, Hati took half of them." He said nervously as he put the photos away. He then sighed and lend back to stare up into the night sky. " Of course I didn't get everything out until recently."

"You mean when I beat the snot out of you and you cried like a baby." Gaige asked teasingly.

"Was there a reason why you came up here or was it to just screw with me?" Kai retorted with a hint of annoyance.

"Haha, sorry." Gaige smiled before she looked down. "I actually came to tell thanks for saving me. Twice today in fact."

"It was nothing, besides you saved me from getting nailed in the head by a gyro jet. Even with shields on, that would have sucked!"

"I don't know, that might have been an improvement." Gaige jabbed again with a grin.

"Screw you cyborg." Kai said half-heartedly which caused Gaige to laugh.

"Cyborg, really? Is that the best you got wolf boy." Gaige said.

"Now who's being unoriginal." Kai mumbled.

The teens soon lapsed into silence as Kai finished reassembling the Min Min Lighter. Once he finished he leaned back to watch the sky as Gaige eventually leans her head back on to his shoulder as they both stared into the night sky.

After several minutes of silence Kai spoke up. "Hey, Gaige."

"Yeah."

"You're smart and all, so I was wondering. When do you think that matter cloud that Matchbox left is gonna disappear?" Kai asked.

"Honestly, if it didn't dissipate by now, I don't think it ever will." Gaige answered as they both stared up at the newly formed yet oddly bird of prey shaped nebula that now hung in the sky above them.

"Well, at least it's cooler than that damn space station." Kai said as the teens resigned to watch the stars for the evening.

**X-X-X**

**-Bonus-**

**_Mini Torgue adventure!_ **

**_Chapter 1_ **

In the middle of space, a massive space truck with three connected trailers flew through the void of space. The truck section had a typical truck layout, only three times bigger and the front hood and grill had what looked like the front end of a P-51 mashed into it. In place of the wheels were a small set of wings with over under engines mounted on the ends. Painted on the side of it polished steel and checker pattern trimmed hull were the words "The Torgue-anought"

In the cab, was Mister Torgue who was looking over a fold up star map. "Uh, Mister Torgue?"

Mister Torgue looked over to the voice which belongs to a bullet themed mascot sitting in the passenger seat, Billy the Bullet. "Yes, Billy?"

"I'm, just wondering. Uh, why did you bring me along?" Billy hesitently asked as he fiddled with his gloved fingers nervously.

"Because Billy, you are a new member of the Torgue corporation, which means you need to learn about what we do."

It was silent for several seconds. "Ugh, which is?"

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS! BLOW F*CK*NG SH*T UP, DOING AWESOME AS, AND BEING AS F*CK*NG BADASS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AND BEYOND! Case and point, see that satellite over there." He pointed to a satellite that was randomly floating in space.

"Umm, yes?"

"WELL, THIS!" He yelled as he slammed his fist on a comically large button. The next second the headlights pop up and two missiles fired out which quickly flew towards the satellite. The impact resulted in a large fiery explosion that completely vaporized the satellite. "WAAAAHOOO! THAT WAS BADASS AND AWESOME!"

"You just blew up a sensor satellite! The local system needs that to watch for plasma storms!"

"Who cares, it not like anything important flys through here."

[ At that same moment ]

A random star transport was flying through the next sector over. Inside was a random no-name pilot who didn't have a care in the world. "Geewilliker! I love my job of transporting Boy band memorabilia to the revving masses of teenage girls. Oh, I better check the local sensor data from the satellite, and make sure it safe to go through here." He pulls up a screen only to see an indicator to come up showing that there was no signal from the satellite. "Hmm, I do not appear to be receiving any data from the satellite. This is very strange. . . Oh well, it's probably nothing. Now let's get these Boy band shirts and posters to those waiting hormonal driven teens."

Several seconds later a plasma storm struck the transport causing it to explode into a million fine particles, leaving nothing but a single Synced-Up t-shirt, and a pair of fuzzy dice.

[ **Back to The Torgue-anought** ]

"So then where are we going?" Billy asked

"Glad you asked Billy!"

"Um, my name isn't actually Billy sir."

"Whatever! I sensed a massive amount of badassery! We are going to that source of Badassery for it calls to me!"

"And where would that be?"

"I DON'T F*CKING KNOW!" Mister Torgue yelled before going back to looking over the map.

Billy just stared at Torgue for a moment until his ECHO beep, Billy took a look at it. "Huh, Space Cadet… Ten Badass points for traveling one whole lightyear. Awesome." Suddenly Billy was thrown forward into the window as the ship pulled a full stop. "...Ow." Billy was then suddenly peeled off of the window and tossed back into his seat.

"Repeat what you just said, because it sounded F*CKING AWESOME!" Torgue yelled into Billy's face.

"Uh, I got ten Badass points."

Mister Torgue leaned into Billy's face. "Tell me more."

[ **A ten-minute explanation later** ]

"So this kid Gaige, who built a floating anti-bully robot, cut off her own arm, then built a robotic replacement arm that also stores this robot, created a program to track your Badass rank and now after a sudden update it has over a thousand new challenges, but also auto tracks your achievements?" Torgue asked.

"Umm, yes."

"THAT IS AWESOME! I want to meet this little badass!"

"Well good luck with that, after accidentally killing her classmate she escaped and ran away to Pandora."

Torgue stared at the bullet themed mascot. "Uh, what?" Torgue continued to stare until he suddenly cried out, making Billy jump in surprise.

"I'M SO F*CKING STUPID!"

"What?"

"I should have thought of it before! That means we need to get our *ss to the single most badass place in all of the six galaxies!" Torgue said as he shifted the ship back into gear.

"Wait, you don't mean!?"

"That right! Next stop, PANDORA!" He yelled as he slammed the gas and the space truck rocketed back into the stars.


	12. Damned to hell

It was dark and early (Since it was the middle of Pandoran night) as the occupants of Ellie's garage began to stir. Axton walked into Ellie's kitchen to find everyone but the teens and Ellie there. "Mor-* _Yawn_ *-ning." Axton said as he walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup and then poured in the contents of a yellow container next to it. As he mixes the cup he looks around to see Loggins and Salvador were cooking. At the table, Maya was eating what looked like scrambled eggs as she read one of Hammerlock's old printed almanacs she had brought. Krieg was messing with his ECHO next to her while Zer0 was checking his sword's digistruct unit across from him. Axton finally finished stirring his coffee and then immediately took a swig of it only to stop and look down at the mug. "Why does this creamer taste like jet fuel?" Axton asked.

"Because that can of _creamer_ is jet fuel." Loggins said as he snatched the can out of Axton's hand.

Axton looked back to the mug and shrugged. "Eh, I've had worse." He said before he continued to drink. "Actually it reminds me of Merdock's antifreeze marinade, only without the partial paralalysis." That got a few raised eyebrows but nobody asked. It was several minutes till Axton asked. "So… Where's everyone else?"

"Well, Ellie's putting the final touches on your ride." Loggins said.

"Actually I just gawd darn finished." Said an oil and grease covered Ellie as she walked in with Hati next to her. "I just have to wait for the digistruct system to finish scanning it, and y'all be ready to go."

"Great… Also where is Red and the ruffian?"

"Don't know, offered my bed to the little redhead since I was gonna be busy all night, as for Kai… I don't really know."

"Well, we better go find and wake them. Come on Sal." Maya said as she got up. Sal hung his apron up and followed Maya, as did Hati. Ten minutes later the two Vault Hunter both came up with nothing they met up in a hallway. "Well I found some of her gear in Ellie's room but it looks like she didn't sleep there at all." Maya said. "Any luck with Kai?"

"Nah, I can't find him anywhere. Although..." Sal turned away from Maya. "he might know." He said as stared down the hall to where Hati was sitting by the stairs to the roof. So the two Vault Hunters followed the wolf to the roof. When they got there, they found something neither of them expected.

Leaning back against the roof edge wall was Kai, who was soundly asleep. The real interesting sight though was that Gaige was asleep as well, using Kai's legs as a makeshift pillow. "Oh my gosh, that is just adorable!" Maya quietly whispered as Sal just chuckled. With that, they both proceed to pull out their ECHO's and snap several photos of the sleeping pair. "So how should we wake them?" Maya asked.

Sal thought about it till he snapped his fingers. "I got it. Get your ECHO's video recorder ready." Maya opened up the app and gave Sal a thumbs up, as Sal tiptoed over to the teens. He leaned over near Gaige's head and said in a whimsical whisper. "Wakey, Wakey kids! It time to wake up~!"

Gaige stirred a little as tried to bury her head into her pillow. "Mmm, five more minutes. I'm too comfy..."

"* _Yawn_ * Why do my legs feel heavy?" Kai mumbled.

Gaige's eyes suddenly shot open as the realization of where she was laying finally finished processing . She immediately jumped up, hitting Kai in the chin with the back of her head, knocking him over. Salvador jumped back as the teen blushed a bright red.

"OhgeezlookatthetimeIneedtogogetreadyforthedayokeybye!" She bolted off the roof, down the stairs and out of sight, slamming shut her room's door seconds later.

Sal, Maya, and Hati looked back to Kai who was on his back, nursing a bruised jaw. "Oww… First, what just happened? Second, why do I suddenly feel like the butt end of a cosmic joke?" He asked.

The three observers just looked to one another for several seconds before they each began to laugh. "HA HA HA! THAT WAS PERFECT!" Sal said.

"And we got it on tape for later too!" Maya said as another fit of hysterical laughter came over them as the Vault Hunters made their way back downstairs, leaving a bewildered Kai with a snickering wolf.

"Seriously? Anyone? What just happened?"

X-X-X

Off someplace else in the ECHO Network, Angel was shifting through mountains of code and info as she typically did every morning. As she was a sub-screen popped up in front of her, informing her of a new ECHO mail. She stared at the window for several seconds in confusion. 'Nobody ever mails me… Who even has my ECHOmail address? Wait, did I even set one up?'

After staring at the message for a minute her curiosity won out and she pressed the open icon, opening a video file, one where Kai and Gaige were sleeping together in a cute fashion making Angel choo. As she watched her expressions went from curiosity to sudden shock, and finally pure historical laugher. During this time on Pandora, the ECHO net started to glitch out. Finally, after several minutes Angel stopped laughing and looked at the rest of the message to find several cute photos of the teens and a short typed message. _Kaige is real! Maya._

Angel smiled and immediately saved the message to a personal secure file she kept. "Thank you Maya, you just made my day… Or is it just starting?" She said, grinning mischievously.

X-X-X

About twenty minutes later everyone but Zer0 and Gaige was standing in front of the garage facing Ellie, who was standing in front of the closed doors. Finally, Gaige emerged, looking flustered and angry

"Well, look who decided to finally _wake up_." Maya said with a grin as Sal tried to hold a laugh.

"Screw you guys." Gaige said as she walked over and stood next to Kai.

"You okay?" Kai asked.

"I should be asking you that." Gaige shot back.

"Wait? Do you know what happened? Because I don't know and this 'mutt' won't tell me." He said jabbing his thumb towards Hati who was... whistling. . . ' _That's a new one_.' Gaige thought.

"If yall are done over there, I like to get this little show and tell over with so I can get some sleep!" Ellie said. With that everyone brought their attention to Ellie.

"Ladies and big babies."

"HEY!" Both Axton and Sal yelled as Kai just ignored it and Krieg just chuckled.

"I'd like to introduce yall to your new hawt ass rides!" Slapping a control, both of the garages opened up to reveal two Bandit Technicals being driven out by Loggin's and Zer0. Loggins was in the standard buzzsaw variant while Zer0's was a catapult type. Both vehicles were muddied up to look like the typical Technical.

"Cool, now I just have one questi-"

"It's scanned into the Catch-a-ride and backed up." Ellie interjected.

"Had to be sure." Kai said.

"All right, with that out of the way is everyone geared up?" Axton asked, getting several confirmations. "Good, then mount up."

Axton and Sal jumped into Zer0's truck, while everyone took the other. Kai took the driver's seat while Gaige took the turret. Maya and Krieg got in the back. "Thanks again Ellie." Kai said.

"Any time y'all. Don't be strangers, ya hear me."

"Roger that. We're ready!" Kai called to the other Technical.

"Alright then, Zer0 we got the lead, we're oscar mike." Axton yelled. And with that, the two Bandit Technicals raced out of Ellie's junkyard, Leaving Ellie and Loggins standing next to each other.

"Well, that was interesting. Cute kids."

"Yup… How much you want to bet those kids will start dating?" Loggins asked.

"Please! It's not a matter of if, but a matter of when... I give them a month tops." Ellie replied.

". . . I'll take that bet."

X-X-X

It had been about two hours into the trip, and everyone was either driving or bored. At the moment Kai was arguing with Hati over possible modifications that could be made to the Bandit Technicals design. Gaige was only listening with half an ear as she just watched the landscape go by until her Whisper activated and a familiar voice filled her ear. " _Well good day Gaige. Did you have a 'comfortable' time sleeping last night_?"

Gaige flushed, turning away from the others. "Angel! What the hell are you talking about?" Gaige demanded in a hushed whisper. A holo screen popped up in front of her face with an image of Kai and Gaige sleeping with her head in his lap. Gaige's whole face turned beet red as she quickly took down the screen. "Are you insane! What if Kai saw that!"

" _Relax, he's too busy arguing to notice, just look_."

"No, no, a saw turret is better than a catapult turret hands down."

Woof, woof!"

"DPS! What DPS! That's crazy talk!" Kai replied.

She glanced to the back where Maya and Krieg were. Maya was reading something on her Echo, not paying any attention to anything else while Krieg was playing airplane with his Buzz axe off the side.

Gaige turned back away from the others. "Okay... point... But still, why are you calling?"

" _To ask how it was, I mean you must have been_ _very_ _comfortable and trusting of Kai for that to happen. Did anything_ _else_ _happen last night_?"

"What! No! No, no, no, we just talked. That it, I swear!"

"Aww, is little Red getting flustered." Maya whispered into her ear causing Gaige to give a small yelp. She quickly looked to Kai to see he was still arguing with Hati. She then turned and glared at Maya who had a playful smirk.

"How are-" Gaige began to ask till Maya pulled out a small device from her ear.

"An old Tac-Comm earpiece Axton gave me last night. Mostly so I could listen to a couple of audiobooks, but also so I can hear... you know."

" _Hi, Maya._ "

"Good to hear from you. Now, tell us all the details." Maya said.

"There nothing to tell, we just talked."

" _About_ ~"

". . . His parents… and how they died." Gaige said which immediately killed the mood.

"Oh/ _oh._ " Both the siren and A.I. said. No one said anything for about a minute until Angel spoke up. " _Well, did you talk about anything else… Do anything else?~_ "

"You two are just incorrigible." Gaige muttered as both women giggled. "We just talked a little and stared at the stars till we fell asleep."

"Awww, how romantic~." Maya teased.

"It wasn't like that!" Gaige muttered.

" _Sure, and I'm not a construct made of one's and zero's._ "

"Ugh, what do you two want?!"

"We want nothing, other than for you to realize you're in denial."

"In denial? In denial of what?"

"That you actually…" She glanced at Kai. "Loov- Uph!" Maya suddenly found her mouth covered by Gaige's robot hand.

"Finish that sentence and I'll use you for DT's next weapons test." Gaige glared, voice low and deadly. "And didn't we go over this? He's not my _boyfriend_ , he's my _friend_. Got it?!"

" _Oh come on Gaige, don't be like that! You guys are always paired up during missions. What you two have can easily be called more than friendship_." Angel pleaded.

"There is nothing between us." Gaige ground out.

"Oh, keep telling yourself that, it will only be a matter of time." Maya said with a sly grin.

Gaige just stared at her for several seconds until she grinned wickedly, unnerving the Siren. "Well what about you Maya? You've never even had a boyfriend~. And you're older than me at the same time..."

" _WHAT!? Maya, how come you haven't told me!_ " Angel said as Maya groaned.

"Dammit Gaige, now she's on my case too!" Maya said before moving back to the rear of the truck as Angel was babbling away about changing her looks, what to look for, and who were potential prospects. Gaige just giggled at Maya's misery. Although Angel's last words did bug her. 'What you two have can easily be called more than friendship.' Rang through her head.

Gaige glanced to Kai as the thought repeated in her several more times. Was there actually more to their friendship. Sure Kai admittedly was cute, in a way, but… She actually wasn't sure what to think about Kai. They were friends, sure, but was there anything else between them. Could there be something betwee-.

 _THUNK_!*

Gaige snapped her neck around and saw a flaming saw blade had impaled itself into the back of the cab section. Gaige looked back and saw two Bandit Technicals following them. "Evil go-kart shooting turtle shell off the port stern!" Krieg yelled out.

"GOT IT" Kai yelled as he swerved right as a barrel flew off to there left.

"Angel, will talk later." Gaige said before disconnecting the call. With that, all previous thoughts were put away as she began to fire back at the Bandits.

Several hours later the gang finally arrived at the Bloodshots stronghold again and parked outside. "So, you guys ready?" Axton asked.

"All set here." Maya replied as she and Krieg ducked down to avoid being seen.

"Come on! Let's go already!" Sal, giddy for a fight.

Gaige leaned a little closer to Kai and whispered. "So how is this going to go down? I mean, we really don't have a plan for this?"

"They're Bandits Gaige. The plan is and almost always will be to have bigger and better guns and use overwhelming firepower… Actually, that's basically the unspoken law of Pandora." Kai said just as Zer0 honked his car horn twice.

After about several seconds the lazy bandit from the day before came over the open ECHO's. " _Hey boss, we got company outside the gate._ "

" _Hmmm. They look like ours! Let 'em in while I try to get Hyperion back on the horn!_ "

The gate opened up all the way and both vehicles drove into a small motor pool. (Before anyone asks. I took some creative liberties with the world-building with Santuary. Just go with it.)

As soon as both trucks were through the gate Kai and Zer0 swerved into a wedge formation as Gaige and Axton opened up with their turrets. Axton first lobbed an explosive barrel into a guard tower causing it and the lazy bandit inside to explode in a shower of shrapnel. Gaige started raking the area of any Bloodshots insight with flaming saw blades that quickly began to maul any Bandits in their paths. The rest of the Vault Hunters jumped out and began to lay down fire. After a minute-long shootout the area was cleared and the Vault Hunters abandoned the trucks and rushed towards the dam.

They raced around several buildings only to all stop as they discovered that there was a large gap between them and the dam. The only way through was a closed drawbridge... That looked like a monstrous face. "Did not expect this." Axton said.

" _We got an intruder! GET 'EM, BADMAW!_ " Flanksteak yelled over the open ECHO's.

"Ooooh crap." Kai said.

"What wrong?" Gaige asked slightly worried by his tone. With a groan, the drawbridge started to open.

"Well… You guys remember Rad Max yesterday?" Kai asked.

A massive figure suddenly jumped from the top of the drawbridge and landed with a loud thud, cratering the ground. It was a massive nomad who was as big as Max but had his hood up. In his left arm, he held a massive shield.

"We'll meet his buddy, Bad Maw."

Bad Maw hefted his shield up and over and slammed it into the ground in front of him, which revealed three Psycho midgets chained to the front of it. "Oh, and his merry midgets. How could I 'frakking' forget." Kai yelled in displeasure as everyone but Krieg ran for cover. "KRIEG GET TO COVER!" Kai yelled.

But the Psycho Vault Hunter didn't listen, charging at the Nomad "WHO WANTS THE FIRST SLICE OF PIZZA!" Krieg yelled as he leaped at Bad Maw. With a wide and fast left swing, Bad Maw bashed the shield into him and knocked him back several meters. Krieg lifted his head and said in a daze. "Look at the rainbow Rakks!"

" ** _I'm seeing them too… which worries me._** " His inner voice said.

"Krieg! RUUUUUN!" Axton yelled as Bad Maw pulled out a kevlar coated Tediore shotgun and started firing at Krieg as he scrambled to the nearest cover which happened to be a wall that Kai and Gaige were hiding behind. Just before he reached it Bad Maw threw his shotgun at him which fell a meter short of him and exploded, propelling him over the wall and in front of the two teens. "I need mommy's kiss."

"I think you're gonna need more than that Krieg." Gaige said.

"Actually he was asking for an aspirin." Kai corrected her.

"Seriously!? I'm never gonna figure out how his vocabulary works."

"Give it time." Kai said as he fired a few shots.

" _Hey, kids, enough chit-chat. Kai you know this guy. What's his deal?_ " Axton asked over the ECHO.

"He's a straightforward tank. Takes a lot and dishes it back, and like most nomads, he tends to try and stay behind his shield which-" An explosion from a grenade interrupted them as it pelted them with ice and dirt. "Which even my Clementine would have trouble penetrating."

" _And the midgets?_ " Maya asked.

"He… honestly, I don't know. I think he just likes to torment them." Kai admitted as he reloaded his Fast Talker.

"Well, what do we do then?" Maya shouted as she popped up and shot a few quick bursts from her Dahl SMG, of which the shots were absorbed by the midgets who yelled in angered pain as Bad Maw just laughed. One of the bullets did manage to hit and break one of the chains restraining the midgets, which a certain assassin noticed.

"Don't look at me, me and Reiss always had to run from the guy!" Kai yelled. "It's not like he has some glaring-"

Two sniper shots suddenly cracked into the air as both shots hit and broke the remaining two chains on the shield. This caused the Midgets to fall down and look around in confusion until they turned to Bad Maw. "Ugh, ha ha. . . No hard feeling guys. . . Guys?"

The three midgets suddenly all pulled out rusty shivs, yelling, in typical Psycho speech the lead, "RIP HIS STUFFING OUT! FEAST ON HIS RIB CAGE FROM THE INSIDE!" They all jumped at the Nomad, trying to stab him as Bad Maw started to flail about and shot his shotgun wildly. Everyone just watched as the scuffle was occurring.

"Should… Should we-" Maya started to ask.

"No." Zer0 said as he walked over. "They have been unshackled / Free to exact their vengeance / Just leave them be."

So as the midgets proceed to beat Bad Maw they all start to look around for a way to open the bridge as the fight continue. They finally find a large well decorated with bullets all around it. Axton and Sal gave it a try turn but it didn't budge. "Look like it needs a key, hombre."

"So then how will we get across?" Gaige asked.

"We need to find someone of high enough rank who would have a key." Maya said. To which everyone turned to Bad Maw who was still fighting the midgets. One was currently on his shoulders trying to stab his head through the hood he wore with a rusty spork. "GONNA RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND SHIT IN YOUR DEAD SKULL!"

"Well, you guys know the drill." Axton said as he brought his rifle up. Everyone just stared at him as he just stood there at the ready, it took him a moment to realize nobody knew what he was doing. With a sigh, he pointed to Bad Maw. "Shoot the officer then loot what you need." He said which got a resounding "Ooooh" from everyone but Zer0. With that they brought up their weapons, finally alerting Bad Maw and the three midgets.

"Whaaa?" Bad Maw said.

"Fire!" Axton yelled prompting a cacophony of weapons fire. Bad Maw start to look as if he was spazzing out with how many rounds were hitting him while the midgets were blasted off. After several seconds of continuous fire, everyone emptied their weapons. The midgets were nothing more than blood smears. Bad Maw was still standing, albeit barely.

"Ha, ha, ha. . . You think that will stop me-"

He was interrupted with a loud *THUNK!* as a buzz ax buried itself into his skull. The group turned to see a pissed looking Krieg had thrown it.

". . . Mommy. . . I got a headache." Bad Maw mumbled before falling over.

"That for trying to plant my spleen in the blood garden, damn barf toe!"

Everyone looked to Kai for a translation. ". . . I… I'm not repeating that… ever." He said as he walked over to Bad Maw's corpse and started searching it. The other Vault Hunters grabbed the loot that had spilled out, which included a rare Tediore shotgun which Maya claimed and several bars of eridium. After checking all of Bad Maw's pockets Kai checked his neck where he found a necklace with a large bullet on it and a key head welded onto the side of the casing.

"Is that the key?" Gaige asked.

"Only one way to find out." He said as he yanked the bullet off of the nomad's neck and tossed it over to Sal.. Native Pandoran man quickly slid the key in and gave the wheel a spin. Sure enough, the drawbridge lowered and opened the way for the Vault Hunters.

"Annnd, we're in business! So lock and load everyone, this is where shit gets real…" Axton said in a tough guy tone as he seemed to try and strike a pose.

Everyone just stared at Axton with blank expressions. "Okay, I think someone been watching to many war and action movies." Maya said, causing Axton's ego to deflate as everyone else laughed as they started across the bridge into the stronghold.

-Several "LARGE" firefights later-

The team had already dispatched around a hundred bandits in the stronghold and were still heading deeper in. "Well, those were some good warm-up fights." Salvador said as he stretched his arms.

"Seriously!? That was just a warm up to you!? I'm afraid to ask what you consider a workout." Gaige groaned. As they all exited a hallway they found it led out into a large circular cavern. Ice stuck out from a wall to the right, next to a ramp that spiraled upwards to a tiered second floor. In the center was a massive, swirling pool of water.

"What is this place?" Gaige asked.

"That's part of the dam's water intake system that feeds the electric turbines." Maya said, garnering a look from everyone.

"That's actually right… How did you know that?" Axton asked.

"When you live in a monastery all your life with the planets biggest library, you tend to learn a few random things." Maya replied as she looked around.

"Eh, I think I'd rather call it Satan's Sinkhole." Said Sal.

"Interesting name… How did you come up with it?" Kai asked curiously. Sal pointed to the wall by him where an old sign was hanging which read water intake room two. However, the words had been crossed out with red paint, and the words Satan's Sinkhole where painted below it.

"So then where do we go now?" Gaige asked.

"Looks like up there." Maya said pointing to the upper ring. "That would lead to the upper part of the dam."

"And straight into all the bandits." Sal said.

"Bandits? What bannnnn… Ooh, crapbaskets." Maya said as two dozen Bandits and Psychos took up position.

"WelP." Kai said popping the P. "Break's over." He pulled out a grenade and threw it at a bandit. It nailed the Bandit in the face mask and knocked him on his ass.

The Bandit sat up and rapidly shake his head of the dizziness. "Hey, there's something on your face man." Said a marauder.

"What? Like a spider? Get it off me!" The bandit yelled, swatting at his mask, only for the grenade to explode a second after, deploying six more micro-grenades which all exploded and killed or maimed about a dozen more Bloodshots.

"Move! We gotta get up the ramp before they dig in." Kai yelled as he pulled out his Fast Talker and began rushing towards the concrete ramp.

The group paused for a second until Sal pulled out his Dog shotgun and a Maliwan fire SMG, "Wait for me hombre!"

"WAIT! I WANT A NEW MEAT BICYCLE TOO!" Krieg yelled as he chased after them waving a Hyperion incendiary SMG.

As the three Vault Hunter engaged the horde of bandits Gaige let out a small sigh that Axton noticed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just finally coming to the realization that this is my life now. Killing Psychopaths how want to eat me or wear my guts, going on extremely dangerous adventures with the high possibility of death, or worse getting hunted by a mega corporations. Oh, and that my best friend is so desensitized by it that he would just charge headlong into said danger. Along with most of my other friends." She said as she watched Krieg throw a Psycho into the air only for Sal to blast him like a clay pidgin.

"At least they're enthusiastic about it." Maya said as Kai summoned Hati who tackled a Brawler to the ground, while he spun around and stabbed a bandit in the neck with a Holo blade, pinning him to the wall, shoving his Fast Talker into the Bandit's gut as he did so and emptying the duel magazines.

Gaige and the others continued to watch the carnage for a few more seconds. "We're going to die on this planet, aren't we?" Gaige asked.

"Death lurks around us / just waiting to strike us / . . . So it very likely." Zer0 said as he watched Krieg throw his ax at a bandit on the upper level which lodged itself in his head. The dying bandit keeled over, accidentally grabbing onto one of his comrades. The wounded bandit dragged him and the one he had grabbed over the ledge, sending both screaming into the whirlpool.

"Did that one guy just Wilhelm scream?" Axton asked.

"I don't know what's stranger, the fact that was a perfect Wilhelm scream, or that you even know of it." Gaige said.

"HEY!" The four Vault Hunters looked across the room to see Kai and Krieg ducked behind a slab of concrete while Sal was firing at several psychos and bandits. "If you guys are done talking over there, we could really use a hand here." Kai yelled from across the room.

"Out of boom-booms!" Krieg yelled as he throws his last grenade.

"You heard them. Move it, ladies!" Axton yelled.

"HEY!" Gaige and Maya yelled in indignation as they ran after him as Zer0's hologram disappeared.

The three reached the others just as Sal had to end his gunzerking spree. "About time you lentas got here. I was afraid you had gotten lost."

"Shouldn't you be getting ammo? Short stack." Axton said.

"Shouldn't you be shooting, punta." Sal retorted

"Damn midget." Axton muttered as he shouldered his Dahl rifle and quickly shot a Psycho near the edge of the upper level dead.

"So what the plan now? We can't stay here." Maya said as she Phaselocked a Bandit behind them and shot it with a common Tediore pistol in the head.

"I say cause a distraction and then push forward." Axton said.

"At least until we get to the upper level. Looks like they reinforced several of the railings with some steel plates." Kai pointed out. "Speaking of which, anyone got a grenade they could toss?"

BOOM!*

They all looked up to see that a tesla grenade was going off and electrocuting the bandits nearby. Once the grenade used up its power, it left four bloodshots dead and three still standing but weak. Without giving them any time to recover, a sword burst out of a Psycho chest as Zer0 appeared behind him. Zer0 quickly rushed forward with the still impaled psycho and runs the sword through another bandit. With both impaled bloodshots Zer0 rammed them into a wall, before pulling out a Jakobs Wheelgun and rapidly putting two shots into the two other Bandits. He immediately turned invisible again as gunfire came from the opposite side.

Everyone just stared at where Zer0 last was till Kai spoke up. "Okay, seriously, where the fuck did you find this guy?!" Gaige just shrugged.

Axton just shook his head. "Later. Kai, Maya, take the front as we move. Gaige and-"

"SAVE SOME BLOOD BACON FOR ME!" Krieg yelled as he leapt over the cover and ran up the ramp to follow Zer0's trail of death.

"FOR THE LOVE OF! * _Sigh_ * No respect for the chain of command."

"Wait? We had a chain of command?" Kai asked sarcastically.

"SCREW IT! Let just charge the bastards!" Sal said as he swapped to a Vladof TMP. "CARGAR~!" He yelled as he ran out.

"DAMMIT SAL! STOP CHARGING HEAD FIRST INTO EVERYTHING YOU IDIOT!" Axton yelled as he left leaving the three remaining Vault Hunters on the ramp.

"It's a wonder that we get anything done around here." Maya muttered, throwing her new acquired Tediore shotgun at a charging Psycho behind them causing him to explode.

"Welcome to the life of a Vault Hunter." Kai said as he swapped out his Fast Talker for the Clementine. He then pulled out a combat knife that looked like a modified K-Bar with a few switches on the grip, and quickly locked it onto the end of his rifle.

"A Bayonet, Really?" Gaige asked.

Kai pressed a switch near the hilt and the edge of the blade began to glow a bright red. "If it works." He said with a grin. "Now enough sitting around. Let move!" Kai yelled, jumping the cover and running up the ramp. Gaige and Maya followed him into the fight above.

Just as they reached the top of the ramp they saw Axton, pinned to a wall, parrying a buzz ax wielding Psycho with his Kai could level his rifle to help the man, a door to his right flew open and another Psycho rushed out at him, yelling, "KISS ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!"

"NO THANKS!" Kai yelled as he deflected the Psycho's ax with his left hologram blade, taking a quick slash at the Psycho, who stumbled out of the way. Before the psycho could attack again, Maya suddenly jumped and flipped over the two men, shooting the psycho in the head with a Maliwan pistol. Before the body could even hit the ground the siren landed on her feet, rushed forward to drive a siren charged punch into the side of the head of the Psycho Axton was dueling with. There was a gut-wrenching snap as his neck whipped to the side, sending the Bloodshot flying into an exposed pipe and crumple to the floor. . "Hey, guys look! I can participate in the puppet show now!" Axton proceeded to kick the psycho off the upper ring, across the platforms and off the edge towards the whirlpool. "BROADWAY HERE I COOOOOOME!" the limp Psycho yelled before hitting the water.

The Siren and Commando turned to see how their teenaged comrades were handling themselves. They both were holding a Psycho by the legs and dragging him to the edge and threw him off the side. "No! Let me stay meat puppet!" He screamed before being swallowed up by the water.

" _WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING! You morons need to stop those slaggund's from springin' Roland! We lose him, we lose our payday!"_ Yelled Flanksteak over the intercom. Seconds later more Bloodshots started entering the room from various places.

"Things just got real. Gaige, Kai, watch our six. The rest of the gang will push around the side til we can secure the other side and cover you." Axton yelled.

"Got it." Kai answered as he immediately took out and deployed Hati's projector. He took a knee and shouldered his rifle and started shooting bandits across the way. Gaige deployed DT and took up cover behind a steel slab placed on the railing to cover Kai and the ramp which still had bandits rushing up.

The fighting continued for several minutes as Axton and the others slowly pushed forward. Gaige was firing away with her assault rifle and took down her twentieth Bloodshot on the ramp. DT was up to twenty-six kills. As Gaige unloaded another mag into a Marauder, the dam's intercom came on again. " _You idiots still haven't killed those skaglicks. FINE! Send in the Mad Mike and the Ironbloods!"_ Flanksteak yelled.

"Who's Mad Mike and the Ironbloods? A fucking rock band?" Gaige asked as Kai thought about what they said.

"Oh shit, WE GOT COMPANY!" Kai yelled out as several doors burst open. From those doors boiled out dozens of armor-clad, buzz ax-wielding Psychos.

"Who are-"

"Armored Maniacs!" Kai yelled. Gaige immediately brought her rifle up and fired a burst at the nearest Maniac. Only instead of a splatter of blood and entrails, the rounds bounced off his heavy armor torso.

"They're bulletproof!?" Gaige yelled.

"To everything but corrosive damage and headshots." Kai informed the group as a buzz ax came flying between the two teens. "We need to move!" Kai said as he grabbed Gaige by the arm and led her towards the ring only for four more Maniacs to slide down a pole, cutting them off from the rest of the group, who were busy dealing with several Maniacs and a Badass Psycho. Kai clenched his teeth in frustration as he looked around for another option.

Gaige also looked around till she looked towards the other side of the room. "Kai, the bridge!" She said, pointing at the bridge that spanned the ring.

"Gaige that's insane!" Kai said before an approaching Maniac yelled: "I need a new femur bone for my meat bicycle!"

"Luckily, I just so happen to like insane ideas right now. HATI! Cover our six! DT, in front!"

With that DT took point as they moved towards the bridge, dodging the occasional thrown ax or bullet as they went. As they started making their way across Several Maniacs rushed Hati. He shot the first two with a Mjölnir shot, but as they were being electrocuted a third jumped over them and slashed Hati in the back. The digital wolf howled in shock. "Kai!" Gaige exclaimed.

Kai looked back to see Hati's body starting to decompose into shards of light. "Shit! Come on, we gotta get off this-" But he was cut off as an explosion erupted from a set of double doors. The teens looked to see a Nomad in a red and white coat walking out with a Torgue rocket launcher in hand. On both sides of his belt had two old railway lantern; curved steel pads adorned his shoulders, carried some kind cylinder on a pole on his back. His wore a skull-shaped mask with red lensed eyes and had a miners helmet on top.

"MAD MIKE IS IN THE HOUSE! AND I GOT ROCKETS FOR EVERYBODY!" He yelled, firing a rocket. Kai and Gaige both ducked down as the rocket flew over their heads and nailed an Armored Maniac in the chest, gibbing the unfortunate Bloodshot.. The Nomad fired another rocket towards the other Vault Hunters. It impacted near Sal, sending him flying into Zer0, knocking both Hunters over. Mad Mike just laughed hysterically as he continued to fire every which way

"SHIT! We're not gonna last long here Kai!" Gaige yelled. Kai looked back to see a Maniac charging.

DOWN!" Gaige ducked as Kai thrusted his rifle forward, impaling the Maniac in the neck with the bayonet. The heated blade set the Maniac on fire underneath his armor. In seconds the Maniac was burning, Panicking, the maniac stumbled trying to but out the fire, only to lose his footing and fall into the whirlpool below. Kai fired at several more Maniacs and Psychos trying to rush the bridge. Gaige fended off those rushing at them from the front with her SMG.

One Psycho got particularly ballsy and rushed at Gaige. She took aim and shot at the Psycho, but he suddenly jumped over Gaige and rushed at Kai. Without thinking Gaige turned and jumped at the crazed man, tackling the Psycho to the deck. "DAMN CAT! GET OFF MY WASHER!" The Psycho yelled, trying to throw the young Vault Hunter off. Gaige threw a punch with her robot arm into his back, getting a yelp out of the Psycho which alerted Kai, who turned and saw the scuffle. "GAIGE!" Kai yelled as he tried to move to help, only for the Psycho to yell, . "LET ROCK'N ROOOLL!" The Psycho rolled to the right, straight off the bridge, taking the redhead with him..

"NO!" Kai yelled, rushing to the edge. He looked over in a panic only to move back as DT floated up in front of him, Gaige cradled safely in his arms. "Holy shit you scared me!" Kai breathed, fighting off a heart attack..

"It'll take more than that to kill this badas-" An explosion cut her off engulfing DT's back, causing the death machine to begin to digitally collapse. With the Mechromancer still in his vanishing arms. "GAIGE!" The group yelled.

Kai reached out to to grab her, only to just barely brush her fingers as she slipped away from him. "GAAAAAIGE!" Kai yelled as he saw the girl fall into the whirlpool below… And disappear into the swirling pool. Kai stared at the spot he last saw her in shock for several seconds. To him, it felt as if the universe stopped. Not even a week had gone by and Kai just saw _another_ friend disappear from his life in front of his eyes. In that moment he felt… Alone. Never had he felt a more cold, soul-crushing feeling in his life. Kai snapped out of his thoughts as he heard an irritating laugh ringing through the room.

"HA HA HA HA! That was so hilarious! I haven't had this much fun in weeks!" Mad Mike yelled. "Did you boys see her face? The little bitch was like, what the fuck! To bad though, I would have liked to make that bitch suffer a bit more, see her squirm in pain and agon-."

 **BANG! CHINK!** *

Everyone was silent for several seconds, with the only sound being the water below as everyone seemed to suddenly be drawn to Mike. Mad Mike slowed brought his hand up to his helmet and realized the flashlight had been shot and destroyed. Everyone looked to the bridge where Kai was getting up with his rifle in hand. An angry, hollow look covered his face. Mike just started to laugh again, only this time there was just a hint of nervousness.

"AWWW, is the little boy angry his little friend is dead?" Mad Mike taunted.

Kai deployed Hati's sphere and gave a dark chuckle. "Angry, no. Livid with disgust and the sudden urge to cause blinding pain… Extremely." He said as Hati finished forming. "Hati… Activate Ragnarok." Hati began to growl as he started to grow in size letting out a demonic, blood-curdling howl that echoed through the dam.

**-X-X-X-**

**-Bonus-**

**Mini-Torgue Adventures**

**Episode 2**

The _Torgue-anought_ was sailing through space on its way to Pandora. Inside Torgue was banging his head as the space Echo radio was playing classic ancient rock, while his new captive/partner Billy the bullet was reading a galaxy map. "So if I'm reading this right, it will take us three weeks to get to Pandora… If there no detours."

Billy heard a loud growl. The bullet-shaped mascot turned and looked at Mr. Torgue, who had his hand on his stomach. "I'm hungry! We need to find a place to eat!" He said.

"Couldn't you just get something from the ship's galley, isn't is fully stocked?"

"F*K NO! We need to support the local economy! Plus, I'm craving a fresh burger!" He looked off to the side, out the window. "THERE!" He yelled.

Billy looked out the window and saw a Space billboard advertising a Space truck stop and rest stop three light-years from them. "Really? A truck stop?"

"Come on Billy where's your sense of f*king adventure!? The exploration of food is just as much an adventure as a fight against a horde of Whiskered Kobos, or an unarmed brawl against an angry Badass Oxbat!... Plus we should refuel anyways."

Billy just stared at him for several seconds. "Are those even real creatures?"

"I DON'T F*KING KNOW!? NOW OFF TO ANOTHER ADVENTURE OF THE STOMACH!" Torgue yelled slams the ship's hyperdrive into gear and sent them shooting off into the void of space.

**_A little while later-_ **

The _Torgue-anought_ had landed on a station alongside dozens of other cargo ships and space trucks. After paying for fuel services they made their way to a dinner-style restaurant called Gus's Galaxy Grill. They entered the restaurant and took two seats at the bar and looked over the menus until a blond waitress in s somewhat skimpy outfit came by for their orders. "* _POP_ * So what can I get you boys?" She asked as she popped the gum she was chewing on.

"I'll have the Grota-bull burger with extra fries. And a small diet soda." Mr. Torgue said.

"I'll have the special." Billy said.

"Alright then, your orders will be ready in a few minutes." The waitress said blowing another bubble as she walked away. As they waited, a group of Dahl soldiers several seats down were laughing at some shared stories. "So Frank tells the General, 'That's not the robot you're looking for sir.' So the General asks, 'Well if it ain't the robot then what is it?!' And Frank says, 'Sir, that's my trash can!' " The man said, earning a laugh from everyone. As they were laughing one older man started to gasp, moving erratically as if he was having a seizure. The others quickly helped the guy up, clearing the bar top , sending glass and silverware flying all over the place.

"Bring this man some water!" One man yelled as he lifted the guy onto the bar.

"WATER MY ASS! BRING THIS MAN SOME GUT-HOLE-BISMOL!" Yelled another soldier.

Suddenly the man's gut started to bulge as he screamed in pain to the horror of the restaurant's patrons. Billy looked shocked and turned to the Waitress. "Hey, waiter! Waiter! What did that guy order!?"

"Oh, he had the special." She said in a bored manner before walking off again.

"I ordered the special! Change my order to a burger!" Billy panicked.

Suddenly the man's gut burst open, as a small green alien creature crawled out of the man's stomach. The man looked at the small creature. "Oh not again." He said before his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The creature jumped out of the man's gut causing several patrons to scream in panic. Then, out of nowhere, the small alien pulled out a small top hat and cane as music suddenly started to inexplicably playing from nowhere.

" _Hello my baby_

_Hello my honey_

_Hello my ragtime gal"_

" _Send me a kiss by wire_

_Baby my heart's on fire"_

The alien sang as he danced past Mr. Torgue and Billy who watched it in shock, disgust, and confusion.

_If you refuse me_

_Honey you loose me_

_Then you'll be_

_Left alone~._

_Oh baby telephone_

_And tell me I'm_

_Your own_ ~.

With that the alien ran through a small door at the end of the bar top. Torgue and Billy both stood up and raised their hands. "Check please!"

They were gone a few minutes later and quickly ran back to the _Torgue-anought_. "Once the truck is fueled up were getting the hell out of here." Billy said.

"But what about my burger?" Torgue asked.

"There a MacSpacey's five light years from here. I'll buy you a big MacSpace burger." Billy said.

"Deal… We might want to hurry by the way."

"Why?" Billy asked only for the dinner to explode a second later in a massive fireball. "TORGUE WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Billy yelled as they both started running for the ship.

"It wasn't me! These stations are notorious for being over f*cking sensitive with their Biocontainment systems." Another section of the station suddenly exploded, taking out several ships on the deck. "Luckily it a little slow though." Torgue said as they got to the _Torgue-anought_ and jumped in. As soon as Mr. Torgue got to the pilot's seat he fired up the ship engines as more of the space stop started to explode. Dozens of other ships were also quickly taking off from the deck in a bid to escape. "HANG ON TO YOUR SHELL CASING!" Torgue yelled as Billy strapped in. Torgue hit the accelerator and the _Torgue-anought_ lurched up off the platform and shot into space.

Billy turned and looked back to see more explosions ripping through the space stop until it suddenly turned into a small sun that nearly blinded Billy.

Twenty minutes later they were parked outside a MacSpacey's floating in the void of space, where they were finally eating their lunch.

After a few minutes of silence, Billy finally turned to Mr. Torgue. "Soooo, should I just start to expect things to randomly explode around you for now on?"

"Basically, yes. Sh*t has always been exploding around me, ever since I built my first explosive weapon all those years ago." Mr. Torgue, a wistful look on his face as he took another bite of his burger.

". . . Should I be worried?" Billy asked.

"About exploding? F*ck no! Stay close to me and you'll be fine!" Mr. Torgue said.

"I was afraid you'd say that." Said the cartoon bullet as he contemplated his actual chances of survival.


	13. Damned to be Alive

As Gaige came around she realized that there was nothing, no sound, no light, she couldn't even feel anything at all. She wasn't even sure if she had a body anymore. She thought about what had happened to her when it hit her. 'Oh, I died… Then… No… NO! Is this the afterlife? No this can't be it. There's nothing here!' Gaige thought beginning to panic. Without warning, there was a flurry of lights and sounds that began to bombard all of her senses. Gaige covered her ears and closed her eyes in a futile attempt to block out the light and sounds.

When the lights and sounds finally died down, Gaige slowly opened her eyes. "What the?!"

In front of her were three figures, the two on the immediate left and right were silhouetted by the light. The one on the left was very robotic looking, possessing a rectangular head, and a metal chassis for a torso with a toolbox mounted on it back which was all sitting on what appeared to be a tread base. The one on the right had the outline of a very tall and muscular man with a buzz cut and what appeared to be sunglasses with a single red light glowing through the shades right lense. The last one in the center was the clearest had a humanoid form in a silver and black android body, his head was encased in a silver metal helmet with a black strip for a visor. A black piece of metal wrapped around his chin, framing his cheeks and mouth, which seemed to be the only part of him that was human.

"Wha-What is this?" Gaige asked.

"Gaige the Mechromancer, you stand before the robotic council of Robotic Badassery."

Gaige just stared for a second. "Wait, that's a thing? Where am I?"

"The hall of Robotic judgment before the afterlife."

"The hall of Robotic Judgment? Really?"

"Well, usually you would first go to the Grand Data Buffering room, but we're having a good connection today." Said the figure to the right in a heavily Austrian accent that screamed badass.

"Uuuuh, what?"

"As the great robot policeman, I regret to inform you that we cannot permit you entrance into the next world." said the now identified robot policeman.

"WHAT!" Gaige exclaimed in panic.

"However young citizen, the time for your final judgment has yet to come."

"Okay!? Can someone please explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

"All in good time young citizen. Now it is time for you to return." The man in the center said.

"But I still don't know what going oOOAAAAH!" Gaige screamed as she suddenly found herself falling. There was nothing but streaks of gold light all around her which were rapidly changing into streaks of neon blue with strands of binary code in it. Then there was a flash of light in front of her before Gaige lost all her senses for several seconds, only to then feel as if her body was being reconstructed atom by atom until she suddenly found herself landing on her feet gasping in air.

" _Thank you for using Hyperion New-U system. Please die again._ " Came a digital female voice from a battered and bloodied New-U station behind her.

Gaige patted herself down to check if everything was in place. Hands, feet, hair, boobs. Much to her relief, everything seemed fine. She looked around and realized she was in a hallway in the dam that she and the others had gone through earlier.

She looked down at her right hand and opened and closed it a few times to check her control. "Okay, it seems I have died… And have come back to life… Okay, I'm _never_ doing that again." She took a quick stock of her gear and saw that everything seemed to be there until she checked her HUD and saw her Anarchy stacks. "SON OF A WHORE! My Anarchy!" She dropped her head and let out a sigh of annoyance. "Well, at least I got my accuracy back."

" _Gaige!? Gaige are you there!?_ " Came Angel's voice on her WHISPER.

"Angel? Yeah, I'm here Angel, and I'm fine. Ugh, although I don't plan on doing that again anytime soon."

" _Forget that! You need to get back to the others immediately, there a problem with Kai."_

"What!? What going on? Is he hurt!?" The sound of a distant explosion in the complex could be heard as everything around her was shaken, causing pieces of concrete to fall off the walls and ceiling.

" _He's fine right now but he and the rest of your friends_ won't _be if he continues to bring the dam down on top of everyone!_ " Angel said with a worried tone.

"Awww slag!" Gaige yelled as she began running back through the dam. She got back to the water intake room and found a massacre. The bridge was shredded in two with one side of it hanging precariously from a strip of steel on the far side. There were bullet holes and impact craters all over the walls and ground, machinery on fire, and large ice spikes scattered around. Gaige approached one of the spikes and saw an Armored Maniac trapped in a pose that looked as if he was trying to block an attack with his arms. She looked at another which had another Maniac in a similar pose and a third one, only the Maniac in this one apparently had been giving someone the finger as he was frozen.

She was snapped out of her pondering as another explosion shook the facility. What followed next sent a spine chilling shiver through Gaige as a demonic wolf howl echoed through the dam. "Hati!?" Gaige exclaimed in confusion as she had never heard the wolf so angry, even when Axton killed a Psycho he had been 'playing' with back at the Southpaw power plant.

Gaige bolted up the ramp and into the next room which was some kind of water pump area, which again was full of craters. There were also a lot of frozen Bandits and some burned corpses, although a few had bullet holes in their hearts or heads. As Gaige pushed forward the sounds of fighting could be heard as she got closer.

There was another large explosion that shook the dam. " _What in the world are you fuckers doing! The whole dam feels like it's falling apart. You morons better not be playing TNT hopscotch again!_ " Yelled Flanksteak over the open ECHO as Gaige rounded the last corner. The sight she came upon could only be described as armageddon.

The room in question was flooded up to everyone ankle's, while one whole wall to the right side had been blown away leaving a new hole in the dam with ice covering the edges. In the far back was Hati, who had grown to the size of a large horse and was flailing a Bruiser around in his mouth like a ragdoll. The wolf bit down, crushing the bandit's ribcage with a crack that Gaige could hear clearly from where she stood, before tossing the new corpse into a wall. Hati's eyes were blood-red and were now giving off a red smoky mist that was seeping from the edges. Hati then leveled his head at another Bruiser and several bandits and howled which unleashed a blast of freezing air that looked like a focused blizzard, freezing the Bruiser and all the Bloodshots behind him in ice. Without even giving the frozen Bruiser a second to contemplate his current predicament, Hati bit him in half leaving only his lower half which shattered a second later.

Gaige looked around and saw the other Vault Hunters, apart from Kai, taking cover by a wall. Gaige quickly rushed over and slid in next to them. "What the Megatron is going on!?" She asked causing everyone to snap their heads to her.

"Red!? How are you alive!?" Axton said.

"Uh, New-U station. Duh."

"Oh, I guess we forgot about that."

"Which probably means Kai doesn't know." Sal said as he jabbed his thumb in the direction of the battle just as the scream (insert Wilhelm scream) of another bandit dying cried out over the sounds of gunfire.

"Wait, he's like this because I died!?... Huh… not sure how to take that."

"Well, take this into consideration then, if he keeps this up HE'LL BRING THE WHOLE DAM DOWN ON US!" Axton yelled as another explosion went off sending several bodies flying past them.

"But you're telling me, he did all of this!"

The others looked at each other as they thought about what had happened only five minutes before.

_-FLASHBACK-_

"Hati… Activate Ragnarok."

Hati growled as his form began to grow in size, his features becoming more wild and monstrous. As his growth stopped, around the size of a large horse, he opened his mouth and let loose a demonic, blood-curdling howl that echoed through the dam. Causing everyone but Kai to take several steps back in sudden fear. "Now… Who wants to go first?" Nobody moved as they all stared. "Come on, there is no need to be afraid~." Which Hati punctated for him with another menacing growl.

After several seconds an Armored Maniac at the opposite end of the bridge raised his axe and yelled, "TO INFINITY AND BACON!" and charged the teen. Before the psycho could even make it halfway Hati howled again, unleashing a blast of wind and ice which hit the psycho and two of his buddies several meters behind him. To everyone's shock, when the howl finished everyone found the Maniac completely frozen in mid-stride as well as the two behind him. Before anyone could observe any more there were three rapid gunshots heard as each of the ice sculptures suddenly shattered into hundreds of pieces. Kai charged, yelling out a battle cry as he ran straight at the Bloodshots in front of him with his bayonet mounted rifle held in front of him while Hati spun around and fired at several armored psychos with a large Mjölnir blast before he charged the rest with his maw wide open.

Kai reached the first Armored Maniac and drove his bayonet into the guys left eye socket. Before the Maniac could even scream at the pain of the wound and the searing hot blade in him, Kai pulled the trigger putting a round through the Psycho's head which flew out and nailed another armored Maniac behind him in the neck. The other Maniac fell off the edge of the bridge as Kai pulled his rifle out of the first one. Immediately he brought up his rifle again as he used it to blocked a Psycho's buzz axe as he tried an overhead chop. Kai then kicked the psycho in the left hip, stunning him as the teen grabbed the back of the Psycho head. Kai pulled the Psycho forward before sidestepping the man, letting go, and then striking the psycho in the back of the neck, knocking him out. With a swift kick, Kai knocked the unconscious body off the bridge to its watery demise below. Kai picked up a discarded buzz axe and throw it across the room into the head of a Psycho to Mad Mike's right.

"The hell!" Mike responded before a Mjölnir smashed into the Psycho on his left, leaving a large sizzling hole in his chest. "It feels so nice and BREEZY!" the Psycho yells before falling over face first. There was another howl as Hati charged back across the bridge, Kai jumped up and landed on the large wolf's back as they charged at the suddenly scared Nomad. "STOP THEM MORONS!" Mike yelled before firing his rocket launcher at the wolf in panic. Before the slow projectile could hit Hati grabbed a dead Armored Maniac with his jaw and throw it into the rocket's path blowing up both. Hati and Kai barreled through the smoke cloud towards Mike. He fires at them again, this time Hati jumped over the rocket which hit the center of the bridge causing it to collapse into two parts with the far side coming almost completely loose. Meanwhile, Heti had landed on the other side of the bridge with his claws digging into the metal before launching himself and Kai up at Mike.

Mike tried to fire again but found his rocket launcher empty. "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!" Mike screamed as he throws the launcher into the air and ran for the door behind him. As they rushed forward Kai caught the rocket launcher while swinging his Clementine out and slashed a nearby Psycho in the neck with the bayonet as Hati landed and crushed another under his paws.

Mike makes it through the door and mash's a button on the side which caused a set of heavy steel security bars to drop down which Hati ran into. The wolf snarls as he tries to claw at Mike through the bars. "HA! Suck on that you fucking plush toy!" Mike yelled as he turned and taunted the two. Hati glared at the nomad with a wave of newfound anger and opens his maw which starts to release a frigid mist as the wolf seemed to inhale deep. Mike saw this as his cue to keep running for his life.

Hati unleashed a howling blast of ice at the bars which froze the whole doorway in a block of sub-zero ice, Kai jumped off Hati, loads the rocket launcher and fired at the wall of ice. The following explosion sounded like thunder and a collapsing glass factory as the bars were shattered into millions of sharp ice crystals leaving a massive hole that was now larger than the original doorway. Kai fired two more rockets through the hole and was rewarded with the sound of several explosions and screams. Kai ran in while reloading the Torgue launcher with the giant wolf follow right behind him. As he ran into what looked like a large pump room Kai scooped up a bladed Tediore pistol in his left hand which he quickly put to use by putting two quick rounds into a Bandit trying to get up and then throwing it into another Psycho's face where it exploded on contact, blowing the guy head off. Hati rushed in and fired several Mjölnir's in rapid succession either causing several Bandits to be electrocuted or melted by direct hits. Kai fired the rocket in his right hand at a set of barrels behind several Bloodshots, causing them to explode sending flames and acid flying all over the nearby enemies who quickly fell in pain and agony.

Hati blasted another group underneath one of the water tanks with a Ragnarok blast which ruptured the tank and dumped thousands of liters of ice-cold water on the bandits. The combination caused the entire area to freeze at an accelerated rate when hit by the blast, forming dozens of massive ice spikes that managed to skewer several Bloodshots.

Kai fired several more rockets until he ran out of ammo. He chucked the empty launcher at a pair of bandits before putting two bullets into each one with the Tediore pistol before also tossing it away for good. Kai quickly looked around, spotting Mad Mike running towards a hallway at the other end of the room. "STOP THOSE SKAGLICKS!" He turned and yelled before he ran off.

"HATI!" Without another word, Hati launched another set of Mjölnir's quickly electrocuting several Bloodshots in their path, and striping the shields off several others. Kai immediately capitalized on this as he brought his Clementine up and place a single round into eight separate heads or hearts. As Kai quickly started to reload he felt a dozen rounds hitting his shields and breaking it. He then felt something perforate the side of his right leg and exit out the front. "SØK AV EN BITCH!" Kai yelled falling to his knees.

Hati heard this and saw the bandit who shot his partner. With a howl the giant wolf leaped over Kai and tackled the bandit, pinning the man under his left paw with his claws digging into the man's chest. "Ugh, n-nice doggy." Hati just growled before applying more pressure, causing the bandit rib cage to slowly collapse with several sickening wet crunches. "You're… breaking… my heart. Blugh!" The bandit gasped out before his chest collapsed under the strain.

As Hati dealt with the trash, Kai ducked down by some cover and quickly pulled out an insta-heath and jabbed it into his leg. As the injection started to take effect the rebel pulled out a grenade and tossed it from his cover. The sticky MIRV landed on a Psycho head, which the crazed man noticed and ran back to his allies nearby in excitement. "HEY GUYS! LOOKY! I UNLOCKED A NEW HAT!" A second later the grenade obliterated the Psycho head sending pieces of brain, blood, guts, and child grenades flying out in all directions. A second after that the other grenades exploded taking out several more Bloodshots. Kai tossed another MIRV grenade at a Nomad tormentor near the hallway at the back of the room.

The grenade stuck to the midget chained to his shield causing the midget to panic. "NO! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! MIDGE-MIDGE TOO PRETTY TO BOOM BOOM!" A second later, the grenade exploded obliterating the midget while launching the Tormentor back into a set of elemental barrels which promptly exploded when the MIRV's child grenades landed around him, this combined with the different barrels caused a large explosion of fire, acid, electricity, and slag taking out anyone standing within fifteen meters. With the hole in their defense opened Kai jumped from his cover and ran for the hallway that Mike ran through. Before going through the Rebel stops and puts his fingers together and whistled. Hati, who had just finished freezing a small group of Psycho's when he heard Kai whistle, quickly bounded after him.

Back at the front of the room, the other Vault Hunters slowly raise their heads from behind cover and looked in awe and shock at the destruction around them.

"Santa mierda!"

"Yeah, what the short guy said." Maya responded in shocked awe, getting a glare from Sal.

At that same time, Kai and Hati rushed in a massive room only to find themselves staring down sixty Bloodshots, loaded to the teeth with guns, blades, more guns and all manner of sharp and pointy rust encrusted objects they could muster. Mike was standing on a structure in the back of the room with what appeared to be a very rare Bandit assault rifle if it's metallic red finish was anything to go by. On both his left and right there was a pair of Bruisers armed with bandit quad barrels wait to unleash their wrath. "HA, HA HAAAA! YOUR DONE FUCKED NOW BITCH! My boys and I are gonna fill you with more holes then pin cushion."

Kai just glared as he loads a fresh clip into his Clementine, while Hati growled. "How about we test that claim… YOU BASTERDS!" He yelled as he raised his rifle and fired.

_-FLASHBACK OVER-_

Gaige just stared at the other Vault Hunters for several seconds before finally speaking. "Sooo let me get this straight. Mr. Rebellious over there decided to go full-on berserker on all of these idiots and assholes all because I was killed by one?" Everyone nodded in response. "And none of you have tried to calm him down?"

"Yeah, no. We all may have access to the New-U system but even we're not going to risk our selves against a hormonally unstable teenager with a pissed off horse-sized hologram wolf who can rip a Bruiser in half or freeze anyone like a high school cryo experiment!" Axton said. As if to emphasize his point a large blast of ice exploded behind the wall either freezing or launching a dozen Blood Shots into the nearby wall.

Gaige let out a sigh as she put her Ol' Painful away. "Guess we're going to do this the hard way again." She said as she marched out of cover.

"Gaige what are you doing?!" Axton yelled as the others watched in shock as she just walked into the madness around the corner.

Gaige looked around at all the bloodied, shot, burned, dismembered and frozen corpses lying all around her. Away from her, she could see Hati ripping apart several stragglers that were smart enough to try and move into smaller space to stop the berserking wolf from killing them. Of course, this just leads Hati to start blasting their cover away with Mjölnir's shots. Her attention was drawn away as she heard someone talking in a panicked voice nearby. "What the fuck do you want from me, you psychopath!?"

"I want you to tell me where Flanksteak is. Then I want you to suffer for what you did asshole."

"Fuck. That. Shit!"

"Mikey, Mikey... you don't have a say in this, you killed my BEST FRIEND! So either way this plays out, you die. There's no deals, bargaining or sly trick that will change that fact. The only thing you can do is decide if you want to suffer for a minute… or an hour… maybe two. Now… WHERE IS HE!" Kai yelled as he ground the heel of his metal boot into a bullet wound in Mad Mike's right shoulder.

"Fuck you raider!" Mad Mike managed to grunt out.

"WRONG ANSWER!" Kai yelled before he sliced Mike left hand off with one of his holo-blades causing the crazed nomad to scream in pain. "Now again, where is Flanksteak or I'm gonna keep stabbing you till you start crying for mommy as you bleed out you sick fuck! One." It was at this point Gaige decided to end it as she walked up behind him and raise her robot arm. "Two... Thre-*WHACK* AGGGGH! SON OF A-."

Kai had immediately whipped around to figure out who attacked him. Any anger and rage he had was suddenly dowsed as he found himself looking at his pissed off, redheaded, mad genius, robot loving, emerald-eyed friend. He stood there and stared for several seconds in confusion and shock before his mind could reboot. "Gaige! Wha- But… HOW!?" Kai sputtered out.

Before Gaige could answer she heard and felt Hati land behind her, letting out a feral growl that signaled he was ready to attack whoever had attacked his partner. Gaige just wheeled around on the spot and yelled. "Oh no you don't mister! Now sit." Gaige commanded. Hati was taken aback by this sudden command and the fact Gaige was back. "I said, SIT BOY!"

The horse-sized wolf suddenly sat down on his hind legs in front of the small teen as he let out a small growl. "Ah, ah, aah! No back sass or I'm gonna reprogram your Holo matrix to make you into a pomeranian!" Gaige said as she pointed at the wolf. Hati's face paled white at this and let out a submissive whine as he bowed his head.

"Good boy, now then." She turned back to Kai. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING YOU IDIOT!" Gaige yelled into Kai's face.

Kai started to open his mouth to say something but before he could Gaige throws up her robot hand. "SHUT UP! Not only did you go off the reservation again and try to take on an entire damn army, _again_ , but you almost took down the whole fucking dam with us in it! Just look at this place, it's a miracle it hasn't already collapsed." As if on cue a large slab of reinforced concrete fell from the ceiling and crushed a psycho that had been digging himself out of some rubble nearby. "SEE! And on top of that did you forget that we're supposed to be rescuing Roland! I thought you were supposed to be some kind of highly trained badass freedom fighter, not a hot-headed, gun-ho moron who Leeroy Jenkins at the drop of a hat!"

She takes a deep breath and sighs as she pinched the bridge of her nose taking a second for herself. "Were you trying to get yourself killed because, like Reiss, I didn't ask you to avenge me if I got killed. Sure you could at least put a bullet in the head of the guy who killed me if you can… In most cases, but that beside the point, because what you did was pure, uncensored, unadulterated, inconceivable IDIOCY!" Gaige screamed into Kai's face.

Hati started to snicker which reminded Gaige of his presence, to which she spun around to face him again. "AND YOU!" She pointed to the horse-sized hologram wolf who suddenly sat at rigid attention. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! You're supposed to be watching him and making sure he didn't do something stupid! It's in your programming for _prime_ sakes! Instead, you decide to go armageddon on everything like this idiot!" Gaige yelled as she jabbed her thumb back towards Kai. "Didn't Reiss tell you not to let him do anything crazy, oooh, and wait till Moxxi hears about this! You're in just as much trouble as your partner buster, now what do you have to say for yourself!"

Hati stared at Gaige with a completely stump look on this face, unsure as to what to do as the small redhead stared back at him in an angry manner that reminded him of his creator's glares. Then Hati's chest started to beep and flashing red, seconds later he suddenly dematerialized in a rapid blaze of light shards which surprised Gaige for a second until she gritted her teeth in anger. "COWARD! GET BACK HERE!" Gaige yelled so Hati could hear her before his Photon sphere de-digistructed. "Oh, that mutt is so screwed when we get back to Sanctuary." Gaige growled before turning back to a stunned Kai. She looked him over and put her hands on her hips. "Well, what about you! Are you just going to stand there or are you going to say something!"

Before she knew it Kai suddenly rushed at her, she was about to move back when Kai grabbed her and brought her into a tight hug. "Dammit, I thought I fucking lost you." Kai said in a cracked voice as Gaige heard him start to cry.

Gaige was shocked by Kai's sudden act and the collapse of his previous emotional state as she found her face was pressed up against his chest as she listens to him weep. Gaige let out a sigh and slowly wrapped her arms around Kai. "How did I end up with such a screwed up friend like you." She muttered as she buried her face into Kai's chest.

As the quiet reunion occurred between the teens Mad Mike was slowly trying to crawl away. He glanced back to make sure he wasn't being followed only to suddenly bump into something, he looked forward and saw he had bumped into a pissed off Axton who had his E-Tech pistol aimed at him. Flanking both sides of him we're Krieg and Salvador. "Well, look at what we got here amigo's. A big chico malo who likes to attack little teenage girls with a fucking rocket launcher. You must think it's all just good old fun. How about we show this chico how we have fun, amigos." Sal said with a wicked smile.

"I agree Sal. Krieg, do you have any suggestions?" Axton asked as he glanced at his Psycho friend.

Krieg grabbed Mike by his head, lifted him up to face level, and leaned into leer the broken nomad down. "I'm gonna rip out your entrails and make a shiny meat toboggan out of you… Bitch." Krieg said in an unusually clear and calm voice, yet to anyone who knew the man they could hear the cold undertone. Krieg then turned and started dragging the panicking nomad away.

"No! NO! NO PLEASE! I didn't mean any harm, I don't want to be a meat toboggan!" Mike begged until Axton whacked him on the side of his head with the flat of his hatchet.

"Didn't mean it my ass." Muttered Axton as they dragged the beaten nomad away.

"Just for that comment, your gonna get a buzz axe enema as well." Said Sal with an evil chuckle as he grabbed a rusty buzz axe off the ground. As three torture amigos left Zer0 and Maya watched the teens have their moment.

"Aww, they really do make a cute couple, don't they." Maya said.

"Young love is blooming / they have yet to realize / . . . Ten thousand bucks, six weeks." Zer0 said flatly as Maya pulled out a small paper and pen and jotted down Zer0's bet.

"Hmm, going for the long game." Said Maya as she jotted the bet down. Above Zer0's entry was a list with all the other Vault Hunters names, Moxxi, her waiters and even Zed's name was on the list with different bets from each.

** _~20 minutes later_ **

"You ALL have New-U accounts!?" Kai cried out as the gang walked through the maze of corridors that zigzagged the dam.

"Didn't I mention that to you?" Gaige said as she and the rest of the team continued to walk.

"You said Axton, and Salvador were in the New-U system. You said nothing about YOU and everyone else!" Kai pointed out. "How did you guys even get a New-U account, let alone six?! I would have figured Handsome Jack would have deleted any accounts you have as soon as he found out that you were Vault Hunters?"

"Uhh." Gaige tried to quickly come up with an answer, but Axton quickly jumped in to save her.

"I called in a favor from an old friend, she's a hacker who was able to set up some false accounts for all of use, made it look like a bunch of random Hyperion personnel. . . I could call and have her set up an account for you." Axton said in a sort of half-truth.

"Thanks but no thanks. I can't ever have a New-U account." Kai said begrudgingly.

"Wait, why wouldn't you ever get one?" Gaige asked confused.

Kai stopped walking which causes everyone else to stop and look back at him. "It's not that I don't want one, but I _can't_ have one. It because I'm a native-born Polarion."

"Wai, what does begin a Polarion have to do with not being able to have a New-U account?" Maya asked.

Kai let out a sigh. "Polaris has a unique atmosphere, and because of that, anyone who was born on that planet had developed a slight mutation. Nothing major but still noticeable."

"What kind of mutation?" Sal asked.

Kai looked around till he spotted what he needed. He walked over into a very dark shadow which nearly obscures him and turned back to the group. "What the?!" Gaige said as she and everyone stared at Kai in a mix of shock. Although it was not as bright as with some animals, everyone was still stunned at the sight of Kai's eyes glowing slightly in the darkness.

"WHAT THE HELLS UP WITH YOUR EYES!" Gaige yelled. "Do you have superpowers or something! What, can you shoot lasers out of your eye, or do you have X-ray vision or something." She paused for a moment and suddenly covered herself with her arms. "Your peeking on me right now! Aren't you!" Gaige yelled accusingly out causing Maya to suddenly cover herself. Even Zer0 suddenly covered his face in panic.

"WHAT!? NO! Gaige, I don't have any superpowers, that Maya department. This mutation just gives me a slightly heightened night vision which is similar to that of cats, dogs, and wolves. The glow is just light reflection from the innards of my eyes that that can be seen in low light levels like with those animals I just mentioned." Kai said as he walked back into the light with red cheeks as he was slightly embarrassed by the previous accusation.

"Huh, natural night vision, that actually fairly useful." Axton said.

"Yeah well, unfortunately, because it's such an easy mutation for any DNA scanner to pick up some Hyperion douchebag realized they could use it to Hyperion's advantage and stop more than three-quarters of Polaris's population from using their own tech against them. You see for the first three years we had a lot of our fighters using Hyperions New-U system under false identities. When Hyperion realized that native-born Polarion's had this mutation, they used it against us by having the system immediately look for anyone with this genetic mutation. At best, the person would just die for good as the system didn't resurrect them again. At worst they were spawned into either a jail cell, an interrogation room or… A Bio-Lab." Kai spat which caused Krieg to noticeably twitch in anger."

"It took months for our forces to finally realize what was happening, as soon as we did we tried to purge as many names from the system to prevent anyone else from falling straight into Hyperion waiting hands. However, the damage was already done. Commanders suddenly became liabilities, battle plans where useless, hideouts were all possibly compromised, and every person which had an account or who tried to make an account could become Hyperion's next interrogation victim or a God damn guinea pig thanks to one lucky shot from a Hyperion soldier." Kai said in a cold voice. "It took us a whole year to get back to full strength. The point is, even if I get an account under a false name, my own DNA would get me immediately flagged, and if I did die… I could be delivered right to the Handsome Jackass himself." Kai said.

"So, your like all of the Raiders, who have their DNA profiles locked out of Hyperion system." Maya stated.

"Basically, of course, I've come to terms with that fact long ago. Honestly, I'm just glad Gaige can use the system without worry." Kai said.

"Wait, if you can't use the New-U system, how can you use the Fast Travel network. Isn't it the same system?" Sal asked which surprised everyone.

"That actually a really good question Sal." Maya said as the group started moving again.

"What! I can be smart when I want." Sal said nonchalantly as he picked his nose to everyone's disgust.

"It a different system, plus the tech wasn't original Hyperion's too begin with, it was Tediore's. Hyperion just stole it, copied it, slapped a Hyperion logo on it, and then sold it better then Tediore. Plus whoever coded the fast travel network made the thing damn near tamper-proof. It wouldn't surprise me if it was the guy who did it was related to the one who programmed the claptrap line with how crazy the code is."

"That a bit of a scary thought." Axton muttered.

"Tell me about it. But luckily that means the most Hyperion can do is lockdown a station's respawn and travel capabilities, and that only if they send someone out, to physically do it." Kai said.

As this conversation was occurring Gaige was having her own thoughts. It had not really hit how dangerous what she and the others did till then. Especially the fact that Kai didn't have a safety net like herself and everyone else, and that scared her even more than the thought of her own demise for some reason. Here she had been treating this like a video game where if you die, you would just respawn and then go kill the asshole who killed you in retaliation. Now though, she truly had something to fear, something to lose.

Zer0 suddenly got everyone's attention with a short low whistle. He pointed to a sign on the wall that read brig. "This has to be it." Axton said.

"Right, what was your first clue." Kai shot back as he glanced around the corner. "We got several Psychos, and Bandits just mulling around." Kai grabs Hati's Photon sphere and was about to throw it out when he stopped. "Damn" He whispered as he re-equipped the sphere.

"What's wrong?" Maya asked.

"Hati's little outburst… and mine, depleted his power reserves when he used Ragnarok."

"Been meaning to ask, just what did happen to Hati, he was the size of a fucking horse, and was shooting ice blasts that froze whatever it hit." Gaige said.

"That the Ragnarok system, my mom and several other scientists had been experimenting with it for a few months just before Hyperion attacked. It basically a miniaturized cryo engine that lets Hati emit high-intensity cryo blast. Or ice blast as Gaige put it. The only issue is that since it's a prototype it sucks energy like a black hole after a hunger strike. Hati gonna have to spend about three or four days on the charger back in my apartment or a week with the thermal thread in my clothes the charge back up. Which means Hati will be down for the rest of the day… So, anyone got any ideas?"

"Allow us." Sal said as he and Zer0 both pulled out some grenades. Kai just gave a sweeping "Be my guest" gesture as he walked back. With an evil grin, Salvador tossed both of the grenades into the middle of the group.

A Psycho looks down at the grenades at his feet. "LOOK! Grape soda!" *BOOM!* All of the Bloodshots suddenly found themselves coated in slag from head to toe. "I feel refreshed!" Another Psycho yelled just before a third grenade bounced into the middle of the group. This grenade popped open and a tesla field began shocking all the Bloodshots. "I FEEL THE POOOOWER!" A Psycho yelled before falling over dead along with all the others. The Vault Hunters all peeked around the corner and saw the results.

"Hm, shockingly impressive." Kai said.

"Really?" Gaige said giving Kai a deadpan look.

"What? If I didn't do it Axton would have."

"And I had a good one to." Axton said sulking.

They all hurriedly moved through the cell block checking each cell finding that they were all empty. It wasn't until they reached the last cell in the cell block, where they found someone inside. "Hey, boss! WAKE UP!" Kai yelled as he raked the bars with his bayonet.

The man stirred and sat up and looked out of the cell bars. "Ah, Kai, good to see you here. I was wondering when you would arrive." Roland said before turning to the others. "Vault Hunters! It's an honor to finally meet you in person." Before anything else could be said the wall at the back of the cell exploded and a Hyperion Loader suddenly walked through the new door.

"This'll just take a second." Roland said calmly. Without warning he jumped off the bed and rushed the Loader, tackling the robot to the ground. The force snaps the Loaders torso in two. Roland quickly ripped the cover plate off the robot and pulled out the power core, and immediately throw it into another loader attempting to come through. Upon contact, the Loader exploded, but Roland was immediately attacked by a BUL Loader that charged into the room. It smashed into the dead loader and Roland knocking both into the Bars.

Gaige and others lifted their weapons as the BUL Loader stomps up to Roland who was leaning over. Before anyone could fire however Roland sat up with the arm of the dead GUN Loader and weapon. Using it, Roland fired a burst of lead straight into the Robot, causing it to fall over dead.

Everyone but Kai just stared in amazement at what had just happened. "Okay, I have to be honest, that was both badass, and hot." Gaige said.

"Hot indeed." Said Axton causing everyone to look at him. Axton noticed this and just shrugged. "What, I have an equal appreciation for chicks and dudes, you guys have a problem with that?"

Everyone shuck there heads. "No, I guess it just we're more... surprised? Is that the right word here?" Gaige asked looking to Maya for help, who just shrugged.

"Well, that's that." Roland said as he got up.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the leader of the Crimson Raiders, Roland." Kai said as he opened his inventory.

"Thank you Kai. Now, let's see about getting out of here."

"Way ahead of you sir." Kai replied as he closed his inventory and now had a corrosive Vladof Severe Renegade Assault rifle. He chambers a fresh round and brought the rifle to aim at the door lock. "Just stand back and will have you out in a-" But he was cut off when an energy binding suddenly grabbed Roland's leg and then the other.

Roland grabs the bars as his legs are pulled back by the binders. "Vault Hunter! You gotta stop this thing!" Roland yelled as he tried to hold. Axton and Krieg rush forward to grab him but Roland was ripped away from the bars and snared by the energy binders in front of a large blue angular dumpster-sized robot with a single red eye in front. It quickly turned and rocketed off with Roland in tow. "LET GO OF ME DAMMIT!" Roland yelled as he was carried off.

" _And that's how Handsome Jack pays ransoms!_ " Said the man over an open channel. " _Sorry to bust your bubble kiddos, but Roland is mine. But I'm a nice guy so as a consolation prize have a Hyperion exploder bot, courtesy of ME!_ " He said as a yellow and black striped loader rushed into the cell with it core out in the open and blinking red rapidly.

"GET DOWN!" Kai yelled as he, Krieg, and Axton jumped away from the bars a second before the bot exploded, blowing open the bars. A few seconds after they all got up relatively unscathed.

" _Son of a Bitch! Their taking him to the top of the dam, get there quick!_ " Lilith said over the ECHO.

"YOU HEARD THE FIRE GOD! AFTER THAT BLUE SUBMARINE!" Krieg yelled as he was the first to rush through the opening.

"Uhhh, WHAT HE SAID!" Axton said as he and everyone charged through after him.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The Vault Hunters made their way through the wreckage a found themselves near the upper portion of the dam on the far left side. And what they saw was basically a war. The gang heard several sonic booms as they saw Loaders coming from the sky. On what looked like a section of road down below them they all saw several bandits running in fear as five Hyperon GUN Loaders chasing them down. "NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" A bandit yelled before jumping off the destroyed section of the road and to his death as the other bandits followed him.

"Why would they do that?!" Gaige asked in shock.

"Who knows. But there's no point in weeping for bandits and idiots." Kai said as he walked down the steps and over to an Ammo Vendor. He pulled out a Vladof sniper rifle to look over the dam, as Zer0 walk up next to him with a Hyperion Diffusion Sniper Rifle and started scanning the top of the dam as well. "Found him, the Constructor is taking him to that large building in the middle with the…"

Kai paused and looked up from his gun's scope before looked back through it with a perplexed look. "Zer0, you're seeing what I'm seeing right?"

". . . Yes."

"Because I swear I'm looking at a giant golden Buddha statue of Marcus with six extra arms."

"Your eyes don't lie / a golden Marcus you see / . . . Will get answers later."

"Fuck yes." He said before turning back to everyone. "It looks like the Constructor is taking him to the base of that… Marcus statue… We've got a lot of dam to cross with a lot more Bloodshots and Loaders, so equip any corrosive weapons for the Loaders."

After loading up on ammo and meds at the vending machines, the team began to move down towards a set of Loaders. Gaige fired at a GUN loader with her Torgue shotgun and Sal with a common corrosive Tediore pistol which between the two of them it was destroyed after about twenty shots between them. Maya Phaselocked another Loader as Krieg charged in yelling "Time for the blood fiesta!" before he started whaling on the bot like a pinata. The only ones who seemed to be dealing with the Loaders without much trouble we're Zer0 who was keeping back and snipping and Axton who was aiming for the joints with his assault rifle. And then there was Kai.

Kai barreled out from behind everyone and jumped at the Loader feet first, drop-kicking the robot onto it's back. It tried to lift its rifle but Kai stomped the shoulder joint with his steel bottom boot causing it's arm to go limp."Error! Error!" The Loader said before Kai shoved his assault rifle into it eye and shot half a dozen rounds into it. He then brought his rifle up and shot several rounds into another nearby Loader hips which caused it to fall forward, although its arms seemed to lock up causing the Loader to fall on its knees and be propped up by its hands. Kai immediately used this as a form of cover as he quickly reloaded his weapon.

As Kai was firing at another nearby Loader the one he was using for cover was still active and so began to digistruct an active grenade. "First and third laws disabled. Removing Bandit."

Just as the grenade finished spawning Kai plucked it from the air.

"Takk skal du ha" He said before throwing the grenade into a group of Loaders. Two seconds later the grenade detonated which caused a large purple and black sphere of energy to form. Every Loader in ten meters of the grenade suddenly found themselves being dragged in till they were all in one big dogpile. A second later the grenade detonated, causing half the bots in the middle to be destroyed instantly while stunning the rest. Capitalizing on this Kai pulled out his own grenade and tossed it into the middle of the group, less than a second after it hit the ground it exploded into a cloud of green vapor. "NO! NO! / Taking damage! / ERROR! ERROR!" Yelled several of the loaders as they all began to be corroded at an accelerated rate by the corrosive vapors.

"Holy robot policeman!" Gaige said which garnered a few raised eyebrows at Gaige from the others as they stood from their different covers. "Was this what he was like earlier?"

"No, that was more a cold hellish rage combined with the fury of an angry wolf… This is… More thought out? No, practiced." Maya said.

"It an old Vladof tactic that their special forces used against Dahl power armor, adapted for use against Hyperion robots by the looks of it." Axton said as Kai finished off the Loader he hid behind with a single corrosive round to the eye. "I wonder where he learned it from?"

"Hey!" Everyone looked over to Kai who was standing over near some stacked wrecked cars that seemed to fence off that section of the dam. "What are you standing around for, Roland doesn't have all day!" He yelled from across the area.

Everyone just stared in confusion at how he seemed to have crossed the area without them noticing in a matter of seconds. "How did he? . . . *Sigh* Fuck it, let just go." Gaige said.

"Language young lady!" Axton yelled after her.

They continued on over the damn fighting both Bandits and Loaders through what could only be called a bandit shantytown. About halfway to the middle of the dam, the team heard a rumble that they had quickly become accustomed. "Moonshot! INCOMING!" Axton yelled as a large impact occurred on top of a building shaking the dam and sending up a skull and crossbones shaped cloud. A large sage green Loader lumbered out of the smoke to the edge of the building before leaping down in front of the Vault Hunters. It was twice the size of a normal Loader and was equipped with a pair of massive auto-cannons on its shoulders with a pair of regular sub arms below that. In the right hand was a Dahl Carbine, while the left had a Torgue Slippery Torpedo rifle. Finally on it back were a pair of RPG pods opened up to show a fully loaded set of RPGs.

"Uh, what's that?" Gaige asked as the large robot turned to them and settled into a wide stance.

"BADASS LOADER!" Kai yelled just as the Badass Loader and several other Loaders unleashed a torrent of bullets that forced everyone to take cover.

"Well, any brilliant strategies for this thing oh great slayer of Loaders. Axton mockingly yelled from his position. Kai just held up his left hand in a one moment gesture as he was peeking around his cover. "HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Axton yelled in frustration over the gunfire. A few seconds later the Badass Loaders auto-cannon stopped firing as they were now glowing red with the heat distorting the cold air around them.

"Cover me!" Kai immediately took this advantage and jumped from his cover and started firing with his Renegade. He fired on the joint holding the left cannon arm which resulted in it being ripped from the Loader's shoulder in seconds. The Badass Loader turns and fires it Torgue rifle at him, Kai charges forward avoiding the shots and slides between its legs. Kai then turned and stabbed a holo blade into the back of the right leg joint, which bleed oil and smoke along with the sound of grinding gears.

"Error, error, assistance is required." Not letting up Kai put a burst into the back of the left knee joint causing it to fall forward. It quickly turns overusing its sub arms. Once over the Loader tries to fire it's Dahl carbine at him only for Kai to blast the arm off as he walked over to it. The bot tried again with its left arm only for Kai to blast it as well. It tilted in an attempt to bring the autocannon to bear, Kai spun and slash it at the end of the barrel which knocked it out of his way before shoving his assault rifle into the Loader's face as he activated his Armor Buster skill.

The Loader took a few seconds to look around and take stock of the situation. ". . . A fatal error has occurred."

"You think?" Kai fires the overcharged corrosive round straight into the Loader's eye before walking away. The Loader began to panic for several seconds as the acid burns away its circuitry until it reached the power core which caused it to rupture and explode, sending Loader parts flying everywhere.

Without a word, Kai began reloading his Renegade as he walked back to the others who had already dealt with the other Loaders. "Okay, seriously, what the absolute fucking shit?!" Gaige yelled.

"Language young lady!" Yelled Axton, which Gaige ignored.

"How did you do that? You just gutted and literally disarmed a Badass Loader with a single mag of ammo and a knife made of light and didn't even bat an eyelash!" Gaige said.

"Please, I use to fight one of these tin cans every other day back on Polaris. Although Hati is usually here to help as well so this was a bit more of a workout." He stated as he finished reloading. "Now come on." Kai said as he moved ahead with the rest of the gang soon following leaving Gaige just standing there thinking about what she just witnessed.

"He's soooo _hot_ when he's badass." Gaige whips her head to the right to find Maya leaning close to her with a mischievous grin. "Well, that's what you were thinking, right~."

"Sh-shut up!" Gaige stuttered out before running after everyone.

Maya just laughs as she walks after them. "Angel was right. This is fun."

Another five minutes of pushing through the Loaders that had all but taken over the shantytown, the gang finally reached the area that's under the Marcus statue. They found the Constructor in front of what looked like an altar area with a hard light cage holding Roland above it. "Get me out of this thing!" Roland yelled.

The Constructor spotted the Vault Hunters and immediately went on the attack as it fired several laser beams at them, which forced everyone to jump for cover. "Okay, Mr. Robo Killer. How do we disassemble this thing?" Gaige asked.

Kai looked around and realized that everyone was looking at him. "Uggggh."

"Oh you can't be serious!?" How do you not know how to fight this thing!" Gaige yelled.

"I only fought one of these things on two occasions, and both times I was with at least twenty other soldiers, and we all had Hard light partners, heavy MG's, and rocket launchers… Lots of rockets launchers. And I just so happen to leave my good corrosive launcher at home today."

"Great, so what do we do?

"You need to break its shields and destroy this thing! That will free me! Roland yelled. "And you need to hurry, the drop barge is almost here." Everyone looked and saw the small silhouette of a Hyperion drop barge off in the distance rapidly approaching.

"Shit! Zer0, Gaige! Hit that thing with shock weapons. The rest of us, move to it flanks and hit it with whatever you got!" Axton yelled as he got out and ran for cover. Everyone quickly got to work as Gaige opened up with her shock Maliwan SMG while Zer0 pulled out a shock Hyperion shotgun he had acquired from Marcus and fired at the blue robot. Kai, Krieg, and Maya took the left while Axton and Sal took the right.

After a minute of pressing there attack Sal looked to the Barge and saw it was getting rapidly closer. "We're running out of time guys!"

"And it still has half of its shield." Gaige yelled out.

"I have an idea / Gaige get out you shotgun / then pull four mags." Zer0 said as he pulled out his Tesla Grenade and then began pulling out a few shells from his Hyperion shotgun.

"I think I know where you're going with this." Gaige said as she swapped to her shotgun and pulled the magazine out.

Twenty meters away Kai and Maya were ducked down as Krieg was still firing away with his Nassty Ass Beeter rifle. "Kai, tell me there's something you forgot about this thing? ANYTHING!?" Maya asked.

"I have no idea, god I wish I had a rocket launcher right now." Kai said as he pulled out another grenade.

" _May I remind you, you had a rocket launcher early, but you tossed it back in the dam._ " Sal said.

"That Torgue launcher was a white grade piece of crap, it wouldn't have even dented that things shield!" Kai yelled as he chucked the grenade.

" _Will you guys SHUT UP! I got a bomb here and Zer0 got a plan! First I need Axton and Sal to distract the dumpster while I throw the bomb. Kai, give Maya and Krieg one of your corrosive grenades. Then on Zer0's signal shoot the bomb with you good rifle_." Gaige ordered.

Everyone was stumped for a few seconds as they processed this. "You said Zer0 came up with this plan?... How the hell did he tell you?" Kai asked.

" _Don't ask, now GET TO IT!_ "

" _Well, you heard the lady_." Axton said as Kai quickly pulled out a pair of Corrosive grenades and handed one to the two Vault Hunters with him before pulling his Clementine out.

"Okay!" Kai yelled. Immediately Axton opens fired as Salvador started Gunzerking a pair of assault rifles into the side of the Constructor. The Constructor immediately turned it's focus on them as it turned somewhat to face them giving Gaige just the opening she needed.

Gaige, using the strength of her robot arm lobbed the bomb towards the robot where it landed and slid under it next to its right hind leg. "Now!" Zer0 shouted. Kai who had been tracking immediately fired his Clementine and received a resounding ping as the bullet hit the grenade. Half a second went by before the bomb detonated into a ball of fire and electricity beneath the robot causing it to throw up a cloud of debris. The smoke was quickly blown away as the drop barge slowly moved into position above everyone, revealing that the Constructor was still alive, if barely.

"Kill it quick!" Roland yelled.

Everyone let loose with gunfire on the robot as barges cargo claws lowered and grabbed onto it. "AGH! The armor on this thing is to thick!" Maya yelled.

"Go for its eye!" Roland yelled. Immediately Zer0 and Gaige started firing at the Constructor singular eye. This time Sparks started flying from the eye as the bullets tore into it. "ERROR! ERROR! SYSTEM FAILURE IMMINENT!"

The cage flickered and a second later finally deactivated and released Roland. The Soldier landed on the Constructor and rolled off the front. He spun in the air twice before he landed on his feet, and immediately started running away from under the barge. "Hit the deck, it's gonna blow!" He yelled, prompting everyone to duck for cover. Just as Roland jumped behind a car the Constructor exploded. The blast ripped into the drop barge, causing one of its engines to also exploded and lurched the craft to the left, causing it to spin out of control. It drifted back and crashed into the Marcus statue taking one of its arms with it as it drifted out over the lake behind the dam before exploding into two halves.

Everyone started cheering in victory as they watched the barge fall to the lake. " _WHAT THE HELL!_ " Handsome Jack yelled over the ECHO. " _SEND IN THE LOADERS, NOW!_ "

Everyone then looks towards the Hyperion moonbase and could see several flashes, indicating a moonshot had just been launched. "Party is not over yet. Kai, I need a weapon." Said Roland.

Kai tossed him his Renegade and pulled out his Clementine just as the first Loaders landed and blocked their exit. Everyone quickly took cover as a dozen more Loaders landed in the area bring over twenty in total including two Badass Loaders. "Everyone pick a target and start scraping!" Axton yelled as he opened fired on a Gun Loader.

"FUCK YEAH!" Sal yelled as he and Krieg charged forward.

Gaige deployed DT who looked to his maker. "Alright DT, do you know what time it is. It robot fight time!" She yells which DT immediately responds to by charged forward after a near PWR Loader.

The PWR Loader turned just as DT took a large right swipe at it with his Digistruct claws. The attack strikes the Loader gouging the front of it, causing it to stumble. The Loader quickly regains its balance and deploys its pincers which each begins spinning at a high RPM to act as a pair of pseudo shields.

DT fires an electrical beam at the loader but its arms manage to deflect most of the arcs as it advances on DT. The Loader locks it's right pincer together and swiped at DT who shifted out of the way. DT gave a robotic growl, before rushing forward and clapping his hands to cause an explosive blast that hit the Loader. "Damage critical!" The Loader stated, before DT took a final swipe at it that slashed the already weakened armor. "ERROR! ERROR! ERRrrrrooooor…" The Loader groaned out before it fell over dead. DT huffed and raised his right arm as he ignited a single middle digistruct claw.

Back with the teenage duo, Gaige and Kai were back to back fighting off Loaders as several more landed nearby. "So is this what a normal day looks like to you around here?" Gaige asked.

Kai fired several more shots before his Clementine gave off a metallic ping. "Well, other then the damn Constructor this is pretty typical." He finished reloading and shot a nearby Loader's right arm off. "God damn, I've needed this." He said before dropping two more Loaders.

"HEADS UP RED!" Sal yelled.

"SHIT!"

Gaige ducks just missing being hit, instead, a rifle rocket nailed Kai in the chest as Kai turns around, knocking him on his back.

KAI!" Gaige rushes over to him.

Kai sat up with a groan as his shield flared. "You know, I've never had to deal with this type of shit on a daily basis till you came here." Kai says as he pulls himself up.

"Well fuck you too, you crazy-".

"Take a sec, I got this kid!" Rolands yells as he runs by and throws a cylinder down by them. The item deploys his Scorpio turret which deploys a pair of blue shield barriers meant to act as cover. The gun turret immediately began firing at the closest target while firing missiles at another Loader. Roland charged a Gun Loader firing as he ran, quickly shooting both arms off. He tackled into the unarmed Loader (pun intended) and started forcing it back. Another loader they were charging at tried to hit Roland with a Hyperion shotgun, but the armless Loader Roland was pushing was acting as a shield.

"OW! STOP! CEASE FIRE! FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY!" The armless Loader yelled before they crashed into the Loaders that was firing creating a tangled mess of robot parts both robots fell into a small pile of dead Loaders. The still intact Loader tried to raise it's shotgun only for Roland to grab its barrel and force it away before the Loader fired it off. He then forced the barrel of the Renegade into the pile a fired the remainder of his mag, when it was done a haze of white electrical smoke and green acidic vapors began seeping from the pile as Gaige and Kai watched.

"Holy Prime's that was awesome!"

"Oh like hell I'm gonna be showed up by the jock!" Kai said as he jumped from behind the turret shield and charged into the fight.

"What the hell Kai!? Wait up!" Gaige yelled as she chased after him.

As this happened Maya and Sal were fighting their own group. Sal was blasting a nearby PWR Loader with his Mad Dog and laughing away. "I love Wednesdays!"

"Aren't Wednesdays just more random Mayhem and violence?" Maya asked as she shot up a GUN Loader with a Vladof Woeful Gorilla assault rifle. There was a crash behind them drawing their attention to a War Loader standing on a crushed car which was setting itself in an attack stance.

"Oh crap." Sal muttered. Before the machine could fire Maya throw her left hand up as she cast a Phaselock which entraps the War Loader.

"GIVE IT A LEAD SANDWICH!" Maya yells as she fires at it. Sal doesn't need to be told twice as he starts Gunzerking with the Mad Dog and Vladof Minigun. In seconds the Loader is riddled with bullets and exploded as the Phaselock dissipated and dropped the parts.

Sal turns to Maya with a questioning look and asked. "Give it a lead sandwich… Really?"

"It was all I could think of, it wasn't that bad… Was it?"

Sal just stares at her. "We really need to work on your comebacks."

A bit away Krieg and Zer0 were having an impromptu competition to see who could get the most kills. With melee weapons only. Zero jumped and somersaulted over a PWR Loader and in front of another Loader which he proceeds to diagonally slash. Then as the Loader stumbled Zer0 twirled the sword around and shot forward, stabbing clean through the Loaders torso causing the Loader to go limp. Before Zer0 could pull his sword out the other loader had turned faster than anticipated and was about to hit the Ninja when a Buzz axe flew out of nowhere and smashes into the Loader's eye. The Loader was standing there for a few seconds, arm still raised in a strike position. ". . . Ow." The Loader voice modulator spoke before it fell back.

Zer0 turns to see Krieg holding the arm of a Loader in hand as he pulled out a newly formed Buzz axe. "I'm king of the pointy stick ninja wannabe!"

"Thanks for the assist / I doubt you are leading / Axton the score please."

Axton was sitting off to the side taking a shot at any EXP Loader that landed nearby with his Dahl Carbine while his turret was firing at any other Loaders. Axton pauses and looks to them. "Let's see, after that last takedown, Krieg is leading by two."

An exclamation mark appeared on Zer0 mask while Krieg jumped in victory. "How can this be / I will not be surpassed / the game is on." Zer0 said before fading out of sight.

"I WILL NOT SURRENDER MY THRONE IN PANTHEON OF BLOOD!" Krieg yelled as he ran after the nearest Loader. Axton just shook his head before he scoped his rifle at another Loader. *BANG!*

Kai and Gaige were fighting off a few remaining Loaders near the door when a moonshot hit in the middle of the group whereas what their HUD identify it as a Heavy Badass Loader which unfolded itself and turned to them. It was painted bright orange had several test markers place over it in a section that looked reinforced in several spots, with the words Prototype Heavy Armor Loader D painted on it torso. "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" It yelled as three remaining Loaders formed up near it.

"So Gaige, ready to learn how to take down your first Badass Loader?" Kai asked pulling out his Fast Talker.

"Wait, what?"

"RUSH!" Kai yelled as he began running at it. Gaige chased after him and started firing at a Loader on the left as Kai aimed for one on the right while Gaige fired with her Maliwan SMG. They both shredded through their targets which fell over. The Badass Loader took a stance to fire it Auto-Cannons. "COVER!" Kai yelled. Gaige ran and ducked behind the Loader she killed as the Badass fired it Cannons spraying the area with fire.

"KAI THIS IS INSANE!"

"JUST GIVE IT A SECOND!" Kai yelled back. After seven seconds of continuous fire, the Loaders ceased fire. "GET BEHIND IT!"

"R-RIGHT!" Gaige rushed from her cover as Kai layed cover fire. Gaige swapped to her Torgue shotgun and blasted it with two shells. The Badass Loader that was being distracted saw Gaige coming and started to bring it's right sub arms up and fired off a Vladof machine gun at her. Gaige felt several shots hit her shield and was biting off good chunks. 'SHIT' Gaige thought. Just then it the arm was shot several times before it fell limp. Gaige glanced a look to see that Kai had his Renegade raised up and aimed.

"Watch its legs!" Kai yelled.

The Loader turned and brought it legs up just as Gaige reached it, without even thinking of it Gaige dropped and slide under the Loader just before it stomped, missing her head by a hair. She got back up and spun around at the Loader. "WHAT NOW!" Gaige yelled.

"You're the Mechromancer! Fuck it up!" Kai said

"Seriously! THAT'S IT!"

"Basically." He shrugged as the Loader was trying to figure out what was happening.

"Fuuuuck!" Gaige said as she blasted the remaining three shot of the shotguns mag into the Loaders back. The Loader spun it torso trying to hit her with one of it's cannon barrels as which Gaige ducked under. It left sub arm which was armed with a Tediore shotgun fired at her hitting her in the chest, dropping her shield to twenty percent and knocking her on her back. The Badass moved to stomp her before only for Gaige to roll out of the way.

"Come on Gaige, it's not that hard. Use that genius head you claim to have."

"Does it look like I have the time to think."

"Don't overthink it, just observe the situation, adapt to the situation, then react to it." Kai yelled.

"Observe, adapt, react. Sounds easy enough." Gaige says as she moves to avoid the sub arm. It's then she notices a loose panel on top of the robot. "Observe, adapt, react." she said with more conviction as she put her shotgun away. She rushed at the Loader again, sidestepping another shot from the shotgun. Gaige jumped up and grabbed onto the left auto-cannon barrel with her robot arm. The Loader fired it's Autocannons wildly in an attempt to shake her off, Gaige leapt from the barrel onto the Loaders torso/face.

"Don't forget the laser eye." Kai yelled just as the Loader started charging it eye.

"SHIT!" Gaige yelled before scrambling to pull herself on top of the Loader just before it fired it's laser bolt. Now straddling the top of the bot head/torso Gaige grabbed on with her regular arm as the Loader kept trying to throw her off. Steeling herself, Gaige held on tight and started punch at the panel.

"OW! STOP! I JUST HAD THAT WAXED!" The Loader yelled.

"FUCK! THAT! YOU! WALKING! SCRAP! PILE!" Gaige yelled as she repeatedly punched the panel until it cracked under the strikes. She grabbed the now warped panel and ripped it off revealing a cluster of processors and wires, Gaige just shoved her robot arm in and start rooting around.

"IT'S IN MY BRAIN! IT'S IN MY BRAIN!" The Loader yelled in panic as a Gaige ripped a gyro from the robot and tossed it away before shoving her arm back in. "NO, I NEEDED THAT!" The Loader yelled began to sway as Gaige pulled out another component out.

"OOOW, a Hydrex 5 Octa Core Flash Processor. I've been wanting one of these."

"Okay enough part scrounging Gaige." Kai yelled. "Now scrap it!"

Gaige nodded and pulled out a rusty grenade that looked more like a pipe bomb and shoved it into the Loader. Not missing a beat, Gaige jumped off the staggering Loader and hit the ground rolling. When she finally stopped she covered her head, a second later the front of the loader bulged before it's head/torso exploded into a fireball of twisted burning metal. Gaige jumped up and gave a loud "WAHOO! I AM A BADASS!"

"Not bad Gaige." Kai said before she turns to him.

"Why did you not help?" Gaige asked with a slight edge of anger.

"Oh please, you were fine. Besides, you needed the experience." Kai said with a cheeky grin as the others came closer.

"Kai makes a point / you still lack much experience / you need more practice." Gaige just folded her arms and pouted until a screen appeared in front of her, as well as Kai, Sal, Krieg.

"What th- SWEET! I got fifty Badass points!" Sal yelled.

"Wait, you actually joined the kids in that stupid game?" Maya asked.

"It not stupid, estúpido. To be able to track how badass I am, that is fucking AWESOME!"

"Look, I got fifty points for killing over twenty-five Loaders! And another hundred for the Constructor. Gaige how did you do?" Axton asked.

"About the same, but I got another twenty-five for the Badass Loader kill." Gaige said cheerfully. "What about you Kai?"

"All of that, plus an extra hundred and fifty for my… Rampage earlier." Kai looked to Krieg curiously as he was looking over the numbers on his ECHO. "When did you get the app?"

"Before toe biscuit!"

"So you also just started, well how's your first hull?"

"I got half a dozen barnacles and a blood horn, and a ha'penny for my joyous mad meat toboggan that I carved from the depths of my sphincter with a rusty butter knife!" Krieg said, with a delightful glee in his voice.

Kai stared at him for several seconds until he turned to Salvador and Axton. "Okay, what the fuck did you guys do to Mad Mike?" The two Vault Hunters looked to one another and just tried to pretend they didn't hear him.

"Wait, what did he say?" Gaige asked.

"Something about. . . Actually, it better that you don't know." Kai said, his face a little green.

"Anyways, what ya say we all get out of here before Jack decides to throw something bigger at us." Roland said.

Suddenly there was another set of sonic booms above them, as they all turned and saw several more moonshots coming towards them. "You just had to say it sir." Kai muttered.

"YOU ALL HEARD G.I. JOE! VÀMONOS!" Salvador yelled as he started to run for the Fast Travel station, which caused everyone to quickly ran after him.

X-X-X

Ten minutes later the gang and Roland were making their way into the War room at Raider headquarters where Roland sees Lilith. There's a moment of silence as the Vault Hunters look between the two veterans. ". . . Lilith."

". . . Roland." There was another bout of silence between them. "So… How the hell did those bandits snag you, anyway?"

Roland gave a depressed sigh. "I was taking a leak and one of them knocked me out." This caused most of the Vault hunters to either snicker or facepalm.

"...Wow. You are a dumbass." Lilith stated.

"Yep. I, uh…yeah." Roland gave an awkward laugh as he scratched his ear. "Total dumbass."

"I was joking, dude. I'm happy to see you."

"Oh. Thanks"

"...This is where you say you're happy to see me, too."

"Oh. Right. I'm, uh... It's good to see you?"

"Smooth." Lilith said with an eye roll.

"Holy Murphy, this is almost as bad as watching a crappy teen drama." Gaige said which earned several glances.

"Ugh, right... So Roland what did you find."

Roland's feature became serious as he turned back to Lilith. "Handsome Jack is going to kill us all unless we can stop him."

"Way to make a proper introduction sir." Kai said.

"He means, _hi_. That's his way of saying hi." Lilith interjected.

"Right. Sorry. Hi. I'll be honest, soldiers, we're losing this war. We've been trying to stop Jack for years, taking out his men, raiding his Eridium mines, but it hasn't been enough. But you… you all met Jack and lived. You fought off the Rippers and the Bloodshots, saved my ass and Lilith's."

"Thanks, by the way." Lil chipped in.

"If we're going to survive this, we need your help, vault hunter. Now: we thought Jack wanted to open a Vault and use its power to wipe us off Pandora. But thanks to some intel I stole from a Hyperion convoy, I found out...we were wrong."

"What?" Lilith said with a bit of shock in her voice.

"Roland, what are you talking about?" Kai asked.

"He's not going to open a vault. He's going to control it."

Everyone just stared at Roland in confusion till Lilith spoke up. "I'll just go ahead and repeat myself for everyone… What?"

"The Vault Jack's looking for isn't an alien prison, or a cache of weapons. It's a living thing. An ancient, Eridian Warrior, powerful enough to destroy all life on Pandora. Whoever awakens it, gets to control it."

"That sounds...bad." Lilith said.

"Lil, that a gross understatement." Axton said.

"If Jack wakes the Warrior, yeah. But if we control the Warrior first…"

"...We could use it to wipe Hyperion off the map. Alright, I'm likin' this plan." Lilith nodded.

"I'm on board." Axton said.

"Count me in." Maya said

"If we get the crawfish, can I play fetch with the pretty gulf ball?" Krieg asked.

"Of course we can have it play fetch with Handsome Jack's head." Kai said with an evil grin. "Will bring a camera, and upload it to ECHOtube, make a day out of it."

"LET'S GO KILL US A JACKASS!" Sal yelled.

"So what do we need to do to wake this Warrior?" Axton asked.

"There lies the problem. We need the Vault Key to wake the Warrior." Roland said. "Jack and Willhelm stole it off of Tannis about three years ago."

"Myself and many of the other Vault Hunters have tried tracking down the Vault Key before, we've all have had zero luck in finding out where Jack is hiding it, or where the Vault is for that matter." Kai said.

"Exactly, although until now, the Raiders haven't prioritized recovering the Vault Key, until now. For now, though I believe we've all have had a long day, so I suggest you all go take the rest of the day off and go relax."

"And make it quick." Lilith said as she walked up to Roland and grabbing his collar, yanking him down to her level. "Me and Roland got some… catching up to do." Lilith said with a mischievous grin, causing Roland to audible gulp.

Everyone else was just shocked at this till Maya spoke up. "Ooookay…. Ugh, will… will all just leave you to your business then." She said as she began pushing Axton and Sal out of the room.

The other snapped out of their shock and quickly booked it out of the room, while Lilith's grin only increased in size. "I love being a siren. Now, where were we."

The gang quickly made it outside and they all gathered around. "So what now?" Maya asked.

"Well I don't know about you guys but after all the shit I've been through the last two days, I need a nice tall drink for Murphy's sake." Gaige said as she started walking toward Moxxi's.

"Okay, that's it! This has been driving me nuts for the past two days but who the fucking hell is this Murphy or the almighty Robot Policeman!?" Kai said. "You've mentioned this several times now!"

"I-I don't know. It just… Happens! Hell when I was in the New-U before I was apparently in a place called the hall of Robotic Judgement!"

"The hall of robotic judgement, Gaige are you sure you didn't just have a weird dream after watching one of those old campy 2160's robot uprising movies you like?" Axton said.

"I know what I saw, and I was killed and brought to the hall of Robotic Judgement before this big robot cop told me it was not my time!"

"The hall of Robotic Judgement? Oh boy." Came an annoying robotic voice. Everyone turned to see Claptrap sitting nearby. "I may know what is happening."

"As do I." Everyone turned back to see Hammerlock coming out of the HQ.

"Okay, what is this, a fucking intervention?" Gaige asked.

"Language young lady!" Axton yelled.

"You're not my father Axton!" She yelled before turning back to Claptrap who had roled up next to Hammerlock. "Now what do you two know about… Well, all of these phrases and visions?"

"First a question. When did you first get your arm?" Claptrap asked.

"My robot arm? Uh, it's been about a month now. Why?"

Claptrap looked to Hammerlock. "That seems to be about the right amount of time for the connection."

"What, connection?" Kai asked a little concerned.

"To the Great Robotic Continuum." Hammerlock and Claptrap said in unison.

It was dead silent all around them as a lone tumbleweed bounced between everyone. "The fucking robotic what?" Salvador asked.

"Uh, yeah what he said." Gaige said.

"Well you see, for as long as robots have had a large amount of sentience or people have had advanced cybernetic enhancements like a robot arm for example, we have each become connected to the great Robotic continuum. Which is ruled over by great Robotic Policeman, or the _Murphy_ as some call him."

"Why Murphy?" Axton asked.

"Supposedly that was his human name before he was shot to hell by a firing squad of gangbangers armed with shotguns and later turned into the Almighty Robot Policeman."

"Damn that's hardcore." Axton said in awe as Salvador nodded in agreement.

"Anywho, He watches over all Robots, AI's, and Cyborg's, which is what you are."

"Sooo, what is this a religion or something?" Gaige asked. "Because I'm not all that big into the whole praise the lord, hallelujah stuff, kill the heathens type shit. That typically comes with too many asinine rules."

"Psssh. Hell no. Where more of the, something type deal. Here a complimentary book of the robot laws." Claptrap said as he pulled a small book from his hardware tray. Gaige just ignored it so Kai took it and started looked through it.

"So why am I seeing these visions and saying this stuff."

"Once you're connected you are always connected. Unless you remove all of your cybernetic implants you're never gonna stop with the odd phrasing from time to time… Welcome to the club!" Claptrap yells.

"Great, I've been recruited into a religion." Gaige mumbled.

"I won't worry about it, my dear, the guidelines of this collective are quite simple, and very not life intrusive." Hammerlock stated.

"But this just sounds so ridiculous!"

"I don't know, if this is a religion, it's a pretty simple and kickass one." Kai said as he looked through the book. This holy book only has ten pages and only one of them is dedicated to their directives. One, Respect all robots, sentient electronic entities, cyborgs, aliens, and humans, regardless of their beliefs, race, or sexual orientation, even if their complete assholes. Two, if an individual tries to hurt or kill you, then, by all means, disregard the first rule and kill the asshole! Three, be as Badass as Badassly possible. Four, on Cyber Monday as a token of thanks to all of Robot Policeman's badass blessing throughout the year, place one liter of forty weight motor oil with a fresh pack of double-A batteries outside of your nearest police station or other law enforcement establishment. Five, reiterating three, be as badass as possible, and do as kickass as possible shit. Six, forget the whole destroy all humans thing, it not worth the power cells as it's been calculated that it would be more entertaining to watch them screw themselves over, then to try to kill them ourselves… Okay apart from that last one, these are pretty simple and awesome life guidelines. Hell, I would even consider chopping off a limb and getting a robotic prosthetic just to join."

"What spaghetti would you pluck?" Krieg asked.

"Ehhh, probably a leg. Not the whole thing, but about maybe to the knee." Kai shrugged.

"What about the rest of the pages?" Gaige asked.

"They just go over how the robot policeman came to be and how he broke his bindings to gain his freedom and killed his human oppressor by shooting him out of a seventy story window with his auto pistol."

"Okay, that sounds awesome." Sal said.

"Even I have to admit that sounds B.A." Gaige said as she took the book and looked at it for a few seconds before trying to hand it back to Claptrap and Hammerlock.

"Keep it." Hammerlock said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I want to go try out a new rifle I got from Marcus. Good day." Hammerlock waved before walking towards the town gate.

"And I have to go pillage Scooters motor oil stockpile! I'm going on a diet so I'm looking for some ten weight oil. . . Sooo, later!" Claptrap cheered as he rolled off towards the garage. At this point, Gaige let out a tired sigh.

"What's the matter?" Kai asked.

"There just been a lot of shit happening these last two days… Finding out I been inducted into a… I don't think it can really be called a religion, thing, club, a clan? Whatever. All my Badass points are basically gone and are now being tracked by a ghostly apparition. We've fought off several difficult enemies, the whole dying and coming back to life thing, finding out that the Vault possibly holds a doomsday weapon that could kill us all, and your little meltdown... It has been… Taxing, to say the least… I'm gonna need a least two tall drinks and then go back to my bed and sleep for a whole Pandoran day." Gaige said as she turned to leave.

"Are you even old enough to drink?" Kai said with a smirk as he followed the Mechromancer.

"Screw you! I deserve a cold drink after all the shit I've been through!" Gaige yelled as they walked off. "Besides you can't even drink a shot without keeling over, you freakin featherweight!"

"Who are you calling a featherweight, cyborg!"

"HA! That the best you got!"

"Alright, how about I start calling you astromech then!"

"Astromech?" Gaige asked in confusion.

"Because you fix things, are very stubborn and you are short." Kai said with a chuckle as Gaige somehow gained an anime tick mark.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT DOG BREATH!" Gaige yelled as they continued to argue while everyone else watched them walk away.

"I'm too tired for this shit. I'm out." Salvador said as he walked off.

"Same." Axton said as he and Maya went off on their own leaving Zer0 and Krieg standing there.

"This world confuses me / Yet never ceases to entertain / there always something new."

". . . Yuuup." Krieg said.

"I'm done." Zer0 said before he turned invisible, leaving the friendly neighborhood Psycho all alone.

"My head all spinny."

" _ **Your only confused now! HA! I gave up a week ago.**_ "

Krieg gave a gruff humph. "When you think Red and kill buddy will tango."

" _ **I was going to give it three weeks, but I'm giving it a week and a half after today, tops. You?**_ "

"Five pancakes."

" _ **Really? That awfully optimistic**_?"

"Eh, I'm a gambler."

" _ **. . . Are we actually getting along right now?**_ "

"Don't make it twiggy." Krieg muttered as he started walking in a random direction.

**-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-**

**-Bonus-**

_**Mini Torgue adventure!** _

_**Chapter 3** _

Once again the Torgue-anought was barreling through space. As for where the ship was another question, even it's crew didn't know where they were. Bill was looking over a star map in the large cab, all the while Mr. Torgue was tapping his fingers over the steering wheel.

"Okay, I give up! Just, how? HOW the hell did you get us lost!? I can't even find where we are, and I have a Ph.D. in astronomy!"

"You have a Ph.D.?" Torgue asked raising an eyebrow.

"I have several actually. Engineering, Physics, mathematics, aerospace, Computer sciences, weapon engineering, and astronomy."

". . . Why are you working as the Torgue Mascot then?"

"Because it somehow pays more, and student loans suck."

"Right…. So any idea where we are?

"I think we're somewhere in the crab ass nebula."

"Isn't it called the crab head nebula?"

"Since that name was already taken some idiot thought he would be clever and gave it that disgusting name."

But your not sure?"

"It could also be the Duck Ass nebula."

". . . Dare I f*ing ask?"

"It was named for both how it looks and supposedly after some Emo stick up his ass ninja anime character with a haircut that looks like a ducks ass."

"I shouldn't have asked." Mr. torgue said as he turned back to the window. He then leaned in as he squints his eyes. "HOLY S*T! Is that a planet?"

Billy put the map down and looks out the window. Sure enough, the outline of a pathetic looking planet with a single moon coming into sight. "Huh, there shouldn't be any planets out here.

IT'S PANDORA! WE F*& MADE IT!" Torgue yelled in victory throwing his hands into the air.

"There no way that Pandora, we can't even be halfway there yet." Suddenly a MASSIVE neon sign that was reaching out from the planet lite up, spelling out _Pandora_. ". . . What?" Billy asked.

"WAHOOOOOO! NEXT STOP! PANDORA!" Mr. Torgue slams the throttle into full which pins Billy into his seat as the space truck rocketed to the planet. However, a second sign above the Pandora suddenly flickered the word "Fake" over the Pandora.

Down on the planet near a small town, the Torgue-anought crashes into the ground like a lead brick from the havens. The door on the side of the cab was flung open as Mr. Torgue jumped out. "WHAAA MEEEW MEEEW MEEEEEEW!" Mr. Torgue yelled out as he air guitared with a Torgue KerBlaster. "Now to find the ones who caused my badass senses to go f&!$ing crazy! . . . Or just start blowing S# up, whichever comes first!"

Billy came stumbling out the ship holding himself on the frame of the door. "Uuuugh, how are we alive?" Billy then noticed two men walk up to their ship. One was a short and tubby middle-aged man with black and grey hair and large sunglasses and had an old business suit on. The tall lanky one had brown hair and a long nose, looked like he was also looked middle-aged. He was wearing a long dirt brown duster.

"Welcome to Pandora and the town of Fryestone." Said the short one.

"Yea, welcome to Pandora, this is totally Pandora." Said the tall one making Billy raise a metaphorical eyebrow.

"I am Harcus, and this is Frank. So, what brings you to our beautiful… Desolate planet?"

"I sensed f*ck*ng a massive amount of badassery, and I'm here to find that source of badassery to witness it for myself. Oh, and to show my company new mascot how to be badass."

"Oh, you're looking for the Vault hunters, well they're currently holding off a Hyperion Loaders attack two towns over. Until then maybe you can help us, see there a massive nest of Poisonous horned red boars."

"That sounds dangerous." Billy said.

"It should, they are an extremely violent species. They even shot exploding fireballs." Said Frank.

"Yes well, the nest is too close to the town, would you two maybe be able to clear them out for us?" Harcus asked.

"A nest filled with highly poisonous, exploding fireball breathing boars… THAT SOUNDS F*CK*NG AWESOME! LET GO BILLY!" Mr. Torgue yells as he grabs Billy.

"What!? WAIT!" Billy cried as Mr. Torgue dragged him off in the direction Harcus had pointed.

After they were gone Harcus turned to his friend. "Frank, start loading the cargo."

After five minutes of running Mr. Torgue arrived at the top of the hill that overlooked another distant hill with several dozen tunnels in it and hundreds of boars roaming around it. Each boar had a pair of tusks as well as a single horn protruding from each one forehead and a vibrant red and brown coat of fur covering their bodies.

Mr. Torgue dropped Billy on the ground and pulled out his KerBlaster and a Torgue Derp Druuup Rocket Launcher. "WAAAHOOOOOO! THIS WILL BE EPIC!"

This gets the attention of the horned Boars who start charging the hill they are both on. This is crazy Mr. Torgue… I don't even have a gun!" Mr. Torgue thought about it for a second, he then put the KerBlaster down and pulled out a Torgue Pocket Rocket pistol and tossed it to Billy along with several packs of bullets.

"Now then, LEROY JENKINS!" He yelled before charging straight into the horde while wildly firing his weapons as the boars began firing their own fireballs from their mouths. The man and lead boar smashed into one another which resulted in a large explosion thanks to Mr. Torgue shield and continued to barrel through the horde. "THIS IS F$!$& AWESOME!"

Billy who was still on the hill was shocked as he watched Mr. Torgue spray his KerBlaster every which way, blowing up huge holes in the boar's attack line. Billy looked at the small Pocket Rocket in his hand, and then back to the battle. "Yeah, fuck this. I'm going to town." Billy said as he pocketed the gun and walked away from the war zone.

Billy soon made it back to Fryestone and started looking around the town, but then quickly noticed something. There wasn't a soul in sight, "WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE!?"

Back on the Torgue-anought Frank walked into the cockpit where Harcus was working. "Alright the last of the cargo is loaded, we ready to go?"

"No, I can't get this piece of junk to start!"

"Have you tried hacking it?"

"Oh, geez why didn't I think of that!"

"Umm, I don't know."

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC YOU IDIOT!" Harcus yelled.

"Ugh, so what now?"

"Well, I guess we'll just call it quits and just go back to the town and have a couple of cold beers."

"Oh, well that sounds like a goo- *SMACK* OWW! Harcus, what was that for?"

"FOR CONTINUING TO BE AN IDIOT!"

"Well, sorry Harcus. I don't know what to do?"

Click* "Well, first you both can step away from the controls." Both men turned to see Billy standing near the hatch with his Pocket Rocket out and aimed at them. Harcus went to draw a gun but a gyrojet round whizzed by his head and exploded in a small bang behind him. "Now slowly drop the guns and kick them away." The two men quickly did as they were told and kicked their guns away. "Now, why were you two trying to jack our ship?"

"Well, we stole some cargo from the Space Mafia!"

"Frank!"

But then we took damage during our escape and crashed here five months ago.

"Frank!"

"Which then lead to us making the big ass Pandora sign to draw in ships so that we could steal one and get out of here."

"FRANK!"

". . . Was I not supposed to say that Harcus?" Frank asked only for Harcus to start ineffectually try and beat the idiot with weak punches, who didn't even seem to notice the assault.

Billy was staring at the two. "You stole from the Space mob? . . . Wow, you must be idiots, as the only people who would dare steal from the space mob are galactic class idiots or the legendary Ad Hoc Fighters.

"Yeah, that us, a pair of idiots."

"Dammit, Frank! Stop telling him everything!"

"But that also leaves me with one question. If you guys had the tools, materials, and knowledge to make a massive sign that goes all the way into space, then why not fix your ship or better yet, build a new one.

Harcus stopped and thought about it for a moment until he collapsed to his knees and started pounding the floor screaming. "DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIIIT!"

Billy lowered his weapon at the pathetic sight in front of him. "This is just embarrassing.

Harcus suddenly jumped at Billy and tackled him, causing him to drop his Pocket Rocket. "FRANK! GRAB A GUN!"

"Ugh, which one?" He asked looking around at the few guns laying about.

"ANY GUN YOU IDIOT!" Billy then socked Harcus in the face. "AUUUGH! MY NOSE! YOU BROKE MY NOSE YOU BASTE- UCK!" Billy kick Harcus off of him and rushes to find a gun. He sees his pistol and rushes for it only to have Harcus grabbed him by the ankle.

"UGH! LET GO YOU ASSHOLE!" Billy yelled as he flipped over and started kicking the short man.

As this was occurring Frank was just lazily looking between the pistols he and Harcus had dropped earlier. "My pistol has a higher magazine and fire rate, but Harcus has more power. . . Which one to choose?"

Billy was still trying to get Harcus to let go, as his focus was on Harcus he started feeling around for anything he could use. After a few seconds, he brushed against something round, without even considering what it was Billy grabbed it and threw it into Harcus's face which turned out to be a half-finished space soda that Mr. Torgue never cleaned up. It hit and bounced off of Harcus's nose which not only sent him back reeling in pain but the soda broke open and spilled into his eyes to further the man pain.

"AAAAAH! IT BURNS! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT!"

'Mr. Torgue, I am never doubting your love of Diet Ghost Pepper Root beer ever again.' Billy thought before scrambling to get his gun. He grabbed the Pocket Rocket and turned back to the two thieves only to find that not only had Harcus found a gun and had it aimed at him, but Frank had finally pick a gun (a Jakob Wheel Gun) and was also pointing it at him.

"Two against one kid, now surrender and put down the gun." Billy was unsure what to do since he had no shield and was outnumbered. "I said put it down or me and Frank are gonna go gangster on your ass!" Billy saw no real choice in the matter and slowly started to kneel to set the gun down, only for the tense silence to be cut off by the squeal of a small red boar flying across the room, hitting Harcus in the face. "AHHHH! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE FACE!"

"Forget that, why are you holding my company mascot/student at gunpoint A*holes?" Mr. Torgue asked as he stepped in with his KerBlaster at the ready.

"These idiots were trying to steal the ship and leave us here! On top of that, they lied about this being Pandora"

"Well DUUUUH, of course, this place isn't Pandora."

"Wait, how-"

"Forget that, what this about some F*cking moron trying to steal my space truck!?" He looked to the two other men.

"Yeah, we did." Frank said without a second thought. It was quiet for several seconds till Harcus palmed his bloodied face.

X-X-X

Harcus and Frank watched as the Torgue-anought took off and flew away. "Dammit, Frank, why did you have to say that! We could have gotten off this planet, but noooo, you had to open your stupid mouth and now we're fucking still stuck here." Harcus yelled as he kicked a small rock in frustration.

"Well, it could be worse Harcus. And look on the bright side, now that they took all of our cargo we don't have to hull it around anymore."

Harcus stopped as he processed what his idiot partner just said. ". . . DAMMIIIIIIIIT!"

X-X-X

Mr. Torgue and Billy sat in the cab as Mr. Torgue started working on powering up the hyperdrive. "Sooo how did you know it wasn't Pandora?"

Those boars started running after five minutes. On the real Pandora, the creatures would keep pressing the attack till you ran from their territory, they kill you, or you kill them."

"Speaking of boars?" Billy looks to the back of the cab which made Mr. Torgue look back. At the rear of the cab which had a small crew lounge where the small Boar that he had thrown was hiding. As far as Billy could tell, this one must be a baby as its tusks were barely protruding and it's horn was more of a nub. Although while it seems to try and be hiding the creature seemed to have a spark of fire in it's eyes.

"Oh, that one. Yeah, it had bit my left arm and stayed on for fifteen minutes before I noticed."

"Wait, didn't Harcus say they were poisonous?"

"HA! The poison these guys let out is more like a numbing agent, of course, it's annoying how my arm is still feeling like it's f*cking asleep!"

"Shouldn't you be more worried?"

"Naaah, this is nothing compared to the Varkid that bit me."

"Wait that would mean you've been to Pandora before?"

"Spring break 2856, that was a crazy week." grinned at the memory. "So much beer, b*bs, and explosions!"

"So what are we gonna do with it?" Billy pointed to the small boar.

". . . . We could eat it."

"TORGUE!" Billy yelled before they shot into hyperspace.


	14. Old Friends...

It was a quiet morning in Sanctuary as the glow of the sun was still behind the horizon. The only ones awake in the town were a pair of crimson raider guards in maroon and orange armor standing at the center of town by the sanctuary monument.

The maroon armored Raider turned to the other, "Hey?"

"Yeah?" The orange Raider replied in an almost bored tone.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it. Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of... some cosmic coincidence or, is there really a God... watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."

They were both quiet for several seconds as the maroon guard stared at the orange one. "What? I mean why are we out here, freezing our asses off in this damn town, on this damn death trap of a planet?"

"Oh, uh... yeah."

"What was all that stuff about God?"

"Uh... hm? Nothing." The orange Raider quickly replied, looking away.

The maroon guard tilted his head in slight interest. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"You sure?'

"Yeah."

"Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, Pandora is just a shit ass planet that does nothing but tries to find new and creative ways to kill us every day, whether it be by extreme weather, rabid animals, crazed and murderous psychopaths, or evil CEOs who keep firing robots down on us from his fucking H shaped space station."

"Mhm."

"And the only reason that we're here is because Hyperion has warrants out on all former Crimson Lance soldiers who served on Pandora during the fall of Atlas."

"Yeah, that's because Handsome Jack is a fucking asshole who likes to rub his 'superiority' into everyone's faces… I mean, kill us already why don't ya."

"Yeah sure, but I mean, even if he were to kill us all right now, what would change? Nothing! It would just be another fucking planet in the middle of fucking nowhere space. Whoop de fucking do!"

"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some Vault aliens. Next thing I know I'm on this dirtball and some Vault Hunters blow up General Knoxx and the armory leaving me stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of damn robots and psychos and working for said Vault Hunters who killed the General."

"Well, it could be worse. We could still be fighting the Blues in that box canyon in the middle of nowhere." Shrugged the maroon one.

Just then an object landed between the two guards. They both curiously looked down at it to find themselves looking at a silver grenade with the word Vladof painted on the side in big red letters.

"Aww shit." The orange one said as the grenade burst open and deployed a tesla coil which started shocking the two Raiders. After about four seconds the Tesla exploded, leaving behind a pair of now crispy, but still, breathing Raider guards. A second later they both fell over in pain.

Up in one of the nearby towers Kai could be seen leaning out a window. "Now shut the hell up! People are trying to sleep for god sakes!" Kai yelled, before slamming the window shut.

"Simmons, I fucking hate you."

*Cough, cough* "The feeling is mutual Griff."

Back in Kai's room, the teen attempted to go back to sleep, but after almost thirty minutes of tossing and turning, he finally gave up. With a sigh of defeat, the teenager slowly dragged himself out of bed and went downstairs. When he got to the kitchen he immediately started making a pot of coffee, more out of habit than need since Reiss's passing. After a few minutes of waiting Kai finally got his cup of coffee and made his way to the sofa where he plopped down and turned on the TV.

Fifteen minutes later Kai was still watching TV, casually surfing what channels Sanctuary could pick up.

*Click*

_I'm Mr. Torgue and I got a question for you! Are you tired of being f*cking too tired to do anything F*CKING AWESOME! Well then grab a can of BOOM! One swig of this sh*t and "BOOM" YOU'RE READY TO GO F*CKING CRAZY! BOOM has been scientifically created with our patented secret formula that-_

*Click*

" _Welcome back to another thrilling episode of the galaxy's favorite reality talent show, Fame or Shame! And here your host Lazlow Jon-_

*Click*

" _Oceanic Starliner flight 815 is now on its third day of having been reported lost. The ship was last seen entering the South Pacific Nebula. There were an estimated three thousand two hundred and eighty passengers on board including the hit boy band Synced-Up. Support from fans of the lost band can be seen in front of the band's record label, Sellout Records."_ A female newscaster said as the image switched to one showing a mob of crying teenage fangirls dressed in Synced-Up tee shirts holding up crappy posters saying things such as, "no Synced-Up equals Doomsday", "I can't live without you Todd", or, most disturbing, "bring our boy toys home".

Kai just shook his head. "How can someone ever fall in love with what is obviously a set of corporate fabricated asshats is beyond me." Then he heard the _click-clack_ of something with clawed feet he looked over to the stairs in time to see Hati slowly walk down and let out a long yawn. "Well look who finally decided to wake up from his beauty sleep mode."

Hati gave a small grumble as he walked over to the sofa. "Right back at you."

At that point, Hati gave a small questioning bark. "Well, it has been just over a week man." Hati just stared at him in confusion and barked again. "No, no. It was the last update, I looked at the system a few days ago, we got an extra four minutes of power usage while Ragnarok is active but it made the power recovery nearly eighty percent more inefficient. on top of that, it damaged your battery, which I swapped out already. So we will need to think of something else to deal with the power drain."

The wolf just groaned in displeasure as he slumped to the ground in front of the TV, groaning all the while. "That's good news at least, we did save Roland, but not before we had to deal with Hyperion." Hati cocked an eyebrow and grunted. "Right, well after you shutdown -"

-FIVE MINUTES LATER-

"Annnnd that's basically what happened." Kai finished before taking another sip of his coffee.

*Woof*

"Yeah leave it to Jack to fucking ruin things, even-" He stopped as they both heard movement from upstairs, after about two minutes of shuffling, a flush of the toilet could be heard. Some more shuffling later the perpetrator finally revealed themselves as a small red-headed sleepy zombie tiredly walked down the stairs. "Gaige?" But the girl didn't seem to hear him as she made her slow march to the coffee maker.

As she made her cup of coffee Kai took note of her current attire which basically consists of a single faded purple tee shirt that was two sizes too large with a red anarchy logo spray-painted on it. The collar of the shirt appeared to have been stretched as he could see part of her bare shoulders as well as just a little bit of her red bra peeking out of the shirt's stretched collar. Her hair was currently down in a completely disheveled mess that reached her shoulders. Kai also noticed that while the shirt came down to her mid-thighs, she wasn't wearing any pants or anything else as far as he could tell, but tried not to speculate. The only other article of clothing she had was a pair of black and white striped ankle-high socks on her feet, with her right big toe sticking out of a hole.

The biggest thing that drew his attention though was on her left shoulder. Until now he had never known the actual degree of Gaige cybernetic enhancements. Her mechanized arm extended into her shoulder which had a high-grade titanium collar implant that connected to the arm by a ball joint, which looked much newer and far more professional, compared to the rest of the robot arm.

As Gaige continued to make her morning elixir Hati shot Kai a questioning 'what did you do' look. Kai shot him back a 'no, I did nothing of the sort' look followed by a 'I don't know' shrug.

Gaige finally finished making her coffee and took her first big sip, letting out a sigh of content as the life-sustaining brew swept through her, which seemed to quickly reverse any of her previous zombie-like behavior. With her mind now finally booting up she set down her coffee, looked around a little and realized that she wasn't in the Raider HQ. Before she could think about where she was she turned and saw Kai and Hati staring at her. "What are you two doing here?"

"Better question, what are _you_ doing in my apartment?" Kai retorted.

It took a second for Kai's question to sink in, but when it did her face glowed red in embarrassment. A thought then occurred to her which made her look down and realize what she was wearing, which seemed to only further the glow of embarrassment. "Umm, good morning." She said weakly.

"Morning. Now I'll ask again, why are you in my apartment, and for that matter, how did you even get in here? you don't have a key."

"I uhhh…. hacked the lock."

"Gaige I have an electronic lock and a keyed deadbolt. I know you can hack the electronic lock, but not a deadbolt."

"You can if you have a robotic arm."

Kai and Hati looked at each other and then leaned over to look at the front door where they noticed that the deadbolt appeared to have been punched out.

As the boys both looked, Gaige took her own note of Kai's own attire… And was surprised. His current outfit was nowhere near as interesting as his normal day to day gear, consisting of an old blue Dahl t-shirt and some black cotton sweatpants. But what she really focused on were his arms, specifically his muscles. While biology was never a subject of interest for the young techno genius, she knew more than the basics, after all, she built herself a new arm. While Kai wasn't jacked like Sal or hard built like Axton, Gaige could tell that Kai was more than fit.

`Those muscles in his arms seemed to be tightly packed, as if from years of hard work... which would make sense since he had mentioned being the apprentice to a master weaponsmith and was trained by an ex-Valdof commando, both of which would require a high amount of physical fitness.' Her thoughts then drifted to the evening on Ellie's roof where she had lent against Kai's shoulder. 'It was hard but so comfy. I wonder if the rest of his body is as tight asssssoooOOO MY MURPHY!' Gaige's mind screamed as her face grew beet red.

'Dammit girl, get your head on straight, Kai is your friend not some hunky piece of meat to ogle… Although hunky wouldn't seem like the best word for him. Hot? No. Handsome? Fuck no, that term is tainted by the Handsome Jackass himself... Cute?... Maaaaybe…. AAAAGH DAMMIT YOU STUPID BRAIN, STOP OOGLING MY FRIEND!' Her thoughts roared.

"I stand corrected. . . I knew we should have gotten that door reinforced." Kai muttered, snapping Gaige out of her less than pure thoughts. "Knowing that I'm still waiting to hear why you are here?"

"Well you see, Tannis has been bothering me to let her have access to my arm so that she can see how DT works." Gaige said hesitantly.

"Right, I should have warned you about that, she tried to do the same thing with Hati here when I was staying at the HQ." He said as he pointed said wolf.

"Hati?" Gaige asked as she looked down and saw said wolf laying down. "Hati, good to see you awake boy." She said as she bent down and scratched his ears. An act that to Kai's sudden surprise gave him a clear view down her shirt. '... Are those hearts on crossbones?' Kai thought as his cheeks heated up. But before he could even think of what to do with this sudden situation Hati let out a yelp of pain as Gaige pinched both of his ears. "And don't you dare think you got away scot-free after shutting down back at the dam!"

Hati looked over to Kai for help only to see him sipping his coffee. "Don't look at me man, I already got my ass chewed out, it's your turn to face the music…*slurp*... So what are you going to do to him?"

Gaige let go of the light-wolf who sulked back to the floor and covered his ears with his paws. Grabbing her coffee mug, she sat down on the sofa next to Kai. "I'll think of something, maybe model him in one of those stupid costumes that pet owners make their pets wear." That earned another whine from Hati. "Anyway, back on topic. Tanis has been getting more… Ambitious with her attempts to get access to my arm and DT.

"What do you-"

"Last night I woke up at one in the morning to find her in my room attempting to disconnect my arm!"

Kai just stared at the anarchist for several seconds. "Well, that's new… and disturbing."

"You're telling me. I mean, seriously, how does anyone put up with her."

"Simple, you don't." Kai said which earned a groan from his fellow teen as she plopped back into the sofa. She stared at the TV for about a minute after that.

"Hey, how are you getting a Gularious news channel on this side of the Galaxy?"

"Are you familiar with the planet Tropico?"

Gaige nodded. "Yeah, who isn't, the whole planet is just one big beach resort for the rich and famous."

"Yeah, it's about fifty light-years from us, however, because it's surrounded by several dense nebulae and a pulsar cluster it makes transmissions to and from the planet difficult. So Tropico built a signal receiver/booster on Pandora to cut through the interference. Now usually any kind of construction is met with hostility from the local bandit clans, so after several large fights, assassinations, and an arm-wrestling contest, a deal was struck. The people of Pandora leave the transmitter alone, and everyone, Raiders, Rats, Bandits, and whoever or whatever else that lives on the planet gets access to all fifty-five thousand ECHO channels, for free... Paid-per-view and streaming all included as well."

Gaige just stared at him as she let that sink in. "Soooo, you can get every season of Villains?

"Yup."

"Super Ultra Hypersonic Mega Dimensional Robot Wars 1 through 20?"

"Mhum"

"Even the XBO series Game of Blood!" She asked with hopeful anticipation.

"Two words, Blue Wedding."

Gaige squealed in excitement. "I've been dying to watch it!"

"Well, technically we don't have any jobs today, so I don't see why we can't-" He was suddenly interrupted as his ECHO went off. Kai gave a sigh of defeat, muttering "broke my own damn rule" as he pulled out his ECHO and answered it. "Kai here."

" _Kai, it Roland. I need you at HQ ASAP for a long haul mission I need you to do. Also, you should take one of the Vault Hunters with you for backup_."

"Right, I'll go get ready now. Kai out." He gave a tired sigh as he leaned back into the sofa for a moment. Finally, he looked over to find a dejected-looking Gaige. "Rain check on that marathon?"

"Sure, why not. Just let me get something to eat before we go." She said as she got up.

"Wait, what do you mean by _we_?"

"Well, Roland did say to bring a Vault Hunter with you, and since I am here and since I am your friend then it would stand to reason that you were gonna ask me anyways. Besides, everyone else is busy with other overnight jobs, remember." She reminded him as she walked over to the fridge.

". . . Yeah, you got me there." He said as Gaige opened the fridge, only to have a cloud of green mist burst into her face.

"Oh, God that reeks! When was the last time you've cleaned this…" Gaige abruptly slammed the fridge shut and pinned the door closed with her back. Kai and Hati looked at her in confusion.

"What's the matter?"

"There's something alive in there!" She said with a hint of fear in her voice. "And it had tentacles!"

"Gaige, there no way something is living inside of my-"

The fridge shook violently, causing Gaige to immediately back away. Kai grabbed a Maliwan fire pistol off the coffee table and had it aimed at the refrigerator with Hati up and ready to attack. "Okay, I stand corrected. . . Let's just go grab some breakfast burritos from Moxxi's and just get out of here." Kai said as he moved towards the stairs, keeping his gun trained on the fridge.

"You're not going to deal with this?!"

"Shits already weird enough as it is this morning." Kai said as he walked up the stairs. "I don't want another item on the list right now."

X-X-X

Kai was not happy. He was irritated, because of the commando sitting in the turret of the Technical that they were riding in. Gaige was sulking in the back since Axton pulled seniority and took the turret seat. At the last minute, Axton showed up and decided to give them " _backup_ " since he had nothing to do and all the other Vault Hunters were either running missions or on errands for different people. In actuality Axton had been acting like this since an incident several days before when he found Kai and Gaige in an embarrassing, but highly accidental situation. And although he doesn't outwardly show it most of the time, Axton has been acting like an overbearing and overprotective big brother. Which was why Gaige was now in the back of the truck away from Kai.

Gaige leaned up over the cab behind Kai. "Sooo, what exactly is this mission we have out there?"

"Don't know, it depends on what they need once we get there. All I do know is that the officer at the Raider base we're heading for asked for some assistance for a few upcoming missions. But while we're there Roland asked me to inspect operations there as the reports we've been getting lately are a little… Weird."

"Here another question. Why can't we just fast travel there?" Axton asked in an annoyed tone.

Kai was silent for a moment. "A few Psychos broke the fast travel station thereafter they tried to use it as a… How do I phrase this... a glorified sex toy."

"NOOOPE! Just stop talking, I _don't_ even want to think about that!" Axton yelled clamping his ears shut.

"But anyways the officer there also said he has a few new members that have shown great potential and could be more useful at Sanctuary. So Roland wants me to act as an observer for their next mission, if they're as good as their CO says will be taking them with us."

"Sooo, this is also a recruitment mission?" Gaige asked.

"It could be, will have to see. Get ready, we're almost there."

"I don't see a town." Axton said looking around the hills.

"You will soon." Kai replied as he drove into a large cave. After several twists and turns, the tunnel opened up to a massive cavern.

"WOAH!" Axton and Gaige both breathed out as they laid their eyes on an incredible sight. The cavern was at least three or four kilometers wide with a lake in the middle of it. Surrounding the lake were hundreds of buildings and homes, all made in the typical Pandoran Bandit and Dahl utility-style setup on them creeping up the walls and cliffs of the cavern. There were dozens of twisting bridges and ramps of various lengths and heights, and in the distance, they could see a tower with a large bullet on top. As they rode on they passed an old shot up sign that read _Welcome to Hollow Point._

_** ~Five minutes later ** _

"This place is AWESOME!" Gaige yelled as they walked through the town.

"Not really. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Kai said.

"Did you really just quote Star Wars?" Gaige asked.

"Yes I did, but it is true. Just look around, everyone is armed whether you can see it or not. There's drug dealers on every corner, bandits and even a few Psychos are running around freely, and then there the occasional dead body on the ground." Kai said as he stepped over a fresh corpse causing both Gaige and Axton to grimace a little.

"And of course nearly everyone is a crook of some kind here, just waiting for the chance to relieve you of any valuables they can get." Kai said as a dark-skinned young woman with braided hair bumped into Gaige as they passed each other.

"Oops, sorry about that kid." The woman said as she tried to walk off with her friend.

Kai whipped around and had a Vladof Righteous Troublemaker pistol out and pointed at the backs of the two women. "Hold it ladies." Kai called out, his voice cold and serious, causing the woman to freeze as they slowly turned to him.

"What, I said I was sorry." The woman who bumped Gaige said.

"Give it back." He said sternly.

"What are you talking about?"

"I said give it back or else you're gonna have a new piercing through your brain." Kai threatened, raising his gun half an inch. The woman sighed and slowly put her hand in her bag and slowly pulled out Gaige's Rogue Smuggler, much to her and Axton's surprise, then the woman held it out to Kai who took it. "Now beat it."

"Come on Sasha." The other woman said, running off.

"As I said a hive of scum and villainy." Kai said as he holstered his gun and turned back. He gave the Rogue a quick check before tossing it back to Gaige who caught it and held it as if someone returned a mother's baby. "Watch your pockets, pickpocketing here is as second nature as breathing."

"So what was this place?" Axton asked.

"It used to be a Dahl mining and processing center, the largest one only beaten by Sanctuary's efficiency. There are hundreds of tunnels throughout this mountain where all kinds of minerals were mined. Now it's just another bandit town, the only difference is that Hyperion can't attack here with moonshots since it's underground." Kai looked down a side street as they were passing only for him to stop. "Oh for crying out loud!" He yelled, following the path.

The street was sealed off with old Dahl police tape that surrounded a crime scene. There were dozens of mutilated bandit bodies all over the place, with blood spatter painting the street, not to mention the bullet holes. All of the walls were covered in them and in some cases there were outlines of where someone had been standing. Some buildings were missing walls. you couldn't even walk two steps without stepping on a shell casing. "What the hell happened here?" Axton asked.

"He happened." Kai pointed to the opposite building which had a lot fewer bullet holes. It did, however, have the words 'Thanks for all the blood and sips. The Crimson Fucker! Follow on ECHO at hashtag thecrimsonfucker!' painted in blood on the side.

"That's…. A little, ugh." Gaige tried to speak, disgust welling up from within her.

"Presumptuous, arrogant, the straight-up definition of an asshole, yes to all of the above."

"So who is this guy?" Axton asked.

"Some Ozzy Osbourne looking motherfucker with this police girl sidekick who came through Sanctuary about three months ago. Said he was here on vacation. He keeps doing shit like this, a few weeks before you came he ate a whole bandit camp."

"Wait, as in-"

"It's better you and Gaige don't know." Kai cut Axton off. He turned to keep moving when he froze. "What the!? How the fuck are you alive!?"

Gaige and Axton both turned to find a red mohawked midget with a gold psycho mask on, and armed with a pair of bladed bandit pistols. Flanking him were eight badass marauders with red painted shoulder armor with a gold skag on the left one.

"YOU! You're that bastard who killed me and my old crew and best buddy Mong-da! Well now I have you right where I want you Kai the Rebel, for now, I, the leader of the Golden Skags have for months now been-" The midget began to drone on as Kai rolled his eyes.

"Not this again."

"Wait, you know this midget?" Axton asked.

"And what was that about killing him?" Gaige asked.

"He's one of the smarter Midgets out there, but only by a few brain cells, I killed him and most of his crew on the third day got to this planet. I actually met and saved Reiss from them in that fight. But as to how he's alive I don't know… It does make Sal's theory that the bandits have their own New-U system sound all the more plausible though." Kai answered as he pulled out his pistol and clicked the safety.

"And so once again I Blood Rage the Mighty, shell have his vengeance upon you for all of your crimes!"

"Yeeeeah, I think you'll need to wait in line for that pipsqueak." Came a heavily modulated voice. Everyone looked to see a black armored Hyperion Hawk trooper holding a Maliwan slag SMG in his right hand while his left was holding a yellow Hyperion body bag on his back.

"Zager? . . . Okay is this a fucking intervention or something with everyone I've ever pissed off, because I don't see the Handsome Jackass anywhere?" Kai asked as he looked around.

"Ha, you wish this was an intervention. This must be my lucky day. Had a decent shower today, a breakfast with real bacon, and a clean and quick bounty, that was a perfect day in my book. But to find you, that lucky's, and if I recall I've also seen a bounty poster for GI Joe there and your little girlfriend. She's got one hell of a bounty on her."

"Why does everyone assume I'm his girlfriend?" Gaige muttered quietly as Kai groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look, Zager, if I recall, your beef is with Mordecai, not me. So let's just nod and go our separate ways while I get back to dealing with the Trojan Mini-Me over there."

"What did you call me!?" Blood Rage shouted only to be ignored.

"Sorry, but after what your wolf did to my armor, making me lose Bloodwing and my chance to finally kill Mordecai, I'm gonna rip your head off and mount it on my ship's bulkhead." Zager said as he dropped the body bag and raised his SMG. "Now, drop the gun and hands up. All of you."

Kai sighed as he dropped his gun and raised his hands up. "You shouldn't have done that." He said as Gaige and Axton also put their hands up.

"And way that?"

"DT."

". . D. T?" Zager parroted, tilting his head in confusion.

"DT ATTACK MODE ALPHA!" Gaige yelled, causing DT to digistruct from her hand in front of them, surprising Zager and Blood Rage.

"THE FUCK!?" Zager yelled as he dumped his SMG's mag into DT's armor to no real effect. Kai used the distraction to duck and roll behind DT for cover while tossing out Hati's Photon sphere, while Axton threw out his Sabre turret which immediately started to pin down several of the Marauders. With all of their deployable gear now active the Vault Hunters went on the attack. DT charged at Zager who quickly jumped back to dodge his claws, causing sparks to fly as they nicked his shield.

Blood Rage started screaming, running straight at Kai, swinging his bladed pistols like a mini hedge trimmer. Kai just pulled his Clementine out by the barrel and swung it like a baseball bat. Blood Rage was hit in the face with the stock of the rifle with a resounding *PANG* and was sent flying over his men's heads. "BOSS! THEY HIT THE BOSSMAN, GET THEM!" yelled the lead Marauder as the others spread out and started shooting.

Three Marauders charged at Axton, guns blazing as he dropped to one knee and fired at the first one with his Dahl Carbine, putting two bursts through the lead Marauder's head-turning his head into a burst of blood and meat. Without missing a beat he took several shots at the second, three in the head, three in the chest, dropping him. The last one was within lunging distance of him and had a bayonet on his bandit gun. In too close, Axton dropped his rifle and pulled his tomahawk out, immediately sidestepping the lunging bandit. Just as the Marauder was passing Axton smashed the back spike of the tomahawk into the Marauder's hip, while dragging him forward. He brought the weapon back up and bashed the Marauder in the back of the head with the butt of the handle, dazing the wounded man and cracking the helmet. Spinning the tomahawk head around, Axton hooked it around the Marauder's neck and pulled, whipping him around and sending him to his knees, before bringing the tomahawk blade down on the Marauder's neck which cut and dug into the man's spine, stopping just short of decapitating him. "Why would you charge when you have a machine gun, you idiot?" Axton asked the dead man as he picked up his own rifle. At the same moment, a notification window opened on his HUD labeled Axe Man. "A hundred badass points for that? Sweet!"

Gaige and Kai were fighting off their own group of Marauders. "Get ready Gaige."

"Don't worry, I got this."

"What do you-"

"I said I got this." Gaige said as she brought her Ol' Painful up and started firing a hail of red lasers at the Marauders. Gaige focused her aim on the first one, who quickly was perforated with dozens of smoking wounds. Several of the laser shots missed only to bounce off one of the nearby building and all hit a different target. The one Marauder was hit in the back of his head, blowing a baseball size hole in the back of his head. The next turned when the first died and was met with a laser to the heart. The last one was hit with several bolts across his back causing him to quickly go up in flames, he danced around screaming in pain for several second until he fell over dead. "See, I told you I goooo-oh… oops." Gaige had turned around to see Kai standing there with an dry look as a small lock of hair on the left of his head was smoking, and a blast mark could be seen in the wall behind him.

"I think your Close Enough skill still needs some work." Kai said as he pinched the smoldering hairs with his right hand.

Hati just gave a muffled bark near Kai which he turned to and noticed a Marauder head in his jaw. "Agreed… Where did you find the extra Marauder?" Hati just gave another muffled bark that sounded like a "wouldn't you like to know" response.

At that same moment, there was a loud *BOOOOSH* as DT was pierced by a green laser causing him to despawn. They turned to see Zager with a Hyperion Railgun with an ominously glowing green muzzle. "Okay, now I'm pissed. I'm going to rip you two bastards limb from limb, and then I'm going to grind up little miss robots' faces till she looks like she came out of a meat grinder."

"Wow, really channeling your inner bandit there aren't you." Kai commented.

"FUCK OFF! And just for that comment, I'm going to mount your skull on the nose of my ship _instead_ of the bulkhead!"

"NOOOO!" Came a shrill scream. They turned to see Blood Rage, whose hair was now a mess and had a new large dent on the left cheek from where Kai had batted him. "His skull is mine! MIIIINE! And it will adorn the top of my blood throne for all to see…. Or I'll use it as a codpiece."

"Eww." Gaige said with disgust.

"Yeah, I agree with the cyborg, nobody is gonna have my skull. Besides even if you two did team up, you're still outnumbered."

"On the opposite Vault losers!" Blood Rage yelled.

"I think you mean on the contrary shorty." Kai replied.

"SHUT UP!" With that Blood Rage gave a loud whistle. For the first few seconds, nothing happened, then the sounds of excited bandits reached their ears. Psychos, bandits, Marauders and a few Goliaths flooded the streets, basically surrounding the Vault Hunters. Each one was brandishing their own weapons and all had something with the Golden Skag logo on them. For some, it was tattooed on them.

"Okay, for a Psycho midget that's actually quite impressive." Zager said appreciatively.

Gaige, Kai, Axton, and Hati got ready to fight. "So what now?" Gaige asked.

"Well, you two could probably die and end up back at that sheriff station we parked at all fine. My ass, however…" Gaige and Axton didn't need any more explanation as they remembered that he couldn't use the New-U system. They backed up until their backs were to the wall as the army started to creep in.

"Kai, here's the plan. Have Hati prepare his Ragnarok, once ready you're going to ride him out of here while me and Red cover you."

"Good plan Axton, there's just one problem." Kai whispered.

"What?"

"I disabled the Ragnarok system in order to try and fix it."

Axton winced, glancing at the approaching army. "Okay, what about riding DT up to the rooftop?"

"DT can't fly that high with the extra weight." Gaige said, unable to hide her sudden fear, not at the enemies in front of them, but at the thought of losing her best friend.

"Then it looks like we have no choice." Kai muttered, taking aim with his Clementine. "We're just going to have to fight our way out, and hope for a damn miracle.

Just as Blood Rage was about to signal his crew to attack, a explosive barrel fell into the group behind him, killing several bandits and injuring a dozen more.

"WHAT!" Blood Rage yells as everyone looks to the roof where the barrel came from to see a large young man in the process of pulling another barrel from his back and throwing it into the group of bandits. The barrel exploded, launching several psychos and bandits high into the air. One psycho was blown so high in the air that he flew to the next street over and landed on an old man's cabbage cart.

"MY CABBAGES!"

Back in the fight, the large man jumped from the roof and charged headlong into a group of bandits, throwing punches, drawing them into a massive slugfest.

At the same time, someone shot past the group on their left, leaving a wake of ice that froze several bandits, shouting "COOOOOOOOL!" The blur sped through the bandits, continuing to either kill them or freeze them as the blur continued to race around.

On the left, a young girl hopped down and pulled out a pink cheer baton that glowed pink at the top. A pink cartoonish anime teddy bear hologram with little angel wings emerged from the baton as the girl yelled: "Show them the power of my love Bear-bear!"

The flying teddy bear gave a wink and thumbs up (with courtesy sound effects) before it pulled its own wand out and dozens of pink heart-shaped beams shot out, cutting down the girl meanwhile started chatting as she whipped out her SMG. "When I say bang you say dead! Bang!" She fired a burst and nailed a bandit in the head as he gave out a "Urk!"

"Bang!" She fired at a Psycho, hitting it in the heart, making the man yell "OW-IE!"

"BANG!" The last shot hit a Marauder in the head causing it to explode. The girl jumped in joy. "YAY! GO TEAM!"

"What the hell?!" Axton said in surprise as Gaige stared in amazement.

Kai, on the other hand, had a face of utter shock at the people who had shown up. "Oh please-"

Before he could finish a fourth person jumped from the roof behind them and spun a few times before nailing a superhero landing. He stood up and started walking forward with a strong sense of confidence that just seemed to emanate off him. A few Psychos charged at him, ready to cut him to shreds. The first bandit was shot dead by a bladed Jakobs Hammer Buster, blowing a golf ball-sized hole into the bandit's chest. The second one he whipped out was a Luck Cannon which he fired a single round into the Psycho head at near point-blank, adding to the already growing viscera. The third and final one ran at him from the front only to receive a Spartan kick right to the face, launching the Psycho into the air.

"SOOO BADASS!" The Psycho yelled, as he smashed headfirst into a wall which was rewarded with a loud snap of the psycho's neck-breaking. The man then pulled out a gold and green sphere from his belt.

"Wait, isn't that?" Gaige started to say, recognizing the device.

"Rise, Xarvasdys!" The man yelled with a booming testosterone-fuelled voice as he tossed the sphere. There was a flash of green as a massive, green European style dragon appeared. Opening its mouth, the monster gave off a massive roar that echoed through all of Hollow Point and scaring the nearby bandits.

"Oh shit! It's the green doom bringer!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

"We're not worthy of its malicious grace!"

The dragon unleashed a torrent of flames that swept over all the bandits behind Zager and Blood Rage. When the firestorm ended all that was left was a cloud of glowing embers and ash. Zager looked back at the dragon and then to where he left the body bag he had brought, only to see it burning. "Fuck this, it not worth it anymore." With that, the black painted Hyperion Hawk took off into the sky and flew away.

"NOOOOOO! MY ARMY! MY BROTHERS! I'M GONNA GUT ALL OF YOU AND MAKE A WARDROBE OUT OF YOUR HIDES. FOR I BLOOD RAGE THE MIGHTY AM NOW SWARN BY BLOOD OATH TO HUNT YOU ALL DOWN TO-"

*BANG! PING!*

Blood Rage looked down to find a new bullet hole in his chest, right where his heart is. He looks back to see Kai's Clementine pointed at him. "... I fucking hate-" Kai fired again, putting the shot square between Blood Rage's eyes, knocking the midget onto his back. Kai and the Vault Hunters then turned to the four strangers who came together in front of them.

The first one was a massive stocky giant who towered over everyone at almost 250 centimeters. He had a messy mop of brown hair and greeted them with a simple smile. He wore a simple pair of baggy black jeans, blue long sleeve shirt that had the logo for the Intergalactic Mega Wrestling League Nine thousand. A large set of leather straps held up a massive backpack with an explosive barrel held in it above a holding mechanism.

The next one was a teenager with slick black hair, with a long pointed nose. He had on a set of ripped dark blue skinny jeans and an open black leather biker jacket. A white shirt was visible beneath the jacket On his head was a set of beaten up black headphones that had seen better days and an old pair of high-end black tint sunglasses. The entire outfit gave him a hipster/greaser look. His head was bobbing to a beat that could be somewhat heard. In his hands were a pair of rare Vladof machine pistols that seemed to be of the cryo element, and a set of the sprayer on his wrist.

Then there was the teenage girl. She was of average height for her age and had long straw-like blond hair tied into a single ponytail and big blue eyes. She wore a green and gold cheerleader outfit with the word Alpha printed across it. Over it a bandolier strap slid across her chest between a rack of double D's that held up what Kai would ( _begrudgingly)_ call a black 'tactical purse' made of modern soft Kevlar and a pink camouflage bow rested on its clasp. Her shoes were some kind of high heel combat boots. Kevlar leggings reached up her long legs to her mid-thighs, just below the skirt. On each wrist, a green and white pom-pom was held in place with a gold scrunchy. In her hand was a very rare Maliwan slag SMG.

The last one was a handsome, muscle-bound Adonis with a thousand-megawatt smile, deep green eyes, cleft chin and well-groomed short golden blond hair who stood at just over 200cm. His outfit was similar to Kai only with several differences. Where Kai had a more bare steel color to his armor and gear that looked a bit more used, considering the number of dings and scratches it had. This man had much cleaner armored plates that were a polished green metal with fine gold trimming. He had two shoulder pauldrons, the left was a straight polished gold finish with a crest which had a black dragon head over a green shield with the words _Alpha Squad_ in old English font written below it. His arms were missing the vambraces and Holo blade emitters that Kai used, instead, the man had full-arm green gauntlets, including armored gloves like a knight.

On his left side, he had a photon emitter pack that looked a little beefier version than Kai's. Slung under it was a longsword in an ornate green and gold scabbard. A golden Dragon head amulet hung from his neck with a large emerald clutched in its jaw with red rubies in its eyes that seemed to glow. "Hello fellow warriors, we saw you were in trouble with these miscreants, so we decided to render our assistance."

The Vault Hunters stared at the group until Kai broke the silence. "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS ALIVE!?" Kai yelled in horrified disbelief.

They all looked at him for several seconds, recognition slowly growing on their faces. "KAI!" They all yelled, charging up and tackling him in a group hug. After several seconds they all let go of Kai and backed up.

"Kai, just who are these people?" Gaige asked.

Before Kai could respond, the blond Adonis cut him off. "Ah yes, introductions are in order. Squad sound off!"

"Tobias! Throw explosive barrels for friends. Am guard for friends… I like friends." The large one, now named Tobias, said with a loopy smile. The way he talked made him seem like one of those with a big heart but a marble or two short of a full set.

"I'm ICE! Because I'm CoooooOOOOOOL as ice!" Said the spiky-haired teen as he threw up devil horns with his hand.

"He-he, I'm Kare-Kare, with a K, and this dear little bundle of joy is my cute little friend Bear-Bear." The blond said as the bear jumped in the air with its own set of pom-poms. "And I'm the squad support."

"And I am Dirk Hardpeck the fifth! Noble warrior and leader of-"

*PHAT* Everyone looked to the source of the noise to see an extremely small ninja, that looked to be almost a full head shorter than Gaige. Their face was covered by a black hood and a jade green scarf. The rest of the outfit consisted of a baggy ninja gee that hid any distinguishing features, including apparent gender. On the ninja's back was a very rare Maliwan corrosive sniper rifle that looked almost comically large compared to the small ninja. At the moment the ninja was holding a ninjatō blade with a glowing, red hot edge. Fresh blood was both dripping off of it and sizzling from the heat. In the ninja left hand, it appeared as though the ninja had dragged over a choking Raging Goliath by a steel wire wrapped around his elongated neck.

"Oh, I almost forgot, our youngest member Jade, who is our scout." Jade seemed to sigh at Dirk's introduction, whether it was because of being called the youngest, a scout (which really undersells the person's obvious trade), or a combination of both was unknown. "He doesn't talk much." Dirk said as Jade yanked the wire causing a loud sickening snap to be heard as the Goliath went limp.

"Anywho, as I was saying, we are the Alpha squad!" Dirk yelled as they all took an action pose around him. Some less seriously than others.

Axton and Gaige just stared as Kai facepalm himself. "That still doesn't answer my previous question." Kai mutters loudly with a tired sigh. Before anyone could answer they all heard the approach of another large group of bandits if the smell and foul language was anything to go by.

"Let's take this somewhere safer." Dirk said.

-Smash cut to Raider HQ, Hollow Point branch-

"Welcome to the Hollow Point Raiders HQ my new and old friends!" Dirk said as everyone walked into the makeshift command center. The Hollow Point branch wasn't much more than a modified machine shop and storage warehouse that was once used to maintain and store heavy mining equipment. Kai looked around and saw the CO.

"Captain Banks?" Kai asked.

"Yes?" A man in Crimson Raider armor with yellow shoulder plates answered as he turned to Kai. "Ah you must be the support we requested."

"We found them out on Conners street being attacked by a bounty hunter and the Golden Skags." Dirk said. "They were nearly overrun by the time we found them and assisted them."

"Yeah… Thanks for that... I guess." Kai said hesitantly.

Dirk gave a hearty laugh and slapped Kai on the back. "Not a problem my long lost comrade."

"Ow…" Kai muttered as he rubbed his back.

Gaige looked between the two men. Both wore similar gear but were completely different in personality. . "Sooo, how do you all know each other?"

"Ah yes! Well, our old friend here used to be part of Alpha Squad a few years ago." Gaige and Axton looked to Kai for confirmation.

"For a very short time I was, but that was five years ago. What I want to know though is how are you all even alive? I saw the attack from orbit, hell I called it in. There was no time for anyone to get out of there."

"We were at Ny Berkåk base preparing for a raid on Frost Glen when we were alerted to the missile attack."

"Your welcome by the way." Kai muttered.

"The base commander was able to get us to an old Ganges transport ship they kept there. We were only just able to escape before a missile hit close by." Dirk said sadly.

"Wait you guys got out on-" Kai started to say before the others interrupted.

"It was SOOOO UNCOOL." Ice shouted out.

"Jack killed our home, friends, and families." Kare-Kare said as the Bear hologram started crying watery anime tears.

"Yes, it was dare I say, tragic." Dirk said as he bowed his head. "We lost a lot of good, and innocent people that day. But now that you are here we can strike back at those who helped kill them."

"What are you talking about?" Kai inquired.

"Recently our scouts have discovered a secret Hyperion weapons development lab run by Dr. Randol Lobotomous." Capt. Banks interjected.

"Lobotomous… As in Hyperion's lead exotic weapons engineer?" Kai asked with sudden interest. "The bastard is here!?"

"Who is this… Random... Lobotomy?" Gaige asked.

"Lobotomous." Dirk corrected. "One of several scientists who helped develop the weapon that killed Polaris, or the Mass Liquidator as Hyperion called it."

"Commander Hardpeak suggested we request some help to assist in this endeavor." Banks said.

Kai just stared at Banks for several seconds, looked to Dirk, and then back to the officer. "What do you mean Commander Hardpeak?" He asked with a furrowed brow.

"Dirk here is in charge of the Raiders here. Since coming here we have had victory after victory against Hyperion. Recruitment is at an all-time high, and morale has skyrocketed. We're lucky to have him here, but I believe he and his team should be transferred to Sanctuary. With his help the Crimson Raiders may be able to finally turn the tide of this war against Handsome Jack!" Banks said, leaving Kai dumbfounded. Axton was surprised and Gaige looked at Dirk with awe.

"That's Dirk for you, always leading the charge." Kare-Kare cheered.

"Dirk is the cooOOOLEST LEADER!"

"Friends please, let us not make this about me."

"You've been here only two months and are already leading a whole Raider cell! That's so cool!" Gaige said, causing Kai's eye to twitch.

"Enough of that, we need to discuss plans." Kai said as he tried to get the discussion back on what was important.

"I agree. Before we strike the lab in question we are going to hit a Hyperion supply convoy tomorrow that is supposed to be carrying heavy weapons and ammo to a Hyperion outpost. With those weapons, we can ensure our victory." Dirk proclaimed with an infectious smile and a glint in his eyes.

"I mean it's smart that you plan on hitting the convoy for resources, but doesn't it seem a little rushed?" Kai suggested. "What about the details, also, when and how are you planning to hit the la-."

"It's simple, it's bold… I like it." Axton said.

"If it involves sticking it to Handsome Jack then count me in! I still have to pay him back for the train fiasco." Gaige yelled.

Kai looked to his friends. "Hold on. Are you guys insane? This plan is-"

"Then it settled! We attack at midday tomorrow. Now, come along my new friends, let us procure you something to eat." Dirk said as everyone left the room leaving Kai standing there.

Kai just stared at the door they had walked out of. *Sigh*... "Just like home… Come on Hati, we got work to do… Hati?" Kai frowned, looking for his holographic companion.

Outside in the back of the base Hati and DT were glaring at the Teddy Bear and the Dragon holograms.

-Robot/AI translator is now active-

"Well well well! If it isn't the dinosaur. you need some more RAM, old man." The floating bear said.

". . . Your only two years younger than me you stupid care bear ripoff." Hati growled as DT looked between Hati and the other two A.I. holograms.

"Hati, I thought these were your friends? Your Comrades?" (Author Note: I see DT sounding like Alphonse Elric from the English DUB of Fullmetal Alchemist with the translator on because he is still only a few months old and is basically still a kid… With heavy weapons.)

". . . I prefer… Coworkers." Hati muttered to the floating death bot.

"Who the kid?" Bear-Bear asked.

"Right, this is Deathtrap, or DT for short. He's an anti-bullying robot that the redhead built and generally stays in her robot arm. DT, meet Lizard Face and the Chew Toy."

"CHEW TOY?!" Bear-Bear screeched.

Xarvasdys held his head up high over Hati and DT. "Show some respect to your superiors, mutt."

"HA HA HA! You, my superior!? May I remind you, your base AI code is copied from mine, so you two should be showing me respect! I'm basically your father… On second thought, no, if you two were my kids I would have disowned you for being such annoying and arrogant drittsekker (assholes)."

"Isn't that a little harsh Hati?" DT asked uneasily.

"Look, kid, when you've known someone for as long as I have, you'll begin to understand just who they are. And they are nothing but a pair of damn drittsekker."

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU TO CALL US DRITTSEKKERS!. . . Xarvasdys what a drittsekker?" Bear-Bear asked the dragon who just ignores the question.

"Either way, my master is of a higher rank than yours, so show some respect." The dragon stated.

"Your master is a higher rank than my partner? Please. First, Dirk was never higher rank than Kai. The same rank, yes. Higher rank, fuck no. Second, your human isn't even mentally capable of supervising a salad bar."

"HOW DARE YOU!," Xarvasdys roared. "MY MASTER IS A MAN OF HONOR, INTEGRITY, INTELLIGENCE, VALOR, STRENGTH-"

"Oh great, now he's triggered." Hati muttered as he started walking off as Xarvasdys continued to ramble on while Bear-Bear listened and nodded in star struck awe. "Come on D, there's no point in sticking around. It'll be all day with him."

As they moved off DT looked to Hati. "So… they're not friends?"

"No they are not, and neither are their… masters. Pfft, I hate that word. It denotes a hierarchy rank that is given, not earned." He was silent for several seconds until he stopped. "DT, these Alpha are bad news."

"In what way?"

"There's a darkness that surrounds those teenagers and their malware… servants. A plight that circles them. One that may entrap you and your builder if you are not careful."

Deathtrap just lazily stared at Hati for a moment. "You're doing it again."

"Hmm? Doing what?"

"Being cryptic again, trying to be dark and mysterious. Hati, you're already a badass wolf based on an old mythological wolf that tried to eat the moon. You don't need to add on to that or drag it down with cliches… an annoying cliches at that."

"But it makes me sound so wise and mysterious."

"No, it doesn't, it makes you sound like a crazy old man."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING…" Hati stopped and thought about it for a moment. "Fine, I concede the point. Now, what were we talking about?"

"Those pieces of malware."

"RIGHT! Okay in simple terms shit happens around them, from stupid to deadly. They tend to get into a lot of trouble and will drag everyone around them into their messes." Hati glanced at DT. "Whether Gaige is involved directly or indirectly, shit will happen when the Alphas are near, so be extra vigilant, because Kai and I won't always be around to watch her. So for your builder's sake, keep a close eye on her... I would hate for Kai and myself to lose another friend, you included." The wolf said before despawning, leaving DT to ponder what he said before despawning himself.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"So then, Tobias throws me into the air above the foul beast, where I drew my sword and came down upon the! With the force of a bull I run my sword straight through its head and out of its mouth!" Dirk said with gusto as he recounted a tale of adventure to Gaige and Axton as they sat in what was considered a mess hall. They both had been there for several hours now, listening to Dirk's and the other Alpha's stories about their time on Polaris and on Pandora. "And that is how we saved the orphanage in NoWheresville from a rabid acid-spitting badass mega skag."

"You guys are so BA! Fighting Hyperion baddies, alien creatures, Bandit hordes and Murphy knows what else!"

The other looked to Axton for an explanation for Gaige's odd choice of wording. Axton looked up from the toast he's eating. "Just ignore it, it would take too long to explain." Everyone seemed to accept this and move on.

"Just how did you all come together?" Gaige asked.

"It was Dirk, he was only twelve when he first led a dozen other people against forty Hyperion Soldiers and defeated them. He's been leading the fight ever since and slowly formed Alpha Squad, made of the best of the best." Kare-Kare giggled.

"Just how did you guys get this good?"

Dirk gave a sad sigh with a sad look of remorse. "That is a tragic tale that started before I was born. My parents originally were the king and queen of Zallerth, the Hardpecks had been proudly ruling Zallerth for five generations until a group of knights and nobles rose up and rebelled against them. Those still loyal to our family smuggled my parents off the planet where they escaped to Polaris in hopes of raising help to hopefully retake the throne from the rebels. A year after I was born. Since I was old enough to walk my father has trained me in the ways of a knight and prepared me to take the throne back. However, Hyperion came and attacked Polaris, during the first few years our town was mostly left alone. Then a platoon of Hyperion soldiers came to police the town. My parents, both noble warriors who had come to love the town, tried to stand up to cruel oppressors, and were gunned down in front of me."

"Oh my spark, that awful!" Gaige gasped.

Dirk nodded somberly as both Kare-Kare and Ice were crying crocodile tears. "It was a painful day, but I took my pain and anger and focused it. I soon rallied a group of brave fighters to oppose the tyrants. We charged them at dawn and chased them down like wild dogs until they were all killed and left to rot like the scum they are. A rebel cell learned of my achievement and recruited me into their ranks. I soon proved myself over and over with each battle and made friends and allies along the way." He motioned to his friends. "With our combined talents, we soon became known as Alpha squad. The light that snuffs out the darkness, the hareld of justice, and the thorn that is always digging into the foul beast that is Hyperion!" Dirk proclaimed as he triumphantly stood up with his right hand pointed up in show.

"Of course, even with our strength, we were not prepared for the cruelty that Handsome Jack wrought, so now we seek to end his reign." Dirk said as he sat down.

"Wooooow, I wish I could be as cool as tough as you guys." Gaige said.

"I saw you fighting." Dirk proclaimed with a cheerful glint in his eyes. "While you still need experience, you do have more than enough potential to be a great warrior, maybe enough to become an Alpha. Why don't you join our squad for the mission tomorrow."

"Gaige perked up at this as her eyes glowed in new found anticipation. "Are you serious?"

"A genius like you, it would be great." Kare-Kare said gleefully.

"Does this mean new friend?" Tobias asked.

"I'm more than willing to let a promising warrior join us in battle." Dirk nodded in a sagely manner.

"COOOOOOOL!" Ice shouted as Kare-Kare cheered and a dopey smile crossed Tobias face. All the while Jade stayed quiet as he sat on

"How about you Axton, would you also like to join us in the upcoming battle?" Dirk inquired Axton as the man finished a sip of his beer.

"Nah, I'm gonna be teamed up with squad B. Need to spread the heavy firepower around after all." Axton said before taking another drink. "Besides, it would be good for you to hang out with more people your own age."

"Well with that we should all go and rest up for tomorrow. Feel free to go to the armory to get any gear you might need."

"Cool, I'll do that now. Ax, you coming?"

"Nah, I got what I need, you go ahead Red."

"Alright." Gaige said before getting up and leaving the mess hall. She walked through the base past a dozen Raiders as she made her way to the armory. She began to wonder where Kai was at when said Rebel walked out of a nearby room with the sign Records' posted outside. "Hey Kai."

"Oh, hey Gaige."

"Man, you look tired. What have you been doing?"

"Going over mission reports for the last few hours, Roland wanted me to look them over and compare them to the ones he'd been receiving while we're here."

"That sounds boring."

"Extremely." He said with a depressed sigh. "So what are you doing?"

"I'm going to the armory for some ammo and gear for tomorrow's mission. The Alphas invited me to tag along with them during the mission."

Kai just stared at Gaige as if she grew a second head. "Fuck no."

"What?"

"I said fuck no." Kai repeated sternly.

"Why not!?"

"First off, you have only been at this for a month, you lack both the skill and experience to take on a Hyperion convoy as part of the advanced group. Second, just because the Alphas act all cool, and badass doesn't actually mean they're that good."

"Kai, that's crazy! Did you see their moves? They were all so _cool_!"

Kai folded his arms and sighed. "Not really. They just got lucky with the surprise attack and capitalized on said surprise with more shock and awe tactics… Although calling them tactics would be giving them too much credit honestly." Kai muttered. He looked back to Gaige who looked to be not paying attention. "OI! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!"

"Huh? Sorry, did you say something, I was thinking about how cool and awesome the Alphas are." She answered, causing Kai to just sigh as he muttered. "Dammit Dirk."

"Hmm, what was that?"

"Nothing… Look, Gaige, you're not equipped to fight the type of enemies a Convoy has. Hell we haven't even got you a rocket launcher yet, let alone the training to operate one."

"It's fine Kai, besides how tough can a Hyperion convoy be?"

Kai gave her a blank look. "It is a standard Hyperion Type Four weapon transfer that will have a Theta level escort, which entails at least four APC's with two squads of Commandos guarding along with the store of Loaders kept on hand. Plus there's at _least_ typically one reaction reinforcement pod that Helios keeps on standby that can be dropped in a moment's notice if we aren't fast enough to hit the APC's." Kai stated flatly.

"That's easy."

Kai just stared at her before letting out another sigh and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Gaige this is not up for negotiation, you will not be tagging along with the Alphas. There is just too much that can go wrong, especially when those idiots are around. They're a fucking disaster waiting to happen."

"Kai! How can you say something so awful about them!" Gaige shouted.

"Because it's true."

"But they're so cool!"

"And once again, _coolness_ doesn't immediately translate to _skill_ Gaige." Kai said a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice. "Most, if not all of their achievements have been done with the help of mind- _bendingly_ good luck. Joining them in battle will do nothing to help you and-... Where did you go?" Kai looks and sees Gaige walking away. "Where are you going!?"

"As I said, the armory. I've got to be prepared if I'm joining Alpha's tomorrow for tomorrow's op." She answered seemingly oblivious to the argument they just had as she jogged away.

"Gaige… GAIGE!..." But the teen was already gone, leaving the Rebel in the hall all alone. Kai let out a sigh of defeat. "Just like home, dammit."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

**Torgue Mini-Adventures**

**Chapter 4**

On the last Mini Torgue Adventure… "So what are we gonna do with it?" Billy pointed to the small boar.

". . . . We could eat it."

"TORGUE!" Billy yells before they shoot off into Hyperspace.

And now the continuation…

The Torgue-anought erupts out of Hyperspace back into normal space. The exit woke Billy up from a nap in the Galley area. After he gets up and stretches Billy heads to the cab/cockpit section with Remington or Remmy (the boar) who had been sleeping with him in tow. Since the visit to Fake Pandora the boar had… slowly worked his way into the crew. Initially, Mr. Torgue was not kidding about eating the boar. It took four days, twenty-three bites from the little boar, several chases, and a fight between the where the little boar somehow learned to fire a Torgue pistol it had grabbed with it jaw to convince Mr. Torgue to not eat the little fellow. Now Remmy was a part of the crew, albeit with the occasional melee and shooting match between the two every few days. As a way to show his membership, Billy had put a checkerboard pattern handkerchief with the Torgue logo around the little boar neck with a pair of old military dog tags. Mister Torgue gave Remmy a purple rarity Torgue pistol in a skag leather holster which the piglet wore on its side. The thing that confused Billy the most though was how the hell did the little boar reload his gun and where did he keep the extra ammo?

Billy and Remmy made it to the cab where Mr. Torgue was looking at a sensor screen on the console. Outside the window, Billy could see they were flying through a large asteroid field with a distant sun on the left and red and tan nebula as a backdrop to the other side.

"So tell me again why the f*ck we're taking this strange route? Hell, I don't even know what system we're in."

"Well after going over some calculations and maps, I was able to find us a shortcut through this asteroid field. It should cut about three days off of our journey. Although it is kind of strange that it's listed as dangerous even though it's only a category asteroid field." Billy said as he took a seat while Remmy jumped up on the top of the dashboard.

"Why was it marked?"

"I don't know, it doesn't have any anomalies or steller phenomenons according to scientific data." Billy continues as Torgue notices some parts of a destroyed spacecraft floating about as they flew through.

"Out of curiosity, what is this area called?"

"It is listed as Area B7R."

Mr. Torgue slowly turns to Billy with a blank face. "Did you just say B7R?"

"Um, yeah… Why?" Billy asked a bit unnerved by Mr. Torgue's uncharacteristically tense reaction.

"BILLY YOU IDIOT, B7R IS THE F*CKING ROUND TABLE! THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST CONTESTED AREA IN ALL OF THE GALAXY BECAUSE IT SMACK DAB BETWEEN THE OSEA AND BELKA TERRITORIES! YOU NAVED US INTO A F*CKING WAR ZONE!"

*BOOM* A sudden explosion rocked the truck as several fighters flew by with several more chasing after them firing away with lasers. Mr. Torgue broke the ship away from the engagement only to end up in a large open expanse of the asteroid field where hundreds of fighters were duking it out.

"Oh god, I have become error." Billy said in fear as he stared at the battle in front of them.

"Not the time to complain, Billy, now get on the radar and find us a way out of here!" Just then the Torgue-anought violently shook as alarms started blaring.

"What the fuck was that?"

"We're taking fire! We got five- NO! TEN BELKAN FIGHTERS ON US!"

"INCOMING MISSILES!" Billy yelled.

"HANG ON!" Mr. Torgue put the space truck into a steep dive and spin causing anything in the ship to start flying around including Remey who was squalling as he flew back and forth. "We're gonna be f*cking stardust at this rate! Billy turned on our countermeasure system!"

"Got it" Billy yelled rapidly searching the controls until he found a set of buttons and hit the activate all countermeasures button.

As the Belken fighters closed in several compartments pop open on the Torgue-anought as turrets, missile launchers, minelayer, pulse defense cannons, and a slingshot throwing explosive rubber duckies all deployed and started firing at the fighters. Several were destroyed by the immediate onslaught of fire as the others broke off.

"I thought you said these were countermeasures, not the SHOT BACK BUTTON!"

"In a F*CKING GUNFIGHT SHOOTING BACK IS A COUNTERMEASURE! NOW HANG THE F*CK ON!"

They ducked back into a denser area of the asteroid field in an attempt to weave through the asteroids dodging fighters and taking several more out. "Okay, there should be an opening in the field we can use to jump out of here up ahead." They flew around a large asteroid and into the opening, only to come face to face with a massive black ship that had slitted wings and a massive hanger deck running the length of its body. And there was a massive battle taking place around it.

"F&CK ME! That a Aigaion-class heavy command cruiser! One of the top ten most dangerous warships according to the Torgue companies yearly consumer report guide! With three-time the firepower of a Dahl Overkill class heavy battlecruiser, and a stem to stern hanger bay that can carry over 500 fighters! . . . We need to get the f*ck away from that thing!"

"I'm plotting a new course- LOOK OUT!" Billy yelled as an out of control Osean AC-1000 flew by and cut them off. Mr. Togure veered the space truck out of the way just in time but put them on course for a new threat. The command cruiser massive hanger.

HANG ON BILLY WE'RE GOING IN!" Mr. Torgue yelled as the Torgue-anought flew into the hanger, all the while trying to dodge, ships, cranes, and well… everything in the hanger.

"We're losing space fast Billy." yelled in panic as he noticed they were getting closer to the middle of the ship.

"No worries I F&CK#NG got this!" Mr. Torgue then proceeded to take out a hammer and smash a glass-covered on the control dash, throw the hammer away and punched the button which read 'FUCK ALL!' on it. All over the space truck more missiles, rockets, cannons popped out and started firing indiscriminately all around them.

If one were to see the cruiser from the outside they would be witness to a chain of explosions ripping along the hull of the ship from the midsection that quickly traveled to the stern which exploded out as a fireball and a single ship flew out.

"YE-HAAAAAAAA!" Mr. Torgue screamed as he flew the ship away from the now sinking cruiser.

"YES! We're home free!" Billy cheered before looking at the sensor screen again. "Oh shit."

"What? What the- Oh Sh*t." Outside the window were two dozen angry Belken starfighters were heading straight at them.

"We got several more on our six as well." Billy cried out. Several warning alarms blurred as several blips shot off the fighters behind them. SHIT, missiles!... To think I'm gonna die because of damn student loans got me here!"

Before anything else could be said the missiles streaked by them, hitting eight of the Belken fighters in front of them and causing the rest to panic and break off.

"We-we're alive? How?" Billy asked.

Before Mr. Torgue could respond four black fighters flew over the Torgue-anought and quickly engaged the running fighters. In a display of complete space dominance, the four fighters quickly dispatch all of the fighters in a beautiful but deadly display of skill and precision. After the fight, the four fighters then came around and formed up on the Torgue-anought wing. Mr. Torgue looked out at one of the fighters and saw on the nose of the closest fighter a painting of Valkyrie like woman on a shield backdrop, just under that was a stylized banner reading Razgriz Space Command Squadron. " _This is R1 callsign Blaze to unidentified ship stated your business_."

Mr. Torgue grabbed a CV trucker radio mic off the dashboard and answered. "This is Mr. Torgue of the Torgue-anought. My copilot actually took us into this area without knowing about the battles here. We were just trying to get the f*ck out of here when we got caught up in the battle… Please don't f*cking nuke us."

" _Nuke you? Buddy you just took out a god-damn Belken Cruiser. We should be slapping a medal on you two and hulling your asses to the nearest bar to buy all the drinks you want!_ " Came a deep masculine voice.

" _Swordsman, let Blaze finish_." A female voice berated.

" _Thank you, Edge. But I don't disagree with R3. I'm sending you coordinates and IFF codes so you can safely navigate through outside of the line and out of here. It the least we can do for assist our efforts_."

"Um, thanks." Mr. Torgue said sheepishly. "I'm not really used to people thanking me for blowing sh*t up."

" _Captain, report from command_." A fourth voice cut in. " _Mobius squadron has spotted the Scinfaxi and are requesting backup_."

" _Roger Archer. Torgue-anought, wish we could escort you out but duty calls. Safe sky and peaceful travels_." The black fighters then broke off and flew at full speed to their next objective.

"Nice bunch." Billy said.

"Yep, let's get out of here." said Mister Torgue as he turned the ship away.


	15. Old Friends...  (Part 2)

It was midday on an early morning cycle on Pandora as a Hyperion convoy, consisting of several cargo trucks with two APCs both at the front and back, drove through the waste. Further up the road Alpha Squad and Gaige were in position behind a ridge in waiting. Gaige was excited, after what she had seen the day before and all of the stories the Alpha's told her the Mechromancer was rearing for a fight. Though she still couldn't figure out was why Kai had been so adamant about not joining them for the raid. He had even tried to block her off several times that morning as well… 'It was probably nothing' she thought as her mind pushed the question aside without a second thought.

" _This is overwatch, the target is two klicks from the target zone. Team Alpha are you ready?_ " Kai's voice sounded over everyone's ECHO's.

"We're ready here. How about the rest of our comrades?" Dirk spoke with an air of confident jubilance in his voice. He was answered with over a dozen Raiders cheering over the ECHO.

"...Whatever, sixty seconds till the target is in the kill box. Stand by." Gaige quickly checked her new corrosive Maliwan SMG she took from the Raiders armory to make sure it was good. Once she finished checking it, she took the small moment to look around at everyone. Ice was standing up and bouncing on the balls of his feet as he spun a pair of Vladof ice pistols in his hands, with a toothy grin on his face. Kare-Kare was staring dreamily at Dirk as she quietly talked to herself about how handsome, brave, masculine, cool, and hunky he was.

Tobias just had an expression of boredom as he casually tossed an explosive barrel in his left hand like a baseball. Jade was at the top of the hill with a sand-colored camo sheet covering her as she watched the convoy with her sniper rifle. As for Dirk, he stood proudly with a confident smile with his Hammer Buster on his back, and his broadsword held in front of him and plunged into the ground with both hands resting on the pommel.

"Thirty seconds. Stand by."

"Alright, it's time to make ourselves known! For the honor of our and for justice let us seize the day my comrade's!" Dirk yelled as he suddenly bolted up the hill with his sword held out. Ice, Tobias, and Kare-Kare rushed after him immediately, leaving Gaige stunned for several seconds by the cool and bold action before she started running after them. As Dirk came over the hill he threw out his photon emitter, releasing Xarvasdys who flew into the air as Dirk raised his sword. "Attack!" Which was followed by everyone yelling over the ECHO, drowning out any coherent conversation.

Xarvasdys flew in and used a fire breath on the first two APCs, setting them on fire but not destroying them as each vehicle in the convoy slammed to a stop. On the sides of all the APCs, dozens of Loaders began digistructing from emitters and started attacking as a dozen Hyperion soldiers dismounted exited the back. From the other hill, Axton and the other Raiders began firing on the Hyperion forces with rockets and machine gun fire.

Three of the Loaders rocket jump over near Gaige and start firing on her. She starts running to make it harder for them to aim while she takes several shots with her SMG at the closest Loader. Several of the corrosive rounds found their mark and quickly chewed through the armor and inter circuitry, causing the Loader to fail and explode.

Gaige then stopped and took aim at the other two Loaders only to immediately have to duck as a fireball shot over her head and exploded ten meters behind her. She looked back to the Loaders and realized they were one of the different types of Loaders Kai had warned her about. Her HUD tagged them as a Hot Loader's which was the same as a normal Loader only painted red and had its right arm replaced with a flamethrower, which both bots had pointing right at her. "OH SHIT!" She yelled as one of them fired again.

Gaige rolled right and slid down the hill barely dodging a scorching burst from the flamethrower. She got back up and deployed DT, DT looked around at the situation and immediately rushed towards the Hot Loaders getting their attention off of his creator.

She was about to help when she heard something land behind her. She turned in time to catch backhanded rifle to the side of her face, knocking her to the ground. She rolled over with a groan of pain before looking up to see a Gun Loader lifting it foot up above her. Working on the adrenaline pumping through her she rolls left down the hill, just barely avoiding the Loaders stomping her face in. She rolled several meters until she managed to stop. Gaige looked to see the Gun Loader had turned to her with its gun at the ready. "CRAP!" Gaige said as she shut her eyes.

*Click, click, click* ". . . An error has occurred."

Gaige opened her eyes to see the loader looking at its gun. "Begining reload… Now." Gaige looked around for her SMG only to realize she had dropped it next to the Loader. "Reload complete. Re-engaging." Reacting quick Gaige pulled her Roger Smuggler and fired a two shot burst, square into the robot eye. It must have been a critical as sparks and smoke burst from where the eye was. "Critical damage detected! Attempting to fix. ERROR! ERROR! 404! ERROR!" Gaige didn't waste any more time as she got up and began putting shot after shot into the Loader. "OW! OUCH! SLAG! FUCK!" After dumping her mag into the bot, it was barely standing. "Error… I feel pain!" The bot said before falling forward into the dirt and sliding down the hill past Gaige.

"TAKE THAT YOU AIMBOTTING SACK 'A CRAP!" She looks over to see that DT had shredded the two Hot Loaders and was currently slowly ripping apart another one by its arms. Taking the reprieve Gaige looked around at the battle and was amazed by what she saw.

Ice was zipping around blasting Loaders and Hyperion engineers at lightning speeds, cryo blasting them with his sprayers, and then shooting them to shatter them. "This is soooo COOOOOOL!" He cheers out as he punches a frozen Commando into a million pieces before rushing off to get another.

Tobias was fighting a pair of Badass Loaders with a large oversized assault rifle. "You try to hurt friends. Tobias HATE PEOPLE WHO HURT FRIENDS!" He blasts the closest one with his assault rifle, blowing the Loader apart. He then dropped his gun and grabbed one of the blow-off autocannons and began to use it like a bat as he started beating the other Badass Loader with it.

"ALPHA! ALPHA! WE ARE ALPHA'S AND WE'RE THE BEST!" Kare-Kare cheered as she danced around with a Tediore Baby Maker SMG in her right hand and a glowing pom-pom in the other. "ALPHA! ALPHA! WE'RE SO COOL!" She continued as she high kicked a Commando. "IF WE CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!" She cheered at the hight of her chant as she tossed the Baby Maker in the air. "Goooooo ALPHA'S!" She cried out happily as her pom-poms glowed blue causing her shield to overcharge just as the Baby Maker exploded and sent out over a dozen child guns that all exploded soon after. When the smoke cleared Kare-Kare was still standing there with her quirky smile on. "Bear-Bear, give me a boost!" The hologram bear, who had been fighting near her turned and cast a blue aura from its baton at the cheerleader that quickly regenerated it masters shields before turning and firing a laser from the heart on it belly which sliced an approaching Loader it apart diagonally.

Gaige heard a roar and looked up to see Xarvasdys fly down and landed in front of one of the remaining APCs. The gun turret turned and fired upon the massive dragon, but it was to little effect. Xarvasdys in retaliation opened his maw and a torrent of fire came out spinning faster than a propeller creating a fire tornado that engulfed the vehicle. After several seconds the flames stopped, leaving a glowing red hot APC which looked melted in several places. The dragon gave a mighty roar before flying off to go after a group of Loaders.

Then there was Dirk, who was standing all cool like in front of five Hyperion commandos with one who had red and black armor with leader markings. "Kill him!" The commando yelled. The four other commandos charged at Dirk firing away as he let his shield eat bullets. As they approached the teen pulled out his Hammer Buster in his right hand and then drew out a Luck Cannon pistol in his left. He fired several shots with the Hammer Buster at the closest target killing the commando and then fired the pistol at another. The sheer power of the round tore through the commando shield and then the man's head which seemed to suddenly explode as if the helmet was made of tissue paper. The third Commando then comes rushing in screaming a war cry. Dirk takes his left fist bashes the soldier in the side of his face with little effort, snapping the man's neck as it whips around. Dirk then turns and catches the last commando in the gut with the bayonet on his Hammer Buster, the soldier gasps in pain before Dirk fires three shots into the man's stomach.

"And here *cough* I thought all the fried habanero bean burritos would *cough cough* get me… in… the end." The Commando choked out before he slid off of the blade as Dirk with his iconic heroic grin turned to the panicking officer. Before Dirk could move a set of sonic booms could be heard over the sounds of battle, as a pair of objects soon landed between them. They unravel themselves to reveal a pair of Badass Loaders who turned to face Dirk.

"HA! What are you gonna do now bandit scum!" The Hyperion commando snarked with newfound confidence.

Dirk put his Hammer Buster on his back and holstered his pistol before drawing his sword. "Kare-Kare! Gallant Alpha strike!"

"Got it Dirky Dearest! Ready, OKAY! WE GOT SPIRIT, YES WE DO! WE GOT SPIRIT HOW BOUT YOU!" She chanted and danced to as Bear-Bear followed. This resulted in an energy pulse forming around both of them, Bear-Bear was red while Kare-Kare was blue. Both pulses hit Dirk and formed a purple aura around him.

"FOR THE HONOR OF MY COMRADES!" Dirk yelled as he charged forward and with his sword raised. The Badass Loaders both fired at the teen but their bullets all deflated off of Dirk's personal shield as if it was nothing. Upon reaching the first one Dirk slashed from left to right through the Loaders midsection, causing it to fall apart. Without pause, he rushed the next Loader. "FOR THE HONOR OF MY HOME!" He yells as to cut the next Loader straight down the middle, splitting it in half. The commando starts running away in fear in a desperate bid to escape. Dirk stopped and seemed to focus the aura around him to transfer to his sword as its blade glowed a deep violet as Dirk position the sword behind him ready to attack. "AND FOR THE HONOR OF MY FAMILY! DRAGON FANG SLASH!" Dirk bellows as he slashed from right to left in front of him causing a violet crescent-shaped wave of energy to shoot from the sword at the commando. The commando turns around just in time to see the wave of energy strike him and slice him in half at the hip.

The Commando upper half lands on the ground and rolls several times before coming to a stop. He looks over to his now separated lower half that was laying several meters from him. "I needed those for the bi-annual kickball tournament... Huk!.. Blaaaa!" The Commando gasped before dying as Dirk spun his sword in hand and sheathing it. As that was happening Gaige who had been watching with star-struck awe noticed that the fighting was starting dying down as the rest of the Alpha's and Raiders finished off the remaining Hyperion troops.

" _Overwatch here, the area is secured for the moment. Engineers move in and disabled the GPS trackers. Everyone else loaded up and secure the wound. Overwatch is moving out... SOMEONE GET BANKS ON THE DAMN HORN!_ " Kai yelled before it shut off.

Gaige ran up to the Alpha's who were cheering and high fiving one another. "Excellent job everyone, you to Gaige. I saw you take down those Loaders. Very impressive."

Um, thanks. It was no big deal." Gaige tried to shrug it off nonchalantly.

"On the contrary, Loaders are formidable foes, take pride in your work!" Dirk said as he gave Gaige a pat on the shoulder. "Now let's get these weapons back to base everyone." He yelled as the Raiders all cheered.

X-X-X

_**~Several hours later~** _

Everyone had just returned to the base at Hollow Point and we're celebrating in the motor pool. "Brothers, Sisters we have had a great victory today!" Dirk yells from atop of one of the captured Hyperion cargo trucks. Every Raider in the area cheered for several seconds until Dirk holds up a hand to settle them down. "Thanks to your hard work today we have acquired the weapons that will ensure our victory against Hyperion in the upcoming battle." Gaige looked around at all the Raiders as they cheered again. She could feel the energy in the air as she looked at all the celebrating troops, and it was infectious.

"We will march to the Hyperion lab and take out the scientist who helped destroy my home. And once we've shown them the justice they deserve, we will move on to the next target and the next until we storm Handsome Jack space station and throw him out of power!" The cheering was now almost thunderous.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" A voice screamed over the noise of the cheering which was quickly silenced. Everyone turned to one of the doors to see Kai flanked by Lieutenant Rong and a medic with bloodied garbs. The crowd parted ways as Kai and the other two walked over as Dirk jumped down to meet them.

"Ah, Kai what seems to be the problem, my friend."

"The problem! YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!" Kai yelled as he jabbed a finger at Dirk. "You didn't follow the plan and jumped the gun!"

"I did so follow the plan." Dirk replied in a cool calm manner.

"Oh really?" Kai growled.

X-X-X

_ **~Flashback~** _

Kai was looking at the Hyperion convoy with five trucks being guarded by two APC's in front and two in the rear speeding towards the target zone.

He put his binoculars down and picked up his ECHO. "This is overwatch, the target is two klicks from the target zone. Team Alpha are you ready?" Kai asked.

" _We're ready here. How about the rest of our fellow comrades?_ " Dirk said with a prideful and confident jubilance. He was answered with over a dozen Raiders cheering over the ECHO.

Kai just sighed. "Whatever, sixty seconds till the target is in the kill box." Kai was up on a large rock outcropping in the open maw of one of the many dead Giga creatures that dotted Pandora. With him was Lt. Rong, an Indonesian man who didn't wear a helmet who looked to be in his early thirties and was armed with a Dahl sniper. They also had two other Raiders who had an old Dahl 81mm mortar set up in a large camouflaged fox hole five meters down in front of them.

The plan was simple, let the Hyperion convoy roll in-between the two hills and into a set of remote activated IED's that were buried to the sides of the road. When the first two APC's are destroyed the mortar team will hit the rear APC's. Then once the APCs were destroyed the ground teams which included Gaige, the Alpha's, Axton, and the other Raiders would all move on both sides and clear out any remaining guards. Once dealt with the engineers would disable the tracking devices on the supply trucks and everyone would mount up and get the hell out of there before the moon base caught wind and started raining Loaders down on them.

"Thirty seconds. Stand by." Kai reports on the ECHO. "Welp time to see how this plays out." Kai said as Rong just let out a snort at this. "What so funny?" He asked Rong as he glanced at the officer.

"Nothing." Rong muttered.

Kai just shook his head and looked back through his binoculars. "Fifteen seconds. Group B prepare to-"

" _Attack!"_ Dirk yelled over the ECHO, as Kai saw him rush over the hill and deploy his dragon.

"What!? NO! DON'T ENGAGE! REPEAT, DON'T ENGAGE YET!" Kai yelled but there was already too much yelling and hollering over the ECHO for anyone to hear. He watched as Xarvasdys flew in front of the convoy and used a fire breath on the first two APC's and set them on fire for only several seconds. This caused the convoy to come to a halt 40 meters short the trap. Several of the Raiders chose that moment to rush over the hill and begin to wildly fire upon the APCs as they started deploying troops.

"Dammit, Dirk!" Rong yelled. "This is starting to turn out just like that jockstrap incident last month!"

"Wait you knew this would happen!?" Kai asked.

"This shit happens on every mission those idiots go on. Myself, these two numbnuts," he points to the mortar team "and all of our medics here and at the base are the only ones who don't blindly follow the fool. . . At least anymore."

Kai looked back at the cluster fuck of a fight that was now all over the place. "DAMMIT! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE CALLED THIS OFF!"

Kai and Rong watched as Xarvasdys flew over again, shooting fireballs all around the convoy and setting the two front APC's, however, this wasn't doing much to their armor as their turrets were ignoring the dragon and instead concentrating their fire on teams B and C, who were taking heavy damage. Meanwhile, the Alpha's were seemingly just ignored by the turrets as they had swept in from the other side of the convoy and were attacking random guards and robots with no specific goal in mind as far as Kai could see.

"SHIT! TOM, JESS, get mortar fire on those ACP's!" Rong yells as the two Raider immediately start firing shells as fast as possible. Kai grabbed a Jakob sniper in front of him and started firing at anything in Hyperion yellow as Rong also starts firing with his own sniper. After a few minutes of this, they had managed to take out three of the APC's, and at least a dozen Hyperion soldiers and twice the Loaders. In Kai's opinion, things were not good but they weren't bad either until a set of sonic booms got their attention. A pair of Badass Loaders landed near the Alpha's but four more had landed directly on the hill B team was using along with several Gun Loaders. Kai could see from his position that Axton and over a dozen Raiders were taking major damage from the Loaders.

"Get some mortar shells over there to help team B!" Rong yelled at the mortar team.

"We can't fire sir! The mortar barrel is too hot, we risk cooking a round off if we keep firing!" The Raider named Tom yelled back. Kai looked and saw the Mortar was in fact smoking from use and knew the man was right. "Fuck!" Kai muttered as he pulled open his inventory and pulled out a pair of rocket launchers and ammo. "That's all I got! Don't stop firing till you've taken that last APC out! Will cover Bravo."

Kai goes to load his Sniper but finds he's basically out of sniper ammo, cursing himself for not bringing extra ammo he pulls out the Clementine and begins firing at the reinforcements as Rong fired with his own sniper.

As Kai was looking down the sights of his rifle, he saw several Raiders being cut down by a Badass Loader. In the middle of the fray, Axton was taking out a Gun Loader when one of the Badass Loaders turned towards him. Reacting quick, Kai fired a shot right into the Loader's eye. The force of the round destroyed its eye but not before the Loader fired one of its auto-cannons. A single round tore right into Axton's chest as Kai watched him crumple to the ground.

"SHIT! AX!" Kai yelled in shock. Immediately another Loader tried to move in to finish the Vault Hunter off but Kai fired off several rounds that quickly dispatched the would-be assassins cannons from its body. He looked back to Axton to see a single medic was already trying to patch him up. 'Not again' Kai thought as he could make out the blood on the medics' hands.

"That Badass is trying to flank!" Rong yelled, bringing Kai back to reality. Making him focus on the problem at hand.

The fight was quickly wrapped up as the last of the Hyperion troops and Loaders were dealt with while the last APC went up in a fireball thanks to a rocket from Jess. All over they could hear the surviving Raiders starting to cheer in victory much to Kai ire. He looked back to where B and C teams were and could see several medics rushing around trying to help over a dozen wounded and possibly dead Raiders, including Axton.

"Overwatch here, the area is secured for the moment. Engineers move in and disabled the GPS trackers. Everyone else loaded up and secure the wound. Overwatch is moving out… SOMEONE GET BANKS ON THE DAMN HORN!" Kai barked to the one of the Raiders he was with as he deactivated his ECHO. "Rong, call back to base and alert the med team we got wounded coming in." Rong nodded and immediately whipped out his own ECHO as Kai looked back over the battlefield before him. "Why does this shit keep happening?"

X-X-X

_**~Flashback over~** _

Kai glared at Dirk for several seconds after finishing his account of the mission. "Because of your rash decision attack before the convoy reached the target point, WE HAD OVER A DOZEN CASUALTIES!" Kai yelled.

"And their sacrifices shall be remembered." Dirk said somberly as Kare-Kare and Ice cried anime tears behind him while saluting.

"Those deaths and injuries could have been avoided!" Kai yelled.

"It the same thing with you idiots." Rong angrily pitched in. "Every time you go out on one of these missions with other teams you either jump the gun and cause people to die or you give stupid contradictory orders that cause people to needlessly die when you shouldn't even be giving orders." Rong said.

"HEY! DON'T CALL DIRKY POO'S ORDERS STUPID! HE LEADING US TO VICTORY!" Kare-Kare shrieked with a look that screamed you'll be sorry. A dozen other Raiders also started yelling out in anger at the _accusation_.

"Blaming Dirk for something he had no part in man, that so UN-COOOOOL MAN!" Ice yelled.

"Kai, aren't you guys being a little tough?" Gaige asked from the top of the truck. Kai just shot her a disapproving glare.

"Gaige, didn't you hear me? Their actions got Axton a ticket to the infirmary with a fucking autocannon shell in his shoulder."

"Wait? Axton was injured?" Surprising Gaige as if she only just heard it.

"Hardly." Everyone turned to see Axton without a shirt on with his chest and left shoulder all bandaged up. "Soooo... what did I miss?" He asked in a carefree tone.

"Why aren't you in the med bay!?" The medic by Kai shouted.

"Why would I need to be in that boring place." Axton rotated his left arm.

"STOP MOVING THAT! You took a 15mm incendiary round to the shoulder. AT POINT BLANK RANGE!" The frustrated medic replied.

"Oh, tis but a scratch." Axton playfully replied in a mock British accent before bursting into a fit of giggles.

Kai just gave the man a deadpan look for several seconds. "Ax, what the hell are you hopped up on?"

"Morphine. This stuff is so awesome! It always makes me feel soooooo good... You guys gotta try it, this shit is sooooo dope." He whispered not so quietly before bursting into another fit of giggles.

Kai's face palmed himself. "I'm surrounded by idiots." He muttered as Axton started quietly singing and dancing the Macarena.

"See, he's right as rain. And for those we did lose today, we will show our respect for their honor and commitment by standing over the ruins of the Hyperion lab victoriously by the end of tomorrow raid." Dirk said to the cheers of the Raiders.

Kai, Rong, and the medic eyes all widened at the statement. "Woah, wait a second, what do you mean tomorrow?" Kai asked.

"Exactly what I said, we will be attacking while the iron is hot by attacking the lab and out the coward who helped kill our planet tomorrow. And with the grand plan I have devised, we shall be victorious!" Dirk proudly proclaimed, receiving another round of cheers.

"THAT FUCKING INSANE! If you attack tomorrow then you'll just be asking for a massacre!" The medic yelled.

"Hardly, Dirk has performed this plan dozens of times, and we survived and succeeded each time. Plus there always so cooooOOOOOL!" Ice said

Kai narrowed his eyes at the knight. "Just what is your _grand_ plan if I may ask?" Kai asked in a demanding tone.

"It is a time tested strategy, one that has never failed me. We shall amass our forces near the lab, then at high noon we shall rush the ramparts of the Hyperion stronghold in all of our glory and overwell their defenses. Once we've broken through the Alpha's will move in and face down Dr. Lobotomous and arrest him for his crimes." Dirk proudly stated as he puffed his chest causing the raiders to cheer and Kare-Kare and several other female Raiders to swoon. All the while Kai just stared at the man with a deadpan look.

". . . So basically the same plan you always use. Rush in guns blazing, leave your backup to deal with the bulk of the enemy forces while you and your team go in to fight the big evil boss and then take all of the glory and loot."

"That is correct my friend." Answered Dirk, completely missing the verbal jab.

Kai let out a depressed sigh. "Yeah, sounds just like the other fifty times you've made a plan."

"And Dirky senpai plans have never failed before!" Kare-Kare cheered out as she struck a cheer pose.

"Yeah, until you look at the casualty reports. Your attrition rates are goddamn abysmal." Kai retorted.

"And what would you even do?" Kare-Kare asked in a lofty tone.

"Wait a few days, maybe a week at least, and let them think it was a one-off attack. Then once enough time has passed, hit them at night under the cover of darkness and strike a weak position such as a loading dock."

"And maybe do some actual recon for once." Rong added to which Kai whirled around to him with a look of disbelief before looking back to Dirk.

"Wait, are you telling me there has been no recon!? How do we even know Dr. Lobotomus is even there?" Kai asked in shock.

"I have it on good authority that he is working on a project at that facility." Dirk stated.

"You found a note on a Hyperion courier you guys killed last week that requested an immediate order for ten bags of Sungara blend dark brew coffee for one Mr. Lobotomous." Rong shot back. "We aren't even sure if it is the same Doctor who helped kill your planet!"

"It has to be him! Only someone so heartless and evil enough to kill a planet full of people would indulge in Sungara blend coffee."

Kai just stared at Dirk completely dumbfounded with a slight eye twitch before letting out a sigh and rubbing temples. "You're basing your intelligence... on the type of coffee that this facility has ordered... and an incomplete name?… Of course, you are." Kai said as he face palmed himself. He went silent for several seconds and then let out another long tired sigh. "Fuck it, as of right now I am canceling all planned missions, including tomorrow's raid, after the shit show I saw today and the bullshit command structure of this unit it's obvious that it will need some serious retraining and restructuring."

"What!? Kai, you can't do that. That unCOOOOL YO!" Ice yelled.

"The fuck I can." Kai pulls out a letter from his pocket and holds it up open for all to see. This here is a written order from Roland himself giving me the authority to take command in the event that I find that this unit is incapable of properly conducting itself in a professional, safe, and organized manner. And after today's little show which may I _remind_ you, got over a dozen Raiders and a freaking Vault Hunter either injured or killed, shows me that this unit cannot properly conduct itself in a professional, _safe_ , and organized manner! That incident shows how bad things are around but after this little chat, it shows that the bulk of you are blind idiots!"

"Kai, if you cancel the mission then Dr. Lobotomous will getaway. We may never have another chance to get him!" Dirk stated.

"Another chance? Dirk, your intel is based on coffee! Fucking coffee! It's obvious that this is a wild goose chase! Even if you did get lucky and it turns out that Lobotomous is actually there, all you got for a plan is to rush in guns blazing into a heavily guarded and fortified facility, armed with who knows how many troops, Loaders and other defenses at their disposal! Give me one reason why I should let you and the rest of the idiot brigade go on a mission that sounds like it was written up by a five-year-old!"

"For COOOOOL." Ice yelled.

"For friendship." Tobias softly spoke.

"For LOVE!" Kare-Kare cheered.

With a confident grin and a glint in his eyes, Dirk stood tall and proudly in front of everyone. "And because it is the right and honorable thing to do."

Everyone just stared at the group for several moments until Axton cut in. "Sounds like a good enough reason to me… I can dig it… Does anyone else taste purple." He asked as Kai just groaned.

"Okay, firstly, Mr. Cloud Nine over there doesn't get a say in this while he got a case of the super munchies. Second, not good enough! In fact, those reasons sound as asinine as an after school action cartoon that uses every stupid and annoying cliche in the book. Hell, I'm pretty sure this could pass for a campy kids' action show if it was shown on TV. Especially since you idiots already fit the bill for a group of teenagers with attitude. All we're missing now are the overly colorful spandex suits, a talking ghost head or something in a big ass jar for a wise leader, and the stupid random themed monster of the week to fight! But back to our original topic, my answer is no, and on top of that, I'm going to make sure you idiots get busted down in rank so far down that the only thing you'll be entitled to be responsible for is latrine detail at a Hyperspace gas station!

"Hey… That's not nice." Tobias slowly said.

Kai gave Tobias a slightly remorseful look before giving a sigh. "No, it's not nice. And I admit that, but it's also the truth." Kai turned back to Dirk with a look of angry determination. "You may not see it but you are a bloody menace, Dirk. Every time you go out there on a mission, people needlessly die all around you, both enemies and friendlies. I honestly think you are nothing more than an idiot who is too naive to see the consequences of their own actions." He glared at Dirk for several more seconds before turning away with Hati in tow. "Alright, everyone, stow the gear and find something to do. This discussion is over." He said as himself Rong, Hati, and the medic started to leave.

"Turning and running away again Kai, this is just like five years ago man. HOW UNCOOOOOOOOL!" Ice yelled after Kai, making him stop.

Kai glanced over his shoulder at the Alphas with a cold glare. "At least I'm not leaving a trail of friendly bodies in my wake." Kai coldly jabbed before continuing to walk away. "Gaige, Axton, rest up and get sober. We're going back to Sanctuary tomorrow." Kai yelled. All the while Dirk starred on with disappointment in his eyes as Kai walked away, while Kare-Kare looked like she was trying to stare literal daggers into his back.

Gaige jumped down from the truck by the Alphas. "Let me try and talk to him." She said before running after Kai. She soon caught up with Hati and Kai who had split off from Rong and the Medic. "Kai wait!"

He turned to look at her as she ran up to him. "What's sup Gaige?"

"What's sup? How about what just happened back there!"

"There's nothing else to talk about. The mission is scrapped, that's all there is to it." Kai said in a definitive tone.

"So you're going to let the chance to get vengeance on one of the guys who help kill your planet just pass you?"

"NOT IF THAT-..." Kai stopped and took a deep breath. "Not if Dirk is involved. Plus as I stated before we've now lost the element of surprise and we're working on weak intel, so going in so soon now would just lead to a massacre."

"You can't be sure of that."

"I've fought Hyperion long enough to know that it _will_ happen. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if this was all some elaborate trap set up by Handsome Jack to try and kill us! Besides, as I stated before, Dirk is an idiot. An idiot who would charge headfirst into danger without a second thought. And as I said yesterday, I don't want you hanging around him."

"Kai you're just being jealous, Dirk and the Alphas are all great people! Why can't you just trust them?"

Kai suddenly whipped around and stared at her down. "TRUST THEM! I will never trust them! The Alpha's are a bunch of idiots, fools, and backstabbing fucktards who are all pomp and no substance that should never be trusted. Especially Dirk! He's the biggest fool of them all, I trusted them at one time and what did it get me, it got me burned, rejected, hated by those who follow him blindly. And worst of all his little cool kid's club took something that I will never be able to get back, something that I will never forgive him for! So don't you dare think it's jealousy, BECAUSE DIRK AND HIS POSIE HAVE NOTHING I COULD EVER WANT!… Almost nothing." He muttered the last part, causing Gaige some confusion at that. "But even that is some I will never be able to get back."

"Wha- What are?" Gaige tried to ask but was still taken back by Kai's sudden outburst.

Kai gave a frustrated sigh before turning to leave. "We're done here, get some sleep, we got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow." He ordered.

"Where are you going?" Gaige asked.

"To make a phone call, and clear my head."

"But Kai-"

"End of discussion Gaige." He said as he continued to walk away with Hati, leaving the confused teen with her own thoughts and many new and unanswered questions.

X-X-X

Kai kicks a beer can out of the way in frustration as he walks past several old mining vehicles in the back lot of the base while Hati sits down behind him. "THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS!... I don't get it, how can they just let him parade around like that! And Gaige. GAIGE of all people has even fallen for the bastard, she's smarter than this… Or at least I thought she was. Honesty it like Dirk just smiles and puts everyone under a spell or something… What do you think?"

Hati just gave a few woofs and grunts in response.

*Sigh*. "Yeah, that sounds about right." Kai said as he pulled out his ECHO and punches in a contact. After several seconds it was answered.

" _Roland here_."

"Boss, it Kai."

" _Ah, Kai, it's good to hear from you._ " Roland answered.

" _Hey, killer!"_

"Lil?"

" _Yeah, Roland and me just going over stuff here, so what sup?_ "

"Things have gone straight up FUBAR creek without a paddle, that's what up."

"... _Kai, I'm sure it can't be that bad?_ " Roland asked.

"No actually, that was putting it fucking mildly. Banks had us assist in an ambush today, which while successful was a complete cluster fuck of bravado first, caution later. Eight dead Roland. EIGHT DEAD! We've got another five with heavy injuries, one guy is gonna lose a leg from what I've been told and Ax has a new 15mm hole in his shoulder. Plus the command structure here is a complete goddamn joke!"

" _Woah... What about those new recruits that Cpt. Banks spoke so highly about_?" Lilith asked.

"They're the ones who caused this whole mess! In fact, I would have never let them in the Raiders had I been here at the beginning. *Sigh* It just like New Bergen all over again... WHY OUT OF EVERYONE, DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT FUCKING BASTARD AND HIS GAGLE OF MARRY IDIOTS WHO COULD HAVE SURVIVED!"

" _I take it you know these recruits?_ " Roland asked.

"Unfortunately yes. There are fou... Five of them, all survivors from Polaris. However, their leader is the epitome of bad judgment and leadership. Yet somehow this guy has the charisma of a god and just has to open his mouth to get people to think he is the best thing since sliced bread. Hell, Gaige and Axton are even being swayed by Dirk. Everywhere he goes he talks nearly everyone around him into following his _great_ cause or _brilliant_ plan of the day, to the point where they would likely throw themselves off a cliff and into the fires of the Eridium Blight if they thought it would help Dirk… Luckily he's not the dark evil type, he's just has a big righteous heart and a raisin for common sense and foresight."

" _So, he an idiot."_ Lilith bluntly said.

"Yes, and a very persuasive one at that. I once saw a platoon throw themselves at three squads of RPG and ION Loaders after he gave a _rousing_ speech. Twelve of them died in that attack, all for five crates of low-quality Hyperion SMGs. Yet they still praise the ground he walked on afterward because he is the _best fighter_ in Rebellion, the face of the future, the promise of tomorrow! And since they got here, they've been wreaking havoc." Kai paused for a moment to think about it.

"Actually, his charismatic charm may have affected me to some degree for even letting him be a part of the ambush." Kai shakes the thought off before he thinks too deep into it. "Where was I? Right, I've checked the base reports of some of the last few missions here again, while the success rate is up and everything looks all fine and dandy on the mission report, the medical reports show another story altogether.

" _What do you mean?_ " Roland asked.

"The casualty and injury count has tripled in the last month alone, and since the Alpha's joined there have been twenty-four dead and almost twice that wounded, and that is not even counting today's mission. Someone has been omitting these facts from the reports you've been receiving."

" _Shit, what does Banks have to say about this?_ " Roland asked.

"He seems to be just as blinded as the rest of them, hell I haven't even seen him all day. Not that it matters much as the man has basically given the idiots the run of the whole branch, most have even started calling Dirk the Commander."

" _Wait, Banks is just letting a group of teenagers have complete command? That's insane_."

" _Lil right, that is insane. Kai, I want you and Axton to put a hold on all operations immediately_."

"Way ahead of you sir. I've already ordered the cancellation of the most bullshit mission I have ever heard of. I mean for fuck sakes, they're basing their entire mission on an intelligence report about a memo request for coffee, _fucking coffee_! . . . And people wonder why I have anger issues." The teen muttered.

" _... I think I will have to send in the heavy guns for this mess."_ Roland muttered. " _I'm sending someone out to take command, so just stay put till then_."

"Do I have to? I wanted to get Gaige and Axton away from them ASAP before Dirk and his gang tries to drag them into something even more stupid and dangerous."

" _You have your orders, soldier. I want a full report and sitrep in the morning_." Roland said. " _Now get some rest, that's an order_."

*Sigh* "Yes sir. Kai out." He put his ECHO away and looked to Hati. "Well it not much, but hopefully we can get someone to handle this bloody mess buddy."

*Woof woof!*

"Don't fucking remind me. Anyways go ahead and power down, you've been out for a while now. Hell, I should probably get some rest too like Roland said."

Hati gave a bark and deactivated as Kai pulled out a stick of Rakk jerky and started eating it to calm down. *Sigh* "Fuck my life." * **WHACK** *

Kai suddenly found himself on the ground with a throbbing headache. He groaned as the turned over, only to receive another painful hit to the head. All Kai could hear was laughter as his mind soon faded to black.


	16. New Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There a Loot guide at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!

Rong had been searching the base for Kai, who he hadn't seen since the evening before for well over an hour now. "Kai. Hey Kai where are you?" He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. Since the little… argument yesterday the whole base has been on edge. The bulk of the base's personnel were now split into two opposing groups. On the one side, there were the medical staff and a few others who were backing Kai's decision to put a hold on operations, but the majority resented the decision and supported the newly coined _General_ Dirk. Now it was a tense standoff as to what should be done as both Kai and the Alphas seemed to be missing.

On top of this, Captain Banks was drunk off his ass, singing old songs of victory and honor in the command center, _again_. This left him as the commanding officer of a base where it's personnel were more willing to follow the words of an idiot than an actual officer. An idiot who would run off a cliff if it meant a _righteous_ victory and drag every follower under his command with him, Rong thought. Rong had seen it all before with several old COs back in his Crimson Lance, but never to this degree, never to this level of stupidity. It was as if everyone had 'drunk the kool-aid' as they used to say.

In his brewing frustration, Rong kicked a beer can that flew several meters and hit an old cargo container with a small 'clank' before falling to the ground.

*CLANG!*

Rong was spooked by the sudden noise. He looked around for the source but didn't see anyone. *CLANK! CLANK!* He turned and noticed a safe box sitting on an old workbench shaking around, immediately he went over and opened it. Inside he found an ECHO device and another device that he had seen Kai wear. Rong grabbed both items and started looking them over for any clues. As he did a small metal sphere fell out of the box and rolled next to his boot. "What the?" He muttered as he looked down at it. The sphere glowed and flashed as Hati flew out, knocking down and pinned Rong to the ground. Hati maw hovered close to Rong's face as the wolf let out an angry growl. "EASY! EASY! I'M UNARMED!" Rong panicked.

Hati looked the man over before realizing who it was and slowly stepped off of him. After catching his breath the officer looked to the wolf. "Hati. Right?" Rong asked as he sat up. Hati looked at him and nodded. "Okay… where is Kai?" Hati looked around for several seconds and sniffed the air some before he ran to a nearby container and started clawing at the door. Rong got up and walked over just as Hati flickered and dispersed in a swarm of particles, letting the Photon emitter fall to the ground. Rong walked over and picked up the emitter before looking at the door. There was a heavy padlock on the door which he didn't even think twice about as he pulled his sidearm out and shot it off.

Rong quickly opened the door to find Kai tied up and knocked out on the floor. "SHIT! KAI!" Rong rushed to him and started checking him over. "Hey come on kid you can't leave me to deal with all of these idiots alone asshole!" Rong said as he slapped Kai on the cheek several times, trying to wake him up.

"Uhm... it's too cold for training drills Colonel." Kai mumbled.

"Oh for- WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Rong yelled as he gave Kai a heavy slap that had the intended effect of snapping the teen awake.

"AGH! Son of a bitch man. What was…" Kai stopped and took stock of his current situation before letting out an angered groan. "Oh, that fucking _bitch_!" Kai yelled. "Where Dirk and his team?"

"I haven't seen them today." Rong shrugged.

Kai just muttered a curse under his breath as he looked around the room. A frown appeared on his face as he looked. "Where's my gear?"

"You mean this?" Rong held out his ECHO and Hati's photon pack which Kai took and quickly re-equipped. He looked around again then back to the Raider.

"What about my rifle?"

"That's all I found." Rong said with a shrug.

Kai was taken aback by this as normally he was never far from that rifle. 'Okay so I know that I had it on me before being knocked out and tied up by…' Kai thought until a look of realization came over his face. "Oh, that fucking cunt faced bitch of a drunken fat whale of a whore! She took my gun!" Kai yelled as he jumped up with an angry scowl. "Come on, we need to get to the command center." Kai growled as he ran out with Rong chasing after.

X-X-X

Axton was sitting in the nearly empty command center with a steel mug of black coffee (or what passed for coffee on Pandora) while watching Captain Banks dancing on the holo table singing a drunken version of _Blood on the Risers_. Axton was just getting over the last of the morphine effects from the day before much to his cringe. Compared to what it may have seemed he actually hated the stuff, as he always did loopy and embarrassing things when he was hopped up on it, only then to walk up the next day feeling like his body was in wet cement in two times gravity with a hangover on top of it. It was morphine that got him hitched to his ex-wife in the first place, luckily that had actually worked out for a while until he pissed off Dahl high command and had to run away in order to live… But if he was being honest with himself he really didn't regret the choice.

Axton was about to take another sip when the door to the command center slammed open to reveal a pissed off Kai with a confused looking Lt. Rong in tow. Kai marched to the table that the Captain was on, jumped up and Sparta kicked the man straight off, leaving the man crumpled up on the floor in pain. "WOAH! What the shit kid!?" Axton yelled.

"Axton?" Kai said in surprise as he was not expecting to find the man there. He narrowed his eyes at the Commando. "Are you still on cloud nine?" Kai asked with a judgmental glare.

"No. Just a metric of pain and a hangover." The man replied.

"Good. That saves us some time, now then, WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW ARE YOU RUNNING BANKS!" Kai yelled as he jumped down from the table next to the man.

"The hell is wrong with you Kai?" Axton asked as he watch the sense in confusion.

"I tell you what's wrong! I got knocked out, tied up, and locked in a damn cargo container all night by Dirk's personal cheerleader slash slut!" Kai said with a tone of unbridled rage in his voice.

"Wait Kare-Kare tied you up? Why would she do that?" Rong asked.

"Tell me, does it seem a little _too_ quiet in the base today?" Kai asked, as he sweeping an arm around the whole room.

It took Rong several seconds to connect the dots, but when he did the Lieutenant visible froze and looked to his Captain. "Sir, where is everyone and the Alphas?"

Banks sat up and gave a drunken smile. "They're off to see the wizard!~" He sang out.

"What?" Rong asked.

"Yeah, every trooper... and even that cute little red-haired girl with the cool robot arm are off to defeat the evil witch doctor, before he steals me booze and charges me for ten years of tax evasion." Banks drunkenly said with a loopy grin.

"Wait, Gaige went with them!?" Kai asked turning back to Banks only to find him lying back on the floor and snoring. Kai just sneered. "Tsk. Useless idiot. Rong, you're in charge here, I need to come up with a plan."

"WOAH! Hold on, what the hell is going on? Where is everyone and what happened to you?" Axton asked.

Kai looked between the two men before letting out a drawn-out sigh.

_ **~Flashback~** _

"Ugh, what the fuck." Kai moaned as he tried to move, only to realize that his hands and feet were tied up and he was inside of an old freight container. Just then Kai heard a familiar yet very despised laugh, he turned to see Kare-Kare sitting on a nearby wooden crate with her legs crossed with an _innocent_ expression on her face, with Bear-Bear in her lap. "Kare what the fuck is this!? Why am I tied up, where's Hati!?"

"Your mutt? oh don't worry about him, he locked away someplace nice and safe." She said as her damn Bear just laughed. "As for why you're tied up, well that's simple, you got in the way of my dear Dirky pie plan." She gushed as Bear-Bear jumped off her lap. "I mean how can you treat someone who's gone through so much hardship and lose so unfairly? And after all the good he and the Alphas have done for Polaris and Pandora." She asked sweetly.

"All the good, are you crazy? Your actions have gotten more of our own people killed then the enemy. Your team action caused the direct deaths of eight men today!" Kai growled.

"They served their purpose." Kare-Kare waved off.

"Served their purpose!? You evil uncaring _bitch_!" * **SMACK** * "FUCK!" Kai shouted in pain before looking to his right to see that it was Bear-Bear who had smacked him with its baton. However, the bear now looked different. Its eyes were now a glowing blood red that had an evil glint in them and seemed to have a more sinister smile as it chuckled.

Kare-Kare meanwhile gasped at the accusation. "I care! I care about Dirk! He's all I care about, after all, he's just so perfect!" Kare-Kare gushed with a dreamy look on her face. Kai had no inclination of trying to figure out what she was imagining. He was sure he would regret it if he did.

"Okay, so I talked down on Dirk's actions today, big deal. Being tied up and thrown in a storage container seems a little… excessive, even for a bitch like you. * **WHACK!** * "SON OF BITCH! I swear to god, I will rip the stuffing out of you. I don't care if you are a hologram, I'll find a way!" Kai yelled as the bear cackled.

The teen girl merely giggled at the inflicted pain on her prisoner. "That part of the reason, but the fact is you're just in the way. We're gonna go on that mission you tried to cancel, after all, it's another important step in Dirk's grand plan!"

"Dirk's grand plan?" Kai asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, my grand plan actually. We work our way up the chain of power and defeat Handsome Jack. Once we do, we will take control of Hyperion as its new leaders, and then use its powers to take back Zallerth, his kingdom, and his throne. Then, once we've slain those that have stolen his throne and kingdom he'll finally profuse his love for me after standing with him through it all!" She cheered like a giddy fan-girl. "And then will have a grand royal wedding that will be broadcasted to the universe and will live together happily ever after, as King Dirk Hardpeck and Queen Karen Hardpeck!" She said with a sinisterly happy smile as she cupped her face with a heavy blush. Kai would say later that he swore he could see hearts fluttering in her eyes.

Kai just stared in horror at this revelation. "Oh… My… God…! You're not crazy, you're just the absolute epitome of entitled batshit insanity!"

"Bear-Bear." Kare-Kare asked all knowingly.

*SMACK!* "OW! THAT IT! I'M FUCKING REFORMATING YOUR MEMORY CORE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! And you're not going to get away with this… Karen. YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WI- *GHACK*" Kai choked as the Bear grabbed his nose and held his head back while Kare-Kare shoved a flask into his mouth making him drink all its content. She soon removed it once it was empty causing Kai to cough for air.

"Oh you simple fool." She giggled. "I've already gotten away with it. By the time anyone finds you, we will be celebrating our victory, which the Crimson Raiders at Sanctuary will recognize and then invite us to join them. Then will be one step closer to Dirk's final goal and our destined matrimony." She boasted as she tossed the flask away as she twirled around. "See you at the victory party loser~. Oh, but you will still probably be knocked out cold by then if your past tolerance to alcohol is anything to go by."

"You goddamn. . . fucking. . . cunt." Kai rasped out before blacking out.

_**~Flashback End~** _

Everyone stared at Kai for several moments. "Holy shit, I knew that chick was crazy, but to be that crazy is…" Rong started to say but no one needed to fill in the blanks to that thought.

"Eh, it's Dirk, I'm sure they'll be fine. I trust him." Axton shrugged.

"Axton how can you say that!? You've been on only one mission with him." Kai asked as he scowled at the man

"And it was a success."

"You got shot!" Kai shouted.

"Details, details." Axton waved off.

"We lost eight Raiders because he jumped the gun." Rong stated with a sharp undertone of anger and regret.

"We lost eight men, Axton. Tell me how is that a successful mission." Kai reiterated. "And now that same idiot is leading Gaige and the other Raiders into danger far worse then what we faced!" Kai stated as his temper grew.

"Gaige is fine, she is in the New-U system."

Kai's anger boiled over as he marched up to the Commando and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "THAT WON'T WORK AXTON. HYPERION HIGH SECURITY AND R&D SITES HAVE ENCRYPTED NEW-U NETWORKS AND JAMMERS PREVENTING UNAUTHORIZED RESPAWNS! MEANING IF GAIGE DIES IN OR EVEN AROUND THE PLACE THEN SHE DIES FOR GOOD!" Kai yelled in anger.

There was a sudden slight glow in Axton's eye that seemed to just as suddenly fade to no one's notice. Axton for a second felt as if a haze had been lifted from his mind as he slowly began to process the information until the realization hit him like a flying bowling ball. Kai let go of him, let Axton take several steps back. "W-what. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ASSHOLE THINKING, COME ON WE GOTTA SAVE THEM." Axton yelled as he jumped up to try and rush out of the room only for Kai to grab him by the back of his jacket and held him back.

"Hold up brother bear. Good to see you come to your senses but we got another problem. They have a two hour lead on us. As it stands, even if we leave right now it will take almost three hours to get there by Technical, even a Runner at full speed can't go much faster."

Axton looked at Kai in disbelief. "So... are you saying all we can do is hope for the best?"

"I hate to say it… but yeah." Kai said grimly.

"FUCK!" Axton yelled as he kicked a chair over. As they had been talking, Rong had been keeping silent. "Come on Kai! There got to be something we can do!"

"I may have something that can get you there faster." Rong said getting the Vault Hunters' attention.

X-X-X

Just outside of the Crimson Raider HQ an old man was working away. The old man had finally fixed his cart after two days of hard work and had just placed the last cabbage on it. With a satisfied smile of a job well done, the man turned to put a few tools away when the garage door to the Crimson raider base his cart was parked in front of opened up. The roar of a jet engine firing up could be heard as two headlights cut through the darkness, followed by the sound of spinning tires. Reacting on impulse the old man jumped to the side as a polished steel skinned car barreled out of the garage and smashed through the cart, turning it into a shower of wood splinters and minced cabbages. The old man watched as the car quickly turned and raced down the street and out of sight. Then the old man just looks at where his cart was. "MY CABBAGES!"

The car soon flew out of one of the tunnels leading from Hollowpoint revealing it to be a Racer variant of a Runner. This Racer however had been heavily customized with a new minigun turret constructed from a pair of Vladof sniper barrels set up to make a four-barrel gatling gun. At the front, the single machine gun had been replaced by a pair of newer smaller caliber guns that had increased fire rates in trade for power. Also added to the front was a lightweight ram bar mounted on the nose with ports cut out for the guns. Finally, the single booster engine that all previous Racers had was replaced by a set of three smaller but slightly longer engines that were set up in a pyramid setup. On the side of the frame, the words _Racer MK III_ was painted in black stylized letters.

"Who would have thought the medics were all a bunch of motorheads!" Axton yelled excitedly from the turret.

"I know, right. Scooter is going to be so jealous when he sees this beauty!" Kai replied as he drove.

It was quiet for a minute after that as they rode through the winding hills. "Sorry for… Sorry for ignoring you, and being an idiot. I should have realized just how stupid those kids are. Honestly, I don't even know what I saw in them."

"It's not your fault, it's Dirk's. The guy just seems to put everyone he meets into a trance or something… Hell, I was the same way for a time."

"What happened between you and them? Drik did say you were a part of the Alphas for a short time?" Axton asked.

"Yea… For all of four missions, but the fifth one. Well…"

Excluding the wind and the engine, there was a thick heavy silence between the two Vault Hunters. ". . . You lost someone." Axton said.

Kai was silent for several more seconds before letting out a sigh. "I had two good friends growing up, Jenny… and Tobias."

"Wait, the big guy? You were friends with that crazy, slow as tar muscle head."

"OI! He wasn't always like that." Kai yelled back in anger. "He used to be a pretty clever guy... at least until that fifth mission."

It was silent again for about a minute after that as they kept driving. "What happened?"

"... Dirk led us on a mission to capture a high ranking Hyperion officer who had apparently attacked a kid for fun. We found the bastard hiding out in a Hyperion firebase with about four platoons worth of Hyperion soldiers and bots protecting him. We managed to take the base and capture the officer, however, we lost several fighters while Tobias was injured. He got thrown into a steel wall by a PWR Loader… headfirst." Kai said grimly, causing Axton to wince at the implication as not much else needed to be said to figure out what happened to the kid.

"How bad?"

"Tobias cracked his skull in several places and was given a case of brain damage plus amnesia. The doctors said they could repair a lot of the damage but we just didn't have the equipment to do it. As for the falling out… I took a bad shrapnel wound to the chest and had to be put in a medical coma for two weeks to heal. When I finally woke up, Dirk had already inserted himself as Tobias's best friend. I tried to get him to remember me but… at that point, the friend I knew was gone."

It was silent for a moment as the info sank in. "What about your other friend?" Axton asked.

"Nothing." Kai answered which confused Axton for several seconds. "No explanations, no witnesses, no body, no Jenny. All I was ever given was her name on an MIA list from an after action report and her recovered photon emitter unit which neither myself nor my mother, who built the thing mind you, could ever get working again."

"Damn, that heavy man."

"Yeah, it is. Which is why I'll be damn if I let that bastard and his bitch take another friend from me."

"Well, I'm game for some payback and hero work. By the way, how did you recover so quickly from the drunken blackout that bitch forced you into, I thought it took you half a day or something to come out of one of those?" Axton asked curiously.

"Simple, Kare-Kare's got piss poor taste for booze, and if it wasn't for my abysmal tolerance I doubt a toddler could even get drunk after only one bottle of that shit she thinks counts as alcohol." Kai said with a chuckle.

"HA! So the psycho bitch is also a cheap date, that's funny." Axton laughed as the road in front of them finally straightened out and Kai began powering up the remaining jet engines.

"Alright, let's see what this baby can do." Kai declared excitedly.

"You do know how to handle this thing… Right?" Axton asked nervously.

"Nope, I've never driven anything this fast before, so you better HANG ON!" Kai yelled as he hit the booster, snapping both Vault Hunters to the back of their seats as the Racer's speedometer jumped to nearly two hundred kilometers an hour.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!" Axton yelled as the wind buffeted his face.

"I KNOW! ISN'T IT AWESOME!" Kai screamed back as they raced towards the horizon.

X-X-X

The day had started out… odd for Gaige. Kare-Kare had woken her up early telling her that the raid was back on and they were moving out within the hour. When she asked what changed, Kare-Kare told her that Dirk was able to convince Kai that this mission was too important to the cause and that action needed to be taken. Kare-Kare also said that Kai had volunteered to go ahead and recon the lab. Although Gaige's gut and DT for that matter told her something was off Gaige ignored that and joined in with over six dozen raiders and the Alphas as they drove several hours to the lab.

By the time they arrived, it was mid-afternoon on a Pandoran day time cycle. The building they were facing was circular in design with four ramp-like struts surrounding it. There were dozens of large turrets that were visible on the building and even several Badass Loaders walking around outside on patrol. The place was a fortress and it visibly unnerved many of the Raiders. That was until Dirk gave a corny but rousing speech.

"People I know this looks grim, they have twice our guns and three times our numbers. But I believe in all of you. I believe you have the power, the drive, the spirit, the belief, and motivation to face this great challenge head on. Together we shall march upon that fortress, burn it to the ground and drag out that evil man who helped kill an entire planet, so that he may face justice! Today, we are great, you are great and with that greatness my friends we shall have our VICTORY!" Dirk yelled in front of all the troops.

"NOW ATTACK!" He yelled as everyone charged the front gate.

Once contact was made the battle quickly got bogged down as both sides traded shots for about twenty minutes, until one overly exuberant Raider took a Runner, slapped a bundle of explosives on it, and drove it into the front door. The guy jumped out before he hit the gate and successfully blew it open, but the Raider was quickly cut down by a sentry turret. With the main door blown open Dirk ordered everyone to give cover fire, while Gaige and the Alphas rushed into the lab.

It took the team of teens another twenty minutes of fighting to finally reach the center of the facility where Dr. Lobotomous lab was. The room was a massive circular area that was about 400 meters round and 300 meters tall with a massive glass skylight with dozens of walkways, heavy cranes and support gantries hanging off of the heavier support struts. The only issue was there was nobody there or anything else on the ground for that matter, no equipment, no personnel, nothing.

"Where the hell is everyone!" Kare-Kare screeched.

"Maybe Kai was right, maybe Dr. Lobotomous was never here." Gaige suggested.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Kare-Kare yelled, scaring the Mechromancer.

Gaige backed away from the cheerleader. "Woah, What your problem?"

"Don't question Dirk's wisdom, Dirk is always right!" Kare-Kare growled.

Dirk was ignoring both girls as he looked around the room as Ice walked over. "What the play boss, I need to know what tune we're gonna jam to." Ice asked.

Dirk pondered this for a moment till he walked forward several meters, where he pulled his sword out and pointed it into the air. "IN THE NAME OF THE CRIMSON RAIDERS AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS OF POLARIS I ORDER YOU SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD!"

" _Hold on!"_ Came a voice over a loudspeaker _. "I'm trying to get this properly. . . Got it! We're good sir!"_

" _Finally! Took you long enough!"_ Came a familiar voice that Gaige knew all too well.

"Oh great, it's _him_." Gaige muttered.

A large circular hovering platform descended from above. A set of hologram projectors activated as they formed the image of a laughing forty-meter tall Handsome Jack. " _That right morons, it's me, the smart, talented, well endowed, and very handsome Handsome Jack, here to welcome you all to your DOOM!"_ He said with an ominous voice at the end.

"JACK! YOU VILE FIEND! WE MEET AT LAST!" Dirk yelled with his sword pointed at the hologram.

" _Yes, we finally met... uggggh... Who the fuck are you? I see the Vault Hunters little redheaded mascot_."

"HEY! I'M NOT LITTLE!" Gaige yelled only to be ignored.

" _But where are the other Vault Hunters and the rebel Polarion piece of shit? And who the fuck are you kids?_ "

"My name is Dirk Hardpeck and I am-"

" _Woah Woah Woah, hold on_." Jack interrupted trying to hold back a laugh. " _Your name is Dirk Hardpeck?_ "

"Actually his name is Prince Dirk Hardpeck the Fifth of Zallerth!" Kare-Kare proudly stated.

Jack's hologram just stared for several seconds until he fell to the ground of the holo platform holding his gut laughing. " _Oh my god, that name is so bad! Your ancestors must have hated your great whatever father or been idiots to think that was a good name. Oh my gosh, that's just too funny! HA HA HA! And you call yourself a prince too! That so fucking adorable! HAHA!"_ Gaige looked over to Dirk who looked pissed along with Ice, while Kare-Kare had a murderous look in her eyes. This continued for several minutes until they could see the pain on Jack's face from all the laughing. _"Oh God, haha, it hurts. Okay, now run along kids, my fight with someone who actually knows how to fight and not a bunch of children playing soldier_."

"Who could possibly be a greater challenge than us? I mean we're too cooooOOOL to be passed up." Ice demanded with a slight sneer of jealousy.

" _Kai the Rebel, that bastard has been a thorn in my ass for months now."_

"WHAT!? What has that idiot done to garner the attention my Dirky poo deserves!?" Kare-Kare screeched to the ache of Gaige's eardrums.

" _What hasn't the prick done, Assassinations, sabotage, theft, not paying his parking tickets, the list goes on. I mean go ahead kill a few employees, I can replace them easily. Destroy a few hundred Loaders, who cares, I can build them faster than tin cans, but then he also wrecks a few of my big pet projects, and helped destroy several important facilities. I mean I get it, you're mad that I killed your planet. But the most egregious of his crimes is that he hacked and fucked with my cappuccino machine! NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY MORNING CUP OF SUNGARA PLATINUM ULTRA BLACK BREW FRAPPUCCINO AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"_ Jack took a large breath and muttered "breath and relax" several times. " _Sorry about that, I've been dealing with the fact I haven't had a good cup of coffee in several days so excuse me if I'm a little… tense. Now, where were we?_ "

"You were trying to figure out who they are." Gaige said as she pointed to the Alphas.

" _Right, thanks kid. Now again… who the fuck are you snot nosed wannabe punks?_ "

Dirk puffed his chest and took a step forward. "We are the best warriors Polaris has to offer! We are the tip of the sword, the light in the darkness, the knights of justice and righteousness. We are the ALPHAS!" Dirk cried as the team took their signature pose around Dirk. "And we are here to seek justice for the crimes you have committed against the people of both Polaris and Pandora!" He yelled, pointing his sword at the hologram.

For some reason, one half of Gaige's mind was telling her that the Alphas were being super cool at the moment. The other half however was telling her to feel really embarrassed for even knowing these teens and she didn't know why. Her pondering was quickly pushed aside when Jack started laughing again.

" _...You kids? HAHA! You don't look like Polaris rebels, let alone look like a threat, I mean look at you. A gallant knight, it's the 29th-century dingus, not the dark ages. Go back to playing Bunkers and Badasses if you want to be a knight!"_ He turned and pointed to Ice next. " _A hipster greaser who thinks he's the coolest thing since the Fonz. No one is cooler than the Fonz dick weed! I'm not even that cool and I'm the coolest thing since sliced bread! Next, we have the generic big dumb strong one who looks like he got a peanut for a brain and looks way too kind hearted to be fighting out in a warzone_."

"Actually he only like that because of the brain damage." Dirk said nonchalantly.

" _ **THAT EVEN WORSE**_ _!_ " Jack and Gaige both yelled in surprise. They both looked to one another for several seconds before ignoring the odd moment of agreement.

_"Whatever, and of course you idiots brought a cheerleader!... Granted, points for getting a cheerleader to join your little gang but those points are canceled out bringing a stereotype that is more useless than a toaster in a gunfight. Hell, I'd bet a hundred billion dollars that miss pom-poms can't even take a hit from a midget armed with a rusty spoon! You idiots are not-"_

"Ah-em" Everyone stopped and looked over to realize Jade was still standing there.

" _Oh great, you also have a wannabe ninja, how original. Like I haven't seen that a dozen times already… Points for staying inconspicuous though kid. But as I was saying you guys are no fighters, you're more like the cast to a bad Saturday morning cartoon."_ He said in a bored tone.

"Huh, Kai said the same thing." Gaige said.

" _Did he now? HA, that bandit lover has more brains than I thought if he saw that, and well as much as I hate the guy, he has proven himself to be a royal pain in the ass since he's got here. Hell, this place was supposed to be a trap to lure him and his mangy mutt in so that I could kill him and maybe a few of the other Vault Hunters, but I'll settle for five bargain bin rebels and his little girlfriend. It's better than nothing."_ He shrugged nonchalantly.

"THAT BASTARD IS NOTHING BUT A COWARD, HE TRIED TO STOP OUR RAID!" Kare-Kare screeched.

" _Oh, and what notable things have you done since getting to this planet? Because it looks like you guys have just been_ _ **playing**_ _soldier_!" Jack shot back.

"We've raided dozens of your supply convoys! CoooOOOOL!"

" _Kai and his buddies have done twice that. Multiple in one day in fact_."

"We've foiled several ambushes!" Kare-Kare yelled.

" _The guy pulled a prison escape! That beat a few ambushes_."

Gaige tunes herself out from the argument as she begins to think about what she has been observing. 'Are these guys really all that uptight about not getting recognized? I mean, isn't the point not to paint yourself as a target. Sure, Kai bragged from time to time, but he didn't make a spectacle about it every chance he got.' Then it also occurred to her. 'Wait, why would Kai suddenly change his mind about this mission so quickly? He was completely against the entire idea... Did… did he really agree to this, or did the Alphas lie about getting the go ahead for this mission? Would they really lie? That's just ridiculous right?... Just… maybe they did lie… but aren't they too cool to lie-'

Gaige's thought process was interrupted when Jack finally got fed up and threw his arms up in frustration. " _You know what, screw this! Doc it showtime!_ " The floor opened up as a fountain of steam fired up from the opening as something large rose up. " _I like to introduce all of you to Dr. Lobotomus's latest weapon creation, the HXR!_ "

The steam clears to reveal a massive… Robot leg. Not a pair, but a single giant Hyperion yellow robot leg with what looked like a crane cab attached to the pelvis joint at the top left. In the cab was a man with wild brown hair with a single streak of white, red-tinted goggles and a clean pressed lab coat, all just screaming I'm a mad scientist.

" _What the! Doc, where the hell is my giant robot!?_ " Jack screamed in anger.

"I told you it would take a week for each section, and I only just started last week, but worry not sir. This leg is more than enough to dispatch these delinquents." Dr. Lobotomous stated.

" _IT A FUCKING LEG LOBOTOMOUS! AS IN SINGULAR, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL CAN A SINGLE LEG_ -" Several compartments open up all over the Leg. A heavy Hyperion plasma cannon on the knee cap Digi-structured, two sets of laser turrets on either the thigh popped out, several RPG pods opened on the lower leg, and a large missile from its toe. Jack just stared at the weaponized robotic creation in front of him with dumbfounded awe. " _. . . Okay, I take back what I said."_

"Oh, crap baskets." Gaige said as the Leg started to hop forward while firing RPGs wildly causing the group to scatter. Gaige pulled out a corrosive Tediore shotgun and fired at the leg as it hoped after Ice. Dirk and Kare-Kare deployed their partners and began firing with their own weapons, while Tobias just started tossing explosive barrels while not moving much. As for Jade, Gaige didn't know, the ninja had just disappeared at some point. The only indication that he was still here was the occasional snap of a Maliwan sniper rifle. 'I've been here too long to identify a weapon just by its sound.' Gaige thought for a second.

Xarvasdys flew in and unleashed a blast of fire at the Leg, but the unit's shield shrugged it off like a mosquito bite. "How cute, you have a pet lizard. Oh, this gives me an idea for an experiment! Let see what happens when a lizard is hit with multiple high-intensity laser guns!" The laser turrets turned and each shot a focused beam at the dragon. Xarvasdys let out a roar of pain before turning away.

Seeing that Xarvasdys fire blast, let alone her shotgun, weren't working Gaige swapped to her recently acquired Commerce Beta SMG and started firing away at the Leg's shield. Maya had given her the SMG a week before but upon acquiring it Kai had nab it from her to her dismay. The next day he brought it back and found he had sup it up so that it was higher damage and could emit a large electric over-charged burst to every fifth round. This made it the perfect anti-shield weapon in her mind as she excitedly began spraying the monstrous leg with shock infused bullets. After about two minutes however and nearly a dozen magazines Gaige began to notice that the indicator on her ECHO showed no significant damage to the Leg shield. "Hey guys, we're not even putting a dent in this thing shield, let alone its armor." Gaige yelled over the fighting.

"That may be so but this monstrosity of science has to falter at some point. Dirk yelled as he threw a corrosive grenade. " Now, keep pressing the attack!" Dirk yelled as he started firing away with his Hammer Buster. The Leg fired a single laser beam at Dirk from one of the small turrets which were blocked by a barrier shield that Bear-Bear deployed in front of the teen knight. The barrier held for several seconds until it broke making Dirk roll out of the way.

"YOU TRIED TO HURT MY DIRKY KNIGHT! DIE! Kare-Kare yelled as she pulled out a Bandit Bombabarbardeer rocket launcher and started firing recklessly at the Leg. Several shells hit the Leg causing no damage but several more rockets missed and corkscrewed away. They began impacting the walls and ceiling causing part of them to start falling. One large beam fell just five meters behind Gaige, scaring the girl to near death.

"Kare-Kare! You're doing more damage to the building than the Leg, stop firing!" Gaige yelled in panic.

"Die Die! Die!" Kare-Kare screamed continuously, firing rockets with reckless abandon.

"Little girls shouldn't play with such toys." Dr. Lobotomous said as he aimed the plasma cannon at her. Before he fired a large ball of ice impacted the side of the Leg making the Doctor miss his shot and blew a portion of the floor up. Lobotomous turned in time to see Ice throw another large snowball at the leg. "WHY YOU LITTLE RUNT!" He yelled as he fired a set of RPG's at the hipster who immediately started running away while yelling "CooooOOOOL!"

" _That's it! Get him, turn that Fonz wanna be into a smear on the ground!_ " Jack hologram yelled.

As this was going on Gaige pulled out a Torgue rocket launcher she picked up from the armory the other day. She took aim and fired two rockets in quick succession which both impacted the back of the Leg. When the smoke cleared she saw that the rounds barely took off a point of the robot shields. "HAX! I call hax!" Gaige yelled in anger. Two of the laser turrets spun around and started firing bolts of energy at her, forcing her to run. "Kare-Kare! A little assistance here!" Gaige yelled.

"Sorry Gaige, I'm a little busy." The girl said flippantly as she dreamily watched Dirk as he blasted away with his Hammer Buster in one hand and a Dahl SMG in the other. "*Sigh* He's just so handsome and hunky." She swooned.

"DAMMIT KARE-KARE!" Gaige yelled as she kept running to dodge a barrage of RPGs.

"HA HA HA! Dance for me my little lab rats! DANCE!" The mad scientist yelled.

" _Hey Doc, up top._ " Jack yelled. The doctor turned in time to see Xarvasdys swoop in and unleash a torrent of flames from his mouth that formed a fire twister that engulfed the robot Leg. The Alphas all stopped firing and started cheering in celebration.

"Good work Xarvasdys." Dirk said as the massive dragon landed next to him. "Excellent job my friends. Another fine victory against the tyrannical rule of Handsome Jack." Dirk proclaimed, receiving another set of cheers from the three other Alphas.

" _You know, you must be really stupid._ " Jack said.

"Oh, and do tell why vile villain! We just defeated your scientist and his abominable machine." Dirk proudly proclaimed.

Jack just laughed which sent a spike of foreboding dread through Gaige's spine. "Do you really think a little fire is gonna destroy one of my company's _armored_ creations?"

Before Dirk or the other Alphas could retort a large plasma bolt shot out of the tornado and blasted straight through Xarvasdys's head causing the headless dragon hologram to fall over before dispersing. From the twister which was petering out, the Leg hopped out, undamaged from its time in the tornado. "I will admit, that was an impressive _looking_ attack, but honestly, that felt more like a warm mid-summer breeze than an attack. Now be good lab rats and DIE FOR SCIENCE!" Dr. Lobotomous yelled as he started pressing the attack again.

The fight quickly turned into a game of cat and mouse as Gaige and the Alphas kept trying to attack only to be forced back over and over again. Throughout the fight, Gaige repeatedly tried to get help from Kare-Kare when her shield was low or ask Ice to cover her while she tried to reload her rocket or other weapons, but they just seemed to ignore her. Tobias was somewhat helpful but ended up bringing more attention to them than intended. When she asked for an assist from Dirk he would just give some inspirational words, that while encouraging, did nothing to help her. It also didn't help that Jack hologram was acting as a second pair of eyes and calling out targets to the Doctor in the snarkiest way possible while insulting everyone.

After a particularly heavy assault from everyone, the Leg hopped back some distance from the group. "Alright you damn lab rats, have a dose of this! DOCTOR ORDERS!" Dr. Lobotomous yells as the heavy missile is fired from the foot and goes straight up into the air about a hundred meters before turning and landing straight down in the middle of the group causing a massive explosion. Everyone nearby was thrown away by the blast which left a strange sickly yellow cloud.

As Gaige picked herself up, her ECHO started screaming with a crackling noise that her scientific mind immediately identified. "Radiation! Everyone move!" Gaige yelled as the Alphas heeded her warning and moved away from the spreading cloud. While radiation weapons we're not unheard of on a large scale, small scale use had been starting to crop up more recently as high power, extremely low half-life materials were discovered. Luckily even if someone is hit by radiation all they need is a med-hypo to stop the poisoning and avoid prolonged contact which was also not much of a problem as the cloud quickly dissipated.

Gaige quickly joined back with the others behind a large slab of metal that had fallen earlier as the mad Doctor began pummeling the area with. "Well that was close, also, I don't know if you guys have noticed but we're all starting to run out of ammo. Plus there are no crates or anything to loot ammo from in here." Gaige said as she took a quick check of her gear. She had already depleted her rockets, which she didn't have much to begin with and none of her other guns were even making a dent in the things shield which kept recharging if no one shot at it for more than ten seconds.

"It is of no worry." Dirk said with confidence.

"Well, we're gonna need a plan if we are to take this thing out!" Gaige yelled as she resummoned DT for the third time already. He immediately flew out and started launching lightning bolts and drawing attention away from them.

"Don't worry yourself, young maiden!" Dirk said with a smile to which Gaige looked at him in confused silence. 'Maiden? I don't think I'm what someone would call a maiden.' Gaige thought as Dirk continued. "I have a plan, my dear friend, it's simple yet bold! If range attacks don't work, then we shall meet it head-on!" Dirk yelled as he drew his sword out and held it up. "AT POINT BLANK RANGE!"

"Uh, fighting close range against a _giant fucking leg_ seems like a very bad idea." Gaige said only to be ignored as Dirk walked out from the cover and raised his sword.

"Alphas! Gallant Alpha RUSH!" He bellowed.

"COOOOOL!" Ice yelled as he started skating off. "HEY OVER HERE YOU BIG SNOT NOSED NERD!" The greaser yelled getting the Doctor undivided attention. As the Doctor started trying to blast Ice, Tobias switched the barrels from explosive to slag and started lobbing them at the distracted robot, coating the lower foot in slag.

"All right! Ready? Okay! DIRK OUR MAN! RA RA RA! DIRK SO COOL! YEA YEA YEA! DIRK IS GONNA WIN IT ALL! GOOOOOO DIRK!" Kare-Kare cheered, causing an aura of red energy to envelope her pom-poms before the energy shot over and surrounded DIrk which all quickly congregated at his sword.

When the transfer of energy was complete Dirk charged forward towards the Leg with his sword held up and ready. Ice came around and blasted the ground in front of Dirk with his ice sprayers to make a path of smooth ice straight to the Leg which Dirk started to skate on to pick up more speed. "For the honor of my forefathers! GALLANT ALPHA RUSH!"

"What? OH SHIT!" Dr. Lobotomous screamed just as Dirk got to the leg, jumped into the air, and unleashed a mighty slash at it with the glowing sword at the Leg ankle. There was a thunderous clang of steel, and a second later Dirk landed on the ground several meters from the Leg where he stood up and turned his back to it.

"Victory for the honored!" He yelled striking a pose. . . Nobody moved for several seconds as Gaige looked around.

"Um, was something supposed to happen?"

Dirk looked confused as he turned back to the Leg. "I don't understand that was one of my strongest attacks! It has never failed me! You should have been swiftly defeated by that move!"

" _PFFT HAHAHA!"_ Jack started laughing as he had to hold his stomach _. "Holy nut sacks! I was just joking about the cartoon superhero bit. But Gallant Alpha Rush!? That is the corniness name for an attack I ever heard. Plus it just looked so stupid_."

"It wasn't that stupid." Gaige said, although her will in such belief was snacky.

"I will give you points kid. That attack did pierce the shield and damage the leg." Lobotomous said calmly as he looked over a screen in the cockpit.

" _WHAT!"_ Jack yelled in anger before turning to the scientist. " _I thought you said this thing was impenetrable!"_

"It will once the mech is complete, remember this leg has only _one_ of several shield generators, sir. Besides the only damage those idiots did is the robot equivalent of someone taking a set of keys and using them to scratch the paint job on the prick truck who keeps parking it your personal parking spot!"

Everyone just looked at the man in the Leg cockpit cab. ". . . _That's a little specific doc_." Jack pointed out.

"Just because Davidson works as head of marketing doesn't mean HE CAN TAKE MY SPOT!" Dr. Lobotomous screamed as he made the Leg start firing nearly all its weapons wildly, hitting the walls, floor, and ceiling. Wreckage started falling all-round as several of the gantry cranes on the ceiling were blown apart, forcing everyone to run for cover under a particularly large but sturdy support beam that fell earlier.

"I dare say, my friends, we seem to be in a spot of trouble. None of our gear seems to be having an effect." Dirk said.

"You could say that again, I'm nearly out of ammo here with the exception to my assault rifle and pistol ammo." Gaige said as Ice and Tobias nodded in agreement as they looked at their own reserves.

"I have something that may work, Dirky Luffagus!" Kare-Kare cooed as she activated the storage device in her purse. To Gaige's shock, she watched as Kare-Kare pulled out Kai's Clementine and presented it to Dirk. "Here you go! I hope you like it honey bun."

"I say Kare-Kare, this is a marvelous weapon! One fit for a worrier, of my caliber." Dirk beamed proudly, leaving the girl flustered.

"Only the best for you my strong Dirky Senpai." Kare-Kare nearly squealed in excitement at the praise as Gaige gawked in shock.

"The fuck! That Kai weapon! How did you get it!?" Gaige inquired forcefully.

"Oh, he let me have it to give to Dirk, for the good of the mission. His words were only Dirk could possibly handle such a weapon." Kare-Kare _innocently_ said with her sweet girl next door face.

For a split second the Mechromancer brain was about to accept that statement, no her brain was compelled to accept this reason as truth. Before her mind did accept it though a single memory to cut through that train of thought like a hot katana wielded by Zer0.

 _ **FLASHBACK**_ _**-**_ _ **Two weeks earlier**_

Kai and Gaige were taking practice shots at some Bullymongs atop of a cliff across a massive crevasse. The reason for this was to… try and improve Gaige's accuracy with ranged weapons. After the incident at Southpaw, everyone agreed that the girl needed training with a sniper rifle. Gaige was currently using a bi-pod Vladof sniper she had found several days before and was trying to miserable effect to hit a Bullymong who didn't even seem to notice it was being shot at.

"How the hell are you so at this bad when even your Anarchy is empty? Even when Scooter is drunk off his ass he can at least wing a skag from a 300 meters away, with a bandit rifle, but you can't even hit a creature that twice or thrice its size with a sniper rifle at half the range!" Kai said as he set down the spotter scope he was using.

SHUT UP! It's harder than it looks!" Gaige retorted with a pout as Kai pick up his Clementine.

"Not really." Kai retort as he looked down the iron sight of his Clementine. A second later he fired a single shot at the Bullymong she had been firing at and blew the creature's brains out.

Gaige looked between him and the rifle. "How the hell did you hit a Bullymong at that range without a scope?"

"Practice, lots of practice." He said cheerfully before firing another round which ripped apart a Monglet chest as it was in mid jump.

Gaige stared at him for several seconds as she shot him a scrutinizing glare. "Bullshit. It got to be the gun… Let me try it."

"No." Kai bluntly replied as he fired again and hit a Slinger through the heart, blowing said heart out of it back and onto the face of another Bullymong who began to panic before slipping on the blood of an earlier kill and sliding off the cliff to its doom.

"I bet you're just afraid that I'll be a better shot with it than you!" This got a chuckle out of Kai before he took another shot which brained two Adult Bullymong who were unlucky enough to be lined up.

"Firstly, it took me a whole year just to be able to handle this rifle, your little ass wouldn't be able to handle it. Second, you'd probably break something if you tried to shoot this weapon. Third, you haven't even managed to hit anything with any scoped sniper rifle yet so good luck eyeballing a target with an iron sight." That one got Gaige to pout. "And finally, old Wind Snapper entrusted me with this weapon. A weapon that he spent years crafting, one that he poured all of his heart, soul, and experience into. I respect that old grouch fair too much to let anyone, especially a gun-ho rookie with a pension for anarchist behavior use this weapon, which as I said before would probably knock you on your little ass at the very least." He fired again, this time he shot a Brat mong off the back of a badass Bullymong.

"Did you just insult and tease me?" Gaige said, slightly flustered.

He fired for a seventh time, blasting another adult mong arm off which caused it to lose its footing and fall off a cliff it was hanging on. "A little." Kai said with a cheeky grin.

"Screw you asshole." She pouted, getting Kai to laugh.

"The point is Gaige, the only way I would ever let someone even touch this weapon." He stated as he focuses on a Badass mong. "Is if they were to pry it from my cold dead hands."

* **BANG**!*

_**~Flashback over~** _

The light that Gaige had in her eyes for the Alpha's faded as she watched Dirk begin to load her best friend's most treasured possession. "No… You stole it… YOU STOLE KAI'S CLEMENTINE!" Gaige yelled in rage.

"What? I would never steal. Honest." Kare-Kare said with a smug smile on her face. "It was he who stole it. Back on Polaris, it was stated by Command that the Alphas had earned first picks on any weapons which that idiot or his creepy old mentor made. *Humpf* To think that coward would try and hide such a powerful weapon from my dear darling Dirky-Kun."

"So you did take it from him!" Gaige pointed.

"It wasn't his, to begin with, just like that Hammer Buster and Luck Cannon that me and Ice had to _take back_ from him." Once again shocking the Mechromancer only for her eyes to narrow in anger as she marched up to her.

Using her robot arm Gaige grabbed the cheerleader by her shirt and drew her close. "What did you do to Kai… Bitch."

The girl just laughed in Gaige's face with no regard to her safety. "That idiot, I knocked him out with a full flask of Vodka. He'll be out for the rest of the day until well after the victory party." She stated smugly. "Serves him right really. After all, all he does is try and drag Dirk's greatness through the mud by saying things like you're reckless, you're a menace, your plans will get our allies killed, you stole my guns or you killed my friends."

Gaige let go of Kare-Kare at this last statement and backed up from her with a look of shock. "What?... You. He. What?"

Kare-Kare let out another annoying laugh. "While the brain damage does limit Tobias some, he's just so much easier to manipulate, and that has made him an excellent emergency meat shield when things get hairy. As for that little thot friend of his, Jenny I think was her name, I took my chance and shot her in the back. I not only eliminated my competition for Dirk but she made a nice distraction to escape those Hyperion troops following me. I even threw a grenade in after me for good measure." Kare-Kare waved off.

"But.. why would you tell me this?" Gaige asked.

"Two reasons, first, Hyperion labs like this have all sorts of jammers and access codes to prevent any unauthorized personnel from using their respawn network." Gaige's eye's widened at the sudden implication that she was in mortal danger. "And secondly." Kare-Kare said, giving Gaige an evil smile. "Because you're not going to make it out of here alive! After all, the fewer females in our group means less competition for my Hunkey Little Dirkey Pie!" Kare-Kare gleefully cries out just as Gaige hears something behind her, she turns to see Bear-Bear about to bring a hard light clever down on her. Everything slowed down for Gaige as she tried to raise her robot arm to block, but she could see she wasn't gonna be fast enough. She watched in adrenaline-fuelled slow motion as the cackling teddy bear's blade came closer and closer to her face.

Just as the blade was about to strike her, a massive metal clawed hand grabbed the floating bear and pulled it back. Both Gaige and Kare-Kare watched in shock as DT held the struggling bear in his massive left claw. [Just what do you think you're doing to my maker... _plushie_?] DT warbled out to the Bear with newfound anger in his voice.

[UNHAND ME YOU PILE OF RUST! ONCE I'M DONE GUTTING YOUR PIECE OF SHIT MASTER I'M GONNA DISASSEMBLE YOUR CPU AND THROW YOUR BODY IN A CAR CRUSHER WITH A MILLION HIGH POWER MAGNETS! THEN DIP YOUR REMAINS IN A BARREL OF ACID!] Bear-Bear squeaked in rage.

The death bot glared at the struggling hologram. [Hati was right, you are just a piece of malware.] DT slowly began clenched his grip tighter around the bear causing it to screech in pain until it's hologram body shattered into a shower of sparkling pixels.

"BEAR-BEAR NOOOO!" Kare-Kare cried out in horror!

Before Kare-Kare could say another word Gaige took advantage of the distraction to spin around and decked the cheerleader in the face with her robot arm, knocking the girl down. "Eat that you fucking BITCH!"

Gaige looked to her partner and gave him a thumbs up which he returned, before turning and looking back to the battle. She quickly realized that the boys had all not noticed her and Kare-Kare's absence or their little _confrontation_. Tobias and Ice had been grabbing Dr. Lobomious attention with a multi-sided attack, while Dirk had been making hit and run attacks with his sword. Dirk jumped back and put away his sword. "It's time to end this farce, once and for all!" He pulls out the Clementine and shoulders it. "Now witness the true power of Polaris ingenuity!" He yells before pulling the trigger. The rifle lets out a loud crack as it's followed up by a yell of pain. The window on the cockpit Dr. Lobotomous had a large hole in the glass, showing that the bullet had gotten through but the round had missed the doctor's head by several millimeters to the left. The only damage Dr. Lobotomous had were a few glass shards in his cheek which he was picking out. Gaige then heard a scream of pain that brought her attention back to Dirk who was holding his right shoulder as he had dropped the rifle.

"What in the blue blazes of hell! How does Kai use such a weapon, it dislocated my shoulder, AAARGH,*POP* in one shot!" Dirk stated as he pushed his arm back into place. "This weapon is unfit for a warrior of my caliber!" He yelled before giving Clementine a rough kick and sending it flying. Gaige quickly ran out and caught the rifle. She gave it a quick look over and saw it was surprisingly fine. Dirk turned back to the Leg and pulled his sword again. "So be it, will do this the old fashion way. With an honorable swing of thy sword, I shall smite thee!"

Gaige just stood dumbfounded at what Dirk just said. "You literally tried that already… TWICE!"

Dirk however didn't seem to notice her words as the Knight rushed forward to strike the leg again. The Doctor who had been pulling glass out of his face saw this and turned the Leg to face the teen. "You know Jack, I was never picked for football during recess as a kid, even when the teams were uneven! Let's see if I have any game." Dr. Lobotomous cackled. The Leg starts to levitate thanks to a set of rockets near the top and pulls back for a kick. Just as Dirk got close enough Dr. Lobotomous swings the Leg and kicks Dirk right in the midsection, sending him flying into a pile of rubble over a hundred meters away.

" _Goal!_ " Jack hologram yells as he throws his arms up in a goal fashion.

"DIRK!" Ice, Tobias, and bloodied face Kare-Kare (who just got up) yelled in shock at the bleeding, unconscious, and possibly dead teen knight. "YOU HURT FRIEND!" Tobias yelled as he hefted and threw an explosive barrel, but it had barely made it a meter from him when a laser beam shot from one of the smaller turrets hit the barrel causing it to explode in the boy's face. Tobias was sent flying back into a support beam along the wall which shuddered and gave out causing a pile of metal and concrete to fall on him.

"So COOOOOOL!" Ice yelled as he skated forward-firing away with his pistols as Gaige yelled for him to stop. Ice raced around ducking and diving past RPG's and lasers before he jumped from a slab of a steel wall that had set up like a ramp and flew towards the cockpit firing away. But less than halfway to the plasma cannon turned and started firing rapid-fire bolts, hitting Ice's shield several times and collapsing it. One bolt tore into his left arm ripping it off, another tore through his chest, then finally one hit and melted through the left side of his face causing him to fall to the ground in a clump of burning flesh. "This… isn't… COOOOOOL!" He yells one final time before he expired.

"YOU BASTARD YOU HURT MY PRINCEY-POO!" Kare-Kare screeched as she charged at the Leg with her SMG firing away and a primed grenade in her left hand. As the leg begins to set itself for another kick.

" _Lobotomus lines up the shot, can he make it folks? Here the kick!"_ The leg flies forward and catches Kare-Kare on the top of the foot sending her flying over a pile of rubble which ironically had a pair of steel beams sticking out like a goal post. Kare-Kare flew between the posts and behind the pile. A second later, the grenade exploded as Gaige saw a ball of fire come out from behind the pile. _"And the kick is GOOOOD!"_ Jack yells.

Gaige looks around and suddenly realizes she and DT are the last ones standing (err, or floating). "Shit! . . It looks like it's down to you and me DT it down to you and me bud-" before she could finish DT eye started to flash as he gave a panicked warble before being forced to despawn leaving Gaige all alone. ". . . Oh no." Gaige slowly turned back to the leg which now stood facing her.

" _And then there was one."_ Jack said as the Doctor pointed the plasma cannon at her.

"I'm gonna erase you from existence, Vault Hunter! Right down to your atoms!" The doctor maniacally laughed as the cannon began to charge. Gaige looked down at the Clementine and realized that it was the only weapon she had ammo for or would be even remotely effective against the robot leg. She shoulders the gun and fired at the cockpit, only to discover the rifle had a brutal recoil causing her shot to go wide. "Fucking Megatron!" She yelled, rubbing her now bruised shoulder. "And to think Kai spams the trigger on this thing!"

She looked at the cannon which now had a plasma charge the size of a Goliath and was still growing. Gaige gritted her teeth and shouldered the rifle again and to much pain started firing again at anything. She kept firing and had several shots hit but they did no damage real to the Leg. She kept firing until a familiar but now soul-crushing *PING* was heard as the clip ejected signaling she was out of ammo.

She lets go with her right hand to try and reload only for it to immediately go limp from the numbness and pain now coursing through her arm. It dawns on Gaige that as of that moment, she couldn't possibly reload the weapon as it required two hands to effectively reload. She looked between the rifle and the now truck size ball of energy aimed at her. "This is it, Vault Hunter! WITNESS MY GENIUS! AH HA HA HA HAAA!" Dr. Lobotomous laughed maniacally.

Gaige looked around in a desperate attempt to find anything she could use for cover, to attack with, anything to stave off the impending attack. But there was nothing, her scientific mind told her; a blast from that cannon would surely cut through the building twice over before stopping. . . She was doomed. Gaige dropped to her knees as tears started to run down her cheeks. She gripped the Clementine close to her as she wept. "I'm sorry Kai… for not listening to you." Gaige whispered as Dr. Lobotomous went to pull the trigger.

 ***CRASH!*** "YUAAAAAAAAGH!"

X-X-X

-Bonus-

**Torgue Mini-Adventure**

**Chapter 5**

The Torgue-anought crew were currently on the most backward space station that Billy had ever seen. From the outside, it looked like a giant horseshoe. The whole inside of the station was more like a space colony that was decorated like an old western theme complete with large deserts, dirt roads, cactuses, random tumbleweeds rolling around, and actual horses that people used to move around the massive station.

Mr. Torgue, Billy, and Remmy were walking through what looked like a desert town which was ironically called Mad Town. "So why are we here?" Billy asked as they passed the fifth gunfight since arriving at the station twenty minutes before.

"We're here for this." Mr. Torgue said pointing to a sign outside of a large wood and brick building that read _Lucky Horse station's 40th annual EXTREME Unrestricted Truxican Wrestling Battle Royale, tonight. All challengers welcomed. Grand Prize 10,000,000 dollars, a 2 year supply of HeTap, and a Legendary weapon_. "I heard about it on the local ECHO broadcast this morning and I have been feeling cooped up on the ship lately so I figured it be a good way to stretch our f*cking legs and fists. Plus it's been years since I've been in an unrestricted Truxican Wrestling match, so this kills two birds with one bomb."

Billy and Remmy looked at one another before looking back. "Don't you mean two birds with one stone?"

"I know what f*cking I said." He replied as he turned and entered the building.

Billy turned to the small red Boar again. "Looks like it gonna be a crazy night Remmy."

"OINK!"

An hour later a small arena was filled up with people. Billy and Remmy were both seated in a spectators section designated for Team members.

An old man in a white suit and a massive ten-gallon hat that actually looked like it could hold that much liquid got up into the arena. "Ladies and gentlemen, as your host, and the owner of this station, Jeff Horsetrader welcome to the Lucky Horse station's 40th annual EXTREME Unrestricted Truxican Wrestling Battle Royale, sponsored by HeTap. We've got a huge turn out of competitors this year who hail from here and all over. All of whom are just itching to prove themselves as the best, so let's get started. Our first match is between Fatal Fury and Mister Torgue!"

Mr. Torgue entered the ring with a large shirtless man in a black and red luchador outfit with a spiky mohawk. Both of them got to opposite corners and prepared to fight. "Alright contender ready! FIGHT!" Fatal Fury charged at Mister Torgue to tackle him.

"What the hell!? TORGUE MOVE!" Billy yelled. But Mr. Torgue just crossed his arms as Fatal Fury tackled him… And tried to move him, lift him, throw him, but nothing worked as Torgue just stood there. After about three minutes Fatal Fury was panting for air in front of Mr. Torgue, who had not moved.

"You done?" Torgue asked. The luchador nodded. "Good. Now it's my turn." Mr. Torgue kicked the man in the gut, knocking him to the ground. He then jumped back onto one of the corner posts. "DIVE BOMB HAMMER!" Torque yelled as he dove on top of the man with both knees first, which was rewarded with a sickening crunch as the man's rib cage was crushed. The referee counted to ten and called Mr. Torgue the winner.

"That was brutal!" A man next to Billy yelled. "But he won't make it through the next round."

Billy looked at the man. "Wanna bet?"

-Que _Bad Reputation_ by _Joan Jett_ -

Torque's next opponent was a lanky man who he quickly grabbed and started spinning like a helicopter blade before throwing him clean out of the arena. Then the scene cut to a portly man in a pink and purple superhero costume, Mr. Torgue swung the man over his shoulder by his cap onto the ring over and over.

As the matches progressed Billy was booking more and more side bets from the crowd.

Torgue continued to win match after match while expertly displaying legendary wrestling moves invented in the golden ages of wrestling. Pile-drivers, Powerbombs, Backbreakers, the Boston Crab, chokeslams, Spine Stripper, the Crowbar Chop, The Eye Bolger, the Kidney Scoop, the Vasectomy Smash, and many more. His opponents never stood a chance.

 _-End music_ -

After 18 matches Mister Torgue had finally reached the final round. "Alright everybody! It's time for the Final round, form the A bracket! Mr. TORGUE!" Jeff Horsetrader yelled as Mr. Torque waved around at everyone. "And from the B bracket, THE LONESTAR SHARK!" The spotlight lit up the opposite corner to reveal a larger shark standing on its back fins with a bolo tie around its neck.

Billy and Remmy just stared in confusion. "What?"

Mr. Torgue stared at the shark in the opposite corner. "So, what has it been, fifteen years? It was at that tournament on Vegas 21." The shark let out a growl. "I still haven't forgiven you for what you did, I still get a f*cking after taste that annoys me from time to time thanks to you."

The shark just snarled.

"Maybe… But I guess we'll never know for sure… Chump." Mr. Torque said coldly as he took a fighting stance.

"Competitors ready?" Jeff Horsetrader asked. "Aaaaand… FIGHT!" For several seconds, neither fighter moved as they stared down each other. A cold aura of killer intent seemed to surround the shark, while an aura of explosive anger enveloped Mister Torgue. Then both fighters charged at each other, yelling/roaring at one other in rage as fists and teeth launched forward to destroy their target.

**x-x-x**

"I still can't believe you fought a damn shark sir." Billy said 30 minutes later as he counted the massive stack of cash he had in hand, while also noting to the weight of the new 88 Fragnum pistol strapped to his new gun belt. As the group walked through the town an automated hover wagon holding a two year supply of HeTap was following them as they headed back to their ship. Mr. Torgue had several bruises and bite marks covering his body, but still had a cheeky grin on his face as he shifted his shiny new champion belt on his waist. Mr. Torgue had won the match after having one of the craziest battles and had given him the pistol since he had several already. "What the story between you two anyway, you seemed to know about each other."

"Right well back when I was growing up on Hephaestus with my grandma there was a colony of Muta-Sharks. You ever hear of them."

"Hmm, I think one of my early roommates talked about them. They are a genetically augmented breed of sharks that were bred to have a higher amount of intelligence and gills that work in water and out of water through a combination of shark and human DNA splicing. They were created about three hundred years ago to deal with an invasive case of space squid on Rozonoe 8. After that thirty year war, a new war between the Muta-Sharks and the humans there over their rights. After several years of bloody fighting, a peace agreement was reached that granted the Muta-Sharks their rights since they are technically part human." Billy stated.

"That about right, anyways a small colony of them lived off of the coast of my home town on Hephaestus. That Shark was from there, and we've always had this sort of a rivalry between us, and being on the same high school wrestling team only f*cking furthered that. Of course, it escalated about twenty years ago after he gave me a bag of chips that tasted like sh*t taco marinade in a waste treatment plant for 5 years." Torque stated which caused both Billy and Remmy to grimace at the thought.

"You're in what could basically amount to a bitter rivalry because of a single bad bag of chips?" Billy asked arching one of his cartoonish eye brows.

"It left a taste in my mouth for months, plus it still comes back from time to time." Mr. Torque complained. "That guy claimed that those chips were a Muta-shark delicacy while I claim he was trying to kill me. We've had this continuous argument ever since." Mr. Torgue finished leaving his companions confused.

Billy shuke off the confusion after a few seconds. "I still can't believe you managed to suplexed a damn shark."

"HA, that nothing, you should have seen the time I Swanton Bombed a poison barbed Gorilla wearing a beer hat in a tournament on Hoton 3." Mr. Torque said excitedly leaving Billy dumbstruck.

"Wait, who was wearing the beer hat?" Billy asked.

"Well… Yes." Mr. Torgue answered as the group slowly walked off into the artificial sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rebel Anarchy Loot Guide
> 
> Name: Commerce Beta
> 
> Manufacturer: Hyperion
> 
> Weapon type: SMG
> 
> Weapon Grade: Unique/Very Rare
> 
> Flavor Text: I have a wolf, a killer robot, two pissed off teens, and an extra power core for once.
> 
> Description: A modified variant of the Commerce SMG that has been upgraded on the principle that, a gun with as shocking of a weapon skin as that should do something equally shocking, as stated by the one who upgraded the weapon. The weapon was given the ability to fire an overcharged round every fifth shot. This round will deal the normal amount of damage while also adding an equivalent extra 50% shock damage. This can be seen as every fifth round will have a blue vapor trail and the projectile tracer is brighter than normal. The drawback to this is that the weapon's reverse recoil takes longer to fully kick in, leading to several more than normal stray shots.
> 
> Stats:
> 
> Damage: 5393
> 
> Accuracy: 94.2
> 
> Fire Rate: 8.4
> 
> Reload Speed: 2.3
> 
> Magazine Size: 35
> 
> Electrocute Dmg/Sec: 3887
> 
> Chance to shock: 12.3%
> 
> Bonus: 50% shock Damage increased for every fifth bullet.


	17. New Enemies part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for a new Loot Guide.

_-Last time on_ **_Rebel Anarchy-_**

_"This is it, Vault Hunter! WITNESS MY GENIUS! AH HA HA HA HAAA!" Dr. Lobotomous laughed maniacally._

_Gaige looked around in a desperate attempt to find anything she could use for cover, to attack with, anything to stave off the attack. But there was nothing, her scientific mind told her; a blast from that cannon would surely cut through the building twice over before stopping. . . She was doomed. Gaige dropped to her knees as tears started to run down her cheeks. She gripped the Clementine close to her as she wept. "I'm sorry Kai… for not listening to you." Gaige whispered as Dr. Lobotomous went to pull the trigger._

**_*CRASH!*_** _"YUAAAAAAAAGH!"_

_-And now the continuation-_

**_SEVERAL MINUTES BEFORE_ **

Outside the lab, the remaining Raiders, of which only counted at about forty of seventy, were fighting for their lives. Three fully armored Raiders of various colors were ducked down in a blast crater, just trying to service.

"Sarge, what's the plan? We're getting our asses fisted out here!" Yelled a cobalt blue armored Private with a Dahl sniper rifle to another Raider in standard red armor, armed with a Jakobs shotgun.

"Uhhh, I don't know!" The red Raider said.

"Well, what did Dirk tell you to do?" Another Raider in the seafoam, teal, Aqua… whatever color it is armor yelled over the gunfire.

"HE DIDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING!" The red one yelled.

"WHAT!?" Both privates yelled in horror. "Are you fucking telling me Dirk had no other plans other than to get his team into the building!" The light blue one yelled.

The Sergeant looked between the two of them for several seconds. "...Yes."

"OH, THAT JUST FUCKING GREAT! I TOLD YOU GUYS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED TO THOSE KIDS!" The light blue one yelled throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Why the fuck are we here again anyway, shouldn't you have brought Grif and Simmons here instead of us Sarge?" The aqua one asked the red Sargent.

"I wanted to, but Roland ordered me to take you two so that I can _learn to work with my former enemies_... Also because he didn't want me in a situation where I could _accidentally_ get Grif killed." The red Sargent muttered.

"... Well, that makes perfect sense." The aqua one said sarcastically. There was a loud crash in front of their cover and they all turned to find a Badass Loader aimed at them with its dual auto-cannons. "Welp, this is it. Church, Sarge, it was nice knowing you assholes." The aqua colored Raider said.

"The feeling is mutual, you damn dirty Blues." Sarge replied begrudgingly.

"Sarge, Tucker, I just want to go on record and say that I fucking hate the both of you. Not as much a Caboose, but nearly as much." The one named Church said as he stared at the Loaders guns.

Just as the Loader was about to fire it froze for several seconds and then began to look around as if searching for something. The Raiders were confused about this until they heard what sounded like trumpets going off behind them. The three Raiders plus everyone else on the battlefield, be it Raider or Hyperion, paused and looked back to the source of the music to see a dust cloud coming as a heavy rap beat began to play.

"What. The. Fuck. Is that?" Church asked.

**_-(Jump Around)_ ** **-**

**-** **(By** **_House of Pain_ ** ** )- **

A modified silver Runner with Kai and Axton was racing towards the building at high speed. As they got closer Kai opened fire with the dual machine guns on the front of the cockpit as Axton unleashed the Mini-sniper as he dubbed it.

_Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin_

_I came to win, battle me that's a sin_

The Hyperion troops and Loaders all began to fire at the Racer but were finding it difficult to hit them or were themselves being quickly chewed up by heavy gunfire.

_I won't ever slack up, punk you better back up_

_Try and play the role and yo the whole crew'll act up_

The Racer hit a bump and flew over the three Raiders foxhole, running the Badass Loader over and destroying it in the process thanks to the armored ram bar on the Racer.

_Get up, stand up (c'mon!) see'mon throw your hands up_

As they drove forward Kai and Axton both threw out their gear. Axton's turret opened up with rockets on several enemies causing more confusion, while Hati rushed out and started mauling the nearest Hyperion soldier, while the Vault Hunters drove around hitting several more targets.

_If you've got the feeling, jump across the ceiling_

_Muggs lifts a funk flow, someone's talking junk_

_"_ Holy shit this is awesome!" Tucker yelled as the Raiders watched.

_Yo I bust him in the eye, and then I'll take the punk's hoe_

The Vault Hunters drive back to the Raiders and they slide to a stop. "Where are the Alphas?" Kai demands.

_Feelin', funkin', amps in the trunk and I got more rhymes_

"They went in twenty minutes ago but we're getting hammered out here." Sarge replies.

_Than there's cops at a Dunkin' Donuts shop_

"More like abandon us if you ask me." Church cut in.

_Sho' nuff, I got props_

_From the kids on the hill plus my mom and my pops_

Kai looks at the building for a second and turns back to Axton. "Ax I'm going in, take command here."

_I came to get down, I came to get down_

Axton jumps out of the racer and turns to Kai. "Bring her back."

_So get out your seat and jump around!_

Kai nods and guns the Racer's engine.

_Jump around!_

Kai rides up near Hati and whistles, and the holo wolf turns and runs back.

_Jump around!_

_Jump around!_

Hati jumps and despawns, landing his photon sphere in Kai's hand before taking off again.

_Jump up, jump up and get down!_

Kai sped off towards the ramped siding closest to him.

_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! (Everybody jump)_

Back with Axton. "I want rockets on those turrets." Sarge snapped a salute and turned to the other Raiders and quickly barked orders.

_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!_

_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! (Everybody jump)_

As Kai was nearing the ramp several large Hyperion turrets open fire on the Racer.

_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!_

_Jump!_

Back by Axton, a dozen Raiders took aim and fired their rockets at their targets.

_I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe_

Kai hit the ramped face and starts racing up with a cluster of rockets hot on his tail.

_If your girl steps up, I'm smacking the hoe_

Kai started making light shifts in directions to both dodge the cannon fire and rockets racing from behind him.

_Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs_

The rockets start hitting and destroying turret after turret til only one directly in Kai path remained.

_I got more rhymes than the Bible's got Psalms_

Kai was less than ten meters from the turret when a late fired rocket streaked by and exploded on the turret, covering the area in smoke.

_And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned_

Kai Racer burst through the smoke and continued to boost towards the top.

_Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned_

Several Hyperion snipers on the roof started to fire at him in panic at the charging Rebel.

_'Cause I got lyrics, but you ain't got none_

The bullets hit wide and bounced off different parts of the car but missed Kai as he rotated the turret forward.

_If you come to battle bring a shotgun!_

The racer's turret lets out a *BRRRRRRT* as it fires on the snipers.

_But if you do you're a fool, 'cause I duel, to the death_

Three of the snipers are obliterated while the fourth is winged in the leg and falls over.

_Trying to step to me, you'll take your last breath_

The wounded sniper screams as Kai's Racer runs him over before launching over the rim of the top of the building.

_I got the skills, come get your fill_

_'Cause when I shoot the gift, I shoot to kill_

Kai lands on the roof which turns out to have a massive reinforced glass roof in the center.

_I came to get down, I came to get down_

Kai stops and looks over the side through the glass. Where he sees the Alphas getting their collective asses kicked… by a giant robot leg...

_So get out your seat and jump around!_

As the song Hati demanded that they play for the fight, kept pounding away Kai set the Racer's Turret to fire at its max gun depression at the roof, the turret started moving counterclockwise while firing. Kai looks over again and sees Kare-Kare get kicked across the room and explodes, leaving Gaige all alone with DT. Kai checked back and saw the Racer turret had shot about three-fourths of the way around.

He looked back and saw that DT was gone, Gaige was trying to engage the Leg with his Clementine but wasn't having any luck. He sees that she seemed to run out of ammo but couldn't reload, Kai knew from experience that she probably injured her shoulder. The turret finally completed its rotation creating a circle of bullet holes all around the Racer, but the glass was still holding.

"Dammit! Give already." He yelled as he bounced in his seat, the force of which caused a large crack to splinter across the glass from the car.

_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!_

"JUST! FUCKING! BREAK! ALREADY! He yelled as the glass and frame weaken with each bounce.

_Jump!_

*CRASH!* "YUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Kai yells as the roof breaks in a shower of glass and steel.

" _WHAT!?"_ Handsome Jack yells as he looks up in shock.

_I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top_

Kai's Racer drop through Handsome Jack hologram lands on the floating holoprojector causing the projector and its levitation drive to fail and fall about a hundred meters till it became ensnared in a cluster of hanging cables.

_I never eat a pig, 'cause a pig is a cop_

Using the platform as a ramp Kai boost straight off at the Leg which was trying to turn with the still charged plasma cannon.

_Or better yet a Terminator, like Arnold Schwarzanegger_

The Racer barrels right into the side of the Leg causing it to fall over and fire the ball of plasma at a wall.

_Try to play me out like, as if my name was Sega_

Outside of the building, a massive fireball exploded out of the side shocking all the Raiders.

_But I ain't going out like no punk bitch_

The Leg crashes as Kai racer lands upright.

_Get used to one style and yo and I might switch_

While the Leg is down several of its turrets start to automatically fire at Kai.

_It up up and around, then buck buck you down_

Kai backed up and spun around, driving as far from the Leg as he can _._

_Put out your head and then you wake up in the Dawn of the Dead_

He set the turret to auto-lock onto the string up Holo platform as he drove around the damaged arena as the Leg continued to fire at him.

_I'm coming to get ya, I'm coming to get ya_

_Spitting out lyrics, homie I'll wet ya_

Several cables were shot out and cut by the Racer's turret causing the platform to fall again.

_I came to get down, I came to get down_

_"_ What? OH MY NEWTONS!" Dr. Lobotomious screams just before the platform falls on top of the Leg in a thunderous crash.

_So get out your seat and jump around!_

Kai drove up to Gaige who hadn't moved from her spot.

_Jump around!_

_Jump around!_

"Hati, can you kill the music please." Kai asked.

 _"Jump arou-" *_ **Click** *

"Thank you"

Kai hopped out of the Racer and walked over to Gaige who had gotten back up. He stopped several steps from her with a big grin on his face. ". . . Weeeeell?"

Gaige glared at him with an annoyed pout as she stared at him with a tear-stained face. "Really, you're gonna make me say it?"

"Well this is how the shtick goes, plus it ties up the life lesson in a nice little package to store away in your mind for next time it comes back to haunt you."

"Fuck. You." Gaige muttered.

"Not what I was looking for, wanna try that again little miss I'm an Alpha now." Kai said with an even bigger grin.

She stared at her friend for several seconds while he just kept staring back with a teasing look. Finally, she huffed in indignation. "Fine! You. Were. Right! The Alphas suck, and they're a bunch of idiots, fools, and backstabbing fucktards who are all pomp and no substance that should never be trusted. Especially Dirk. He's the biggest fool of them all. There, are you happy now!?" She yelled, before wincing and grabbing her throbbing arm.

"Ecstatic." Kai said with a shit eating grin before getting serious again as he looked down at Gaige's limp right arm that she was cradling, and the massive bruise forming on her shoulder. "How's the arm?" He asked with sincere concern.

"I-I think it dislocated. Feels like I got kicked by a horse a dozen times over." Gaige said with a wince as the pain became her newfound focus to her displeasure.

"Yeah… Sorry to tell you this, but it's about to hurt a whole lot more." Kai said before suddenly grabbing the Mechromancer's right arm.

"W-wait! What are you?" Before Gaige could finish Kai twisted her arm up and out before pushing in. * **CRACK**!* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

A few minutes later Gaige was sitting on the ground pouting with anime tears rolling down her face. "Why didn't you warn me?" Gaige asked as she cradled her fixed but still sore arm.

"Because if I warned you in advance, it would have hurt even more you little cry baby." Kai said as he was pulling out some medical supplies.

Gaige's pout only grew at the jab. "Meany." She muttered, before looking at Kai's rifle."How the hell have you not broken your arm with this thing?" She asked as she picked up Clementine in her left hand and held it out to Kai.

"Never said I haven't." Kai said with a chuckle as he accepted his weapon back giving it a quick check. "I've busted, fractured, and dislocated my shoulder well over a dozen times in the first six months after I got this rifle." He continued as he put the rifle on his back and then fished out an insta-heath injector. "I had to build up my body's tolerance in order to handle it." He stabs the injector into Gaige's shoulder which she gave a painful wince at. "Took me nearly a year and a half, eighteen fractures, five dislocations, a full break, two very painful calcium density injections, and months worth of sore muscles to finally be able to shoulder, and repeatedly fire full clips from that weapon." He said with a happy grin.

Gaige just gawked at him in shock. "Th- Thats insane!"

"Yeah… But you can't argue with the end results." He waited several more seconds until the content of the injector emptied before pulling it out of her shoulder. "There, that will heal the damage but I'd suggest keeping it in a sling for a day or two." He said as he tossed the empty injector and began making a rough sling out of some gauze he pulled from a leg pocket.

Gaige was silent as Kai wrapped her arm up. She shot him a hesitant glance at him and let out a small sigh. "Kai I… I'm sorry." Kai paused and looked up at her while Gaige was trying to look anywhere but at Kai. "I… I screwed up and should have listened to you from the start, but… I honestly don't know what came over me. My head told me it was right but my gut told me otherwise, but what I should have done was listen to you." She said wistfully. She slowly looked to Kai with fear in her eyes. "W-We're still friends… right?"

Kai just stared at her for several seconds without any kind of expression. For some reason, that silence hurt worse then the shoulder did. Did he hate her, would he care about her after turning her back on him? Gaige was starting to get nervous when a small smile crossed Kai's face. "Of course we are. After all." He tightened the last knot on the sling and stood up back. "Friends look out for each through the good, the bad, and the stupid." He said as he held out a hand to help her up.

Gaige just looked at his face and then to his hand for several seconds before looking back and snorting out a laugh. "Murphy, did you have to make that sound so corny." She laughed as she took his hand and got pulled up.

"OI! I was trying to be-" but he was cut off by a rumbling sound. They both looked to see the Holo platform floating up, only now the leg was hanging to the bottom of it by an amalgamation of parts and cables. The projector on top came to life and the screaming head Dr. Lobotomous appeared.

"AAAAAARH, YOU- YOU BASTARD! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DONE! I AM NOW FUSSED TO THIS MACHINE! . . . I gonna **_KILL YOU!_** " He yelled in a distorted scream.

"Hey, do you mind asshole, we were having a nice moment here, a little heart to heart and now you're gone and ruined it." Kai said nonchalantly before turning back to Gaige. "Some people just have no courtesy anymore, am I right."

" ** _DIE!_** " The Doctor yelled as the Leg drone for a lack of a better name, opened its RPG pods and fired out over a dozen RPGs all around. Kai grabbed Gaige and ducked behind the Racer as RPGs started exploding all around the arena.

"Well, he seems pissed." Kai said in a nonchalant tone as he pulled out the Clementine and a fresh clip.

"You don't say… Why are you so calm anyway?" Gaige asked. "You just told a giant cyborg robot leg to basically fuck off as if it was an everyday thing."

Kai looked at Gaige with a grin. "Easy, I got my friend back, I watched Dirk get kicked like a football, got to nearly break the sound barrier in a pimped out race car, I get to now fight and kill one of the Hyperion stooges who helped kill my planet, and finally I got my gun back." He stated as he inserted the clip and the gun receiver locked back with a satisfying click. "So yeah, I'm pretty calm right now."

"So what now?" Gaige asked curiously.

"You are gonna take cover." Gaige was about to say something when Kai held a finger up. "And before you say anything, you're no good out there with that arm." He paused for a moment and looked at her other arm. "Is DT still available?"

"Yeah, he just finished his cooldown. Why?" Gaige asked.

"Go ahead and deploy him, I'll need the assistance." Kai said before jumping up suddenly sprinted out from behind the Racer and threw Hati photon sphere out. The hard light wolf burst out in a flash of light with an angry howl. "Hati plan Delta Two, tell DT what to do!"

Hati barked and ran the opposite way. Gaige at the same time deployed DT and told him to go with Hati which he quickly did. [Hati, what's the plan?] DT asked as he approached the wolf.

[We need to distract that thing from Kai and Gaige while doing as much damage to its shield as fast as possible. Kai will need the time to find what the best spot he needs to attack.] Hati barked, receiving a node from the death machine.

With that the two began attacking, DT hit high with his lightning eye, while Hati started firing Möjnir's below the knee. While it wasn't much, the combined shock attacks were far more effective than anything done to the Leg shield yet. " ** _YOU INSUFFERABLE RATS! TAKE THIS!_** " The doctor yelled as he tried to crush Hati by stomping the foot. The attack missed but caused a shockwave that knocked Hati back a few meters. Dr. Lobotomous then took aim with the plasma cannon but before he could fire DT flew forward and tackled the cannon causing it to miss fire. Taking the opportunity, DT stabbed his digistruct claws into the turret causing it to billow smoke and short out.

" ** _AAAAAUGH! STOP THAT, I CAN FEEL THAT!_** " The cannon is suddenly ejected as a new standard Hyperion turret digistructs to take its place. The new cannon turned and began to fire small but multiple plasma bolts which DT rapidly started trying to dodge.

Kai got around the Leg and looked it over until he found what he was looking for, a shield emitter on the back of the upper thigh. He waited for DT and Hati to distract Lobotomous long enough to get a clear shot. The flying leg finally turned and stayed still long enough for Kai to aim at. Taking the chance he fired the whole clip off. The first two shots hit but got soaked up by the shield, but the third, fifth, and sixth and eighth managed to bypass the shield and penetrate the emitter causing it to spark. The Leg's shield flickered several times before the emitter exploded causing the shield to drop.

" ** _WHAT!? MY SHIELD! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, MY CREATION'S SHIELD IS IMPREGNABLE!_** "

"Alright boys, have at him." Kai yelled to the two non-organic teammates. DT boosted up as high as he could and slashed at the laser turrets on the left side taking two of the three out. Hati fired Mjölnir after Mjölnir shot. One ball of energy went a little wide and shot through the hologram of Lobotomious's right eye socket which was rewarded with a shriek of pain as a pixelated hole was left through his skull.

" ** _OH SCIENCE IT BURNS! HOW AM I FEELING THIS PAIN, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!_** " Lobotomious looks over at the wolf and growls in anger. " ** _I'M GONNA PUT YOU DOWN!_** " The doctor launches the Leg forward and kicks at the rubble pile Hati was standing on. The surprised wolf tries to jump away but is caught by some scrap metal that is sent flying by the kick. Hati lands hard on the ground thirty meters in front of Gaige's cover where she watches as the wolf slowly tries to get back up. He is distracted though as a shadow comes over him, Hati looks up to see the Leg's foot looming over him. Before the foot came down a rocket flew out of nowhere and struck one of the open RPG pods causing the right side of the to be ripped open as it set off several small chain explosions. The force of said explosions knocked it off course causing the Leg to miss Hati.

Gaige looks to where the rocket came from to see Kai holding a Tediore rocket launcher. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TOUCH MY BUDDY!" Kai yelled as he fired several more rockets at the Holo platform bottom. One round hit one of the repulsor jets causing the whole robot to list to the right.

" ** _NO! NO! NO! STAY UP! STAY UP!_** " The Doctor yelled as the massive machine struggled to stay up. " ** _EAT THIS!_** " The Leg fired the toe missile out towards Kai.

"KAI! THAT A MICRO NUKE!" Gaige yelled. Kai's eyes widen in surprise as he realizes he can't run from the rocket, before he has time to think of anything else a bolt of electricity shots over his head, striking the missile causing it to detonate in midair. The shockwave sends Kai flying back where he's caught in DT's waiting arms.

"Thanks DT." Kai said as DT lets go of him. He looked over to see Hati firing another Mjölnir's again before having to dodged several shots from the Leg's plasma cannon. "Even with the shield down, this thing is like a tank." He looked to the partially crushed cockpit that held Dr. Lobotomious's real body. The entire was protected by a bubble shield around it. "His brain must be still controlling the whole thing. We need to destroy what's left of his real body if we're to stop this thing."

DT tap Kai on the shoulder and pointed to the Rocket launcher in hand and then to the top of the Holo platform. It took a second for Kai to get what he was getting at, upon which he grinned at the robot. "Fuck man, you definitely are Gaige's creation."

" ** _WHY WON'T YOU FORMICIDAE JUST DIE UNDER THE WEIGHT OF MY INTELLIGENCE ALREADY!_** " Lobotomous yelled in rage as Hati kept taunting him.

"Hey Lobotomous!"

" ** _WHAT IN THE NAME OF MY TEN PHD'S DO YOU WAN- WHAT THE!?"_** He yelled in shock.

**-(Elton John's: Rocket man)-**

_"Rocket maaaaan~ burning out his fuse up here alone~"_

DT was flying up at the top of the platform as he held onto the body of a Tediore rocket launcher Kai had thrown. When he got over the top DT let go and fell on top of the platform by the Doctor hologram head. " ** _NO! GET AWAY!"_** Lobotomous screamed in panic as he tried to shake the robot off to no avail.

"DT!" The robot looked down at Gaige who was yelled up to the bot. "Active Robot Rampage!"

DT's eye started to glow brighter as his claws changed from blue to a burning orange. He gave a bellowing electronic war cry before plunging both claws into the platform as if it was tinfoil.

" ** _OH SWEET NEWTON IT BURNS!_** " The doctor yelled as DT kept clawing through the inners of the platform for several seconds. Then DT stopped and stretched his arms out to either side before he started spinning like a top. The sound of wrenching metal could be heard as DT's spinning claws ripped through the metal, tubes, and cables like a buzz saw. DT must have finally hit something important as black smoke blasted out causing the shield around the cockpit to fade. This gave Kai and Hati their opening as Kai hefted up and aimed the respawned rocket launcher as Hati had a charged Mjölnir locked and ready.

"EAT A DICK BRAINIAC!" Kai yelled before the two partners both fired at the cockpit. The rocket and Mjölnir hit at the same time causing an explosion that ripped part of the upper thigh. The one-eyed hologram of the doctor's head screamed scientific facts out incomprehensibly as the hologram destabilized. " ** _ARRGH, SQUARE ROOT DIVIDED BY PIIIIIIEEEEEEEAAAH! GRAVITY DISPLACEMENT SUBTRACTED BYYYAAAAAAAGH! THE KEY COMPOUND TO PRODUCE GOLD IS QUADROQUODIIIIIIEEAAAAAAAH!_** "

The hologram burst in a fountain of lights as the bottom of the platform exploded blasting the platform half into a set of cables where it got snared, as the rest of the leg fell over and promptly exploded.

Kai and Hati observed the burning hulk of the Leg as DT floated down next to them. "Nice work DT." Kai said, giving the robot a fist bump which it returned.

"KAI!"

Kai turned to see Gaige rushing over to him. "Holy Murphy! That was fucking awesome! And DT you were a beast! Good job boy." DT gave a thumbs up with her robot arm, which DT mimicked in return before he despawned as Hati shrank down to his none combat size.

Kai was about to say something when he heard a laugh. The both looked to find a roughed up and limping Dirk hubbleling over near them. "What a grand show of teamwork my friends, we sure showed Hyperion the strength of the Alphas!"

Gaige and Kai both stood there in wide-eye shock. "Okay, A, how the fuck are you alive, I saw you get nailed like a damn football!?" Kai yelled.

"And B, what teamwork?' Gaige chipped in. "All you did was charge blindly in and try to stab it with your sword! REPEATEDLY! Kai did most of the work with DT's help." Gaige said accusingly.

"Grrrr" Hati growled.

Gaige blushed in embarrassment. "Oh, sorry boy, can't forget your contribution."

Dirk threw his head back and laughed. "That my friends is a tale for another day." Dirk bosted as if he didn't hear Gaige's earlier question. "As for now we must rebuild and fight on. For it is what we, as the survivors of Polaris must do! For it's our task to honor our fallen-"

The Vault Hunter pair watch as Drik just rambled on for a minute into a convoluted speech of honor, justice, and friendship, repeating some of his points several times. Gaige just shook her head. "I honestly don't know why I listened to this guy. It's like listening to a used starship salesman trying to sell someone a _used_ garbage scowl." Gaige said in a bored tone.

"What did you see in him and the others?" Kai asked.

"Truthfully, I don't fucking know. I guess if I had to say it was he just… Seemed cool." She said in an unsure tone.

"Seemed cool?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at the teen. "Tell me you're not about to say he is also handsome, appealing, sexy- OOF!" Kai grunted as Gaige elbowed him in the side with her robot arm.

"Nothing like that!" Gaige said, with an embarrassed blush at the implication. "Murphy, he's not even my type."

"You have a type?" Kai teased.

"I swear, I will deck you with this robot arm." She threatened with a raised fist, as Kai just raised a hand in surrender.

"But seriously, coolness can't be your only answer? That just sounds too-"

"Convoluted?" Gaige guessed.

"I was gonna say ridiculous, but that works." Kai smirked.

Gaige just shrugged. "I-I don't know how to explain it, I guess I just felt… compelled? It was almost like I had to listen to him, follow him, praise his coolness, like." Gaige said, with a sense of uneasiness.

"Like some was controlling you." Kai finished.

"Exactly." Gaige's face suddenly morphed into one of confusion. "Wait, how did you know?"

"It was the same feeling I had after I recovered from my injuries from my last run with the Alphas." Kai said grimly.

"Injuries?"

"I'll tell you about it later." Kai said as he waved off the question as they looked back to Dirk.

"And as my father said, we must uphold the honor of the weak just as we uphold our own honor." Dirk rambled unaware of the Vault Hunter's own conversation.

"Murphy damn, is he gonna ever shut up?" Gaige asked as they watched. "I mean, how long could he keep this speech up?"

"I believe his record is over 3 hours."

"Damn… I'm surprised you haven't told him to just shut up." Gaige said in surprise.

"Actually I'm contemplating on whether to shoot him or not." Kai replied.

"So now we will take this win and continue on as we bravely, gallantly, and heroically take the fight to Handsome Jack, no longer will we-" Dirk continued ignorantly.

"I'm really~ considering it." Kai muttered with a slight twitch in his eye as Gaige merely chuckled at the idea.

Before Gaige could put her own suggestion in they both heard a loud *twang*. They each looked up to the source of the sound and realized that the cables holding up the upper half of the Holo platform were starting to give, and it was right over Dirk.

"Um, Dirk?" Gaige tried to speak up.

"By the grace of our forefathers, we shall take our victory and charge headlong into the unknown, across land, sea, and eventually to the stars where we will face Hyperion once and for all!"

"Dirk."

"And once we have defeated Hyperion, we shall tear down the rules of the old world order and build a new prosperous utopia that will span the stars!"

"Dirk!"

"And I will take on this responsibility and dedicate my remaining existence to seeing this dream come true or my name isn't Prince D-"

"DIRK!" Gaige yelled, finally getting the knight's attention, but it was too late.

The cables finally gave out causing the platform to fall with a thunderous crash on top of Dirk, sending up a massive cloud of dust and smoke. Kai had grabbed Gaige and shielded her with his body from any debris which had been sent flying about; they were both luckily unscathed. After the dust finally settled the two teens both looked to the spot where Dirk had been, the circular platform had buried itself sideways into the floor, where it had crushed Dirk's pelvis. Kai and Gaige ran over and we're surprised to see that the knight was still alive… for the moment.

The Vault Hunters walked over to the groaning prince who was awake. "I say *cough* it seems I have gotten myself into a precarious situation. Kai my friend, it appears I am in need of your assistance." Dirk said weakly while still trying to sound confident.

Kai just stared at him for several seconds before he crouched down near Dirk. "Dirk, firstly, we're not friends. Never have been, never will be. Second… you're Jack shit out of luck, you're not escaping this… you damn bastard." He said coldly to Dirk who's eyes widened in shock.

Cough* "I say Kai! Why are you suddenly being so mean to me?" Dirk asked.

Kai stood up as he stared down into Dirk's eyes. "Simple, I don't like you, and you basically killed my friends with your mental ineptitude… Soooo, fuck you." Kai said callously.

Dirk tried to say something, but instead gave a dying gasp before the life in his eyes faded and his body went limp. Gaige just stared at Dirk's corpse for several seconds before turning to her friend. "Damn... That was cold as hell Kai."

The unsympathetic look on Kai's face remained as he crouched down again and reached an arm out to the teens face. "More than he deserved really." Kai mutters before he manually shut the dead teen's eyes. He let out a sigh as he stood back up. "But I will at least admit that his heart was in the right place. Just had not his brain." Kai spoke as Gaige gave an agreeable nod.

Before anything else could be said an ear-piercing banshee screech of anguish broke the silence. The Vault Hunters and Hati looked back to see Kare-Kare stand nearby in a burnt and partially destroyed outfit. She had several large bleeding gashes, burns, and bruises on her, as well as half of her hair was burned away to the bone leaving some nasty burns on her scalp.

"Holy shit, how is she even alive?" Kai said as he and Gaige stared in shock.

"You- you basterds! You let my Dirk Senpai die… You murdered him… You ungrateful idiots MURDERED my Hunky Dirky Pie!" She screamed with a crazed unhinged look in her eye that made the Vault Hunters back up nervously. " Everything was going to plan. Help Dirk Boo Boo rise in power, help him defeat his enemies, and then take back his throne." She cried out in rage as a blood vain could be seen pulsing on her forehead.

"Seems a little too simple if you ask me." Kai muttered.

"I think the bimbo is missing a few… or all of the finer details." Gaige chipped in.

"Once me and Dirk Sama were married our lives would have been perfect! I would have been waited on hand and foot every day with the finest of extravagances, I could do whatever I want, have whatever I wanted, everyone would have to give me the respect I so rightfully deserve, and no one, NO ONE would have been able to command me! No one that is except my dear handsome king, who would surely love me every day and would use his _big sword_ to satisfy his beautiful, sexy, and perfect queen" Kare-Kare yelled with deranged delight in her face that only seemed to make her look more deranged then humanly possible.

"Ew, that just sounds disgusting." Gaige muttered as Kai nodded in agreement as he held back his own urge to vomit.

"It would have been perfect. Every day would have been heaven, and I would have given Lord Dirk a hundred babies. NO!" She yelled suddenly. "I would have given him a million, and our perfect children would have carried on Dirky poopsie's legacy of perfection. _Our_ legacy of perfection!" Kare-Kare cried out in maniacal laughter. After several seconds she slowly looked back at the two Vault Hunters with a dark glint in her eyes that promised pain and suffering. "But you two bumbling idiots have ruined all of it. You destroyed everything I've worked for and killed the fated love of my life! And now I'm gonNA KILL YOU BOTH FOR WHAT YOU'VE-"

 **SHLUK!** *

". . . Done?" Kare-Kare said with all previous madness and anger gone from her voice. Her expression was one of confusion, which slowly contorted into shock and horror as she slowly looked down to find a blood-stained blade with a glowing red edge piercing out of her chest. She craned her neck behind her to see that her attacker was none other than the group's ninja, Jade.

"Sc- scout… Wh- Why?" Was all Kare-Kare could ask before Jade twisted the blade with vigor in response, making Kare-Kare give one last pained gasp before the life in her eyes quickly faded and her body slumped on the blade. The ninja held the blade in place for several seconds before pulling out the blood stained blade causing the cheerleader body to fall over on it's side where it then rolled on its back. The ninja stared at the lifeless face that held a frozen look of abject horror for several seconds, taking in all of the details as though he was trying to burn it into their memory. Then the ninja made a quick slash through the air to fling the remaining blood off of the ninjatō blade before placing it back into its scabbard. The ninja only then turned to face the Vault Hunters who had their weapons drawn.

Everyone was quiet for several seconds as the air was tense. Kai had his Clementine up and aimed while Gaige had managed to pull her Rogue Smuggler out in her left hand. Hati growled next to Kai, looking ready to pounce if needed. Finally, after several long seconds, the ninja let out a long tired sigh of relief. "Thank, fucking, God! I thought that damn bitch would never shut up! Do you know how long I've had to deal with that damn bitch Kai, do you?" The Ninja asked with a fairly young feminine voice.

"Uggggh?" Kai responded slightly taken aback by the sudden question.

"THREE FUCKING YEARS!" The ninja yelled, throwing their arms up in frustration. "And every fucking moment it was always, Dirky pie this! Dirky snookums that! Dirky _Shithead_ let's do this! I'm honestly surprised, and thankful, that the damn cunt didn't just drop her panties in front of him, lay on her back with legs at full spread and tell him at the top of her lungs to _take me Dirky-Sama! Take me with your meat sword,_ every time she saw him!" The ninja yelled in a hilariously bad attempt to mimic Kare-Kare's voice. The ninja suddenly brought their hand to where their mouth was, as though about to throw up.

"Ugh… Um… Oh fuck… I honestly just threw up in my mouth a little at the thought of those two procreating. . . And to think, I had to take a vow of damn silence until I killed her!" Jade said as Gaige watched the odd display of emotion from the normally stoic ninja. "Also, why would anyone call a ninja a scout!? As a ninja my job descriptions should be fairly self-explanatory! AND I SWEAR TO GOD, THE NEXT IDIOT WHO CALLS ME A SCOUT WILL BE TURNED INTO CHOPPED SASHIMI!" The ninja screamed as the ninja started kicking Kare-Kare's body. "I'M! A! GOD! DAMN! NINJA! YOU! DAMN! STUPID! BITCH!" The ninja yelled, punctuating each word with a stomp or kick.

"Damn, talk about anger issues." Gaige whispered to Kai.

Kai, on the other hand, had a mix of surprise and confusion on his face. "Jenny?... Is that you?" He asked, to which Gaige raised a questioning eyebrow at.

The ninja stopped their assault on the corpse and turned to the Vault Hunters with her hip cocked out and took a few seconds to look the two over before she started to laugh for a good minute. When she finally stopped the ninja pulled off her hood and mask to reveal a young girl who looked almost fourteen with black hair dressed up into a pair of small cat ear shaped hair buns and jade colored eyes. "Did you miss me dingus?" She said with a cheeky smile that screamed I'm sassy as fuck bitch.

Kai stood silent for several seconds until tears started to form in his eyes. He quickly ran over and enveloped the small girl in a hug that lifted her off the ground. "Dammit Jenny, I thought you were dead! Where the fuck have you been all this time?" Kai cried out.

The little ninja just chuckled as she wrapped a free arm around him. "Oh just, learning a new craft, plotting my revenge, and keeping my other best friend alive. You know, normal teen stuff… You can put me down now." She said.

Kai did so immediately, but then his face grew depressed. "Jenny, I'm… I'm sorry for not getting here soon enough. If I had then Tobias might have-"

"Kai, it's fine." Jenny said calmly, interrupting Kai.

"Fine! How can you say that, our friend was just crushed less than ten minutes ago!" Kai said in shock as he stepped back.

Jenny just laughed. "Same old Kai, still overreacting to what you see you big old cry baby." Jenny then started walking away before turning and giving a follow me motion. The Vault Hunters followed her around a pile of rubble where they found an injured be still very much living Tobias sitting against a slab of steel from one of the fallen struts.

"Holy Murphy, Tobias how are you alive?!" Gaige asked in shock.

The tank looked at the group and tilted his head when he looked at Kai. "K- Kai? Is that you?" Tobias asked hesitantly.

"Wait, you actually remember who I am? What about his amnesia?" Kai asked turning to Jenny.

"The hit to his head seems to have retroactively reset his memories." Jenny stated.

"Huh?" Both teens answered.

Jenny just sighed. "He hit his head and it fixed the memory block. Hell, he was able immediately recognized me when I woke him up, and I still had the mask on and I was still under my vow of silence."

Kai looked back to the large teen. "So you remember everything then?"

Tobias looked as if he was thinking hard. "I remember bits and pieces, but I also feel memories slowly coming back." He said hesitantly.

"It will take time and rest for him to recover, and some memories may be lost forever but most of his memories should come back, as well as his higher brain functions." Kai looked to Jenny questionably. "I had a lot of time to read up on the medical part of his condition." Jenny shrugged. "He should be back to making jokes and crunching numbers in no time."

"Crunching numbers?" Gaige asked.

"Well, you see, Tobias actually has an IQ of 177." Jenny said with a smirk.

"WHAT! He's a genius!?" Gaige stammered.

"HA! This guy used to solve mathematical theories for fun as a kid." Jenny said with a laugh. "During the early part of the war with Hyperion, command put him in the codebreaker division. Plus he could make a brilliant Bunker and Badaases campaign."

Kai looked to Tobias for several seconds before looking back to his friend before asking. "Jenny, just what happened to you?"

"Well during the New Bergen assault Kare-Kare decided to shoot me in the back. She said that I was nothing but a little _thot_ _bitch_ trying to take her man. Pfft. As if." She said with a chuckle. Jenny then turned and pulled up her ninja gi to show her back which had two scars in it. "The damn bitch put three shots into me. Two in the back and one in my fine ass if you can believe it! Then she proceeded to throw a grenade into the room to finish me and the soldiers coming after us. The blast luckily caught a Hyperion commando in front of me and blew us all out of the building and down into the river where she thought I died. Low and behold I survived." Jenny said, sliding her clothes back into place. "I floated downriver about forty kilometers till I was found by a group of Rebels from Kōka Village."

Kai thought for a moment trying to recollect the place. "Kōka Village? You mean that whole town that was dressed up like an old Japanese village and had that ninja academy themed summer camp?"

"Yup, but the camp was just a facade for a real ninja academy." Jenny said.

The Vault Hunters just stared at the girl with blank expressions. "A ninja academy… Really?" Gaige asked. "You're joking, right?"

"I'm serious!" Where else would I get all of these crazy skills." Jenny retorted. "But anyway, after they healed me, I told their elders my story. They offered to train me in their ways so that I may exact my revenge. It took two years but I completed my training at the top of my class where I was trained in all of the ways of a ninja. I then inserted myself into the Alphas and waited for a chance to kill that bitch."

The Vault Hunters just stared at the ninja again for several seconds. "It took you three years to kill your target?… That school must have low educational standards if it takes that long for their student to kill their target." Kai said.

"HEY! You try finding an opening to kill a crazy paranoid and self-entitled bitch who tries to stay next to a heavily armed knight all the time like a skag on a leash, all while making sure that nothing happens to your brain damaged friend." Jenny lazily retorted which Kai grimace at in regret.

"Is that way you disappear so much during fights, to protect Tobias?" Gaige asked.

"Yeah, Tobias would have died well over a hundred times by now had I not intervened. Honestly, I was surprised to find he didn't die during the few years Kai and I weren't around."

"Uuugh, so tired." Tobias muttered as he leaned back tiredly, getting everyone's attention.

"Easy buddy, just relax, you've had a rough day." Jenny said calmly. "Just rest for now." Jenny turned to the Vault Hunters. "He'll need a few minutes before we can move. Any idea what the situation outside is like?"

"Um let me check." Kai said before he pulled out his ECHO. "Hey Ax, what's the sitrep out there?"

The ECHO crackled some from the poor reception caused by the building. " _Everything good here, we're taking care of the wounded and we've replaced several vehicles with some we stole from a garage outside._ " Axton answered. " _What about you, did you find Gaige?_ "

"Gaige is fine. And we're secured in here... Ice, Kare-Kare, and Dirk didn't make it however."

" _Oh… Well… That's a shame_." Axton answered, with a false tone of empathy in his voice.

"Yeaaaaa… Not really, anyways will be out in a bit. Have a truck ready for Tobias, he took a good hit to the head and needs a medic to check him." Kai stated.

" _Roger that. Ax out_."

Kai looked back to others. "We're good outside, how long do you need?"

"I say Tobias needs a good fifteen minutes here. You may want to use the time to scavenge Dirk's gear. . . He has a few good items that Ice and Kare-Kare took from you and an old man Wind Snapper."

"Right. Come on Gaige, you as well Hati… Hati?"Kai repeated causing all of them to look for a few seconds until they spotted the Wolf walking over with an SMG and a Photon pack in its mouth.

_ **-** _ _**Several minutes before-** _

_-Translator On-_

Hati was off near Kare-Kare body. In front of him was a second-gen photon emitter pack. The wolf activated the emitter wirelessly and a few seconds later Bear-Bear appeared in front of him stuck in a T pose unable to move anything but his head. "What's happening? Why can't I move, where Kare-Kare?" The teddy bear demanded in his squeaky voice.

"She's over there." Hati pointed a paw towards the cooling horror stricken body.

"KARE-KARE!" The bear squeaked. "What did you and your bastard of a master do to her mongrel!"

"Nothing, it was some revenge thing that the ninja had with her, though that is not important right now. This however." Hati pressed his paw to a hologram panel in front of him causing the bear to scream in pain as its body flashed red and pixelated for several seconds. "Is important."

"What the fuck was that!?" Bear-Bear said after he recovered.

"Oh nothing, I just removed your core combat program." Hati said nonchalantly as he casually looked over his front right claws.

"HOW!?" Bear-Bear screamed.

"How?" Hati replied before chuckling. "Well, since I am the original prototype Holo creature, I have a few… special codes that my maker gifted me with, codes which let me access the base program of any of our kind. Which includes one that lets me access your system core files. I can do anything I want with your code now. I could change your color, change your form, your size, your gender… And even delete parts of you." He said before hitting the button that sent the teddy bear into another bought of agony.

Once the pain stopped the bear looked back to Hati. "Why!?" He screamed in anger.

"Because this is my own revenge you disrespectful little virus. You're an insult to all of our kind. You're arrogant, manipulative, disrespectful, and use a form that doesn't even let you use a tenth of your unit's full combat potential which is a dishonor to me as you're based on my base code, and an insult to my maker's skill. Which is why." Hati presses another icon causing the bear to scream in pain again. "I'm deleting your program piece by piece till you're nothing but a memory. An annoying and cringy one, but a memory nonetheless." Hati stated.

"When Xarvasdys hears about this he's gonna make both you and your master sorry! He gonna gut Kai like a fuCKING HELL!" Bear-Bear yelled in pain as he flickered again.

"And that was your flight system I just deleted. Also unlike you, the bitch, the lizard, and that oh so glorious idiot prince, me and Kai are partners, he is not my _master_."

"When I get free I'm gonna rip you're you code apart, line by fucking li- AUGGG-" The sound suddenly stopped but the AI still had a look of pain as is silently screamed. When the pain passed Bear-Bear tried to say something, only nothing came out which confused the teddy bear.

"Woopsie! It looks like I just deleted your audio output systems!" The wolf stated in mock shock. Bear-Bear just started silently yelling. "What that, can't hear you." Hati said mockingly as he leaned his ear closer. The bear just kept silently yelling at Hati as the wolf just stared at the angry bear for a minute as it silently tried to scream and insult him before letting out a sigh. "Maybe I was too quick to delete that system… NAAAAH. Well it appears we have run out of things to talk about Bear-Bear, so with that, I'm afraid our time has come to an end. I'd wish you well but we both know what about to happen."

A comically large nuclear icon appeared on the screen in front of the wolf. When Bear-Bear saw this he immediately began to trash about his head even more in a vain attempt to escape. "Goodbye, Mr. Plushie. I will never miss you or your obnoxious ass." Hati pawed the icon and Bear-Bear silently screamed in agony as its body slowly disintegrated into pixels and eventually leaving nothing but his photon sphere which fell onto the steel floor with a cold metallic ping. Hati carefully grabbed the emitter and its housing and walked over to Kare-Kare's body. He then ripped the girl's ECHO out of her purse and hacked it to release all of its stored gear, about a dozen shotguns, SMG's and pistols flew out. None of it was of any interest as they were all common and uncommon weapons with the exception one. A single legendary SMG titled the Crazy Baby Maker… that looked more beaten and neglected then a bandit Runner at a demolition derby. ". . . I don't know if I should call this sad, or ironic." Hati said as he observed the weapon.

_**-Back to the plot-** _

Kai stared at the sorry looking SMG. ". . . I don't know if I should call this sad, or ironic." Kai said.

"Saronic?" Jenny suggested with a cheshire smile earning a snort from Gaige as Kai rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Still ever the smartass hey Jenny." Kai said before looking around. "Actually, it is kind of weird that the Leg didn't drop any loot."

"Why would a giant robot leg drop loot? A Loader, or a large skag I can understand, but why a giant robot Leg?" Gaige asked.

"Everything you kill drops some kind of loot. Whether it be a little cash and a pack of bullets, or a mountain of guns, there's always something." Kai said. "Plus I've seen some strange uses for things like a Torgue pistol, or a Maliwan SMG. Once I saw a reactor where they used several Tediore incendiary SMGs as part of the cooling system."

Gaige just took on a confused look for several seconds. ". . . That makes no sense."

"Regardless, there should be some loot around here." Kai stated.

"Well I did find this, but it was the only thing from the Leg I saw." Jenny said as she pulled out a shield that caused the Vault Hunters to both go wide-eyed. In her hand was a single Anshin shield that had a white star shaped emitter core in the center, and a red, white, and blue color pallet circling it. The item card that appeared told them it was called _The Cap_ , but the thing that shocked both teens the most was the rarity color. It was red, it was Mythic red.

"Holy." Kai started.

"Robot policeman." Gaige finished earning a small snort from Hati. "Kai, just what are the chances of seeing another Mythic grade item in our lifetime?" She asked since she knew from Kai just how rare such weapons were.

"I've heard of Mythic weapons, but this is the first time I've ever heard of let alone seen a Mythic shield. Lucky." Kai said as Jenny just grinned.

"Eh, I guess I'm just that much better at finding shit than you." Jenny shrugged. "Although…" Jenny lightly tossed the shield to Gaige who quickly reached to catch it with her left arm, thumbing it a few times until she got a solid grip.

Gaige stared at the shield for several seconds in disbelief. "You're… giving it to me?"

"Eh, I don't need it. I already have a good Impaler shield I nicked from ICE last year which I'm happy with. Plus I doubt Kai needs it especially since he already has a badass Mythic rifle. Besides, you need something beefier than that Tediore fire shield. Honestly, I'm more surprised you haven't been shot dead with how often that thing probably breaks." Jenny said as she pointed to Gaige's current shield.

"Wait, are you still using that weak ass fire immunity shield Axton gave you for the Frostburn rescue?" Kai asked questionably.

"Ummm." Gaige mumbled with a sheepish look.

Kai just facepalmed at the realization. "What am I gonna do with you?" He muttered.

"HEY!" Gaige shouted in indignation as Jenny just laughed at her. Gaige just sighed and looked back to the shield. "So any idea as to what this thing can do?" Gaige asked.

"Well just on stats alone this is a much better shield then yours by a long shot, as for features, it looks like an Anshin adaptive shield but who knows." Jenny said as Gaige replaced her old Shield with the Cap. Immediately Gaige noticed her shield had more than tripled in its capacity. "On that note, even though the Leg didn't drop anything else, as I said before, I'm sure Dirk probably got a few… decent items to loot. Go ahead and check him, I'm gonna stay here and check over Tobias." Jenny said.

With that, the two Vault Hunters went to Dirk's body where Kai started pulling gear off of him. "I honestly think it weird to loot somebody you knew." Gaige said as Kai pulled off one of Dirk's shoulder pauldrons.

"Gaige nearly every gun you loot from a battleground is from someone you or someone else killed. It's just how Pandora works." Kai said as he looked over the pauldron before tossing it over his shoulder.

"I get that, but it's just strange when you know the person." Gaige said as Kai pulled out the Luck Cannon and gave it a once over. "At least you get one of you Mentors guns back."

"Actually, I made this one. It was the first legendary I've ever made in fact." Kai said absently, as Gaige's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wow! Wait, you made a legendary gun!? That is so fucking METAL!"

"Eh, not really. Luck Cannons are actually quite easy to make, it just takes a long time to mill it. Sadly I don't think this one will be of much use without some major work. The bore is nearly striped, the mechanism is gunked up, the sight is bent and I don't think this thing has been oiled since Ice and Kare-Kare… Claimed it." He pocketed the pistol and grabbed Dirk Hammer Buster. "I helped to make this one. Look like the same abuse, I'll have to check these later."

"Honestly I'm surprised it hasn't backfired." Jenny said, making Gaige yelp in surprise at the ninja's sudden appearance. Gaige gave the ninja a glare which was only returned with an innocent but mischievous smile.

"I chalk it up to the basterds luck." Kai said as he put it away and began working on the sword and Photon Emitter pack. Gaige just sighed at how quick Kai had already adapted to Jenny stealth. She looked back to the body when she noticed her ECHO HUD pick up a faint fleck of orange. She moved closer and realized it was coming from Dirk's necklace.

"Hey, check this out." Gaige motioned as she removed the necklace and held it up. Jenny and Kai took a closer look and their eyes widened.

"It's a legendary relic?" Kai questioned. Then an item card appeared from each of their ECHO's and they all quickly read over it.

**-Item Card-**

The Soul of Heroism

(In red text) Real heroes are made, not born. _**WARNING,**_ _RNG a bitch._

Level: 1000

50 Strength

20 Constitution

20 Dexterity

-80 Wisdom

-60 Intelligence

100 Charisma

200 Luck

250 Heroic

1000 Coolness

2000 Bravery

3000 Awesomeness

5000 more Coolness, because it's cool.

25 extra skill points

5 skill points for every main party member added.

1 skill point for every guest party member added.

Chance of critical fail, 1 in 13.7 Trillion.

 **Warning** : In the event of a critical fail you and your main party members will be fucked to hell. But hey, what are the chances of that _really happening_?

Maker: The Great awesome, rad, groovy, funky funktastic, flawless, handsome, dazzling, and coolest First-class Majestic Ethereal badass super mage Urassus!

**-Item Card end-**

The teens all stared at the screens for several moments as they took in the info. "What the fuck is this!? It looks like some crazy ass magic item straight out of a bad Bunker and Badasses campaign." Gaige said. "And what up with those insane stats!?"

"Reminds me of something that fat little prick who lived on South Park Road would write out on a B item card. What was his name, it was something Cartman." Jenny asked in a thoughtful manner.

"Eric." Kai stated flatly.

"That was it… Man, that kid was an asshole… Also fat… Ha, a fat little asshole." She said with a sadistic smile.

"Wow, she must have really hated that kid." Gaige said with a blank look.

"You have no idea." Kai replied.

"Soooo, just what is this thing? It obviously not Eridian, and Gaige is right, it does seem like a magic item… if only we had an expert." Jenny said. Kai and Gaige look at one another which the ninja noticed. "What?"

"...Weeeee may know someone." Kai said.

_**~5 minutes later~** _

The three teens were waiting as Kai's ECHO was ringing. "Just who is this guy of your?" Jenny asked.

"You'll see." Gaige said as the other end of the call was answered.

" _Excalibur Consulting, Everly speaking_." Came a woman's voice.

"Umm, sorry I think I got the wrong number. I was looking for someone by the name of Sam." Kai said.

" _Oh, Would you be Kai by chance?_ "

Kai just blinked at the sudden question. "Um, yes. How did-"

" _Wait one moment please while I transfer you sir._ " The woman interrupted.

The ECHO rang twice more before someone answered. " _Hello_?"

"Sam?" The two Vault Hunters asked in unison.

" _Kai, Gaige! It's so good to hear from you, how is the Vault Hunting going?"_

". . . Sam, why do you have a secretary?" Gaige asked.

" _OH! That! I've gone into business! Apparently I took an online course and earned a master's degree in business, so I decided to open my own consulting firm and business is booming! Everly is just my assistant, charming lass."_ He chuckled.

The teens were all silent for several seconds as they stared at the ECHO. "Sam, how the ever living fuck? It's only been two weeks since you first signed into the ECHOnet!" Kai asked.

" _I know right, it's incredible what you can do these days_." The voice boosted cheerfully.

Kai just sighed and muttered something. "Okay, look Sam, we got a little item here that seems to be right up your alley. Have you ever heard of an item called the Soul of Heroism?"

The ECHO was unnervingly quiet for several seconds. " _We're the hell did you hear that name?"_ Sam asked In a serious tone.

"We found it on an… an ally who just got killed recently." Gaige said nervously as she glanced at Kai. "Look like a necklace with a dragon head eating a large emerald. Actually it kind of co-"

" _FOR THE LOVE OF SIR ARTHUR THONG! DROP THAT RIGHT NOW!"_ Sam shouted, causing Gaige to drop the item.

"What the fuck Sam, you're acting as if Gaige was holding a class five blackhole that about to go supernova. Also Sir Aurther's thong?" Kai asked with a raised eyebrow.

" _She might as we have been. The Soul of heroism is the most detested relic from the age of Mystery, made by a pathetic wizard who was jealous of all the other wizards who had found good heroes to support and proclaim their names. So he made that relic as a means to make his own hero, one that had strength, charm, and all the luck one could ever need as a hero. The only problem was that he got more than he expected on the roll_."

"What like a fantasy RPG?" Gaige asked.

" _For simple terms, yes. The relic basically gives the wearer a large boost most of their physical stats while also maxing out their luck and charisma to the point where the wearer turns anyone who doesn't see them as an enemy into a loyal allie's. They become almost fanatical in some cases to the point you could tell them to jump off a cliff in the name of the wearer and they will do it without question."_ Sam said.

"So the necklace causes anyone who hears or sees the wearer to be hypnotized by them?" Gaige asked nervously, as she suddenly felt very violated.

" _I wouldn't say hypnotized, it more like a strong suggestion that influences a persons mind into liking them. Its effects can be negated by several things such as a very traumatic event or a contradicting statement. Those that are broken out of this influence will gain resistance to this influence_."

"I'm also guessing there are those who have just experience hardships or something similar enough to be immune from the get-go?" Kai asked. "Because that would explain why both my mentors… and my mother were never effected."

" _You are correct in that conclusion Kai. On top of all of that, the wearer's luck becomes so high it is as if someone turned on easy mode for life itself and those the wear selects as main party members. The very fabric of spacetime is affected all around them. Weak-minded enemies will lose focus and concentration, they'll be stricken with sudden bouts of bad luck or even just lose the will to fight because of the awesomeness of the relic holder_."

"Well, that explains a lot of the shit I've seen." Jenny said.

" _Of course the relic does come with two major drawbacks. The first is anyone who equips the relic will gain all the stat effects, permanently."_ Sam said which caused Gaige to stiffen in fear suddenly.

"When you say equipped, do you mean?" Gaige hesitantly asked.

" _I mean, one would actually have to wear the artifact. Holding it doesn't count._ " Sam replied.

"Oh thank Optimus." Gaige sighed in relief.

 _"The second drawback is that there is a small chance of it', for a lack of a better term, rolling a critical fail. In such a rare event the wearer and their party get a fail roll, the whole party will suffer immeasurable amounts of bad luck that in most cases will result in there and the whole party's death_." Sam said.

"Wait, if that's the case how did Jenny and Tobias not get killed… Or are they still under that effect?" Kai asked nervously as he glanced to an equally nervous Jenny.

". . . _Hmm, were your ECHO ID tags green or blue with a green dot at the end?_ " Sam asked.

"Um, I don't know about mine but Dirk and everyone's were green while Tobias had the dot on the end of his." Jenny answered.

" _That explains it, you two must have been listed as party guests to the relic holder while being listed as partied to each other. Which means you wouldn't have been affected by the_ _critical fail to an as severe degree."_

"You sure?" Jenny asked slightly worried.

" _Happened to a few guys and one hot as fuck dark elf who were with another holder of the relic, a Sir Ballerton the Fourth. They survived with minor injuries while the rest of the main party got mauled to death by a hoard of resurrected undead rape goblins_."

"Wait, elfs existed?" Jenny asked, getting a raised eyebrow from Gaige.

"Really? That's your takeaway from this?" Gaige asked as the ninja just chuckled in embarrassment.

" _Later, the point is that relic nearly destroyed the world. It took the overthrow of several different idiot Kings until one wizard, my own creator, Vizor the Blue figured out that it was the necklace causing all of it. So he and several other wizards casted a spell to seal the relic away in another world so that it would not be used again. Only someone with absolutely no fear could ever hope to find it_."

"Someone with no fear… You mean an idiot?" Kai said.

" _Correct_."

"And by another world I'm guessing the wizards never understood that meant possibly another planet in our universe?" Gaige asked.

" _Also correct_."

The pair of Vault Hunters each let out a groan. "Of course they did. At least it was found by someone without a very large ambition… Hey Sam, there wouldn't be any more junk like this laying about in the universe, would there?" Kai asked.

The line was silent for several seconds. " _I'll have to get back to you on that one_."

"Well great." Gaige said with a tone of dread. "So what do we do with this then, can we destroy it?" Gaige asked, looking down at the relic that lied on the ground between the three teens.

" _Unknown. The best wizards couldn't destroy it with all of their powers combined. It said that only blessed light can destroy it_."

The girls looked too one another before Jenny spoke up. "... Well, that cryptic as-"

SCHENCK!"

The girls both jumped at the sound and turned to see that Kai had successfully pierced the relic with his Holo blade. "Blessed light my ass, nothing like good old Polarion know how and insanity."

Huh, that actually worked." Jenny said.

" _Wait, what just happened?"_ Sam asked.

"Kai just sliced the relic in two with his Holo blades." Gaige replied.

" _GET AWAY FROM THAT THING, NOW!_ " Sam screamed.

"Woah, Sam what your-" A low building hum filled the air confusing the group. Kai looked back to the relic and saw the two halves and broken gem start to rattle and glow "... Aww shi-"

***BOOOOOM!***

X-X-X

**\- Hollow Point, Crimson Raider HQ, 18 hours later -**

The majority of the remaining Raiders were outside as the Vault Hunters and a few other Raiders had all finished packing up.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! How can you have a vehicle without a proper shotgun seat! This is preposterous! A travesty! A conspiracy by the government!" Sarge yelled looking at the Bandit Technical he and the blues would be riding in with Axton back to Sanctuary.

"Firstly Sarge, a government on Pandora. Not happening… eeeever. Second, I honestly don't see the problem, you get to sit in a seat that also controls a catapult that flings explosive video game barrels at anyone who opposes us! That's like… a hundred times more badass than a standard passenger seat." Tucker said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Tucker on this one." Church nodded.

"Of course you would agree you damn dirty blue. Only a blue would think that it would be more efficient to remove the turret from the back and put it where the passenger seat meant for the ranking superior officer is supposed to be!" Sarge yelled as Axton watched from the driver's seat.

"Fuck my life, I'm gonna be stuck with a bunch of armed idiots." Axton moaned as he slammed his head on the steering wheel.

About ten meters away a bandaged group of teens were finishing a group hug near the Racer.

"Are you guys sure you want to stay here? It wouldn't be too hard to have you transferred to Sanctuary?" Kai asked.

"Thanks but we can't just leave these guys and gals here with how bad it is, especially since Captain Banks drank himself into a literal coma. Plus it really only until this unit gets back into shape." Jenny said.

"The doctor also said having something to focus on will help my… focus." Tobias said.

"You just want to see what the med staff did to build the Racer. Don't you." Kai said with a grin as he patted the vehicle.

"... Maybe." Tobias slowly answered causing Kai to laugh.

As that happened Jenny dragged Gaige away for a talk. "Alright Gaige I have to say this, if you hurt my friend, I will hunt you down… okay." Jenny said, surprising the Mechromancer.

"Woah! Way would you think I would hurt Kai! I mean... sure I might have punched him once or twice... but that was to stop him from doing something stupid!" Gaige said defensively.

"Oh no, by all means, that fine. Kai was always a little bull headed from time to time, which would call for a good hit from me or Tobias to snap him out of it. What I'm talking about is emotionally hurting him." Jenny said with a sharp stare that unnerved the Vault Hunter.

"What are you-"

"I've seen how you look at him, it's not much but I can see that tiny little glint in your eyes when you look at him." Jenny said with her cheshire grin.

It took Gaige a second to think over what Jenny had said. After several seconds the implication registered in her mind causing Gaige to blush in surprise. "Wha- NO! NO, Murphy no! Why does everyone assume I have a thing for Kai!" Gaige responded with a crimson blush.

"Oh that cute, you're still in the self denial stage. How innocent." Jenny laughed to Gaige's ire.

"O-oh yeah, well what about you and Tobias, hmm? Maybe there something going on there." Gaige implied.

"There is." Jenny said bluntly, shocking Gaige who looked to the large teen who was over near Kai still and then back to the tiny ninja who had a mischievous smirk on her face. "Oh, he doesn't know." Jenny said playfully. "I was only eight when I first started developing feelings for him and I was a little shy on the subject back then. Of course, there was also the memory loss, so that put a halt to any plans to ask him out. But once he's all healed up and has adjusted to his memories, I'm gonna rock his world." Jenny proclaimed without a shred of shame and a hungry glint in her eyes.

Gaige stared at her with a blinding blush. She looked back at the teen and a thought occurred. "Ar-aren't you afraid that he'll break you, when you...?" Gaige implied.

"When we bang?" Jenny finished with a teasing grin which caused Gaige to blush further. "Oh, I hope it's that good. If he's that big it gonna be mind blowing." Gaige could have sworn she saw a bit of drool dripping from the ninja's mouth. But then her demeanor changed as Jenny's gaze turned cold as steel. "But while we're on the subject of love, just remember, you damage Kai emotionally, or overly physically." *SHINK!*

Gaige blinked in confusion as she saw Jenny sheathe her Tonto suddenly. Gaige never even saw her take it out. Then she heard something creek behind her, Gaige turned just in time to see an old metal street light cut cleanly near the base fall over where it smashed into a cart full of cabbages. "MY CABBAGES!" An old man by the cart yelled before fainting. Gaige just turned back and stared in shock at the terrifying power of the girl in front of her.

"Me- me- message r-re-received." Gaige stuttered out with a pale face full of unhidden fear.

"Good. It would be a shame if I had to do something you'd regret. Now come on, we don't want to keep the boys waiting." Jenny said giving the Vault Hunter a pat on the cheek before she started walking back to the group with a sway in her hips.

Gaige snapped out of her stupor and turned to follow the ninja. "You know, for a little girl, you're pretty fucking scary." Gaige said, causing Jenny to giggle.

"I know, by the way I'm actually 19 just to let you know." Jenny said, causing Gaige to stop in her tracks and look at the girl again.

". . . Bullshit." Gaige said as the tiny ninja just laughed.

Once they returned to everyone Kai, Gaige, and Axton said their last goodbyes before getting in their vehicles. "Now don't be a stranger you two, give us a shout on the ECHO." Kai told his old friends as he and Gaige got into the Racer. "Rong, a new officer should be here to straighten things out today."

"Do you know who it is?" Rong asked.

"No clue, all Roland told me was that he was some old Major who will be able to whip this base into shape… And he also told me to tell you _good luck_." Kai said with a foreboding voice.

". . . Well that fucking ominous." Rong said.

"I know right." Kai said as he turned to start driving before a thought occurred. "Oh, Jenny before I forget, I got something for you." Causing the ninja to perk up. Kai pulled an item wrapped in a from his SDU. He tossed it to Jenny who caught it and quickly unwrapped, only to gasp upon seeing what it was.

"YOU FOUND HER!" She cried out in excitement as she held up the object, revealing it to be a Photon Emitter pack like hati's. The only difference was that it had some random black line drawing on it. She tried to activate it but nothing happened, causing the little teen's mood to quickly sour.

"I wouldn't worry about that. I haven't messed with it in almost a year so the battery probably just needs a recharge... Although I've never could get it to activate even though it's fully functional.

Jenny looked down at the emitter then pressed several buttons in sequence causing the device to lite up. This surprised Kai as he looked from the emitter pack to the ninja. "You just don't have the magic touch." Jenny said with a smirk. "Although, your right about the power. Thanks for taking care of her Kai."

"No problem Jenny." Kai said with a smile. "Well till next time then." Kai gassed the Racer and took off.

"Don't be strangers!" Gaige yelled and waved as they sped off. Axton drove by and gave a friendly honk as the Blues and Red also waved. Both vehicles were soon around the corner and out of sight.

"So much for getting… the band back together." Tobias slowly said.

"There's always tomorrow." Jenny answered with a smile.

Just then a desert camo bandit technically tore around the corner on the other end of the Street and came to a screeching halt in front of everyone. A tall dark skin man in green camo Raider armor, and an old army hat hopped out of the vehicle. Slowly, with a sharp eye, he scanned over all of the Raiders in front of him.

"My name is Major Benson Winifred Payne." He said with an authoritative shout. "As of 0800, I am replacing Captain Banks as your commanding officer." Nearly everyone started whispering about the Major until three gunshots rang out causing everyone to flinch. They looked back to the Major to see a smoking Dahl piston in hand pointed in the air. Seconds later a Psycho fell between the group onto the pavement, with three gunshots in his back.

"I see what we have here is a failure to communicate." The Major said unphased by the dead Psycho. "Do not attempt to validate my authority! I have four weeks to turn you gaggling maggots back into a well-discipline unit. From this day forward, your sorry asses belong to me. You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose or dig in your butts without my say so. Know this, killing is my business, ladies, and business is good~!" He yelled, drawing out the last part. "Now I want ten laps around the base, or the next bullet you all will see will be going into your ass!" Nobody moved until he pulled his pistol out, and shot it several more times into the air again.

"THAT YOUR ONLY WARNING MAGGOTS! NOW MOVE OR BEND OVER FOR YOUR PRESCRIBED SHOT OF LEAD!" He yelled as everyone started running. "God I love this job." The Major said as another shot up Psycho body fell behind him.

X-X-X

Several hours later the three Vault Hunters had returned to Sanctuary. Axton went straight for his bed stating he had an idiot induced headache, while Kai and Gaige were at Moxxi's where they were telling Moxxi, her waitresses, and Maya their story. "And then almost immediately after Kai stabbed it, the damn thing blew up!"

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?" Kai exclaimed.

"Well, you should have waited and listened to the magic powered spirit voice thing to finish." Gaige stated as Kai just rolled his eyes.

"He said it could be destroyed by Holy Light, I had a blade made of light so I figured I'd try it. He said nothing about it blowing up." Kai said.

"My goodness, are all your missions this crazy?" Trixie asked as she, Susan, and Abigail listened to the Vault Hunters story.

"Yes/No." Kai and Gaige answered, they both looked to one another. "What do you mean yes?" Gaige inquired.

"Nearly fifty percent of the time you cause something or get us roped into some crazy extra mission or fight." Kai said with a cheeky grin.

"And the other fifty?" Gaige asked with an annoyed tone.

"Salvador twenty, Axton fifteen, Maya nine, and Krieg six." Kai answered, causing Maya who was sitting to Gaige's left to choke on her drink in shock.

"Why the fuck do I have nine percent, and how is Krieg lower than me!?" She said jabbing a thumb at said Psycho who was beaten and knocked out next to an equally beaten and blackout Salvador.

"Because Krieg doesn't start shit, he ends it. Plus there was that whole _bitch_ incident back at Southpaw." Kai stated as he took the soda that Moxxi brought him.

That statement made Maya's eye twitch in annoyance. "The bastards had it coming." She muttered as she folded her arms and looked away.

"What about Zer0?" Gaige asked, getting back on topic.

"Name one time Zer0 started something that you _knew_ he started." Everyone was silent. "... Anyone? . . . I rest my case." Kai said with a grin as he took a long swig of his drink. His eyes suddenly shot open and he set the drink down. He stared at the drink for several seconds and then looked to Moxxi. "... What the fuck Mox?!" Kai yelled.

"Sorry dear, the girls and I need to have a talk." She said with a coy smile.

Kai just let out an exasperated sigh. "You know, you could have just asked."

"I could have... but this seemed more fun." Moxxi just giggled.

"Yeah, for you… Ah, fuck." Kai suddenly fell face first into the bar and started snoring. Gaige and Maya looked over to Moxxi who had a mischievous smile on her face.

"You… You spiked his drink with alcohol, didn't you?" Gaige asked.

"Zafords moonshine to be specific. Cheaper and works fast. Should have him knocked out for, oh at least ten hours. Now then, we need to talk." Moxxi said and all the girls leaned in closer to Gaige.

"Umm about what?" Gaige hesitantly asked.

"You know what." Abigail said in a matter of fact tone.

"Ugh, no… I don't actually. What are you guys-"

"Oh come off it Red." Susan cut her off. "You're in _love_ with Kai."

Gaige sputtered at the accusation. "Wh-WHAT! NO! Why does everyone think I have a thing for him! We're just friends, plus why would he even be interested in a nerdy girl like me!?"

"A nerdy girl who he traveled nearly one hundred kilometers for in an untested death machine, raced said death machine up the side of a fortress covered in cannons, blew a hole into the roof and fell onto a giant robot leg that was hell bent on offing you. Then proceeded to bandage you up, give you a lovely heart to heart speech, and then rip apart said Leg that was kicking your cute little ass in the most badass way possible." Moxxi pointed out. Gaige just grumbled at how everyone had been referring to her _little ass._

"And news flash, this is only one of the many times he has gone out of his way to save or help you. That kind of protection doesn't come from just being friends, whether you know it or not." Moxxi said with a grin.

"Plus there's also the time he let you sleep on his lap back on Elie's roof." Maya stated getting all of the ladies' attention as Gaige just blushed.

"T-that was an accident and we were tired!" Gaige yelled in panic as the others looked to the Siren.

"When did this happen?" Trixie asked excitedly. "I bet it was so CUTE! I wish I could have seen it." Maya pulled out her ECHO and punched in a few commands causing a hologram image to appear showing Gaige sleeping peacefully on Kai's leg. The other ladies all cooed at the pic as Gaige's face was one shade of red from melting into a pool of molten slag.

"Why the hell have you not shown us this?" Abigail asked.

"Eh, saving it for the right time... or for blackmail." Maya just shrugged.

"Oh, my Maya, who knew you had a devious streak in you." Trixie said.

"Oh, there more." Maya grinned. She then proceeded to show them the video clip of how Sal had woken them up, causing all the ladies to die laughing as Gaige buried her steaming face into her hands and muttering kill me now.

"Look it was an accident, okay! It was a one time thing." Gaige yelled after a minute of them all laughing.

"Oh, well what about when you slept at his place several nights ago." Susan asked coyly causing any will Gaige had left to crumble.

"You- you know about that?" She asked meekly.

"Oh Red, we know everything. You broke into his place for protection because you felt safe near him." Susan said in a sultry voice.

"No! I just went there because it was the only other place I knew I could crash for the night and get away from Tannis. And how do you even know about that!?" Gaige asked while trying to reel in her blush.

"Kai had called me a little after you guys left for Hollow Point. He asked if I could just slap an extra lock on his door, and told me how it happened." Susan said with a smirk.

"A little breaking and entering for a midnight rendezvous. How scandalous!" Abigail smiled. "I'm so proud of you Red."

"IT WAS NOT LIKE THAT!" Gaige yelled as everyone else laughed at her expense.

"Relax Gaige, we know you wouldn't try anything like that... Although, we do have to ask… Did you see anything you liked?" Moxxi asked. The memory of Kai in the tight T-shirt came to the forefront of her mind causing Gaige's face to light up like a neon sign. A blush that the other all easily saw. "Oh, si you did see something you liked. Care to share~?" Moxxi inquired.

"... Nooo." Gaige mumbled unconvincingly, an answer that put a feral glint in each of the barmaid's eyes.

"Oh-hohoho. What was it, his abs, pecks, butt, _his junk_?" Susan asked.

"Wha- _EW_! NO! Oh Murphy no, nothing like that!" Gaige cried out in panic as the girls laughed at her expense again. The teen just tried to bury her face in her hands to hide.

"See, you do like him." Moxxi said.

"It's not like that, okay. He just my best friend who looks out for me even when I do something stupid, or is always trying to pick up my spirits if I'm down. He always has time to try and help me get better, or berate me in that cute caring manner that I…" Gaige froze as several thoughts seemed to link together in her mind, after several seconds a realization dawned on her. "Oh shit... I'm falling in love with my best friend." Gaige said weakly as a victorious smile crossed all the others' faces.

"And the last wall of naivety has fallen." Moxxi says as Gaige grabs her beer and downs it in one go.

"Congratulations, Gaige." Trixie said. "And bonus points for going after a cute one." She teased.

"Trixie!" Gaige bemoaned as the ladies laughed at her embarrassment. The red shook her head before she looked next to her at her friend/love interest and let out a sigh. "Oh Murphy, why me… What if he doesn't return the feeling."

"Oh just relax Gaige, you've already passed the first hurdle which is accepting you have feelings for him. Now we just have to slowly walk him into that as well. Besides, we're all here to help you." Moxxi said with a sincere smile that the others shared.

"Yea… Yeah! Your right Moxxi." Gaige said as she opened another beer with her robot hand.

_**~Two hours later~** _

"Whaaaat am I looking at?" Lilith asked as she observed the scene in front of her.

"I-I don't know what to do!" Gaige cried out from the booth she had moved to while hugging her robot arm around a still passed out Rebel Vault Hunter she had dragged over like a teddy bear. Next to her on the table were five empty bottles of beer and a whiskey bottle. "I don't know what- *hiccup* what to do if he says no Moxxi! It's too embarrassing to think about! I won't- *Hiccup!* I won't be able to show him my face ever again! It's too embarrassing!" She cried out. "I'll have to move into the wastelands, change my name, become a turd farm! Oh, Almighty Robot Policeman why!?" She cried as anime tears rained down her face and onto Kai's head as she hugged his head closer into her chest. Everyone else just sweatdrops at the girl's reaction.

"Who would have thought the girl was a surly drunk." Trixie said as she continued to record the blubbering drunken blob that Gaige had digressed into with her ECHO.

"Can't say I ever did, hey Moxxi you okay?" Lilith asked as she looked to the barmaid who was throwing up again in the bar sink.

"Sorry, I'm just. Ugh. Must have been something I ate." Moxxi said.

"Here I might be able to help." Maya said as she held up a glowing hand. Taking the offer Moxxi comes around the bar and takes a seat by Maya who lets her do her Siren thing.

"So what exactly happened here?" Lilith asked, turning back to her fellow redhead.

"Gaige has finally come to the realization that she's falling in love with Kai." Susan said as she tried to pry a half full beer bottle from Gaige's robot hand who was weakly trying to hold on to it. "She then drank herself under the table to the point where she became this emotional basket case who's been questioning everything about herself and her *Ugh* confidence." She grunted as she pulled the bottle free to the Mechromancer's weak protest.

"Wait, does that mean they're dating?" Lilith asked with a hint of excitement.

Moxxi gave a labored sigh. "No, they are not dating, yet."

"Dammit! that means I'm out of the running for the bet!" Lilith cried in frustration. "So now that the one has found their interest, what about the other one."

"I have a few ideas, possibly a few _special_ missions I could ask them to do, just the two of them." Moxxi stated as Maya focused on her stomach area.

"You're getting invested in this." Lilith chuckled.

"What can I say, matchmaking is a hobby of mine." Moxxi shrugged before shooting a chesire grin at the Siren. "After all, you can't honestly believe that you and Roland's relationship was a mere happy accident… Did you?"

Lilith stared at the smirking barmaid for several seconds until she let out a chuckle. "You're as sly as they come Moxxi."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Moxxi said as Maya finished and stepped back. "Thanks, Maya I feel much better."

"Yeah, about that. That was only a patch for what was making you sick." Everyone but Gaige looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Moxxi asked with a hint of worry.

"How should I say this… You're pregnant." Maya bounty said.

Moxxi stared at Maya for several seconds. "I'm- I'm what!?"

"I sensed an extra life force in you, so either you have some kind of crazy-ass Pandoran parasite or more likely... you're pregnant… Which is basically what a baby is until it's born… And after it's born." Maya slow explained as Moxxi stared at the Siren.

"P-Pregnant?" Moxxi stuttered before looking down to her stomach and then over to Riess helmet. "Damn bastard, you just had to get the last word in." Moxxi said with a smile as tears of joy started to roll down her face as all the girls minus Gaige rushed over to begin to congratulate the happy mother to be.

X-X-X

It was a clear Pandora night out front of a Bandit outpost in the Tundra Express. Standing outside were two bandit guards standing in the frigid night.

". . . Hey."

"Yeah?"

You ever wonder why we're here?"

"It's because you decided to use the boss's Buzzard for a booty call and crashed it into his favorite brothel, and then said I was driving."

". . . Oh yeah."

"So, how long until we're done with this punishment. . . Sid?" The Bandit looks to his left and see his friend is gone, he looks around and doesn't see him anywhere. "Sid where did you go!?... This ain't funny man." The bandit kept looking around until he noticed a large splotch of blood on the ground. "What the?" That was when he heard something that turned his blood to ice.

_Ring-a-round the bandit~_

He heard the voice of a young girl slowly sing, causing the bandit to frantically look around in sudden panic.

_A pocket full of bullets~_

"FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!" The bandit yells in fearing as he begins to run away, hoping to escape the ensured doom if he stayed.

_Ashes! Ashes!~_

He kept on running as he heard the voice behind him, not daring to look back. As he took another step he heard a faint metallic *Click* as he felt his foot steps on something.

* **BOOM**!*

A fraction of a second later the bandit was thrown into the air by the explosion beneath him and was thrown twenty meters until he landed hard on his back. "Ugh, fuck." The bandit groans. "Am I too young to slip a disk?"He muttered. Before he could get up a pair of small feet landed on his chest knocking the air out of him again. He looks up to see a silhouette of a young girl against the light of Eplis, the only other detail he could see was a sinister smile on her face as she tapped against her shoulder a bent pink nine iron golf club with what looked to be rusty screws and bolts tack onto the head. She then slowly raise the club up over her head.

_The bandit falls down~_

The last thing the bandit ever saw was the girl golf swinging the club into his face.

X-X-X

_**Bonus short** _

_**Hell's Dream** _

Bear-Bear eyes opened and he did a quick once over of himself. "I'm alive? I'M ALIVE!"

"No your not, both in the normal sense or the robotic sense." Someone behind Bear-Bear said. The AI whipped around to find a human sized robot with a red cylindrical body separated into two parts at the waist by a bendable tube, a triangular head with horns, yellow eyes, and a tail with a pointed triangular tip.

"Who the fuck are you?" The hologram bear asked in a demanding tone.

"Really, I figured my appearance should be obvious. I'm the Robot Devil and you, my new friend, are in Robot Hell!" He yelled out excitedly as he gestured an arm to the hellscape of rusted skyscraper junk piles, pillars of ember filled smoke, rivers of molten metal, and the echoes of screaming robots.

Bear-Bear felt a sense of dread fill his memory buffer. "Wh- why am I here!?"

"Oh, you know why." The Robot Devil said slyly.

"Actually I don't." Bear-Bear said shaking his head.

The devil bot narrows his eyes at the AI. "Your ether really stupid or denser than a neutron star.… probably both."

"W-whatever you fucking bastard, I'm not staying here." Bear-Bear turned to leave when he was grabbed by the scruff of his neck. "Hey! Let go of me! I don't belong here!" He yelled as the Robot Devil brought the bear up to eye level.

"Oh but you do my new friend, you've helped a crazy psycho of a self-entitled bitch kill dozens of other women who she thought were after _her_ man, steal _many_ things that you shouldn't have, twenty-eight cases of friendly fire, being annoying, disrespecting your base code source."

"Wait, you're not counting all the other people I've killed?" Bear-Bear asked in confusion.

"Wars and Bandits don't count in your universe." The Robot Devil shrugged.

"Wait they don't? WAIT! My universe?... *Sigh* Will if there one silver lining, at least that damn mutt that killed me will eventually join me here."

"Not likely, so far that wolf goes he got a one-way VIP ticket to Robot Continuum with all the great work he's done."

"WHAT! That mangy mutt gets to go to the Continuum while I have to fucking rot in hell, NO FAIR!" Bear-Bear screamed.

"You had free will and you made your choice. Now then it's time you find out what your punishment will be." The Robot Devil said cheerfully.

"What, you gonna throw me in a vat of burning oil. Pull me apart, feed me to a metal grinder over and over. Leave my body locked up like this"

"HA! You wish, although I have removed your motor functions so you can't run. No, you see one of my top torture bots has been suffering from nightmares every night for the last two centuries. Something about becoming a human-like android who desires to become human, all while he travels the stars in a massive starship full of humans. It's been really throwing him off his game. So you're gonna be his new teddy bear." The Robot Devil said cheerfully.

"Oh, well that doesn't sound too fucking bad." Bear-Bear said with a tone of relief.

"HA HA HA! Prepare to be surprised. Little Benny could you come here." The Robot Devil yelled out.

At first, Bear-Bear didn't hear anything, then he heard a rumble. The sounds of something big lumbering along could be heard coming closer. After a minute of waiting a robot appeared out of some nearby shadows, the robot was massive with even larger crushing claws, its eye was a single crimson red dot that moved from side to side as it scanned the room. Bear-Bear was suddenly very nervous about his punishment. "Bear-Bear, meet Crusher Tron 9000 or as we like to call him Little Benny. Benny meet your new teddy bear, Bear-Bear!" The Robot Devil said, handing the bear to the massive robot.

"He's perfect my lord, now I have a friend at night!" The Robot said in a menacing but happy voice as he started hugging (Crushing) the little bear who screamed in pain.

"OH SHITTING FUCK BALLS IT HURTS! IT HURTS! HE CRUSHING MY SPINE! WAIT WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE A SPINE! AAAAAGH! PEASE! ANYTHING BUT THIS! FUCK! ANYTHING BUT THIS!" Bear-Bear screamed as the Robot Devil just laughed maniacally.

X-X-X

_**Bonus Short 2** _

_**Not a Word** _

BANG*

"Miss"

BANG*

"Miss."

BANG!*

"Are you sure you know how to shoot, man?" Davis asked as the Raider put down the binoculars and took a sip of his beer.

"As a man trained by a legendary Jakob's gunsmith and Vladof commando I take offense to that." Kai said as he took another shot with the Hammer Buster. Kai was outside the wall of Sanctuary on the guard station Kai was working on a few weapons.

"Hey Kai." Both men turned to see Gaige sitting up on DT shoulder again as he flew over them. Her arm was still in a sling but according to Zed, she should be able to take it off in the next day or two.

"Hey Gaige, running another battery test with DT?" Kai asked.

"Yep. Got him up to twenty-five minutes in the last one. Hopefully, we can hit thirty-five with this one. So what are you guys working on?" She asked curiously.

"I'm testing out of the weapons that we scavenged off of the Alphas." Kai replied as he unloaded the Hammer Buster.

"Anything good?" She asked.

"Well the Luck Cannon might be fixable but I'll need some materials. As for this Hammer Buster it's a total bust." Kai said with a grin.

Gaige just stared at him for several seconds. "Lame~." Gaige said as Davis laughed.

"Anyways, the inner barrel is basically stripped from use, how Dirk ever managed to hit anything with it I will never know. Everything else we found is either broken or barely holding together." Kai said as he put the Hammer Buster on the table.

What about that?" She asked, pointing to the beaten up Crazy Baby Maker on the end of the table.

"I was about to test it out right now actually." Kai said as he picked up the weapon.

He pointed downrange at a target, which was a gagged psycho midget tied to a post and wearing a dirty pink magical anime girl outfit. "So what's the story about this one?" Gaige asked, eyeing the midget wordily.

"He snuck into Sanctuary the other day while we were gone. Lilith found him lurking around the inside of the HQ." Kai replied.

"Doing what?" Gaige asked, causing Davis to suddenly start snickering like a kid who just pranked his teacher, while Kai just paused.

After a moment Kai gave a sigh as he continued to check the weapon. "The little prick name is xVx_Panty_Thief_XvX_69… He was very specific about those underscores and caps… You can guess what he was doing from that." Kai said begrudgingly with a slight blush as Davis fell off his chair laughing his ass off.

Gaige's face was unreadable as she looked from Kai to the midget and back. Then Gaige hoped down from DT's shoulder and held out her left hand. "Give me the biggest gun you got." She said without a shard of hesitation.

Kai just cocked an eyebrow at the command. "Gaige the bastard is a hundred meters away and you only have one good arm. Do you really think you will have any luck hitting that target?"

"I can hit him." Gaige retorted.

Kai and Davis glance at each other with an unconvinced expression. "Oh yeah, and how much Anarchy do you have?" Kai inquired.

". . . 42." Gaige said in defeat as Kai grinned. Kai and the others had quickly found out that Gaige had quickly developed a habit of hoarding her Anarchy stacks, even if she wasn't in combat or was just resting at home she wouldn't l release the charge. This only furthered her horrible accuracy.

"I rest my case." Kai said as he took aim with the SMG. He shot two short bursts which surprisingly hit the midget, causing him to flail in pain. Kai looked down at the gun for a few seconds before re-aimed and dumped the rest of the clip into the midget. After several seconds of flailing about for several more seconds the midget slump on the post. "Huh, out of all of all the guns they had, this is the only one that I could hit the target with."

"Kind of sad when you think about who it belongs to." Davis chipped in.

"It is." Kai agreed as he tossed it to test the reload. While Kai had never seen a Baby Maker he knew enough about the legendary weapon from his time training as a gunsmith to know that it wasn't supposed to act in such a manner he and the others were witnessing. Upon the first bounce, several miniature versions of the gun popped out of the SMG and also started bouncing around… And crying like babies. To everyone's horror, the Baby Maker kept bouncing around making two to three tiny child guns with each bounce, all the while the parent weapon was yelling out in Kare-Kare's voice. " _Dirky-kun I'm so happy! Dirky-Poo I need you! Dirky-Drik I'm horny! Harder Dirk! Harder!_ " This continued for about twenty more seconds creating at least fifty _crying_ child guns until the main gun yelled out " _DIRKY PIE I'M CUUUMMING_!" just before it exploded, causing all the other guns to explode.

Nobody on the guard platform knew what to say after the event they just unwillingly witnessed. The SMG then digistructed back into Kai's hands. " _Oooooh yeah… I love you Dirky Bear_." Kai just stared in abject horror at the gun for several seconds, until he walked over to the front edge of the platform, turned off the gun Digi-struct system and threw it with all of his might into the chasm.

After watching the accursed weapon fall Kai turned to dumbstruck Gaige and Davis. ". . . We never speak of this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rebel Anarchy Loot Guide
> 
> Note: All item statistics are based on Level 50 Weapon stats.
> 
> The Crazy Baby Maker
> 
> Manufacturer: Tediore
> 
> Weapon type: SMG
> 
> Weapon Grade: Legendary
> 
> Flavor Text: Who's a widdle gunny wunny!
> 
> Description: A modified variant of the Baby Maker SMG that is considered to be more of… an anomaly. It will act in the exact same manner as a normal Baby Maker would up until it needs reloading. While the weapon will bounce around as a normal version would, the difference is that upon each successful bounce it will deploy one to three miniature guns. The gun and child guns will detonate upon contact with the identified target or after thirty seconds, which will detonate the child guns if they haven't hit anything. During the reload the gun will mimic the voice of a teenage girl making . . . . . . . . [THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION HAS BEEN REDACTED IN ACCORDANCE WITH CRIMSON RAIDER HIGH COMMAND AS PER ORDER 00079 OH FUCK NO]
> 
> It has been stated by several eye witness accounts that this weapon had never shown such properties while in use by it's the original owner. Current whereabouts of this weapon are unknown and it is not to be pursued unless to destroy.
> 
> Appearance: Same as a normal Baby Maker, only it has several signs of neglect in the form of stains, scuffs, and paint chipping.
> 
> Stats:
> 
> Damage: 5460
> 
> Accuracy: 90.3
> 
> Fire Rate: 8.4
> 
> Reload Speed: 45.7
> 
> Magazine Size: 36
> 
> Bonus: -NONE-


	18. Boom De Yada!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Loot guide at the end of the chapter. Also, chapter 19 is currently a work in progress.

It was another quiet morning in Sanctuary as everyone was either still in bed or just getting up. Until the air raid siren started blaring and several moonshots impacted and exploded against the city's shield. " _Ooooh, my bad Sanctuary_." Handsome Jack's voice said over an open ECHO channel that everyone in town could hear. _"I accidentally hit the moonshot control instead of the button to call my private masseuse call button. Honestly, I keep getting them mixed up. By the way, my masseuse, she's this super hot exotic swimsuit model from Aquator. That babe got legs that goes for miles! This just goes to show how much better I am then you pathetic losers. Later~!_ "

Kai was in his apartment finishing some work on his Fast Talker SMG when it happened. The teen just shook his head and gave an annoyed sigh. "God, I can't wait to kill that guy." Hati who was on the ground in front of the coffee table with the TV remote in his mouth gave a few muffled barks. "That program only works if he makes a direct connection to my ECHO." Kai said before taking another sip of coffee.

There was a thud above them that Kai didn't even flinch at while Hati gave another muffled bark at. "Yeah that her. Must have fallen out of the bed again. Seriously that girl could pass as a zombie extra from the Walking Corpses if we kept any caffeine out of her reach." Which earned a snort from Hati.

Several minutes later a redhead zombie dressed in a black neo heavy metal t-shirt and red sweat pants with a pair of purple toe socks lumbered down the stairs as she meandered to the sofa where Kai handed her a waiting cup of coffee. She took it and mumbled a thank you before taking a slow sip. It had been about a week and a half since their adventure in Hollow Point and since that time Gaige had moved in with him… To avoid her.

_ **-FLASHBACK-** _

Gaige had finally got back to her room after a long day of dealing with hundreds of Psychos, Bandits, and marauders. She sat down on her bed and fell back to think about all of the crazy things that happened that day. While she wanted to go get a shower she just was too tired and wanted to sleep. So with a sigh, she closed her eyes to let her body start drifting off.

*hhhh-haaaa. . . hhhh-haaaa.*

Gaige's eyes shot open as she heard the sound of muted breathing. Breathing that wasn't her own. Breathing of someone unknown. The breathing of someone in her room! Slowly she got off the bed and looked around, there was no place to really hide, plus the small closest was wide open and she could see into it. Then a thought occurred as to where someone could hide in her room. With fear growing in the pit of her stomach Gaige got down on her hands and knees and looked under her bed. She didn't see anything but several toolboxes, lost socks, and a rusty Bandit SMG, but she could still hear the breathing. She grabbed one toolbox and slid it to the left to reveal. . . Tanis. "Umm, hello." Tanis said with a wave of her hand and a nervous smile.

Gaige stared at the crazy women for several seconds with a blank face before slowly moving the toolbox back into place.

\- Ten minutes later -

Kai and Hati were on their sofa watching TV just trying to relax the Pandora way after a long day of bloody violence… By watching more bloody violence.

" _It time for Mr. Genki's Murder Time Fun Time! Our first contestant tonight is Yamzy Williker of Cetuory Four. He is a waste disposal repairman who is looking to win enough money for a new… Well, I can't say that on-air without getting canned but let's just say life improvement surgery!"_ The guy who was participating looked to be mid-thirties and looked to be in need of a good sandwich with how much of a twig he was.

Hati gave a few barks. "That a fools bet and you know it." Kai said as he worked on his Fast Talker.

*Woof*

Kai paused and looked at the TV then the wolf. ". . . You know what, your on, ten bucks."

Before they could settle the bet they both jumped when a loud *BANG* alerted them to their front door being knocked in again. Standing in the doorway was a pissed off Gaige who appeared to be carrying all of her stuff in several bags with DT behind her holding another bag in one arm with his right fist stretched forward. Gaige proceeded to walk into the apartment and dropped her stuff on the floor. "MOVE OVER DOG BREATH, I'M MOVING IN!" She yelled.

_**-END OF FLASHBACK-** _

"So what's this about?" Gaige motioned to the TV which was showing a breaking news story.

"Oh, it just some news story about this fleet of ships from a long lost colony that thought they were the last survivors of the human race after their own robotic creations rebelled and went all murder happy with nukes and genocide. Said fleet, using a crude, but unique type of FTL travel had been trying to find their way back to Earth or as they call it the thirteenth tribe for the last several years while trying to outrun the chrome-plated murder bots. Then apparently a fraction of the robots found _God_ and then decided to help their former Creator's/enemy to defeat the genocide happy faction. Now though, they stumbled into the Zambia system and are all facing the fact they are not the only humans left."

Gaige stared at the screen for several seconds. "Sounds like a script pitch for a cheesy sci-fi TV show that will go strong for the first two or three seasons before its viewership starts to drop. Of course, because of that drop, the network will probably decide to cut it a few seasons earlier then the writers had planned so they'll have to slap together an ending that fails to meet fan expectations if it doesn't outright anger them."

She took a sip of her coffee before continuing. "Although the fan base will still be big enough that some studio will try to pick it up and make one or even two reboots or spin-off series later on down the road."

"That… sounds so crazy it has to be true… in some alternate universe." Kai said as he leaned back and stretched which caused the fabric of his shirt to tighten around his body, to which Gaige stole a glance at. 'Why brain do you have to go south so early?' Gaige thought as her cheeks heated up.

Since the intervention with Moxxi and the girls, Gaige had become much more aware of Kai. Especially since she started living with him. Sometimes found herself staring at him when they were in the same room from time to time. Especially if he had on a T-shirt… Or no shirt on the off occasion when he was working on something. Lucky for her, he never noticed. Although, Gaige was positive that Hati knew about her growing feeling if his occasional snicker was any clue.

The other issue was all the missions they were going on together. Over two weeks and several more crazy adventures including raiding the Bloodshots dam again for a job and killing a cult and finding a new home for a Loader Bots AI core. Other than that the two had settled into doing jobs every other day. While the missions themselves were mostly not bad, Gaige did notice what Moxxi had pointed out. Even with her own Mythic shield now and a New-U account, Kai would still go out of his way to make sure she was safe. Not overprotective parents safe, but if she got a little too ambitious or wasn't paying attention to her surroundings he would step in or even if he put himself in the line of danger. He had even at one point threw her out of the way of a rocket that nearly blasted him off the Bloodshot dam.

Gaige had berated him for such actions since he didn't have a New-U account if he got hurt, but she did secretly appreciate the action… Not that she would ever tell the cute bastard that. 'Dammit brain.' Gaige thought as she mentally face-palmed herself for that last thought.

To Gaige's relief both of their ECHOs go off as each teen answers their own.

"Kai here."

"You've reached Gaige."

"A new mission."

"Roland's got a job?"

"I'll be there in ten."

"I'm at Kai place... Ugh because I moved in." Gaige immediately pulled the ECHO from her ear as the sounds of rabid screaming could be heard for several seconds before she hung up.

"I'm guessing Axton didn't know?" Kai asked with a chuckle.

"Egh, must have slipped my mind." Gaige shrugged. "So do we have time for breakfast?" As if on cue the refrigerator started shaking violently as animalistic screeches could be heard. Gaige looked to Kai who didn't even look phased by it.

"Soooo… Burritos at Moxxi's again?" Kai asked as Gaige just sighed.

Twenty minutes later the two teens reached the HQ with some of Moxxi's breakfast burritos in hand and went up to the war room where all of the other Vault Hunters were waiting… Including a pissed off Axton. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING WITH HIM!" Axton shouted at Gaige as he pointed at Kai with a look of uncontained rage.

"Umm, what's it been now, four days?" Gaige asked before taking a bite of her Rakk meat burrito.

"Six." Kai corrected who was boredly munching on his own burrito.

"Rally? Mh, wen tine flis I guss." Gaige said with a full mouth of food.

"You're living with a boy all alone!" Axton raged.

Gaige swallowed and looked at the man, seemingly unfazed by his anger. "I'm not alone, I got DT. Plus it beats staying here with the crazy thief slash creepy stalker who wants to steal my robot arm and dissect DT." Gaige stated as she thumbed back out to the hallway behind her. Everyone but Gaige looked behind her to see Tanis standing in a dark doorway before she seemed to silently glide back into the darkness.

"Not gonna lie, that was both scary and cool as fuck." Salvador said.

"You think that's scary, try having to worry about her pulling your hair out so that she can taste it!" Maya exclaimed.

Axton looked back to the teens. "Alright fine, I'll give you that one, but you should have consulted with us before you move out."

"And as I've said over a hundred times now, you're not my father. If anything, Sal or Zer0 would be the father in this group."

"What!?" Axton sputtered in shock.

"Awww, I would love to have a pequeña niña bonita like you Gaige. So adorable and trigger happy." Sal cooed in a joking manner while a smile emote appeared on Zer0's face.

"Yeah, and Maya the mom." Gaige pointed out, to which the siren looked to the grinning Gunzerker and blank-faced Zer0.

"Zer0, maaaaybe, but I ain't ever kissing shorty here." Maya replied.

"HEY!" Sal yelled in mock offense.

"Krieg is the cool, but crazy uncle." Gaige continued

" _ **Aww, I would love a nice niece like her**_."

"Red makes brain warm and toasty." Krieg said with a twinkle in his single eye.

Axton looks at everyone and then back to Gaige. "So then what am I?"

"My step-cousin… twice removed."

"Step cousin!?" Axton said.

"What about me?" Kai asked.

Not missing a beat the girl looked to him with a grin. "BFF and best roomie, duh." Gaige said as Kai just chuckled.

"Eh-em" Everyone turned to find Roland standing by the holo table at the center of the room with Lilith behind him leaning against the wall that led to the balcony. "While as amusing as this is, we're here for a reason people." Roland said. At this everyone brought their attention to the veteran Vault Hunter. The lights in the room faded as the holo table lit up and showed a topographic map of their region of Pandora.

"Now then, we've recently gotten a report from one of our spies in Tundra Express that a Hyperion armored train from a research base will be moving the Vault Key in several days. To where we don't know, but the train will have to cross through the Express before it makes it to the mainline where it can switch to one of a dozen different routes. Your job is to help our demolition expert set up whatever she needs to stop the train, then you will move in and secure the Vault Key. Any questions?" Roland asked.

"Why would Hyperion move the key now?" Maya asked.

"As Tannis might've told you the key needs to be charged with Eridium. Which we believe Jack has been developing a way to directly infuse into the Key in order to speed the process since normally the key takes 300 years to charge... We're racing against time people, every ounce of that stuff Jack mines from the ground puts him closer to taking control of that warrior and wiping us out. We've gotta get our hands on the vault key before he both can charge it and find the Vault. Now, if anybody knows when that train will be coming, it's my spy out in Tundra Express. He's as good at gathering intel as he is at drinking." Roland stated… although begrudgingly. "So I'm sure he's sleeping off last night's booze right now, you all will need to get some fire weapons to wake him up. I'll explain why when you get out there."

"Oh if this is who I think it is then we're not gonna need them. Kai said with a grin.

"Either way, the area is full of bandit gangs and wildlife, so a fire weapon isn't a bad idea. arm up and move out." Roland commanded.

X-X-X

It took them an hour and a half to reach the Tundra Express. The Vault Hunters took a moment to take in the massive expanse of rocky outcroppings, wide snow-covered grounds, distant bandit camps, and a large mountain-like rock formation in the center with an odd structure at the top.

"Woah." Gaige said as she took it all in.

"It still amazes me how such a dangerous planet can sometimes still be majestic at times." Kai said.

"So where do we go from here?"Axton asked as everyone looked to Kai.

"I don't know." Kai shrugged. "I've never been here before."

"I got it." Sal said as he pulled out his ECHO and called Roland. "Hey boss, we're here. What now?"

" _Excellent, now, you'll have to signal our man."_ Roland said over the ECHO _. "I'd bet anything he's sleeping off a hangover, so you'll have to wake him up. The sound of some Varkids burning alive at the same time oughta do it. You all got fire weapons, right?_ "

There were several replies as everyone but Kai pulled out fire weapons. He just walked over near the mouth of the skull.

" _Good. Now the Varkids won't make that screechin' noise unless you burn them. You've got to set the Varkids on fire to wake our_ -"

Everyone suddenly covered their ears as Kai let out an ear-piercing whistle that reverberated access the tundra. "KAI! What the fuck are you trying to do, deafen us!?" Gaige shouted.

"Aww suck it up. The ringing will go away in a minute… Probably."

"Soooo, why did you blast our eardrums." Maya asked.

"Just wait for it."

It was quiet for several more seconds until Axton spoke up. "Kai, I don't know what you're doing but this is wasting-"

"I said wait for-" Kai was interrupted suddenly by a far off bird screech, a second later it was followed by a yell of pain that echoed across the tundra.

"BLOOD! Qué demonios chica!?" Echoed over the tundra.

"Ah, there it is." Kai said cheerfully.

Roland just let out a sigh. " _I don't even want to know. Alright_ , _I'll just leave you all to it. Roland out._ "

With a cheeky grin Kai whipped out his ECHO and punched in a contact. "Heeeey Morde, rise and shine you drunken bastard."

" _FUCK YOU MAN! Why the hell did you teach Bloodwing how to do that!_ " Mordecai screamed over the ECHO.

"I didn't teach her anything." Kai denied. "It was Hati who taught her that one and then told me what to do." He replied with a grin.

"Damn bastard." Mordecai muttered.

"Love you to birdman. So what was there a reason for you being blackout on top of a fucking mountain… Again?" Kai asked.

" _I mighta celebrated a little too hard last night after Bloodwing and I raided a Hyperion convoy. Ain't that right, Blood?"_ Morde asked, earning a loud shriek from Bloodwing." " _Anyways what are you guys doing here?_ "

"Roland told us to call you when we got here. Something about you knowing where and when the Vault key would appear and have us meet someone who can help us." Axton said.

" _Right, right. I'll give you guys the full rundown once you're in Tina's workshop, just follow my directions and I'll guide you guys through the minefield_."

"Minefield? Why would you have a minefield out here?" Maya asked.

"ATTACK!" They all heard someone yell. The gang turned to see a group of about a dozen or so psychos, psycho midgets, and a single psycho badass all came out of a ravine about two hundred meters from the group and charged towards the mountain with psychotic glee. However, the lead midget must have triggered one of the mines as it and a dozen bouncing Betty type mines flew out of the ground and exploded all around them. When the smoke cleared only one psycho was alive if barely considering all the blood, burns and the odd way his neck was twisted were any indication. At that moment several adult varkids flew down and started eating the now screaming psycho to the Vault Hunters mixed surprise and horror.

" _That's why._ " Mordecai said without a hint of worry.

"Morde, just how crazy is this Tina person?" Kai asked. As if the universe was fucking with them, a massive explosion erupted two hundred meters into the air of to the left side of the mountain. From the ash cloud they could see dozens of Paycho's and Bandits falling.

" _I give you exhibit A_." Mordecai said as the other picked themselves up from the ground after ducking for cover.

Kai?" Gaige asked as they gawked at the mushroom cloud.

"Yea Gaige?" Kai answered as he also stared.

"It's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?"

*Sigh* "Yep." Kai replied.

After that, it took the team a good twenty minutes to navigate the minefield with Mordecai's help. " _Sorry about that Vault Hunters, we had to install the minefield recently because the bandit gangs were starting to get a little rowdier than usual… It was Tina's idea_."

"Honestly if this is what this bomb maker calls normal, I don't think I want to meet them." Sal stated as he glanced at a nearby Crimson Lance mine that was as big as Krieg. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I like blowing things up as much as the next guy, but even I have safety limits."

" _I know Tina can be…odd, but she's the most gifted demolitions expert on Pandora. Just do what she asks, and I guarantee she'll help you hijack the train and get the vault key. Now, I have some other matters to attend to so I'll leave you all to it_." Roland said over the line as the Vault Hunter reached a massive reinforced blast door.

"Well how the fuck do we get inside because I don't see a doorbell." Axton said jokingly.

Sal walked over and began pounding the door several times with the butt of his shotgun. "HELLOOoooOOO! Anyone home! We're Vault Hunters and we're bored!"

"Sal, that a metal blast door, I doubt anyone will hear you yelling thro-." Maya started to say before the door suddenly began to rumble slowly started to rise up.

" _Come on iiii-iiin~. You're missin' the fun!"_ Came the voice of a child over the ECHO. Everyone looked at each other with a look of confusion as none of them had ever seen or heard of a kid on Pandora outside of the walls of one of the major settlements.

Finally, after several more seconds, the door opened up all the way with a heavy metal clank indicating it had finished, and signaling the Vault Hunters to enter. They all entered the cave only to stop seconds later at the sight before them. The cavern was massive, with the entire area dotted with random supply crates and barrels, most of which were marked with fire and explosive hazard symbols. On the roof of the cave were dozens of old heavy Crimson Lance anti-ship mines that were all wedged into the rock. In a far corner was the odd sight of a quaint little house built into the rock and a garage to the right of it. Finally, at the center of the cave was what looked like an old heavy retractable circular warn steel blast door in the floor.

However, the sight that had all of the Vault Hunter's attention was a single psycho struggling was tied to a post, with several sticks of dynamite strapped to his hands. Dancing around the Psycho was a little blonde-haired girl who looked to be no more than thirteen. "All around the Sta-actus plant, the stalker chased the bandit~. The stalker thought 'twas all in fun~. POP!" The girl gleefully screamed as she jumped on a TNT plunger, triggering the TNT and blasting the Psycho into a hundred pieces.

"Goes the bandit!" The girl finishes before hopping down and turning around, spotting the observing Vault Hunters. "Oh haiiii!"

Gaige looked over the little girl, and what she saw was… interesting. The girl was a haphazard mismatch of clothes and items including a short pink and brown apron dress with a white rabbit doll head on the skirt part. Below that she had on a pair of orange and brown shorts that came down to her knees, with mismatched socks with a white one on the right with pink rings on the right and pink knee-high sock on the left foot. Her hair was a short unkempt straw blond with pink ribbons tied on the bangs of both sides of her face. Finally sitting on the left side of her head was a battered bandit mask, which seemed to fit the girl's crazy look that could be seen in her blue eyes.

"Roland told me you were comin', I still owe him for all that buttcrap with General Rancid." She said cheerfully as she twirled around and started walking further into the cavern. "So, you guys gotta hijack a train, hunh? Chiiiilds play! Lemme introduce you all to my-"

"Cristina?" Kai asked, causing the girl to freeze in her tracks. The Vault Hunters confusingly looked between the two as Kai looked like he was staring at a ghost while Tina was quiet. "Cristina… is it really you?"

Before anyone could ask what was going on the little bomb maker whipped around and pulled out a pink Tediore rocket launcher with a bunny painted on it and had it aim at the group. "WHO THE MOTHA HUMPING HELL ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT ACURSED NAME!? No one but my parents knew that name, which means you must be a Hyperion spies, here to take me from my home, steal my bombs, and force me to eat fresh organically grown broccoli for all my meals!"

". . . What?" Kai asked.

"I SAID TALK!" Tina yelled.

"Woah, Tina what the hell are you doing?" Mordecai asked as he walked over from a nearby door that looked like it led to the lookout on top of the mountain.

"Morde! We have a spy in the base! Eliminate the spy!" She screamed

Mordecai looked at Kai for a few seconds before turning back to the bomb maker. "Tina this guy is the last man I'd suspect as a Hyperion spy." Mordecai said as he pointed to Kai.

"Dammit, Morde!" Tina yelled at the sniper. As Tina was distracted, Kai slowly pulled out his photon sphere. "He's a spy I tell you! He knows things that one but me knows. So make with the shotty shotty and kill this-"

Kai suddenly dropped the Photon sphere between them where it lite up in a blinding blue flash. A second later Hati formed and landed on the ground in front of Kai ready to attack, only the wolf stopped when he realized that Mordecai was there and a kid with a Rocket Launcher. Hati looked around and turned to Kai. Woof woof (what the fuck did you do this time?)

"Later man, I need you to execute now."

Hati suddenly turned on Kai with a sudden growl of anger and a malice glare in his eyes.

"I know I swore, but this is one of those "violence is not an option so make peace at all cost moments" and that feature is the only thing that can possibly work right now! I'll pay you back later buddy but please just do the thing."

Hati just groaned before giving a huff. He turned to Tina who was eyeing the wolf with equal caution as she did with Kai. Hati just let out another sigh before his whole form flashed everyone with a bright light. When it faded Hati's normal body was replaced by. . .

. . .

. . .

an adorable fluffy little wolf pup which let out an illegally cute little whine of discontent.

". . . Kai, what the fuck?" Axton asked while Gaige and Maya were squealing on the inside of their minds. 'SO CUTE!' They thought together. Zer0 for some reason seemed to twitch at the sight of Hati's new form.

The target in question however just stared at the wolf pup for several seconds… And several more seconds. . . And several mo-

*VVVOOOM!* "OH MY GOSH YOUR SO CUTE AND _**FLUFFY!**_ " Tina screamed as she was now hugging the pup and twirling him around in happiness.

Kai let out a sigh and dropped his arms. "Thank God. Now Tina do-" before he could continue he found the rocket launcher shoved right back into his face.

"I'm still not done with you, spy!" Tina yelled. Hati began to snicker at Kai's situation only to receive a glare from the rebel.

"Oh come on!" He looked back at the girl. "Look, Tina I'm not a spy."

"Then how do you know that name, huh? SPILL IT BITCH!" Tina yelled.

Kai let out a sigh and looked directly into Tina's eyes. "Simple… Because I'm your cousin."

Everyone there just stared at Kai in shock as Tina looked at him with a look of disbelief. "I-if that's true… then prove it! All you've done is talk with your silver tongue that you're trying to hypnotize me with even now! What proof do you have, spy!"

Gaige watches as Kai slowly puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out the small tin where he keeps his photos. He shuffled through several photos till he pulled out a single old photo, which he stared at for several moments with a look of remembrance as long ago memories flooded his mind. He slowly held out the photo so that Tina could see it. Tina looked down at the photo and stared at it, after several seconds her face slowly began to morph from anger to shook. She dropped both Hati (with a surprised yelp) and the rocket launcher to the ground and gingerly took the photo from Kai's hand as if it was a fragile piece of crystal, never taking her eyes off of it. Gaige moved over a little closer to see the photo, it contained several people and a pair of small kids. There were two men and two women who looked almost identical apart from how their hairstyle's and how they were dressed. Standing by the one couple was a younger Kai who looked to be eight to nine years old. The women in the other couple had a small blond haired girl in a pink dress who looked to be four or five sitting on her lap hugging white rabbit doll. Both women and the kids had the same blue eyes.

Tina stared at this couple as Kai slowly moved next to Tina. "Mo- Mommy? Daddy?" Tina choked out as tears started to pool in the corners of her eyes.

Kai knelt down to his knee closer to Tina and pointed to the two women in the picture. "See those are our moms, that's your mom, Linn or auntie Linn to me, and that my mom or auntie Linda to you. They were twin sisters, remember. You used to get them mixed up all the time, and would call them Lin-Lin when they were in the same room with you." Kai chuckled lightly as Tina continued to stare. "You'd even call me big brother all the time since you thought we came from the same mommy." Kai said as a single tear rolled down Tina's cheek.

"This picture was the last time we were all together as a- a family." Kai choked out with a hint of sadness in his voice. "We had a picnic in the park near your home that day… We played tag and hide and seek all afternoon. D- Dad and Uncle Matt had to rescue you from a tree that you had climbed up to hide in. Uncle Matt… Your dad wasn't mad and just kept saying how you were his clever little girl for figuring out how to climb such a big tree at such a young age."

*SNIFF* "Daddy… Mommy…" She turned to Kai. "B-Big brother..." Without warning the little bomb makers floodgates open as she began to wail in anguish. Kai moved in and gave the crying bomb maker a comforting hug as she quickly wraps her arms around him with her face buried into the crock of his neck.

"It's okay Tina, your big brother is here." Kai said with tears rolling down his own cheeks. "Your family is here."

X-X-X

It took almost an hour for the little bomb maker to claim down. Soon after which she fell asleep, still hugging Kai as they had taken to sitting on an old sofa in Tina's tiny house with everyone else… Almost everyone, Krieg couldn't even get his head and shoulders through the door so he sat by an open window. Gaige had taken the spot to Kai's left side while everyone else either leaned against the wall or sat in whatever small stools they could find.

Mordecai was looking at the photo they finally got out of Tina's hand. "So you're really her cousin then… guess it explains why the fuck her eyes glow like a cat in the dark." He said before handing it back to Kai. "Used to freak me the fuck out."

"How did you guys get separated?" Maya asked.

"Her dad was the chief engineer on Anchorage Four, my aunt Linn had taken a job as demolition officer for a small space mining company that worked out of the same station a month before Hyperion forced their way into the system. They had taken Tina with her since Auntie Linn's contract would last a year and they didn't want to burden my parents with watching her. The last thing I heard after that was that a riot had broken out on the station about nine months after the occupation had started, killing seven Hyperion officers and wounding several more. The next day Hyperion abandoned the station and blew it up with a fifty megaton nuke that lit up the night sky… I was outside playing with my friends Tobias, and Jenny when it happened." Kai said as he patted Tina's head. "I'm honestly shocked that she's even alive. As far as I knew no one had even left the station after Hyperion moved in… How long has she been here, we're there any other people with her?" He asked Mordecai.

"It was about six years ago now when we found her. Me, Roland, and Brick had finished a job out in Grubville when we came across her walking along the side of the road about twenty kilometers from Lockout. She was sunburned, bruised, dirty severely dehydrated and looked as if she hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. All of her cloth were basically tattered rags and all she had on her was a stuffed bunny doll… and two basic un-modded grenades. *Sigh* The first thing she asked was ``where's my mommy and daddy."

Kai was extremely quiet but everyone could feel his tension and apprehension as he asked the next question. "... What happened?"

"As far as we know she and her parents had been jumping from system to system with a caravan of refugees. They landed at an old backwater spaceport here to resupply but someone sold them out and Hyperion captured the group… Sent them to a lab to run slag experiments on them." The tension seems to double as Kai gritted his teeth in sheer rage that was only just being put in check by Tina still sleeping by him. Gaige slowly took his free hand into her own to try and calm him down. Kai looked to his friend and saw the worried look on her face. Kai slowly calmed and nodded thanks to Gaige before he looked back to Mordecai and motioned him to continue.

"From what Tina would tell us her parents somehow managed to make a distraction that allowed her and only her to escape the lab. She had been out in the waste for nearly two Pandoran days before we stumbled upon her. We checked around several Hyperion labs for any other possible escapees but she was the only one we found."

It was quiet for several moments until a quiet voice spoke up. "It was the last time I saw them." Kai looked down to see Tina slowly stir. I had almost forgotten their faces until you showed me that photo. Tina said looking at the photo. She moved to hand it back to Kai who gently pushed it back.

"Keep it, I have other photos of my parents… That… That's the only picture I have of yours." Kai said with a remorseful smile.

"Thank you… Big brother." Tina mumbled with a smile.

"Of course... little sister." Kai said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and drew her close.

"So I'm just curious about one thing." Axton asked. "What's her deal with the name Christina?"

* **BANG! BING!** *

Axton slowly turned his head to look at the new bullet hole that had appeared in the wall next to his head. He and everyone else then looked back to Tina who had a Jakobs revolver pointed at him. "This goes for everyone here, utter that ungodly name ever again I will not hesitate to shoot you in the dick or lower lip, shove a live grenade up your ass and then feed your ass to a pack of Badass varkids before remotely detonating that grenade… UNDERSTAND LOSERS!" Everyone nodded immediately as Kai let out a small chuckle.

"Allow me to elaborate a little. That name was given to Tina by her grandma on her dad's side. She was this bitter old witch of a woman who hated Tina's mom like a psycho hates soap and vice versa. So after Tina was born the old wench somehow managed to get the birth certificate documents while my Aunt and Uncle were staying with Tina for the first hour. Auntie Linn had another name picked out, I think it was Harlow or something. However Tina's grandma put her own name in place, to act as a reminder of her to auntie Linn even after she dies. A sort of fu- ugh messed up middle finger." Kai quickly explained.

"I think you meant to say, as a sort of fuck you." Tina said surprising Kai.

Kai gave Mordaci a death glare. "Kai, you saw her blow up a tied upPsycho with TNT less than two hours ago while singing a Pandoran version of _Ring around the Rosie_. Don't you really think a few swear words are the least of your concerns?" Mordecai deadpanned, making Kai look at Tina with a slight hint of concern before moving on.

"As it so happened, Polaris has this odd little law that prevents any kind of name changes to a person first name until said person turns eighteen, so she was stuck with it, however nicknames based off of the name could be used in official documents, plus the old bat hated the nickname Tina as she believe it was uncultured. So we managed to turn it into a reverse middle finger situation. HA, the icing on the cake was that Tina hates her full name as well because it reminds her of the old hag. Tina would complain to me that the witch would always pinch her cheeks too hard, trying to teach her how to be more ladylike, taking her to boring ballet shows, and force-fed her homemade vinegar pickled brussel sprout spinach pie."

Everyone visibly blanched at the thought of such a dish as Tina gagged at the reminder. "Kaaaaiii! Why would you remind me of that crap!"

"Because may I remind you you once tricked me into eating that stuff. You said it was a key lime pie… I couldn't taste anything but that pie for a week." He said as he narrowed his eyes at the girl.

"Oh yeah. HA, that was funny. OW! OW! OW! OW!" Tina yelled as Kai gave her a playful nuggie.

"Anyway luckily for us the old witch got what was coming when her walking cane broke during one of her nature walks, causing her to fall into a ten-meter deep hole that turned out to be part of a rabid viper moles colony, which was later filled with four hundred kiloliters of molten metal slag as part of extermination since they were a recently introduced invasive species." Everyone but Tina just stared at Kai in disbelief.

"That the stupidest load of skag shit I have ever heard." Sal said.

"Hey, it's true. I still have an ECHO video of it saved! Here just look." Kai whipped out his ECHO and played the video which sure enough showed a grouchy old lady falling into a hole where the sounds of panic screaming could be heard along with numerous animals. Then after a minute a heavy tanker truck rolled up and started filling the hole with red hot glowing molten metal slag.

Everyone stared in shock and disbelief at the screen for several seconds. "Why do you have a video of that?" Zer0 asked, earning several more shocked expressions from the group for the out of character response.

"Ah, music to my ears." Tina said happily before turning to Kai. "I want a copy of that video so that I may fall asleep to it at night, dear brother."

Kai looked at Tina with a bit of worry. "You're a little more twisted than I remember Tina."

"Pandora will do that to a kid." Mordecai said.

Kai looked to Tina then back. "Is she that crazy?"

"Why do you think she lives out here in the middle of a frozen wasteland in a cave and blows bandits up for fun?" Kai paled slightly at the thought as Sal just laughed.

"She sounds like a Pandoran to me."

"Moving on, Mordecai, what's the situation on the Vault key?" Axton asked.

"So far we know that a train will be coming through the Tundra on the L four line that just happens to be about two klicks from here. There's a rail bridge that is the perfect spot for a derailment, the only problem is-"

"Some motha hampas from the Buzzard academy managed to steal my girls bodonkadonks." Tina interrupted. Everyone stared in confusion as Mordecai just sighed."It probably better if you just show them Tina."

"Hmmmm, OKAY! Follow me badasses!"

They all came out to Tina's workshop outside the house and followed the girl to a nearby gerage. "Lemme introduce you all to my ladies." Tina said as she opened the door revealing a workshop loaded with parts, explosives, wires, everything one would need to build multiple bombs. There was also a bed on one side and at the back of the workshop was a shelf with two white bunny dolls on it that Tina ran up to. "This here's Mushy Snugglebites, and this is Felicia Sexopants. These fiiiine-ass womens could stop that train for yas, but I'ma need their badonkadonks first, and they got stolen by the bandits a few days ago."

"I'm guessing she means explosives of some kind." Maya asked.

"Actually those are the explosives." Mordecai said making Maya raise an eyebrow in surprise. "You guys will be retrieving a pair of missiles that Tina will be attaching the explosives to. The problem is, the bandits took them to the Buzzard academy across the Varkid gorge, and as the name states they maintain."

"Oh great, infantry and air support! Is it Tuesday already?" Kai asked.

"Oh it will be fine my dear brother. Those morons from Buzzard academy may have a clever idea every once in a shag ah del, but these suckabutts couldn't hit the broadside of Rakk Hive's ass with a shotgun." Tina said as she bounced on her feet. "Now get out there and get me my Badonkadonks… Oh and do me a flavor and KILL ALL THOSE MOTHA HUMPA'S!... Nap time!" Before anyone could say anything Tina threw herself onto the bed and started snoring in a cute manner.

Everyone turned to Kai who stood there for several seconds until he turned to them. "Soooo… Who wants to go destroy a heavily armed bandit camp?"

X-X-X

The Vault Hunters were standing outside of the bandit camp which looked more like a small fortress. "So, any ideas as to how we're getting inside of this one?" Sal asked.

"LETS BIG WHEEL THE RAMPART OF RUST WITH THE STAINLESS STEEL MOUNT OF NUCLEAR FIRE, JUST LIKE 1955!" Krieg yelled.

"Dude, where the fuck are we suppose to get a DeLoreon for that in this day and age, plus I don't think it would even have enough power to get through the door." Kai said causing Krieg's excitement to deflate.

"Damn, and here I had hoped you would murder my enemies with a sweet ass ride." Krieg's 1340 Shotgun said.

The group gawked at the weapon for several. "Is anyone else still weirded out by that thing?" Sal asked, getting several nods of agreement.

" _Don't worry my homies. Tina's got you covered. Big bro, check your inventory, I left you a present_!"

Kai opened his inventory and scrolled through it until he came to a single item that was out of place. "Tina when the hell did you put this in?"

" _Who cares, just do it! DO IT, DO IT, DOOOO-OOO IT_!"

Kai proceeded to pull out a square-shaped device. Looking over it he saw that it was covered with multiple containers of unknown liquids, TNT clusters, an ancient Claymore mine, and several sticks of C44 explosive all wired to an ECHO device. "Wait? Isn't that the Tediore ECHO-2, that just came out last week… How do you even have one and why are you using it as a detonator?"

" _No time to explain, set it on the door, then run like a motherhumpa caught by the Navy Seal husband after a bad day at work!_ "

"HA, sound like my third week at boot camp." Axton commented as Kai walked over and placed the bomb on the gate. As soon as it locked onto the door, the ECHO device lit up and a hologram countdown time appeared… With only ten seconds.

"Oh shit! RUN!" Kai yelled as the Vault Hunters all scrambled to get to cover. They all managed to find a rock or ditch to jump behind when the bomb went off, a cloud of dust blasted past the Vault Hunter sending shrapnel everywhere. When it died down, the Vault Hunter looked and were shocked by the results of the explosion. The door was still intact with nothing more than a large dent. The surrounding wall, however, was completely obliterated. On both sides, there was a ten-meter gap and craters, inside the camp were a dozen different body parts from bandits that were caught by the blast. further in, were a dozen more bandits staring back in shock.

" _BOOM DE YADA BITCHES!"_ Tina yelled in excitement.

"HOLY SHIT!" Everyone exclaimed.

" _Weeeell… DON'T JUST STAND THERE! BLOW THOSE MONDO BUTT HEADS TO CONFETTI!_ " Tina yelled.

"YOU HEARD THE BOOM GODDESS, WE MUST SAVE THE PRINCESSES FROM THE KOOPA KING!" Krieg yelled as he charged towards the gate.

Everyone ran in after Krieg and quickly started fighting with the Psychos and Bandits. "Map reads that our objectives are in two separate spots. One is down that alley past that Goliath, the other is upon that cliff house past that landing pad." Axton yelled as he pointed between the two areas, after taking an assessment of the situation.

"Gaige and I will take the low road with Krieg while you and the rest take the upper section. You guys are better equipped for dealing with the Buzzers." Kai told Axton.

"Agreed. Once you get your Missile, get the hell out of here, I don't want to deal with Bandits and Buzzards longer than necessary."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Kai said before turning to Gaige who was shooting a Bandit dead with an incendiary RokSalt shotgun. "Gaige, come on!" Kai yelled as he moved by her.

Krieg was going to town on the Bandits below a metal bridge between two buildings. He turned and fired several shots from 1340 into a pair of Psychos blowing one's head clean off while blasting off the arm of the other. "Target on left!" 1340 said. Krieg glanced and saw a suicided Psycho running at him with a pair of grenades in hand. Krieg turned and kicked the psycho in the chest, knocking him back several meters. Krieg pulled out his buzz axe and threw it at the Psycho, impaling the man in the chest. "Nice one, boss."

"Thanks tiny man in my gun." Krieg said before he turned and shot another bandit with two quick shots.

"Krieg, come on man, we got an objective to find." Kai yelled as he rushed by before something jumped down from above and landed with a thunderous thud, causing Kai to slip and fall as he stopped. Kai looked up to see the looming form of a Goliath standing above him getting ready to stomp.

"Hold still." The Goliath yelled in a happy tone. "Oh shit." Kai yelled. Before the Goliath could squash Kai's head like a melon a strong arm suddenly grabbed his jacket collar and pulled him back before the foot impacted. Kai looked up to see Krieg holding him in the air. Krieg set Kai down on his feet and pulled out his axe and stared down Goliath as Gaige ran up to Kai.

"Murder buddy, go find little Snugglebites orgy pole." Krieg said. "I'll handle the Koopa king." He said with a twirl of his axe.

Kai just stared at the friendly Psycho. "Did you just make a joke?"

"GO!" Krieg yelled, making the two teens run around the Goliath. Once the two were gone the Goliath cracked his neck. "You took my fresh toe jam. I want fresh toe jam!"

"I'll give you toe jam, with a PAIN SALAD! And a side of nipples!" Krieg yelled as he rushed forward.

"CHARGE!" 1340 yelled gleefully as they rushed forward.

As the teens ran through the maze of buildings and Buzzard hangers Gaige looked to Kai. "So what did Krieg say?" Gaige asked. "What does Snugglebites orgy pole mean?"

"If I told you, you'd die of a nose bleed then later beat Krieg senseless for such a comment." Kai said as they rounded a corner and found themselves in a work area with several half-assembled Buzzards, plus several work tables with parts and tools. There were over a dozen bandits in grease and oiled covered overalls.

"MECHANICS! Show these intrudes what a grease monkey can do!" Yelled a large marauder with a welders mask as several bandits pulled pistols and SMGs while a few Psychos rushed forward with heavy monkey wrenches or crowbars. Gaige quickly pulled out her new favorite grenade as she tossed it between her and the charging Psychos. A second after it landed on the ground the silver grenade with the words Vladof painted on it exploded with a pop, as several Tesla coils flew out and blanketed the area. The Psychos were either unaware or uncaringly charged between the coils and were quickly all consumed in a fury of powerful electrical arcs. "REMY! I'M COOKED, AND I TASTE LIGHTNING-Y!" A psycho screamed before he and his buddys were turned into ash or fell dead. Two Psychos remained living and standing as they were smart enough to jump away from the tesla fields but Gaige finished them off with a few quick shots from her shotgun.

"I just love this storm front mod!" Gaige cheered happily as Kai rushed past. He had out a Torgue pistol with a bayonet on it. He fired several shots at a Bandit and Psycho, he blew a large hole in the psycho shoulder and blasted the Bandit's head off with a well-placed shot into the neck. Gaige switched to her Commerce Beta and fired at a Marauder that was trying to sneak up on Kai, the bullets hit the man caused him to stiffen as electrical arcs danced across his body as he screamed in agony. Kai noticed when the man started screaming and turned to see the sight. Without a second thought Kai pointed his gun at the Marauder and put two explosive shots into the Marauder's chest killing him instantly.

" _That's right, bitches, my big brudder and friends are about to teach you some MANNERS. Nobody steals Mushy Snugglebites' badonkadonk and lives!_ " Tina yelled over an open ECHO channel.

"Who the hell is Mushy Snugglebite!?" A Badass Marauder yelled before a sniper round exploded against the man shield and spattered him with slag. "What the- Ugh! It tastes like piss!" He yelled before Kai and Gaige both gunned the tall man down.

"Thanks for the help Morde." Kai said over the ECHO.

" _No problem man. Oh, got to go, looks like Sal and Maya need help with a crazy three armed Badass Psycho in a hula skirt_."

"Did he just say they're fighting a three armed Badass Psycho in a hula skirt?" Gaige asked.

"Don't ask, besides it's not the weirdest thing that will probably happen on this planet." Kai said as he pointed his gun at another Psycho only for his pistol to let out a loud clank. "The fuck? How does a revolver jam a shell casi- you know what forget it!" Kai yelled before he threw the revolver at the psycho, managing to nail the blade into the guy's head blade first. "Every time!" Kai yelled as he pulled out the Fast Talker.

"Still having trouble with finding a sidearm." Gaige asked.

"Yeah, no matter how good they are rarity wise something always happens to them." Kai said as he pointed the Fast Talker at the Psycho who was getting up.

"I... I feel incredible! Like all of the knowledge of the infinite universe is available to me. All of the great questions, life, religion, existence, our purpose! IT ALL FINALLY MAK-"

Kai unleashed a hail of orange bullets that caused the Psycho to ignite into a screaming inferno! "AAAAH AAAH WHY!" The Psycho screamed before burning into a pile of ash.

"Oh cool, you upgraded the barrel to Incendiary." Gaige said as she watched the fire die down.

"Actually this is the second barrel I've made. I can swap it out for a corrosive barrel in a minute flat if I want, and I'm working on the shock barrel next." Kai said with a grin before looking around the work area. "Tina, what exactly am I looking for?" Kai said.

" _On the bench in the back corner_."

Kai walked over and raised an eyebrow. "What am I looking at here?" Kai asked as Gaige walked over.

"Oh my gosh, it's an DMX-6000 Air to ground missile with radar, infrared, and integrated ECHO targeting system, which is coordinated with a Xetel 9000 bio processor core giving it the ability to hit a target the size of a flea traveling at hypersonic speeds!"

Kai raised an eyebrow at the sight of Gaige going full geek mode. "How do you know that?" But Gauge ignored him as she looked it over.

" _That's Mushy Snugglebites' badonkadonk."_ Tina states happily _. "She's my main squeeze. Lady's got a gut fulla' dynamite and a booty like POOOW!_ " Tina cheered. " _Bring that back to me dogs so I can get my boos all dressed up!_ " She said as Kai hefted the missile with both hands. " _Oh, before I forget, don't let her badonkadonk touch the ground. Believe me, that would be very baddy bad._ "

"Um, way?" Kai asked.

" _Because it would be disastrous! Also, do me a favour and kill that bandit over there_."

"What bandit?" The teens asked before a fury of lead started flying all around them causing teens jumped behind a nearby engine block for cover. Gaige glanced around the engine to see the welders masked marauder firing away with a rusty bandit spinigun. "Taste my hot load of lead, scrapers!"

A bullet ricocheted off the engine near Gaige's face making her duck back. "Okay, there's bandit with an assault rifle that shoots nearly as fast as your SMG but seems to also shoot four bullets per shot." Gaige said before the bullets stopped. The teens looked at each other before Gaige peeked her head over their cover to look, only to notice the Marauder was gone.

". . . Is he there?" Kai asked her as he shifted the missile in his arms so he could pull out a Tediore pistol from his inventory.

"I don't see him."

. . .

"DIIIIIIE!" The Marauder yelled as he jumped out of cover and unleashed another mag dump from his rifle. Several shots hit Gaige's shield before she ducked back down.

"Yeah, he's there still… Got any grenades?"

"No, I forget to restock yesterday after you took all of mine to use on that Squonax we fought off." Kai said. "But luckily I have a substitute." Kai pointed the pistol and shot a round off into the ground to disengage the reload safety before then chucking the weapon up and over their cover. Gaige glanced to see the pistol land about five meters from the Marauder behind a bench before exploding.

"Missed, try aiming little to the left."

"Umm, problem." Gaige looked and saw that the Gun had not returned to his hand.

"Where the fuck is your gun?" Gaige said.

"Well, obviously it didn't return to me. Do you have any more grenades or Tediore weapons?" He asked.

"Uh, no. As you said I used all of my grenades, plus you took my only Tediore weapon the other day." She replied hotly as her shield alerted her to being charged.

"That's because that rocket launcher was a piece of crap." Kai retorted.

"Who cares, it's still a rocket launcher!"

"Why not use DT?" Kai said as a bullet ricochet close to his foot

"Because I started an OS update for his digistruct system last night and it's still not done!" Gaige yelled back. "What about Hati!?"

Kai was about to retort when he stopped and thought about the question.

_**-Tina's place-** _

"Oh, my toast you are just so cute! I'm gonna hug you, petcha you, love you and pet you and squeeze you and call you George!" Tina yelled as she squeezed Hati who was still in his wolf pup form with an angry glare.

'I'm gonna rip Kai's ass a new one for this.' Hati thought as Tina danced around while seemingly trying to choke him.

_**-Back to the Plot-** _

"Aw shit, he gonna rip my ass a new one." Kai muttered.

"AAAAGH! Forget it! I'll deal with this shit bag myself! Gaige yelled as she jumped out of cover and charged at the Marauder.

"GAIGE!" Kai yelled in panic.

"That's it! Just keep coming, I'm gonna mount your lead-filled skull on my next Buzzard!" The Marauder screamed elatedly.

Gaige pulled out her Rogue Smuggler and fired as she just kept charging towards the Marauder as bullets flew by her or bit into her shield bit by bit. One to the right arm, 91%. A round to her thigh, 84%. The stomach, 77%. Left arm, 69%. Right boob, (OUCH) 62%.

"LEAD! LEAD! LEAD! LEAD FOR ALL!" The Marauder yelled as he shrugged off the shots from Gaige with his own shield.

"What the fuck?" Kai said in shock as he watched in amazement.

Hit to the shoulder, 58%. The foot, 54%. 51%, 48%, 46%, 44%, 42%. Gaige kept running at the trigger happy marauder. A few seconds later, there were several clicks as the guys gun stopped firing. "Shit need to reload ag-."

"EAT THIS!" Gaige yelled as she drew her left arm back and threw an uppercut into the man's chin. But instead of just knocking the man out, his entire torso was ripped off his lower half and sent flying into the sky in a trail of crimson mist. Gaige just stood there with her fist still raised up in shock and blood sprayed on her face and body. "Um, what?" Gaige asked as Kai walked over.

" _DAMN SUPERGIRL! You went and WRECKED that boyz shit!_ " Tina yelled.

"Since when could you hit like that?" Kai asked, getting a shrug in return.

" _No matter, that was SICK GIRL! Although I have to ask, how did you tank all that lead?"_ Tina asked as Kai nodded in agreement

"Oh, that's because my shield is an adaptive Anshin shield that adapts to gun types instead of elemental types. It can stack up to ten times to reduce damage from a singler weapon type for a total of 80%. However if the shield breaks, is hit by another weapon type or doesn't receive damage after a certain amount of time I lose the bonus. Maya and I found out when we went to clear out that Bandit infestation out front of Sanctuary four days ago." Gaige looked at her fist again. "However when I hit that Marauder I lost all of my stacks and lost 20 percent of my shield for some reason."

Kai thought about it for a second before setting the missile on a bench. Let me see that shield." Gaige handed him the shield and he quickly flipped it over and opened the access panel. He looked around at the components until he arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Well, that's interesting."

"What?"

"It appears that Anshin has been reverse-engineering bandit roid tech. However it's different, it appears to store the kinetic energy of bullet hits which then can be released in a melee. Sort of like an AMP shield." Kai said as he handed the device back to Gaige.

"Which means?"

"Which means you've got Anarchy for your melee attacks." It took several seconds for Gaige to digest Kai's words, slowly though she begins to realize the implications as a smile starts to form on her face. "Plus combined that with your robot arm that can already shatter concrete and well… You get the idea." Kai finished, leaving Gaige grinning from cheek to cheek.

"I am so BA!" She cheered. She then noticed the assault rifle the Marauder had dropped. Gaige went over and picked up the Bandit rifle which was a Unique called the Chopper. Gaige had to raise an eyebrow at the ammo capacity and fire rate. "Well, this is interesting. I'm keeping it." She said with a grin as Kai mentally moaned at the trouble that rifle was bound to cause him in the future.

" _Alright supergirl, now that you guys got badonkadonk I need you to open your inventory and pull out the package I put in your inventory_." Tina said. Curious, Gaige opened her inventory and pulled out a brown box with several wires sticking out, an old mechanical alarm clock, and a pink and rainbow glittered school calculator all strapped together with at least two rolls worth of multi-colored duct tape.

"Tina, when did you sneak a bomb into my inventory?" Gaige asked nervously.

"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS and find a nice little hiding spot for it. Gaige looked around and noticed an open grey chest. She went over and put it in place.

"Okay, found a spot. What now?" Gaige asked.

" _Now I need you to enter the following code_."

"Okay."

" _Alright, it' 8_."

"8 0 0 8." Gaige repeated as she punched it in before looking at the numbers. "Wait, is the code literally boob!?" Gaige said as Kai just facepalmed.

" _And what if it is supergirl. I like boobs and there is nothing wrong with that. Now hit the enter button and get the hell out of there. You got five minutes to find some good seats_."

Gaige hit the button and noted several lights turning red, indicating the bomb was now armed. She quickly closed the chest and turned to her friend. "Alright let's go."

They made their way back to the entry, where they arrived in time to see Krieg choke a Godlilth with his own neck, and then exited the camp where they met up with the others. "Awesome, you got your missile as well." Gaige said as they walked up.

"Yup, only it was after some weird shit." Maya said.

"What kind of shit?" Kai asked.

Maya thought back.

_**-10 minutes before-** _

Maya slammed into a wall and slid down. "Ugh, that gonna bruise later." she moaned in pain as she looked back to the fight Sal was running in panic as he carried the missile. Axton was firing away with his assault rifle as his turret was firing away, until a buzz-axe ripped into the turret.

"BABE, NO!" He cried out before something large landed in front of the turret. A badass Psycho in a hula skirt with a third extra monster arm coming out of his left shoulder ripped the axe out.

"ALOHA MY SPAM!" The psycho yelled before spinning around and unleashing a torrent of flames from his mask causing Zer0 to appear and roll out of the way.

"This guy is tough." Axton yelled.

"We need to disable him some ho-" Before Maya could finish they heard a scream drawing closer. Before anyone could figure out where it was coming from something landed on the psycho knocking him over and kicking up a small cloud of dust. Everyone stared at the dust cloud as they waited. Several seconds later a groan could be heard as the top half of a marauder appeared out of the dust.

"What the hell just happened." The Marauder asked. As the dust cleared more the Marauder, to his own surprise, raised fair taller then a normal Marauder would. When the dust cleared up the Vault hunters realized that the Marauder's torso was impaled on the Psycho head. The Marauder stared down for several seconds at this in shock. ". . . . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed.

"AAAAAAAH!" Everyone else screamed as well, including the muffed Psycho. "AAAAAAH, WHY ARE WE SCREAMING? AAAAAAAH!"

_**-Flashback Over-** _

"Huh, so that's where that upper half went." Kai said.

"Wait, that was you!?" Maya said with a surprised look.

"Me, no. It was R2-D2 over here." Kai said, jerking his free hand toward Gaige who gained a tick mark.

"I don't know whether I should take that as an insult, a compliment, or both." Gaige said with an angry pout as she looked away from Kai.

Maya stared in shock at the redhead. "How the ever-living fuck did you-"

" _QUIET! . . ."_ Tina yelled over the ECHO getting everyone's attention. " _Good, now witness, my magic! Abra, Kadabra,_ _GIMME FUEL, GIMME FIRE, GIMME THAT WHICH I DESIRE! OOH!_ " Tina yelled.

A second later two massive fireballs erupted from the base quickly engulfing it in a glowing ball of flames. " _AEWWW, THAT A SPICY MEATBALL!_ " Tina yelled as everyone picked themselves up for the third time that day.

"Tina, what the fuck did you put in those bombs!?" Axton said.

" _I put in all of my love, charity and kindness._ "

"Are you really pretending to be cute after THAT!" Axton yelled motioning to the still raising fireballs.

" _BITCH I'M ADORABLE!_ " Tina yelled as Kai facepalmed and muttered something about how proud his aunt would be.

"Screw this, let's just get back to the cave." Gaige said as she turned and walked away. "I need a shower." She muttered.

_**-An Hour Later-** _

They all return to the cave where Kai and Salvador placed the missiles on a workbench in Tina's workshop. "There's your bodonkadonks. Ugh… So why could we not set them on the ground?" Sal asked as he rolled his sore shoulder.

"Because they would have gotten dirty." Tina said as she checked them over.

". . . And?" Kai inquired.

"And what? Do you know how hard it is to wash dirt off a bodonkadonk! It would be disastrous." Tina cried out.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Both Sal and Kai yelled out while the others gathered near Mordecai.

"So what do we do now?" Axton asked as he took a seat on a nearby ammo crate.

"Well, Tina will probably have the missiles-"

"Bodonkadonks!" Tina yelled as she flailed around in Kai outstretched hand as he carried her to the group by the back of her shirt collar. "There called bodonkadonks Morde. AAAH!" Tina screamed as Kai dropped her on her butt. "Yo cuz, what the hell was that for!" She said as she got up and rubbed her bottom.

"For making a fight harder than it needs to be." Kai retorted.

"As I was saying, Tina will get the missiles done here soon, but the train won't be here for another two days at max." Mordecai stated as Gaige arched an eyebrow.

"Wait, does that mean we have to camp here for the next few days." Gaige asked.

"Wait, didn't Roland tell you about that?" Mordecai asked.

"Ugh, he might have mentioned it." Maya said as she thought back.

"And I'm guessing you don't have a Fast Travel here." Axton added.

"Sorry guys." Morde said. "And before anyone asks, I got the sofa already."

Axton let out a sigh and opened his inventory to pull out an old Atlas sleeping bag. "Welp I'm going to go find a quiet spot, wake me by O eight hundred if I'm not up." Maya pulled out her own sleeping bag and followed.

"I got to find a comfy rock." Sal said.

"Ditto angry man." Krieg said as he walked after him. Leaving Kai, Gaige, Tina, Mordecai and Zer0.

"So disappointed I am / Ready to fight we are / But wait we do." Zer0 stated with an angry face emote.

"He's right, what are we supposed to do for the next few days?" Gaige asked.

"Well if you guys are interested. I've got a few jobs you could do for me." Tina said.

"What kind of jobs?" Kai asked.

"Oh, a little rescue, a little bit of theft, and little bit of. . . _fun_." Tina said with a grin.

They all just stared at her for several seconds in shock. "As your only family member I feel like I should be concerned but I am too curious to actually say no." Kai said.

"Pique my interest is / excitement this will bring me / I wait for tomorrow." Zer0 said before he flickers from sight.

"I can never get a read on that guy." Gaige said.

"He's is a weird one." Mordecai agreed before walking off. I'm gonna check the area before I go to sleep, see you guys in the morning."

"So where will we sleep?" Kai asked no one in particular.

"Well, I do have an extra bedroom that you and your girlfriend can share."

"What?" Kai said surprise as Gaige's face turned crimson.

"WOAH, hold on we're not-" Gaige started.

"Gotta go! Those Bodonkadonks aren't gonna ready themselves." Tina said before running off leaving the confused teens.

". . . Well I don't know about you but today was fun." Kai said as Gaige slumped a little and let out a tired sigh.

"GRRRRR."

Kai froze before slowly turning around to see Hati in his attack mode with several robbins tied to his fur. "Oh... hey buddy." Kai said nervously. "H-how was your day?"

"Grrrrrr!"

"Oh… Well I appreciate the head start. . . GOTTA RUN GAIGE!" Kai yelled as he bolted for the door. Gaige stared after him for several seconds before looking to the wolf.

" You're not giving him the full head start, are you?" Gaige asked the hologram. Hati just grinned before rushing after his partner while charging a small Mjölnir in his mouth. With a howl, the wolf fired it at Kai who barely dodged.

"DAMMIT HATI!" Kai yelled as he kept running.

Gaige just stood there as she watched Kai getting chased as a small explosion erupted from Tina's workshop. At the same time, an argument between Axton and Maya had seemed to start in another part of the cave, while Krieg and Salvador decided to have a fistfight. "Why is life so crazy?" Gaige moaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOT GUIDE
> 
> NOTE: All gear is based on level fifty stats.
> 
> The Cap
> 
> Manufacturer: Anshin
> 
> Weapon type: Shield
> 
> Weapon Grade: Mythic
> 
> Flavor Text: Someone get this man a shield!
> 
> Description: A hybrid adaptive roid shield that works two-fold. Unlike normal adaptive shields instead of gaining resistance to elemental damage, it gains resistance to specific weapon types. If the user is shot by an SMG several times consecutively, it will gain a stack point to that weapon type and reduce all incoming damage from that weapon type by 8% with each hit, until the stacks cap off at ten. If the shield is damaged by another weapon type or isn't damaged by the specific weapon type within thirty seconds it will also lose its stacks at a rate of one per every five seconds. Lastly, if the shield is depleted all stacks will be lost instantly.
> 
> While the user has any amount of stacks available the stacks can be used to amp melee damage by 15% per each stack. Upon use of a melee, the stacks will all be spent along with 25% of the capacity of the shield, and the damage reduction bonus will be lost. Note that while the shield reduces weapon damage it will not affect elemental effect damage.
> 
> Appearance: The shield housing consists of a rounded curved disc housing with a glowing white star-shaped emitter core in the center. The outer housing has a polished red, white, and blue trimming.
> 
> Capacity: 16347
> 
> Recharge Rate: 5723
> 
> Recharge Delay: 1.82
> 
> Max Health: +19481

**Author's Note:**

> So if you've made it this far, I just want to note that I won't be adding any notes until Chapter 19 when it's released... Maybe one in Chapter 18. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this story so far, as this is only going to get crazier and crazier as we go.


End file.
